A Conversation With My Brother About His Suicide Attempt

My Brothers Instagram: @jessecalvillo

[@yeaokaysure]

He’s describing survivors guilt. It’s a very real thing. Glad he’s still around. Hopefully he can get help for that.

[@colder8741]

Hopefully you can learn effort is a determined attempt and it shouldn't be associated with suicide and failed crimes.

[@fijardim7]

@@colder8741 ????

[@BEACHDUDE71]

Hopefully he doesn't get to the same place

[@yeaokaysure]

This is incredibly brave of him to talk about. And good of you to share it. Proud of you both.

[@moutardeaunez1949]

@@lau77771hh they are HUMAN and alive, and that's a lot ;-)

[@mid-ohioguardian6927]

ROTFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@mid-ohioguardian6927]

ROTFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@N3isfree]

💯💯

[@michaelfreakinlima16]

Brandon please hug your brother often and try to be there for him even more.

[@Maria-hg1yd]

He’s 100% still here for a reason

[@TheFracturedfuture]

What reason?

[@lavenderlady7441]

b⁶​@@TheFracturedfuture

[@Red84Fox]

I lost my brother to an overdose two years ago… and I’m sure it was a purposeful overdose… listening to Jesse’s story is heartbreaking but also slightly comforting bc I feel like I was getting an insight into what was going through my brothers head. A twisted sense of closure. I miss him every day and I wish he had come out on the other side. Love to you and Jesse.

[@ProMrLecoq01]

I wish you much love and respect for sharing this story and recovering from your loss

[@spectator6964]

Hey Virgina. I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for having the courage to speak about your story. I hope you are feeling better.

[@mid-ohioguardian6927]

No you lost your brother because he didn`t have any morals !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@PineappaPres14]

@@mid-ohioguardian6927 What do you even mean by that???

[@mid-ohioguardian6927]

@@PineappaPres14 Just what I said.

[@shootfrick]

I hope he’s okay. Strong people make jokes and laugh though the pain. So I just hope that he’s actually okay. I hope he has a better support group around him now. I hope he has people he can go to in his weakest moments.

[@bexchick]

I’m glad he’s still here, and I hope he’s doing okay.

[@amypennebacker4941]

He's got a great spirit about him. I see a bright future ahead of him.

[@AlexxWoodwick]

I’m only 4 minutes into the video but I want to take a moment to pause here and just say thank you to you & your brother for being open and sharing with the world today. Addiction & suicide are pretty heavy topics that can not always be easy to talk about however I do think these NEED to be talked about. I am at now where your brother was at in his story and I’m sure there are many others who needed to here this today ♥️🖤🤍

[@bombuniverse1578]

mental health in general is very stigmatized all over the world. It truly sucks that mental illness isn’t being treated enough

[@pimvz]

involve him into your vids man. He has such a great character and would 100% give a good vibe in tour vids. + it would open up some good options in his life

[@keljells]

Beautiful soul inside, but still such sad eyes. Chronic pain (physical and emotional) takes such a toll. You’re loved, never forget that. Keep fighting man. ❤️

[@ShyAnn291]

Chronic pain is awful, I deal with it every single day!

[@N3isfree]

💯

[@desertrataz3774]

I lost my brother to suicide. He used a freight train. It happened years ago and wrecked my family. I still miss him terribly. You are so lucky to still have your brother. Hug him often and let him know you love him. I still hear my brother's laugh in my dreams. Rest in peace John Boy 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@ftsbowling7387]

I’m so sorry for your loss I hope your doing better❤️

[@ryancee7]

When you were trying to respond to him being here while others didn't make it, I don't know if that's god or a miracle, I'm not religious but he should give himself some credit because he's strong. I think he wanted to be here, that's why he fought through it so well. People pulling through addictions are some of the strongest people ever. Good for him and I hope he gets where he wants to be in life. Been watching you guys since Vine.

[@inpeterskitchen]

well said 🙏🏽

[@snxlxphant09]

This

[@davidpanek7646]

I’m an addict going into rehab in a few days glad I listened to this thank you for putting this out

[@elindsp]

Hang in there, I was in your spot in 2017. You'll get there. It's a bumpy road but you'll have your life back

[@mushroom_michi]

Good luck brother.

