A Conversation on Singleness | Christ Church London

[@hamilton9651]

I want to be single. It's not isolating as long as you live a normal life just without a spouse and children. I like being on my own and being free to do whatever things I like.

[@missNCW]

Married Christians don’t know the HALF of his hard singleness is, and they don’t care. They just want to preach at you and feel superior. It’s NOT easier to be ALONE. That is ridiculous. How can having a HELPMATE be harder, married people just want to be victims but also show off.

[@Anthony-yy3kc]

Most Christian couples I know and I think the prevailing attitude in the Church is marriage is so we can express our sexual desires legally. Yes companionship and family play a part, and I am not saying marriage doesn't have blessings within! But overall I do not accept that every married person waited on God and became totally content in God and got to know themselves first and then found their spouse. If that were true the divorce rate would not be 50%.

[@missNCW]

Exactly but we’re not allowed to say that, because married people have a sense of superiority and enjoy lecturing single people on improving themselves, like there’s something wrong with them as they are. But then on the other hand, blame them for not feeling good enough.

[@missNCW]

Well said Anthony. They love to act like they achieved perfection, and treat single people like they can’t possibly be healthy and ready for marriage.

[@kingdomnow1628]

Really enjoyed this Lou and the discussion a conversation on marriage - I wonder if it might be good to have a conversation where some single and married people come together?

[@missNCW]

No, because married people have a sense of superiority and enjoy lecturing single people on everything. Especially improving themselves, like there’s something wrong with them as they are. But on the other hand also blame them for not feeling good enough. It’s not God, it’s not society. It’s married Christians and their judgemental attitude and cruel lack of compassion for single people, which makes them feel inadequate. Which makes single people feel like less important Christians, less Holy and less mature.

[@missNCW]

It’s time for married people to LISTEN, they do all the talking. Including about singleness. They don’t need yet another opportunity to lecture, and act like they understand, when they don’t. ANY married person lacks understanding because the BIGGEST part of singleness and it’s difficulty is the fear that you will face all the waiting, all the unnecessary self flagellation that married people force you to, all the self improvement they pressure you to do, all their degradation of married people, And STILL not get married. And married people don’t understand that because their fears never came TRUE. They no longer relate, so they don’t get to speak about their privilege of non relating, to single people who DO. That is invalidating and belittling.

[@missNCW]

Single people aren’t invited to speak on marriage in groups of couples. Single people without children aren’t invited to be a part of a conversation on child rearing. so married people should have the same respect for single people, and not act like their opinion is the important one. It’s the same thing. Single people are excluded all the time. But in this conversation, married people want to intrude under the guise of ‘community’ or whatever. But that’s at the expense of single people who NEVER get to express their feelings and opinions without being shutdown by a person who married at 22 and has NO clue.

[@missNCW]

To add, single people focus more on God, so married people need to stop acting like the more Holy ones. Pathetic that they make single people feel inadequate when they proudly have worldly distractions and show off constantly. That’s the real idolatry.

[@missNCW]

They already come together, it’s called Church. Single people always get excluded and the conversation becomes a lecture. So no, they don’t need to come together. Married people need to stop excluding single people from every space they can, and making it about them and their self given authority to talk down to singles. The Church should be a place where singles feel equal, but they don’t. It’s not up to single people to come together with married people outside of Church. Married people need to let single people SPEAK and feel at home in the Church. They need to be quiet and have the HUMILITY to listen.