A Critique Of Jurassic World Dominion - A Crime Against Humanity

[@haydenmcanally7326]

"Up to 32 deaths per year" really caught me off guard. hippos kill 300 per year and you're telling me dinosaurs killed 1/10 of that?!

[@holidaytheraptor6567]

checks out tbh. dinosaurs are probably too stressed to adapt to focus on killing people. Also, we dont exactly taste good.

[@Ridcally]

I guess we're not far from hippos taking over

[@grzegorzswist]

Maybe they meant per movie?

[@dawid3517]

Hippos are overall some of the deadliest animals on the planet and there's probably more of them than the Dinosaurs in the Jurassic world I'd compare Dinosaurs to something like tigers that aren't that numerous and probably behave more similarly to a T-Rex Tigers kill less than 10 people a year and even when they were much more common the yearly death count was around 50

[@hendrong]

What's wrong with that number? There are like, what, a thousand dinosaurs in the world, many of them completely harmless. There are well over a hundred thousand hippos in the world.

[@rustyshackleford5288]

That clip of Homelander watching on with complete disdain as Chris Pratt on a horse chases down a dinosaur with a rope was absolutely perfect🤣

[@Spinosaurus44]

Time stamp please 😂

[@rustyshackleford5288]

5:24

[@ZeusTheMatti]

Well that was how i watch the whole movie rly... and like he said in the video. That fight sceen in the end almost gave me AIDS

[@anubusx]

Where is that shitting scene from.

[@eh2396]

Lol yeah he was all of us in that movie theater.

[@marcosrecio4062]

I like how the clone lived isolated with two american parents for years and somehow has a thicker english accent

[@AC-hj9tv]

"Oi bruv yew got any tea guvna"

[@hendrong]

IKR, she should have a French accent, since they filled the gaps with frog DNA.

[@chasehedges6775]

I feel bad for the actress tho, Isabella Sermon. She did her best in spite of the horrible material (or lack thereof) she had. I hope she gets more roles in better films

[@dr.calibrations7984]

BLIMEY!!

[@chasehedges6775]

@@dr.calibrations7984 💯

[@astropictures4396]

Genuinely, one of the most depressing finales to a franchise ever. Not depressing like Logan, where the narrative earned its gut-punching moments, but depressing in the sense that this was meant to be a big grand finale, yet it felt like every single opportunity was wasted in favour of pointless and misguided adventure that lead no where by the end. Also great video btw

[@coffeebean_tamer]

It systematically managed to out stupid itself with each installment.... 😂😂😂 Only way this could've ended properly is humanity being wiped by a asteroid, poetic justice!

[@animezilla4486]

I enjoyed it

[@TheBananermanThefirst]

The movie to me felt like it was missing character buildment and it just was a cash grab of a movie

[@taterboob]

I had to nope out at Fallen Kingdom, because it was so bad. I can't even imagine how bad this one is. I even own it, and I can't even bring myself to waste the time watching it.

[@Ray-c1r]

Star wars sequels ?

[@lasersailor184]

The most disappointing part was that the girl was told that her genetics could help cure MILLIONS of their diseases around the world, and she was just like, "Nope, cya!" Not even a pause. Not even a consideration if he was telling the truth. Not even a consideration of why she was so wanted.

[@neo-filthyfrank1347]

"OMG dood not even an ethical consideration?? Omg ethics!!!! OMG I watch movies so I can circlejerk about my conventional morality!!!"

[@TiagrajI]

It was so dumb. They get dinos from genetic tinkering and the one answer is that odd girl??? That's lazy writing

[@thebookless3381]

​@@neo-filthyfrank1347 being a contrarian isnt a personality, grow a pair kid

[@neo-filthyfrank1347]

@@thebookless3381 Your pseudo-maturity is just your attempt to rationalize your massive mental dependence on others. Either way you don't even understand what's going on in the conversation.

[@thebookless3381]

@@neo-filthyfrank1347 no it's an attempt at tilting you, well not an attempt, since it worked...

[@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120]

Just to note: The dinosaurs not shaking the ground and making loud noises when they appeared is frankly more realistic. At that size you can't afford your prey knowing you're right behind it before it even sees you. In real life, Tyrannosaurus rex and other large predators probably had fatty padding on their feet to deaden their footsteps. It is inconsistent with the actual franchise though, and they never cared for paleontological accuracy to begin with lol.

[@christinalock27]

It's an alternate universe where the ground moves easier xD I use multiverse theory to explain any movie with slightly exaggerated aspects or unrealistic moments. Doesn't work if the movie breaks its own rules like JW they should either never do it or always do it IMO

[@MrVidman14]

Sure it’s more realistic But this is a movie.

[@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120]

Did you guys not read the last sentence?

[@MrVidman14]

@@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120 i did not and I’m sorry

[@taterboob]

You've got fatty padding on your feet.

[@emmagrove6491]

It's a sad day when a shavng cream can getting buried in the mud ellicits more of an emotional response than any characters in this film.

[@chasehedges6775]

💯💯

[@merlinmage6012]

Yea a dumb response why would anybody save a shave cream can just because it held dinosaur dna once lol reminds me of disney star wars vader damaged mask held by kylo for some reason.

[@krislee3155]

I actually liked that they made the Therizinosaurus, the one you called deer slapper, aggressive. Media likes to portray herbivores as docile and not dangerous when that's far from the truth. Herbivores can be just as aggressive and dangerous as carnivores. In fact, many of the most dangerous animals on the planet are large herbivores. In addition, the Therizinosaurus was confirmed to be blind so it being aggressive is logical. Since it can't see or differentiate potential threats, it just attacks anything that gets near it. Essentially it's in, "I don't care what you are, I'm not taking any chances." mode.

