A man wrote a 16 year old girl getting a boob job and that's just the least of my problems here

[@ciara947]

"she joins a school for assassins" is such a Wattpad premise I can't-

[@hsmacaraig]

Ciara ikrrr aaaaaa

[@rachelsyrup]

Lol there's actually a series of books called Gallagher Girls, where they go to a spy school. It is, from what I remember, a MUCH BETTER read. I mean, its written by a woman, so we're already a step ahead of this mess.

[@catcactus1234]

It’s such an overused premise that it’s practically a cliche at this point. Several published books do the same thing. Of course there’s nothing wrong with that, but people have a hard time executing the plot well because they dwell too much on the edginess factor.

[@victorialira3178]

The sex scene also sort of screamed bad fanfiction to me too. A recurring trope on FF is "threw her gently on the bed" reminded me of the gentle assault here too LOL

[@mibukdesjarlais534]

Reminds me of this anime called Assassination Classroom. 😂😂😂

[@atree9284]

“You’re not just like other girls, you’re also not like other heroes, because you’re a girl with a knife, and your bangs aren’t cut straight.” Is what i want on my grave

[@withcindy]

she prob cuts her bangs with a knife. she be quirky like that

[@MuigetsuKirin]

@@withcindy *Mulan has left the chat*

[@AikiraBeats]

Same here

[@hsmacaraig]

Same here

[@Deoxys911]

Why not just carve it into your bark?

[@nogaadar3622]

I can’t comprehend how he wrote that monologue with her smoking a cigar and thought that he nailed teenage girls

[@withcindy]

LMAOOOO idk what ur talking about i regularly go into pseudo-feminist monologues when i'm 16 while smoking a cigar

[@SergioLeonardoCornejo]

That is probably one of the worst issues of that book. He's writing a 16 year old as if she was... Well... A 40 year old guy in the body of a 16 year old girl... He failed to even consider the character. I actually like age gap ships, I don't care about the age of the writer (after all most teenage romances are written by men and women past the age of 40) but the fact that the author wrote the girl as if she was a self insert just damaged the character. Also... Yeah. Despite my aforementioned views, I do find it weird, not necessarily bad, but certainly weird that most teenage romances, with particularly unhealthy relationships and love expectations by the way, are written by men and women past the age of 40. John Green is an example. This middle aged guy is basically telling teenagers how love relationships are supposed to be, and not a single example is even functional. It's like that drunken uncle who gives unsolicited relationship advice to everyone in the family, including the dog and his very own wife. "So he's always drinking and pestering people? Cheat on him!" Little did he realize it was his wife complaining about his habits.

[@lunammoon8503]

Idk about the cigar, but I can picture myself going on that kind of rant as a 16-year-old. Then again, I would've been tired, and also joking.

[@mirandajones7816]

Sergio Leonardo Cornejo Hey! I’m genuinely curious about John Green since I haven’t read how books in years so i don’t remember his portrayal of relationships. Which relationships are you talking about?

[@mariebaillet9800]

@@lunammoon8503 i mean depends. Is the cigar for the aestethic ? Anything for the aestethic.

[@keira519]

I’m not like other girls…I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

[@OddxIkabod]

I'm very sorry to hear that very unique MC 😔, would you like some chocolate to make you feel better 🍫

[@klas-6]

​@@OddxIkabodChocolate? I'm sorry - did you say Chocolate?? Chocolate?!! CHOCOLATEE!!! CHOCOLATEEEE!!!!

[@TOTALLY.LESBIAN.SQUIRREL]

Hehe. I see what you did there...

[@user-ooop]

I'm to stupid to get this 😅 Nice writing

[@klas-6]

@@user-ooop it's a SpongeBob ref lol

[@liv.s.]

*This entire book is literally r/menwritingwomen*

[@withcindy]

yes it is

[@liangcruz6543]

like the legendary passage - she titted boobily down the stairs

[@muntu1221]

@@liangcruz6543 "She breasted boobily as she titted down the stairs." Greatest line in literature.

[@eden.gt2368]

@@muntu1221 I'm cackling WHAT IS THIS FROM I NEED TO KNOW

[@a2-2b-9s]

@@muntu1221 Lmaoooo I saw this in a tumblr post, still greatest line of all time

[@alaynestone6438]

Iron or glass? I am neither. I am sand: coarse and rough and irritating.

[@RF-mc8cx]

SAME

[@withcindy]

my vag is sandpaper

[@remnantsofkigol98]

Same, i hate sand.

[@ME-qf8dk]

OooFff, I think I'm falling for you, Ani Oinkingseawalker.

[@lunarhaze105]

And it gets everywhere

[@AeriSoondingie]

Today on "I can't believe is not Wattpad":

[@lpsshiba8308]

YES.

[@bethbaxter2922]

Yes 👍

[@as-wi4yz]

I love your profile pic :)

[@aw-mr5qn]

AHAHAHAH

[@nawr494]

I write on Wattpad 😭😂 but yeah this book had no business published, how did this happen 💀

[@abyssalnightmare551]

I *AM* a sixteen year-old girl and I feel like I should be in jail for hearing that

[@123biler]

Nope, Cindy should be in jail for you hearing that 😏

[@vronji]

@@123biler To be fair Cindy described the entire thing in the title so you get what you get

[@missilluminati3389]

Same sis, I feel like I need to pour holy water into my ears

[@KittyTrackz]

I’ve got bleach

[@Mel-mq7il]

Same I feel like washing my brain with sulfuric acid

[@karavoltron3143]

Mia: my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way

[@damatically]

Dont compare Mia to the real edge Queen you might awaken the evil from the grave

[@chrispycreme69]

Oh my god I hate that I understood that djsnsjsj

[@Jogjosmowwdkfs]

I hate I remember this

[@withcindy]

mia walked so ebony could run

[@karavoltron3143]

readwithcindy facts

[@vanman7169]

This book: Looks aren’t important, but Mia needs plastic surgery to unlock her full potential :/

[@mariebaillet9800]

Is this the right place to say that I would really like to see a boy femme fatale ? Like, the suprême Himbo. You can't resist his jawline and his really tight shirts and chiseled abs. Not in a "he is a mle protag so he is hot" But in a "oh, yeah, that's Chad. Fights sirtless so you Are too distracted by his 12 pack to see He has a gun to your forehead."

[@jennali9800]

@@kidawesomeness123 I hate that book

[@justinyoung8212]

@Brijae B nope

[@AikiraBeats]

Right like this just got me

[@Casein_nitrat3]

Marie Baillet ooo your comment reminds me of that big burly character from fullmetal alchemist ( something armstrong, I can't remember names for the life of me) if you've seen the show then you probably know what I'm talking about lol

[@Parrot5884]

Whyyyyyyyyy did he compare beauty to suicide? No sir, that is _not_ the vibe.

[@madelainerowley8854]

my depressed ass; no ma’am that is the *only* vibe

[@musicalnerds101]

TEAAAA

[@withcindy]

i dont like the vibes here

[@mariebaillet9800]

@@madelainerowley8854 do you Want a hug, fam ?

[@oliviaocasain9980]

Haven't you heard? Devastating illnesses are sexy now 😐

[@pom.bo.]

is it weird that i got offended by the “beautiful like a fresh suicide” line??? like i was listening and laughing because of the weird ass writing and then that came up and i actually gasped. why do people romanticize suicide?? i struggle with suicidal thoughts/ideations and thats really shitty

[@peccantis]

Not weird at all, that line is shitty. My dude has obviously never even talked to anyone who has been subjected to such a sight. Even scenes of peaceful deaths from old age in one's sleep aren't beautiful, considering the things a human body is liable to do once it's no longer alive. And to imply that there is anything romantic or aesthetic in the sort of desperation and suffering that leads a person to end their life--that's not only disgustingly irresponsible, but shallow and shortsighted. The author doesn't even have the excuse of writing this line from the perspective of a profoundly disturbed character.

