Am I Single Because I’m Defective?

[@Mel-gg3xg]

Some may say"why do singles make a big deal about marriage?" I say because married people make a big deal about marriage.

[@Mel-gg3xg]

There's in my case the vicious cycle of "I'm going to church but they always rub it in my face that I'm single yet tell me I need to be content in God first. So I pull away from church and then realize God's love for me. This wanting to focus on my relationship with God and knowing church is supposed to help with this. Then going to church only to feel depressed again that the pastor can't even mention anything pertaining to singleness and thus feeling alone sitting next to cuddley couples and failing again into dispair"

[@jameschasemaddox3037]

I feel you on this! Ugh. I hate it so so much.

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

I attend church but not for social reasons. Like most churches mine is made up largely of young couples and families! I come early and sit and meditate on the Lord! Then I stay while most people leave. The married members aren't mean, but they can't relate to singles. I worship and listen to sermons by myself. And I go home by myself to my apartment. They say Jesus is a better friend than any spouse. Spiritually yes, but socially that's why we are created for living in community!!

[@victortorres7314]

Thanks for sharing I think there’s lot of women like you

[@Anthony-yy3kc]

I am single because I am defective. I was sexually abused and humiliated as a child and never was able to develop interpersonal skills that would allow me to date and establish a relationship. So I am single for life and seek to learn about God more deeply. And I am glad to be living in celibacy as the thought of sexual relations is something I am very uncomfortable with!

[@mercymutai8268]

Hey you can find healing from God by choosing to forgive and no you are not defective you can live a new life with God and you will get married I commend you for choosing celibacy🎉

[@hamilton9651]

Yes I am defective. Not in the eyes of God but in this broken world due to serious abuse.

[@ItsRyRytheGuy]

32 and single, God has someone for us :)

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

He may not. We are not guaranteed marriage.

[@James5877]

Im 46 and still single, but would like to be married. It is encouraging to look at the life of Paul, who was single, and see how God used him in mighty ways. Life is short. Heaven is forever.

[@steventerry593]

Pastor Doug Wilson (as well as others) say that celibacy is a gift and that singleness is an affliction. The Church (more often than not) conflate the two, much to the detriment of single Christians. It was such a relief to finally hear a Christian leader honestly and compassionately address the injustice the church has perpetrated on singles (perhaps unknowingly) since as long as any of us can remember. I think a lot of single Christians eventually stop going to church not because they no longer enjoy worshiping God, but, because they've grown weary of the unintended subtle and incessant ostracization. After all, the church is the last place one wants to go to feel "alone in a crowd". One can't really blame the church because they really don't realize there's a problem. I don't know if it's allowed, but, here is a link to one of Pastor Wilson's short videos on the subject.... kzbin.info/www/bejne/bqa5XpSJl72Sosk

[@steventerry593]

Celibacy is a "gift". But, let's be honest, undesired singleness is an affliction. If one deeply desires to be married, they don't have the gift of celibacy as the Apostle Paul did. They have an undesired continual "affliction" like Paul had. While I might wish there were a different answer than the one God gave Paul in that circumstance, I'm inclined to believe it's the same. It would be a good thing however, if the Church would find it within itself to stop rubbing salt in the wounds of those so afflicted. They don't realize that most Christian singles grieve the loss of something they never had, sometimes on a daily basis. The grief is most pronounced on Sundays. For those who can't see the problem, imagine taking a really nice dish to a church potluck dinner and when the blessing has been said and it's time to eat, a leader comes over to you and tells you to go sit at a table apart from everyone else and that you aren't allowed to eat any of the food, you can only sit and watch everyone else eat all the delicious food while they are seemingly unaware that you are even present in the room, how would you feel? That is the best illustration/analogy I can draw to describe how many, if not, most Christians who are involuntarily single feel when they attend church. They aren't bitter towards or blame the church. They just have to acknowledge that is the reality of their situation, while "wondering why" offers no solace.

[@patriciatollison8655]

Being single when you don't want to be is just like you said, being always hungry. A hunger that goes on and on sometimes for many decades. There seems to be no hope of ever being satisfied. I know God is there but it doesn't help. It's an awfully longing that I cannot change and despite begging God on my knees for years and years He hasn't removed or lessend the desire. All I can do is try and make it through another day. I try not to think about the future because tomorrow will be just like the passed 61 years. I'm not impatient for a Christian mate but I don't have that much time left on this earth. 🙏

[@cathyhamlin3611]

I've been single for most of my life It can be challenging but it's true that singleness is a gift which most of my friends in church the majority have married sometimes I feel odd because well meaning people are shocked with the fact I've never married there is stigma attached to being celebate

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

I don't talk to my friends about my singleness. I just talk about life and living in the world. They know I'm single, but I don't discuss that with anyone.

