A History of BAD Star Wars Products

[@slow_start]

Thanks for tuning in guys. You can get an exclusive @Surfshark deal by entering promo code SLOWSTART for an extra 3 months free at surfshark.deals/slowstart

[@zagubionna]

Marfalump 😍

[@MrMightyZ]

Dude those busts that turn in to play sets would be great for young Hannibal Lector types. They love opening up people’s heads and they love making people in to lamps and what-not.

[@mourninggirl8825]

Idk why I can't comment without it being a reply rn. But when people who don't know about star wars love grogu but do not know his name or that he is bot Yoda as a baby are annoying. I don't even really watch star wars anymore but I was like... that's not Yoda

[@zebhill4738]

cringe

[@gregmartell1235]

I'm sill big Fan of Star Wars ❤ I love Star Wars 😍

[@garrettbuell3172]

Funniest thing to me about Grogu merch is that for season 1, we didn’t know his name. But for some reason merchandisers love slapping the name of the thing on whatever they are making in addition to the thing itself. Put Boba Fett on a t-shirt? Gotta have the words “Boba Fett” on it too. But again, Grogu wasn’t named until season 2. That didn’t stop merchandisers putting the words “The Child” on everything. I thought it was dumb and ruined potentially good merch then, and now I think it’s funny that it was only really relevant for one year.

[@slow_start]

I was thinking the same thing while putting together the segment.

[@Hyonicon]

That guy was the shortest trend I seen in my lifetime to have merch involved with it

[@vengeanceconscious9774]

That’s not their fault, they could have called him anything, Lucas film didn’t have a name because the leader die fuher kennedy, doesn’t have a fucking clue what they’re doing. Names like green dildo Tiny yodal The thing Green machine ,wouldn’t have been out of the lists of what it could of possibly been at that time.

[@dimsumboy22]

Same with ewoks. They aren’t named in the movie. But the merch at the time has their names

[@Popebug]

​@@dimsumboy22That's kind of the opposite of what he's talking about.

[@willandwillstudios]

I actually met the voice actor of Marfalump (Billy West of Futurama fame) at Atlanta once and got him to autograph my fan art piece and he was amazed like as if he found a treasure map or something.

[@Mordecrox]

I like when actors and the like light up when someone is aware of obscure trivia about them, just see how Pierce Brosnan gets when he learns the interviewer is from his hometown. However I would advise against bringing up Grossology if you ever meet Charles Martinet

[@Fetidaf]

You met Billy West!? That’s awesome and I’m totally not jealous…

[@frofrozzty]

I knew I recognized that voice! Meeting legendary voice actors is always a blast, I met Hank Azaria at an audition once and we shared a brief convo over a cig. I have no idea what he was there for and I didn't get the part, but it's THE greatest experience of my life.

[@thecampingyeen2524]

@@Mordecroxhow come? Did something in the show make him not wanna remember it? Or was it big mean Nintendo wanting him to not voice things outside of Mario?

[@andrewwinslow9315]

The fact Billy West's only Star Wars credit is that is depressing. He's one of the best Voice Actors of all time, yet he never was in a Star Wars Show?

[@teddyobrien4801]

Marfalump would’ve been substantially better if his backstory was that he had travelled billions of light years to earth for the sole purpose of watching The Phantom Menace in theaters. While also trying Pepsi.

[@slow_start]

I like this better already

[@therealspeedwagon1451]

We need to petition Disney to make him canon in the Star Wars universe. We need a Marfalumpan species who all love Pepsi.

[@abigailsanchez4663]

Marfalump could work better than the Alien who likes Coca Cola and Mcdonalds (and it's a parody of E.T.)

[@xaikken]

Still better than rey skywalker

[@teddyobrien4801]

@@slow_start And every commercial focuses on a different leg of his journey

[@bootsthecat6718]

"how do we let people know this horrible nightmare bug is supposed to be from Star wars?" "Let's give him a shirt that says Star wars"

[@ImpetuouslyInsane]

It felt like the guys that did the VFX for Men in Black were reusing an unused design for Star Wars crap for the Pepsi stuff.

[@RossBunceFKK]

Or Star Trek…

[@kMegalonyx]

I like that in-universe it just kind of indicates a general support of conflict

[@frogboi7]

That JarJar candy is hilarious, it’s so funny to me that you’re basically forced to make out with him if you want to eat the whole thing without removing it

[@pisscvre69]

it looks like a fleshlight

[@moist1700]

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure sucking on his tongue is a bit more than making out with him lmao 😂

[@IAMAGIRLNOTAGUY]

I would make out with Jar Jar if I could

[@gnomeitar2299]

Playin tonsil hockey for a sweet treat

[@tiraXpyrrha]

Ashens made a hilarious video about it a few years ago.

[@tgiacin435]

I love the baby Yoda bop it game. It’s you being told by Dinn Djaran to physically abuse a baby. It gets me every time

[@TheRealCaptainFreedom]

“Baby” Yoda is like 50-something though.

[@elecmagpulse7385]

My immediate first thought when seeing it for the first time was essentially “Hey look, scout trooper simulator.”