[@gachas.4673]

Sending you positive vibes. You've got this! 💪

[@rosheezy]

Good for you for getting treatment/a way out-- keep going you can do this

[@dr.inkwell1070]

11:31

[@AEHELLO]

he's a smart dude and self-aware, to share his story with us takes great courage, I hope the surgery goes well.

[@stephanie7142]

Survivors guilt is very real. I hope he can come to terms with that and find a purpose in some way. Maybe it’s sharing his story. Maybe it’s just establishing a normal life. But I wish him the best in his recovery.

[@shayt543]

Drug addictions are no joke man, they ruin more lives then anything. I'm glad he is here, keep him close. Drugs addiction is always going to be there unfortunately... but the support around him will help him fight his battles!❤❤❤❤Keep strong there is way more to life! Be an inspiration to others ❤❤❤

[@may-bc8sx]

he seems so kind, i’m glad he’s still here

[@dianaandrea7160]

The strength it takes to talk about his trauma on such a large platform it's insane. So happy he is still here today and hopefully this will help other people struggling.

[@stephaniemeza3618]

Glad he’s still here ❤️ this was incredibly brave of him. And this is probably one of many reasons why he’s still here. This talk it’s self could be life changing for someone. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@selinamarieabele8646]

baby boy you are loved, don't ever hurt yourself again please, the world needs more angels like you

[@morganperrone2972]

I hope Jesse’s surgery went well today! He really deserves some happiness and to be pain free! He’s such a good dude.

[@tiffanykjudge]

What a strong guy... I hope he has forgiven himself and sees what a true hero he is to so many to be able to share his story .. addicts especially when it comes to heroine are overlooked aren’t given enough credit for overcoming their pasts. I’m glad he’s alive and wishing him the all the best and support for his future

[@mid-ohioguardian6927]

ROTFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@AlexxWoodwick]

I truly hope your brother finds his spark whatever it may be , just something that lights a fire within him and gives him a burning passion and puts a twinkle back in his eyes. I wish I could show your brother the love he deserves and spoil him for a while.

[@alicjaszczepkowska]

he has the most contagious smile. hope his surgery went well because there is no doubt that he is here for a reason

[@liaespinal5330]

Why is this comforting to watch? I love having meaningful/ helpful conversations in a long car ride. Thank you for sharing! These are the conversations that are worth capturing!

[@somewhereImNot999]

When the first thing someone thinks is Dogs when someone says “Happyland has…” you know they’re a good person at heart

[@JaydaCaaattt]

i hope his surgery today went well. been watching you both since vine days.

[@kimwright6292]

I’m so proud of him for getting clean. ❤️

[@pearlhouse6464]

Jesse was one of my favourite viners. Something about him I really really like. So sad to hear about his struggles with addiction, but thank you for sharing - so brave. I hope that things are better and stay that way.

[@sarahcarlson1077]

Thank you for sharing this, Brandon, SERIOUSLY! THIS is the story of an addict, it controls your life. So many people don't understand or care to understand. Thank you for wanting to understand and caring for your brother. ❤️

[@sarahcarlson1077]

When he said you wake up and feel like your brain had been melted by a blow torch, I've never related to something more.

[@wsm5596]

He is definitely here among us for a reason and because he deserves to live a happy life. I wish him all the best from the bottom of my heart ♥️

[@andreapenney1996]

i hope hes doing better now :(

[@kimmyariana2870]

I’ve always loved his brother, since the vine days. But I could always tell he had something inside him hurting. I’m so sorry you had to go through this and we’re all happy you’re here

[@leinaamatsuji-berry561]

It’s already a beautiful thing to have had this conversation but it was exceptionally generous for both of you to decide to share it. All love to both of you, and rooting for a smooth surgery and speedy recovery 💕

[@casja]

I really hope Jesse can get some professional help for his survivor's guilt. It is clear that he is still struggling intensely with it and that type of guilt is a silent, internal killer. I also notice a lot of his mannerisms, the dark jokes and contemplative body language, and then he masks with a laugh and humour. I struggled with a lot of similar feelings/experiences and I now work as a Crisis Responder on a suicide hotline; speaking from my own experience with mental health, and now experience helping other suicidal individuals, using humour to lighten a really dark thought (25:05) is a cry for help. I don't mean to over-analyze but it seems that Jesse is still very much at risk and struggling internally with purpose/will to live. He's a very strong guy, I pray it all mends in time and with some help, praying for him sincerely.

