A Life On Drugs-John

[@NollaGirl504]

Mark, I really enjoy your channel. I myself was an addict, been clean for 15 years. My brother and I were born to two crack-heroin addicted parents. I was born addicted and put in states custody. Fortunately my father's parents took me in and raised me. We were very poor, but I'm grateful for being raised by family. My brother and I started using in our early teens, with our parents. It never ended well. Dad's a vegetable in a nursing home from driving high slamming into a bridge, my mother went to prison for murder, my brother died two years ago of a Fentanyl overdose. I chose to get clean, moved three states away, married my husband and had three beautiful children. I'm the first person in my entire family to graduate college. My children forever changed me, I am the mother I never had. It feels amazing to feel feelings, and to wake up without needing a fix to feel normal. I pray for everyone who's currently in addiction, it's a desperate, lonely life. Thanks Mark

[@pambeforethestorm9784]

What a beautiful story of your transition from drugs to sobriety! Even tho painful with the loss it brings, you are an absolute success story! Thank you so much for sharing, and much respect and continued success on your life journey ❤💎

[@silentstryker1590]

So many dont get out, its wonderful to hear you did. God bless our children.

[@lifebeginswithaseed]

Aww, so happy for you!! It feels good to do the right thing and to have a clean conscience, huh? It REALLY makes you grateful and appreciate the little things doesn't it? Children are a blessing and it sounds like you're a great mom.

[@patriciaque197]

Congratulations on breaking the cycle❣

[@DeathByDrone-ORmk84]

Oh, poor babies, born addicted to such powerful chemicals. God protect your brother, I'm so sorry for all of your losses! You are amazing!

[@k1ngkeyes]

John was my stepdad for a while growing up. Great guy but yeah the drugs can definitely cloud a persons mission. He used to teach me guitar we would go skateboarding all the time, he really is a talented person who has a good heart. My mom died of an overdose back in June and I wanted to hate him. I thought he got her hooked on heroin, but in reality she was an adult who made her own decisions. John is very well spoken and an engaging storyteller, watching this really gave me perspective on why people do what they do. I went through a phase of Xanax use that helped me understand addiction, and helped me let go of things my mother did. I guess what I’m trying to say is I understand now.

[@utahnick]

Wow you know this guy? Crazy to read your comment. Hope you are OK :)

[@EverythingCriminal]

He yo daddy.

[@byrde4329]

I'm sorry about your mother

[@randolfo1265]

Very thoughtful of you to share this with us. Hope you are keeping healthy and safe.

[@VonSolo5]

So sorry for your mom’s passing. Wishing you the best.

[@donnydonnybrook8131]

I was on 120 mg of methadone and it took me 4.5 years to ween off of Methadone. Been clean of opiates for 6.5 years now.

[@BigBodyBiggolo]

Awesome, i heard methadone is a bitch to get rid of so big props to you!

[@highplains]

💪Me too. 12 years on it, clean for 4. The first 90 days were horrendous though

[@highplains]

@@ThatGuy-iv4tc just keep weaning right down to 1mg for the last month. Going to NA helped me- i made some good friends & stayed connected. It's a process which does take a long time, but it's totally possible to move on from that life.

[@vogelvogeltje]

I was at 140mg, then I cut it in half one day 2 years ago after a bad overdose, now I’m at 48 mg and going down.

[@matthewblunderbuss4545]

You're a huge inspiration for people.

[@Andys11275]

Sir I just wanted to tell you I became clean after 40 years of addiction. I was 62 when that happened.I’m now 64 and feel better than I ever have. You can do this sir. You are an intelligent and very charismatic. I do worry a bit about you. I see the edema in your left hand and I know this happens to us at times. My prayers are with sir❤

[@Steeplehammer1]

That's amazing, fair play to you. A serious accomplishment x

[@karendalsadik7119]

Thank gawd I saw this comment. I used to be 14 years and 16 years cleans. Eight years after my husband died I couldn't handle it alone. I’ve been out for 3 years. Trying to get back in.

[@Past-Perception]

@@karendalsadik7119 You are on your journey! We love you. You got this. But no matter what, we love you.

[@treasureoliver3473]

Not sure if you'll see this but I'm 60 next year, a grandmother, 40 years in. Your message gave me hope. Thankyou.

[@FEWGEE1]

I was addicted to alcohol from 15-20, and heroin and also crack from 20 - 41. I've been clean for 18 months now. If I can do it, anyone can. My only regret is that I couldn't manage to do it years ago. I wasted the best years of my life, and I'm now facing middle age with no prospects or family. But I'm doing damn good compared to two years ago.

[@chrissyb01880]

Keep going..you give hope to so many

[@geminisabah]

You will find someone. 💚 and they will be perfect for you. My husband was in a similar situation too... hes 51 in may and im 34 in june.... we have been together for 11 years in november.

[@icescrew1]

I was late getting clean. But better late than dead ! I tried a lot of combinations. Tried tough guyin it out.. Finally gave up and took a suggestion. Every addict in recovery is my brother or sister. You bro.. Never give up on you. Reach out. Literally, call me. We're the only ones that get it. Today's a great day clean 👍👍

[@tmacfan16]

Oh fuck off ive been sober since the day i was born. What doyou want a fu kingmedal???

[@jasonskillz6958]

Respect bro I was also addicted to white and brown like we call that in the Netherlands. I learned one thing of course there are regrets but my life experience made me the man I am now and I'm happy with it.I m 50 now and 5 years clean.

[@haleyandersen3280]

I love these videos when Mark can just ask one single question and the interviewee goes on this long tangent! Wishing the best for John, he is truly a great storyteller.

[@eyeswideshut.9953]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYfTZ2yJi8mjnck

[@ParasiteXSnuff]

@@eyeswideshut.9953 what was the significance of linking a video of you cooking in a kitchen lmao

[@eyeswideshut.9953]

@@ParasiteXSnuff Check out the other videos lol

[@eyeswideshut.9953]

would be much appreciated

[@Ryguy3000r]

Watch him on no jumper. He says these are his favorite interviews bc he hates to have to talk so I’m sure he loved this one as well

[@debrascott8492]

Interesting interview. No child abuse, no molestations or rape, parents remained married/got along with each other, Father made big bucks, lived in upscale neighborhood, had an upscale home, had everything he could possibly want and was formally educated. This interview is the other side of addiction and his words wear you down. Good job finding him Mark.

[@emmageiger232]

He was doing coke at 10 years old, what great parent doesn’t notice this?? Parents may have provided materialistic things but clearly didn’t pay their kids any attention (emotional neglect).

[@debrascott8492]

@@emmageiger232 .....If you listen to the interview, this guys older Brother told the parents that he would take care of him (and he tried). Yes, this Mother and Father were totally in the dark about drugs and the effects (most upper class people were in that day and age). In the future, the parents did try to help this son. You cannot be helped until you choose to hit rock bottom (if then). I do not see neglect from these parents - I see parents that truly loved him and were ignorant to the drug addiction world and the toxicities of that addiction. Each person has their own opinion.

[@LimoneneDaddy]

Addiction does not discriminate

[@annieseaside]

Yet, a Mom using who “allows you 1/2 gram a day? Neglect in the form of both parent’s not noticing him stealing from them every day? A 10 year old kid taking 16 qualudes and him taking 9 to catch up? He could have had an absent Dad and an Addict Mom in a slum. This is geography. The parenting was not good. Not noticing your son has a drug addiction from 10-30?? Having 2 loving and alert, present parents would have been another story.

[@kellietaylor9913]

@@debrascott8492 I liked her comment but yours is true also

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Please does anyone know where I can get them? I put so much on my plate and it really affects my stress and anxiety levels, I would love to try shrooms

[@patriaciasmith3499]

@Micheal Harris Is he on instagram?

[@jeffsmith2447]

@Micheal Harris Can dr.sporess send to me in Ny?

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.

[@HiGlowie]

So you tripped once on shrooms and never wanted to touch dope again?

[@Nucleite]

This may be the most unironically cool guy I have ever seen, and not because he does drugs, but because he's so forthcoming, open, still seems to have a positive attitude, and let's be honest, he's got some real style.

[@nanamaja9350]

❤

[@Dzanarika1]

I agree

[@leftyshawenuph4026]

This guy is full of sh... Trust me. I know.