[@shanpastaflocka]

I wish that was a satisfying answer. But it just doesn't feel right in my heart.

[@AP86777]

I know this feeling.

[@JB-kx9bx]

36M, divorced. I am glad I got to experience marriage even though it didn't work out. I feel for people that have never gotten to experience marriage or that kind of intimacy.

[@sibyv]

😢😢😢 yes its terribly heart breaking... In words i cannot explain 😢

[@johnz4328]

@@sibyvYes I know.

[@Moontess]

What a beautiful and pastoral answer indeed. Thanks Pastor John!

[@emmanuelmontoro2171]

I like his answer it was going somewhere but it just left the blame on God. I'm 43 and singleness is definitely not for me neither God has said to me "my Grace be sufficient the" unfortunately I have to say most of the problem is my faith in Jesus and the scripture and also I'm going to add this 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. We are wanting to be noticed but don't want to notice! We want to be loved but don't want to love! We want to be discovered but don't want to discover! We want a marriage, family and a home but like the apostle Paul is saying are we at least taking care of our selves? God isn't going to come brush our teeth, braid our hair, bathe us or put deodorant, we have to care for us the same way we would care for the love of our lives. Unfortunately no one has loved who I am, I'm always judged on my exterior and my possessions I get more rejection in the church and more attention and affection outside. All I can say is my tears don't seem to run out but my year's surely are, my prayers for everyone!

[@RayRay-nh8qd]

i got married at 46 its a lot hard for a man to get a women the for women to get a man i was shy thats why i got married late in life because the man must make the first move

[@lydiep6814]

This is a problem. Churches have an awful habit of equating holiness with a relationship status and this is totally wrong.

[@Mel-gg3xg]

Totally agree

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

Something like 60% of married Christian men watch porn. And 50% get divorced. Holiness is NOT a result of relationship status!

[@KC-fb8ql]

Did he really answer? Many people are single because of very practical unfortunate things. Perhaps obesity, social awkwardness, debilitating shyness, childhood trauma causing withdrawal from relationships, fear of repeating family history, simply not being attractive to the right person at the right time, past bad decisions, on and on. That could be considered ‘defective’ by many, even in the church. Of course, there are exceptions but no one is going to fix these things. In giving a hyper-spiritual perspective to the question I believe he ultimately didn’t answer at all.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

KC you are Right. He did not answer at all largely because he never states hard truths which might reduce donations and listener numbers. Your list is great and real and covers many of the "defects" that are keeping Christian women who wish to be married from getting married. However, where I disagree is that almost all of these defects are fixable if you try and get some help. (What is mostly keeping Christian men from getting married is lack of suitable, feminine, submissive Christian women and that is harder for them to fix.) So what is keeping this girl single? There are two main classes: The invisible and the visible but spoiled. From her question she is probably type 1, Invisible. Men suimple don't even see her. This also is the easiest to fix. I have glimpsed these in churches all over the country. They are mostly grossly overweight, vanishingly shy (partly because of the weight) and socially awkward if they get a chance. The answers is simple and direct if the married women of the church will take her in hand. Put her on a strict diet and exercise program and lose the linebacker that swallowed her whole. It may not be PC but it is 70-80% of the problem. Teach her some manners and social skills. No one is born with those just as no one is born fat. Cure the shyness by getting her set up on a safe mercy date or two (no sex), to break the ice. Teach her to flirt so guys know she is available. End her invisibility. Type 2 problems are harder but way more common today. (This was not the case 50 years ago.) These women look good and men notice them and approach but the stench of feminism is on them so thick that even a desperate Christian man with a cold cannot stand it any length of time. There is no femininity. Any mention of submission to a husband unleashes rage. They have a body count that rivals an Arnold Swartzenegger action film. And their attitude is just plain nasty. They may be towing several out of wedlock children and a student loan debt for a useless college degree they are not using that only Heracles could lift. Their attitude is almost totally divorced from reality, Some have waited until 45 or 50 to look and still somehow want children. I have met a whole lot of these "Christian" women amazingly still looking for a perfect husband. They won't settle and no man wants to settle near them. Some will trap a husband briefly and then be startled when that husband went out for a loaf of bread 20 years ago and never came back. This class was not born this way either but carefully brainwashed by American Socialist teaching. They can be fixed but first they have to realize they are broken and want to be fixed. Most still think God is obligated somehow to find them a husband. It is going to take serious deprogramming and retraining.