[@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120]

Preach!

[@caretakerrr123]

right, let’s praise accuracy in nature while there’s skin-wrapped, pronated wristed lizards running around in the most blatant and insulting way to any dedicated researcher, completely indoctrinating society so that everyone believes dinosaurs were actually this way! but no this therizinosaur is mildly accurate because good guys can actually be scary LOL go watch prehistoric planet please.

[@LeoTheYuty]

I like how they made the only aggressive herbivore look exactly like the carnivores, to the point where someone not paying attention would think it's only eating the remains of the deer. It's not like therizinosaurus wasn't unique, they just decided to remove most of its feathers and unique appearance to make it look more like a theropod, because only animals that look dangerous can be dangerous apparently.

[@blobbertmcblob4888]

Then they proceeded to ruin an interesting concept by making the damn thing be where they needed it, when they needed it. It was a plot device WHY WAS IT JUST STANDING IN THE MIDST OF TWO APEX PREDATORS!? Being aggressive does not mean going out and looking for fights or having no predator/prey fears.

[@krislee3155]

@Leo the Yuty I do like the design. It's inaccurate as heck, but it looks cool. I kind of accepted that Jurassic Park and Hollywood, in general, are never going to portray dinosaurs as anything but scaly monsters. I mean, heck, the Pyroraptor has feathers and wings, yet it still has the inaccurate raptor design and size. That's why I'm happy for documentaries like Prehistoric Planet to try and bring a counter balance.

[@teacup1315]

Fun fact: Scooter guy was a real life dude who won a contest in 2020 that guaranteed they would get eaten by a dino

[@jedibrooks7235]

Holy shit that would explain everything lol.

[@hihello5753]

:0

[@greenkoopa]

That's amazing

[@PaulaNaBussa-x1n]

"Was a real life dude" Wdym??? Is he not real?

[@teacup1315]

@@PaulaNaBussa-x1n he arrived at the place on a scooter, so technically, he's playing himself

[@darinlunderman8063]

My biggest criticism is that everything in the Jurassic World Dominion was set up just so the legacy characters and the new characters could have a big meet up, in one of the most unlikely, convoluted ways imaginable. The most unbelievable part of it for me, is why Ellie & Alan(both old by this point) would want to sneak into a secure facility on the otherside of the world and obtain evidence, as if they're agents of espionage and not middle-aged paleo-scientists from rural America. I get that they might have legitimate concerns for the state of the world, but does anyone truly believe that Ellie Sattler & Alan Grant would resort to becoming spies as well as intentionally put themselves in grave danger??? They were both negatively-affected mentally(for several years, mind you) by their experience on Isla Nublar, why would Ellie & Alan decide to become thrillseeking whistleblowers all of a sudden? It felt ridiculously out of character and like something written for different characters from some other film. The whole "swarm of giant locusts" thing really irked me too because that is not at all something that has ever been seen in or associated with Jurassic Park. I was actually confused when I saw the farm scene because I honestly thought some M. Night Shaymalan film got switched on by mistake. Jurassic World Dominion was frankly, a weird & disappointing conclusion to the series.

[@dreymak4071]

call me crazy, but after all they've been through, wouldn't Alan and Ian despise with a burning passion Owen, Clair, and Mazie for their direct involvement with unleashing dinosaurs onto the world...? I'd imagine through their eyes the trio looks like the true villains...

[@Maartwo]

Because quirky jokes must be written!!

[@jatzi1526]

​@dreymak4071 You're not wrong. I imagine it'd be big news who Claire is at least since she was the 2nd biggest honcho at Jurrasic World. Tbf she should've just gone to jail, she'd likely be at least a scapegoat and at worst legit in trouble

[@LordTheCyril]

Seeing as humans seem to be very underdeveloped in the weaponry department, the plan to weaponize dinosaurs suddenly makes much more sense.

[@notMattGarska]

The knowledge of gun triggers was lost to time. Everybody owns a gun, if only they could remember how it works

[@spleenrippasgubbinz2178]

@@notMattGarska The last gunslinger died in Fallen Kingdom after taking down Blue in a single shot. Which makes the idiot quartet with the atrociraptors scene even worse since we know a single 9mm is enough to disable them.

[@peterstoric6560]

They actually made a deal with the devil that increased the number of dinosaurs but took away most of their intelligence. It will all become clear in “Jurassic World: Revelations”

[@LordTheCyril]

Already prebooked a ticket when I heard that they are introducing the Velocipastor in that movie.@@peterstoric6560

[@dreymak4071]

Weaponizing the Indoraptor the way they tried to was beyond stupid, put a laser pointer on a gun and hit a button, the intoraptor goes ballistic trying to kill it, you know what else they could've done? shoot the target, IT, IS, A, GUN!! It would take less time, and resources, be quieter, and less difficult and less messy to just put a round or two into the target instead... it's sooooooo dumb... I mean does ANYONE actually think a T Rex would stand any chance against a modern tank?? Rexy in the first jurassic park struggled to get through the chasis of a unarmored car.... for christ sake...

[@lambdaweaponscache5394]

Its ironic that at one point Jurassic park uses some of the most up to date knowledge on prehistoric life at the time and now it peddles the very myths it once sought to disprove

[@Silverwolf1700]

I’m pretty sure it was not up to date knowledge, nor never was it meant to be

[@miguelpedraentomology6080]

​@@Silverwolf1700while it wasnt up there, it at least tried to follow a more accurate narative in various way, something the following movies did not, specialy jurassic world and onwards.