[@silent_shout]

@@leftyshawenuph4026 Man, I read his comment and agreed with him, and I saw your reply and it brought me back to Earth. Drug addicts are such skilled liars and deceivers, I truly want this guy to get clean and have a good life but you're absolutely right. He's not honest, and he's not honest about himself. If he was, he'd be clean. The sad truth is, he's all smoke and mirrors until he can get to his fix.

[@rexhenderson7020]

Yea man, terminally hip and fatally cool braj

[@iheartcleveland216]

He's an incredible storyteller. He would be an INCREDIBLE sponsor and sobriety coach someday...... It's never too late, John!

[@jakebulgarian7319]

You are insane

[@woweezowee975]

How can he be a sobriety coach when he still says he's an active user?

[@ingridlundborg5389]

@@woweezowee975 ”someday” “it’s never too late” they aren’t necessarily wrong

[@dickslaughter2]

He's clearly lying. Taking 9 qualudes at once and doing loads of huge lines of cocaine at 10 years old. Ha bullshit!

[@leightousley8170]

@@dickslaughter2 at least someone else can see that, everything this guy said sounded like 90% BS with 10% Truth. I’m all about hoping the best for people and seeing the good in them, but when it’s obvious someone is just bull shitting to add to their story I stop listening. I’m amazed how many people actually think this guy is being honest and what a great story teller he is….Are you kidding me?!?!

[@wendylynn7605]

John, when you talked about how drugs can be attractive to kids who are yearning to experience life, I think you hit the nail on the head. When I look back on it, I wish something else had been available to me -- like travel or a hobby that got me out of the monotony of everyday life. I'm fine now but it took me until I was nearly 30 to find other outlets. I wish you the best of luck.

[@zumurudlilit]

No libraries around?

[@wendylynn7605]

@@zumurudlilit I read constantly. Thanks for asking.

[@asdfgh123lkjhgf]

A lot of truth in this for me. Many people are searching for something in life beyond generic template of girlfriend, job, marry, kids that gets presented. Some sense of adventure or achievement or even knowing a goal that excites and drives you on. Many don't really know what their calling is or what to do with their lives and it's that void that can often invite drugs and alcohol through the door.

[@michaelchristmann4980]

@@asdfgh123lkjhgf yeah it’s a tough spot to get into

[@damienholland8103]

@@asdfgh123lkjhgf Sports, art work, prostitutes, there's plenty to do. But the difference is that when you're under the influence the 'feel good' / 'pleasure' aspect can last hours. A normal sober brain only feels good or happy for temporary periods of time -- a brain with depression even less so.

[@mayamaya1986]

The beginning versus the end of the video, is the story of addiction… John started telling us how he did as a kid, almost a funny story. The ending burned a hole in my heart, no more fun in this shit, use it to survive, a story of pain and loss. This one hit me hard. I send my love to all of you, fighting the addiction. You deserve the world. ❤

[@Stephwellsfriendly]

We deserve a safe supply.. we shouldn't have to risk our lives every time we try to do a bag of dope... Because some asshole selling us fentanyl with tranquilizer in it that we don't know what it is ,or you want to buy a pill when you can't because it's fake the cartels are making trillions the cartels are making the money that the purdues were making.... Since 2015 when fentanyl started getting big I can name at least 40 people that aren't here anymore my hometown and I can name another 90 that had to be an narcaned at one point or they wouldn't be here either

[@janets9179]

Starts out all fun, then mostly fun with some problems, then nothing but problems.

[@terriblue68]

Yes, you are correct. It was hilarious and so much fun at the beginning, until it wasn't. It eventually stops working and the party is over. For good. You start losing everything. I mean everything including humans in your life (kids, siblings, parents), jobs, roof over your head. It's a progressive disease and it certainly progressed with me. All i had left was a heart beat (sometimes that was even compromised) and it was either go on to the bitter end, all whacked out or get into recovery. It took me 3 years of in and out and 5 rehabs to finally get my act together. 32 years of more of anything and everything, hard to break that. At least for me it was. And my disease lied to me constantly. Oh how quickly I'd forget about the compromising situations I'd find myself in. Or I'm NOT spending my entire paycheck on Crack this week. I am going to pay my rent. ... I was great at planning the plan, just sucked at the outcome part. But for the Grace of God ...

[@elliotthalsey2810]

My daughter died last month, age 20, we tried for years to get her clean

[@terriblue68]

@elliotthalsey2810 I'm very sorry for your loss. I have a daughter almost 22, and a son who's 30. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child to addiction. Or losing a child at all. But my heart goes out to you at this very difficult time. 🙏 ❤️

[@driftwoodcanyon9147]

I have been to Skid Row several times. The background noises during the interviews make me smile. That cursing of that lady next door, the sirens of the passing by police cars and now the noises of the construction site. I personally enjoy them as much as every interview I watch. When does a serious trauma therapist shows up on that program and explains what actually is going on in the people‘s nervous system here. So many layers of not yet resolved fight/flight freeze and fragment issues. People should learn more about modern trauma therapies. Anyway, one of the best channels on KZbin.

[@itskeagan3004]

He said 80MG of Methadone is impossible to come off of, that you’re stuck on it for life at that point…I’m here to shout from the rooftops that this guy was on 180MG of Methadone for years, had a knock down drag out battle with heroin/fentanyl. But today I’m 14 months 100% sober from fentanyl/H use and I’m 2 months off Sublocade-a different MAT that helped saved my life (literally).

[@itskeagan3004]

@niggy1kanobi1 thank you 🙏🏼

[@FortNite-fb5wm]

Don’t mess it up for anything. So much value in being sober

[@kalkat02]

You're the best Sharkey. Sending you love my friend 💕

[@itskeagan3004]

No more hanging on or white knuckling, I addressed the internal issues and learned what trauma did to my brain. It changed me and formed my life for 3 decades, not anymore! Thanks for the encouragement to the few who commented I wish getting sober was more popular.

[@kalkat02]

@@itskeagan3004 you got this 👍

[@Rubbleee]

Excellent interview. He’s such a charismatic guy, telling us his story in such interesting an eloquent way. Please do a follow up someday please. Thank you

[@Seakaye2s]

This guy is full of lies. You think he’s charismatic????? Obviously his stories have a base but he’s full of you know what.

[@tonyaleach5033]

Yes please do, follow up with John

[@edwilliamson956]

@@justinbauer175 if he wasn't high he wouldn't be able to function

[@lulubelljingles9701]

@@justinbauer175 it’s his personality he’s not high

[@lulubelljingles9701]

@@Seakaye2s he’s not he may elaborate but he’s telling his story. It’s his personality

[@health1422]

Charming guy. Can't help but think he was destined for something better. This is a reminder to do something you love, instead of falling into a life you regret in the end

[@health1422]

​@@tomspriggs7130 He's hurting, craving a fulfillment he hasn’t had. You can see the regrets in his words and his face. I don’t subscribe to your ‘everything is relative and the world is an abstraction’ speech. Nor did I define worth for him as you did. Worth is defined for oneself.

[@suchabadkitty1293]

@@health1422 He's a liar. Right off the bat he's talking about taking 9 quaaludes as a 10 year old. He'd be dead. Then at 10, on handfuls of quaaludes, he can play guitar like Hendrix. I split after that. I hate liars.

[@inorbit30]

Charm is an effective tool for an addict. He clearly blames the methadone program for his addiction. I'd take some of his stories with a grain of salt.

[@Saritabanana]

@@suchabadkitty1293 that hate isn’t helping you or people suffering with addiction.

[@rensb9214]

@@suchabadkitty1293 he didn’t say he could play like hendrix, and you’d be surprised to what you could take without overdosing. Sometimes you take an amount that should be an overdose but it isn’t.

[@iamthemusicman13]

I was on 300 plus MG of methadone wafers a day (40mg wafers) when they were out years ago, It was the worst withdrawal I ever went through getting clean. The hospital put me into a self induced coma and weeks later I was out finally after countless hallucinations and other terrible things.. 13 years later I been sober still and I just wanted to share that to say it is possible to get clean!

[@joem13yearsago73]

Nice

[@iamthemusicman13]

@@joem13yearsago73 thank you!