[@JacobAwsum]

@@TheRealCaptainFreedom still clearly a baby. Different creatures age different speeds.

[@TheRealCaptainFreedom]

@@JacobAwsum It’s a muppet, my guy.

[@Rafael_R]

​@@TheRealCaptainFreedom Even having lived for 50 years, he would still have the mental capacity of a baby/toddler. So in his case, years don't accurately describe his "age".

[@SleeplessStreams]

I love that Pepsi was wasting time with Marfulump meanwhile Lays had the brilliant idea to include puzzle pieces in the chip bags to build an Episode II collage, brilliant toy

[@ViktorErikFade]

Yo, It would be pretty cool just like getting a prize in cereal to also get one in chips . Wonder how many people actually did that and still have the thing

[@EdnaK728]

Those Pepsi commercials were annoying af and I hated them

[@Tacticaldroidanimations]

they're owed by the same company

[@DrFranklynAnderson]

Those were so cool. The first time I’d ever seen a lithophane. Blew my mind when I held it up to the light!

[@cooliostarstache5474]

Marfalump is the key to all of this

[@churlishgrin2945]

I had the Chewbacca landscape head and I basically refused to play with it as a kid because the idea of opening chewies head made me feel so dead inside I could cry

[@dresdenwarlock7978]

As someone that was 10 in '97, I got Luke's green lightsaber, and let me tell you. Those things absolutely DID NOT extend with a push of a button. In fact the bottom tube didn't even go inside. You had to flick it out. But we were happy with it!

[@abbieurick1182]

My first lightsaber was an Anakin one back in 2005. I miss the old flick blade

[@RoachDoggJr2112]

We had those well until the early 2010s. Good times.

[@parkpiggy]

I had the same one! The flicking made it way cooler, imo. More physically involved. It pumped you up!

[@Luna-Starfrost]

I had such a half extendable one too. I had one from Qui-Gon-Jin tho. As a kid, I did a lot of sparing with it, actually. These ones were extremely sturdy. They were basicly a telescope bat with a Star Wars skin.

[@PlayMadness]

I always hated the ones that didn't go all the way into the handle, they just telescoped down into the first segment of the blade. I would always prefer the blade to go all the way down into the handle than have a light in the hilt to kind of light it up.

[@TheInvaderisHere]

I’m gonna be honest, Marfalump was probably a better idea than using an actual character. Like, imagine if you saw Jar Jar or C3P0 telling you to go drink some Pepsi. That just sounds weird to me.

[@Big_RandyTM]

I feel like Jawas would’ve worked well as Pepsi mascots.

[@wodensol5000]

​@@Big_RandyTMActually genius idea. Strangely, for some reason, it would work. But if you tried it with ewoks...nah. but a precursor baby Yoda idea? That definitely would have sold...but we can see that in retrospect given the Grogu hype. Jawa pepsi addict approach would have been genius. Market it as their version of water in the tattoine wasteland. They have entire kegs of it, a fridge of it and nothing else. After a long hard day of scavenging, they go back to the triangle thing and smash back pepsi like they're addicted to drugs

[@Big_RandyTM]

@@wodensol5000 yes

[@songsofchaos]

@@wodensol5000wow makes me want a pepsi

[@creed8712]

I say that’s about on par with being told coke and sprite are canon to the new stuff by way of how galaxies edge is contextualized

[@NineNerdYards]

But do yall remember the Ep 1 Pepsi machines with young Anakin? Apparently there's still one in Pittsburgh that fans go and visit. One day I will make the pilgrimage there to pay my respects.

[@holdenbaldassi3697]

They had one at storybook park in Ontario Canada I remember seeing when I was like 5

[@lawrencecalablaster568]

My parents are teachers, & their school had (& I think still has) a R2D2 Pepsi cooler.

[@StrumstarHammer]

Yeah I remember the first wave of lightsabers didn't automatically extend, but it meant you got to do a quick whip motion to extend it and frankly that made it feel way cooler. It was even cooler when it actually extended all the way in one go instead of getting stuck at half mast.

[@pisscvre69]

getting it to extend was a game in and of itself and this totally cant be taken out of context

[@Giaphaige]

I would just stand there and repeatedly extend it for like an hour lol

[@ndlmous]

That was one of my favorite toys growing up, we used to have all kinds of Battle Royale in the trailer park 😆 and I agree, definitely felt like a badass with the whip motion

[@snoopy3372]

I’ve still got those… good times

[@ProjectImpossibleOfficial]

I think they could pull off making Marfalump canon again. I feel like he would fit right in with Galaxy's Edge at the Disney Parks. That tells a story, doesn't it? He could literally sell pepsi to park guests. Am I crazy for saying this??

[@furious_george_]

Well, Disneyland carries Coca-Cola products. Also, there is an actual 'Coca-Cola' entry in wookiepedia, meaning that Coca-Cola is canon in the Star Wars universe according to Disney. I guess Pepsi really fumbled that one.