[@epipsychidionozymandias5021]

Not to mention the suffering of people who have to face a loved one's suicide. It's horrible and it tears you apart, and I'm despising this book with all my strenght.

[@JRyan-lu5im]

In fact nothing is uglier than suicide nor more horrific than a "fresh" one. I get the point is that it's supposed to be "the MC's mindset", and that she's 16 and engrossed with death mysticism, but someone who thinks that something so dirty is beautiful, then the author should have owned that and made her more of a psychotic serial killer.

[@Alexfolledemoi]

Offended too! I tried to kill myself as a teen, and that's just... Wrong.. Such a wrong way to describe someone 's appearance 🤢

[@megadiancie751]

Beautiful like a dead body is really just an insult.

[@triceratops5743]

cindy: she's not like other girls me: *deep sigh*

[@withcindy]

here we go again

[@jacklegend5798]

I love what Jenna Moreci had to say on the subject: "How is she not like other girls; does she have a tail?"

[@superswagmimi4237]

Jack Legend when she’s your irl neko anime waifu 😍😘😚😝😋😜💖😚💞😚💗😘😍😝💞☺️💗😘💗😚💗😚💞😋😚💞😌☺️😳😍😝💖😔😳😄😳😚💖😍😚😳💖💗💞

[@hsmacaraig]

*n o o o o o o o*

[@billuraral1870]

@@withcindy mamma mia

[@bonegrifter4212]

the author rly said: the instructor is a pedo but it’s ok because she’s pretty ✨

[@reynhacoezy5510]

I-

[@ortezac.5339]

*laughs in hidden* *laughs in Death In Venice* First time?

[@theimplications635]

Wow looks like you just statement ended this man's whole career

[@happyjellycatsquid]

Gotta love how men will write a whole protagonist with the intention of being a « yass badass girlboss » who beats everyone yet see women as holding so little power overall it seems impossible to them they could be the abuser in that sort of male dominated forme of abuse. Real woke of them

[@roelin360]

And then men will use that as an example of how society doesn't care if women are abusers, even though they created it

[@maxvo1675]

that description of her sounds like male poets who say "violets are growing in the shadows under your eyes" about girls who are in toxic relationships with them

[@withcindy]

NOOOOOO I HATE THAT THIS IS TRUE

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

DID YOU LIE THO 😭😭😭

[@nomdeplume1358]

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭I CAN'T 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭

[@trisarahtops6167]

But they’re not violets, they’re skin, and they’ll always be skin :3 (I’ve heard the poem)

[@marquisealexander1371]

The apple of your eye grows admits a sea of lavender and morning glory Where once before; upon the hills, only roses did bloom Desperate pleas lie deaf upon ears of the holy As the silence blares your resounding doom Like this if you cry every time 😭

[@redthunderbird7332]

This author is like "this character is beautiful but NOT conventionally attractive" and then goes onto list conventionally attractive features that they have like being thin and pale

[@barryallen2240]

They have hair, not like other girls.

[@atanvardecunambiel8917]

With how many times Mia was described as thin and pale, I couldn’t help but imagine her as a skeleton.

[@animeotaku307]

@@atanvardecunambiel8917That would have actually been interesting.

[@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083]

And then getting surgery to become more beautiful.

[@apho-sappho]

@@atanvardecunambiel8917 I'm not like other girls, I'm a literal skeleton

[@rhysalex7714]

Top assassin advice: Live, laugh, love.

[@marmeykakile749]

It should be kill, laugh, love 👁👄👁 missed opportunity

[@starrynight5207]

karens coming out

[@stbananastein]

I noticed that, too! I was waiting for the 'live' to slip in there, and the author did not disappoint.

[@5isacolor213]

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

[@NK-nkno]

Repeat after me: Strong female character doesn't mean goth, ''feminist'', teenagers that punch stuff and talks in Tumblr.

[@lizipearlvlogs]

Right! I'd argue that Barbie, Disney princesses, and 21st Century Fox princesses are empowering and stereotypically girly.

[@jpsings4229]

Lizi Pearl Some yeah, others not so much.

[@stormyuwu1287]

@@lizipearlvlogs Barbie succ, Disney great doe.

[@francisdeles4276]

@@stormyuwu1287 princess and the pauper, fairytopia, mariposa, three musketeers, etc. Shouldn't be disrespected like this lol

[@allyli1718]

Stormy uwu don’t spit on Barbie when Disney does generic “girl boss” feminism. We love and respect Barbie’s fun, girly, and active protagonists who don’t need to be a girl boss to be strong characters. Well, as strong as Barbie movies can be.

[@justalittleguy1000]

The wierdest thing is there's literally no reason to make her 16. Like why. Just make a a twenty something who hasn't had sex because she's busy being a badass and life was hard or whatever, and the story is pretty much the exact same except waaay less uncomfortable...

[@sakurazukamorisubaru]

She could've been 11, because in some countries children can't go to prison or they have a less severe punishment. Also, kids are passionate and ruthless, and tend to admire people who seem "cool"\ are easily manipulated. Therefore if they grow up surrounded by criminals, they'd probably gladly do all kinds of work for them.

[@valeriarossini543]

@@sakurazukamorisubaru Mia being 11 would actually be worse. Unless you're saying to throw away all the sex scenes, in which case yeah I agree that would have been an interesting read

[@sakurazukamorisubaru]

@@valeriarossini543 no, that was my point, that it could be worse.

[@kuddlecat]

Valeria Rossini I think she means that her line of thought by being 11 (I think even at 16 it can be applied cuz when we are at that age we tend to explore our sexuality) is more conditioned to do these things. It’s wrong but adds up more to the uncomfortable factor if that was the purpose of the author, which sadly and clearly it isn’t the case here

[@robertblume2951]

She would be to old to go to assassin's Hogwarts then.

[@CoRLex-jh5vx]

Assassin School: being ugly....is a 💖💗💞💓 blessing 💕💖💗💞.....you can go 💛 unnoticed 💛.... Also Assassin School: biG TiDdY LidDy

[@Alexfolledemoi]

The way i screamed 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@luciacuevas611]

“Power” yes, because being stared at by men totally makes women feel more powerful, totally doesn’t make them feel like a piece of meat.

[@withcindy]

every time i get catcalled i gain +10 power

[@victoriaspooks1383]

ah yes, being sexually harassed by men everywhere I go always ups my power by 110% ✨

[@beardbeardedbeardsbeardedh9374]

@@victoriaspooks1383 I mean, it sure does make me want to stab a dude so I guess that counts

[@foxcheetah6035]

I mean, like, if you're voluntarily going out looking like a bombshell and people start staring at you, or if you're a stripper and on the pole and the men are hooting and hollering but you just walk up to them like "bitch, this pussy ain't free," would that make a woman feel... powerful? Actually though, would it? I'm not exactly a woman (trans male), so I wouldn't really know, so I'm curious. Do the girls walking down the street with nothing but swagger feel powerful when a guy tries and fails to hold a normal conversation, or do they feel harassed?

[@JudgeNicodemus]

Of course it gives women power! They get plus 7 on any dice roll to an attack against the offending creature!

[@kkelseym]

The problems start with it being an “adult fantasy” book with a main character that is 16 years old...

[@withcindy]

i think adult books can still feature main characters that are teenagers! i've liked a couple that are technically adult fiction but have a focus on teens. this one tho... iono bout dat

[@15nicinho]

Plenty of adult books have main characters that are teens. A song of ice and fire follows children 12 and younger.

[@TheMorrigan31]

That doesn't have to be bad, it's the execution that makes or breaks it. Just look at mistborn, the protagonist there is also a teenage girl and that's done pretty well

[@duckielooloui]

@@15nicinho then what makes it adult fiction/fantasy?