[@Sickboy2727]

Good on you mate

[@sundancer76]

Ah. Good Ole bisquits🤦‍♂️ I hear ya! Happy for ya dude!!!

[@danvincent2600]

Golly! I’ve never heard of dolophine wafers. Usually I have taken liquid green

[@daphnegerry9318]

Soooooo, much potential!! Articulate, great communicator, honest about where he is in his life. All those amazing attributes. Brother, if you could see yourself the way I see you, your entire experience would shift.

[@Scott-rz2vo]

Very nicely put Daphne, such kind words... thanks...

[@keeper6458]

Beautiful comment

[@andrewgero9607]

was thinking the same exact thing

[@Catalinaobregon]

Exactly what I was thinking…perhaps this video will show him himself through Mark’s lens.

[@rileywolf2310]

Love this comment!

[@kevinsturges6957]

He's so centered and well spoken. Imagine what he could have done with his life without all this baggage.

[@MrFz1rider]

Oh yeah ,he should be Speaker of The House !

[@lizwaa100]

Indeed. And imagine what HE CAN DO with his life going forward with all this tragic life experience arming him to be super influential, inspirational and successful. There’s hope for everyone, John is no exception

[@kozdog6731]

ikr get couldve become a lawyer! #awesome!!!

[@kevinsturges6957]

@@lizwaa100 : and there you go. That’s really the way to look at it.

[@scienz]

he's from a privileged upbringing. of course he's gonna be well spoken

[@joshuadrane2726]

The honesty and vulnerability are not overlooked. Thank you so much for sharing your story

[@thetechlibrarian]

I can relate to this story being Greek and having friends that where well off, but my mother always told me, if your doing dirt and you both get in trouble the kids with the money will get a pass and you won’t. Very true words.

[@jondoe8o]

Universal healthcare is the answer achi. Look into what happened in Portugal in the past 15 years…

[@grmpEqweer]

@Tech Librarian your mom was 100% right.

[@marte1376]

@@jondoe8o what happened?

[@marte1376]

Very wise words, rich people have privileges and networks, random common people can't give themselves that privilege. My mom and my dad used to told me the same

[@theRiver_joan]

What a wise mother.

[@F.ord_Prefect]

Such an honest, unapologetic and insightful account by this intelligent and articulate man. I especially appreciated his explanation of why he's still using. He's not trying to fool himself or anyone else, just the facts and his complete ownership of his choices. Good luck to you John

[@breannajackson2200]

Well said!

[@tuforu4]

He is drugged.

[@jamesmorgan1063]

The most truthful, blunt, in your face self dissection of destructive life choices that I've ever seen and heard. My sincerest gratitude and hope for this man's redemption.

[@EssentiallyCeee]

Well said ! His articulate and charismatic nature also really drew me in. Wishing the best for him

[@hollymartins6913]

I kicked methadone cold turkey, heroin cold turkey, and nothing compares to fentanyl. It was hell. I've been clean 2 years. I moved up to the mountains away from my connections and just suffered until it ended. 20 years of being a junkie was enough. And John is so right: my guitar playing improved dramatically after I kicked.

[@xeorge]

proud of you man! you're strong as hell

[@isnowyazn]

How much methadone cold turkey? I can for sure say that fentanyl is definitely as bad or worse than methadone withdrawals, but it’s fairly quick. Methadone takes a whole month for the beginning withdrawals alone, and then after, it take months to finish withdrawing entirely.

[@Findpepperbridge]

How long did it take you to get past the bad withdrawals?

[@loribaker8339]

Congratulations 👏 I wish you continued strength to stay clean. Play baby play! The guitar makes beautiful music being clean.

[@sunsetstormx]

​@@xeorgehell ain't strong (I know it's just a figure of speech) God helped her I'm sure!

[@jaytripoli2057]

15 years of struggling and this was the most impactful conversation I've ever heard

[@confessionboxstories]

Congrats to 15 years hang in there! kzbin.info/www/bejne/o2PKYX-MjZlgoqs

[@Unsubscribedd]

That was the exactly same thing that I thought. He tells it how it is, the good times and the hell on earth. This is some honesty and depth and would never be discussed at an NA meeting.

[@SexMusicPlants]

❤

[@TerryTuckerfloridapicker]

You definitely need a follow-up someday with this man. He is eloquent and charismatic. I hope he is able to kick the habit.

[@alahalanit5006]

Agreed! 👍

[@8ofwands300]

His story reveals his disappointment with the adults in his life and surrounding neighborhood who ignored two kids out of their minds on drugs. Rich, irresponsible, self- involved adults seemed to form the backdrop of his childhood. Kids allowed to run wild. This communicates to kids they don't matter. Poor guy.

[@mysticmama740]

good points!

[@ryan4926]

Or he s not disappointed with anyone and was just one of those kids that needed more discipline and parental oversight

[@lavenderkisses9461]

I thought the same thing and also where the h*ll are the adults?! I mean his brother says “I got him” and the parents are cool with that? His friend literally went to the hospital.🙄🙄

[@LoloO42]

Agreed. I'm actually surprised to hear that Zappa raised his kids in Hollywood. He was such a smart, responsible guy. Too much access to money and drugs out there.

[@LadyAngela678]

My parents were alcoholic crackheads that let me run wild. Im a 40 year old nurse who has never done drugs and not an alcoholic. Because I didnt want to be like them. Lets not blame the parents on this one. 😊

[@jstarASMR3103]

The fact that this guy is still alive and kickin goes to show how resilient the body is😱

[@lynnzephyr563]

He's a really good storyteller, eccentric and interesting. I'm glad he pointed out that he was in no way glorifying drug use. He made it pretty clear that while it may seem fun at first.... it turns into pure hell and the drugs have a real grip on his life. I hope he can break free and that his story of addiction will help people choose a different path.

[@StilettoCutsQuick.]

I was thinking the same. He seems like a really sweet decent guy but just completely addicted. I am also glad he ended seriously discouraging the lifestyle.

[@bombastus4402]

His story is incredible. When I was 10 I just enjoyed actual cartoons. Can't imagine wanting to do drugs at that age. If you start at such an early age, you don't really have a chance. It's practically impossible. Extremely difficult to rewire a brain like that.

[@AJBuddha]

Fr I didn’t lose my mind til I turned 18

[@suzanneglendinning1820]

John I hope you can be free if the drugs. God bless you🙏

[@Meangirl22]

There’s no way a 10 year old took 15 Queludes and didn’t kill over …. Js 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@aracnadei13]

@@Meangirl22 There's about 100 things in this video that are just total nonsense. I'm not sure why everyone believes the addict all of a sudden. A few minutes in to the video and I told someone he sounds like the drunk at the bar who tells stories that get more and more ridiculous as he goes. By the end of the night, he is talking about how he's secretly a CIA assassin.

[@chicnoir29]

@@aracnadei13 🤣🤣🤣true. I pick up pathological liar vibes from him.

[@terrysowers8983]

This one hit me the hardest. Watched it from beginning to end. I think because I am part Greek, a guitar player, grew up a little wild and free in the suburbs of LA, played guitar, listened to the same music, and we probably even have friends in common and we are about the same age. I had friends who went down this path as well and I lost a few along the way. Hang in there John. We both know people who have walked away from it. I have no idea how hard it is. All I can say is life is a lot better at this age sober or close to it. Being healthy, loving your friends and your lady. Sending my thoughts of encouragement and healing to you brother.

[@brittaolson6550]

I am from one of those families who just didn’t know what their kids are up against…naive hippie family. I got off drugs at closer to his age than, probably, most people’s friends. I would say it was more due to intensive treatment than any ability to,” walk away”, in my case. Maybe in most cases. But, after the 5th treatment, I didn’t go back. They had a harm reduction approach (reducing harm to patients by doctors/mental health professionals. You DID need to quit drugs). I’m studying addiction counseling and they are finding out exciting things that will change how we treat addiction. I hope anyone who’s still struggling will keep seeking help. I would tell them if one program, group, book, or hospital doesn’t work, then don’t go back. Go somewhere else. You may run into something new, that does work. And don’t ever stay anywhere if the staff are rude or abusive. The biggest impediment, for me, was thinking I was impervious to treatment. Thankfully, I got court ordered, at that point. But I begged my PO to go to a better facility than they ordered. I had run into a friend and asked her where she went. Not as thankful for the record! But I found what worked for me. The book, “The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction is Not a Disease,” by Dr. Marc Lewis helped, immensely, too.

