Functional Heroin Addict interview-Matthew

Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Matthew, a functional heroin addict from San Francisco.
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[@stcroixatlast]

I was a functioning addict for almost ten years until I ended up in a hospital. 7 months clean and life is amazing ❤️ Edit: 2 years now ❤️ Edit: 3 years now ❤️

[@twattish00]

Good for you dude

[@divinitynicole6198]

Beautiful! Stay Strong sweetie! Just as many people who are on it, there's just as many success stories of people staying clean also!

[@kaidensu]

Congrats to you, keep it up!!

[@Zwt256]

Keep it up pal

[@maryjanegreen8687]

Congratulations!

[@coutureitup]

It’s very strange, people keep saying “he seems like a nice guy you’d never know” SO many addict are amazing sensitive people. It’s so sad that so many people just think an addict is a bad person.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Right!?

[@ripsandyjlopez8328]

I agree but theres people i know who were great people before hard drugs and then turned to a manipulative monster just to get there hands on drugs, theres bad addicts because of the drugs there addicted too. It sucks but theres not much you can do about an addict besides watch or try and get them help that they likely wont want

[@cassiekat4055]

Right? Thank you.

[@johnhopkins7039]

Drug addicts are on average better people than non addicts. People who go through more shit are just kinder not to mention far more interesting

[@cassiekat4055]

@@johnhopkins7039 im an addict. Heroin addict clean 5 years i have not met a ton of nice wholesome addicts while using... But after they get clean i agree with you.

[@K4U533Y]

It’s amazing to me that almost every interview, the person being interviewed speaks for so long after the first question. You can really tell that they’re exited to speak. Maybe for the money, maybe for the therapy. Either way, these people get to have a voice for a moment. That’s beautiful

[@curiousme113]

They're not used to people listening to them and when Mark does it encourages them to keep talking

[@scottbartlett4853]

Well, they interview the ones that don't talk...

[@cocacolaman7092]

exactly@@curiousme113

[@mikeys1816]

Regarding the numb hand waking up at night, I get that too alot! But I think it's cos I've slept on it lol

[@fleadoggreen9062]

When I went to therapy At first I was quiet After a while it got a lot easier

[@beckybecky1725]

Don’t try these drugs, people. I just went to an 18 year olds funeral and it was absolutely devastating

[@brettwilson3859]

I was once a functioning heroin addict, until I ran out of money. Eventually, no matter how much your making, you can't keep up with the ever increasing habit. Over 2 year clean from everything now.

[@npmerrill]

Happy for you and yours, and for addicts ready to hear your comment who stumble across it: it’s doable. Thanks for posting.

[@juliej8102]

Hi Brett... good for you!! How did you eventually stop?

[@iradhackleenmacaba6747]

How:(

[@thefacelessasmrtist468]

@@iradhackleenmacaba6747 by not using? Tf you mean

[@hummingbird8707]

@@thefacelessasmrtist468 It’s not always that easy, sometimes you need help. Heroin withdrawal can kill you so if someone who’s addicted is asking for help let’s not snap at them. ✌️

[@juliustheillustrious7727]

This dude looks like he's gonna invent the personal computer

[@Mizzle420420]

Steve Wazniak clone for sure

[@HarmlessComment]

I work in IT and my coworker Elliott looks and sounds just like this dude, he's also from the Hayward area lol

[@Hoosier81]

🤣🤣🤣

[@haratiiaswegobandi746]

Waz lol

[@Chobaca]

😂

[@HudsonJay]

I've been addicted to heroin for 11 years, after trying out psilocybin treatment I will be 2 years clean

[@AnitaPhilips]

I would love to try them, does anyone know where I can source them? 0:03

[@HummersCatherina]

dr.johnsonshroom is your guy. Best shrooms and psychedelics guy I know.

[@MichaelLucos]

​@@HummersCatherinaIs he on insta? 0:03

[@JenniferJeffs]

​@@MichaelLucosOf course, dr.johnsonshroom 0:03

[@JosephRichard-zo6wf]

Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health, they really helped me.

[@patrickpaalman]

He looks like he was teleported directly from the 70's

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

🙃

[@natahliak7691]

"I was never good enough for my dad" That one statement tells me everything.

[@fiddycent6307]

Me too. I can relate. Never good enough for my Mom.

[@stevensonjc21]

Same

[@nicolejames8670]

Same here

[@aliseegenuine6414]

A child has their own self imposed feelings of what they think are their parents standards! Most times, it is the child who is making their own evaluation of themselves. Most often a child sees the parent as a goal of sorts. A child will never be the same age of the biological parent at the same time. The parent will never return to the child’s age at the same time. Never be the same at the same time. SMH!

[@natahliak7691]

@@aliseegenuine6414 So very true.

[@Ron-ec4pf]

I was a functioning addict on oxy and fentanyl laced pills until I ran out on vacation. sober since July, 9 months sober!

[@Smacks1]

Keep it up bro good job. I’m going on 4 months off of heroin. 209 in the house haha

[@Ron-ec4pf]

@@Smacks1 415, NorCal! All us Bay heads, like us

[@coreyr.2171]

@@Ron-ec4pf can u help?

[@TimSmith-ds4ti]

@corey R, there are medications which can help with opioid withdrawals, but your better to do it cold turkey as you can re train the associations in your brain. I was a coke addict but managed to get off it cold turkey and did a rehab course by a company called Intuitive Recovery which I would highly recommend for someone trying to get over drug abuse

[@Smacks1]

@@coreyr.2171 I wasn’t able to pull cold turkey myself I had gone to a rehab and they use Suboxon to help. If u haven’t tried kratom then id say try it out. I’m no doctor by any means but I looked it up and decided to try it and it actually did help for withdrawal. Do your own research and decide if it’s something u wanna try. Best of luck to u bro

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Is he on instagram?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

[@Malikrooney-hq5jj]

Heroin addiction actually destroyed my life. I spent my whole life fighting Heroin addiction. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@Cate-sn2km]

Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.

[@JanetRichardson-mq5es]

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

[@DonnHowes]

YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@Mcdogmom288]

100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma

[@MarcWilliams-dz7ik]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@Vanessa-ev1le]

I feel like he’s really hurt inside but he tries to hide that cause people think that he had an “easy” life, the suffering of other people don’t erase your suffering

[@iimDanii]

🎯

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

That’s a good point

[@Joseph-gq9us]

@@iimDanii I'm dirty Dan!

[@iimDanii]

@@Joseph-gq9us no IM dirty dan god damnit

[@LBsixx]

this is why i tried xans a few years ago. i’m lucky i didn’t ruin my life. you called it spot on tho🖤💯🙏

[@wouldyoulikeapickle]

This is a guy you end up talking to when you're a plus one at a house party. Seems sweet, kind, intelligent, funny and deeply insecure.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you

[@Sapioso]

I’ve had a few bowls with a few strangers like him at parties. Good storytellers.

[@lovelesstv]

but they're GENUINE!!!