[@garrettbuell3172]

I want Coke to insist on having Marfalumps corpse in the park as payback to the coke death star

[@slow_start]

@@furious_george_ This is devastating for Pepsi.

[@ProjectImpossibleOfficial]

@@furious_george_ Hmmm... I wonder if they would be allowed to switch his whole personality to be coke-based, then. I'd love to see Marfalump selling coke at Galaxy's Edge... (The drink, not the other thing O_O)

[@lylelylecrocodile2538]

@@ProjectImpossibleOfficial what about both?😳

[@PunishedKrab]

“Squeeze the Hutt’s head to ooze his slimy treat” The internet has absolutely ruined a sentence like that for me completely

[@devinsmith4790]

The reason you kept sniffing that expired Jabba goo (that's gonna be taken out of context I'm sure) is because you wanted to make sure your brain wasn't fooling you into thinking it really smelled that bad.

[@slow_start]

man, it was the most CURIOUS scent I have ever inhaled. I wish I could describe it better. It truly smelled like it was from another planet.

[@toasterwaffle456]

My only thought clicking this video was hoping the barfing goo toy would be included. I still remember ruining multiple carpets/furniture with that stuff 😂

[@mattalan6618]

@@toasterwaffle456 before my time but ive read that it would get everywhere if not careful

[@dylanmahaffey8920]

​@slow_start a galaxy far far away perhaps?

[@blakemcmillan5680]

Jabba Goo🤌

[@MildMisanthropeMaybeMassive]

I am here for the Star Wars branded Baby Yoda hand sanitizer that was recalled due to it containing methanol and benzene which are carcinogenic and smell bad.

[@Vincentmyd]

😂

[@L0rdOfThePies]

Damn, another case of the jojo siwa asbestos makeup And honestly“baby yoda hand sanitizer” is the most 2020 thing ever, funny it ended that way though

[@Ag3nt-MC]

15:01 REALLY fun story here, my brother was a massive star was fan when the clone wars animated series was still releasing new stuff. So for his 5th birthday they had a bakery make a Star Wars cake. Thing was, copyright existed, so they send A letter to George Lucas, asking for permission to use Star Wars characters on the cake. George sends back A SIGNED LETTER wishing my brother a happy birthday. I wasn’t capable of memories at the time, so I just gotta take my dads word for it.

[@Jack_Stafford]

The balloon lightsaber was notorious, they all developed leaks immediately and they even came with sticky repair patches because they knew that instantaneous leaks were guaranteed. In the past the reason for its existence was explained that the "peace craving environment immediately following the Vietnam War" had soured the public on toy weapons of any kind, which is why there were so few children's sword and weapon toys created at that time. And the ones that were eventually released I guess were justified by having a warning saying adult supervision only or age 12 and up. A simple hollow, coloured tube would have been the easiest thing to make and would have sold millions and been no more dangerous than pogo sticks or wiffle ball bats, but they still hesitated. I eventually used a hollow aluminum tube stuck in a rubber bicycle handle grip, far more dangerous than any plastic tube would have been. They didn't even allow a semi rigid foam lightsaber at that time. But a few years later (before the actual good retractable ones with sound), a holllow hard plastic (non-retractable) tube with a flashlight in the end was made, with holes in it so when it was swung it would make a kind of whistling sound, like blowing over the opening of a bottle, and those weren't so bad; you could actually conk someone over the head with it without it popping and going limp. I had the balloon version to go with my Darth Vader Halloween costume that my mom made. Yes it popped before the end of the night. At least the flashlight worked.

[@LordArikado]

I still think it's funny that toys based on sci-fi weapons were seen as too taboo or too risky in the late 70's, but lawn darts weren't.

[@CardboardSliver]

Can we talk about the fact hes talking Star Wars while wearing a Star Trek The Next Generation shirt. I love it.

[@slow_start]

After over 100k views and 600 comments, you are literally the first person to point this out.

[@caseco4979]

​@@slow_startit gave me an amazing sense of superiority during the video, thank you. Just dont do a star trek merch video please. 😊

[@Andy_the_Collector925]

​@@slow_start*T R A I T O R!!!*

[@cocacola7845]

OMG I gave the "Jabba Glob" to my friend as a birthday gift when I was 10. I had no idea what my mum had wrapped as a gift and when he opened it, I was sooo JEALOUS. I might have to buy one too

[@captlazer5509]

Mego didn't reject Star Wars. That is a toy industry myth. The Mego Corp owner Marty Abrams was in Japan getting the rights to Micronauts at the time the Star Wars license was being shopped around. Kenner offices in NYC was in the same building along with other toy companies. Kenner was in the right place at the right time to scoop the Star Wars toy license in 1976.

[@c.bretmiller6148]

Well, considering he didn't know how to even pronounce the name of the company properly, I wouldn't expect him to know that.

[@Andy_the_Collector925]

And Less than 20 years later, Jurassic Park walked through the door, and-

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

I love Star Wars to death (as I'm sure you can tell by my profile name) but even I thought things were going too far when Disney started slapping Star Wars stickers on Dole Bananas. No, I'm not joking. They were literally using fruit to market Star Wars.