[@amydv8123]

νας δε καλα

[@reefk8876]

This is common in the valley

[@diviningrod2671]

The valley's a harsh place.

[@jimfoley8014]

The stream of consciousness at the end is genius. He really opens up after kind of dancing around the edge before that. All love and prayers to the addicts. God wants us to be humble.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

"At 30 years old my dad finally got hip to what was going on..." The picture of parental denial. Makes my parents seem vigilant by comparison and they were totally unprepared for teens on drugs.

[@8ofwands300]

Neglect may be the more precise term in this case. This guy was snorting coke and taking qualudes at 9, with no adult anywhere to be seen.

[@nosphosfer]

Was'nt the eighties the time many many people latch keyed there poor kids? Poor things never had a chance!

[@amandav5824]

My mom said she never noticed my particular addiction because I was so good at hiding it. She's not narcissistic, so she's not gaslighting me, but I still feel conflicted and resentful. I mean, I did make an effort to hide everything, but I don't even remember her asking me what was going on or investigating when she herself would call out my weird behavior. I was a very depressed teen who constantly had bloodshot eyes, wasn't regularly showering, slept during all my classes everyday in high school (where she worked and knew about my sleeping), and knew i was the reason for the items that would mysteriously go missing in the house. I am so confused as to why all of this was shrugged away.

[@InTheNow2020]

This is one hell of a story. A tortured artist. I feel for John, big time. He is a brave soul to share his story and pain. I wish him well and that gets clean as a man in his early 50's. It's not too late. It's never too late. Liked and subscribed from Vancouver, Canada.

[@elizabethferrari1346]

I just got clean and sober. I'm 52 years. It's never too late.

[@InTheNow2020]

@@elizabethferrari1346 Great name. You must be a total superstar. Stay healthy. Best wishes from Vancouver, Canada.

[@Lonegraywolf75]

I agree no age is too late to straighten up. Do it while you can while you got your looks and your health.

[@breaker__]

@@Lonegraywolf75 It definitely causes more harm than good. You just need to really surrender and admit that you were making choices, and to make better choices going forward

[@lynnzephyr563]

@@elizabethferrari1346 That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you and I wish you an amazing life going forward. Hugs xoxo

[@DaveDurango]

This may be my favorite episode. I could listen to John all day. Please bring him back.

[@ianpepper4240]

I found this interview particularly powerful. The way John describes the excitement and fun of doing drugs as a child to the devastation it lead to is heartbreaking. You can still see that clever, creative little boy in him even now. It is so sad to think of all he could have achieved had he not become an addict. I hope he kicks it one day as he clearly still has a lot to offer.

[@issy8849]

I could listen to John for ages, he really has a charisma about him! Would love to hear more from him sometime :)

[@chinadashauthority65]

Yes this is very obviously a special guy

[@terbear6519]

Have you ever lived with a charismatic addict? 🤢🤮

[@sheylaabarca9754]

😅🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀

[@The-Finisher]

@@terbear6519 omg 😆 😵‍💫🤯

[@currybase]

Maybe his 'charisma' and story telling about the good old days is what is keeping him from trying to get clean. "Wow man-you did all that?! Is anyone taking in to account that he is still using?

[@DJ-du4tq]

Great interview. For someone with this level of addiction, he comes across as pretty genuine. He's got a severe problem, but if anyone can get through that kind of problem, it's him. I've known heroin addicts who's issues pale in comparison to his, and they never made it, but they weren't anywhere near as honest with themselves as he is. I hope for him.

[@two_mey_]

Brilliant storyteller. I was glued to this entire interview. Hope he’s doing alright nowadays.

[@Gibboartstuff]

Same here... what a nice guy... hope he is well - nice threads

[@lourdesterry649]

Hilarious

[@blazefairchild465]

I really loved this man’s portrait ,you really did an amazing job on this one. I have gone back & looked at it many times.

[@SanDiegoSurrealityTV]

Dude! I know this guy!!! My boyfriend and I lived on his couch for 2 months back in 2015 when we were both addicts. John is a very nice guy, but his life hasn't been an easy one and I hope he gets clean one day. I remember one time he was supposed to meet someone to do a deal and the person was calling him and he had just shot up and was completely out. I couldn't wake him up no matter how hard I tried. He was breathing though so we just kept an eye on him and let him sleep it off. I hope his dogs and mom are OK too, cuz they were both super sweet.

[@fungus_am0nguz644]

What?? Youve lived on this dude's couch for 2 months?? haha yo what are the odds?? Is he a well known guy in that "world"? What do you mean his life hasnt been easy? Seems like he grew up with money and unfortunately got caught up in the game but he had opportunities to make something up himself. He seems like a really nice guy though. Hope you are clean.

[@SanDiegoSurrealityTV]

@@fungus_am0nguz644 yeah, when u use, u kind of all know eachother cuz u hang around the same people. We had the same dealer and we gave him 150 a month to sleep on his couch (in his bedroom). I meant he had a hard life after he started doing dope, but that's usually the same for every junkie. I had to move to AZ to get away from it, but I did, and now I've been clean for 4 years.

[@fungus_am0nguz644]

@@SanDiegoSurrealityTV Congrats on those 4 years. i know how hard it can be. You know I always against that notion of "no matter where you go your disease follows you" and I get, shit if your mind is made up you can find dope in the desert BUT it does make it easier when you move to a place and dont know anyone, i mean one of the first things you learn in recovery is "places and people" so if you remove those two it makes it a tad easier, it has for me, I grew up in the NYC and Costa Rica, now i live in a big city in Europe and have been clean some time. Also his couch was in his bedroom?? hahaha idk why but that made me laugh seeing this character.

[@SanDiegoSurrealityTV]

@Gordon Vos no. We were addicts and homeless and he offered. It was only 2 months and we paid him even though he never asked us to. Shit happens. You just judge people you don't know?

[@SanDiegoSurrealityTV]

@@fungus_am0nguz644 that's amazing 👏 I'm happy for u. It's really hard to leave that kind of situation, but you and I did it, so it's not impossible. And yes, his couch was in his bedroom lol. It was a big master bedroom with a huge walk in closet and a bathroom and changing room. He had a bunch of little dogs too that snuggled us at night. It wasn't such a bad time... aside from the drugs.

[@Geminimoon320]

He’s an intelligent, attractive person who’s dealt himself a cruel hand. I spent a few years in cocaine hell myself and can tell you that even my worst days now are heavenly compared to my best drug days. I would hope John can someday feel the bliss of being completely drug free. He’s a genuinely lovely guy and this is the best interview I’ve heard yet. I hope he makes it. Thank you.

[@toddwill2313]

I think you quoted that wrong, your cocaine days couldnt have been that bad or you wouldn't have kept doing it

[@jondoe8o]

Nope. Outside the USA there are a lot of countries where kids like him would have gotten help fast

[@tonyaleach5033]

I agree

[@lynngallerno4145]

@@jondoe8o which countries? Where?

[@amybedner3253]

thought i was crazy for thinking this man is..kinda a looker 😮 wish only the best for him.

[@SHEDEVILWASHERE]

This is THE BEST interview yet. He's lived such an interesting life. He's so intelligent and articulate. I learned a lot from him and I really hope he's able to do some of the things he's always wanted to do. Life's mot over yet. He's still here, so there's hope.

[@chupalia]

I think you misunderstood his story because he told it in such a positive sociopath way(we are in his movie, in his head). If you ever knew a heroin addict, then you know the reality. He was just lucky to be born in affluence. They should interview his family and friends. You will see the damage of his life. He wants to get clean to do things he never did, but what about paying people back for the years of taking. He was a middle man dealer for heroin?? How many people died from his dealing? I'm sure he does not care because of what he got "off the top".

[@girlfromlondontown.442]

@@chupalia everything you said is right. A lot of people that watch the videos on this channel are easily taken in by a quirky character. I've lived in a big city my whole life and I see through all types of shit.

