a letter to my best friend

here for you always
-
i recorded this all the way back in december. sorry it took this long to send.
it's the last video i'm going to post on this channel.
thank you everyone.

[@YottaVR]

I think the hardest part will be leaving this era of my life. I've been Yotta for almost ten years, but I can't do it anymore. It reminds me of too much pain, too many broken promises, too much crying. I feel stuck with it, unable to fulfill the dream I had for it. Now that it's attached to such a heart wrenching history, I need to move on to a new identity to be free. You all deserved so many more videos. So much more content and fun I promised but never delivered on. I'm sorry. I'll do better next time. But you'll see me again. I will show up in unexpected ways, and I will fulfill my promises. But I won't be Yotta anymore. Thank you everyone for your support. I really mean it. ~ Yotta

[@cursdrr]

You didn't fail us, you just did what was best for yourself. That's okay.

[@dustycouch4526]

This video and the fact you are moving on are proof that you are braver than most of us. It takes a real courageous heart to be this open, something I actively strive towards. I'm confident you are on a good path, just keep going.

[@MetaTheoretical]

It’s good that your moving forward.

[@femsilent]

hope to see you some day

[@Nachosmacho]

may heaven be good to ur friend. i hope he was a such a good friend

[@FrutigerTB]

He reminds me of my friend :(

[@pastrana21]

I have no idea why this video or ur channel (now that this is your last video on here) was recommended to me. Don't know what this speech of yours was in relation too or who it was too. That being said; I felt the sincerity of your words and want to say thanks for sharing. You seem to have a good soul, a soul hurting a little bit for a lost friendship, but a good soul. Scenery was beautiful and awesome to know that the forest you were in was what inspired totoro. I hope your doing well and taking care of yourself. And know that your words reached someone that was willing to listen to you :) Your friend, Arstian :)

[@YottaVR]

Thanks. My soul didn't just hurt a little. It completely shattered and became the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, continuous over my four month study abroad trip in Japan. Even recording this video was incredibly painful.

[@pastrana21]

@@YottaVR That's sad to read that your study abroad was ruined in a way due to your sadness. Japan was awesome when I visited (though it was only for a week). Hopefully you are not still in pain. Know that it can be hard, especially if you dwell and analyse your own actions as well as what you could have said or done differently, but in time it will lessen and you will grow from it. Believe me, I have made so many mistakes and have ruined many friendships due to the way I was and sometimes struggle not to revert too. All we can do is just try to be better. :)

[@marigold.3801]

I know these words were not intended for me but it feels like a few ex friend situations in my past that I have been through and its comforting to imagine that these words would be coming from them as my own version of closure on those times, thank you for that. I appreciate everything this channel has given to me and to us all here watching, such lovely music, been there for a few live streams too, I hope you are well Yotta and I wish you the best in Japan

[@YottaVR]

i left japan long ago, but thank you. glad you got something out of the video

[@llin_sdt]

​​@@YottaVRoh was it a trip, or did you lived there for a while ? So were did you go now ? Coming home ? sorry if im being intrusive you dont have to answer

[@YottaVR]

study abroad for four months

[@sakulopa_360]

goodbye yotta

[@llin_sdt]

That was very relaxing to hear, and I wish you the best for your friendship.❤

[@Chickenwings09837]

Seems like you had a beautiful and close friendship with that person.

[@downwardbrainspiral]

"I miss my closest friend And now I cling to rocks and wind It's a precious thing we lost" - Headless Horseman by The Microphones :(

[@cursdrr]

Hey man. First of all this letter is artistry, you got a real talent for this. I honestly hope that your friend considers what you've said, and you guys can get back on track. It sounds like you guys had something that you both deeply valued at some point or another. And even if your friend decides that they don't want to resume what you had, don't give up and let that hold you back from putting the things that you have learned to use. It sounds like you really are trying to be a better person, whether it be for them or for yourself, which I think is the most valuable piece. I really hope your doing well as of posting this, and I hope that this in some way works out. Cheers man.

[@hannahfreylinlibit8581]

Hey Yotta your one of the best pianist i ever heard from in youtube and i wish that youd have a better life just continue doing good thing and good things will comeback to you. I felt bad for all the experiences you went through. As a wise man told before "You can find that someone in your life but you can never change the feeling or replace the special someone but renew those memories into something better"

[@YottaVR]

thank you

[@ttelbmelli2225]

Thank you for everything yotta❤ I hope you'll feel better! Good luck!