[@Kateiswriting]

"The problems start with it being an adult fantasy book with a SEXUALISED main character who is 16 years old" FTFY

[@giovanniferesin5344]

"I'm not like other elements of the periodic table. I'm a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again" -Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis (probably)

[@butteredbananas1394]

I love Franz Katy- I mean Kafka

[@CritiquingCricket]

Oh my God XD

[@withcindy]

- Martin Luther King Jr

[@lore5751]

- Zuko from the Avatar

[@Sir67-2]

Katy perry song?

[@rosa-acicularis7368]

"I don't know why he made her sixteen" We know why.

[@turntechgenetic]

ah yes, the three genders: iron, glass and steel. nonbinary gang we finally got our rep !

[@withcindy]

tag urself i'm a plastic bag

[@zicheng531]

readwithcindy drifting through the wind

[@sapphoslovechild]

cillie wanting to start again

[@briannaabel8854]

@@sapphoslovechild do you ever feel

[@horse_stan6007]

@@briannaabel8854 like a plastic bag

[@graca6629]

I love how they managed to sneak "live, laugh, love" into a book about edgy assassins

[@itsclemtime2357]

Graça G. I’m laughing my ass off in class rn and I think everyone’s looking at me.. 0__0

[@mayamemes4590]

Why 16, she could've been 18 or older and went to a university ... And it would've been less creepy

[@trevingrayek1671]

A lot of YA novels would be overall less creepy if their characters were adults. But we do it anyway, because we as a culture are ok with sexualizing teenagers.

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

@@lampad4549 It's the fact that the author is an adult is the problem.

[@justalostlocal]

@@lampad4549 Uhm "no difference between 16 and 18"? From where did you pull that shi? I'm living prove that in two years late teens change a lot. It's not unhealthy to indulge in sexual fantasy and I'll go as far as to say it doesn't matter who writes it, but HOW/in what context. As far I could tell this dude writes teenage girl as if she's his idealized woman, not in the way of "this harsh world matured mia" but as if cigarette smoking while being philosophical, killing people and having sex is perfectly natural way a teen behave? It's hard to describe, in this book his writing lacks nuance and subtlety which makes teenage characters seems impossible and tacky.

[@frostyclouded]

@@lampad4549 there's literally a difference between 16 and 17, never mind 16 and 18. biologically? maybe not in girls, but potentially in boys. mentally? definitely. 18 is still pretty young, and you're not magically a perfect adult or whatever. but an 18 year old can easily have a lot more experience than a 16 year old. it also kind of depends on a more exact age - if you've just turned 16, there's definitely a big difference between that and being 18 and a half. if you're almost 17, then there's not as big of a difference between that and just having turned 18. but more importantly, a 40 year old writing sex scenes about a 16 year old is weird. especially with how it seems to be written in this book.

[@stormyuwu1287]

@@lampad4549 there is a difference between 16 and 18 biology and mentally, who dtold your brain and body development just stops for 3 whole years?

[@txton1346]

Im not like the other igrls, my entire BODY is made out of plastic. My beauty is unrivalled, and the other girls are QUAKING. Mia is trembling. Conventional beauty standards? Gone. I have BECOME the beauty standard.

[@cassualtea2040]

OH OH THIS REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING Namely the song "The Girl With The Prefabricated Heart" by The Real Tuesday Welds, which tells a much better story than this book does in less than 6 min.

[@xXyukinashiroganeXx]

"I have BECOME the beauty standard." I have BECOME...a Barbie girl. In a Barbie world.

[@cemeterygxtes]

i am become the beauty standard

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

I wish I had this confidence

[@paigemosher8697]

So, what, like Shaye St. John?

[@hfollman98]

Katara from Avatar is always the example I give of a non-"femme fatale", powerful female character

[@withcindy]

YES!!! LOVE HER

[@hfollman98]

@@withcindy Omg I love YOU 🥺

[@hfollman98]

What I mean specifically is being "strong" and being "feminine" are not mutually exclusive. Katara acts as a loving, caring, deeply emotional, mother figure for the group AND is also one of the most powerful non-Avatar waterbenders in the ATLA universe.

[@EdgePatrol]

Katara is also my go-to example of a proper strong female character who isn't a femme-fatale. I'm getting sick of the trope of a female character not being, "strong," until she's completely emotionless and merciless and most importantly, sexy.

[@melaniep4099]

YES MAAM KATARA IS A QUEEN

[@oliviavaughn6160]

"Power. I have a kind of power now." Yes. The power to never be able to run comfortably again.

[@MortMe0430]

true story

[@Sandy-ep4uq]

years and years of being laughed at during p.e. :')

[@oliviavaughn6160]

@@Sandy-ep4uq OMG YEAH. Like, sports bras? Where we're going, we can't FIND sports bras. *zips down road, has to slow down before ever reaching 88*

[@nunyabusiness776]

or walk down the stairs lmaooo

[@oliviavaughn6160]

@@nunyabusiness776 HA yessss. Stairs are a forever no.

[@dpathangi6691]

Oh to be a girl with a knife whose bangs aren’t cut straight

[@10feralratsinacoat76]

Because she used her knife to cut them probably , since edgy people can’t get a proper haircut

[@huhthatsinteresting1644]

Why can't she just grow them out? Like it would be so much easier to put her hair out of her face and she would not have to worry about having to cut them every now and then so that they do not obscure her vision, like wtf

[@withcindy]

oh to be an ugly-but-not-actually-ugly girl

[@damatically]

I imagine olivia's bangs from asobi asobase

[@Mochipandabear]

That cigar monologue sounded like Jughead's weirdo monologue from Riverdale and I honestly zoned out while you read it.

[@thisdudeamiright2321]

i’m such a weirdo i wear a BEANIE 😧😦😮😦😬😳(👁👄👁)(👅👁👅)

[@alabamaslammer3921]

I'm fully convinced that singular piece of dialogue took up like 2 pages

[@abcd_wxy.z]

“i’m weird 😜, im a weirdo 😝. i don’t fit in ❌and i don’t want to fit in🙅🏻‍♂️. have you ever seen 👀 me without this stupid hat 🎩 on🤔? that’s weird😵‍💫.”

[@kovici7226]

I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't... *fit* in - I don't *want* to fit in.

[@failmixer]

"you're a girl with a knife and your bangs aren't cut straight" I choked

[@withcindy]

so different.... so unique

[@Wheeziebeen]

I'm a girl with a knife, and my bangs were cut by me, so they're kinda crooked. *Le gasp* I'm so unique, so special

[@M-CH_]

Try cutting your bangss with a knife and see if it comes out straight.

[@hsmacaraig]

HAH-

[@woahthisisinteresting4369]

@@M-CH_ mulan-

[@RebaMedia]

Every time they get tricked by their assassin teachers: Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 15 times in a row and I suspect literally nothing, how am I still in this secret cutthroat assassin school???

[@withcindy]

they all need to be expelled

[@mariebaillet9800]

But I mean imagine the potential for trope subversion ! Like, Teacher : behold ! The mascarade invitations ! Every student : we all agree this Is a trap right ? And then its bonding time with the team as they prepare counter measures for what their creepy cunnilingus teacher has in store for them

[@jaydenhuell9436]

this some death note logic

[@cheeto.burrito]

I haven't even read the previous context and the second an instructor at a an assassin school said "masquerade ball" I just thought "Yeah nah they're gonna fucking die"

[@Matteus2109]

Christ Cindy. Be careful when turning these pages you don't cut yourself on all this edge.

[@flamingcourtstudios]

Is that a doki doki literature club reference....

[@angelblades6029]

also im wary of any “outspoken feminist” female character whos written by a man bc 90% of the time they have no clue what theyre talking about bc they have little nuanced understanding of the sexism women experience. when u read that monologue abt mia ~reclaiming gendered slurs~ and ~going off about sexism~ it just SCREAMED “im a man who thinks i know what feminists think about stuff”

[@danielbroome5690]

So by extension, you'd rather men NOT bring up sexism or feminism when writing a character at all? Or merely that they have to take a university-level course to be an expert on it?