[@chupalia]

@@girlfromlondontown.442 You are so right about their character being the focal point. For you to see through things like this is special in modern times. I'm sure you see on these comments that not many do. You are smart, beautiful, and tough...Good for you.

[@bigjim8088]

@@chupalia yeah I'm sure he is still scoring and skimming like he always did if he needs to.

[@simplyme9016]

@@chupalia Truth!!!!

[@AndySalinger33]

This is the best one yet! I’ve watched tons of these, and this guy reigns supreme as a storyteller. His honesty and frankness, so refreshing. His self reflections are insightful. I wish him success. I hope he makes some great music with the female singer he spoke of.

[@Teabonesteak]

He won't.

[@AndySalinger33]

@@Teabonesteak great attitude. I’m sure it’ll get you far.

[@CraigMelton-jv6tc]

He definitely won’t lmao

[@AndySalinger33]

@@CraigMelton-jv6tc ok. Thanks for the great, insightful feedback!

[@honeybea_]

This has to be one of my “favorite” videos of yours. For many reasons. Thank you for these videos, they’re so raw and necessary.

[@mindfulnessnow3094]

This man is certainly talented. Sad story, i truly wish with all my heart that he will find the strength and all the help necessary to turn his life around and express his full potential. He could help, and inspire a lot of people. He surely made me realize to stop wasting my time at my age of 40, my demons seems so minor compared to his. I would love to see follow ups of John if possible. As always Mark, thank you very much for your outstanding work. A follower from Morocco.

[@kevinshapiro9525]

Many many years ago i witnessed something in Morocco that i still cant forget, i was about 10 years old n was a citizen of israel at the time, it was 1 of the most physically brutal things ive ever had the misfortune of seeing n there was nothing i could do to stop it, i hope youre safe, my friend

[@eyeswideshut.9953]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYfTZ2yJi8mjnck

[@Meangirl22]

Same here. And I turned 40 last year & I’m 4 years sober from Benzos this month among other things…. I have always said “I’m glad I never tried Heroin, because I would’ve loved it”

[@gst9325]

how is he talented ? didn't see any exhibition of any talent in this video...

[@fungus_am0nguz644]

@@kevinshapiro9525 What the hell did you saw there? did it happen in the 70s or something? Ive been there twice and had a great great time, the places i went to, the people i meet, the hotels, the food. Anyways did it had to do with religion?

[@isidorasobot8816]

This interview resembles a carefully curated and directed theater piece. Extremely powerful and heratbreakingly true. Thank you John and Mark.

[@bennykelevra6151]

It is a "theater piece", it's all imaginary. In other words the guy is a straight up liar.

[@brandonmoses1698]

@@bennykelevra6151 Exactly. Nine Quaaludes at 10 years old? I don’t doubt that he’s an addict, but all addicts are liars.

[@bopoofdt]

@@brandonmoses1698 don't think this is impossible...

[@sharonaerneckeaitchison4500]

A person with a good brain, bright, capable, artistic, and 1/2 of a normal life is over and he's still addicted ... he has had wicked things happen to him, yet can't beat the drug. I hope he finds a way.

[@dinam7144]

I went to VN Jr Hi and VN High. Back in the late ‘70’s. Drugs were everywhere. Sherman Oaks /Ventura Blvd was our stomping grounds! I lived on Hazeltine. It was very difficult to avoid drugs because it was at every turn.. You speak the truth!!!

[@krisjackson6567]

I believe you!

[@reefk8876]

I thought it was only crazy on sepulveda but the whole valleys plagued by drugs

[@AliciaM5555]

@Dina same I ran around the late 70's too, went to Milliken and was supposed to go to Grant High. I lived on Murrieta but then moved to Glendale unfortunately. I loved Sherman Oaks so much what a fun time! I am a recovering addict from H since 2008 and clean from Methadone since 2015. 🌹🌹

[@AliciaM5555]

@reef k yeah Sepulveda is insane I lived there for 3 years had my apartment broken into and everything stolen what a shit show.

[@sharoncelani5594]

I hope we can get an update on John! Truly an amazing interview. I wish him well

[@superbug1977]

He looks like he is a user. The complexion tells its own story: plenty of articulate meth heads around. But avoid them when they are hard up, jonesing; they become satan.

[@msc9127]

Please Mark, we need an aupdate!

[@mystorytonight]

What an an intelligent and adept storyteller John is. Thank you for honesty and painting your story so humanely. I sincerely hope you find a way out of your addiction one day soon. 🙏

[@scottjackson163]

This guy reminds me a lot of myself as I existed from age 13 through 15. A smorgasbord of illicit drugs, one serious overdose, shacked up with my girlfriend, away from home continually on a motorcycle. Then one day, under no pressure from anyone, I quit all of the craziness and reintegrated into normal society.

[@hoodswan166]

Some people are just meant to be listened to and John is one of them

[@micahhayes8770]

I been an H addict for 14 years. I'm 39 and Johns story scares me bc his age of 52 and he has been an addict for 35 years. I plan on going to rehab this spring but afraid at some point I will end up back being addicted and ffw I'm in my 50s like John. I hope to get clean and come to LA and tell my story on Soft White Underbelly bc I have a wild story of my addiction years.

[@iykyk-bl6ix]

Also H addict. I did rehab. It's a brainwash. I stayed clean for almost 6 months, relapsed and ODed. I've been using since. The part about getting clean that scares me is how easy it is to fatally overdose.

[@fionarobins4958]

I started using heroin at 24yrs old,I will be 49yrs in July,it only seems like yesterday I was the same age as u are now,39yrs& I really wanted 2 stop at that age&not go into my 40's still a heroin addict,&here I am almost 10yrs later&still a functional addict,who only uses 2 get well,3 shots a day,I smoked it for 20yrs,ruined my lungs,&now I inject but skin pop,coz I'm 2 scared 2 use my veins!!,I'm lucky I own my own home,have a good job in my family business,the only person who knows I'm a heroin addict is my brother,who lives with me,Please keep going with yr plan 2 go 2 rehab in the spring,coz I don't want u be like me....much love&blessings 2 u.💜

[@bellawalker54]

Mic , looking forward to hear ur story ! Hugs 💕

[@glitterinmyeyes333]

Don't wait till spring you might not make it... go to rehab this week.

[@AliciaM5555]

@Micah I started using H at 16 years old and that "love affair" lasted off and on till I was 44. I got off with methadone I wss on it 8 straight years till I had to kick 120mgs in jail. That was 7 years ago. I am clean. Kicking methadone at such a high dose cold turkey like that literally kicked my butt. But you have to want it.💕💕

[@ErikaJ1982]

People are so interesting, everyone has a life story that should be heard. Thank you Mark ❤️ Good luck John, I wish you the best and hope you find sobriety!

[@thegirlvictoria408]

I thought the same thing! I love how marks find these people. Everyone does have a story. John had a interesting one.

[@constantravens4800]

You have a story too lets hear a bit (+)

[@ErikaJ1982]

@@constantravens4800 Maybe someday I'll let Mark interview me about my addiction and recovery 😊

[@moarawkwarder]

@@RickTheScientist if only taxpayer dollars were used to help people at the neglected child and/or isolated downward spiral stages that fuel an addiction on this scale 🤔... It seems short-sighted to criticise the system when it enables addicts like John to seek treatment - or drugs, for that matter - given that it’s the exact same system which enabled his parents (and his drug dealers, medical providers, the pharmaceutical companies etc) to generate wealth. Putting the weight of the problem on the addicts is confusing to me given they are just a facet of the larger interlocking construct.

[@ValeriousRex]

This was very real. All too often we see stories of homeless drug addicts who look like they have no hope of reintegrating into society. Here, we have a well spoken character who had a lot of potential telling his story of addiction…this is what addiction usually looks like…A lot of ppl hide in plain sight and function day to day where the average person would never know.

[@ShootinStickz]

I am 20, 6 years of addictions, I have hope, a lot of trails and tribulations up to this point.. I regret nothing more than that first hit of weed.. I regret nothing more in life than that first drink, that first pill, that first line, that first hit… I will do anything and everything to inhibit the chance of every getting a spike in the arm.. working on never having a hit again, a line again, a drink or toke ever again… NA has been a good experience

[@KathleenMcCormickLCSWMPH]

John, life seems boring without drugs. I just had to hang with that for a year. Things got really exciting and interesting after that first year. You are so talented and things could open up for you in so many ways. I wish you the best.