[@brianbishop9905]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake you remind me a lot of myself in some ways, and we're about the same age. The new perspectives that PE6 magic mushrooms offered me, helped me fix decades of mental miswiring that I had caused myself. The mushrooms helped me recognize and validate my sensitivities and fears, as well as understand those of others, which in turn helped me see why people do certain things. ..things that hijacked my brain and brought on torturous circular thinking that lasted for wayyy too long. The mushrooms help block my own biases and allow me to analyze things from a position of pure consciousness, with wisdom and calmness like I hadn't ever experienced in my adult life. I hadn't experienced the wonder of life as I do now since I was a child. True change comes from within, when we face our ugly ego and look at things for exactly what they really are. Forget about not being enough for someone else; nothing will ever be enough for them, until they kill their own ego. I had a struggle within me for decades while I failed to recognize the fact that certain people whom I loved very much didn't have the capacity to love me with the same ferocity I was attempting to love with, and while I now understand that they simply were not emotionally capable of it, it burned me up inside for years how they would repeatedly mistreat me, yet rarely make it right. Ain't nobody got time for that poison. I should not have wasted time hoping they would care enough to acknowledge my pain or express remorse in any way. I was trying to make do with the friends I had, but I would encourage my former self to recognize my value must come from within and we must limit contact with people who are in the habit of suggesting or acting as though you aren't enough. You're already enough, Matt. It is only yourself who needs to see it, and truly recognize it. When we have self assurance, we can appreciate the applause of others, but we certainly don't need it, even if it is our own dad. I sat on the sidelines with my piss poor courage, waiting to feel like an adult and grab hold of this merry-go-round of life while feeling bitter at my peers who already naturally felt like adults, champions even, and claimed what they wanted in life, as we all should be able to. Reach out and grab what you want. You can indeed embrace change; you have that power, but you must first embrace a new perspective of your life, and of your consciousness in general. Mushrooms can be scary and uncomfortable, but they can be an invaluable lifeline to a new perception and the ensuing change that comes from internal revelation. As I value myself today, I find it far easier to experience extreme joy in life without the need of harmful substances to smooth things over because the vale of locked-in perceptions has been lifted. My third eye is open, I guess i'd say. I still microdose mushrooms here and there to challenge my perception, but I was able to ditch my prescription meds ten years after a proper dosage ramp-down, and I've never been better I have never felt so fulfilled in life as I do now, and I wish a similar awakening to you. Your soul deserves it.

[@mtvwokery]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake I love you dawg stay safe

[@Dylanm84]

This guy really describing the least traumatic childhood ever as a backstory to his heroin use

[@dangardave6442]

As a functioning heroin addict for 10 years myself, i related on so many levels with Matthew. My life was slightly different as I spent those 10 years raising my son by myself. However, "functioning" is very subjective. I worked 5 days a week and provided my son with food, shelter and love, so to others I appeared very functional. But looking back at that time I didn't grow emotionally for a decade. I lied to my family and friends for a decade. My health suffered for a decade. Close relationships were non existent for a decade. The only relationship I had was with smack. Like Matthew, my saving grace was my hatred of needles. I snorted heroin daily. An intervention by friends and family was the turning point. However, I insisted that I couldn't go to rehab because I couldn't leave my son. So, with the help of buprenorphine (a wonder drug in my mind) I kicked it on my own. 13 years clean now and my life is wonderful. I'm not full of regrets about my addiction. The catalyst for my heroin use was finding my fiance dead on my birthday to suicide. Heroin was the perfect cure to my pain. At the time it was my saving grace. However, I actually had to go through the grieving process properly after I got clean. Moral of the story: we're all different and handle things differently. Pure heroin by itself is not the devil. The black market and price of it is what causes the thieving, lying arsehole to manifest itself in most cases. Matthew seems like a lovely guy. I wish him the best of luck. I hope he makes it out the other side.

[@dangardave6442]

Oooh, I've just seen there's a follow up video! Now I'm optimistic.

[@IainReid-lw8nm]

Big hug muppet

[@mattbradshaw3290]

❤

[@ShadowyBlink]

Thanks for writing this and happy you made a wonderful life for yourself

[@rudedude1686]

If they made opioids legal, sell it in special places or pharmacies, for cheap ....it would solve so many problems, saved so many lives, so much money ...it's not even funny. America is so stu*id it's unbelievable, and thanks to her ignorance and puritanism, the whole World has to suffer.

[@isaakfaulk8067]

Looks like this guy came straight out of 1975.

[@Milark]

Wait is this a modern interview?

[@nikoandriopoulos5161]

@@Milark yes lol

[@outriderjuno9371]

literally the same thought here.

[@franciscosalgado3114]

Love that band, but I just don't see it...

[@levicohen7333]

@@franciscosalgado3114 he meant the year 1975. Lol.

[@Happyfoam-lw3yt]

This is cool and all, but don't. You AREN'T this guy. Heroin will absolutely ruin your life. Just don't.

[@ajnatterstad]

i guarantee his situation is twice as worse as he says

[@DaNewWrksOfMeh]

True

[@LOLLYPOPPE]

I hope there's a new video in 5 years.

[@retteketette]

He said he rather live without it, and if he could, took the advice from friends to stay off opiates.

[@dominiquedoeslife]

I mean...you know this isn't a pro-being a heroin addict video, right? Like...the message here isn't "BE A HEROIN ADDICT." The message is addicts are people too.

[@singingbeyond2160]

This guy is a really good story teller, most people overlook it but thats actually a talent not alot of people have, was engaged the whole time. ur a cool guy matt

[@hmq9052]

Drugs are cool. That's why

[@brendanduhamel6614]

Funny, I came to the comments looking for someone saying the opposite. He has that habit of many drug users to tell stories which must seem interesting in their heads but came out as confused and random. I think it has something to do with the delivery; emphasis at weird parts, no build up, etc. The way he tells stories is what gives him away as a heavy user

[@rustcohle6149]

this guy is a terrible storyteller and completely retarded. He cried that he ODed, your doing drugs moron its part of it.

[@SonySamtron]

@@brendanduhamel6614 I think you're just a bad listener.

[@zachb9440]

lol he’s not really a good story teller. his tone fluctuates to keep your attention but that’s about it. He emphasizes random details too much and tells stories in a nonlinear way… so no, I wouldn’t call him a “good” story teller

[@CL-333]

I graduated from college and held down a job while being addicted to opiates. And yes the most sensitive people are drawn to drugs because of the emotional pain in life. Some of the kindest people i met were addicts. Till drugs finally made them die, your soul dies before your physical body.

[@britmart1397]

The man is saying he's an addict and wants to quit several times.. He's not in denial. He's not praising it. He's just being honest about his journey with drugs!! Prayers for him and all suffering. And again, blessings to you Mark

[@AM-vk2yq]

When it comes to drugs like heroin its kind of hard to deny you're an addict. You know you are you just don't care when youre deep into it, until it gets to that point where you are ready to do anything to stop (hopefully)

[@brandonluther80]

Took me a long time and I thought I'd never get over it. One day I did. I worked the entire time. It can be done.

[@umdasu]

hes a cry baby. ive been through similar shit growing up maybe worse. my mother is an alcoholic. i never developed drug addictions. each mind is different of course. but some one needs to tell him hes a cry baby

[@thisismichael2812]

@@umdasu well I don't think it's ever fair to compare lives to somone because once again we have only heard about 30 minutes of his life and just because someone had a shit life doesn't mean they do drugs, I see the upper class kids in high school doing more drugs then I've ever done.

[@umdasu]

@@thisismichael2812 i was raised in the US im in BR right now trust hes crying about his first world problems. he needs to be slapped back into reality. not all users just this one case here.

[@dreroy599]

My uncle just OD’d this week his funeral is tomorrow. I just stumbled across this video. Please stay away from needles it’s not worth it.

[@sloyota-Koa]

love n prayers for you and your family. stay safe

[@murderinc.hunting7686]

🙏 condolences my friend

[@zayinhagemeier4351]

I’m sorry for your loss, prayers

[@mw2kingk]

No I love dog food

[@jcmm99]

My friend od'd a few years ago... We were 18. Hold your head, it's rough

[@monytontana5184]

Same here, I was "functional" until I wasn't. All it takes its one bad event and sends you down a spiral you can't hold onto. I was good for like 8 years, then a depressive, wreckless mess for 2yrs. Lost friends, family, jobs. I'm now on a path of sobriety I never thought was possible. Approaching 2 months clean of heroin, weed, ect. I occasionally drink, but for the most part, I'm just naturally joyful nowadays. Seriously, we'll say anything to rationalize our habits. But in the end, it's a demon that wants your soul. Eventually, it WILL end in death. Abstinence is the best way to live a fulfilling life!

