94 - All Right

September 15, 2016 - Everything is all right.
Weather: "Plough" by Speedy Ortiz speedyortiz.com/
Become a member on Patreon today to help us keep making Welcome to Night Vale and get cool stuff, like Director’s Notes, bonus episodes, and even a new character named after you.
/ welcometonightvale
Music: Disparition (disparition.info).
Logo: Rob Wilson (robwilsonwork.com).
Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.
HEY WHY'S THERE NO VIDEO? Welcome to Night Vale is a audio podcast. All standard episodes have no video component. To subscribe to the podcast, go to iTunes, Stitcher, Podbay.fm, or find our RSS feed at nightvale.libsyn.com/rss

[@blaire1559]

Half the time the City Council is like an omnipresent evil force sent from hell and the rest of the time I'm like ninety percent sure they're just a moody teenager.

[@MySerpentine]

Maybe it’s a teenage evil force from Hell?

[@sneepsnorp9986]

@@MySerpentine who eats kittens apparently

[@segadoeswhatnintendont]

@@sneepsnorp9986 nah, they eat guns now

[@mikkellarsen3643]

Let's not forget the absentee parent... Whenever danger is afoot

[@Obstreperous_Octopus]

5:10 "Oh no. Someone saw you with your finger in your ear!" Ha! Joke's on you, Cecil! I'm a lonely, pathetic, sap who's sitting alone in an otherwise empty room, so nobody saw me. Show's what you know!

[@GraceSolar]

but your always being watched. Watched by the secret police. And STTTTEEEVVVEE CARLSBURGGG because he's a stalker.

[@jollyddaeng]

William Bowles I think the faceless old woman saw you.

[@Lord_Daeman]

Don't forget the hundreds of hidden cameras watching your every move.

[@sleepyselkiesiren]

And what about that secret agent who was assigned to watch you?

[@kevincurran1250]

Really maybe saw you outside or the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home saw so you might not be save

[@michaelcuthbertson6333]

Literally as Cecil explained that the creature might be watching you, my rabbit took a large bite out of a carrot, and I may have jumped out of my chair and punched a lamp. Well played Night Vale, well played

[@hyenaedits3460]

Your instincts were right. The lamp was the thing that was watching you.

[@fitzgerald4744]

I love this episode. It's really creative and touching...but my favorite thing about it is that before the Weather - before our death - Cecil speaks in both ears, and plays the Weather in both ears, just so we don't have to hear the monster as it kills us. Makes me feel like Cecil really cares about his listeners, even in their last moments.

[@darwinlp9860]

"They were wrong, that sound was very likely the thing that is terrorizing you." Me, looking down at my purring cat: "oh snap"

[@sleepyret]

"& hey -- good luck surviving this episode" *WHAT THE FUCK*

[@sleepyret]

i want a collection of all the super sweet stuff cecil says like in this episode "youre aaaall riiiight"

[@AshB78]

holy shit I've been wearing my earbuds backwards I have been wearing these earbuds for months

[@entirelybonkers1916]

I just realized the same thing when Cecil said "Hold it up to your left ear." And I was like "Cecil, I already have my headphones in that ear. How can I hear anything? Do you not know your directions?" And then I did the hand thing for the L and it even took me a second until I realized what was going on.

[@jessicasoesanto5046]

Oh gosh, shivers were sent down my spine when Cecil's voice started glitching and went to the right.

[@notsohuman40]

I thought my brand fucking new headphones were going out and I was about to get pissed

[@AerisRising]

Jessica Soesanto what this did not happen to me skree. I dont get what the hype about this episode is it was just like a normal episode but the voice swapped back and forth

[@furubafangirl001]

I'm ten minutes in, and still hearing Cecil's honey-laced voice in both sides on my headphones. Am I just being impatient, or is it not working for my headphones?

[@z9173]

@@furubafangirl001 not all headphones work with directional audio

[@petit4489]

Reading the title, I get the nagging feeling that everything is, in fact, not alright

[@julianneallred6947]

You're right some was left

[@PiggiePro123]

Lol I am laughing way too much at this

[@FionnFisher]

Aaaaaay

[@MySerpentine]

All right need not mean alright

[@BestOnThursdays]

Puns

[@beetlefeet9059]

normally I would read the comments during the weather but I was to busy waiting for my death.