[@notpub]

Boredom is for boring people. If you can't self entertain, or develop a hobby, or give a toss about anything besides your thrill for the day, you will be forever lost to this false lure--chasing the f-ing dragon!!! Why do you want to be such a slave? When did we decide as a culture that we must be thrilled all the time? Do you not know that without the necessity of the mundane THERE CAN BE NO UP? OR DOWN? Is life supposed to be a video game, a reality TV show, an endless tie to the bunji cord? Can you sit still? Have you ever examined nature? Have you ever cherished silence? Have you never lost yourself in a good book, a hobby, learning something new, listening to someone else? Damn, the possibilities are endless. Why is it you see only high or fix and no middle?

[@dougiebuckets1364]

@@notpub I get what your saying, but you could use a little tact my friend

[@ZeranZeran]

I needed to hear this, thank you. Also T42 is not wrong. If I'm not DOING ANYTHING how can I expect to be entertained? Gotta remember how to be a human again. I think I'm gonna start by hiking.

[@ZeranZeran]

@@notpub Depression causes boredom, when you're depressed, you don't really tend to give a F***K if people think you're boring.

[@notpub]

@Dougie Buckets Tact is for tea parties and diplomats. Ppl suffering like this want to hear the strait up truth. No sugar coating. No fairy tales that going thru the horrors of rehab will solve all ur probs. NOPE. They need love. Support. Reassurance. A listening ear. Coping skills. Realistic expectations. And hard truths. And MOST OF ALL, calling bs on their lies. IMHO. Don't soft soap it, bruh. You'll lose em. These folks have seen it all.

[@DrAL00isin]

When he spoke of the withdrawal and how bad it can be, only someone who has experienced it truly can relate. It’s like every cell in your body is in agony and screaming at you, it’s not an exaggeration. Only in patient treatment and 5 years of monitoring with 3 random drug tests a month finally worked for me. Hope he finds his path and serenity.

[@den264]

Withdrawal from 15 years of CWE method of codeine was totally insufferable. Four days of insomnia, severe diarrhea , severe leg twitches, severe nausea, severe sweating, severe nightmares, severe psychological trauma, severe paranoinoia, severe muscle aches and severe yearnings for more codeine. And all of this happens at precisely the same time with no time off for good behavior, because you bloody well can't sleep. Thank God I discovered Suboxone.

[@digineet8421]

Yeah it feels like your body is trying to turn itself inside out. It’s the worst thing I can imagine. What’s crazy is that it is all relative. What are you taking, how much and how long? It can always be worse and it makes me shudder hearing stories like this. I couldn’t do it. This guy is very strong.

[@Lil.black.dress84]

His essence is that of an old film star mixed with the thirst for drugs John Belushi possessed. He looks well for the life he has lived.

[@ryansack5198]

Nah he looks ROUGH

[@cdb48340]

@BYRRD i think he said 52

[@sundancer76]

He's lucky his parents were well off, it seems. If not, I think the circumstances would have been a lot different. He would look even rougher than this.

[@opsec5150]

He looks like David Duchovny

[@Dzanarika1]

@@ryansack5198 I bet he is better looking than you now!

[@7777Cheri]

I've been listening to Mark's interviews for about a week now. I'm a psychedelic artist! I went through my drug addiction a bit like this, coming from a family with issues, but the issues were less severe and parents who had some really strong and caring qualities. I used needles and ended up in a drug rehab at 23, and that was it for me, done! I have taken on some wine drinking off and on through the years. It's been really fascinating to see the culture shifting to a mindfulness about the use of drugs to now deal with mental illness and an America that is saturated with depression. I always felt like my little stint on drugs was purposefull, and I thank the Universe that I was able to quit ..... but I also realize in my young mind I was experimenting to break the mold ..... and I could experience that but I knew I had to do another kind of inner work to sustain and explore that ""more more more"". My artwork includes sacred geometry, its plant based with many a wild critter ...... BUT IT TAKES FOREVER! I listen to the interviews and I see all the threads of what humans reaching for ..... and I realize the success I experience is because I did it backwards. The """quick big something something"" .... seems to snag people. Here I am doing the psychedelic art now in 2022 ( my best work comes from good rest, meditation, good nutritious food, and a cup of coffee) and where it takes forever to create it, the money is coming from the SWAG it creates. Anyways, after listening to of many the interviews, I decided to respond on this one today.

[@bonniehirtz5640]

I would love to see him kick heroin and become a counselor for drug addiction. He has a way about him that grabs your attention, draws you in, and makes you want to stay and listen. He could possibly even attain the funds to some day open up his very own rehab that uses his passion for art and music as an integral part of therapy. He still has plenty of time to leave a legacy to be proud of. I wish him all the best.

[@crazycjisntsocrazy..8324]

I agree! I enjoyed watching and listening to his story. He has many gifts and talents and a world of experience and knowledge, I would love to see him achieve whatever it is that will make him happy and free from the chains of heroin addiction.

[@MrYowen88]

Yea I've heard ex addicts do make better councilors but on the other hand to stay clean many people need to completely avoid other addicts for years.

[@DR-nh6oo]

He loves his story too much, he is never helping anyone get off drugs, would love to be proved wrong but…

[@bonniehirtz5640]

@@DR-nh6oo I'll have to watch it again and see if I pick up on your point. I didn't perceive him that way initially, though. Imma watch again.

[@bonniehirtz5640]

@@MrYowen88 True

[@tracked24]

Absolutely loved this interview. We'll definitely be waiting on an update from John sometime in the future.

[@withlovejesse]

He seems like such a lovely guy, seriously. He has a way with story telling. I hope we see him clean one of these days =) Stay safe, John!

[@ThomasDoubting5]

Ive had friends who used drugs gave up was OK then decided to revisit their habit and ended up dead because they didn't factor in their tolerance level is zero and and took hit the size of their last, overdose gone I think some people need to be drug addicted a lot of sociopaths are drug addicts they suffer greatly and peace in using drugs.

[@stephenturner757]

Well, they certainly are stories. There is no way he's telling truth about taking Quaaludes. He'd have to be seventy years old for that to even be true.

[@gailmendez5465]

@@stephenturner757 Qualudes were still available up until the early 80s. I don’t know about the amount. Saddens me so many adults enabled him as a child. He had a full blown addiction as a child.

[@ProphetJayWyatt]

Just for the clarification record, being on Suboxone/Methadone/ETC. is not clean. It just means that the government is now your drug dealer! Addiction being a disease is a theory. Those who can not control their use are just weak minded, unable to take the bad with the good!! Whoop Whoop!!!

[@ThomasDoubting5]

@@ProphetJayWyatt he who smelt it delt it. You are the weakness which is why you say the things you do, you do nothing in life because your scared shitless to you don't live you exist and fuck all else. You need to look closer to home for the blame nasty human.

[@Modernmeemsshop]

The Janes Addiction glamourization of Heroin -esp Gift - affected me as an impressionable artist. Its so easy to take that path.

[@LK-cc4uj]

This is such a fantastic interview. I really appreciate John's openness and honest communication.

[@leolady6588]

There's another guy who interviews homeless people. (Invisible People channel). He interviewed a guy named Larry 12 years ago who was homeless at Santa Monica Beach. Exactly the same as John but older by about 22 years. He was from NY. Same hair, same attitude, same in a suit. Same type of talk. Same smoke in hand. Cool dude. Great way about him. Uncanny similarities . Ah John, leave the late 80s/90's behind. Get clean man. Embrace 52. It's a blessing you have escaped a bitter end so far. Don't be a statistic. Don''t just exist like a ghost in a past long gone. Lot's of life left to re invent yourself and start living without addiction.

[@contessaanthrope5775]

He is still romanticizing being a junkie, been there done that. Its hard if you are an artist and musician, it seems like part of the "outcast" culture. First step is to embrace the normie world, get a steady eddy job, set a routine and get yer ass on methadone of suboxone. You never have to abandon your talents, but put them on the back burner as hobbies just for a while to distance yourself from the scene.