[@lflex6864]

you still good man?

[@user-ur9bj9un9u]

^

[@marcomedina8272]

I was thinking the same thing, but my drug of choice was alcohol. Meth, heroin, and everything else were just fun things to add for an extra buzz if I came across them. I was "functional" up until physical dependency hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't go longer than an hour without a drink before I'd start shaking, puking and getting panic attacks and seizures. I was putting back between 20 and 30 tall cans of steel reserve a day, calling myself "functional." Like you said, we all say we're functional to justify the fact that we're full blown addicted. I hope you're doing well.

[@monytontana5184]

@@lflex6864 yess! I'm really good! 4/20/24 I reached 1 yr sober & still rolling strong! From unemployed junkie to $50k/yr within a year. Sobriety is still the way to go...

[@sieratoles3563]

I was a functioning heroin/fentanyl addict for 2 years. I’ve been clean for over a year after 3 overdoses and a year of methadone treatment. Getting off drugs was the hardest thing and probably will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hang in there, life gets better once you kick the bad habits.❤

[@apebeats6631]

Congratulations on your sobriety. Only people who've themselves experienced addiction can truly understand what an incredible victory sobriety is. It takes a special individual to survive and conquer opioid addiction, especially methadone. So just know, you're a badass.

[@hattchetman_2128]

two years lmao you weren't an addict you just were addicted there is a difference.

[@apebeats6631]

@@hattchetman_2128 Why you spreadin negativity bud? It doesn't matter, the intensity of a person's addiction. If someone is reliant upon a substance to attain their daily goals, and/or find happiness or meaning in their lives, they're an addict. Doesn't matter if they've been relying on it for a couple months, or a couple years. We should hold each other up my friend. We're special. We've seen a side of life that many never will, and it provides us with a deeper insight, and empathy for others in a similar situation. We need to care about each other, because most of these Doctors don't give a shit. Most of society doesn't give a shit. So if we don't recognize, and love and help each other, who else will?

[@hattchetman_2128]

@@apebeats6631 lmao no one cares kid, you are a chump

[@apebeats6631]

@@hattchetman_2128 lol I'm a grown man. You're the one with the problem. Hope you get yourself figured out.

[@WhatsupWorldPodcastLLC]

Do you notice how he’s so specific and descriptive? That comes from his Dad. He feels if he doesn’t explain each detail exactly no one will understand him. I bet it’s a huge fear for him.

[@michellewormuth9919]

I feel like this comment made me realize so much about myself haha. I explain every single detail so that people can “understand” me. I’m the youngest of 5 and never felt heard… seems so obvious but I’ve honestly never realized this before 🤯

[@WhatsupWorldPodcastLLC]

@@michellewormuth9919 it’s most common among middle children. I myself am a middle child and have been this way my entire life. It also is due to a lack of self worth in some instances. Usually at no fault of their own but because of specific personality traits that seem to be brought on by simple interactions with other as well as traumatic experiences that the person has never forgotten.

[@HenchGelBall]

Bruh... I also feel like this comment made me realise that about myself and I’m the middle child (3rd of 5)

[@WhatsupWorldPodcastLLC]

@@HenchGelBall it’s true. It usually makes people hyper sensitive to others and very thoughtful and caring individuals. Also they are usually very affectionate people and understand the importance of thankfulness and showing love and respect for others. Not always but most of the time.

[@shannon_w.]

That’s me to a “T”!!!!! I know I am doing it and in my head I’m saying “SHUT UP SHANNON!!!! They don’t need to know EVERY detail about what your saying!” But I can’t stop myself. I have an older brother who wasn’t raised with me but my ex was EXTREMELY abusive in EVERY way so maybe that’s where it comes from. I hate being that way!!!!

[@anythingspossible.]

He looks like he's straight out of that 70s show. God Bless him

[@OmniscientEmina]

Exactly what I was thinking the entire time I was watching this 😂

[@WhoIsJaiK]

Lol Hyde 😂

[@OmniscientEmina]

@@WhoIsJaiK Hyde’s younger brother 😂

[@jondoe4807]

Lmao I said this too 🤣😂🤣

[@SpartansAndHeroes]

He’s been home from Vietnam for a year and he’s having troubles fitting back into society have some respect.

[@44nk96]

Mark’s still image of his interviewees slowly panning from top to bottom is so powerful; you really SEE the person in such a vulnerable way.

[@mabuhayPinay]

All the best, Matt, I hope you get over the addiction. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@alexmurphy5289]

He’s clean now. He looks like he’s a musician from the 1970s lol but I’m really glad he’s good now. Also, he’s incredibly well spoken and accepting of his shortcomings. I’m not surprised he turned his stuff around

[@anindustryplant7449]

I’ve been looking for any sort of an update on homie right here, super happy for him

[@benlambert2291]

Jake paul

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@anindustryplant7449 there’s two follow up interviews

[@trestres4151]

Where did you get the update from?

[@mysticenoctua]

yeaaa!!!! like a supertramp member

[@KarinCrona]

He should be a writer. I love the way he tells his story. Addiction is sadly such a thief of sensitive souls.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

I would but it’s hard for me to care about creating things and showing people. I put my heart and soul into being a musician until I was 27 and gave up and started the opiates. Now I’m clean and felt really creative and made some new songs. Still nobody really cared that much. Maybe I’m just not that great at music. I can’t imagine my writing being any better or more enticing or impactful or whatever people need.

[@KarinCrona]

​@@MatthewAndrewDrake Sometimes we are just not creating the right thing as the right time, or we are not there yet. But your story is compelling and you have a voice. I wish you all the best and thanks for answering.

[@purplefly9091]

That's beautifully and well said i never heard anyone say that I'm gonna steal it thank you

[@teo5836]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Explain. I need a concise summary of what exactly you’re trying to convey here. Hurry up I don’t have all night. If you’re serious we can exchange a meeting. Dress business casual, and don’t waste my time.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@teo5836 👎🏿

[@mcardphoto1057]

These are precisely the kinds of personal projects I want to shoot. Absolutely incredible style, well made, and of course the content does all of the real heavy lifting. Love Matthew's story and just seen in the comments that you did another interview with him, surely watching that next. Really do aspire to be able to create pieces of work that document these kinds of stories to the same caliber as you one day Mark. Well done.

[@sweetestbees]

I have ADHD and opiates affect me the exact same way. I recognize so many of my own behaviors/mannerisms in him. What a beautiful precious soul 💜

[@TheHarryDunne]

What’s your thoughts on kratom? That stuff makes me feel ok with life/work, when normally I’m dragging just to get out of bed.

[@Penny_Royalty]

I love how he clarifies that blink 182 isn’t punk. I like this guy.

[@hicksdillon]

Lol I bet you he's probably been called a poser for liking blink which is why he said that

[@Valrax]

@@hicksdillon he literally said 10 seconds later he got called a poser a year later lol

[@dougtond1380]

Most things people refer to as "punk" or "punk rock" just aren't in the slightest. But, by the original "definition" of punk, Blink-182 was punk for sure. I can't speak on anything they're doing currently because I have no clue what they're up to, but being punk is just being original or unique or true to yourself. It isn't about spikes or leather or trend following or even trend setting. But I'm just a fool. Kids today would call me an oppressive gatekeeper for stating such things lol

[@mathewgrelr7084]

I loved blink 182 growing up

[@hicksdillon]

@@Valrax yeah which is why I mentioned it, but he never said he got called a poser for specifically liking blink

[@thefatebringer2046]

The way he talks about his dad not showing him any skills and expecting him to just know them describes anyone born from 1989 up.

