a naughty or nice christmas 🎁 1 800 Drama Podcast | Reddit Stories AITA

[@ErisIsAnAbomination]

“Aha, I’ve pegged you!” “…oh, okay-“ Never change, Jamie and Shaaba 😂

[@mjan3906]

There was literally a case where a girl came home late and her mom wouldn't let her in, she was then kidnapped and murdered by a serial killer couple. Please don't leave your kids outside

[@MarchingGhost13]

It was the Barbie and Ken killers right?

[@talon_craft4734]

I know this story well. As an adult, I became friends with one of the people Leslie had been out with. The mother was forever devastated by her choice 😢

[@Mariethechaotic]

Omg, I just wrote a comment about that.

[@CoMorbiditty]

@@talon_craft4734 Really??? Omg how horrific

[@mousestripedgrass2123]

😮

[@shaaba]

happy holidays peaches! 🎄🍑✨

[@claudiamcfie1265]

All the best wishes to you and Jamie!

[@dariadaniellemusic]

Happy holidays! These videos are the highlight of my Mondays, thanks Shaaba :)

[@Spiderzach13]

Happy holidays Shaaba and Jamie! FYI, Parmesan cheese is vegetarian, but it isn’t vegan. 37:26

[@CiaranOCearnaigh]

Thx to you jamie and queer youtube as a whole for being supportive I came out to my parents today and I can’t stress how much this web of support means to me even digitally luckily my parents are supportive but it was still stressful and I found it pretty freaking scary

[@I-like-ponies]

Happy holidays shaaba ❤️⛄️ (and jamie too)

[@the1silentgirl]

Just a suggestion: Would you be able to link the stories you react to in the description? I would like to see if there are any updates after the episode in case they weren't there during filming

[@blaireshoe8738]

This is a really great suggestion, would love to see it implemented!

[@jdjstay7342]

Great idea

[@5210smile]

Yes, please!!!

[@eline.de.allerbeste]

Yes, great suggestion! I always love going to the stories to see if there are updates when I watch another channel that does reddit stories and where the links are usually in the description, and would love it if I could that here too :)

[@rat3015]

its a neat idea but id worry about people that are diehard fans going and commenting on the stories if theyre that easily accessable

[@emo-slime-mold]

38:25 if your Christmas is ruined for lack of a ham, either the rest of the day is awful or you need to reevaluate your measure of success.

[@claudiamcfie1265]

16:24 i think Jamie makes an important point here: some poeple are actually making themselves a martyr as a form of attention seeking.

[@KatjeKat86]

I swear some people thrive on complaining

[@savyjett]

Especially if you’re complaining to the gift receivers about how much of a financial strain it is.

[@Imjustkendall]

ONE HOUR??? We’re being FED today

[@shaaba]

bon appetite cutie!

[@eleanorwillow9671]

To be fair, finished basements in the US just look like a living room or bedroom. "Finished" means they put in insulation, drywall, etc., and made it look like any other room in the house. They're quite nice, not creepy.

[@katrinadaly1755]

Oh my gosh as a non-American I always assumed a finished basement meant the concrete was ‘finished’ smooth not left rough and uneven. I have no idea why I always thought this since my entire experience of America comes from Tv Series and Books but for some reason I just always assumed that’s what a finished basement meant when I heard people say that… I honestly always pictured a basement with smooth concrete walls and wasn’t sure why people seemed to be so much more excited about them than ones with rough walls but this makes a lot more sense now!

[@savyjett]

Yes, i dont know what shaaba is picturing a finished basement to be like, but i dont think its what most US finished basements are. Definitely would be fine sleeping in a finished basement. Some are even rented out as apartments.

[@Link-dx1lx]

That is good context. I had no idea what "finished basement" was supposed to mean

[@CoMorbiditty]

Yes no chains, moss or dripping water lol

[@allanfelipe766]

About the vegetarian Christmas food, I think it's so weird that the family expected meat dishes. My sister is vegan. Every time my sister hosts family gatherings (including Christmas), it's the other people who bring their meat dishes, because nobody expects her to cook meat. Also, everybody can eat vegetarian/vegan food (except for allergies and stuff), and it is delicious. There's no need to complain 🤷

[@marley7659]

Yeah. It’s like Christians expecting Jewish people to serve pork. Like this is a core part of their life. Why do you think they would go back on their ethics/moral system?