[@DJCharmstrong]

Please keep an eye on your brother. He is definitely still wrapped up in his addiction.

[@teaganorourke4868]

it was over 10 years ago if you listened

[@caradillon235]

@@teaganorourke4868 if you listened he took stuff in 2019, addiction is ongoing journey to consistently work on

[@roseybennett6839]

Wow. His story is amazing. He said I came through like a cockroach 😂😂😂 I hope very genuinely that his life continues to improve and he can find happiness because he really deserves it ... Use that survivors guilt as a tool to live a good life the way that his friends that's didn't make it ... Can't ... Live for them ... His survival is a miracle ... Please keep us posted on him 🙏

[@allyjojo3]

Oh my heart. I wish him nothing but the best and a life of happiness. I can see the pain in his eyes and in his words. You have a reason. You are here for a reason. I hope you find it.

[@nissabonney6767]

“Pills kill people” made me cry. I’m glad he’s doing better.

[@justsaying9456]

Its so sad how many people can relate to this video in someway...

[@TheNicholasCaprio]

As you know, I adore your brother and I have so much respect that he chooses to continue to play the game and stay around. Thank you, and him. for making this video.

[@crazedcat09]

Jesse you are incredibly strong to go through what you’ve been through and still be sat there able to tell your story. Keep doing what you are doing, I can see it getting better for you. Don’t give up, you are worth fighting for.

[@toanaboogegefrancis7221]

Hope he's doing better.

[@ct0416864]

This is so impactful! Thank you to you but especially your brother for being so candid.

[@mevebelanger]

"You tried to off yourself" "Yeah" 😁 👍

[@pinkaliciousxxx]

This was an incredible video. I send much gratitude to your brother for being so honest and being vulnerable about his story to your following online. Addiction is something that always feels impossible to overcome, but to be someone who gets through it is not only inspiring for the majorities but is something that brings relief to everyone that surrounds that person. This conversation was incredibly important to show those who are going through similar things. I appreciate how understanding and supportive you were to allow your brother to share his story with little to no judgement. Thank you for sharing, and I wish your brother a continuous, healthy recovery as well as a long and fulfilled life post surgery.

[@kkk2370]

I really fell in love with his vulnerability, whatched cherry last night and reminded me a lot of it. Im glad he's still alive

[@bombuniverse1578]

it’s super sad and heartbreaking what drug/alcohol addictions do to someone, my dad struggled with alcoholism for years before seeking help, I also had an uncle who was arrested for doing drugs

[@joshuatmyers]

Thank you to your brother for sharing his experience and you for using this platform and your following to shine light on the struggles and epidemic of addiction. I’m glad your brother is okay and able to tell his story to help those that are still out there struggling.🖤

[@Kate-ir7hz]

So good to hear from people in recovery as an addict myself I understand

[@kellyofearth2092]

I listened to the other conversation with his brother very regularly since it came out. The subject matter was so dark too but somehow it always cheered me up and calmed me down. Twisted world where his existence pulled me out of shitty dark places but he's so unhappy himself. Wish he could feel the light and hope he's given me and surely plenty of other people. He deserves all the love and happiness for himself.

[@ayyyyylmao9517]

This hurts my heart. Be grateful to have him still. My friends brother died by suicide. It was so heartbreaking to see the emotions my friend went through. His sister in law, his girlfriend, his parents, his nieces. So so so heartbreaking.