[@janeseraeromero4276]

I can relate and I was born in 1982. I think it has more to do with children and their relationships with their parents, more so the father and the level of closeness and ability to relate/shared interests. Verbal abuse as well doesn’t get as much credit for wreckage as it should....My thoughts anyways.

[@frankie1012]

Facts. Millennials are completely ill equipped for life.

[@thesunbehindthesun1574]

Straight up. Exactly how my Dad was. He still is to this day. Born in 88'. My Dad is a quintessential boomer born in 57'.

[@djmystareez5961]

I taught my 4yr old how to solder new earth connections onto technics 1200’s. Teaching them young is the way.

[@melancholyandinfiniteradness]

Elder millennial here. Born in 82. I was really lucky to not have a dad, but my grandpa was my father figure. He taught me a lot about life, lots of skills, etc. A lot of people my age don’t know how to do a lot of these things, and I’m always 110% down to teach them. I realized not having my dad, but my papaw, was probably the best thing pretty early on. My bio dad is only good at drugs and drinking 😒

[@eshvartz]

He seems like such a sweet soul. Breaks the heart how drugs affect people's lives.

[@leeleentony]

He actually has a awesome and laid back personality. I like his style and how he talks about his past is good for someone who is in hard addiction cuz most of the time heroin addicts have a hard time holding basic communication. So many blessings to him and hopefully he can get sober one day soon....🙏❤💯✝️😔

[@rlhunter6200]

I know so many guys like this. Addiction doesn’t mean someone is a bad person. Sending him luck and well wishes.

[@sheila11227]

Absolutely and I agree

[@estipeacock5730]

Absolutely.

[@tommyphil4713]

Correct

[@Aaronlovesmusic970]

Oh yeah many people, technically we all our addicts in one way or another

[@rlhunter6200]

@vor 11 Monaten I only mean in the legal sense. I am in no position to make judgments of anyone but myself.

[@jakerobert3118]

I was a functioning daily heroin user for years. Married, two amazing kids, six figure salary job. No one had any idea. The wheels finally came off, went to detox, did 100+ days inpatient rehab and I’ve come pretty close to building my life back.

[@Gottislaps]

Congrats man

[@autumn7809]

Hey, that's so, so big. I'm proud of you even if I don't know you!

[@delboywowsers]

god bless

[@beautyboutiqueful]

Amazing achievement 😊I admire anyone that can beat their addictions no matter what their addicted too as it takes so much strength

[@haaniya3822]

That’s insane! Congrats

[@eyegasmses]

Really enjoyed watching this, what a cool guy! Thanks for sharing man!

[@Inxdica]

He's so incredibly inspiring its crazy

[@yvngtonyb]

I was never a functioning addict. Always felt as though I was affected by the withdrawals & cravings so much more than the ppl around me. Heroin is hell. 3+ years sober. Never thought I’d get here & it feels fantastic. Edit: 4 years came & went. The holiday season is always an emotional time for addicts I feel. I always do a lot of reflecting around this time. It’s really easy to fall into misery and depression, self pity, when I start thinking about all of the holidays I missed out on in active addiction. So I try instead to be grateful for the holidays I have been able to enjoy, without wondering if my dealer will be in town or if he’s going away, without my sole focus being on staying “well”. I can live in the moment now. I can enjoy my sons company, my families company, other peoples happiness, without that selfish voice sounding off in my head. And that’s enough for me. Count your blessings often, as cliché as it sounds, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. For those of us that already lost everything once, or twice, or more, we know what we’re fighting for, everything we stand to gain, and everything we have to lose.

[@FiftiesDad]

Congrats man keep it up

[@joelhernandez3584]

Good job 😃

[@browardcountyjiggas4880]

Stay safe gang

[@ikky_nikky5124]

Same I felt like I got sick a lot more severe compared to everyone else

[@bobbybarela2629]

I always felt like that too. None of my friends seemed to be as bad as I was

[@captaindingus2084]

this is the guy you see at the bar and when you ask "how's it going" he talks for 45 straight minutes without you saying another word

[@orber7057]

its a fucking interview, the interviewer isnt supposed to talk that much

[@captaindingus2084]

@@orber7057 lmfao relax chief its not that serious

[@sierrakleier5017]

I think personally people that talk your ear off with almost no prompting are lonely that just need to say some stuff to someone.

[@ChocolateYoshi]

@@orber7057 lol right not a fucking podcast

[@leahhrenee6421]

As someone who’s not a talker myself I love listening to people like that 😂

[@robertgardner8301]

I am clean for 12 years now and I was a junkie for another 12 years first and I can say that at no point was using herion or morphine a functional addiction for me. It was love at first feel and the only thing that got me clean was the fact that I was so good at my addiction that I was very close to dying from my continuing use of dope. Cold turkey, I locked myself in my bedroom for 8 day's and I went through the sickness. Marijuana was the only thing that helped at all and immodium a.d. and praying as well as reading.

[@vn8106]

Wow, did not expect the tears near the end. Cool dude. Loved the Requiem for a Dream reference. 🙏 blessings to all

[@cdawg-switchhitter2473]

I was a functional heroin addict for a solid 5 years. I was able to maintain a job, an apartment and my kid. It made me feel like the person I wanted to be. The problem with being a functional addict is that eventually it won’t be functional anymore. Once an ex girlfriend of mine started shooting up, so did I. I overdosed 2 times. I’m so lucky to be here. I started having flashbacks listening to him talk about his stories. I had those exact thoughts. It was either heroin or suicide. There was no way out. I used to plan my recovery to make myself feel better about the position I was in but I knew I wasn’t getting clean unless it was light out. I am now 6 years clean and I can’t tell you how glad I am to be alive.

[@MikahNeufeld]

So glad ur still here! Keep strong!

[@jennyblom6638]

Im so glad for you and your child⭐❤ Stay safe

[@emaniedwards1785]

Me too, im getting clean now. I was able to hold a job, nice car, alwyas had money. Never stole from anybody or did scummy shit to get dope. Only issue is it started getting harder and harder to function and hold a job. So I decided I need to get clean. I reached a level of misery I didn’t even know was possible. I’m now entering an new chapter of my life. I broke up with my partner recently, switched methadone clinics and I’m moving to Florida now to go live with my best friend and his girlfriend. Life does get better.. slowly but surely.

[@ericmoore2432]

Well said

[@wsz594]

Ive been a functional heroin addict for almost 15 years. I smoke it have never shot anything. Always had a good job been a model employee near perfect attendance I am a manager at my current job been there for 8 years only missed half a day in 8 years. Work super hard. Never steal and never robbed a friend, dealer, family member. Im super reliable, like boring reliable, like every dealer I know would front me any amount I ask for. I could get an oz fronted right now. Im not a shitty person, always pay my debts. Like this guy in the video my lungs are getting destroyed though. I need to get off to save my lungs.

[@OnCamWithCami]

He's functioning. He's surviving. That doesn't mean he's okay. It takes one time for it to be laced with too much fentanyl . So many people OD beyond return. Like he said. He wants to heal. You can tell. Here's to you man. You're gonna make it.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you

[@mikeblackwell3445]

He said that he smokes his heroin. You probably don’t know much about heroin or the different ways to use it (which is a really good thing) but people who od from heroin are the people who use a needle and shoot up. When you’re smoking heroin it’s pretty close to literally impossible for you to od, regardless of whether or not it’s laced with fentanyl. His story about the one time he od’d he was doing straight fentanyl and he was snorting it. But when it comes to smoking heroin, you’ll pretty much always nod off before being able to smoke enough to actually od.