[@eczemiclinkaye9088]

Daniel Broome They’re simply saying that if a man endeavors to write a female character in first person (or if someone wants to write a character who they can’t relate to) they should do research, it’s the same with every book. Consult people who shares a trait with the character so the writing doesn’t accidentally anger someone. The writer could just assume things from their friends or their family but piecing things together won’t work, what that person wasn’t directly announcing is unknown and the writer filling in the blanks simply doesn’t feel right. They should ask what they feel as a person who fits into the group they’re focusing on, what do most writers get wrong, what do most writers get right? Of course, sometimes they’re irrationally lackadaisical and research is not for them, that’s acceptable as long as they can acclimate to the indignation and odium they have caused that is pointed towards them. Their project that they have tended to for months or years is absolutely egregious because they didn’t want to put in the effort, that’s fine, they just have to live with it and if they can’t then they should’ve done their research.

[@danielbroome5690]

@@eczemiclinkaye9088 I know i was mostly joking with them

[@justalostlocal]

@@danielbroome5690 idk man your first comment doesn't read like a joke, it's kinda sketchy.

[@justalostlocal]

@@danielbroome5690 Alright, just wanted to let you know how it hit the ear, given the fact that someone feels the need to explain, my opinion or bias isn't unfounded. Too often on the internet they're people saying questionable things and when someone take offence they'll say "it's a joke" to avoid confrontation.

[@denofentropy]

Me: The clay ground was a ruddy red Kristoff: The soil was soft like skin but firm, not letting the caked, traumatized leather boots sink beneath it. The color was near the shade of blood, though slightly off, like the sangrine of a corpse several hours old. The brownish tint giving a sense of ancientness, a kind of dirtly wisdom.

[@withcindy]

i hate that u made me read this

[@marggaunt1311]

“Traumitized leather boots” IM SCREAMING

[@abbemiller3085]

Dirtly wisdom 😆😆😆

[@Jackylification]

I completely cracked up at ‘dirtly wisdom’

[@Romanticoutlaw]

lawd. I fall victim to purple prose but even I don’t write like this dude, and thank god. It’s just. Too Much.

[@algonzorithm]

Really amazed by how many of these fictional assassin girls train their bodies for years to become living weapons, but always remain bone-thin with not a drop of muscle mass. Must be a metabolic issue.

[@SantosAl]

I guess they don't eat Enough?

[@isabelleward7858]

I love Skulduggery Pleasant bc Valkyrie ends up Jacked As Fuck

[@josephedwardsarena9487]

Caelena sardothein is kinda jacked

[@meganfaith4052]

Why are there no strong muscle women? Give me those ladies you cowards

[@withcindy]

the muscle mass is in the boobie

[@seanderoiste4661]

I’m not like most girls I am actually dying from malnourishment HELP!!!!

[@ayeshas.3544]

LMAOO

[@nataliaalmeida-nacillustra5954]

It's like fanfiction, but worse, because it's not.

[@animeotaku307]

And because there are fanfics much better than this.

[@birdiejett3163]

Feminist reader: Why is the female heroine so awkwardly sexualized?! Absolutely Brilliant Award-Winning Writer: You don’t understand, she uses her sexuality to trick and murder people! Reader: Wha-how is that better?!!

[@rueluxprince6982]

because weaponized femininity for the win

[@abbyk2166]

Isn’t that just The Witcher lol

[@ellie7646]

@@abbyk2166 Oh god I hated that tv show so much

[@sarakhan-pk7ko]

@@abbyk2166 can you elaborate more on this please

[@gliscorpropagandaaccount1764]

One of my favorite female characters is quite horny and one of her main physical features is giant tits, but she gets a ton of development and her defining personality trait is her kindness, which is so defining that she literally manipulates time in her favor to help her friends. Of course, she is played/written by a woman.

[@slimjimjr96]

THAT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF THE MAIN CHARACTER CANNOT BE REAL OHMYGOD THE FLESH OF HER EYES??? IF HER FACE WAS A PUZZLE???? DUDE

[@reynhacoezy5510]

I cannot write but it seems excessive and Weong on so many levels .

[@madimcclanahan3144]

Has he even looked at a human? 😂

[@snthenightvisitor245]

It's hella excessive of a description. There's poetic prose and there's 13 year old edgy Wattpad writers trying poetic prose lmao

[@memetastic01]

His descriptions are very: Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

[@withcindy]

i hate that ur making me read this

[@Okapeep]

It's perfect 😂

[@sailorcandy6633]

Descriptions usually written by kids is being written by a 40 year old

[@musicalnerds101]

This took 5 years off my life

[@ceciliacrasto4602]

I'm CACKLING

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

I’m so sick of female characters being written like “oh she’s so plain” *launches into description of how gorgeous she is.* Why can’t we have a leading lady who knows she’s pretty? Or-and the world might not be ready for this-one who’s legitimately unattractive? Or maybe her beauty or lack thereof isn’t relevant to the plot, so we get a neutral description of her appearance, e. g., “She was tall and light-skinned, with unevenly cut black hair and hazel eyes,” and decide for ourselves whether we find her attractive or not?

[@Faceless_Cryptid]

THIS. I think it's to display a sense of humility to have the character describe herself as ugly, but not truly make her "ugly" enough to be off putting to the people who only like pretty characters. But then they are never characterized properly as having low self esteem and showing the constant struggle of body dysmorphia, it's only something tacked on the end so the love interest can tell them they actually are pretty.

[@mummytrolls]

There’s no need for the narrator describing the attractiveness at all. We as readers can decide for ourselves if we find them attractive. The writer can also use other characters to show attractiveness. If people are all over them and flirting frequently, we can assume they’re conventionally attractive. If they struggle to get a date we can assume there’s something unattractive/unappealing whether it be appearance or personality. We can read and judge if their behavior seems weird or offputting. It boils down to show don’t tell. I don’t wanna read “MC is the most gorgeous girl in her school.” Mention some conventionally attractive traits. I want to read about how all the guys are flirting with her, she’s super popular, she’s been spring fling queen three years in a row and she doesn’t plan on her senior year being the only exception, etc. I don’t wanna read “MC is ugly.” Mention some traits that aren’t conventionally attractive. I want to notice the lack of guys flirting with her, how she’s never had a date, a guy asked her out once but as a joke, she’s had braces since grade 7 yet it’s her senior year and everyone still calls her “braceface”. Show don’t tell.

[@GoldenWreck]

​@@mummytrolls Ok but idk about using braces to express someone being unconventionally attractive tho, that just seems more like a stereotype imo. It also just depends on the person, cuz one can find braces very attractive as well 🤷‍♀

[@mummytrolls]

@@GoldenWreck Well duh I said conventionally attractive that’s based on stereotypes and shit idc if you find braces attractive or not most ppl don’t that’s the point

[@GoldenWreck]

@@mummytrolls Well speak for yourself cuz a lotta people I know don't care if someone has braces or not 🤷‍♀ I guess they're just built different then lol

[@enyahowell]

The devil works hard and frankly Cindy would like him to stop

[@withcindy]

please make it stop

[@zacharyhawley1693]

😂

[@victoriashevlin8587]

Satan: please stop attributing shit like this to me... Satan: Has left the chat.

[@nevaehlheaven]

I do too

[@InsaneLaughter01]

The bigger the Tatas, the more the female power. Hmmmm sounds like anime logic. I’m a 46 F so I must be powerful af. Lmao

[@Rime_in_Retrograde]

Well that certainly explains Tsunade.

[@aaw4234]

There's actually a anime like that. xd

[@itsclemtime2357]

CelesKyuz what anime is it?