[@missNCW]

That simply isn’t true - you’ve made a list and think it applies to most or all people but it doesn’t. There are many reasons why a person might be single- you don’t know every person’s case. If you actually think about it, it’s very difficult to find a person who you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. That’s a commitment that needs to be taken seriously, of course you can’t just pick anyone. And because it is so difficult, not everyone is able to do it.

[@missNCW]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 what you’ve said is just misogynistic - you place all the blame on women because you’ve got all you popular talking points from the internet. You disagree with a Pastor who has been preaching longer than you’ve been alive and backs up everything he says with the Bible. But most of what y out said is about a woman’s weight. You don’t even really know what you’re talking about.

[@missNCW]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 neither of you even considered the fact that there are far less Christian men than women. But you expect women to just get married by losing weight. There are only 2 options according to your ‘Greta wisdom’. You’re basically accusing Pastor John of being a false teacher who is more interested in money, but you don’t tell us what your qualifications? Who are you to decide that the one reasons a woman can be single are her weight or her personality. Is it that simple. You’re not worried about if she’s actually Godly. You think that being skinny and submissive makes a woman marriage material. This is really sad and pathetic. You seem to think your opinions are backed up by facts but not once did you address the fact that there are simply less men, which will leave many women single. Even if they are perfect by your shallow standards. It’s Interesting that you don’t think it’s admirable that it’s the majority of the Church consists of women. And they birth and raise more Christians. But yeah blame women for everything because ***some*** happen to be feminists and some happen to be overweight. Someone’s weight doesn’t give you the right to criticise all women for being single. Being charismatic also does not guarantee you a husband.

[@missNCW]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 Where in the Bible does God tell women to be skinny at all, let alone to find a husband. And I weigh less than hand luggage so don’t even think you can look down on me for being obese. I’d make you look obese. Being overweight doesn’t make you broken nor does being a feminist make you think you’re ‘obligated to get a husband’. You look down on women and have these degrading opinions because you are a misogynist. Not all women are like this. You are extremely arrogant. Men do not go and buy a loaf of bread and disappear. They do abandon their wives and they will be judged for this. You seem to think it’s okay to blame women for everything. But real men do not do this. And God expects men to be real men. Good luck blaming everything on women when you meet Jesus. Those are excuses. Stop hating women. You are not God. You don’t get to look down on us. It’s you who is entitled, not women. Because you think you have all the answers for women. You are unqualified. You don’t get to say all women have a problem when you don’t even know what you’re talking about. Maybe think about the problems of men, since it’s men who have left the Church and do not follow Jesus like women do. Even without husbands, these women follow God. But you’re concerned about their weight- you think that is Godly??? Wowww. Because how dare a woman of God want a husband. You don’t criticise men for not being men of God, but you say women feel entitled to husbands just because they wants husbands. Women you think are perfect and deserve husbands, don’t deserve husbands. Because *no one* deserves marriage or any blessing. God gives them because He is good - but he looks at us all the same. ‘Grossly overweight’ or not. Shocking for you I’m sure, since you judge what women deserve by their body weight. And how well they speak. Not Biblically. You however think it’s fine for men to think God is obligated to give them quiet skinny wives, just because they’re men. Men aren’t entitled to submissive wives. Or anything. None of us are. But you have a double standard that makes you think men can judge women and what ‘type’ they are because men get to want marriage. They’re inherently good husbands but women need to be skinny first. If women didn’t want husbands you’d have a problem with that too. Women who aren’t Christians, you have a problem with too. But women of God who simple want but don’t demand a husband - you still have a problem with. Women of God are allowed to want husbands. Blame men for seeking worldly women and sleeping around and creating single parent families they don’t provide for. Stop blaming women who are celibate, seek the Lord and simply ask for a husband. There’s a difference between asking and thinking God is obligated. These women reasonably think they would be good wives because they are Godly and *try* to be good candidates for marriage. Unlike many men, and skinny women you think deserve husbands.

[@ramoth777]

Don't forget that there are eunuchs for God's Kingdom (Matthew 19:10-12). We are few and far between but we do exist.