[@salvadorreyes1337]

@@mikeblackwell3445 Thank you, I'm gonna test your theory tonight.

[@PutataHog64XD]

which is why drugs should be legal and reg'd

[@johnclinete6193]

Cut with fentanyl you can tell. I test batches for my dude fentanyl is clear. Also say it's cut with fentanyl you can tell.

[@ZERELA666]

I am a semi functional fentanyl addict. I held down full time job, housing and all my needs were met. But my quality of life suffered. I didn’t spend my money on anything nice for myself. I covered my needs, but that was it. I am currently 2 weeks clean and in a treatment facility now, to work on my mental health and and quality of life. I have definetely been on the other side though, being homeless, no money and doing as much dope as I could. Methadone has definetely helped me stabilize and be productive.

[@Legalize23It]

That’s great that the methadone is helping you maintain a better quality of life. Thankfully I’ve never been addicted to opiates/opioids but I have my own addictive tendencies that I have to manage. Take it a day at a time and keep up the good work!

[@ZERELA666]

@@Legalize23It Thanks brother. Knowing yourself is more than half the battle. It’s easier to prevent it from happening than recovering from it. I definetely haven’t always been productive. Years ago I was much worse off, homeless. Nothing to my name. Just chasing drugs. Not worth it man. I have so much advice and wisdom I wish I could share.

[@Legalize23It]

@@ZERELA666 I can’t even fathom that man. It doesn’t really get more rock bottom than that. What pushed you to recovery? And are you doing any type of 12 step program?

[@gus8696]

Hope you’re well

[@nephie1979]

Thank you for this story..he seems sincere...I want him to take whatever steps he needs to for him..he will be good and would love a follow-up.

[@saw6436]

This guy knows where he's been. He knows where he is. He just needs to find out where he's going.

[@mdsign001]

If he stays on heroin he'll go to prison or the cemetery. There are no old junkies. Edit: exceptions don't make the rule.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Nice

[@notheaveragejoe6403]

Saw. I relate to those words very much lol.

[@ThatNoFbody-ch9ky]

erwin meester Ik a dude whose 85 still on fentanyl

[@maciejlewandowski7311]

@@mdsign001 Reminder: eventually you'll end up on a cemetery too.

[@darthbane6021]

When he said “I’ve never been good enough for my dad” I fucking felt that down to my core. I completely understand that feeling as a son.

[@tylerandleahcanadian3888]

Bro fuck what your dad thinks You do you fuck it bro My dads no good Neither is my mom its whatever bro life goes on just be strong 💪 check out the youtuber buff dudes he will make ur life better.even if u dont workout

[@darthbane6021]

@M. Denz you do enough to comment

[@johnnymeringues987]

Thats gay

[@walterkersting6238]

I totally understand his father being pissed. Totally.

[@walterkersting6238]

You’ve never been good enough for your dad? Your dad was never good enough for you is more like it.

[@CloveHitchCory]

the shirt , background and glasses all go so perfect together

[@allisonmelotte5199]

My brother was a functioning addict and died October 2022. God bless you and keep you safe man

[@joshburns6625]

Sadly, all it takes is just one fuck up. R.I.P. to your brother. He's free.

[@VivaLaGlamXOXO]

He reminds me of a stoner in a parody horror movie that survives.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thanks that’s best comment so far. Ever seen Cabin In The Woods?

[@stary._.butterfly3368]

What a fuck up comment..not fair

[@hunterbrady4789]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake yeah definitely see Marty from cabin in the woods with this guy

[@-Smitty]

@@hunterbrady4789 that is that guy 😂

[@cosmicsatan7116]

Cabin in the Woods

[@willfrey8171]

He reminds me of my oldest brother. Highly intelligent, great at recalling stories, and deeply insecure. My brother, however, is not a functioning addict. He's just an addict. I miss him.

[@TheDoctornaut]

I have younger siblings. This struck me. Thanks.

[@Zak_Meents]

I felt this tweet. I lost my brother. Fentanyl overdose. Feb. 23 2018. RIP Max.

[@walterkersting6238]

I don’t miss my brother.

[@LowdownBoy]

@@walterkersting6238 Keep it to yourself.

[@ricebanda6213]

My alcoholic brother had a really nice older Acura and he crashed it twice; bought two more acuras, crashing thrice more. Coke man. He was in such a bad place. My sister and I had to pick him up from a motel when a transvestite stole his keys. That’s when he crashed for the final time. But he’s kinda better place now and taking sobriety months at a time. Hopefully your brother can get better too.

[@tp5401]

I like this guy. Man I wish for his happiness and that the old emotional damage gets repaired and life is a joyful experience for him without the drugs.

[@cutterholt3987]

Much love to this incredibly sweet dude. Reminds me of my friend who I lost to Oxytocin. Heart of gold, both of you.

[@cait2538]

Oxytocin...? Hmmm

[@wt460]

My son was functional, until he wasn’t. He died 9/6/21 from an overdose, and we are left trying to pick up the pieces. God Bless Matthew, I really hope he is able to get off that shit. Please don’t die, as it destroyed you and all those around you.. It is fu*ked up Matthew and getting off of it is critical for a positive life…

[@Rafungilo]

Shit made my eyes wet, I’ll try and stay clean for the parents out there

[@wt460]

@@Rafungilo Just do it for yourself as none of the rest of the outsiders matter. But please do it!

[@dev1040]

It’s so fucking hard, but I promise you can do it. Especially if you can find a loved one to care take for you for 2 weeks or so. It’ll be so much cheaper, they’ll have genuine love for you, and you won’t starve or lay in filth or have to lay and suffer thirsty for hours because of the pain. My big thing was food and water. I had such a hard time keeping stuff down and it made the pain worse and more intense. Hydration and sufficient meals are key. You need to replenish all b vitamins, d vitamin, and c vitamin for sure. I have chronic gastritis, GERD, and ibs so turmeric with breakfast WORKS WONDERS

[@Onelightoftheworld]

I got off of heroin because I wanted a better life and my poor parents deserved some peace. I didn’t want to die in my addiction. I overdosed a few times but luckily someone found me.

[@wt460]

@@Onelightoftheworld I am so happy for you!!! Thank God someone saved you when you overdosed. God Bless you and I wish you continued vigilance in your fight against addiction…

[@01kilik10]

There's a million people just like this out there you'll never hear about.

[@Heopful]

That's the thought I had. They, but especially, the interviewer kept being amazed at how this guy appears normal, has a job etc, that's because the only drug users the sheltered person knows are the screaming in public/scabs on face/tweaking like hell type. Fact is most people that use you wouldn't even know. The general public have probably met users and were amazed and wooed by their social fluency/energy/quick wit/etc and never realized that was due to crystal meth or coke or whatever. It's a loud minority. There's no way to put a number on it but i'd say 85% of users have no outwardly telling signs or behaviour and lead normal lives. The amount of people working in bars, especially people-facing roles(bartender etc) who use cocaine/meth/speed down here in Australia is astronomical. If you're reading this and you're a shy person who dreams of confidence and thinks this is the solution, know you are the highest risk group for dependence, just work on yourself it's possible.