[@MmmMmph1968]

I feel like I've seen you comment at all of the channels that I watch Quit stalking me

[@Mordecrox]

At least these weren't Chiquitas

[@abaddungeonmaster7622]

I’ve literally seen bags of oranges with BB-8 on them, so, stickers on bananas doesn’t surprise me. Amuse? Oh absolutely! But after having to shred open a printed BB-8 to supply a citrus for part of my lunch, nothing surprises me with the strange marketing they did.

[@Lasagna_Garfield_]

Like when Shrek was slapped on onion bags except that makes sense

[@hotrod4013]

I remember seeing Plain ass cans of corn with Elsa and the frozen logo slapped on them. No shame in this game loll

[@Daniel2GIGG]

It should be known that when the mandalorian s1 came out, rise of Skywalker also came out and Disney focused all the marketing on ros and didn't expect the mandalorian to be such a hit so it was months and months after Christmas 2019 that grogu merch actually hit shelves, very similar story to when the 1st star wars came out

[@Panimal98]

Not to mention that they reaaaaally wanted that plot twist to stay hidden.

[@PlayMadness]

This wasn't really a "They didn't know it would be popular" problem, Disney didn't want *anyone* to know there was another Yoda, so no Grogu merchandise was commissioned until after the first season released.

[@DavidGonzalez-tv2lf]

When I was a child, lightsaber bootlegs were very common cheap toys on circus, festivals and touristic places, and most of them were a plastic envelope with some Christmas's lights on the inside and the cheapest sound chip available. A lot of them were orange, yellow or even rainbow colored. Fun times, anyway.

[@richborn6700]

Lightsaber? Nah these here are "Laser Swords"

[@DavidGonzalez-tv2lf]

@@richborn6700 actually, we called them that way back them. And R2D2 was "Arturito" and Star Wars was "the war of the galaxies"

[@Frostaltered]

While ive never really been a Star Wars fan, I do remember going to the Barnum & Bailey Circus as a kid in the mid 2000s and wanting those so badly. I year my great grandmother let my brother and I get one since in those dark places youd see hundreds of those sabers wiggling around and glowing. My brother and I did in fact have a sword duel once we got back home.

[@xenomorph1312]

I work retail, and we have so much Grogu merch. I'm talking pillow cases, decorative pillows, clocks, Bluetooth speakers, plushies and dolls, beach towels, and ton of different types of toys. It's ridiculous

[@slow_start]

BUT HE'S SOOOOOO CUTE

[@richborn6700]

Grogu is basically the only character on any of my toddlers clothes from birth. Either it says STAR WARS or his Grogu. Not even R2 is represented anymore

[@lumbagoboi1649]

He was popular for like a year and then Disney quickly realized they finally did something right so they killed the show with season3 and left every Walmart isle across America stocked with grogus doomed to peg warm for eternity lol

[@TimmehJay]

Pepsi's marketing at that time was very much "Pepsi is fun to drink" so it wasn't such a weird thing to say at the time.

[@Makocat]

Funny how I've never heard about that pepsi mascot and I've been a starwars fan for 26 years. I was there for the special editions and episode 1. This is literally the first time I ever hear of it.

[@alannevin2490]

Same here!

[@nhronin]

Ditto!

[@chewy99.]

I found it on wookieepedia like a couple months ago and was very confused lol

[@behindthescenesphotos5133]

I was 14 when Phantom Menace came out, so I remember the commercials. Haven't thought about it in years. I was taping all the Simpsons episodes at the time and kept all the Phantom Menace commercials. Taped them all over when I got over The Simpsons.

[@DrFranklynAnderson]

Maybe it was a regional thing? I also don’t remember Tamagotchis-the popular brand here in the Midwest was called Giga Pets.

[@EmonWBKstudios]

They should give Marfalump his own Disney+ series.

[@Аноним-д3я]

It's gonna be like ugly sonic scene in chip n dale movie

[@dextergrif]

I appreciate the use of Battlefront death and menu sounds throughout this video. So much nostalgia just from those sounds.

[@SchardtCinematic]

I can still remember the Star Wars Episode 1 hype like it was yesterday. I regret not buying a Jar Jar tongue lollipop. Not to eat. But to preserve and archive that craziness back then.

[@slow_start]

Seriously, man. It must have been mania. I caught the tail end of the prequel trilogy craze when I was a kid in '05. Too young for the stuff from '99. But from what I recall, the marketing insanity surrounding 2 & 3 paled in comparison to the phantom menace.

[@SchardtCinematic]

@slow_start OH man you missed out on I think the most hyped film in history besides seeing Bullet Time in the Matrix in 1999. My best friend and I went and saw the Matrix. Then a week or two later saw Star Wars Episode 1. It was great!

[@PlayMadness]

Me and my cousin spent months trying to collect every character can. We did get them all! That was the greatest accomplishment of my life.

[@samivayajd]

​@@slow_start 92 baby, I remember the happy meal merch of the time! The boxes were decked out on all sides with movie scenes from the pod race. The most common imagery was Amedala in full makeup or Darth Maul.