[@luthermcgee432]

Unfortunately.

[@ramoth777]

@@luthermcgee432 What seems to be the problem?

[@luthermcgee432]

@@ramoth777 well, some eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven should have been given the gift of celibacy. Some people can do it, some can't. For the sake of obedience, some feel as if they had been forced into it. It's not easy to do so for half a century.

[@luthermcgee432]

@Tony Rowan , Agreed, Tony. Thanks! Even though there are many out there who believes that Jesus is enough, why did Paul say that not every man can live this kind of life. They are too young to understand: if they still feel that way say, in 20 years, then they have an argument. You are the only who understood. Jesus is the way of salvation, but, companionship is properly stated- " male and female created he them. Thanks again for your understanding.

[@luthermcgee432]

@Tony Rowan , agreed. Because I've reflected the gospel for half a century, I have many enemies. Jesus even said in the last days, " your enemies shall be of your own household..." So, it's not new to me. But, as a draftsman, I've traveled the United States drawing, just for fun floor plans of every important major building except the " old executive office building" in Washington DC. The mathematics, vector lines, and the right angles help to stabilize my mentality. And my cousin being a minister, wants me to draw the 7 angels of the apocalypse.

[@dz7a756]

In singleness, there is an undivided devotion to the Lord that is not hindered by marriage (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). I know when you are struggling with singleness, you think that may not be helpful...but it is. God's word and promises are true. He knows how to love us like no other and how to fill up the empty spaces we may be feeling. We just have to let Him. At the end of this video, John Piper stated there awaits you (singles) experiences with Jesus that no one else will have. I want to encourage anyone struggling with singleness that this is true here on earth...not just in eternity. I am a witness to this 😊. Be well and be at peace.

[@johnz4328]

What are these experiences? Can you explain further?

[@Christm57]

Feel exactly like Rebekah

[@jillphilips3788]

It Is Written Ask And You Will Receive. In John 16:25 .

[@wiggelpuppy5474]

True, but if I ask for money, I might be answered with what I seek, I seek more money an appetite for greed. If I ask for a mate I might receive an insatiable desire for other people. Seeking things and asking for things is less than seeking and asking for God. His kingdom first, the rest will be added later. You can’t trick God into giving you a Ferrari.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Jill, That is not John 16:25 I think you mean Mat 7:7. How about the rest of the verse? Seek and you will find. It is hard to find what you are not actively looking for. God does not sponsor home delivery of husbands even during Covid. Are you looking in the right places? Are you willing to become a submissive Christian wife following her husband's leadership as God's anointed leader in the family as it states in Eph 5:22-33 instead of trying to run things? If not, why should you have a husband to abuse and dishonor? Have you taken the trouble to keep yourself fit and attractive with what God gave you? Are you willing to accept what God places in your path or do you insist on perfection? There are plenty of of good Christian men out there looking for submissive, reasonably attractive and sane Christian wives and not finding them despite active looking. I know, because I am one of them.

[@jillphilips3788]

John Breitmeier God Bless Our Holy Lord Yesshua Christ Jesus Father And Holy Spirit Each New Day Never The Less. Matthews 7:7 .

[@nancydb1390]

Sometimes God says no.

[@jamespython5147]

No one ever told me that God would deliberately, consistently, mockingly, cruelty deny prayer, BUT this is the very essences of God's being, and causing sorrow and disappointment is as the air is for us for existence. Be warned.

[@hamilton9651]

Not sure where you are going with this statement. Be careful about accusing God of cruelty!

[@BruceJC75]

There’s nothing helpful or consoling anyone can say. If you’re single and don’t want to be, it sucks, and God doesn’t care.

[@johnz4328]

I think God cares a great deal but it is the job of people who are able in the church to help and they are simply unconcerned.

[@BruceJC75]

@@johnz4328 The church is just people concerned about their own lives just like anyone else in the world. If there’s blame to lay, I lay it with myself. I’m not married cause I stuck around and enabled incompetent family members instead of leaving at 18 and making a life for myself. Now I’m almost 37, just waiting on people to die so I can move on with my life. Nobody to blame but me. I’m not looking for sympathy from anyone, especially not God.

[@johnz4328]

@@BruceJC75 I think we have a similar situation.

[@danstone8783]

I am not just defective and unlovable but ugly as well.