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

@@aaw4234 answer

[@unclewiley1986]

@@khatunamezvrishvili6211 Jay Kristoff killed them before they could answer

[@sagetucker5558]

Types of "Other girls" 1) She is dark, scary, deep and only speaks in riddles and questions. She only wears black. 2) she us too smart for you and doesn't care about fashion and makeup. She doesn't like parites so she stays at home studying. 3) She is too sweet, too perfect. But she doesn't see that in herself, she is constantly looking down on herself. 4) she is sooo badass that even badass couldn't explain it. She is constantly getting praised, and every fight she gets into she wins.

[@abbywolffe4114]

7) She's super plain and "not conventionally pretty" even though she's conventionally pretty, and has the personality of a baked potato yet every boy in the world covets her 8) Her only personality trait is that she reads books.

[@rebeccawhittington8979]

9)she is a bit (or very) toxic eg: Looks down on all girls who like make-up, fashion etc and sometimes calls them sluts, whores

[@Olivia-wb5tt]

11) she's so unique because she doesn't like trends. She doesn't follow what other people like because she would never be ordinary like others. She likes her own type of music and her own stuff.

[@astarlitwishforyou]

1) Manic pixie dream girl, but goth 2) Hermione 3) Cinderella without the character development 4) Katniss

[@astarlitwishforyou]

@Jessica Lynn 5) Ginny 6) Lily Potter, but completely ignoring James's character development

[@angelblades6029]

15:44 “you are appealing to women who want a feminist character, but you’re not alienating the men who still ogle at all the sexiness” PERFECTLY SAID. ive been trying to explain this idea for a while but i havent been able to pin it down into words. this is the exact reason why the overuse of the femme fatale trope bothers me so much.

[@KangMinseok]

What's wrong with not alienating men who like sexy women...

[@schnoz2372]

@@KangMinseok you're missing the point. The writing is shit. If you're writing for the sole purpose of fanservice, your writing is dogshit. Do you get it now?

[@KangMinseok]

@@schnoz2372 which part is fanservice, to appeal to women who want a feminist character or to not wanting to alienate men who like sexy women?

[@AleksandarBell]

@@KangMinseok Because appealing to men who want a sex item instead of a real person is anti feminist

[@KangMinseok]

@@AleksandarBell So being sexy is not feminist and being feminist is not sexy? Since being sexy always appeals to men who like/want sex... I guess it comes down to your definition of feminism; if yours is "feminist character = unattractive to men", then I get your point. I thought feminism was about equality and freedom (including the freedom to be a sex bomb, if a woman choses so). A woman that is forced to be modest and stay at home... well that sounds like the actual anti feminism to me.

[@lynmaerodriguezroman3128]

I wish I had self esteem this man has. The way that he's able to write absolute nonsense and publish it with pride, that lack of shame. A crumb sir, I'm begging.

[@withcindy]

I wish I did too! I wanna feel good about myself lol

[@parkerisles7256]

It's more amazing this was published and he made money off of it.

[@SergioLeonardoCornejo]

@@parkerisles7256 as an indie author myself it is works like this which made me lose all respect for traditional publishing.

[@snokful]

The "grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man" kind of thing? 😅

[@queerlibtardhippie9357]

@@parkerisles7256 Well he had published before, and the book is physically attractive so I'm not surprised

[@alexiavasquez4019]

This man is desperately trying to up his word count

[@withcindy]

but at what cost...

[@sena6453]

broke: showing not telling. woke: using eighty metaphors to describe one thing.

[@withcindy]

big brain energy

[@laurapinto6204]

middle aged man writing a teen girl: okay so she smokes. not cigarettes. that’s juvenile. CIGARS. yes because teen girls just carry those around so that they can dramatically monologue. of course. idk why i don’t have a daughter, i was born to have one.

[@TheAdarkerglow]

"Beautiful like a fresh suicide." CRRRRAWWWWWLLING IN MY SKIN!

[@abbywolffe4114]

I'm _crying_ that is hilarious

[@StudlyFudd13]

THESES WOOOOUNDS THEY WIIIIIL NOT HEEEAAAL

[@brunoxd151]

FEAR IS HOW I FAAAAALL

[@HeliaAkbari]

Loooool

[@taehyungsstepstool6417]

Lmao

[@KatBlaque]

lol. I hate this book so much I crave a bad tv show that I can also laugh at.

[@julesking1303]

love seeing my fav youtube ladies supporting each other lol

[@its_just_seb]

Didn't Piera Forde make a Nevernight TV show?

[@RF-mc8cx]

@JustSeb not low-quality enough

[@Risivia]

You and I must watch the same videos because I’ve been seeing your comments a lot.

[@yayalucia7997]

PLEASE, i want another Riverdale-style show to clown

[@atree9284]

Can we just talk about how she probably had to google “pigs in the sea” for that one bit?

[@withcindy]

yes i did

[@biazacha]

@@withcindy we salute your dedication

[@jaymesEo6]

@@withcindy There were strangely enough so many pictures of this subject matter. I'm kind of afraid...

[@wisperrose]

It's actually a huge thing in the Bahamas

[@sauletol]

I started to laugh at that part xdd

[@peachprincess8486]

I like how Mia is told its good that she isnt too beautiful so she doesn't get noticed but later on they make her undergo the operation to make her seductive. It has the same energy as when men tell women they like no makeup but expect a fully contoured dewy foundation-painted face. Either way thank you for your videos Cindy!

[@queenb2450]

Idk why this reminds me of the "Uglies" series???? Did this guy just copy that lmaooo (I know this is super late)

[@animeotaku307]

@@queenb2450At least Uglies was a dystopian commentary on our beauty standards. There was an excuse for surgeries to make girls more attractive.

[@becca269]

i’m not convinced this man has ever met a teenage girl

[@glennonbell8917]

And based on this book I don’t want him to meet one

[@sailorcandy6633]

He did research on Wattpad

[@withcindy]

let's keep it that way

[@Horologica]

That's good

[@SergioLeonardoCornejo]

Well. I don't think am edgy 40 year old dude is likely to meet a teenage girl at all. I mean. Yeah. If he was a cool 40 year old dude, rockstar level, he would have groupies ages 12 and up actively seeking him as a love interest, but edgy middle aged men are twice as unpleasant as edgy teenagers, and nobody likes edgy teenagers irl, not even other edgy teenagers.

[@ZiriO]

"An edgy sixteen year old joins an assassin school with other edgy sixteen year olds to seek vengeance on the people who killed her family" ....oh my gosh you guys he wrote an anime, there's our problem right there.

[@nonsensicalabyss]

Hey thats insulting to anime 😠

[@joyc.e.7511]

That sounds like the very edgy, generic, self-insert-y anime

[@ImperialFister]

You know, you're right. I respect that

[@pianoismyeverything]

Generic Anime plot

[@aahana4931]

lowkey sounds like a harem anime

[@nanizet]

I am absolutely losing my MIND at "oinking sea" WHERE WAS THE EDITOR?! WHO APPROVED THAT FJAKCKSKFK

[@withcindy]

it's a beautiful metaphor if u think about it

[@kiera6326]

What sea do we know that oinks?

[@Wheeziebeen]

@The Fool wait, so I'm confused are you serious? Or just making a joke? Considering your name

[@JudgeNicodemus]

@@kiera6326 Clearly you use the secret Joestar family technique!

[@nayanavachharajani6141]

Right up there with barking pain

[@thetimetravellingtailor6323]

He said that her legs were flying into the air and that her back was arched... Our gal need an exorcism???

[@AdaTheWatcher]

He was licking out the demons lmfao

[@bluefairy7653]

@@AdaTheWatcher NOT THIS SKSDJVOVVEUHF

[@davinat1262]

I’m sorry but how weird is your writing for Cindy to not like the sex scene???????????

[@catcher881]

Bringing up the real issue here!

[@withcindy]

it's a damn shame... my standards are piss poor too

[@biazacha]

I had to pause the video on the sex scene cause I was laughing so damn much my eyes where teared and my stomach starting to hurt.