[@ApostateOfMind42]

Again, your presence is a huge boon to the video, especially the comedy. Your commitment to the bits warms my heart and the editing has perfect timing as always. I love wondering whether I learned more about something or was entertained more by how I was informed. Bravo Slow.

[@slow_start]

Your comments always warm my heart, dude. Thank you for your continued support. I always look forward to hearing from you, and I'm so glad you're enjoying the new content.

[@ojgsk8ter]

Your delivery and the way you carry yourself on camera is superb. The subject matter itself had me interested but your camera presence hooked me really quickly. Very funny and pleasant to listen to and gives off big - this guy knows what he’s talking about vibes.

[@slow_start]

Thank you so much for this kind comment! I try to make my videos as accurate and informative as possible :)

[@actually_yali]

The lego sounds when you were putting Jar Jar's head together killed me lmao

[@Lutivos]

Ive seen Marfalump on some vintage t-shirts before, never knew what the character was. Prices are usually around $300 from what I remember, pretty hard to find online

[@apaceofchange94]

Crazy part is it was $10 for an XL shirt in 99

[@hilariousskullnamedcatzo647]

"so guys, how are we going to make luke's aunt and uncle?" *"make them as charred skeletons"* "Great idea"

[@Chronically0nline]

Except those were not real product. This video misses the mark in a few areas..

[@Shadowkey392]

@@Chronically0nlineno, they were. Do a google search for “Kenner uncle Owen” and it’s literally the first image that comes up. And if you look up “Kenner uncle Owen skeleton” you’ll see even more.

[@Moosems-pk8vc]

Honestly, if that was an inside joke, it was perfect.

[@CoryTheNorm]

​@@Chronically0nline Damn, I really wanted to believe they were real. I'd buy those in a heartbeat lol

[@benfenner7496]

Nothing quite like a 1999 unsuckled jar jar binks cherry flavoured tongue in mint condition. Extra flavour if it's fermented

[@aaylacruise]

Brilliant video, Thanks for crediting me for the music. So many big creators like Nerdrotic just use it without credit 😅

[@slow_start]

Absolutely! You've put together some incredible compositions!!

[@ZiddersRooFurry]

That's because Nerdrotic's a jerk.

[@Sonic_The_Hedgedog_Reddit]

Yeah, Nerdrotic used your music in his video. He never credits anyone which is extremely disappointing. *Sigh...*

[@ccaulkins94]

As a lifelong Star Wars fan since age 4 (born in 94) most of these were never bad ideas and you sir have given me a heavy nostalgic trip to my childhood with the Jar Jar stuff, the lightsabers, the Jabba Glob….I either owned or wanted half of what you showed and it makes me want to go back and appreciate what I didn’t at the time Sad thing is I owned a Jabba Glob that got lost in a move and was never opened and I still kick myself to this day for losing it

[@jamison85]

I'm also not a fan of Grogu, and for the exact same reason as I dislike the Minions and the penguins from Madagascar - they work well within their source material, but got milked for cash to excite little children. The memes are much the same deal for both Minions and Grogu, it doesn't even have to make sense, just slap that face on it and watch the middle-aged housewives multiply it on social media.

[@xeno676]

Those grogu plushes are so annoying when I am trying to find Star Wars figures. Just tons of them.

[@kelownatechkid]

Super well done! The TT lego game noises was a clever touch. Everything post-disney is pretty much bad lol.

[@TylerL220]

Okay, I'll give you obi wan and boba Fett. But man, Andor was bad? Not imo, one of the best star wars things to come out in a while.

[@specxlaw]

Andor, Mando, Rogue One, Bad Batch are all great. The Lego specials also have been fun afaik.

[@NuteGunray]

⁠@@specxlawRebels (post S2) and Battlefront II are also good

[@megabuster3940]

​@@TylerL220 give it time, Disney will find a way to ruin it just like Mandalorian

[@lukew6725]

@@TylerL220 Easily the best Star Wars thing in 40 years but unfortunately that's just one good thing in a sea of garbage.

[@AleCat2305]

Funny that now at the parks disney sells Coke in the star wars section and pepsi is nowhere to be seen

[@RRSlugger]

Darth Maul! One of your best videos yet! Keep hitting these home runs! 👌

[@slow_start]

Thank you Slugger and all the best with the rest of TSOS!!!! You are forever in my recommended, haha.

[@RRSlugger]

@@slow_start Thank you!! ❤

[@Mothbean]

It's everyone's favorite slug!

[@Nedmac]

18:43 I was that guy. (I owned that one) I remember having fun making double bladed configurations. Also in my opinion the peak Baby Yoda cult was the actor who played the Scout Trooper who hit Grogu receiving death threats. I found that just really brain dead.

[@rolfathan]

Micro machines were the best Star Wars toys. I hated the head transformations, but they had some great ones that made more sense, like the death star playset. The scale made so much more sense than the bigger toys. I love baby yoda, but I don't want all the merch. I got a figure of Mando, and Baby Yoda. But I gotta admit, I have a porg collection though. Haha Having more of them makes more sense to my mind simply because there were actually lots of porgs on the island. There's only one baby yoda.