[@AurynFalkor]

I feel the same way. It hurts. And... there’s no choice other than God. Eternal damnation is not a choice. God says He loves us, but don’t actions speak louder than words? His claim of loving me seems false, because I can’t feel His love. We must love God and thank Him for our lives and do our best to bring glory to Him. I’m a 41 year old virgin. I’ve never been on my first date and I have not had a friend in 20 years. I’m housebound because of: OCD, body dysmorphic disorder, morbid obesity, social anxiety, bathing anxiety, mild fecal incontinence, and treatment resistant clinical depression. At this point I would be fine with God causing me to fall down a flight of concrete stairs; if it meant I would meet my future wife in the hospital. I really hope you feel better than me about your life. Maybe I’m the man with no feet that makes you feel better about having feet, but no shoes. I know I’m coming across as ungodly, and I’m sorry for that, but tonight I will pray for you with all my heart. If I can have no joy or love; I will pray and plead with God to give you that which He may never give me. I pray God blesses you.

[@xkalibur9639]

Auryn Falkor God does love you. Joseph waited 14 years, Moses waited 40 years, Abraham was in his old age, David had to run away in the wilderness, don’t mistake present circumstances for God’s absence. Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.

[@wiggelpuppy5474]

Me too, but I still strive to do good. Eternity is a long time, just have to endure till the end.

[@danstone8783]

@@wiggelpuppy5474 Ready to go to eternity any time now.

[@AlexandraNMorgan]

"The Lord looketh not on the outward appearance, the Lord looketh on the heart." If the Lord looks at us that way, we need to try to look at each other that way.

[@guitarsz]

Beautiful! Amen

[@DD-pv2jl]

The “profound & wonderful help” that the speaker mentions MUST come from The Lord, because it certainly does not come from The Church or the married people in the church. It seems that only married people refer to singleness as a gift.

[@johnz4328]

I hear you. I simply do not believe that there isn’t much more the church could do to help singles but just will not for lack of real concern for the issue occasional gift talk is so much simpler.

[@dolphinrose21]

Got really confused with this reply ...and comments are even more debatable ...I think the church especially the men in church have really overlooked this matter and so give such replies ...usually widows and older single people are overlooked Many traditional families feel it's not good to be single and will judge those who choose to be single and do not require a physical relationship either, they might have received the gift to be single and do not need to be pitied or judged. But that's a small category. There is the category of those who want to be married but are unable to due to various reasons and these feel outcasted and judged by society. Church can help them to find their partners through prayer and practically too. It is a need that God has to meet eventually.

[@DeanaJacksonFrazier]

What Piper fails to mention is that being married to someone, without God, can destroy your spouse spiritually. If your spouse is a carnal or lukewarm Christian, or even more so, an unbeliever; your attempts to win them Christ by being an example and encouraging them to draw closer to God; may lead to them despising you and rejecting God. They may become lost because they were never truly ready for a truly saved spouse and had no idea of the pressure put on them to be truly saved. Therefore, you can make your spouse reject Christ if you are a godly influence. But what may likely also happen is your spouse may draw you into carnality if they are a carnal Christian; or into sin if they are an unbeliever. This will eventually ruin your testimony for Christ, and again, cause your spouse to reject God when they see a so- called Christian sinning. Thus, many Christians in the comments, are only seeking a spouse because of themselves- their loneliness, their emptiness, their pain. And they may be tempted to risk their relationship with God to make themselves happy. But what about your spouse? If God doesn't ordain the marriage, you can cost them their soul and be the deciding factor of why they end up in hell. What a terrible feeling! Now, God allows for marriages to stay together if a couple is already married and one becomes a believer but if one is single then they should remain that way until God provides a spouse. To do otherwise may damn yourself; but even worse, the one you dearly love, your spouse. You do not want this on your conscience. Also, what is ironic is that you may end up single anyway. Your spouse may leave because they may reject the pressure to be saved if you are a godly spouse. Or you may have to leave because of repeatedly being drawn into lukewarmness or sin if you are not a godly spouse. Therefore, single Christians should be content to be single because you can ruin someone else's life and soul. It is not all about you. This is from someone who ignored God, got married, and had a terrible 10 year marriage. My husband is still unsaved and may now never seek God because of my ungodly behavior by being drawn into sin. I also terribly hurt my relationship with God in the process. And end the end I am now single which is what God asked of me in the first place. I deeply regret this and wish I would have been content in Christ alone.

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

That's a pretty terrible thing that someone you love can end up in Hell because of your faith turning them away from God. I am currently unmarried and, that risk being the case, definitely plan on remaining single permanently!

