A Mega Collection of School Stories | Would I Lie To You?

[@Maikoh-ud4eu]

“Do you believe people can have beef on site?” gets me everytime. Every single clip I’ll happily rewatch 💃🏽

[@LoneKharnivore]

*sight

[@Maikoh-ud4eu]

@@LoneKharnivore I interpreted it as ‘site’ like area/place, but thank you for taking the time to clarify 😅

[@tobymortimer13]

@@Maikoh-ud4eu i think you're right, pretty sure it is site. Common way of referring to a school area so i assume so

[@Jivvi]

​@@tobymortimer13 He rephrases "Me and him had beef on sight," as "As soon as we locked eyes I knew there was going to be an issue." Definitely sight.

[@tobymortimer13]

@@Jivvi ah, ig i stand corrected

[@freyaa6209]

Have I watched all these clips at least 30 times? Yes. Will I watch the whole of a new 2 and half hour compilation of them again? Also yes. Can’t get enough of this show 😂❤

[@rolandvirag8522]

damn right you are

[@glenn1534]

...and yes I'll still laugh at most of the jokes I've heard 30 times before 😅

[@GAGL.Evolution]

@freyaa6209 Welcome to the enlightened ❤❤❤

[@angleruk3190]

I've seen some more than thirty times 😂 I put it on when I'm driving and let em roll 😅

[@MichelleDalkin]

Watched like hundred times , can’t get enough of

[@ellicel]

My heart grew two sizes just watching poor Robert speechless and flustered from seeing his crush again 🥰🤗

[@JustJoshing..]

Greg and Lee's interaction about Greg being a teacher is one of my favourite bits on this show...

[@freyaa6209]

14:40

[@NicolasMogensen]

Both of "The Giants" always kick arse on WILTY. Richard Osman is brilliant as well. The badger story,, man, the adlibbing is genuinely impressive.

[@drivethru6155]

That one with Miles is one of the best segments ever in WILTY, I'll never get tired of it even after seeing it at least 30 times

[@andreaskarlsson5251]

is it the dead cat story? :D

[@stewartmoore5158]

His quote was pretty much bang on, why did they think it was a misquote? They rip on him and he was right 😂

[@andreaskarlsson5251]

Yes decently close ,but its a quote about corruption😂

[@Jivvi]

I was thinking the same thing. I reckon they just hadn't heard that quote, and thought he meant a different one.

[@zytenn]

Yeaa esp coz Rob's a comic book fan. Guess he didn't watch the movies lol

[@jonhayes7322]

It is!!!

[@udayshankarr2327]

Pied piper of literacy 😂😂😂

[@invincibleajay]

So heart warming to see Robert lost for words seeing his childhood crush. Bless him!

[@RoganBits]

no. That was creepy as hell.

[@ellicel]

I thought it was sweet. I really felt for him being at a loss for words even after all these years. I'm glad Edward was quite gracious.

[@bee4590]

@@RoganBits It really wasn’t. The guy agreed to come onto the show and likely got paid for it

[@bayoubilly5176]

​@@RoganBitsooooh it's icky cuz he's ghey... Dude it's not creepy at all...

[@yourlocalpunkkid6136]

@@RoganBitsexplain.

[@zainabnasiru4642]

The pied piper of literacy will never not make me laugh

[@PetroicaRodinogaster264]

our lives will be richer for knowing that fact about you. Donkey!

[@Lolitah007]

"we used to make steel" was so personal 😂

[@denisegreene8441]

As an adult i understand i have OCD tendencies but as a kid i was just the kid in class that was super organized. I actually had a guy come up to me in class and he offered to pay me to organize his desk drawer. Once a week we would get marks on how tidy and organized our desks were. He was desperate to get some extra points. Anyway.. i did it and he won. He came in to " review " everything so he knew where everything was and when the teacher tested him on how fast he could find the correct subject notebook he passed. He paid me for the rest of the yr to do it and by the end of the yr he had actually become very tidy / organized on his own. We were in a split grade class ( grades 6 & 7) so he then went on to highschool a yr ahead of me. When i went on to highschool he came up to me and thanked me for helping him so much. He was popular, i was not. The simple fact of him talking to me in the hallways stopped the other "popular kids" from picking on me. Every good deed should be paid forward.

