A Day In The Life Of A Writer Living In Paris

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Use code jrw for 20% off at wild here bit.ly/jessicawilliamswild

[@nilakshiroy6]

I find it very very common among psychologists to come to this conclusion about people later in their life. It happened with my husband, my daughter’s girlfriend also has had a similar revelation made at 27. It is very very difficult to accept .. and very easy to forgive yourself all the problems you find yourself in or create with your regular inconsistencies which are a part of all our lives, whether we are neurodivergent or not. Jessica : tell me WHAT is normal that you will be divergent? I’m very very cautious of categories that relate around some concept of normalcy or standard … who knows what IS the ideal? So don’t trouble yourself with these thoughts and look at the petals of the magnolia at Palais Royale … they are each quite divergent … their being together adds to the beauty of it all. You’re autistic, great, you’re fantastic, too!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Thank you so much for sharing all of this with me 🙏🏼❤️ means a lot and I find it very comforting

[@smallofferings]

I'm really surprised by your therapists suggestion you might be Autistic, tbh. Obviously she has known you a long time and sees a very different side of you than the one you present here, though! I'm Dyspraxic, poss ADHD, my husband is autistic and has ADHD inattentive type. Neither of us knew we were ND until we were in our 50s. Rather than feeling alone, it was more of a feeling of relief, and an explanation for feeling like aliens all our lives. We have both struggled socially, one way or another, and both of us have always felt like we weren't given the 'handbook' everyone else seemed to get when they were born (that tells you how to deal with others, make friends etc). We are both (as my husband puts it) a 'bit odd' though we can also pass for normal out in the world, but when you get to know us, our eccentricities become apparent. Women in particular can be very skilled at masking, of course, and often watch and copy others' behaviour, as a coping mechanism, but in your shoes I think I'd be asking if I actually struggle socially (a defining characteristic of ASD) to the point where making and keeping friends has always been difficult, or where I don't know how to behave in social situations. There's also lots of resources for women here on you tube - Yo Samdy Sam is great - which might help you learn more about the lived experience of ND and see how you relate to it. Please feel free to send me a message too, if you want to. Also remember, she hasn't diagnosed you, she's suggested it - diagnosis relies on a set of criteria you may not actually meet. I score really high on many traits for ASD, but I don't meet the criteria, and that's because autistic traits are human traits, many of my autistic traits are sensory and there's a lot of crossover with all developmental disorders (nearly all seem to involve some sensory issues). Phw hats a lot of words! Remember you are still you though, regardless ❤

[@nilakshiroy6]

@@smallofferings Thanks so much! Gives me a whole new perspective on how people are diagnosed later in life ! Like my husband and my daughter and another daughter’s girlfriend. Good you finally found some understanding and relief and have started accepting you as yourself, as always you. Whatever may be your neurotype. Been listening all morning to Swami Sarvapriyananda and his talk on “me”, and consciousness. These comments were so apt in that context.

[@trishwilliams11]

Couldn’t agree more with you regarding slowing down and enjoying all the little things that are part of your life. Getting out into nature. It took me years to understand that this wasn’t wasting my time!

[@darlenechandler2403]

I go for a walk every day in nature even for 1 hour and it really clears my head and makes me feel very positive.

[@LouiseGreenwood-jr3lr]

I’ve watched your videos for some time and did think some time back that you are neurodivergent. I am 37, female and awaiting assessment for ADHD and I think I’m possibly autistic too. My son was diagnosed autistic at 4, and since then I’ve hyper focused on neurodiversity and now work in the area of neurodiversity. I run a social group for autistic teen girls and we are definitely harder to diagnose than males as masking and fawning are so prevalent in females. I can’t wait to get my official identity as a neurodivergent person. I already identify as that and love so many things about the ND brain. We face challenges due to the world being set up for the dominant neuro type and not because there is anything ‘wrong’ with our brains. The girls at my group amaze me every session with their creativity, ability to think out of the box and their authenticity. I look forward to hearing about your journey with this ❤

[@NathanWilder-wp8iq]

Just seeing you living your day in Paris it’s bringing so many fond memories back! Spring in Paris just so wonderful your creating such a wonderful situation to write and inspire other people don’t let your feelings change because you find out something new about yourself emotionally embrace it and carry on as your a incredibly talented and lovely person that’s growing in a good way! Hugs Nathan 🩷

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Thank you so much! I'm glad I could bring back the memories for you xx

[@AndreaJSeverson]