[@jessilynn4952]

Huge part of why you're here is to share this story bro. You helped me today. I'm struggling and you and your brothers channel and this video, YOU'RE STORY. Helped me stay sober today. Thank you. And also, we're not meant to know. I should be dead too but im not, all my friends are. I'm still here. When i ask myself why, the only thing I know is, I'm here for a reason. I keep pushing to hopefully know what that reason is. But one day at a time. It's about being in the moment. Sending so much love. Thank you 🙏🙏

[@Annie-vj8gt]

Aw Jesse I love you! You’re an angel and that’s why you’re still here ♥️ Praying that life gets so much better for you and the bad thoughts and memories are a thing of the past. Brandon, thank you for doing this, Jesse probably needed it too, you were quiet for the important parts and made him laugh when he needed it. This brotherly love is strong! ♥️

[@felixhunter1088]

The comparison from this video to the one from early 2019 is extremely positive. Hope the surgery goes well👍🙌

[@HighDefinition81695]

You have to live life for all those you have lost. That’s why you’re still here!🤘🏾

[@Kristakat23]

Jesse you're here for a reason! You just helped so many people! I wish you the best!

[@josieT863]

just let him know that he has our support and that hope he gets better.

[@maddyproud4663]

Having lost a dear friend to suicide, this is an important opportunity to understand the mindset and in a way get personal closure. This is an important video. Thank you for making this 🕊

[@taylordavis6847]

Hes really special and here for a reason. I see such a smart guy and potential in him. He's been through a lot so baby steps but he'll find his happiness one way or another.

[@phildicarlo2526]

God bless you man! I understand what it's like to have PTSD. The things you can experience as an addict can be so extreme and violent. As a heroin addict for 13 years at one point in my life and a person with PTSD I understand the pain your brother goes through. I will have two years clean August 16th my life is so much better now. I pray for your brother man I really do cuz he seems really really depressed, and he's got a lot more going on than he is alluding to.. also, if living one day at a time is what it takes to stay clean and that's awesome I can honestly say there were times in my recovery where I had to live an hour at a time a minute at a time you know, and it gets you through.. So, he knows what he's doing.. you just got to keep in contact with him no matter what and always give him support.

[@user-sf5sv2hk8v]

I just am across this in August of 2024, thank you for sharing and I truly hope that you’re still doing well. God bless❤ you

[@Guntherjadyn]

i swear one day it’s going to hit you why you’re here and you’re going to be so grateful bestay

[@justmelissa7010]

He reminds me of my nephew who just turned 21 and I am constantly worried about him. I can see right through him when he talks to me. I hope he is on the right path now as he just came out of rehab. I pray for his brother 🙏🏻

[@beccamiller4803]

Thank you for your sharing story. It took me a long time to get over my survivor's guilt after going into recovery. One thing I have learned is to live for the people who are not here anymore. I feel like sharing my story is a way of keeping my friend's memories alive. And one day I hope you can find peace with yourself knowing that God wills things for a reason, and you are here on earth to your story. God Bless!

[@jbugross]

Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼 You’re here now for a reason, to help people, and hopefully keep people from going through what you went through. I’m also an addict and whether we are clean or sober we’re always an addict and you have an amazing soul and spirit and it shows through. Much love my friend ❤️

[@TheStarwarslover92]

I've watched you guys since vine. You guys are awesome. I'm sorry that Jesse has had to go through all this. I'm glad he here and I hope things just keep better from here. For him and you Brandon. ❤️

[@canadianchick888yazz]

Jesse thank you for sharing your story. You're incredibly brave and please know that we are all rooting for you and here to support you. You've got this!

[@jennywashburn4536]

Thank you so much for sharing this Brandon and Jesse. Jesse, I’m so glad you’re still here. :) I hope your surgery went well. Shoulder and arm injuries are a bitch.

[@alliemik]

Vine fan here also! We love you Jessie (sp? Lol) I recently lost someone rlly close to me from a heroin overdose and I’m so proud of your bravery to speak on this. I know I speak for many when I say I’m so glad you’re still here. We’ve all got some figuring out to do and there’s not shame in that. You’re in good hands bb boy keep ya chin up king!

[@cowboyspit2230]

I loved your brother on vine, I always think about him and wonder where he went. I wish him well on his healing journey, sending luv

[@ThePaulel]

Great video, takes a lot of balls to have this convo. Hope the future treats you better

[@ashlynngonzalez1064]

Thank you for telling your story. In my opinion you lived so you could help others by telling it. Keep on trucking, much love ❤️

[@kimbermac5980]

You’re worthy of living a great life. You’re a gorgeous young man with so much to offer. This is the start of your life. What you’ve been through is just a lesson on where you don’t want to be. Surround yourself with the people who love you and I’m sure there’s more people than you realise. I’m a stranger and I am so proud of you you’re in my thoughts. Stay strong. 😘 xx

[@morganking5594]

I missed these. So good… Glad he’s still here.