[@aaborelli]

@@Heopful i was reading in interest, and then the ending applies in a way

[@smallgaragebigdreams1085]

If you count cocaine we’re talking billions

[@newp0rt]

ive used opiates daily for about 5 years now and nobody really on a personal level knows. none of my family, coworkers, or anything. just a very few small amount of close friends. without it i feel like shit. im lethargic. i basically cant function but as soon as i get a little buzz its like i chugged the worlds strongest coffee. ive tried quitting but always come back. theres many people like me but none of us are really open about it. well, functioning addicts that is.

[@iiNextify]

Or they're right under your nose. No one knew i was on heroine for 6 months

[@jacobniehaus]

I had to pause the video at about 7:05 and take a break. He’s explaining my Dad in vivid detail. My Dad was very much the controlling type when it came to doing things and having this “you need to know this thing, but I don’t want you to do it because you’ll screw it up” kind of mentality for so many things that I know it has a huge effect on my anxiety and self confidence.

[@TheHarryDunne]

I never heard anyone describe this before. My dad always did this. Made me stand there to “help”. Never allowed me to do anything. He also was way over the top when it came to us playing sports. Would give looks of extreme disappointment/anger in the stands if we made an error. I’ve definitely struggled with anxiety/low self esteem/depression starting around age 15. Alcoholism started around that time as well. Hope you’re doing well.

[@kronicassault1374]

This dude is hilarious. Love the dry accidental comedy. Great interview

[@kimberlyaguirre9859]

This guy is fucking rad. Praying he recovers from his addiction & continues to thrive.. he’s such a gentle, amazing soul. Stay safe Matthew!

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thanks Kimberly

[@lucydaly44]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake I'm rooting for you. I'm not a drug addict but I used to have issues with food, and I relate to alot of what you are saying. Take care Matthew.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@lucydaly44 thanks Lucy

[@tr3y167]

Hey everyone my name is Trey I'm 30 I have 2 years on heroin and still on it I work at the JFK airport making 18.50 a hour I love this drug why cuz it make me want to work more even my boss says ur a good working trey I look at him and say thanks but he didt no I was on drugs I get my drug in new Jersey where it's cheaper I pay 100 dollar for 50 bags every Friday I get 3oo dollars worth so that is 150 bags it last a hole week really it does I only do 2 bags at a time never three I also shoot it up way better not in my arms on my foot so please guys don't do this i lost family friends job cars apt and I just got my apt and my car back it took time but yea the sickest is really bad like really bad I bin there but please bro don't do it this is my story stay sober

[@thecurse1945]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Good luck man. I'm rooting for you. I'm currently on Suboxone. It helped me a lot, might be an option.

[@JulianCesarTheGoat]

"Does it affect work?" "No, they have no idea" Update: 3 million views later lol

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Nobody has said anything yet 🤷‍♂️

[@jameshughes8189]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake did you make it back to the clinic?

[@Dragon22078]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake have you experienced your addiction progression come to a standpoint, overall?

[@deckerd6832]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake please I encourage you to go back to the clinic... often to get clean and not carry an opioid tolerance makes you more susceptible to death from using during initial relapse period. it takes dedication to stay clean pass frequent drug tests and drive to the clinic but after a year, only having to go once a month I find very manageable and it works well for me... idk if I'll ever get off methadone completely but medicaid pays for mine so its govt subsidized free harm reduction that works.

[@ashleygentle6501]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake My advice. Find someone you can fall in love with and start a family. I'm not telling you what to do, it just helped make me the man I am today. For me it makes a big difference when someone calls you dad.

[@missjustpeachygirl]

Hearing the pain in his voice when he talked about overdosing was heartbreaking.

[@DOOBERtv]

seems like a good guy, i hope he gets his life together.

[@nudesoftheworld]

This guy landed it lucky with the backdrop. The shirt, the shades, the boots - screams 1986. Bloody love it. So switched on. I hope he gets clean.

[@yosefshekelberg5433]

1986? This shit looks closer to 1976.

[@darylallen2485]

@@yosefshekelberg5433 i was gonna say the same thing

[@joyamongstforeverspark5422]

Cute curly hair...glasses match...how old is he? Mentions the 80's..hmm

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@joyamongstforeverspark5422 I’m 35

[@basbleupeaunoire]

Noooo. This looks like 70s.

[@bloodstain1000]

Watching this guy say everything he ever wanted to say, to someone that didn't judge and listened was really nice, i wish him nothing but good luck in his life.

[@Themidnightegardener]

if Mark wasn't making money on tis, he wouldn't be doing it- that why there's "no judgement"

[@Edith.G.G.]

@@Themidnightegardener right

[@nyrbsamoht]

its funny listening to this dude - he is so good at blaming everything else around him - he does not need encouragement or questions - just wind him up and away he goes! i would have a quiet chuckle too if a 33year old man couldn't recognize what a drill was lol.

[@ActionJackson669]

@@Themidnightegardener Well when you put it like that 😅😅😅 its facts, but God DAMN 😭😭😭

[@masonsobel366]

His whole story is one fatass pity party lmao

[@weasespieces1029]

Growing up as a 20th century nomad....moved everywhere... Always the new poor kid I've met 20 versions of every video I've seen of yours....

[@AP-ls2fr]

When he was describing the beginning of the video about his childhood. How he never felt good enough for his parents and how he felt like an outcast when he moved to Castro Valley because he didn’t come from a family with money…it really hit hard because that’s exactly how I grew up. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life. I have never tried heroin. But i understand where someone like me would. I really hope this guy is doing OK ❤

[@Mor_Mill]

Did you grow up in Castro valley? As someone who grew up in the area and has lived in the East Bay (not San Francisco. The East Bay is not near SF) Castro valley is not that posh and Hayward is not that ghetto. There is an area that is pretty sketch but for the most part Hayward is extremely safe. Both areas are extremely diverse also. Actually the majority of people that live in both areas (because they're right next to each other) are white. I grew up in the Hayward hills and I'm only 10 years older than this guy. So I don't know what he's talking about. They're working class areas. That's it. Middle income working-class areas.

[@elizabethrhodes9909]

All of these subjects who start out with "I had a good, normal childhood" always progress into stories of their parents and you realize that the parents were trash and their childhood was in fact, not normal or good.

[@Whydoweneedhandlesagain]

Not for nothing but he did have a pretty normal childhood. Nobody’s parents are perfect. We can’t just ignore the fact that he’s admittedly a drug addict. Not everyone turns to drugs because their parents drink and yell at them. We all have choices to make. We need to stop trying to find ways to justifying doing drugs. Sounds like he never had any drive to overcome his problems. My childhood wasn’t perfect but I still know right from wrong. There are exceptions obviously but it’s not like the guy isn’t educated. He’s pretty damn intelligent .

[@boundarysentinel4181]

His parents seem completely normal to me? Most addicts I work with never had parents (reality and figuratively).

[@OfficialSnyd]

@@Whydoweneedhandlesagain Have you ever been addicted to anything?

[@GlennDavey]

That's how I'd begin my story too. But then you start filling in details...

[@jrowland6717]

@@Whydoweneedhandlesagain you have no idea how drugs affect your brain and it shows

[@sabrenacochran777]

I was a functioning heroin/fentanyl addict for years. Two jobs, in college, even on the deans list. Then the drought hit. I had no idea what pain meant until then. I went three days without and truly felt like I was dying from the inside out. My “friend” said the only thing that would help was shooting some meth and at that point I would have done anything to stop the pain so I did and it helped. After that my addiction spun out of control. I ended up in jail last year which forced me to be fully sober for the first time since I started using so many years ago. I thank God everyday for that. Saved my life. I’ve been sober since October 2020 and I’ve never felt better! You can do it! Find good people to surround yourself with and keep yourself distracted!

[@ER-me1ii]

Good on you. Keep it green. Odaat 5/23/96.