I shared a bit about my experience of being diagnosed at 41 with ADHD in your DMs but just to add a bit more… One thing that helped me process seeking and then receiving a diagnosis was learning more about adhd and neurodivergence, particularly how it looks in young girls and also in older women. Because adhd and add look very different in girls than how it presents in boys. I saw so much of my young self in the signs/symptoms I read about. And in hearing stories from grown women who were diagnosed in their 30s and 40s it was an even bigger “ah ha!” moment. I immediately felt so much less “weird” and less alone. Doing more research about it also helped me get past the stigma and stereotypes I had of adhd/add as someone who grew up in the 80s and 90s when these sorts of things were so much more stigmatized. I don’t define myself by labels but having the diagnosis gave me something specific to research and that research has given me so much comfort in better understanding how my brain works and functions best. I give myself so much more grace and compassion now that I understand myself better. And I don’t think of myself as “abnormal” or “weird” my brain is just wired differently and that’s ok. ❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

thank you so much for sharing Andrea! I'm not sure what to do about the diagnosis process but I would like to read more about it so if you have any recommendations that you found useful I'd love to hear them. I'm so so pleased to hear how you've used your diagnosis to champion, love and accept yourself. It's such a beautiful thing ❤️

[@AndreaJSeverson]

@@JessicaRoseWilliams I’m in the US so I wouldn’t begin to know how to do it in Paris. I’ve had friends start the process in the UK on the NHS but it was an 18 month wait for them. Not sure if it’s still that backed up. There are private options, but again, not sure what the private practice alternatives would be for France. I went to see a psychiatrist. But I think some clinical psychologists can test for adhd and autism. It can be a long road and I can’t say my doctor was helpful, but she made it “official” and I was able to do more helpful research from there.

[@bethanyc.8905]

I so agree that to be creative you must have space to cultivate it. With two kids, marriage, and work outside the home at one point, it is through travel, watching lovely videos like yours, art or reading that I can see my creative juices flowing. I'm trying to cultivate more time for this bc as a young person and then as a single adult I made time and it really was nourishing. Lovely post!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I'm so pleased your cultivating the time! I'm also wondering if you find this in time with your children? Or if you either have to be parent / creative and the two are tough to overlap? Let me know

[@bethanyc.8905]

Oh excellent question. I'd say a combo. I think creatively as a person so it does spill into parenting. For example crafts, looking at art or listening to different types of music is something my kids are very much exposed to. I am always encouraging them to create things.....art, cool buildings, etc. But I also find I need alone time to cultivate my own creativity which then spills over to them. Our home is full of lots of art (paintings, carvings, tapestries, various items) from around the world, so our kids are constantly asking about them or observing them.

[@minimalist_romantic]

As a mum of non verbal autistic boy I think getting assessed will only lead to your better understanding of yourself. You are who you are no matter what label but surely if you are indeed autistic and get that diagnosis it would only help you. Sending you lots of love ❤️

[@BilalDemiroglu]

Hi my love

[@Zeneyez]

I listen to Joep Beving, a Dutch classical pianist. If you don’t know him, I really think you would love his music, it’s slow and gentle and quietly hypnotic and ethereal , it’s gorgeous. He’s on Spotify 😊

[@HS233-qr1nb]

My cousin was diagnosed with autism in her late 20s and for her, suddenly everything made sense. Females with autism present very differently than males and they a more likely to “mask” as well, trying to mirror others social behaviour which makes diagnosis a lot harder. My cousin always struggled with social connections and maintaining relationships among other things she couldn’t understand until she received the clarity of her diagnosis. Nothing has to change. Persuing a formal diagnosis may just help to understand more about yourself and the way you are wired.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

the masking is what she went into a lot of detail about. I think I have a lot of reading to do. Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️

[@louiselewis7162]

Ooh I loved seeing this. Thanks for the advice about creativity too- I need to do more to create the environment. I dropped to only writing 1 day a week but now the ideas aren’t flowing! Wonder why, doh. 😂

[@mastandstars]

Ahhh. Please take us to a garden soon and show off the spring blooms. Hope you’re enjoying Paris in the spring. BTW- have you ever considered getting a reading of your Human Design? Similar to astrology but more personal. 💐

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I will do. I promise. Maybe Monet’s garden??? And yes! This keeps coming to me so I think I will try. Have you tried it?

[@mastandstars]

Yes! It was presented to me several times. Finally I was ready to receive it. I had a reading done at the end of January. I’ve been enjoying implementing what I’ve learned. It’s been worth it! ☺️

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

👏👏👏👏

[@Trissa.33]

I have found it more accurate than astrology, more relatable as to who I am and helpful.