[@amberimmel1887]

You are both amazing. I really appreciate your real talks and educational videos... I tried to "commit" a little over a yr ago and my sister had to help me bandage my wrists and it was bad. She put be back together but wouldn't and wont talk about it and I love her but the one thing I need is for us to communicate. This is wonderful to see such support and interest, and the urge to understand at least what mindset... I'm very happy to see you two talking real.... keep an eye on the survivors guilt🧡🖤

[@arianna6806]

The memory of your friends and family live on through you. Live life to the fullest.

[@zmarcusberry]

I’ve really missed this series man. Happy to see you both!!

[@jorm1652]

dude, me and this guy would be best friends if we ever met, i relate to him as a person and his experiences to an unbelievable degree. i’ve lived in orange county my whole life so i’m honestly surprised i’ve never met him in NA meetings or anything like that lol

[@SinsationalTelisa]

I'm a Recovering Addict and lost my Cousin/Brother to an OD 3 years ago. Thank you for sharing. This is a real disease and it doesn't discriminate. Sending Positive Healing Vibes and Lots of Love & Light to you. 🖤

[@kimwright6292]

He’s so cute! I love his smile too

[@laurarebimbas6071]

Couple thoughts … 1) he’s talking about survivors guilt - heard of that before. Maybe talking to someone or a group could help? 2) maybe taking it one day at a time will help him to stick around so that he can have a future 3) I’m so glad he’s still here and I can’t wait to see a future episode with him!! Sending much love ❤️

[@EricDavis-iw7hj]

there are days n hours where i want to die and feel like i cant make it anymore, i have ptsd iv never used drugs before but i constantly ask why nothing has gone the way it should, jobless and single. When nothing goes right for years it hits you, iv been at rock bottom for 8 years and have not had any answer.

[@phoebeb.332]

Something has got to give. I’m so sorry. Hang in there. If you’re at a bottom, only way is up, right?

[@margojohannsen5436]

As someone with bpd this is very relatable, glad he is still here and I hope he is doing better now

[@biscoffology]

one of your best vids. both of you are awesome and I wish you all the success in the world in whatever you guy end up doing :)

[@WillowLilly3]

God knew it wasn’t time for him to leave yet❤️

[@AyebeeeHelmss]

I really enjoyed this content when you use to make it. Glad to see you again.

[@lady.eidolon]

I hope he’s doing alright. My little brother took his life 2 years ago.

[@jonquist9950]

I was also a heroin addict. And I also tried to end it, with heroin & xanax. His story sounds very similar to mine. Glad he's still here.

[@BeeTeePee]

Glad you're still here.

[@omgurheadsgone]

😢

[@pammyjams7529]

This is an important and real conversation, that must be extremely difficult to share. Thank you so much for your honesty. I lost my stepdad to addiction. I was so angry at him at the time, but after learning more from others who share has taught me to be more understanding of the pain he was going through. Thank you again for this.

[@jenjensheshe]

Love you and everything you do 👊🏻

[@sonyabuskirk1526]

Both of them are struggling, and they really need help. You guys are amazing content creators, I'm one of the first people to follow you guys on vine. I really hope you get the help you both need

[@celinegarcia9351]

I have no words other than thank you for sharing your story...very lucky to be alive right now..you have a chance right now to save not only yourself but so many of us and our loved one..THANK YOU

[@chelseaputnam4456]

So proud of your brother! So proud!

[@llllllllll9577]

Oh my gosh this needed to be talked about thank you so much for being real with us this topic is not spoken about

[@acies9408]

this was hilarious and also pretty enlightening. Take care

[@Kristakat23]

I appreciate your brother's story. Thanks for doing this Brandon!

[@teresan8223]

You’re still alive Bc you were meant to tell this story! You’re so raw and human and it’s just so beautiful!

[@sebastiancervera3950]

This was a ver raw, honest and funny conversation. Thank you both for sharing