[@YottaVR]

thank you :)

[@HeadmostCantaloupe]

Well.. I always believe that legends are just to good for this world to not say goodbye.. bye Yotta, we hate to see you go. But where ever you are, we hope that you're happy and successful. Until next time, Yotta

[@stephenspellman1442]

I feel you man 💓💓

[@toastedbread359]

Though I don't know what happened nor do I understand this letter was very emotional to listen to, I hope your doing good now ❤

[@mr.turtle2565]

Thank you so much for helping me get through a tougher time in my life and I wish you nothing but the best. It feels weird so I won’t call you by your real name, but goodbye yotta, have a nice life and I hope our paths cross again.

[@isaacmarshall7512]

Beautiful words! Surely so sentitive and eloquent!

[@eleniskoura3898]

The music in the background makes everything more emotional.❤

[@Uysalgd]

I really understand you, and... hope you will reach your goal. I feel like you're and your friend is really nice... I hope it will be fixed.

[@YottaVR]

thank you

[@tapesayshowdy]

it's hard to have a true homie gone. A brotha, a partner, a person you can trust your life with. Let yourself heal bro, let your heart rest for now. Godspeed homes.

[@eyadventures4078]

I love your piano videos so much dude! I hope you and your friend gets this message and understands what happened :)

[@tylee1587]

Being friends with someone while you're at a state where you aren't comfortable with yourself is difficult. I don't think they'll realize that, and neither will the other person until they're "gone." We don't know how someone feels until they tell us, or we ask them. This is where I lacked it in one of my friendships. I remember sending them one last paragraph and that I was truly sorry, so I don't think we left on bad terms, but just terms where we became acquaintances. Reasons, seasons, lifetime. We can't always get what we want but I'm hoping the best for you.

[@YottaVR]

I hope you didn't block your friend. Think about it; it's unnatural. It would be like someone flicking a switch and disappearing right in front of you. In real life you'd still have to see them around town etc. Blocking is so cheap and is another horrible, damaging spawn of the internet era. It's deeply disturbing how people abuse it to avoid difficult conversations instead of resolving problems and incidentally potentially saving lives. Blocking is usually a 100x worse offense than whatever conflict caused it in the first place.

[@tylee1587]

yeah, I had no intention of blocking them. I still have them in my contacts. I do think you're right. Blocking is weird, unless it's understandable. I do think people just don't know how to communicate when things go down. Maybe one day I'll wish them a happy birthday. after all it has been a few years.

[@YottaVR]

yeah why not :)

[@Supasane_exe]

❤️

[@brick4353]

Until we meet again. Thank you for everything you did.

[@sucroseskulls7488]

Words i wish an ex friend would say. But it is for the best, as hard as it was to block them. This helped so much and I hope you and your friend can reconnect again ❤.

[@YottaVR]

I hope you unblock your friend(s). Perhaps they've realized and changed like I have, and you're suffocating the possibility of hearing similar words from them. That is, unless you know they're actually bad and out to hurt you. Either way, I want you to know that being blocked by such a close friend feels like they've died, on purpose, because of you (the blocked one). It's the worst pain I've experienced in my entire life, and stayed consistently painful over my four months in Japan. My dream trip became a living nightmare, all because my friend couldn't click four buttons and hear me out. So please, don't do this to people you know are good, who are trying to solve their problems. It's just plain wrong.

[@sucroseskulls7488]

@YottaVR I'm so so sorry that happened to you. It is the worst pain, and it's so so hard to know they aren't dead but have cut contact. Knowing I did this left me with a lot of guilt as I had never blocked anyone before that and it was extremely painful knowing i was making such a decision. I did unblock them after a month and unfortunately this past december i saw they followed me and a couple hours later blocked me. Maybe they wanted me to see this. Maybe it was an accident. Either way, it's been a year and they've started following me on other platforms but have not spoken to me or unblocked me on that one platforn. My personal reason I blocked was because I saw they were posting things that I perceived were directed at me and it was very painful. We had had a personal conversation merely days before so to see them seemingly making jokes of that situation was a mixture of confusing and sorrow. I realize now, a year later, I might have reacted too emotionally and maybe they were venting. It's hard to know as they did not want to speak to me at the time so we could clear it up. Even now, with them following me but not reaching out, I have to wonder if they even know what they did hurt me. Or maybe they're too afraid to speak directly to me. I don't think I'm ready to reach out and potentially get hurt when I have only wanted accountability. But were both flawed and I can admit I made mistakes with that friendship and hurt them as well. Hearing your words brought up a lot of feelings for me and I cried a lot. I may connect with them again but I think I still need to process what I think is safest for me. I can tell you've really reflected on things and it meant a lot to hear it, I'd like to think my friend has these thoughts as well. I just want you to know that there are people like me that feel very sad for having blocked and I hope your friend can someday reach out and see this. We all deserve to be treated with respect and sometimes when people leave our lives they get to become who they want to be, without us. It's painful but you can also remember the good memories and know that at one point you both cared and had many smiles together. Take care and good luck 🫂

[@YottaVR]

I read what you said. I don't know what kind of person your friend was nor how close they were, but the least you could do is check in on them to make sure they're okay. It's possible they're fine, but if you caused them pain, it's wrong to turn a blind eye to it. Thank you for being a good person.