[@teawithlilibet]

Hi Jessica, thanks for sharing your routine and bravely talking about the comment your therapist made. I hope it hasn't upended things for you too much these past few months. You're still you! And are an inspiring human regardless of whether you are neurodivergent or neurotypical. I'm struggling with finding creative energy to write. I've been a musician all my life and can sing and make music with relative ease. But writing is so new for me. I have lots of ideas. But I'm finding it challenging to consistently bring them together into something coherent and meaningful. I'd be grateful for any advice you can pass on from when you began your writing journey. I've been a subscriber to your channel for quite a while and love your videos. And recently starting following your Substack. Your content is beautiful ❤

[@UppiliVlogs]

Great stuff on creativity thank you

[@roismireag]

My son at age 40 was diagnosed with mild autism and adhd. Although he appeared to be the same as his 2 older brothers growing up, he said he felt different. It took a couple of different specialists before he actually got a diagnosis, the first specialist told him it was in his head, but the second specialist tested him and told him it was mild. Loud noises seem to be the biggest trigger to him.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

wow. incredible someone can go for so long without it being picked up. I'm glad he got his diagnosis. thank you for sharing

[@mirandarileydesigns]

If you are indeed neurodivergent, I'd accept it as a superpower! Who wants to be like everyone else?? 😘❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Dontletthemdullyoursparkle]

Lovely to see you Jess. Im 36 and ive identified only in the last few years that i think i may be autistic. Though i find that hard to say and dont like labels. I prefer to just live my life. After all, we are all on the spectrum to some degree, some say. And like someone else said who really knows what's normal or what's not. It's ok to be you either way xx

[@PerfumedByTheSea]

Have to say, that’s completely false, and a lot of autistic people are offended by this saying about everyone being on the spectrum. The spectrum is about where you fit in as a neurodivergent person, and I feel strongly (as do others) that you are either neurodivergent or you aren’t. If you aren’t neurodivergent then you aren’t on the spectrum. Not even a little bit.

[@Dontletthemdullyoursparkle]

@SundaysAreForQuiet sorry, didn't mean to offend. I should say I am no expert.

[@emu9520]

@@DontletthemdullyoursparkleI only learned this myself recently

[@PerfumedByTheSea]

@@Dontletthemdullyoursparkleno problem - if you Google “stop saying everyone is on the spectrum” there’s a lot more information there on why it’s neurodivergent people who are on the spectrum. :)

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I had no idea about this and I have two autistic family members so thank you for sharing ❤️

[@alejandrorodriguez4189]

Starting my morning with another wonderful video from one of my favorite content creators 😊✨🤍 you are always inspiring and do an amazing job! Listening to classical music is always calming

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Yay! Thank you!

[@alejandrorodriguez4189]

@@JessicaRoseWilliams your welcome! Love your content and everything you put into it ❤️

[@nicholepareti]

So inspired by you always.❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

❤️❤️❤️

[@manuelathames]

Beautiful vlog!! Love your routine!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Glad you liked it!!

[@Sarah-nm2lt]

Beautiful video 🥰 Katherine May (who wrote Wintering) is autistic, and was diagnosed as an adult. Her book The Electricity of Every Living Thing is all about how she navigated her diagnosis. Might be worth a read!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

so pleased you like it. I love Katherine May so thank you for sharing that with me xx

[@PerfumedByTheSea]

It’s worth testing for autism. Not one test will truely let you know either. It takes a lot to be diagnosed as autistic, I think it’s worth finding out more, it may not be autism it may be ADHD. Or it may not be anything. Autism affects you every single minute of the day, there’s no being “ a little bit autistic “ or everyone is on the spectrum, totally offensive if anyone thinks this: it’s not possible to be a little autistic as autism affects everything about you as a person, every minute of the day and it’s not a superpower (I’m not an avenger!!) It’s not a label, but there is a lot of belittling conversation that goes around about autism. It’s tough being autistic and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

My uncle is autistic so I understand what you're saying. I'm not sure I want to go down the diagnosis route, not sure what to do about any of it tbh but thank you for sharing

[@piatawormald6596]

Hi Jessica Neuro diversity is something I’ve been considering for myself, my children and my late husband in more recent years. I feel that we are not neuro typical and we are all demand avoidant and have pervasive demand for autonomy PDA and i follow PDA parenting which is a type of autism. However no diagnosis yet as it’s very difficult to unpick what’s symptoms of complex trauma as there’s a lot of overlap. Living in a NT world is also traumatic for ND too. My son couldn’t manage school so did homelearning for 3 years. And this is probably why he wasn’t diagnosed because adjustments were made for him by me for a more effective learning environment at home. I consider us as highly sensitive people but within the normal spectrum. Dr Naomi Fisher, is worth a read/ watch. She’s a psychologist and a trauma, autistic and alternative learning specialist. We were lucky enough to have one to one appointments without her and I attended her support group for parenting ND. A label and a diagnosis is scary but just accepting our unique individual needs, strengths and weaknesses and making adjustments for these are most important and I seems that your are managing this well and thriving in your world that you have created ❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

thank you so much for sharing. this all makes so much sense and I agree about the trauma / nuance of it all. I'm still processing what I want to do about what was said, if anything. It sounds so complex for you but the awareness you have is truly magic ✨