[@GreenDrkness]

Madelynn OAKS my douchebag friends who are caught up did this cause they are douches

[@Rabbachino]

this episode made me look like a complete idiot. 10/10 would listen in a public place again

[@emilyeastwood3589]

same I'm on a bus and holy shit the looks I got

[@chynnasmith8398]

im in the middle of computer science and flipped shit

[@FionnFisher]

'uh oh, someone saw you with your finger in your ear. . .'

[@AerisRising]

I dont have headphones, but luckily im in my home

[@AerisRising]

I just stole my sisters expensive headphones

[@PhantomFandoms]

OH MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED. THIS EPISODE WAS LITERALLY ALL RIGHT. ALL. RIGHT. OH MY GOD.

[@-coffeecat1590]

oh no

[@unicorn_jazz]

This may sound stupid but the episode really got to me towards the end. The stuff about how I will always be here in this reality, no matter how many escaping places I create for myself. I'm not going to be fine, I'm still anxious and helpless but you made me realise what I'm doing with my life. That's right. Nothing.

[@ilikrandomness]

The lights at my fuckin' job went out at 9:00. That was just the wake up I needed to get through lunch. Thanks Cecil! And automated lighting fixtures too I guess. But mostly Cecil.

[@ilikrandomness]

Oh crap. That was a reply and not a comment. Or both. Ah well. Guess someone is seeing these comments more than others.

[@nikolasjourneay9474]

Realizing you weren't doing anything you valued was doing something. Hope 4 years after that comment you made positive changes and are doing good. This show is great

[@irinore]

So I was ironing curtains when Cecil told me to rub the iron against my face

[@nikolasjourneay9474]

Cecil is disappointed that you didn't listen to him. He is glad your face isn't burnt though. Overall he has mixed feelings about you. Cecil told me to tell you this btw. Glad I didn't have to do something crazy

[@catmanchor]

Right when he said to that the breeze might be the thing trying to kill me, I turned to see my fan blowing in my direction

[@HexManiacQuinn]

What do you know? I was also facing a fan...

[@WhaleManMan]

AND THEY SAID NIGHT VALE HAS GOTTEN STALE.

[@LoL12kricki]

Oh god I was NOT ready for the ending, I've used this as an escape for months and I just .-. wow.. this is why i love this podcast

[@Medquill]

last week I was at work, and hailed the glow cloud over the walkie-talkie system for management to hear. no regrets (+_+)

[@beaniepollard8290]

our true hero

[@RiahGreen]

you are amazing and I love you

[@catlovercami717]

I love you, man.

[@FionnFisher]

All hail, all praise, all bow down before the allmighty glowcloud who's very whim dictates our existence!

[@GravityzCatz]

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD.

[@cassodembreankia2076]

I was walking home from college listening to this and SOMEONE ACTUALLY SAW ME STICK MY FINGER IN MY EAR MOMENTS BEFORE CECIL LAUGHED AT IT!

[@hannahh2504]

Lmao I'm almost completely deaf in my right ear

[@flo-zy1zu]

same

[@LyricNear]

same

[@punkcrocs7836]

hannah herboldh If the last thing I hear on my right ear be Cecil Baldwin's voice.... It was worth it

[@NovaStella_]

Hahaha, I'm in bed. There's no way the monster could be on my right, there's a wall there. Hahah- Oh. Oh fuck. I sleep under an air conditioner. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck SOMEONE HELP ME

[@NovaStella_]

5 years later. Monster didn’t get me Try harder next time, beast. :)

[@DKHAKDHSJS]

@@NovaStella_ glad to know you’re still alive, unlike that poor boy, Wayne Ferry.

[@Crows_Den]

I was not prepared for this. Today I had a meltdown. I'd been using this show as an escape and then this comes out. Oooh man I was not prepared.

[@Add183]

What happened?

[@raulendymion9917]

you okay?