[@cameronwilsey9334]

Its dinosaurs were pretty good initially with a couple of notes. The 'vision is based on movement' thing was because of the frog DNA used to fill the genome. The dilophosaurus was a juvenile and the spit thing was made up for flavor(I think). And velociraptor was just a deinonychus but the editor convinced Michael Crichton to use a cooler name. The first two at least were explained in the book but aren't the kind of detail that's easy to get in a movie naturally

[@devinsamuel3612]

Fun fact- the Evil Rich Guy from this movie, and the guy who gives Nedry the shaving cream can, are the SAME GUY. Lou Dodgson. Really puts a new perspective on the line: "Dodgson, Dodgson! We've got Dodgson here! .....see, nobody cares."

[@jedibrooks7235]

Oh my god!

[@RaefonB]

@@jedibrooks7235 😄 (Less fun fact - they couldn't use the same actor for Dodgson because Cameron Thor is in prison for doing some gross stuff with a 13-year-old. Might be why it didn't occur to you, as the two Dodgsons look so different.)

[@RaefonB]

Do we know, are they treating the TellTale Jurassic Park game as canon, and does that tie into how Dodgson got hold of the Barbasol can again? Or is it supposed to be a totally different can from the one in the first movie?

[@EngineeringFan1776]

@@RaefonB Considering the character designs from the game are different from the films, I assume not.

[@RaefonB]

@@EngineeringFan1776 We never see Dodgson in the game, to my recall, but Miles Chadwick is working for him, right? And they're on a mission to retrieve the Barbasol can...

[@damndude999]

14:30 Small Error. That dude won a contest to get to be in the movie and killed by a dino. Hes also the only civilian killed in Fk or Dominion. Colin Trevorrow made the brain dead decision that only "bad guys" where allowed to die in these films now.

[@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778]

And that’s probably because people complained about unnecessary civilian deaths in Jurassic world I guess.

[@damndude999]

@@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778 1.when only sensitive/not fans complain instantly they shouldn't be taken seriously. 2. They where no civilian deaths besides Zara. 3. That take would mean only 2 people would have died in the original Trilogy.

[@sithsaiyan4529]

That’s not an error on Jedi’s part, they could have written it better.

[@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778]

@@damndude999 I am not defending it. I am just explaining why they may have done this braindead decision. I think zaras actress's asked to be eaten by the mosasaur.

[@barozukos7791]

​​@@damndude999 there is no way at least two dozen people didn't get mauled just by the Pterosaurs, not to mention any stragglers left behind like those dimwits from camp cretaceous

[@coolguy1127]

I thought the worst scene in the Jurassic franchise was when Starlord miraculously wakes up from a tranquilizer just in time to get out of the way of lava. And then avoids a stampede, falling volcanic rock and lava, jumps 100s of feet of a cliff. Avoids the dinosaurs rocks and lava and then rescues Claire. And somehow this entire film is worse.

[@jedibrooks7235]

lmao

[@cryptodino3roberts712]

@@jedibrooks7235 i hate you

[@chatteyj]

Come on thats like one of the best of JW franchise, not seen dominion, but lava scene was at least slightly nerve racking and a little comical and the running down a hill from the volcano with dinos was quite an original and iconic action sequence

[@GrantGraff]

I know the lava scene was inaccurate, but so is everything else in the Jurassic Franchise. At least Fallen Kingdom makes up for it with an engaging story and that heart wrenching Brachiosaurus death.

[@Tyranid_Hive_Mind]

​@@GrantGraff what makes that scene more emotional is that it was confirmed to be the same brachiosaurus seen in the original jurassic park

[@yarmen1268]

“A complete confirmation that logic will not be part of this story.” Why does this sound like every time I get into a relationship

[@alsmith9853]

"But think of the merch we can sell!" is, I believe, the only reason that any of the sequels exist. And they got crummier and crummier. The clone girl releasing them was so infuriating!

[@jedibrooks7235]

"Because they are clones... Like me " then proceeds to bitch about being a clone in very next movie. fuck that kid lol

[@theotheseaeagle]

To be fair to Fallen Kingdom, it was 10x better than the shitshow that was this film. At least it actually tried to be scary with the indoraptor instead of being a cliche action movie throughout the whole thing like Dominion

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

@@jedibrooks7235 No even worse. She says “they’re alive…like me” I woulda tossed her little ahh into the pit with the Dino’s screaming “yeah?! Ya still alive, ya dumb little asshole?! Feel those claws and fangs?! You just unleashed that on the ENTIRE WORLD, IDIOT.”

[@nont18411]

21:51 Funniest part is that the “rich asshole” villain that you said is less memorable than a can of whipped cream is actually a red shirt guy on the left that Nedry talked to. To top that, that scene was about how Nedry told everyone the guy’s name and then said something like “Dodgson, Dodgson, we've got Dodgson here! See? Nobody cares.”

[@kayskaht2052]

That is way too good! 😂

[@martindammable]

I don't know which is most forgetable about the movie; the so-called villain or the plot.

[@MrVidman14]

Fun fact, the Villain was the guy who gave Nedry the shaving cream can

[@redskull378]

​​@@MrVidman14Now only if they wrote him as a good villian like his novel counterpart.

[@mjl11]

Wait, there was a villain😂?

[@dreymak4071]

@@mjl11 honestly, don't blame you, lol

[@Jim90117]

Genuine point, I actually cant remember much of this movie and I can't recall any lines of dialogue.