[@GAGL.Evolution]

@denisegreene8441 You've got yourself the outline of a script on your hands.😊👍🏅

[@angelarox3969]

True! 😃👍

[@tanssi2145]

I’ve heard of you, didn’t you go on to offer rubber cleaning services? 😉

[@TheOnlyGamingDML]

what does 'OCD tenedencies' mean? do you have OCD or not

[@glenbrucecostello4464]

So many great true stories and some of the porkies are legendary , but Gregs" Vegetables "will always be my personal favourite Greg is such a agreat story teller😅. I can watch this over and over again .

[@mavenfrankeus7287]

When I'm at the retirement home or lying at home in my later years I will have Bob Mortimer on every day talking about the Hand Lion...

[@NicolasMogensen]

The "I perform my own dentistry" is genuinely the most insane story to date I've heard on WILTY (of the stories that you'd within reason do think has a tiny chance of being true) and as David once exasperated exclaimed ",,and they're ALL TRUE!!!"

[@mavenfrankeus7287]

@@NicolasMogensen Yeah...

[@scootertiff]

⁠@@NicolasMogensenabsolutely still my favorite and my go to, “have you watched this show? Let me show you why you should!!” intro clip. Well, most Mortimer clips work well for that…. “I do beg your pardon but we are in your garden… I DO BEG YOUR PARDON BUT WE ARE IN YOUR GARDENNNN!!!” 😂🤣

[@NovaBlueNova]

God the Brian Blessed episode is so bizarre and amazing. He's such a unique guy, I love him

[@angleruk3190]

We've all been Bafter nominated 😅

[@UltimateTopXOfficial]

The "Die a hero..." quote was accurate.

[@BenjaminGoose]

Yeah if you're some kind of comic book guy.

[@rooty]

​@@BenjaminGooseit's from a giant blockbuster movie

[@rhodarivera3148]

🕸️🦸‍♂️

[@joedwyer3297]

​@@rootyno its not its from batman

[@rooty]

@@joedwyer3297 which grossed a billion dollars

[@jordanalexander4215]

The lie about Greg’s mate Gavin and the creme egg is hilarious because I had a teacher called Gavin who is best mates with Greg Davies. I could totally picture it 🤣

[@Maikoh-ud4eu]

I’m pretty sure he was picturing your teacher in this story hence he was able to see it so clearly in his head 🤣

[@pamflux9587]

Yeah that one got me because I knew he hadn’t made Gavin up

[@benjones8594]

@@pamflux9587The best lies are hidden in truths

[@ykskes2561]

We went to Paris with school and when it was time to go from the Eiffel Tower area back to the hotel we had a head count in the bus… yup everyone was there according to the teacher and went off to our hotel… this was about 6:30 pm… back in the hotel everything was al fun and great until one of the classmates asked if we’d seen “boys name” ( can’t remember his name ) lately, because he was not in his room or anywhere to be found… this was about 11:30pm when we found out 🤣🫣 Teachers in full panic mode going onto searching the boy and went back to where we last seen him at the Eiffel Tower and luckily he was clever enough to hang around and waited to be eventually picked up 😅 poor sod 😅🤣

[@RukhsarSanjaree]

Omg lol

[@RachelHarvey-do2ds]

Snorkel parka music practice room will never not make me laugh 😂

[@RukhsarSanjaree]

I love the bit where Ian was the guest and it was obviously Carol because Lee and David were so invested in each other's lies 😅

[@ronnythu6328]

Vegetables!! 😂😂

[@ToniHunterOne]

55:20 This is exactly how the school I went to in 3rd and 4th grade. McKinley Elementary in Collinsville IL. It was a 2 story building plus basement which had the boiler room, a single room that was the school's dedicated library and Mr. Schieble's office the Janitor and cleaning and maintenance supply room. We had two classrooms on the other two levels. 1st and 2nd on the ground floor and 3rd and 4th on the second floor. In the morning when attendance is called, instead of saying "here" or "present" the child would say packed or purchased. We still didn't have hot lunches. The teacher would gather up the tallies from the other 3 teachers and call the Middle School with the total. This also included a raise of hands were children would say if they wanted white or chocolate milk and how many of each. At lunch time, those of us with lunch from home would get our lunches from the cloak room and the middle school would have delivered the purchased lunches and crates of cold milk. The lunches would cold sack lunches a sandwich, a carrot, an apple and usually some cookie.