[@evs8859]

Everything you do is beautiful😍🌸

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Thank you! 😊

[@loveconnection1118]

Hi Jessica, I hope you are well. I'm visiting Chatsworth House today and staying at Ringwood Hall. I wondered if you could suggest any other places in the vicinityfor tomorrow be it cafes/restaurants/somewhere to go etc. Much Love x

[@loveconnection1118]

I did try to look through your old videos but couldn't mind many I'm not sure if you have removed some.x

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Oh have the best time! Go to the tea cottage at Edensor and visit the graves at the church ❤️ Bakewell is always a must and the hassop station cafe / book shop is lovely as is the vintage shop in Baslow village. Enjoy!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I wish I was coming with you ❤️

[@loveconnection1118]

@JessicaRoseWilliams Aww thank you so much for replying! Nearly at Chatsworth now I am definitely going to check out those places you mentioned. I so loved your Bakewell videos xx I hope life is treating you well. Have a wonderful Easter x

[@lynnehewitt920]

I can imagine how much of a surprise is was to hear your therapist give this suggestion of you possibly being Autistic. There does seem to be such a large number of people being diagnosed, especially as adults. This may be because we are now living in a world where we have more knowledge. My grown up daughter, has another theory. She believes it is childhood trauma because, she says. Everyone she knows who shows signs of "Autism" or/and has been diagnosed has had some kind of childhood trauma. I am not sure myself but definitely food for thought.

[@maryb.222]

This was beautiful Jess. Thank you! I love each and every one of your videos, posts and pieces of writing. I’m sending you and Hope a hug 🤗 ❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

So pleased you enjoyed it 🥰 hugs back

[@janewhitewood2634]

Hi Jessica, I love the idea of a natural deodorant but found I got an itchy rash with Wild 😢 so stopped using it at that point. You mention that you needed time to adjust yourself - did this include a skin reaction at first?

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Oh noooooo! I didn’t have a skin reaction but usually that’s a clear sign to stop using. It might be worth getting in touch with them as I’m wondering what their advice would be or whether they’ve have this feedback before?

[@sharonlouisepeters6845]

I had the same and they told me i must be sensitive to the bicarb. They sent me one without but i had the same reaction no matter how long i tried it for. X

[@janewhitewood2634]

I guess that some of us just can't use this product, which is a shame because it's a natural product - always a good thing - which also smells lovely x

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

What a shame 😔

[@pamkroger4419]

Don’t worry about a label from a therapist. Instead, focus on whether therapy is helping you. If it isn’t, move on and Ind a new therapist. There’s no shame in being neurodivergent, but there can be harm if the label isn’t accurate for you. Take care and keep writing!

[@arisonchan]

I think autism is over-diagnosed these days and there are different flavors of neurodivergence, including but not limited to autism. I work with a lot of autistic kids and have friends on the spectrum. I say I have “a sprinkling of the traits” and my own flavor of neurodivergence. That being said I don’t think everyone who’s neurodivergent is autistic.

[@the_lone_wolf4281]

Impressive!

[@latanyanosworthy6489]

Look into Melanie Sykes regarding autism, she had a book released recently. Take care

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I will do. thank you xx

[@carolynnanctildesign]

I had to sit with this for a little while before I could identify what was bothering me about the remark your therapist made. It seems she presented it as a problem, something to be fixed. I wonder, had she not said anything, would you be happy with who you're becoming and the life you're creating for yourself? Please don't let a label throw you off course. As Shakespeare said, "Above all, to thine own self be true." Blessings to you.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@angelapriddy6308]

Very nice❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Thanks 🤗

[@lynnehewitt920]

PS can I just say my comment is about sudden adult diagnosis and not aimed at been diagnosed as a child. I have a nephew who is autistic. I know the day to day struggles.

[@lamochilademary1969]

Jessica, I don know adultos that have been diagnosed, but I would like to tell you more about it in a letter. Where can I send it?

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

email me [e-mail]

[@shanesemathis5568]

Hi Jessica. I haven’t been diagnosed with autism but I’ve also never been to a therapist so I haven’t had any professional analyzation of my personality or habits. I have, however, done some research online several times about whether I could be on the spectrum. I usually have 2-3 symptoms on the list but it doesn’t ever seem like a totally positive diagnosis. I’m not convinced that I’m completely neurotypical, though. Did your therapist tell you why she thinks you’re autistic?

[@evs8859]

There is a KZbinr who has autism. She is called SagaJohanna. Maybe you can learn something about autism from her? ❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

thank you for sharing

[@minimalist_romantic]

You tuber who IS autistic. Autism it’s not something you have but who you are.❤