[@pixiesquidinterface]

The pack of dimetrodons in the amber mine made me so mad because things with a sail on their back like theirs would not be living in caves and mine shafts. They did the dimetrodon so dirty.

[@claudia-uy5gk]

Rip spino

[@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778]

@@claudia-uy5gk Spino was supposed to show up in the movie. Infact it was supposed to be in all of the jurassic world movies but got cut each time. we were robbed of a tyrannosaurus and spinosaurus team up!

[@7MonarC]

The angsty, i-got-it-all-figured-out, irritating teenager trope should be abolished.

[@chasehedges6775]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@chasehedges6775]

That trope is tiring

[@JesterEx]

It's like people who write these movies haven't ever met a teenager before.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Most teenagers I’ve met are pleasantly self aware that they don’t know shit yet. So I don’t know where these Hollywood types are getting this idea. Maybe they just have shit kids.

[@benfubbs2432]

Hey a correction, the guy on the scooter @14:23 was a guy that won a fan competition to be in the film. Unfortunately covid travel restrictions prevented him from coming to the actual set so they just had him do something really generic on film, then green-screened him in. If covid restrictions were not in place he would have been flown out and filmed on set with better equipment. They didn't want to dishonor the agreement by excluding him so they did the best they could under the circumstances. While the movie was total garbage this one scene I think has a good excuse for being how it is.

[@RaefonB]

I knew he was a guy who won a competition to be in the film, but not the part about Covid and the green screen! Cheers for sharing this info, that bit makes more sense now.

[@damndude999]

Damnit I Commented that

[@yawningcow8942]

That's not even the best they could. He just appears out of nowhere and gets eaten.

[@caesarlaw212]

F the wuflu I would’ve have said fly me anyways and test me

[@MrMapacheumr]

Could've been worse and been eaten by the credits

[@nathanmcdonald610]

I will never forgive the writers for what they did to Alan Grant. Grant was always my favorite character of the Jurassic Park films and whatever they turned him into for JW Dominion was not Alan Grant.

[@aaronflowers8881]

In your opinion, what changed about him?

[@SmokeNGunsBBQ]

​@@aaronflowers8881well to start off in the first movie it was obvious where Ellie's heart was and she wasn't into joo boy despite his weak game in the explorer she jumped out and chased Allen. It was a whole side bar about life finding a way bc Allen didn't want kids and it was unsaid but obvious he changed his mind in the end. Then, due to our dysgenic culture run by jooz, in every other movie Grant wasn't with her. It's so bad in real life I can't even type out what happened to Grant with the appropriate word - bc it's what theh're actively trying to do to men.

[@Bowser64798]

@@SmokeNGunsBBQI still don’t see the issue

[@spidey5558]

​@@SmokeNGunsBBQ"Jooz", are you trying to say Jews???

[@hperez1551]

just do what i do, i pretend that JW movies never existed

[@howardking8519]

That clip of Kermit the frog on the typewriter was hilarious. When you spoke of how bad the writing was I got a real kick out of that.

[@x-cluster]

Lost World is my guilty pleasure. Love it.

[@c.moriarty1178]

The Lost World is Schindler's List compared to this big pile of shit

[@hanburgundy4317]

Don't feel guilty - it's still an A movie; just not the A+ that the original gets.

[@jacobowens2603]

Definitely agree. Not as good as the first but still a fun watch.

[@basedmathh]

Yeah to even pretend that it was bad like the last two is absurd. The very last one is untouched in how terrible it is.

[@yourdad5799]

At least you feel guilt

[@smeghead765]

Truly one of the dinosaur movies of all time.

[@ZeusTheMatti]

Sad thing is that MANY people think that....

[@dreymak4071]

@@ZeusTheMatti I mean, I'd assume people would unanimously think it's "one of the dinosaur movies of all time." Did you actually read what the OP said, or did you just skim it and assume they said it was any good?

[@DrKaushikRam]

The original Jurassic Park was my favourite childhood movie. This video essay is by far the best account of why the franchise is failing and you delivered with precision humour. Great work!

[@SmokeNGunsBBQ]

It's failure is a reflection and agenda being forced on the entire society. The biggest and most obvious being how they turned Grant, who had more game than the joo, end up not being with Ellie and they even had her shyt talk him in the movie...

[@VERDICTInsanity]

I like how the clumsy tech guy who disappeared halfway through Jurassic World 2: Jurassic Worldier is now this super cool and on the ball guy now

[@scottbuckley823]

The biggest problem with this movie is there's no conflict between the old and new cast. One want them dead the other want to keep them alive why would they get along?

[@matteomastrodomenico1231]

...but they don't?

[@markoliver314]

Also why is Clair still not in jail? Like did everyone forget what happened in previous movies

[@yogamaheswara9458]

I guarantee most of the kids including me was skipping the entire lunch moral discussion scene in the first film because it is boring, but now i realized just how lovely crafted that scene in explaining the entire plot of a movie. Now I like replaying that scene because it is not only explains the plot, but also explains and setting the characters and the dialogue is also good.

[@nataliedepriest9113]

The critical drinker sent me here and I’m so glad he did. Great video. Hilarious. Liked and subscribed.

[@luskete]

Same!

[@WarwickNielsen]

Same

[@ImmortalTreknique]

Same👊

[@zhaloman92]

Same

[@lucifer.means.light.bringe738]

Omg critical drinker was the first review channel I ever found and subbed to

[@Forgotmytea]

Ironically, the point of the first one was to explore humanity's greed. John Hammond in the book is a ruthless, manipulative businessman who, by the end, is literally planning how to build the park again while the workers around him are clearing the detritus and bodies. It's only in the film where he's the kndly grandpa figure, which hugely detracts from the impact his character has in the book - a selfish, corporate sociopath obsessed with money at all costs.