[@ScottJones-d7s]

Wow! The editors are as brilliant as the comedians! All the fat is trimmed and nothing but comedy gold!

[@PennyCornish-up2zi]

Watched more than thirty times, watch it every day. I love Lee and David, they play off each other brilliantly. The guests are top quality, I love Bob Mortimer in the mix as well. My son and his wife saw Lee at an hotel recently, he kindly had a selfie with both of them. Sadly I missed out. Maybe I’ll see David somewhere. Great show, always cheers you up even if you don’t watch it and just listen to them. Keep these series running, it’s hilarious. xxxx 😁💕

[@willhunt6897]

I’ve seen sooo many WILTY comps at this point in which many of these clips have appeared, but this might be one of the best themes for a compilation I’ve seen! Hilarious 😂

[@dropzoneau8632]

This show rocks!! No other words needed.

[@jackwes00]

The comedic effect exchange was amazing😂😂😂

[@Manatee724]

I love Judge Rinder. He just seems like a wholesome and fun dude.

[@peaceman97amd97]

Lee trolling David on his middle class status gets me all the time

[@1JOE4U]

the american useage of "rubber" changes the story and reaction drastically

[@ItsBread-y6y]

yes exactly, i was so confused as to why no one was making a joke about it

[@theo1856]

like a condom

[@jessicawenger7959]

I was shocked by his statement until I remembered the British meaning of rubbers. Whew! 😂

[@paranatural]

The idea of having a friend clean yours for you....and the fresh smell

[@DD-wd7ku]

My Aussie soon-to-be wife had the same problem in the UK when asking in the staff room if anyone had some Durex (which was a brand of sticky tape in Australia). 😂

[@daisy4866]

Oh thank you so much for showing this. I get the feeling there was quite a rescue job with the actual film which made it even more special. ❤

[@adamcummings20]

"WE USED TO MAKE STEEL"

[@NicolasMogensen]

Apart from all the regular hosts, captains and high profile guests, I've always had a soft spot for Claudia WInkleman. She is so deceptively good at this game that she frequently fools everyone on set and everyone watching from home. In hindsigt, after watching the Tortoise Yoshi again, you do kinda feel she's piling it high but I remember when I saw it the first time, she absolutely nailed it and not a single person watching thought it WAS actually her pet.

[@dallaswood142]

I laughed a little too hard I had to remember that rubber means two different things from the UK to the US

[@SnailSnell]

I think the slang term means the same thing? I’m from the uk and it means condom, I thought it was the same in the US!

[@amandainsa1048]

Greg Davies' "UhVEGtabuls"/Field Trip Anecdote 🤣🤣🤣

[@GingerCC-he8be]

One more watch and I will be able to recite each clip from memory, yet I still laugh😂

[@meinenklinke]

5:19 When I was young and couldn’t cry on command yet I used altoids to make myself cry to try and get a college math grade raised. It was successful. Very painful rubbing altoid in your eyes. Don’t do that. Unless you need to cry, then do do that. Needed glasses for the first time that year. Related? Maybe? Who knows? I’m not an eye scientist.

[@superscope27]

WILTY channel. Thank you so much for uploading 2+ hour long videos. You are the best.

[@vickywitton1008]

I used to do plastic work at school. I think it was short lived!

[@NicolasMogensen]

"I am of course thrilled to remake the acquaintance of eh,,, yeah,," David Mitchel never gets not funny.

[@greenie2390]

Ohhh! Good for Lee at about 1:46:00 as that was such a catty comment that one lady said to the Caprisun mom.

[@susi-emily]

More so than the catty queen down the end and the "how sympathetic was this lighting" quip?

[@daniellemurphy9755]

LMAO, I'm an American and one of the nicknames for a condom is a rubber so i had to listen to the story for a few mins like this 🤨🤔 because surely he wasn't talking about rubbers as in condoms...

[@nekomochi486]

I love the 3 deductive theories over Miles' cat story. Lee: The truck driver was distracted by Miles' cat face paint that ended up killing the cat which was also distracted by the painted face. Ed: Miles killed the cat and adopted it's likeness. David: There was a hit out on Miles with the description that he's painted as a cat but the poor cat ended up the victim.