[@xRaiofSunshine]

That’s when you KNOW you done goofed

[@rithikamadhusha1708]

What does Jay Kristoff think steel is? "I'm not iron, I'm an iron-carbon alloy. A lot of preps stare at me. I put my middle finger up at them."

[@coffee_person938]

that my immortal reference i-

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

MY IMMORTAL???

[@user-mx7tj3jz1y]

@@iwakeupandboomimarat i hate that I understood what you were talking about. I hate it

[@pastelnova6936]

That reference tho

[@serdsouza6670]

Everywhere I go, My Immortal follows

[@clairemarie7027]

"oinking sea" i imagined ocean waves that oinked as they hit the beach, i couldn't help but laugh

[@xRaiofSunshine]

That’d be an improvement 😂

[@sol8449]

I hate the beach even though I live by one but I’d go everyday just to hear the waves oinking at me.

[@desireeskumachan]

God. It was so funny, I actually consider Oinking Sea legit as a genius stroke of writing as compared to all the other shitstorm

[@vardell9409]

Read this before watching the video; and I'm utterly intrigued, to say the least 😂😂

[@JRyan-lu5im]

I can just see a creepy pasta on this, "I listened to the waves, now all I hear is squealing..."

[@zoeb3573]

r/menwritingwomen meets "I'm 14 and this is deep" Love how she gets this whole monologue about how lucky she is to be ugly, immediately followed by plastic surgery and a boob job.

[@katea.5013]

Me drunkenly pointing at my reflection in my bathroom mirror: "You're so lucky to be ugly"

[@strawberrymagpie]

Mood

[@Jogjosmowwdkfs]

Meee

[@DangerNoodleReads]

Why is this so relatable it hurts

[@withcindy]

ouchie

[@iminer978]

"...So THEN you blow on it. Also, remember to compress to the rhythm of ''Stayin' Alive' by the 'Bee Gees', and remember: chicks dig slam poetry.'" -This instructor, probably, while holding back tears of laughter

[@darkhearttantibus2766]

.....taken out of context, this quote is me trying to perform a CPR, probably

[@psyche5200]

"First I was afraid, I was petrified..."

[@frostpersonal3758]

underrated comment

[@coffee_person938]

@@psyche5200 "Kept thinking i could never live without you by my side..."

[@abbywolffe4114]

I'm holding back tears of laughter reading this

[@kitty-cn7mv]

I love when author's idea of a "badass" female character is abusing their poor sidekicks, nothing screams being powerful like being a bully.

[@chillitheconqueror3567]

Yeah, what's up with that? Do authors just not know how to write a cool, feminist female character without her being a bully???

[@amonrawya3064]

I have such a huge issue with suicide being discribed as beautiful. It is not. It is messy, painful, sad and awful. There is no beauty. That language is part of the problem in media of romanticising suicide and mental health issues. I despise it, and the instant I ever come across that in a book, I'll take it back to the shop. Its an utterly dangerous and disgusting mindset to give out to young people. I have many, many issues with this book just from watching this video, and I love how you've done it, Cindy. As someone who loves assassin stories, this disappoints me. For once, I just want to read about a female assassin who relishes the kill, and is sick in the head. Not all girls are morally good and always right. The sex part doesn't always bother me, if it makes sense to the story and the character. Like Natasha Romanoff, who was taught by the Red Room to use her sexuality as a weapon. That makes sense. But it doesn't always. To me, when a character is 'not like other girls/boys', they should be incredibly lonely. But they aren't, which makes it ridiculous. Like the Doctor, who for centuries was the last of his kind, literally not like anyone else, and was lonely, without a home. That's the proper way to deal with that, not à silly, immature 'different girl/boy'. The sex scènes sound disgusting 🤢 (Also, the surgery thing to change her appearance sounds like a rip-off of Yennefer from the Witcher)

[@admiral_kono]

Did I understand this right? You haven´t read the book yet, but the way Cindy presents it, which is clearly based on her own opinion and thoughts about this book, is enough for you to already have a full opinion about it. She presents it the way she feels about and that´s is in the case of "Nevernight" nothing more than disgusted. I have to say that I really liked this book and disagree with Cindy in most cases but this is her opinion. What surprises me is that you have built your own opinion about this book after watching a video in which the creator only illuminates negative things in a non-rational way.

[@amonrawya3064]

@@admiral_kono This isn't the only review I have read and watched about this book. This comment I left was a result of all of these, and me coming to form an opinion of my own. I do not plan on reading it, for the reasons I mentioned above. I'm allowed to formulate my own views on something from my own research. If you like this, fine, I don't have a problem with that. People like what they like. I've already said why I don't like what I've heard, and why I won't read it. I respect that you like it, but because of an assumption you've made off one comment you don't respect my opinion?

[@admiral_kono]

@@amonrawya3064 I think every opinion should be respected and so I respect your opinion. Your comment says that you came to your opinion about the book after this video so I thought you only watched this one. This was what surprised me because I think this book review is more a sarcastic one sided entertainment than a rational criticism with pros and cons.

[@amonrawya3064]

@@admiral_kono Her commentary is usually sarcastic, but I find her points to be very good. What I meant in my comment is that after watching this video, I had found out all I needed to frame my opinion. It was late at the time, so I could have been clearer about that.

[@74jf92jd]

Yes I love going into the replies of a controversial comment and seeing rational people having a respectful debate. I congratulate you two.

[@mathis3440]

If this book was a puzzle, I’d put it back in the box

[@withcindy]

the metaphor is complete

[@fivenightsatpastastuck2132]

I FOUND FELLOW HOMEDTUCK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2020

[@ashikjaman1940]

@@fivenightsatpastastuck2132 Y'all should not read Homestuck 2 btw

[@mathis3440]

readwithcindy not until we throw that box into an oinking sea

[@steg8048]

When Cindy hates a book I love: embodies crying cat meme, feelings hurt, skin thinner than a grape When Cindy critiques a book I hate: let me get snacks

[@kf6647]

“my mother told me that was the dirtiest word you could use” ok but have you met any British people because we use that word to say hello

[@withcindy]

clearly his mom isnt british

[@kiera6326]

I know. It’s a lovable compliment in a lot of cases.

[@shangc2781]

But Jay Krisstoff is Australian? We're probably the only country that uses the C word more than the poms. It's an especially weird monologue coming from an Aussie writer.

[@lindseyspuria424]

I…I cannot believe a grown man wrote an entire monologue where a young female character says, “the c word is empowering, actually” What the hell

[@baintreachas]

Where I’m from it’s not even a particularly strong cuss, much less considered a gendered slur… and I still found that monologue painful lmao

[@infinitemausoleum721]

Only like five minutes in but like, if this guy wanted her to be 'unattractive' but have a distinct appearance, why not say that her features are sunken? So sunken you can see her skull clearly. You could even say something like "The rumors were right. She was, literally, the face of death" Also mark my words a school of assassins would have a *massive* problem with academic dishonestly.

[@trevingrayek1671]

I have been reworking an idea for a character to look a lot like this with the addition of having bone powers. Very ghoul-like.

[@coffee_person938]

@@trevingrayek1671 bone powers? can you please elaborate?

[@crispyein8601]

toaster bubblebath *_megalovania intensifies_*

[@trevingrayek1671]

toaster bubblebath Like Marrow from X-men only WAY more versatile

[@coffee_person938]

@@trevingrayek1671 hmm, that sounds pretty cool

[@sawrirocks]

This book is so offensive on so many levels...it's stressing me out. Might look at some pigs in the sea to calm myself.

[@yukikanegawa7470]

Gotchu fam just pretend it's drowning or else your edgelord credentials might get revoked kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKmmeIiFiNR8eJo

[@JudgeNicodemus]

See the main difference between pigs in the sea and sea piglets is that the former gives me whiplash whilst the later is cute in an eldritch way.