[@PatriciaCross]

While the Ewoks definitely had marketability in mind when created, you can actually blame the Ewoks spinoffs on the TV Network. It was more the success of their marketability that led to that than actual intent to make those spinoffs. The thing they were most likely designed to market were plushies. Had they figured out they could have made cute plushies out of pretty much every character (like they do now) rather than design characters that were literal teddy bears, they probably would have stuck with Wookies. And you can follow the success of R2Ds and Yoda to the inevitability of Ewoks. They wanted the loveable appeal that these characters had in a easy to make plushie that they could sell multiple different versions of.

[@ddsjgvk]

y from what I heard they didn't use rookies in episode 6 was because the costume is would have been too expensive. Ewoks was made because of a budget reason because I guess having like 10 people walking around in Chewbacca suits is too much money

[@reddeadspartan]

Iirc, due to Baby Yeed being a secret, a lot of companies didn't actually have merch ready when the first episode of the show dropped. Hasbro was a big one, we didn't get a figure of him for awhile. I don't think Disney quite realised how big baby Yoda would actually be.

[@heman6428]

Speaking about Baby Yoda; I used to work at a school district in technology where I would fix projectors and computers and what not. At one of the schools I worked at there was a Teacher who was obsessed with Baby Yoda and in her room she had Baby Yoda stuffed animals, posters, stickers and even memes; she would even wear a Baby Yoda shirt occasionally. Also, this was in 2023 which is a good amount after the Baby Yoda craze. So I can understand hating a lovable character who in all actuality is just another cog in the Disney money making machine.

[@browneyemastermind]

That very well may have been my stepmom. Lol

[@L0rdOfThePies]

As a former highschooler i can tell you everyone’s school had one

[@nathanforester5993]

The 1997 Jabba figure is supposed to be of the CGI Jabba from the deleted scene of A New Hope's special editiion, originally Jabba was supposed to be in it but at the time they used a real human actor when the original version came out, and then they re-released new hope and made it a 'special edition' and put the CGI jabba in.

[@ViktorErikFade]

Seeing a young guy actually use the $50 dollar bubble bath soap and it still WORKS Did make me smile and laugh a little yes . You sir are committed to the bit I would have just put it on a shelf and wondered why I bought it

[@brycevo]

They've made lightsaber toys worse. They no longer hide the blade fully in the hilt. Now the bottom part of the blade is always extended.

[@4477superman]

They’ve been like that for decades though

[@waltrz]

Worse still, those are (or atleast were) the more expensive ones, I remeber the cheep 5 dollar ones would completely nest in the handle but if you wanted one that lights up and makes noises, you had to have the first segment permanently out.

[@EvilDick1995]

They were like that in the early 2000s?

[@tacticaljunk1608]

The customizable lightsaber looks like the Star Wars version of those mall ninja weapons.

[@Beeegdix]

I remember those head transformers very well. Starwars micro machines were fantastic

[@slow_start]

Yess!!!

[@Someguyfromtheinternet36]

If that...THING is a "Baby" then i'm going full Order 66 "Terror of the Younglings" Anakin

[@chuckschwa]

Great video Slow! I totally remember the dancing JarJar and Jabba slime from back in the day! I'm so glad you pulled those 2 out because they were the ones that really stuck out to me back then, such crazy times

[@slow_start]

Thank you as always Chuck! I am very proud of my dancing jar-jar. Still wish I could've found the jar-jar lollipop online...

[@chuckschwa]

@@slow_start I remember the 1998 Godzilla film also did a "tongue pop" 😆

[@bjmanzey]

You really had to be there for micro machines. Micro machines got a LOT of playtime in my house. I had the Darth Vader one and let me tell you I played with that every day.

[@KalvinStrange]

The micro machines were the best! Could really make large scale battles.

[@braxerax5553]

Oh my god everytime you said marfalump with increased seriousness i laughed even harder. Seriously though how did i never know about this Pepsi alien?? Where did you find that documentary btw?

[@slow_start]

Right here on KZbin! It's quite unappreciated. I think it only has about 300 views.

[@braxerax5553]

​@@slow_startokay the fact that it's a video just called "marfalump.mp4" and it was uploaded 6 months ago is insane. God bless the guy that uploaded that

[@taxisalad]

the way the jabba toy drooled out the slime was genuinely horrific; real body horror shit

[@Mexicanman750]

I can finally have happiness again, new SS video 🎉

[@gfgsr]

Poor choice of acronyms

[@andypitchless]

Oh wow! I my cellphone also had the Star Wars theme back in '77!! Such cherished memories.