[@HampsteadOwl]

It's a good thing Balding wasn't on the show that week. They would have needed to take her out in an ambulance.

[@artursandwich1974]

I've got to praise Bryden on these alliterative summaries.

[@will9523]

The two hour length is great. Play to my sloth content creators, play away.

[@thavith]

Vegetables... Best one for me

[@c_a_l_l_a_n]

As an American... The Cleaning Rubbers section was extra funny 😅

[@NotDone-bt2hz]

I love this guy's smile!❤

[@travelwell6049]

24:53 We had slide open windows at my school that opened completely.

[@trevorwaters4591]

Great! Thx.

[@allafleche]

The story at 16:00 i find particularly shocking, this guy is a pure bully

[@lobsterstink]

The Pied Piper of Literacy 😭

[@kribz4576]

That chris is hilarious

[@RinZ3993]

With the first one about the goalie falling asleep they should've gone: it's true but he just doesn't remember cuz he was asleep 😂

[@roderos]

Took me a while he was talking about an eraser, I was thinking something else😂

[@thrilhous]

2:00:43 It appears these are the teeth Rhod Gilbert kept referring to on Taskmaster. He seems to have got them sorted out by the time he presents the vegetable story.

[@FenceThis]

there are quite a number of stuff locked up in cupboards incidents

[@Nyro254]

I was sold on that Philly lie 😲

[@txxxx0]

It was the way he’d voluntarily give details and tell the story. I’m honestly convinced the lie was only the fact that he fell asleep

[@AdelineTeoh105]

"Well we're all BAFTA-nominated."

[@skaughtsavage]

As a North American... the term "rubbers" means something very different. I was so very confused at first.

[@musicloverlondon6070]

😊Most people in the UK are aware of the different meaning but can't be bothered to say 'Eraser'; it just feels like one syllable too many. A similar miscommunication occurs with US/UK usage of 'Fanny'.

[@bc4yt]

And now all Robert's accounts are hacked 😂

[@timtrainor9720]

Kirsty Young is magnificent, with a golden voice.

[@jarlamtoft2307]

What does she mean “onions have that shape”, does it not occur to her that it would have been chopped onion?

[@Sufi7]

I don't think she had chopped onion in her pocket, it's enough to have a half of onion.

[@lgtbqisapsyop]

Knowledge of your ability to lie may determin if your a psychopath

[@rrahmanov]

Do you need rebooting? 😂

[@dirtrider88]

i wish when it was true there were follow up questions. once you know somethings true theres so many more questions.

[@matthewkemmer]

help an american out at 30:00 : what the hell is a rubber to a british person?

[@helpinghand123]

Eraser. The thing at the end of a pencil but they also come as tiny blocks

[@snoason1930]

​@@helpinghand123dude that was fucking hilarious

[@megbernstein8452]

Same here!

[@akshaydarekar1991]

59:32 what song was Rob talking about?

[@Udders666]

Sounded like "Crazy in Love" to me.

[@josemaria8177]

Listening to these stories you'd think that british schools would be the funniest place on earth

[@TheModicaLiszt]

They are, school is just bants

[@karry299]

That must be why Britain is going to hell in a handbasket. The teachers are useless morons like Greg and that indian-slash-black dude. Not that i'm complaining, UK has deserved to be put on her knees for a long time, it's been a long wait.

[@akgoesdroning]

Pure bants

[@invincibleajay]

Yes they are. I had the best time at school, so many stories like this. Some teachers were awesome and some we took the mickey out of. Pure laughs.

[@ripdbtpoo1441]

Is "bants" just the word "banter" for lazy people ? We really are sliding towards Orwell's Newspeak, aren't we ?

[@Starchild42]

First time I've seen Ade since Rik passed...love them!!!😜😜

[@Grail-md5er]

hahaha this bloody teachers!!!

[@susiehenders]

WEGETABLES 😂

[@jonhayes7322]

Re David staying in his American accent, Hugh Laurie has had to have a dialect coach to revert back to an English accent after speaking intensely in an American accent for a protracted period of time!!!