[@YottaVR]

And I'm sorry I made you cry

[@sucroseskulls7488]

@@YottaVR We knew each other for 10 years, starting in high school, and eventually formed a bond beyond just friendship. We're both queer so in a way this was one of our first times experiencing this type of relationship. Sadly, majority of the time these relationships never end up going well because we were navigating our identity and also ended up dating other people as we became long distance after graduation so things can get messy if you don't communicate which we didn't. I'll admit I have fault in this. I thought I could be poly because this friend is poly and I wanted to do anything to preserve our friendship and love, but something was off. After trying to voice concerns, things we're brushed aside so i kept doubting if what I was experiencing was actually happening until finally I wanted to speak with this person and they completely shut down. I'm sure what i said during our breakup was painful but I also can't allow someone to say inconsiderate things about me on their social media. We both have blame for how things ended, except I would never talk about our private situation so publicly like they did. Maybe one day I will check in on them, but at the moment it seems they have more partners and for some reason I do not trust them to be kind if I did reach out. It does not seem like they have good intentions when they started following me recently, they would unfollow then follow me again. Then make a new account to follow me on. There's more but I think this message is long enough. These actions don't make me feel like they want the best for me. Thank you for listening and it's okay! It felt good to cry. I need to find closure elsewhere and currently the friends in my life have been one of the best things I have right now. Thanks for being kind to respond!

[@DylanKing-m5e]

You’re a good person, happiness isn’t far

[@vanquar6200]

The elusive Yotta upload.

[@bgc3864]

I hope you reunite with your friend soon. We truly don't appreciate and value something until it's gone

[@Gopal_eats_rocks]

Thank you, Yotta.

[@emerixemerix2177]

We are sorry for you, i wanted to let you know that i loved (as a pianist) every chords you played and posted on your channel, and even if we will miss you, we hope that you’re going to have a wonderfull life. You’re a great man who deserves the best. Goodbye Yotta ❤️

[@Tio_kappa]

i got reject by many girls that i truly love and like, an lost many friends that now i''m all alone and no friends but 1 dude, living is hard and lost someone make our heart like stone, maybe that is how we create a truly villan. Watching you playing piano did makes me buy one too and now i'm leaning it See this after watching mice on venus, make it more hard to get... but it's like NF say on his "warm up" song.--- they all lie when they say not coming back ---, life is hard in so many ways... let us know when you are back. just give time a time and things maybe be better..

[@quinnleahy5948]

This entire letter feels like its going to me, after i committed suicide, and my best friend made a video on a letter for me. Thank you for everything. Brayden.

[@YottaVR]

please don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. i know the struggle

[@dreamsequencer]

It's strange I'm watching this just a couple of days after finally burrying the hatchet with a friend we didn't talk for awhile. Parts of your story sounded so similar to ours. People are not that different after all. Thank you for sharing and presenting this in such a beautiful way. ♥

[@YottaVR]

Please don't block your friends. You don't have to talk, but at least keep communication and possibility open.

[@armoredgato7043]

Thanks, Yotta.

[@friedavi]

Not the Minecraft music in the background

[@YottaVR]

it's just my videos with a lot of reverb lol

[@friedavi]

@@YottaVR it's awesome honestly... Your letter was perfectly crafted, and the environment, the sweet Minecraft music... They all complimented that post stage of growing up and maturing up. I also happened to lose my best friend, two years ago for the very reasons you've mentioned in that video. Luckily for me, I managed to reconnect with her, however things will never be like they were before. She now has another best friend, and I am happy for her. This has allowed me to grow and really unlock a new part of my life. Yes your video, was extremely relatable- 🙌🙌

[@acidsloves]

❤️

[@MarcosArroyoCollado]

here´s a new follower

[@YottaVR]

hello new follower

[@Christopher-vm3hs]

What happened to your lives man I was gonna rewatch them

[@rafoaxe132]

Thank you far all the memories ❤

[@NateHagen-cp3in]

o7 yotta. I wish you the best in life if I never see you again.

[@samoftheweek]

Goodbye yotta 😔😕

[@saltycracker5459]

9999999999999999999999/10

[@Christopher-vm3hs]

Don’t be sad man we’re here for you