[@vtkaba08]

Ur a beautiful person. Keep it up homie

[@xancypillosi9497]

Amen

[@chemstock6290]

Jo in

[@tylerbergen7246]

Shooting meth to help while being dope sick always helps lol...

[@LordBonesaw]

Absolutely lovely guy, Spoke to him a few times on instagram/ here etc and always has the time to reply… Top bloke

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thanks ALF!

[@LordBonesaw]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Finally someone who knows who alf is… People would always be like what’s up with ur pic what is it lol

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@LordBonesaw love ALF! 💕

[@nathansyupp1137]

I can’t emotionally handle how much him and the backdrop bring the late 70’s-80’s to 2020’s…

[@jennaparker672]

Breaks my heart how he still blames himself for his childhood. Man, if you're reading this- that isn't your burden to carry. You were a kid who felt unsafe and that wasn't "your fault" that the cops came. You did the right thing for your protection and following your instincts, even though it feels so complicated with family. Never apologize for feeling unsafe, you do deserve better. I can tell he loved his parents. Dude has a great heart.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thanks man. Some people on these comments are comparing it to getting Beat as a child and saying I didn’t have it as bad or that I’m just a privileged white person. This world is so fucked up these days

[@jennaparker672]

Those people will go along with any dominant opinion, no matter what it is or how out of touch it might be. It is fucked up. There is power in numbers. If only those people realized the influence that they could have, instead of letting their fear of being an outsider in their opinion rule them. Their perception sucks. Not worthy of taking you down with it. There is good out there though. I think everyone needs healing

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@jennaparker672 it’s the dominant opinion in the world but not on this channel fortunately

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@Either Or thank you I’m doing well

[@taran8546]

This is true. Dad driving drunk and angry was a form of violence. Hitting walls is a form of abuse.

[@OxsanaAriadneValentina]

"I liked basketball but wasn't good enough to get on the team". ... Why did my heart instantly melt for his inner child. 😫

[@HelenOzark]

J. Cole vibes from "The Warm Up"

[@aknightbauer1821]

Mine did too💔

[@dat710]

Shut up lmai

[@stevegallant3395]

You probably want to give everyone participation trophies

[@nikkiismithh]

@@HelenOzark 0pp[]0p0⁰⁰00]00pp00000⁰00p0000000ⁿ0⁹0000⁰0000⁹

[@fredrickmiller6534]

He thinks nobody notices his drug use, but from experience, I can all but promise everyone knows. He's not even close to getting clean. He still thinks he's getting away with it.

[@terrycrews1760]

It’s weird how Mark is so desensitized himself from hearing all these traumatic and horrific stories that when he said he had a knife pulled on him at the age of 9 shortly thereafter Mark says “so basically you had a normal childhood”

[@virtualvegan7376]

Dude gets a knife pulled on him when he's 9 years old... Interviewer: "sound like a normal childhood"

[@gissel7216]

...I thought I was the only one that caught that🥴

[@mostacciolienthusiast8638]

Yeah, the interviewer was totally off there. Not only with the knife thing. Matthew was trying to gloss over it and make it not seem like a big deal, but from what he said it seems like he was made to be an outcast throughout all of his school years and dealt with a good amount of bullying. That's not "normal".

[@jeffpraterJSF]

Normal where I’m from

[@johntorres532]

Shit I got a gun pulled over my skateboard in middle school lol but my place wasnt ghetto

[@jeffpraterJSF]

@@johntorres532 see, even in places not that ghetto, if you spend all your time outside as a kid these things happen

[@clarissaratliff3622]

“ I didn’t really want to die , I was just giving up “ I wonder how many people feel like this . Cool dude

[@intelstruggle8203]

That's how most people feel before the "I want to die" stage.

[@albertmeza664]

I believe disappointing loved ones has alot to do with feeling that way, as I parent I really believe in showing my kids that self love and becoming their own person without being influenced by other people including myself is essential In their happiness and success. I'm here to guide them on the right path and give them guidance. Pay attention to the people around you, comments like that can be a cry for help

[@Ashes2Ashes_Blush2Blush]

A lot of us struggle with this unfortunately

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you I think

[@clarissaratliff3622]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake you are welcome .

[@SueOwen33]

Another incredible interview.

[@kirstieprince301]

One of the best feeling in the world whilst in active addiction and knowing when you wake up you have dope to do. God I don’t miss that life.

[@The_Erik_Saga]

My best friend was a lot like this guy. Died from an overdose. Casual heroine use makes you have a lesser tolerance. One strong dose and this guy will die. RIP John. I miss you so much.

[@allieemm3961]

RIP John 🙏 may you never suffer than demon in any other life you live.

[@cetaceans4progress375]

I’m sorry for your loss

[@shelbycurtis4332]

I’m so sorry, I also lost my brother this way last year. I miss him so much too

[@Valrax]

someone was explaining to me that basically you get use to the high but the effects on your central nervous system etc still are there and you can't get use to those, eventually no matter what at some point you will overdose even if you are use to it when you keep bumping your doses, your body can only handle so much stuff. Rest In Peace

[@DJWhylafihya]

I lost all my best friends to overdoses and I’m an ex heroin meth user myself.,, I’m sorry that happened man. If I ever mess up I try to be careful and immediately reach out for help

[@frisk3538]

The way he describes how heroin first felt is exactly how I describe the high when I started doing molly. That feeling of “this is exactly what I was looking for, what I needed, and I had no idea it even existed.” I will never ever try heroin because I know I will love it.

[@psychotropictraveler514]

Thats a wise choice, I sure as hell wish I never would have tried it. You're also right about the "its too good" thing

[@thebookof_jay]

@@RickyM247 I hope you're trolling. Not every experience is the same for every one, for you it wasn't something you felt the need to come back to. For others it immediately becomes something they NEED use. I'm not trying to be rude, but your comment is rather ignorant.

[@kirstylynne2871]

@@RickyM247 not everyone gets addicted until they finally try something that theyve been looking for, i never got addicted to molly and coke but i got addicted to pain killers and nicotine, everyone is different x

[@whyneons5021]

@@RickyM247 delete your garbage comments

[@personwhoexists8684]

heroin is literally nothing like MDMA, well hopefully MDMA hopefully youre not getting meth in your tablets or some research chemical and someones selling them to you as MDMA.. but honestly actually getting real ecstasy tablets is pretty fucking rare especially from the street but yeah dont try heroin (i say this as i inhale smoke, literally right fuckin now as i watch this, directly into my lungs……so im kinda a hypocrite?) but for real dont try it youll want to kill yourself by the time withdrawals b hittin anywya though heroin is a PAIN KILLER mdma is has structural similarities to AMPHETAMINE and METHAMPHETAMINE, which are classic STIMULANTS. the two are literally nothing like each other

[@mezmariahz109]

He’s very charismatic and a natural story teller.

[@masongiles8443]

Thank you for sharing!

[@majorwoody666]

Hearing him choke up about his overdose experience that led to him getting clean, only to start using a week later... that really hit home for me.

[@meganmay6543]

i know right.

[@meganmay6543]

@Dude its worse when you realize nobody actually cares if you live or die. That's why I had this fucking huge breakdown when I had my kid. For the first time in my life I had someone/something that I had to answer to, that needed and loved me. IT was fucking terrifying. The only thing almost as terrifying was the day I realized I had no one. Kind of ironic the only thing more terrifying than that was realizing that I had someone. LOL

[@ashleyhumbyrd7274]

I’ve seen people OD, get hit with narcan to bring them back to life, and pick up again in less than 20 minutes

[@HeadNtheClouds]

I hope you have home owners insurance 😂🤣😅

[@isnowyazn]

@@ashleyhumbyrd7274 It's also specifically from the PAWS that naloxone throws you into. It's like the worst form of instant withdrawals the reversal drug can throw you into. You're the sickest you can possibly be, and almost nothing but time can get you better. You can go fix up, but it's near useless unless you do a stupidly ridiculous amount, which might cause you to OD once the Narcan wears off in like another hour or so.