[@Crows_Den]

Roronoa Zoro Was just a meltdown. It happens sometimes. Everything is fine now!. Thank you for asking. ***** Raul Endymion Ah, sorry for not responding immediately! I'm fine, no worries! I hope you're both doing alright as well. Thank you for the concern.

[@raulendymion9917]

ur welcome. meltdowns aside i like their other podcasts. you might like them?

[@tsanguine]

Kaytehh Me too

[@maicey_t.]

I'm listening to this in the middle of the night on a lonely and seemingly endless two-lane country road. This was a great episode. It had me grinning the whole way through. Thanks for keeping me company while I travel, Night Vale. All right, Cecil. Goodnight.

[@PhantomFandoms]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS SO COOL OH MY FUCKING GOD I CANT EVEN THAT WAS SO FREAKY AND AWESOME AND JUST I CANT HANDLE THIS AMAZING THING NIGHT VALE HAS DONE

[@mezz09smezzanine]

THAT. THAT is the appropriate sentiment for this episode! Well said Haiden

[@saijalovesmusic]

I didn't even know how much I needed to hear that ending. This is one of my favourite episodes ever, it felt kind of like I was seeing a live show again.

[@jennifercavenee7572]

"This creature is an expert at stealth. A brutal, perfect killer." *Looks down at my fat, clumsy cat sleeping next to me* Well it sure ain't you.

[@senteade-2046]

It always astounds me how much these guys know their audience. That people do use this show for escape, including me. I'm not sure whether to feel uncomfortable or comforted by that ending...

[@ActionYakPolice]

Cool my right earbud doesn't even work and I need to buy new headphones to even listen to this.

[@jayl713]

ditto -_-

[@sodaleche]

If you are listening to this episode on a mobile device you may be able to listen to this episode by going to your settings (most like in the section called accessibility if you have one) and modifying the audio output. I hope this helped a bit ^_^

[@ActionYakPolice]

Ah, thank you! I have bought new headphones though so I should be able to listen to this properly now. What they did with this episode really is a creative idea and I'm not criticizing them for it, its just inconvenient when you have this specific problem.

[@RiahGreen]

lol sorry

[@piecesreeces]

my left doesn't work, I'm left wondering what is going on

[@knaughtsmith9611]

"this episode is meant to be listened to with headphones " " good luck surviving this episode " " its alright " some serious shit is about to go down isn't it

[@cherrysda7815]

this episode was pretty all right..

[@dawnwayfinder]

How are you even here right now? Didn't your reality get erased?

[@luckychonk9527]

GODDAMIT

[@nicomoron001]

+dawn Wayfinder only if you kill the judge

[@emileerainey2412]

I just realized that the name of this episode is because all the audio is in our right ears XD they should do kinda like that 5 gum truth or dare where you take out one headphone for truth and one for dare and have a Night Vale broadcast in your right ear and Desert Bluffs in your left ear

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodwa54]

I’m just imagining random audio snippets on this premise now. The main two are Kevin and Cecil saying almost identical things with neither aware of the other and them just... having a full blown conversation and/or argument. Thank you for putting this wonderful idea in my mind.

[@tallybecon6402]

The ending hit really close to home- made me cry a little, haha,

[@Felix_Rose525]

This gave me a fucking heart attack

[@joheyjonsson2825]

Gah. Listening to this with noise cancelling head phones makes me question the function of my left ear.

[@AustinNebbia]

This episode literally had me crouching next to my air conditioner.

[@makataka2552]

“There’s something behind you!” Cecil, honey I’m lying in bed... there’s wall behind me

[@tierd_spaghetti0]

A wall is a something

[@HeyLookASquirrl]

...I can't believe it took me until the very end of the episode to get the pun in the title. Wow.

[@imnotclever7353]

interesting, entertaining, all around fun, and heart warming in the end. I loved this episode. One of my new favorites.

[@marymear7003]

mine too. i really liked the ending

[@alexiszager2376]

I've been using this podcast to escape whenever I start becoming extremely nervous. But they're right.