[@Makocat]

I'm also shocked my first lightsaber toys were the first good lightsaber toys as well. Too bad they broke from too much use but most of the hilt still remains. I loved them. Very fond memories playing with my dad and going out trick or treating dressed as RoTJ luke and vader

[@richborn6700]

Dude YES!! I still remember being 12 in Halloween 2005 dressed in all black with the one glove as Ep. 6 Luke complete with my light up green lightsaber from Christmas the year before

[@chel9064]

I get annoyed when company's over use a character for profit and I never did buy any of the merchandise but "Baby Yoda" was about one of the cutest things I've seen lol

[@ortoacademy1019]

Well he was specifically designed to be that way in a marketing focus group, so it's not a surprise really

[@MusicFromAnotherTime]

A few weeks ago I actually got some new in package 3D glow in the dark Darth maul stickers from a vintage toy shop. Definitely worth the 5 bucks.

[@slow_start]

Phantom Menace really had the best merch, hands down.

[@theonegoose]

The sniff counter was a great addition to tie everything in.

[@bottledwaterprod]

Okay I could be wrong, but I've been collecting Star Wars stuff a looooong time and I'm fairly certain the Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru figures were just custom figures posted as a joke.

[@CloneCommanderCrater1102]

You are correct, those are not real figures.

[@JesseDiebolt]

I had to Google those lol

[@annonymat]

If I was kenner, I would have made the empty Box some kind of supscription, but prepayed. Every box-owner gets an action figure every month for one year. here you go, no product in store, but still sold

[@medleystudios72]

I'm unaware of any Star Wars products released in the years 1988 - 1990. I think the claim that something was released every single year may be a bit inaccurate.

[@nordtwentysix]

Yeah and they DEFINITELY sold light sabers that were hard plastic and didn't retract. Usually sold loose in a big box in green and I'm pretty sure red plastic sabers. They made a weird sound when it was swung. I'm pretty damn sure they sold them starting with The Empire Strikes Back line. Way before the Ewoks cartoon

[@robbycooper6787]

18:34 I think that’s what you want to use when you get sent to the Star Wars universe, you are right behind darth sidious, your toys became real, and the writers were replaced by literal children.

[@batman2021]

Highly educational as always. Never knew where Equatorial Guinea was before or how important Surfshark was for me and my family.

[@slow_start]

LOL

[@DarthBoardBVE]

It’s not the only one (or even the first). Ecuador literally means equator in Spanish. (I gotta represent; my wife’s Ecuadorian.)

[@jimcat68]

I feel more knowledgeable now that I know that Surfshark doesn't sell surfing products or sharks.

[@nicholaslienandjaja1815]

Fun fact: I have a Grogu plushie. Some idiot threw it away after winning it at a claw machine game, and it was STILL IN GOOD CONDITION! So I ended up adopting the poor guy and welcomed it to my plushie collection (Grogu is now friends with my Tyrannosaurus rex plushie, my shark plushie, my Mega Charizard X plushie, and my Godzilla plushie).

[@nicholaslienandjaja1815]

Also, ideas for future bad/weird merchandise videos: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Anime Pokemon Super Mario Bros. Sonic the Hedgehog Transformers Power Rangers Garfield SpongeBob SquarePants Harry Potter Jurassic Park/World Marvel DC Godzilla Despicable Me (only one word: Minions) Five Nights at Freddy’s

[@melvinz1238]

Great video! The wacky products really let you work more comedy into it, I liked that.

[@slow_start]

Thank you friend! More to come :]

[@MrMightyZ]

I had the yellow, blow-up lightsaber with a very ordinary black torch as its handle. My Dad put a lower wattage bulb in the torch so it shone brighter. But it still flopped whenever you swung it and was so pathetic that all I could do was use it in the dark, standing still and looking at myself in the mirror and squinting to make it look almost real so long as I kept blowing it up as much as possible which killed it in the end by popping it. Truly one of the most crapulent toys I can remember. Grandma bought me ALL the other toys and I loved them all besides that floppy yellow disgrace. WHY YELLOW? I clearly still have issues with it.

[@QuintusCunctator]

Well, marketing people being completely tone deaf and living in their own fabricated universe is a classic. Relating to the examples in this video: yes, the Hieronimus Bosch-inspired openable heads are baffling, but in my opinion nothing beats the 90s Crystal Pepsi campaign push. There is on KZbin a Crystal Pepsi training video for employees that is the epitome of this reality bending attitude, which works... Until it doesn't, and comes back crashing down.

[@BrandEver117]

I had an earlier version of the "build your own" lightsaber, called the "Ultimate Lightsaber (Build Your Own Lightsaber)" that was actually pretty cool. It was just a basic blank hilt that had a bunch of different parts you could add on to decorate it (I think they were mostly elements of the movie ones with a couple unique ones thrown in). It had a red blade and a clear blade with plastic lenses so you could change the color (it mostly only kinda worked in the dark), and a little opening where you could switch out the plastic kyber crystals.

[@kabukiaku]

OKAY THIS- this was recommended to me and I had a blast watching it. The hands-on segment was too damn good, I had many laughs throughout it. even took a screenshot of the Jabba the Glob toy because of how WACKY it is. I absolutely lost it there, that's going in my folder of Star Wars out of context memes---congrats, you earned it.

[@slow_start]

very excited to finally be immortalized within someone's meme folder.