[@DavidCS1990]

I can’t believe James had to take abuse about sleeping in a bush off a man who paid someone to clean his rubber 🤦‍♂️

[@karenbell7217]

Your work is beautiful to me, you're helping me focus on self care and reassuring me that we can all connect to the angels - I will definitely try the manifestation technique! Thank you ❤

[@OGU44]

how the hell is this uploaded 12 seconds ago yet there is two week old comments

[@tonycapri2608]

Slow Internet!

[@coreyblakee332]

What is the full clip of this?

[@BlunderDifflin]

Any other Americans here confused on what exactly he means by “rubbers?” 🤷🏻‍♂️😆

[@jonathantruong7069]

Erasers

[@staomruel]

I'm Dutch and I was actually horrified until they gave enough context. They're talking about erasers.

[@staomruel]

He means ERASER.

[@failuretolaunch4571]

I know I am repeating the obvious here (like a recorded dictaphone), But Bob is the best guest.

[@DanielPendery]

I grew up in Leicestershire, pukka pies were in all the chippies. They were always gruesome, nasty, full of crap. I hate Greggs, but their steak bake is much better than pukka. Having said I’d never pay for a steak bake again. They’re both utter poo, hardly any meat, lots of shite filler, upf crap.

[@susi-emily]

Pukka Pies are the best pies.

[@nunyanunya4147]

google didnt help... whats a smurf? guessing its a food or drink. maybe an icecream? again. google did not help :P

[@susi-emily]

Literally the first thing that comes up is what smurfs are.

[@nunyanunya4147]

@@susi-emily thanks for not helping and misuse ov literally...

[@Fluddi]

@@nunyanunya4147a little blue figure based on the old Comics about the Smurfs. They wear a white hat and white trousers, except for the old Smurf, he wears red trousers and a red hat. Oh and the girl wears a white dress and white shoes

[@nunyanunya4147]

@@Fluddi ok. so its not a Britishism. Smurf is Smuf. thought it could be a special bisket or other type of snack we don't get in the states

[@PhilipTeare]

Quote is pretty close: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bojJg5ake5mckKssi=CQq9jAiMVP6fBHa-&t=93

[@GAGL.Evolution]

I'm going Eastwoods Clint Eastwood's

[@jonhayes7322]

Lead? Try graphite…

[@kellyhartley2693]

I think this a bit iffy. I understand weed is legal in California but it is not legal everywhere. People still go to gaol for possession of the devil's lettuce.

[@huskyman1061]

1000 liker

[@kitbag9033]

Dan, for clarification, you have addressed your own educational background, but we do not know whether you have children and, if so, what their educational circumstances are. I think it may be helpful for your viewers to understand that.

[@FetidPhlesh]

Jenna's a babe.

[@hotwheels1112]

That was a terrible Dublin accent

[@jessbarnes8521]

It would be too painful to rub stinging nettles on your face and very unattractive.

[@helloserena]

Is the audio out of sync for anyone else?

[@staomruel]

I'm halfway through and haven't noticed any delay yet.

[@betbinch]

Who told Susan Calman she was funny

[@PetroicaRodinogaster264]

There is not a lot of difference in height between Rob and Rod Gilbert. Why people’s height, size or any physical difference is used as a source of jokes is beyond me. Half of our mental problems stem from being teased. Anyone who disagrees…sorry if I offended your half a brain.

[@susi-emily]

Lighten up, dear, it's called a joke.

[@MaxStArlyn]

51:20 Ghaaaaiiiiiiii

[@donaldcampbell3043]

She is pretty... it doesn't seem right

[@BenjaminGoose]

Yeah, Jo Brand is gorgeous.

[@staomruel]

​@@BenjaminGoose😂😂😂😅

[@Gerard-Fisher]

Like all good things, this TV show will one day come to an end. I for one, will be devastated.

[@agentXphoenix]

Well that was... underwhelming. At first I thought they were only going to celebrate my least favourite Pixar films... But at least the Incredibles, Miguel, and Monster's Inc wer kind of represented. You could do a lot better, Disney!!!

[@AKAten4]

Pitty that Lee breaks character from time to time and Mr. Entitled Showbiz comes out. When he piped down Patrick Kielty, it was out of order. Although seemingly in jest, it was anything but. It was an assertion of dominance, of im the big shot comedian here boy, you'll speak when it's your turn and certainly not when IM GIVING MY 'OFF THE CUFF 'improv' THAT IVE SPENT ALL NIGHT LEARNING