[@c.erine78]

Beautifully spoken, good lesson for many people. TY

[@ChrisfromGeorgia]

@@askledhead Your comment is spot on! Damn, I won't lie, sometimes the stigma really gets me down. Take care Sofa King and I want to wish you and yours nothing but the best! 😎✌️

[@brianplunkett4002]

I recently had a friend who perished to alcoholism. I think in his mind, drInking was a conduit to a Hemingway or Bukowski novel. Drugs and alcohol have been romanticized for years. I can see the allure, and how it could consume you, but people often make their own choices with little regard of the consequences. After years and years of such abuse that cycle is difficult to break. Honestly, I think addiction made my friend feel validated.. However, you’re right . There is plenty of life left for him. Don’t waste it man ✌️.

[@blahpunk1]

@@askledhead - Hell we would all be better off if the government was our dealer. At least they can keep purity and dosages straight so that it isn't a guessing game all the time.

[@cornelia9778]

What an astounding story. Starting at 10! It’s amazing he seems to have survived with his brain cells and creativity intact.. Good luck to you. I hope you kick it and live a constructive long life.

[@gailmendez5465]

I wish John the best. But as he said he has to WANT to fully quit. He doesn’t take drugs when he writes music with one of his colleagues. He looks well for his age considering the life he has lead. The difference of quality drugs. But at the end of the day he’s still suffering and in his own hell. The best to you. Love your music and art more than your drugs. I think you’ve made your point and proved to your dad you’re one of the best well preserved heroin addicts around. It’s going to come a time your gf will have to make a decision stay with you or stay clean. That’s just how addiction works. When you least expect it. It calls you back in. Good luck

[@GinaJyneen]

I love these type of interviews. Very crazy and sad story but had me locked in!

[@dianemtuttle2107]

Agree.

[@steveeemadden431]

Facts

[@happylarry7533]

i like this guy already and im 3 minutes into his video

[@benaiahwright937]

Yeah, his childhood made me sad.

[@gsk5161]

Me too

[@beebee2781]

John, I am Orthodox and St. Nekatrious is a very famous saint. It's worth reading his story if you havent already. Even if you dont believe. If your ancestors were from Greece, they may have even known him (or at least of him). I hope you find your peace from this some day. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@SevenDeeone]

thank you john. i greatly enjoyed hearing your story. i really connected. i too am a 30 year addict. i am clean from drugs for 3 years but am still detoxing from methadone for the 10th time . If nothing else i found your story of the holy water to be amazingly inspiring. i too play guitar and am really finding my own faith these days. If nobody tells you they love you today i do. I am trying hard also to promote love and caring on this planet in these trying times. God bless..

[@yungdopedealer2765]

Keep spreading the love man we need more of it in our world ❤

[@dolph8008]

Keep it up man! Keep grinding guitar playing as well my brother!

[@rainmanj9978]

Can you get off methadone ever I don't believe this guy 5 mg of methadone is equivalent to 10 mg of 0xyxodone. But how'd u get off it?

[@my-miniaturemadness]

John, thank you, truly, for your honesty. You do have purpose, your addiction in no way diminishes the light of your spirit. It shines through all the muck this world covers you in. The lives you reach through sharing your experience will make a positive impact. One day, you will know exactly how, and you will know why your life was exactly as it needed to be. God continue to bless you.

[@bettersteps]

This is one of the most fascinating videos/interviews I've ever seen on this channel.

[@wesleyAlan9179]

Its a good'n, no doubt 😁👍

[@maverickbull1909]

someone says this on every single video lol is it you?

[@bettersteps]

@@maverickbull1909 Nope. Never seen a comment like mine before.

[@jamesoskey5582]

Mark these videos that you are making are just like going to an NA or an AA meeting! This helps me Mark! Through the rough times I'm going through with just recently losing my mother in April! John thanks for your story! I know that's the only one/ I have many!

[@keeper6458]

I'm so sorry for your loss James.... I pray for comforting for you....

[@eyeswideshut.9953]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYfTZ2yJi8mjnck

[@donnaleesalerno]

James, I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother 💔

[@kayem9909]

Can we get an update on this man? Such a wonderful storyteller.

[@dd52161]

Hey, John passed in April 2023 from a fentanyl OD

[@klarasipova1018]

@dd61125 hey, can i ask where did you find this information? Thanks:)

[@mr.makedonija2627]

​@@klarasipova1018I'm curious as well.

[@oelsaratla5210]

hey, how is he called? where die u get the info?

[@dd52161]

@@klarasipova1018 hey, how about you keep your nose out of business that isn't yours ? Thanks:)

[@SheenaRea]

Look at all that potential. He is really beautiful. A "diamond in the rough." God I hate what drugs do to someone. They destroy the Truth of what you could be. All the best to you, John. You have so much to give to the world.

[@edydon]

This is the sad reality. Once, me and my friends decided to give out free tacos to the homeless around Penn Station, NY. When you take the time to get to know these people, you see many are articulate, intelligent people whose lives have been mangled by drugs or alcohol.

[@standdownrobots_ihaveoldglory]

It wows me that Mark came to this through portrait photography & has done this all so well - both the content and the behind the scenes with vulnerable subjects. And the comment section tends to be smart, considerate, & very supportive. This might be my favorite place on the internet. Ps I am not dissing portrait photography BTW, but it's very different from video interviews, especially when the artist genuinely prioritizes ethics and offering real assistance...while working with brilliant but unpredictable people that most of us would not be able to help effectively. I appreciate how much he's obviously learned in order to be a better interviewer and a better supporter. Most people can't accept the reality of addiction and longterm high risk behavior, and therefore our help inevitably is not rooted in evidence based practices. It's often hard to swallow the truths about addiction & its patterns - mark set aside romantic or simplistic notions and it is so fantastic to see that.

[@malachidavie5764]

Only interview I’ve watched all the way through. What an amazing story teller , nothing but the best wishes for him !

[@sup393]

Mark John's portrait is absolutely beautiful. Very interesting fellow. He made it to 52 because of luck and money. Hope he doesn't run out of either. He deserves a few drug free years if he wants it

[@burntout4268]

Drug-free years? Are you f****** kidding?

[@jasonq111]

I do not understand guys like John. He’s my age EXACTLY and obviously quite charming and intelligent. I understand childhood boredom and trying drugs. Who hasn’t? I grew up in Houston which was a cocaine and ecstasy capital in the 80’s. I hope he can get things turned around.

[@poliziagrammaticale9430]

@@jasonq111 Reality is for those who can't deal with drugs.

[@trademarked2476]

@@jasonq111 I’m an addict to nicotine and weed. If I tried another drug I would become addicted forever so that’s why I don’t. Some people can’t handle addiction and their own temptations.

[@jasonq111]

@@trademarked2476 understood. I empathize!

[@tifKh]

Mark, thank you for hanging in, and continuing to teach us and provide exposure to people some of us might otherwise not get a chance to. I know it isn’t easy for you sometimes. I speak for many of us, thank you.

[@bpennreddogmom3355]

My niece and brother weren't "at that point" and sadly lost their battles with addiction in 2020. A childhood friends daughter was found outside and unresponsive 2 days ago. Still unresponsive and sadly her battle with addiction is about to be over. Hope John gets "to that point" before it's too late. Best wishes to u John that u find recovery 🙏🏼

[@keeper6458]

God bless you....many prayers to you 🙏

[@helium5912]

Hes been doing drugs for 30+ years. Im sure hes been to that point many times. Hes gonna be a lifer.

[@helium5912]

@S.M Yeah, some people watch videos and think they know addiction. I have family members older than me and im 33 that have been doing drugs longer than im alive, and they will never stop. I hate the saying "Theres no such thing as a old heroin addict" cause thats a completely false statement.

[@curtislv426]

I like this guy a lot. He was incredibly interesting and well spoken. His stories never drifted to rambling and confusion. I think Mark only asked him two questions.

[@TheRealUnknownMusician]

What you are doing with this channel is so important right now. Keep up the good work.

[@ilarious5729]

Well this is gonna be interesting. Already after 5 minutes I can say hopefully we get more videos with this guy.

