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In this episode of the Pure Digital Passion podcast, I had the pleasure of hosting Maurice Matheka, one of Kenya's and Africa's only male professional relationship and sex therapists. Maurice is someone I know from my teenage years so its quite interesting I got to have him on my podcast. The truth be said, this podcast's subject matter was completely uncharted territory for me as it had nothing in common with matters technology!
Maurice's journey from growing up in Mombasa, studying and working in the UK, to becoming a full-time therapist in Kenya is nothing short of unconventional. During our candid and sometimes controversial conversation, we delved into the complexities of relationships, sexual satisfaction, and the societal factors impacting them. Buckle up!
The Importance of Honesty in Relationships
Maurice emphasized that many relationships fail due to a lack of honesty between partners. Whether it's about the state of the relationship or individual needs, open communication is crucial. He pointed out that love alone does not guarantee the success of a relationship. Instead, an authentic friendship between partners is more important. Maurice believes that being honest from the onset can prevent many issues later on.
The Role of Religion and Societal Expectations
Our discussion touched on how religion often pressures individuals to stay in unhappy relationships. Maurice observed that this can lead to extramarital affairs as a form of escape. Additionally, he noted that young Kenyans often approach relationships transactionally, with money and resources being key drivers. This lack of a strong foundation can lead to unstable relationships.
The Struggles of Kenyan Men
Maurice shared that many Kenyan men feel unappreciated in relationships, seen only as providers rather than holistic beings who also need love and appreciation. This lack of emotional support can have severe consequences, including a rise in male suicide rates. Furthermore, he noted that many men are not being "masculine" enough, resulting in women finding them less appealing, even if they are married, leading to cheating and breakups.
The Importance of Sexual Satisfaction
A part of out conversation focused on sexual satisfaction. Maurice stated that unsatisfying sex is a major factor leading to infidelity among both men and women. He stressed the importance of getting the sexual aspect of a relationship right to ensure its overall success. Couples need to be honest about their sexual preferences and work together to maintain a satisfying sexual connection.
The Future of Relationships
Maurice's outlook on the future of relationships in Kenya is somewhat pessimistic, given the current trends. However, he believes that both men and women can turn things around by having honest and candid conversations about their expectations and needs from the beginning. This proactive approach can prevent many issues that arise from unmet expectations and societal pressures.
Final Thoughts
Hosting Maurice Matheka on the Pure Digital Passion podcast was an eye-opening and even an uncomfortable experience at times!. His insights into the dynamics of relationships and sexual satisfaction are clearly invaluable even if they clearly challenge what may be many preconceived notions. By addressing these issues openly, couples can work towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Have a watch, or a listen, and keep an open mind!