[@alsmith9853]

That would have made for a better film but less appealing to the mass audience

[@vyckturvon-ozeghe3157]

The Drinker ordered me here. Turns out to be the best assignment I've ever received. Bloody good one, mate.

[@patrickkelmer6290]

I love how Wu was turned from a moustache twirling villain into an emo for no reason xD

[@TheReZisTLust]

*From a ✨nobody worker✨ to moustache growing and twirling villian into Emo*

[@patrickkelmer6290]

@@TheReZisTLust Exactly.

[@cryptodino3roberts712]

He was neither. Shut the fucj K up

[@Kaminoyouni]

I'd say this was mostly spot on, but people give The Lost World too much shit a lot of the time. JP3's worst crime was only just that it had no reason to exist. I'll Give the first Jurassic World Credit for at least trying a "what if" if the Park had actually opened, and exploring Hybrid Dinos, which was previously only ever done in the toylines. But Fallen Kingdom and Dominion, just no excuses, they are insufferably and insultingly bad. Trying to Reunite Ellie and Grant, only it's too little too late, as Grant's arc in the first film was all about getting on board with having kids with Ellie, but that ship sailed as they're both far too old.

[@Ko12395]

I will say, in defense of Jurassic world (pretty much the only defense I have for it), no one knew the indominus rex could camouflage itself. Doesn't explain why they didn't have a tracking station IN the enclosure control room though; no defense there...

[@dreymak4071]

It's worse than that, consider the fact that Claire decided the best time to confirm that the indominus was still in there was way after she got in a car and drove away, when she could've done it there and then before anyone had even moved.. The fact it can camouflage itself shouldn't even be a factor. HISHE did a scene on this, it was actually kinda funny. I proposed that claire was an idiot and directly caused the indominus to escape for this very reason and someone suggested that there wasn't very good cell service due to the scene after when she's trying to warn them, I argued that that is even more incompetent of them if that is indeed the case that they'd construct the habitat for one of if not THE most dangerous dinosaur in the park outside of cell range, tf are these people thinking??! Answer, they weren't..

[@emilyskelton5484]

We called him Star Lord the whole time too when we were watching these. That’s how unmemorable his character is!! instant sub. You’re funny.

[@redwolf4611]

I think Ian Malcom said it best in the first movie. "Genetic power is the most awesome force of nature and you wield it like a kid who just found his dads gun." of there's also his most memorable line "Your scientists were so occupied with the fact they could that they didn't stop think if they should."

[@SmokeNGunsBBQ]

And now there's... dino time brain rot.

[@theterribleclaw4285]

And what did Universal do after Crichton's Book and first 2 Movie's they patented, they packaged it, and they slapped it on a plastic lunch box and now they're selling it! they're selling it!

[@SmokeNGunsBBQ]

@@theterribleclaw4285 to be fair they had a whole line of merchandise ready before the first movie even dropped lol

[@robertjackson1813]

I love how this one video summed up how we think of the enemy in this movie, it cuts to the scene where nedry and Dodson are collaborating at that outdoor restaurant and nedry sarcastically goes "Dodson! Dodson! we have Dodson here!... See nobody cares. Nice hat."

[@hankskorpio5857]

I wish we could just skip to the part where we are all looking back at this era of entertainment and think, "How the fuck did it ever get that bad?...."

[@SmokeNGunsBBQ]

It's been happening, quite deliberately, to all aspects of existence.

[@sabir1208]

The owner of the business I work for actually had her dad pass in that kind of plane crash. He was a business man and a pilot who often flew his clients. He hit a storm and went down. They couldn't find them for a long time and when they did, it was in about 30-60ft of water. They were all still in their seats but him and the the other front seat passenger were totally decapitated from the impact in the ocean. And they hit ICE and hot out unscathed. Absolutely unbelievable

[@oliverallen4192]

18:28 Book John Hammond definitely made Jurassic Park for the money with little regard for the safety of workers and guests. That’s why Michael Crichton gave him such a grizzly death. My head cannon is that Steven Spielberg and the film crew thought in casting Richard Attenborough the character would work best as a kind, wise, grandfather figure.

[@rolloxra670]

Jurassic Park (1993) will always be the best of the franchise

[@chasehedges6775]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@gojigiante]

Nah, JW was def better.

[@shivamjha5578]

​@@gojigiantelmao , what are u on ? JP > by a mile

[@gojigiante]

@@shivamjha5578 JW was better.

[@shivamjha5578]

@@gojigiante Lmao , have u even watched JP ? Jp beats Jw in all criterias

[@slchance8839]

"Show dont tell" is a great comment. I, myself, failed at that at the age of 8 when I saw Return of the Jedi. As a kid, it never occurred to me that fatherly love could save the hero. To me a villain is a villain is a villain. BUT....i mulled that over for DECADES, and as i got OLDER (father age), I came to appreciate that ROTJ SHOWed, not TOLD, me the motive. Makes it stand the test of time as a well-told story.

[@stickbat9]

One of the best comments I've ever read on KZbin.

[@slchance8839]

@@stickbat9 What a great thing to say! That made my day. Thank you!

[@cort35]

Your critical analysis of this movie is SPOT ON ! Thanks for softening the blow, of realizing that this movie was 2hrs and 27min of my life that I will never get back.