[@glimmah]

I'm actually crying, I've been in quarantine with my family for I don't know how long, things in my country are not that awful yet and there's no cases in my town (that we are aware of) but it's gonna go awful even once the quarantine ends. I've been listening to this all weak while cleaning and cooking, avoiding news... I miss my life. I should be crying because of uni not because the world is ending

[@Elanel]

"Do you hear the hum of an air conditioner? That could also be it." Me: Sh%t.

[@rosemarycat5]

This episode was really trippy. I always listen with headphones only in the right ear, so when he said that, I felt to attacked. In a good way, obviously. Also, words as knives was a really really cool metaphor actually.

[@Artemiska58]

somebody sent me an SMS during the weather (it turns off KZbin to play the ding sound) and I legit jumped

[@notsohuman40]

I love the line at the end where its like "its a world that will kill you, but also a where that will allow you to live" cause I don't think its meant in that its gonna let you live until it doesn't want you to. I think its like...you can survive and you can live. You can do both in this world. But it allows you to live and experience and make this life more than a life. You can make it a life that was lived to its fullest or something

[@GreenDrkness]

I don't know about all of you listeners but I followed all his instructions while I was at my campus Student Center and my friends just looked at me weird except for my fellow listeners who already listened to this episode and just smirked and giggled at me

[@croaklikeatoad4384]

The dangerous creature sure sounds a lot like my dad listening to jazz in the next room

[@Nebulax_]

listening top this in the middle of college is the best, just sitting here with my finger in my ear. XD

[@lairdofpawblins]

Even when he's only in one ear Cecil's voice is the most calming damn sound I've ever heard. -3-

[@cousinmajin]

I was in my backyard during the 'eyes closed' part and right at the end of the weather, my cat came up and sniffed my leg. She barely touched her nose to my knee and breathed and... holy shit. I said I wouldn't open my eyes even if I was about to die but I COULDN'T HELP IT OH MY GOD

[@MultiNevyn]

I went to go use the bathroom right as the snake segment started.

[@splicedup13]

I felt like I was being watched during this entire episode 😨 plus I never wear headphones so... this was intense. excellent 👻

[@emilym4081]

"Good luck surviving this episode" Me: What did you do to Cecil? Who died? Is OWJ ok? Me, about a minute later: I'm the one in danger? Oh thank god. But for real, this was a really good episode. Keep up the great work guys, A++

[@beaniepollard8290]

Well, this is what I normally do with my headphones - keep one ear open. Thanks, Cecil.

[@nerdpiggy]

Woah. The end of this really clicked with me. It feels like the message was for me specifically, because of how much it described me perfectly.

[@minerva4711]

I think that this and number 100 are my favorite wtnv episodes. 💜

[@Incred_Canemian]

I don't have my headphones on me, but I'm assuming that all the sound is coming from the right earbud.

[@matthueloose7172]

Sure, let's go with that.

[@RiahGreen]

sometimes from the left also re listen with headphones

[@harrystyles705]

I'm charging my phone please don't come for me I'll make a sacrifice to city council I swear

[@totallynotphoenixwright]

Tfw you're deaf in your left ear and wear your headphones left-right and right-left so you have to turn around your headphones to be over your cochlear implant.

[@johnniallen502]

So I looked insane sitting on my living room couch glaring at my orange juice and wheat filled gold fish while humming and spinning around suspiciously.....

[@ItsCamille735]

If this all turns out to be an Empty Man Cometh thing I'm gonna flip a table.

[@sofie4216]

I was brushing my teeth when the snake thing happened. This is fun.

[@sullyrane653]

I’m listening to this during a calm rainy morning with birds chirping everywhere and rumbles in the distance, outside with my toddler learning to use her tricycle. That pause to listen for the monster was so serene and calm omg 😭💕✨

[@taylerking9576]

my headphones are actually broken so I thought I had to adjust the wire until he said that

[@caketreeworld8431]

This has to be one of my favourite episodes of all. The ending was just so inspiring and it impacted me so much because I use this show as a escape from reality. And the headphone stuff was just so clever.

[@hollandscottthomas]

I've listened to this entire series at work with only my right headphone on/in. This was perfect.