[@drewwilliams1337]

Man I used to be this guy. "It makes me feel normal, makes me happy, makes me energetic, it doesn't affect me negatively," and then he started tearing up when he talked about his OD. Ten years sober this past September. I truly wish you the best of luck, Matthew. I hope you get clean some day, for yourself and no one else.

[@F34RFinest]

Loved this interview, fucking great storytelling. Praying on your success’s my man

[@madfisch473]

this interview was totally chill and great, but damn when Matt said he had never smoked weed that explained so many moments from other videos

[@seancunn4089]

I worked with a guy like this he was productive at work and he confided in me on one occasionabout his addiction. I never would have guessed he had zero signs. A year later our boss called us all in one morning for a speech which he did periodically through the year but this time I got a different vibe right away the boss announced this guy passed away in his "sleep". RIP M

[@niawhittley5681]

Damn...

[@therealkoolaidandkale]

You never know what people are going through. RIP to him. 😔🙏🏾

[@babyzizi1]

Aaa that’s so damn sad

[@Zero8880]

He looks like a character that Ryan Gosling was playing for a movie.

[@sylviaeverett-gough8274]

lars and the real girl

[@martinrestrepo1038]

He plays a crack addicted teacher in half Nelson

[@rockboyznative]

Or Jonah Hill

[@youwantshum9860]

Looks like a fear and loathing character

[@Hotmaildotcomz]

It actually is Ryan

[@alcoholidaysUK]

What I found with my own heroin addiction and the addictions of the people around me who I saw start and progress, is that everyone is in control of their addiction until they aren’t anymore. There is generally a point where the levee breaks; cost becomes unattainable, health is compromised, work becomes unmanageable, and once it gets ahead of you the only way to get back out from under is beginning the journey of recovery (I personally did ten months of methadone - this was undertaken quickly due to my child being born - and then a gradually decreasing subutex tablet daily dose ever since. I have previously got to zero and stopped, but restarted as it felt something was missing and it’s better to be in treatment on something gentle and managed than risk fallout again). I remember when I first did heroin many years ago the addict I’d bought it from, who I had been friends with for many years, said “don’t do it, you avoided it for a decade, why try it now? IT WILL GET YOU, eventually. You might go for years thinking you’re smarter than it, but eventually it’ll get you and you’ll lose control”. And the old boy was 100% right - I thought I was smart and ahead of the curve and not a “dumb junkie.” And wasn’t I humbled..

[@trippel_d]

What I like most about these videos is knowing I'm not alone in the struggles

[@nycsp]

He has a big sadness underneath all that. He's very eloquent, he can do so much better. Please fight, believe in yourself. Please

[@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes]

Bad time to believe in yourself, all hope is lost in America at this point, u less you want to be broke you’re entire life and/or rely on the government. But the upper middle class is destroyed and won’t be coming back anytime soon

[@JamesThomas-xv4tf]

@@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes Why are you specifying the upper middle class? Fuck the upper middle class. The working and lower middle class is what’s needed

[@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes]

@@JamesThomas-xv4tf well obviously it’s because I’m a part of the upper middle class, and while I don’t like saying “fuck the middle and lower class”, it’s pretty good damn frustrating when I see over $10,000 a month being stolen from me in taxes. Expand your horizons buddy, it’s very clear you are uneducated and broke. Strive to be better dude, you don’t need to be poor you’re entire life, but with your attitude, trust me, you will be.

[@brittanylcarter]

@@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes Amen! I agree ☝️

[@written12]

Very well said. And heartfelt. I Wish this man well, too. He’s got more going on than he’s allowing himself to exploit

[@iraiagalohisdi3864]

The woman I wanted to marry was a highly functional heroin addict. She was such an incredible human, always taking care of everyone else, no matter what. She died of an overdose 2 1/2 years ago. Growing up near Philly, I lost a lot of people to heroin and pills. It's a shame. I'm fortunate I kept myself clean.

[@user-mr4pm7jv5e]

I do oxy pills 🥲 lately my doses have skyrocketed. At what point is considered deadly?? Apparently my mother said I slur my speech on them now. It must break her heart but I’m in a huge addiction and can’t stop.

[@FallenAngel9979]

So sorry to hear of your many losses, especially your love. I know she will be looking down proud as punch at you.🙏🙏

[@YelenaBlanka]

Yesssss Philly…Kensington to be exact has been CRAZZYYY!! 😩🥺🥺🥺. it looks like a zombie apocalypse out there. I wish I could help many addicts that want to be helped, not all are bad people man. Some are shitty people because there are shitty people out there regardless of drugs or not but yeah man, god bless everyone 🙏🏼💕

[@fifi_fluttersASMR]

Wow just like my story but with a guy. He has od’d but he got lucky those times

[@AaronAlert77]

So sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences. Sending love and prayers ❤️God bless

[@SimplyCheryl]

That’s how I felt on opiates as well, that feeling is addiction. I felt like I was me finally, but as time goes on, you need more for that feeling. I’m luckily clean now, but it takes hard work. I hope you find recovery one day.

[@raymondchapman5990]

I snorted an oxycontin pill in 2002 and it was the ultimate feeling. I'd never done anything with drugs prior to that. It give me energy and I fell great ! I become addicted to it for 5 yrs. and have been off it for 12 yrs. I don't even think about it and I do not miss it. It was the most horrible time of my life

[@babyzizi1]

So glad you got out. God Bless you

[@meredithjulianmahaney1635]

It’s a hellish experience trying to deal with opioid addiction. I’m happy for you that you found your way out of that life.

[@JitinMisra]

How old were you when you started ?

[@poksi360]

These interviews are way more interesting than late shows.

[@angieherrera1850]

True. Late shows are so predictable and hypocritical.

[@tyliaclarke3624]

Yes!... with like endless episodes, and no commercials if you have KZbin red ! I love it

[@jasminepetal3972]

Late shows have never really been interesting though...

[@rknrlgrl6146]

I sincerely hope this young man gets clean. Such a likable guy and seems like a really nice guy :)

[@angelamorales5816]

My ex-boyfriend is a functional addict as well. He is a teacher. He never tried to get clean because he always said that as long as he was functional, everything was OK... it really wasn't. It recently started to catch up on him, and that's when I left him. I really hope he can make it out... he does seem like a sweet, down-to-earth guy. He deserves better.

[@vgspotting5331]

Sure leaving him is gonna help him

[@carlosfunes9397]

@@vgspotting5331he needs a hug

[@daleestep9518]

Left him when things got rough sounds just like a modern American woman

[@ancocephala2447]

@@vgspotting5331you can only help people, especially addicts, as much as they let you. Ultimately it is their battle to fight and loved ones of addicts shouldn’t blame themselves for leaving unhealthy situations.

[@marcbaigrie2295]

This guy is exactly why no one should be judged. Nice guy, a product of the society he was raised in.

[@lupression4457]

Indeed brother

[@dirtybowl2338]

Product of his decisions. Everyone should be judged on how they choose to live.

[@reneemclane1845]

No one should be judged period.

[@dirtybowl2338]

@@reneemclane1845 that’s not reality, you judge people. If you want to say other wise you would be a lier as well.

[@unsavablesoul7275]

@@dirtybowl2338 his own decisions have something to do with it but a lot of it has to do with where and how he grew up