[@jillphilips3788]

God Bless

[@MantaAugh]

What if somewone want a spouse in her life more then God alone, that makes her still verry lonely and don't whant to life on but stop living what then. That's the real question from lonely people. What's life worth if you can't accept life whitout romance from a spouse like everyone else is aloud to have in life and love (WHAT THEN) ????

[@jessicanelson4038]

I’m with you on that! I want to be desired so bad, and John Piper speaks truth, but it doesn’t change how I feel sometimes. I will say that there are seasons in which it makes me very depressed, and in those times, I will look at myself in the mirror and say “I am desirable!” about 3 times. Over time, I start to believe it. I’ll pass by the mirror and say “wow I look good today!”

[@patriciatollison8655]

Exactly

[@tessalogan586]

YES

[@jamespython5147]

The fact is, is that everything and everyone is just pawns and toyd to God for him to do with as he pleases. His (glory) is more important than his (love). That's why billions are going to hell, and Christians are made to suffer in this life.

[@oaklandsoldier8520]

This is simple. Im single because im a 38 year old obese black man with high functioning autism Aspergers and social anxiety. Im involuntary single due to those factors.

[@pablohernandez1989]

I don't understand why he says this girl's singleness is a mystery if he doesn't even know her. Maybe she's pretty but isn't great at carrying herself in an appealing fashion with the opposite sex? Maybe she just doesn't understand attraction very well? Maybe she is attractive but never figured out how to be successful in romantic relationships? These are legitimate concerns and Pastor John doesn't even seem to take them as possibilities! He immediately has to appeal to divine mystery. Maybe Pastor John is incapable os seriously considering possibilities such as these because of his theological biases. I'm very curious to see if he can give a response other than mystery. In most cases it isn't.

[@zelda0521]

maybe because no one expects John Piper to answer with fashion or banter advice? The whole podcast is meant for analyzing the theological and spiritual realities of our circumstance, and that's what listeners and question askers are expecting

[@pablohernandez1989]

My point of disagreement here is that theological/spiritual realities aren't as transcendant as they are portrayed in situations such as this one. I don't see good reason or scriptured to think that God being sovereign entails so much mystery in practical matters- such as relationships.

[@christopherepperson3328]

pablo hernandez Well Pablo, one man recently brought up, "God doesn't tell you who to marry, look for God given principles." Which was really good for me to hear. Then the tendency is to think that God doesn't do anything in my life or at least to my knowledge. Is that biblical? Absolutely not, so God does interact with us, classic Calvinist vs. Arminian arguments and both are biblical. So that's why John said it the way he did, as a virgin myself I can find no fault in John Piper's line of reason, why should you? I find your behavior towards John a little disturbing on a sensitive topic.

[@pablohernandez1989]

Christopher Epperson It's nothing against him personally. I have a lot of respect for him, even if I don't agree with everything he says. I don't think disagreements should be misinterpreted as personal attacks.

[@Moontess]

I don't think that was the point of Pastor John's answer. Even if she might be deemed unattractive by some people or that she might be 'clumsy' in attraction, it that has nothing to do with her 'cherishability'. I think Pastor John was responding to the pain that is evident in her question and pointing her to God, who will always be her source of comfort and hope.

[@tranesethehairstylist]

I hate that he uses Paul or in another video the example of eunuchs to explain to a WOMAN how to deal with singleness! In every other aspect of the church there is a differentiation between men and women. We all know that men can often choose singleness and don’t seek after relationships in the same way women do (the curse of Eve) so WHY does he keep using examples that don’t apply to WOMEN?!

[@creatioexnihilo1075]

The examples from Scripture are not limited to application for a single gender, they can apply equally to both (unless otherwise stated). For example, when Jesus tells Martha that her sister has chosen what is better, we can reasonably assume that the same truth (Jesus > the worries of life) would hold for men as well.

[@creatioexnihilo1075]

Paul also addresses churches in his letters, which would include both men and women. Not just men.

[@tabletmaster291]

Your 20s and complaining about being single sheesh hahaha

[@angloaust1575]

A risky venture marriage After watching the crown Charles and diana were pressurised Into it Best to operate on a one to one basis Without outside interference

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

So just because two royal brats who were not following God's rules for marriage couldn't get along we should chuck a God-ordained institution that has worked well for thousands of years?? Reall?

[@jamespython5147]

Only those suffering singleness can see what God is truly like, and they know that he is particularly cruel.