[@nicholasbendele5911]

Of all the videos I've watched on this channel I most identify with this guy. I completely understand his childhood and his present day struggles. I myself got sick of being my own worst enemy and got clean. Working on 8 years thank God. I sincerely wish this guy the best of luck

[@icescrew1]

It would be completely cool to hear this guy clean and speaking at an NA convention. His story is truth. And he's a great storyteller. Wish him the best.

[@bennykelevra6151]

You won't hear him speaking at a NA convention because they wouldn't put up with all his lies.

[@joem13yearsago73]

@@bennykelevra6151 you are lying benny

[@clintmullins8670]

Which lies though?

[@MAC-jl7uk]

NA and NA conventions and 12 step doorknob worship in general is a fate worse than death.

[@GlowingFernSlowedAndReverb]

We dont know if it is but I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

[@davelafave6678]

He has literally redesigned his brain's neuropathways. Like a house held up on stilts and his stilts are STRONG. This is actually quite a success story - in that - he is "successfully" using which is the dream of all of us addicts. It will not last but in the meantime, he is a marvelous presence.

[@jnmortell66]

As opposed to figuratively redesigning his brain's neuropathways?

[@TEM14411]

Amen. Agreed.

[@NASkeywest]

I would not say it’s successful. Think of where he would be in life if he was sober….

[@loriholman1459]

He can't remember in the week in school but remember's this? And the age,just other things. WEIRD

[@Eskay94]

You can tell that most of his stories are bullshit with a hunt of truth in there

[@extendedplay8830]

I’ve been clean for 13 yrs ( 1 day @ a time ) - listening to this guy explain his journey in addiction- brings me back to hell - I’ve never done H - I’m so glad 🙂 so grateful I got clean Hope this guy finds recovery before it’s too late - great content - good job 👍🏾

[@halfgazo]

Hands down, the best testimonial I've experienced. I found it to be without glorification or horrify-cation. John is such an eloquent speaker. I wish him the best.

[@nintendoor1]

I think everyone should watch this series. There is so much stigma and so many stereotypes associated with addicts, but what some fail to realize, is that these are human beings with lives and stories, and are often times caring and loving people who are sick. Most people here are maybe 2-3 emergencies / bad luck streaks away from ending up in the same situation. Thank you for keeping this going

[@Saritabanana]

Thank you so much for saying this ❤

[@daveyvane]

Yes, it makes losers seem ok.

[@ogtaper6386]

Well it’s going off track now with all the ladyboy content now ,

[@nintendoor1]

@@ogtaper6386 why, because you’re transphobic?

[@ogtaper6386]

@@nintendoor1 I’m not gonna take someone who licks toilet seats seriously 💀.

[@heathermeaney4967]

I have lost so many people to drugs. Wonderful people that I miss every day. I wish you all the best John. Thank you.

[@patrickraftery.]

I'm the same age as this guy. 3 days ago I had my last one mil dose of methadone. I haven't used heroin in 7 years, the methadone worked for me eventually. I injected for 3 months, I liked it but knew it would end in death. I was a smoker of heroin. If they put him on 80 mil a day now he could reduce one mil a week for 18 months. In that 18 months he could stabilize and get use to not using. He's very likeable I hope he succeeds.

[@danvincent2600]

I only injected for 13 years but then started a dolophine script and it has helped enormously

[@denalinde]

Good luck.

[@jessicajennifer9827]

@@danvincent2600 I've never heard of dolophine?? Is that like methadone?

[@juliannmnnnm]

@@jessicajennifer9827 its a brand of methadone

[@jessicajennifer9827]

@@juliannmnnnm Thank you! I'd never heard of that before! I wish everyone well on their road to recovery

[@rossm8231]

Sad to see that he hasn’t had his moment of clarity yet. This story ALWAYS ends the same way unless something changes….

[@kitschmygrits4836]

The moment of clarity is a miracle gift that not everyone gets to experience. Maybe if he prays for one every day...

[@ryan4926]

Define moment of clarity

[@a.wanderer5006]

It sounds like he is pretty careful though, checking to make sure it doesn't have fent in it -- most addicts don't do that. William Burroughs lived into his 80s despite the drugs and bad karma.

[@out_to_sea]

Heroin doesn't give a fuck about your moment of clarity.

[@MrJrpimp]

Nothing changes, if nothing changes .

[@steadytime]

I’ve seen all the videos and this one is personally my favorite. He is sharing so much knowledge from experience. These older folks with experience share such amazing videos. Thanks again for an amazing video. Love this channel.

[@katarinahinsey3931]

Mark. Your form of art - of making a portrait with interviews- is amazing. It really captures this moment in our human journey. I hope someday you have the inclination to expand to other countries as well. ❤

[@sjmac9737]

Sadly, I hit the trifecta. Both kids and my wife addicted to opiates. All "accidentally" got addicted. My wife for pain and my boys from teenage experimentation. I once had a nice family, now 20 years of horror with a broken marriage (she is now clean) one son gone and the other in a daily fight and 20 years of life at it's worst. Financial ruin from all of the usual consequences - jail, bail, medical, theft, rehab and keeping people housed and fed who could not keep jobs. Don't sign up for this. It will wreck everything and for no purpose. With that said, if a loved one becomes addicted, do all you can to stop it early. Move, spend all of your money on good rehab, monitor the addict every minute of every day, and never believe them until they can prove they are clean. Our country was flooded with prescription opiates from about 20 years ago. The government, drug companies and doctors allowed this to happen. They are all culpable and must do more to stop it. One person addicted and 10 people crying. Everybody do more to save family's who suffer from this. They need you.

[@ffreezze3624]

Im seeing some of my friends lose themself but I really dont know what I can do about it because I was like that too..

[@champagnecocaine569]

@@ffreezze3624 u can’t help them if they don’t want to change bro, it’s life, a sad reality.

[@zoe9632]

I'm sorry for the decades of trauma & loss of your son.

[@DevHazy]

Yep rock bottom. Let them hit early!!

[@reemclaughlin4260]

S J Mac, so sorry. 🙏🏼♥️☮️🕊

[@IAmTomorrow]

As an opiate addict for many years, this video was so well articulated. Methadone saved my life. I have been working my way to get off this liquid shackle but it has saved my life ultimately

[@danvincent2600]

Likewise, from Wales

[@David-og7di]

Same from New Zealand. Peace guys.

[@christiegroves]

If I can offer some advice, anything is possible if you put your mind to it, one day you just stop, one day when enough is enough and you want to reinvent yourself you will know, you will just be done. Bless you all, from Seattle.

[@sspsp6545]

You're still in a better place than being on street drugs. You'll get there.

[@SaltyKoalaBear]

Take a knarly dose of Ayahuasca and you'll never touch either again

[@tristarperfecta1061]

The parts where he's talking about stealing from his parents puts a wrench in my gut. I've stolen thousands from my parents when i was a kid and they never said a thing either. It hurts me now. I wish they caught me and punished me severely.

[@unorthdoxcleric6953]

Yeah me too buddy and its something that we are going to have to live with for the rest of our lives. I'm certainly not proud of what I have done and if I let it it would end me.

[@PhantomOfThePsy-Opera]

But you said it best.... You were a kid.... Don't hold that guilt brother it will ruin you.... Kids do dumb shit, we grow up and learn... It seemed like you learned... Time to let it go, if it bothers you so bad you can feel that void by doing random stuff for strangers.... I promise it will make you feel good inside.... Coming from someone who was a terrible child, I know all too well how you feel....salute

[@stevenopolis23]

I stole from my parents as a teen..they passed when I was 17. I've spent my life hating myself for those choices and building an entire persona to cover up that guilt.

[@lightweight5276]

I caught my son stealing. I broke my foot off in ass. Problem solved.

[@willjackson4596]

At the peak of my benzo addiction when I was 16/17/18 I would steal Klonopin, Xanax, and Oxy's from my mom. I was eventually caught and still feel horrible to this day as a 22 year old. Even as an addict it is important to maintain your moral compass.

[@trudirufmord1006]

Handsome man, such a kind voice and talking... enjoyed every second. Beautiful eyes and a good heart -- you're very smart, John, I can imagine you are playing the guitar great with these fine hands. You'll win -- such free souls and lively minds always win! Greetings from Germany

[@zosemabubble7825]

What an eloquent man, he seems to have real insight into his situation. I wish him well and hope he can overcome his addictions and live a fulfilling life.