[@hsmacaraig]

AHAH

[@Thecatsworlds]

Pigs in the sea? Do you mean fat sea otters? Or manatees?

[@dreamer1-7]

I looked up pigs in the sea and now I have a new coping ritual lol thank you

[@queendsheena1]

Jay Kristoff: *Describes his definition of ugly* Fashion Runway: Am I a joke to you?

[@withcindy]

u NEVER see ppl who look like that on a runway!! she truly is a monster

[@eclipse5954]

You don't tho. He literally described a girl that would be considered unattractive by our standards today, and idk how people think models are the beauty standard bc they're really not. As a society we've always liked the "average". People that aren't too thin and aren't obese. I've been thin my whole life and never felt good about my body bc everyone in my life says things to make me feel like shit about it, in the way that Mia is described in the books. No ass, no boobs, too thin, too pale, all of those have been said to me to make me feel like shit about myself. And I'm assuming when you say "pale" you mean someone that is white, but among white people, pasty pale skin is not considered attractive, you get made fun of if you have super pale skin. Tans are considered more attractive, that's why we go to tanning salons or do self tanner or sit out in the sun to get a tan. She is also described as having "no ass" multiple times, that's not considered attractive!! Don't you know "thicc" is in rn? Also, he didn't say that she has "well-defined, chiseled cheekbones" or whatever you say in the video, he says hollowed cheeks, meaning literally bc she's underweight and starved. You're putting words onto the page that aren't there. He's describing someone that really is unattractive and you're just adding in stuff that's not true and being like "oh just the not like other girls trope again" but I don't see that at all. Maybe it is different in the way that someone actually has an ugly main character and that's not the norm, but I thought that'd be a good thing. I know you don't think she'd be considered ugly just bc she's white and thin, but beauty is about more than race and being thin, so she would still be considered ugly by today's standards. Not all white people that are thin are considered pretty just bc they're white and thin.

[@eclipse5954]

If that sounded rude or intense, I don't mean to be, I'm just tired of people claiming that my body type is still considered the beauty standard when I've developed really low self-esteem and body image issues from the way people have treated me for the way my body is, so when people say that I'm like no, people like not too thin, not too overweight, that is the beauty standard in terms of body weight bc either end of the spectrum gets you treated like shit

[@lalafunnys]

Samantha Schuett I understand your feelings, but even if you don't feel like you're the definition of the current beauty standard, let me proffer: "80s/90s kate moss cocaine chic"

[@ironic4497]

@@eclipse5954 stop making everything about you. enjoy your pity party somewhere else

[@johnDoe-gv8si]

What's killing me is that it's literally super dangerous for teenagers to get plastic surgery because they are still growing and developing you'd think an assassin school would know basic biology.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Have you not considered: protag must be sexy. Also, I bet the author of this book considers 16 year old girls to be ‘full grown’ to justify his clear fetish for themn

[@t-win0]

God, his writing reads so much like your english teacher that just wants to be published but can't so he's making the whole class read his stuff instead

[@history_lover63]

t-win my AP Lit teacher had us read one of his papers from college in class. Now I’m wondering if Jay Kristoff is just an alias for him

[@ocinidolegna]

Stop this hurts me so much :'(

[@desolationdiamond1736]

Wow that's film school but like professors show you their student short films from the 80's...

[@max1mum0verdr1ve]

Ugh..... I can't imagine the teacher having the class read THIS book. That'd be so creepy....

[@catrocks7180]

"she takes out a cigar and goes into a monologue" Thomas Shelby has entered the chat

[@withcindy]

Peak edginess indeed

[@beetljam792]

@@withcindy more like peaky edginess _ba dum tss_

[@ambo6513]

Blow my cooch...by ordah of the peaky fookin blindahs

[@eastgapeach]

😂😂😂

[@haleywells7369]

YESSS 😂😂

[@prosevspoetry]

just wondering if gays exist in these worlds like what happens when the target is a gay dude?

[@rabbitrulez]

They probably win and become the series villian only to secretly use the Female protagonists bf to get to the female character. The bf will die and let the villian become deranged leaving the female protagonist kill him only for her to date the second man in line as her bf.

[@rectrixity]

shes fucked ig, FEAR THE POWER OF THE GAYS AND ASEXUALS

[@toastercat2946]

I would read the hell out of a book like that

[@magalimizuki3752]

A Webtoon Comic depicted this in Winter Moon, where Risa seduces other players in the game to get gold and she wrongly decides her next target to seduce who is a gay mage named Florence who enslaves her for a while.

[@sayismartinez7615]

The main character is bisexual. Later on her bestfriend/girlfriend is a lesbian.

[@koshetchka]

i'm sick and pale and my bangs aren't cut straight and all i get is sent to the psych ward for serious mental health issues instead of a boob job... where is the justice 😤

[@elainasynranelt]

so true

[@amlugonnen5106]

Whenever I get worried about my writing and the characters in my stories, I remember these books exist and I become much more confident in everything I create.

[@l.cristea9062]

Same haha

[@pakki6555]

me

[@Rivenlore99]

Me too :)

[@toastercat2946]

Yo same

[@khaygiel]

Right? I have some books that really weren't worth the cost of buying them but I keep them around to remind myself when I'm in a slump that if some of those stories can get published, then my writing is probably a little better the raging dumpsterfire I think it is

[@catrocks7180]

"he had the kind of beauty that dimmed all the light around him" My boi is Edward Cullen in the sun.

[@ce2araybara226]

This is good

[@withcindy]

EDWARD MAKES A CAMEO?!?

[@sina3602]

Ok but the way he described the sex scene was actually very alarming. It literally sounds like what teens put out on smut wattpad for their own pleasure and the fact that a grown man did it about a teen is disturbing. Like the details were so unnecessary and weird???

[@moustik31]

Maybe Jay Kristoff is an incel. He does share a lot of their values.

[@beidjishxishbsidjishdjsicw9364]

LMAO NOT SMUT WATTPAD

[@mrstrangeworld5977]

yh that's not true

[@sina3602]

@@mrstrangeworld5977 male

[@sina3602]

@@beidjishxishbsidjishdjsicw9364 LMFAOO did i lie tho 😭

[@cee_ves]

This guy writes like me trying to fit as many writing techniques into my essays for English as possible. I’m including 12 metaphors, 7 similes, 3 lists, 4 pieces of dialogue with abrasive tone and at least 1 description of physical setting or character a page even if it makes my blood boil like a kettle on fire in the scorching desert sun, like an erupting volcano, like the heat leaving a body after a fresh suicide

[@automaticexternaldefibrillator]

omg lmao

[@aries08]

🎵and a partridge in a pear tree🎵

[@faec.8950]

Lmao he really does.

[@akhilanarayanan3270]

"Looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts." Ok... then why does your "ugly" female character need plastic surgery in order to unlock her full potential and get her man? This is literally Yennefer from the Witcher and a few other fantasy stories I can't name right now. Like, if being ugly "builds character" or some shit...Why not just... let them be ugly AND powerful. Like this is such a great opportunity to actually put that into action

[@withcindy]

LET UGLY GIRLS BE POWERFUL U COWARDS!!!!!!

[@alexanderboleyn2058]

Akhila Narayanan but at least with Yennefer she did it because of insecurities and 100 years later (lmao) realized it’s useless! This girl right here became like those Insta models saying "love yourself" after changing her whole appearance 😂😂😂

[@akhilanarayanan3270]

@@alexanderboleyn2058 yeah that's true with Yennefer. I guess alina from the grisha trilogy is a better comparison lol. "I'm not like other girls, i'm skinny and ugly and boys don't like me. but wait! now that I can use my superpowers i'm suddenly pretty and Mal notices me!" like so much for true unconditional love lmfao (yes I do realize that even after she became sickly again in book 2 he still chose her but the original point still stands. why did she need to become pretty in the first place)

[@ELFNY]

The male students also get cosmetic surgery and they all get seduction lessons. Cindy left that part out because it conflicted with her "male author gross" narrative.