[@GhostRider-on6bz]

One could argue the T-Rex was unimaginably stealthy at the end of the first one. The books were always better. I wish they would adapt the first novel as a 10 - 20 part miniseries. Shit I wouldn’t even complain if they make Malcolm a black guy (or Ellie a black girl for the modern film fans) if they were, in all other ways true to the source material, violence and all.

[@jedibrooks7235]

I agree that final scene makes no sense lol they should have heard it coming. and i might check out the books im curious after making this

[@hectorvalverde5044]

@@jedibrooks7235the original novel is amazing, I’ve read it 4 times

[@LeoTheYuty]

Highly unlikely, some themes in the novel could bother modern audiences and we could only replace these themes with sh*tty writing that is less offensive to them.

[@blobbertmcblob4888]

@@jedibrooks7235 ..No? Watch prehistoric planet. They explain perfectly how something as large as T.Rex was capable of being stealthy. The T.Rex being able to sneak up on things is the most realistic part of the movies.

[@MylotheZooLovingScientist]

@@blobbertmcblob4888 It's not that the T. rex being stealthy doesn't make sense anatomically, it's that it doesn't make sense for the "character" established within the film. It's introduced as a gigantic predator that literally shakes the ground and makes sonic booms when it walks, i.e., it shouldn't be capable of just turning that off for the sake of the plot, lol.

[@astro_d_kid3202]

It’s Dino time!! You should talk about how hard the “fast and the furious “ franchise is being milked

[@PaulMillard1973]

Milked!! They fucking drained it, refilled it and then drained it again

[@jimmyboy131]

The going into space movie was too far. Up to that point I was willing to go out and enjoy some fun with friends, watching a throw-away action movie, and munch some popcorn and get some laughs. But c'mon, that movie was so ridiculous it wasn't even fun.

[@seaweeb2258]

At least with that series they changed up the story a little bit........well, at least for the first 3 movies. As a trilogy it's pretty good, but damn did they milk it afterwards. "Family" -Vin Diesel

[@eewalktub8907]

I love how this guy didn’t even pay to watch this movie but ripped a Korean subbed version. Legend.

[@Esure101]

Thank you for the great review. Although I now genuinely feel stupider as a human being for knowing the plot of this movie.

[@tokyosmash]

The armored Mercedes rolling right in to scene next to Chris Pratt had the theatre rolling

[@Craaftyn]

had to pause the vid mid way at 14:20 just to write this... your reviews are hillarious and i hope you never stop making them. Just watch out hollywood doesn't stop making shitty movies becouse your reviews about them are golden

[@TF2CrunchyFrog]

As an ecologist, the Jurassic World movies had me facepalming. It was a 180° whiplash from the first Jurassic Park movie's theme of "Yup, these dinosaurs are dangerous, and also they're a genetic mashup so it's not like they're the real deal! (not to mention the ecosystems of millions of years in the past, with their plants and fungi down to the symbiotic gut bacteria of the dinosaurs, no longer exist.) But suddenly it's "But these poor dinosaurs are _alive!_ So we have to protect them and treat them as threatened species" when in reality they're invasive megafauna that will utterly destroy global ecosystems (which are already under strain from 8 billion humans). Forget dinosaurs killing humans, who cares. The day the hippos go extinct due to T-Rex eating them will be catastrophic not just for African river systems but also for the fertility of the savannah around those river and all animals dependant on that. Hippos are a key species. Dinos who went extinct hundreds of millions of years ago in a totally different era are not.

[@anthonybramante2921]

4:09 "DODGSON! WE GOT DODGSON HERE!!" "See, nobody cares."

[@TheLion-i4v]

The clip of the girl swinging at Clair only to continuously swing at air just broke me down😂😂

[@mgg1244]

yup

[@JediDanD]

Everyone involved with that scene is going to Hell. They ordered a few pizzas, the Domino's Delivery Driver is going to Hell :3

[@silverclo]

Your channel was a fantastic recommendation. May be youtube's first for me!

[@1977Yakko]

Critical Drinker recommended this. Great analysis of the films. Consider me a fan.

[@Connorkauffmanofficial]

Dude what an amazing video and script, would’ve expected you to have 1m+ subs. Keep it up bro

[@gatorgaming3407]

The main villain of this movie (Lewis Dodgeson (I think it’s dodgeson?)) is supposed to be the same guy who met up with Denis Nedry at the cafe in the first movie to bribe him into stealing the embryos from Hammond. Not sure if any of you already knew this, but if you didn’t, the more you know.

[@creeper7ech520]

yeah, what happened to Dodgeson? He didn't come off as the socially awkward tech CEO.

[@gatorgaming3407]

Yeah, I do find that kind of wierd

[@RedrumZombies]

@@creeper7ech520 25+ years Also different actor.

[@Lord_Khan]

"The franchise died with that raptor" FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT edit: I love how you say you don't remember the antagonists name compared to the barbasol can, when the same guy's in the frame in 1993. DODGSON WE GOT DODGSON HERE!

[@thereallordfarquaad4192]

Man you remind me of Ellie Sattler examining the giant pile of feces of that Triceratops in the first Jurassic Park. Great video breaking down what's wrong with the movie. Great work, keep it up.

[@blobbertmcblob4888]

I think Chris Pratts one condition for being in the JW movies was "I'll do it but my character is what I think of myself, a manly badass with no flaws" Owen Grady is the definition of "Plot Armor"

[@AnAmericanMusician]

Get over your hate boner dude. There are far worse actors out there who do far worse movies on a regular basis.

[@Mobius118]

Even if he did think that it’s pretty much not wrong lol

[@datboi9539]

Wish so many Mary Sue's in movies nowadays, it's amazing that they'd go for that...

