I’m so excited for this! My best friend(gay,M) and I(pan, F) recently discovered relationship anarchy and have been learning about it! We’ve always been close and as we’re getting older we’ve sort of become life partners, but a traditional relationship wasn’t on the table obviously so we’ve been figuring it out. Glad to have some more resources to look into :)
@nnmpodcast3 күн бұрын
Love this!! If you haven't seen the relationship anarchy smorgasbord it may be worth googling it. There are lots of great articles and resources that talk about it and it can be really helpful in co-creating a relationship structure with partners. :)
@bigmcg74844 күн бұрын
Such a beautiful conversation, so helpful, thank you!
@lexythompson91312 күн бұрын
This was a really good episode. I’m not interested in exploring non monogamy at this point but the guests were very engaging and it was a great interview!
@rachelgueste61654 күн бұрын
I loved the deep dive into mono-poly relationships! Love Emma and Fin and I was so excited to see them on your show.
@nnmpodcast4 күн бұрын
Oh yay! Hello! 🤩Thank you for sharing the love! This is our first video interview and it's fun to see someone who's heard of us! 😅
@anticapitalisthomedesign2 күн бұрын
The way I brought it up to my long distance partner at the time (~7 years ago) was by texting "so we're monogamous, right?" because I knew he wasn't really interested in polyamory at the time and had some trauma around a partner leaving him for someone else. Flash forward a couple years, and we were both happily poly for the rest of our relationship. We ended up parting ways recently, but it always amuses me how I first brought it up. My most recent relationship that I just started a month ago, I mentioned after our first date that I was meeting up with an ex, and I said "I don't know if we're at the point where we're telling each other these things or if you're even monogamous, but..." and we talked about it, and it ends up we're both mostly on the same page about how we experience polyamory, and it was such a beautiful, easy, fun experience compared to the other relationship lol.
@nnmpodcastКүн бұрын
Whatever works, right?! 😁 Sometimes it's as simple as a text. I also love the point you make about "being on the same page about how we experience polyamory..." I think that is so often missed... It's like saying "I love seafood! You love seafood?! Awesome! Let's go eat get raw oysters! What? You only like fish sticks?" Neither is wrong, they're both seafood, and neither person is likely gonna have a good time eating seafood together.
@girlinred94794 күн бұрын
I don't like the phrasing "getting your partner on board"- it implies one person pressuring the other instead of a decision that is made together
@AMcGrath824 күн бұрын
It's true. Both my wife and I learned about it from a friend. Neither of us had to convince the other.
@SandraLugn-nc1rk4 күн бұрын
There are definitely couples where one want to open up the relationship and the other is not happy about that and to give tipps how to communicate in a loving and respectful way about that is so important. Ignoring it will not help!
@nnmpodcast4 күн бұрын
Fin here! (The one from the video above 😁) Totally understand how that phrasing makes it seem like one person is pressuring the other... (Sidenote: it looks like Alayna changed the thumbnail to remove the phrase, which is awesome!) Anyways... I didn't hear anyone use that phrasing during the episode and I agree that it can have connotations of one person pressuring another. This is something we'll keep in mind and be mindful of as we continue our work. For me, the intention of getting someone on board isn't about getting them to do something they don't want but rather to get them up to speed on where I'm at and then to have a conversation about where we're both at and what we both need so that we're "on board" together. And for sure... This is not something everyone has to do. Some people come to it at the same time and some people are both already Non-Monogamous when they meet. I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of the comments and care around making sure people aren't being pressured. Thank you for listening! 😊
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341Күн бұрын
Why does "getting your partner on board" imply pressuring them to get on board to you, though? 🤔🤔 Think of it like boarding a plane, or boarding a boat/ship/whatever-someone can get on board a plane all by themself, too, right?? So why exactly do you default, in a relationship discussion, to thinking that getting your partner on board means pressuring or coercing or convincing them to do so in any way if they aren't genuinely interested in doing so themself?😅 idk. (I'm sincerely asking here, not trying to incredulously ridicule or anything at all. But tone is difficult to manage how it might or might not always be perceived, especially over text. So..I'm really sorry if it reads weird at all.🙃🫣🙏😁)
@nnmpodcastКүн бұрын
@@jaginaiaelectrizs6341 Didn't read weird at all to me... I'm right there with you. For me, getting people on board is about getting them on board with how I am thinking, not getting them to DO that thing.
@faeriesandrainbowsКүн бұрын
I loved this episode! 💖
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341Күн бұрын
22:32 - Also, don't beat your partner or their other partner up over it? either? 😅 😁
@nnmpodcastКүн бұрын
Maybe we just stop beating everyone up over feeling jealous, altogether... It happens in monogamy, non-monogamy, friendships, family situations, work relationships, and on and on... 😅😆
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341Күн бұрын
@@nnmpodcast True, true! That's basically what I was getting at, myself, too. Feelings are normal/human. I completely agree with you all that it's much more what people do with or because of those feelings, or how they handle having them, which is the important part-moreso than simply having any particular feeling or another at all / in general. 🙂💜🤍
@ninreck512112 сағат бұрын
if compersion is just joy for another person's joy, can it also be "my friend got their dream apartment"?
@SandraLugn-nc1rk4 күн бұрын
Thank you this was great!
@nnmpodcast4 күн бұрын
Thank you! 🤗
@chessatthecrossroads1213Күн бұрын
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@aurora36554 күн бұрын
Dear St8s, I don’t wanna be ur unicorn. Bon chance mes amis ✌🏻 kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXW3hIitfr-Xg80feature=shared