[@blackk_rose_]

@@ELFNY she mentions it with the guy with the tattoos but ok

[@leoninenoble]

Oink with Cindy: A Guided Meditation

[@withcindy]

oink oink oink oink oink.... ahhhh

[@aileencrain6558]

“She slapped him on top his head” What? I’m picturing her reaching way up, probably jumping, cuz she’s so short, and bitchslapping his hair. How does work?

[@withcindy]

She jumped on a trampoline first

[@malublue1013]

i think they were sitting

[@onibeebee]

she did a basketball slam dunk to hit his noggin

[@Cynefrion]

I don’t know why, but “oinking scene” gave me the same vibe as the “look at all those chickens” vine

[@milliaboo765]

cindy: there is a very *long* sex scene- me: huh. i thought cindy would dig that. cindy, one second later: -normally i like these but i did not like this one. lmaoo the bar is on the ground and this author just kept digging

[@withcindy]

a shame for sure...

[@sailorcandy6633]

I had to set that part at x2.00 speed.

[@commander31able60]

that old man is a 16-year-old edgelord that survived into adulthood.

[@reynhacoezy5510]

How ? I thought you killed them al .

[@melanfolly]

The moment I saw this, I shuddered. I knew that my past was creeping up on me once more. “No,” I whispered, shaking my head frantically. It was back, haunting my dreams, leaking into reality. There was no escaping it, no running away. Here, it stood before me. Big tiddy liddy.

[@guessmyname1246]

LOL

[@gabrielavo512]

How is your paragraph better than the actual big tiddy novel???

[@zyonhenderson67]

@@melanfolly I am still mad that big titty liddy is not real.... But hey nice use of personification! "Leaking into reality" was a nice touch

[@jconnor1337]

BTL? Pssf, has noting on PTC

[@joutatheegg]

The book: “They can give you a new face but not a new heart” Me: but they can though.... it’s called a transplant-

[@KangMinseok]

The fun of words that have multiple meanings.

[@automaticexternaldefibrillator]

ah yes

[@automaticexternaldefibrillator]

the unoriginal yet still funny enough joke

[@auggiemain]

The author: Beautiful like a suicide Me, who was throwing up disgusting yellow bile for 23 hours after trying to commit suicide: Bish, wha? Edit: I'm okay now guys my parents are trying to find me a counselor to help me but it's been hard because of everything going on but I'm fine, or at least, will be. Thanks for the concern and I love all of you too!

[@withcindy]

ya.... iono about that

[@lore5751]

Wtf suicide isn’t beautiful

[@dan-gy4vu]

Sis I- you ok?

[@auggiemain]

@@dan-gy4vu is anyone ever?

[@auggiemain]

@@lore5751 that was my point

[@MinaReads]

this author told me i make "worthless noise on the internet" and it turns out he makes worthless noise on the NYT bestseller list! who knew we had so much in common 😳

[@MinaReads]

THE OINKING SEA DKJFHSKJHF

[@withcindy]

His writing is so.... Well ... Let's just say that he's hardly worth being offended over lmao

[@amelia5287]

cindys unending cynicism just makes her an honorary british person at this point

[@withcindy]

when i say disgusting i'll say it as "DIS COS TANG"

[@mythandmayhem1134]

I feel like that’s really high praise. Congratulations, Cindy.

[@tutdunsthemouse]

i grant her honorary british membership

[@Maddie-ol5oc]

Yes, you are welcome here.

[@justalostlocal]

It's only a question of time before Her Majesty The Queen grants Cindy an invitation. We commoners can only wish.

[@liannag2637]

it terrifies me how obsessed “booktok” is with nevernight. LIKE, TEENS THINK THIS IS THE BEST LITERATURE OF THE CENTURY WHILE READING ABOUT SEXUALIZED 16 YEAR OLDS WRITTEN BY A GROWN MAN🥰

[@sleepdeprived_inc.]

Fr fr. Almost read the book bc I saw people saying it was good. So glad I didn’t have the opportunity now. Have seen better written fanfics and have clicked out for smaller. Like bro what 😭

[@mistywindow16]

@@sleepdeprived_inc. Can you pass the fic recs?

[@sleepdeprived_inc.]

@@mistywindow16 Hell yes. (These I absolutely love btw) Fics by Killthespare on ao3 are good, their main fics being the series “Haikyuu at Hogwarts.” The first one of that series being, “Hinata and the mirror of Erised.” “The Land of His Brothers” by DOC_Holliday is good, but it hasn’t been updated in a while. “TommyInnit's Services for Villains, Vigilantes, and Various Other Vagabonds” by ScorpioNoesIt is amazing and one of my favorite fics, while being the best hero au I’ve ever read. “Whispers of Lost Reality” is a Doctor Who au done by That_One_Doc_Dragon And a good bit of the Humans Are Space Orcs fandom is fucking immaculate. I have so many good fics, but it’s been so long I can’t remember all their titles. If remember any more, I’ll be sure to link them. (Linked Universe fics are pretty damn good too btw).

[@mistywindow16]

@@sleepdeprived_inc. Wow, thanks for all the recs I'll definitely check some of these out and thanks for taking some of your time to compile this list of fics!

[@iclynnx]

Not just s3xualized, he wrote an entire s3x scene. Couldn't the character have been at least 18? 😬

[@Sleipnirseight]

I feel like there's a big difference between having a love for the craft, and whatever is the literary equivalent of someone who loves to hear themselves talk

[@siriuslyconfused1]

Purple prose.

[@billuraral1870]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@cherrycordiaI]

I get the feeling that if this wasn't written by a middle-aged male with a pre-established career this would be lambasted as some edgy teenager's escapism wank, like an unironic My Immortal. This whole novel has a creepy miasma about it. Like, did the main character HAVE to be a teenage girl? It's marketed as an adult fantasy, so would the narrative suffer that much if this were some elite university-style academy. I mean, the concept of a school for assassins is already anime/YA enough. May as well go the whole hog and skim some of that unnecessary ickiness off the top.

[@withcindy]

thats what i think too. i really dont know why she had to be 16, especially since she does not act like a teenager at all

[@miles4939]

@@jazwhoaskedforthis i know right!! surely it's illegal to do cosmetic surgery on a kid whos body isn't even fully matured yet

[@Pipkiablo]

@nan I don't think it's that out there for adult media to have child or teenage protagonists (Jojo Rabbit, Pan's Labyrinth, and The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon come to mind). I think the difference is how you write them. The way this guy writes his characters and uses so many tropes more common to teen fiction than adult fiction sounds more like a YA novel than an adult one.

[@justalostlocal]

@nan If written properly kids can be great protagonists for adults novels because despite very different lives we lead we can still relate to certain experiences and feelings. Adults have lived through childhoods and it could make a novel refreshing and relatable. Interestingly that doesn't mean the story can't have dark themes. Steven King's success is partly because how interesting the juxtaposition of innocent teens and supernatural horror are (dude does write distasteful stuff but he did some other things right). An example I thought of is an anime/manga called "Promised Neverland" it's a psychological thriller putting audience in a powerless position like the MCs who are children having to outwit adults. Nothing were sexual yay. That POV made a engaging story which wouldn't be the same with older characters. Don't give up on marketing your novel as adult! You could market it as NA which is New adults so around the age of 18, but again just because MCs are children doesn't mean it needs to be YA.

[@evangelion8793]

I mean I definitely get the creepy air of an older man writing a teenage girl protag and having her do this stuff but at the same time like (as a teenage girl myself) I’d like to see more representation of female protags. Like if he’s just doing it to be creepy that’s totally gross but at the same time like she’s strong and can do stuff for herself which is nice to see a male writer do for once... idk

[@katieclingan4995]

when she was like “I’m not iron, I’m not glass” all I could think of was her finishing that sentence with “I’m divergent” 😂😂😂