[@rollwaveroll]

When he lassoed the dinosaur i almost walked out of the theater... until i remembered we were still only like 1 minute in

[@elijahmuller2521]

"F@#k the guy who set up the lights in this movie" . . This entire video is a master class on brain dead cinema, You have my respect Jedi Brooks, say it like it is.

[@Beispielname1233]

I guess the Jurassic Park "franchise" shows why vanilla works. People dont think "boy gotta watch that new Jurassic Park movie!" people think more like "okay i want to go out with my date/friends/family/kids/wife tonight, what could be the smallest denominator? Oh i know, lets watch the inoffensive meaningless dino movie." I dont mind it that much, at least its not anouther race/genderswapped mess, i just hope good movies are still getting made and i appreciate every new good movie like Joker or The whale very recently. (Also it gives good KZbin content)

[@ChamblesRNG]

Your date/friends/family/kids/wife gets offended watching good movies? 😂

[@anguswilliam2141]

You took your family to see The Whale? Ewww...

[@Beispielname1233]

@@ChamblesRNG No they fall asleeep

[@LinkMarioSamus]

Joker wasn’t that good, although I didn’t hate it. Just found it offensively inoffensive really.

[@anguswilliam2141]

​@@LinkMarioSamus Joker was a emo film that somehow made it to mainstream... prob off the back of the Joker recognition. I didn't like it. All it's going to do is sooth psychopaths and give the pricks some kind of validation.

[@tomtom2tone1]

Wow, you nailed that part at the end,” when was the last time you felt afraid for a character since the first movie”

[@jackattacksfilms]

Good job with this video! As someone who has much disdain for Dominion (and the trilogy as a whole), I had quite the laugh watching you point out many of its ridiculous, brain-melting flaws. Keep up the great work! P.S: I too love the dinner scene from JP. Malcolm and Hammond's debate is so intriguing, and many of the lines are so great yet so painfully ironic when remembering that this trilogy exists. Shame that the franchise ended up the way it did, but at least we still have that timeless classic to look back on.

[@benhac]

I am 43. I grew up with movies of the 80s and 90s. cinema has been dead for two decades now. So is music. So is the human spirit.

[@SmokeNGunsBBQ]

Small hat meddling

[@HurricaneGilma]

2010s cinema > 90s cinema.

[@akeelyaqub2538]

Idk if the movie explains it but how tf did releasing like 20 dinosaurs into one small forest result them suddenly populating the entire planet, being abundant everywhere and being made up of species that were not only, not released by maisie but werent even part of ingens stock. How tf does that happen, seriously ?

[@ImpossibleRyan55]

You and Drinker need to co-produce a review sometime man. Great stuff!

[@z0g944]

O my god my day just got way better

[@juliancar5700]

18:49 Funnily enough her name was never Charlotte in FK. It was Maisie Lockwood and she passed away sometime around 2002. So there is literally no reason for her to still be around in 2009. I despised how they tried to make her seem like some important character. Even on my first viewing of the movie , I was like " Yeah I don't like this character at all".

[@RepublicTrooper125]

This makes me wish there was an accurate depiction of the Carnosaur novel. The military was actually useful at the end 😆

[@animezilla4486]

I disagree that would make the movie truly suck

[@chadgorosaurus4898]

An accurate depiction of the original Jurassic Park novel would be peak (even with the dark scenes).

[@theotheseaeagle]

@@chadgorosaurus4898 make it a series with few episodes and two seasons and not a film and that would be goated.

[@slchance8839]

To add, last time I checked, Locusts dont eat people, so as long as you dont mind walking through a swarm of giant, buzzing, scary bugs, you'll be perfectly safe. Every character could have just closed their eyes, peeking out occasionally, and walked right through them.

[@caldwellfisher5288]

But every one DOES mind walking through a swarm of giant, buzzing, scary bugs~~Every one, even the ones who know they wont eat you.

[@slchance8839]

@@caldwellfisher5288 well....cant argue with that. you got me, there.

[@juliancar5700]

I mean to be honest , if you saw one in the real world you would either run away or grab something to kill a giant locust.

[@ThatZenoGuy]

Locusts can cause bites, and a locust the size of a small dog could probably bite you pretty badly. But yeah, it wouldn't have any actual drive to bite you, unless you were pissing it off.

[@grapesman123]

You forgot the choking out of a dilo hahahaha

[@modelsnstuffreveiws6628]

They released a total of like 30 dinosaurs and suddenly it’s a massive infestation across the planet lmao

[@hendrsb33]

These movies are made from the premise: "Wouldn't it be cool if..." But, increasingly, these movies are lacking: "Wouldn't it make sense if..." The Sarah Harding character in THE LOST WORLD annoyed me to the point where her carelessness overshadowed the dino FX. This video perfectly sums up why I stopped watching the JP movies after the third one.

[@BoAngles]

Really enjoyed the video, my only note was around 21:35 when you had mentioned that the “bad guy” died and you didn’t even care to remember his name… however that was a completely separate callback to him being the Dodgson character from the first film asking Dennis Nedry for the DNA. He was the reason (partly) for the first park to go under, and now he’s back. Maybe an idea for a follow up video. 😂

[@chacachaca11]

Critical drinker sent me but I’m definitely here to stay. That was a hilarious and very insightful review of a movie I refuse to watch. Liked and subbed

[@stephen6279]

The problem - Hollywood thinks we want bigger and bigger. No. We want small, intimate and horrific. We want- a group of 20 people camping, who are terrorised by a group of velociraptors who have destroyed the tyres on their cars, and the rescuers can't get through due to a mudslide, for 24 hours.