[@rowneko]

All right, Night Vale, Good night

[@Probly_a_sweet_potato]

HOLY CRAP!!!! I actually picked up a tissue box for the Word from the Sponsor! AND IT WAS A KLENEX ONE!!!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL‽‽‽‽‽‽

[@screamingtrees3548]

10:40 I just shook my cat and rubbed her on my face I hope you're happy nightvale.

[@Marquise_de_Clarabas]

Best Night Vale experience ever! I was in my home, with my cat close, I'm happy she wasn't the monster ;)

[@moonshadows3594]

mine too it decided to float into the room scare hell out of me then it hover over the bed giving off a strange pressure on my leg which freaked me out giving off this strange humming sound as it wanted me to worship it

[@LuluGE]

hoo boy, that was an experience

[@OtherMomo]

oh god this angry coin is actually a wasps nest! Kleenex, you liiiieeeeddd to meeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@changelingchild]

When i was listening to this I reached for the bobble heads on my window that made a steady ticking sound and my earbud accidentally came out. This wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that my laptop glitched out as soon as that happened. Thanks computer, for making a lovely and scary episode even creepier.

[@iBeSupicious]

"Any noise you hear" as i'm clicking away at my mouse.

[@atherer1843]

I'm partially deaf in my right ear so I turned the volume to max, bad idea! When it switched I almost had a heart attack! Thanks for that Cecil, just what I needed.

[@sodercan1167]

currently crying over cecil playing the weather over both ear buds and instructing you to close your eyes because he wants to spare you from experiencing as much of ur death as he can :'^)

[@null_verdict]

I'm so uncomfortable

[@ohnoohno110]

I needed this in a weird way. I cried at the end when he said I was all right.

[@bitebitekill]

Night vale always calms me down so I decided to watch this at like 4am when I couldn’t sleep. Now I’m downstairs going into the guest bedroom so I don’t wake up the whole house by humming. Probably my favourite episode yet XD

[@emmas3555]

i broke up with my boyfriend like 2 days ago and this came out and it told me that everything was all right and i really needed that message. thank god for this podcast.

[@spirals5159]

When Cecil said to move close to the sound my cat started purring

[@secoura]

The ending of this was just perfect.

[@rachelbrenner4092]

I was about to choke on my sushi when he did the ear part.

[@dramasbomin]

It's endings like this episode and the Retirement of Pamela Winchell that I LOVE this show so much. I'm saving up for a tattoo representing Night Vale so I can be reminded of all this wonderful advice.

[@cecil8499]

WOW! This episode was just too much!!

[@thegoodboy8831]

this is actually the one time i have ever actually listened to wtnv with headphones on

[@britaki]

Thank you, Cecil.

[@null_100]

OOOHHOHOH my god this episode was so rad. good job on this, i loved this episode very much, especially the ending!! keep doing what you're doing!!!

[@viperv6768]

This was cool, I love it when shows do this kind of thing with sound

[@carnehot6701]

That was amazing! Amazing episode!

[@lilaboxx]

This, one year later and toast are my favorite episodes

[@satarupagingerkolay]

O Lord, in the intro when the sound was coming out of only one headphone, I was about to cry because I thought my headphones are malfunctioning.

[@arthayakai7267]

I have rarely ever had anything put me quite so much on edge as this episode

[@michaelag2224]

this episode made me so anxious

[@egyptspivey777]

well this episode was genuinely creepy and the headphone aspect really help to add to the tension.

[@Graph06]

Listened to this episode during a thunderstorm, good fun

[@RatelHBadger]

Today is the day of weird! A new Broken Matt Hardy video and a new episode of Nightvale!!!

[@JP-mg5hy]

This was the most terrifying episode of Nightvale. I was not aware this podcast would have this level of horror. I started a conversation.

[@DeadNotSleeping789]

What a good episode, especially the ending!

[@Jayyy25]

21:14 til the end, rly hit me. I'll be coming back to this every now and then lol

[@JamieAshleyWoods]

...I needed this

[@KarliCartoons]

As someone who's deaf in my right ear, my heart sank when the announcement at the beginning said it was important to have headphones on, but I became relieved when all I had to do was switch my headphones a couple of times