[@dbreid903]

I had that Chewie head micromachine for Ep VI and the Battle Droid one from Ep I. There was also a Hoth battle box. Had a lot of fun with them back in the day

[@EdnaK728]

Well I have a tiny battery powered fan with a cheap little Kylo Ren figurine on it... I got it for Christmas and it had candy in a tiny compartment in the bottom

[@claykennedy6790]

I was 9 when Episode 1 came out. I had a ton of merch, books, action figures, corporate tie ins, whatever I could get my hands on. I was as obsessed as a kid could be with that film at the time. I have no memory of Marfalump, at all. Which makes me think it wasn't as big a deal as it seems, OR, it was so traumatic that my little kid brain erased it from the archives to spare me the madness that would surely follow.

[@porterbrown836]

18:13 imagine if you're a jedi and then the sith you're fighting pulls up with a bootleg asgore's trident

[@DerNomade1871]

Hmm, for the pepsi one, I would've just had ewan mcgregor play his Obi Wan character that pulls a bottle of pepsi to him with the force, and after he sips it, say "another refreshing beverage" But I think I'm making too much sense for american marketing

[@stevengodoy315]

It’s refreshing to see you’ve actually done your homework and research for this video

[@AkiDave]

The bubble bath segment made me wheeze

[@StraightOtohGunga]

First of your videos I've seen and it was great. Some hilarious edits, jokes and also spot on in a documentary sort of way for all of the old footage. Well done!

[@MsSquid-8]

Man I can’t wait to hear about weird Star Trek products! (edit) ; (

[@slow_start]

I have some really bad news

[@BloodAsp]

Oh no

[@hilariousskullnamedcatzo647]

​@@slow_start*you already blew all of the funds?* 😰

[@slow_start]

@@hilariousskullnamedcatzo647 Mr. Squid's comment was made before the premiere of the video so the context is all out of wack now haha. Don't worry, you have not seen the last of me spending bad amounts of money on merch from Ebay!

[@MsSquid-8]

As THE Mr squid, I can confirm that the comment was made before the video premiered

[@motormatt1222]

I am absolutely LOVING your content! Being 29, I love your nostalgic videos and history!

[@BryanSalazarAyala]

This was pretty entertaining. All things considered, the Jaba Glob was intriguing and kinda wanna own 😂

[@ignika1407]

Oh, I remember that Jabba Glob thing, I saw commercials on tv! Repressed memory unlocked! The slimy toys sure was an era that existed

[@6bladek]

I will claim my Pedro Pascal comment was in fact a prophecy, your videos are great man I love it! You're killing it

[@slow_start]

thank you papi!

[@jessypawlowski3201]

I got that Jaba toy really young and had it for well over 15 years, glob still intact. His smell reaction is no exaggeration, I can still smell it till this day. The sound it makes in the container, the way it looks, and the smell it had are permeant fixtures of my childhood memories.

[@dustinsensenig9798]

I remember seeing the Pepsi commercials with the little alien. I think the idea was to collect all the characters on cans from Pepsi products, while trying to find the golden Yoda

[@jacen51423]

I forgot about the Jaba Glob toy, but I had that as a kid and this unlocked memories that I think were locked away for a reason. I remember getting bored of the toy after doing it like 3 times and then just playing with the goo like it was one of those 'slime toys' until it solidified. By the end, it was full of random debris and I'm pretty sure it got stuck in the carpet in my parent's basement and there is still a stain from it to this day.

[@arthurbodet1231]

18:53 two more pieces and you get Darth Himler's saber

[@jaredbezes7806]

I can only imagine how much those very first Star Wars action figures are worth these days.

[@Goodroosters]

Baby Yoda is really a character designed from the bottom up for merch, same with BB8, and those ewoks.

[@NovaCosmo]

Every once in a while when this channel uploads it's nice to see how well it's doing. I was there in the Lego Racers 2 stream that spawned the discord server and your subscriber count is up by a whole order of magnitude! Glad to see you're having fun with this, I also had fun sitting here watching... a rubber Jabba the Hutt puke slime all over his gross slug man body. Somehow. Anyway keep it up, you have a great way of presenting things and your videos are always a treat!

[@slow_start]

Thank you!! So happy you're still around!!!

[@purplehaze2358]

Am I the only person who didn't take much of a problem with that picture of the dog with human eyes? I don't know, I've seen enough dogs with very human-like eyes to where that didn't really bother me or grab my attention. I probably wouldn't even be able to tell it had human eyes if he didn't say it.

[@RoozleDoozle-9210]

Oh btw the double loaded lightsaber did exist already before maul, it was in one of the comics series. Funny thing is that one was blue, but still wielded by a dark sider.

[@MVZUWL938]

I had the galoob jar jar😂. Shit was fire cause it was micro machines! Polly pockets were also big back then! 😂

[@RexVergstrong]

Ackshually, Maul's double saber wasn't a first for the franchise. They appeared on the Tales Of The Jedi comics a couple of years before.

[@mr.goodboi2780]

You remind me of a friend I had, same sense of humor. I laughed out loud many times. 😂 Good video, I look forward to future ones.