[@RaefonB]

Excellent critique, one of the best I've seen for this film. Can tell you love and respect the original Jurassic Park as much as I do. The screenwriters' lack of skill re: communicating themes and character is a MASSIVE issue with the three Jurassic World films, especially the last two, and you demonstrate this really well. And I love that you call them out - writers, directors, producers, the whole crew - for the disdain they show to the original premise and franchise as a whole! Only thing I would maybe disagree with is your take on John Hammond - I love his character too, but I feel he was definitely more selfish, profits-driven and calculating than you acknowledge; it just wasn't ALL he was, he had a sense of wonder and cared about people as well (the version of his character in the novel - not so much, haha). Dominion makes a fair point that Hammond and Lockwood COULD have used the genetic discoveries for more things beneficial to humanity than a dinosaur theme park...I'm just glad they didn't, 'cos I'm a big Jurassic Park fan. :D

[@ryanmuhm7584]

I wish I could organize my thoughts half as well as you sir. Excellent vid as always.

[@dlmac]

Great video. I forgot I even watched this last year. I clearly remember watching the original JP in theaters and being so amazed. This movie still made 1 billion at the BO. So, not just the writers fault.

[@ianbaker8017]

Alan Grant is my favorite character in fiction and seeing what they did to him in this piece of Dino-shit was strikingly insulting.

[@scruffyscruff]

I never knew what Barbasol was until I went to America 20 years after seeing Jurassic Park 21:54 and saw it on a shelf at the chemist... thought it was fancy whipped cream. I watch the original piece of art at least once a month, each time you see something new ❤

[@VicariousReality7]

6:00 You just reminded me of how this scene has a bunch of animals standing in a room thats ON FIRE and filling with hydrogen cyanide gas, which is explosive and horrifically toxic

[@DrMisty458]

"Its just dino time" that got me dying

[@ThomasWalling-s4w]

just because a dinosaur is a herbevore doesn’t mean it isn’t aggressive

[@vhr4430]

This movie was basically the rise of Skywalker. A soulless nostalgia dependent slop of a “film” with the most forgettable “plot line” in a Jurassic park movie. What really did it for me was the “coexist” at the end as you see a huge apex predator bigger than whales swim next to the endangered whales, as if they didn’t warn us in a previous film that releasing the mosasaur would be devastating for ocean life. I can’t believe the entirety of childhood franchise got turned to shit, hope the movie industry crashes.

[@dereklopez9060]

When I look at a movie like Spider-Man No Way Home, That movie is a pretty good example on how you handled nostalgia correctly. I honestly thought we were gonna get the same feeling in Jurassic World Dominion when it comes to nostalgia. But unfortunately, it fell very flat. I was so excited when the original cast was returning, but the way they were used in the movie, it honestly didn't feel right. Why is Dr Grant still digging up bones when there's live Dinosaurs everywhere? Why is Dr Sattler given such awkward dialogue such as "Oh, he slid into my DM's." And more Importantly, Why is Dr Malcolm working at Biosyn when he's been very outspoken against big genetic corporations like InGen?

[@joshgorsky5224]

i loveeee videos like this! No punches pulled, subscribed

[@viruspter1dactl]

What pisses me off about the scene with the armed guys against the raptors is thst in the previous movie a single 9mm bulletnearly killed blue, those raptors wouldve been toast

[@ghostfacefrmscream]

This is what happens when they hire the writer that killed the Pacific Rim franchise, Emily Carmichael.

[@AllBlackAirpods]

11:08 they need to have this chick play syndromes assistant in The Incredibles live action

[@aarondavidson6409]

So many perfect clips mixed in here i don't know where to start. Well played. Subscribbled

[@cybernetic_crocodile8462]

My favourite scene was when Angry Clone Girl said "This power belongs to no boy!" and caused Giganotosaurus to die from cringe. Truly, one of the dinosaurs movie of all time.

[@UochintomWash]

Do you know what would be amazing? A movie that talks about the morality of bringing extinct animals back to life using accurate dinosaurs to create unique and creative scenes like having a t rex sneak up and hunt you down not roaring at the top of it's lungs but like a real animal It would be like Jurassic Park but using modern day science

[@thesultanofswing8706]

You got a shoutout from the drinker, my man. We can both thank him.

[@vinred1911]

That Kermit the frog clip 😂😂😂😂 so good. Nice job dude. Please keep it going.

[@lonellfletcher]

You summed it up in the first few minutes here; idiotic humans. The fact that every writer and director and cast member have allowed this series to devolve is stunning to me. Why didn't ANYONE fight for the integrity of this franchise?

[@jaarneal]

Lots of people are answering your question just by saying: “profit” or “money”, as if that’s all there is to it. And that really is all there is to it. Good art requires taking risks. Any movie that is good, is good at least in part because it did something new and different. Big movie studios that operate on billion-dollar franchises will consistently take the low-risk option. And low-risk means… no art.

[@joetheschmoe1066]

Its 2 things one is the attempt at easy profit. The big execs in charge believe the viewers will just mindlessly watch it because its (insert Ip here) movie, the other issue is that writers and people making these movies unironically believe theyre special and skilled enough that they can redo these stories better. This combined with the fact that the people who could and would care enough to say anything either put up with it to keep a paycheck or get bullied into submission for going against the status quo, leads to movies like this. Just look at how Henry Cavil was treated when he tried to give the Witcher some level of accuracy to the source material

[@AdamTheStorysmith]

That quetzal rose over 10,000 ft in 5 seconds