[@KatjeKat86]

Also isn't it mostly about the sides anyways. Sides and desserts were always the most important thing I swear in my family and they liked meat. And when I was vegetarian for almost 20 years I never felt deprived at a single dinner there were so many things to eat. It might be hard on vegans but some of my good friends in college were vegans and we had incredibly good food, just a little different. We used to do potluck house parties and I used to make sure everything I made was vegan so that everybody could eat it.

[@rage_of_aquarius]

​@@KatjeKat86sides are all fine and good, but that's only when the main feature is sub-par. Turkey or ham never excites me anyway, but I'll enjoy the former with gravy and the latter in small quantities. But every year my aunt makes a giant prime rib slathered in herb butter, and I tell you, if that was the only thing at the entire party that was edible, I'd be perfectly happy.

[@rage_of_aquarius]

It is pretty wild that they just assumed she would cook meat, especially when she didn't even want to host. You should never complain about the food someone else prepares for you when you are being hosted for free, if you can't eat it, just don't. It's only a few hours. I just want to note that vegan food isn't just something "everybody can eat" just because it has no religious/moral restrictions on it. I'm autistic and have a very sensitive palate, I can't eat any greens or cooked veggies without becoming nauseous and only have a few select raw vegetables that I can tolerate. I wouldn't bitch about it, but it would be an incredibly depressing holiday if there was nothing that wasn't utterly repugnant to eat.

[@animeartist888]

In reverse- I'm vegetarian, but none of my family or in-laws are. Any time we go to visit someone else's home, I would NEVER expect them to cook things completely vegetarian for me. And I would certainly never stand over a table with a ham on it and exclaim about how it was ruining Christmas because they cooked something they like to eat! Any time my family express concern about having an option made specifically for me, I'm touched, but I tell them it's unneccessary. If you're going out of your way to make a home-cooked meal, I'm gonna shut up and eat it (so long as there are no allergies of course).

[@MarchingGhost13]

The scary thing about the one with the 16 year old being stuck outside…it’s dangerous. Anyone could have seen them and done whatever.

[@chrisschu9953]

Actually who cares about one hour late, for me it's the ten missed calls. He could have had an accident or something. My rule would be, if you are late call as soon as you notice and give me a heads up. I will come and get you, just don't let me sit at home worrying. And locking kids out of the house is a total overreaction. You were worried he was out late so you extended that time by 8 hours? Where's the logic?

[@Kangamoos]

I'm genuinely shocked some people can't go one meal without meat. Not even a day. Just. One. Meal.

[@mysha4381]

my brother will not try new foods if he knows there isn't meat in them. i've been (unsuccessfully) trying to get him to try my fav (vegetarian/vegan) foods that i'm certain he'd like for years now! but the barszcz (beet soup) that's traditionally made fully vegan, he has no problem with (because he's never considered the fact that it's vegan, maybe?) i find it really strange how some meat eaters operate tbh

[@LettiKiss]

Exactly! As someone who's vegetarian and also celiac (so no meat and gluten), I never understood why ppl have issues with the food I have/cook. Bro, you can go a meal without meat or gluten, but I can't eat them at all! The gluten is medical, and meat is simply that I grew up vegetarian, and I feel sick and nauseous from even the smell or sight of meat. I couldn't put it in my mouth without vomiting. So yeah, no meat in my place, and if you don't like it, you can leave!

[@hellochildren3780]

Yeah it's a little weird to me. Like, pasta exists? Just olive oil and garlic is all I need

[@xtrff2024]

And those same people are probably thrilled to go out for a pizza every once in a while with zero stress due to lack of animal carcasses in their meals. Some people are super emotional about their access meats

[@no-one.in.particular]

It's weird- but to be fair people that haven't had good vegetarian food are often quite reluctant to give it a go and people can be quite ritualistic about holiday things. I don't know how to cook meat so I always warn people that if they ask me to cook that it will be vegan or I need help so no one dies from food poisoning

[@Invisiblegirl109]

I have a 7 year old and an autistic 5 year old, they both know better than to open other people’s presents. If either of them did this they would have to wait till the next day to open their presents and help rewrap the presents they opened.

[@aliflanagan7669]

Every child is different. I'm not saying the kid was right to open the presents, obviously, but just because your kids are well behaved doesn't mean everyone's are! 😂

[@kokaykay]

What a terrible parent to make their kid sleep in a treehouse overnight. But also why doesn't the 16 year old have a key to the house they live in? That's a big issue too.

[@s.a.4358]

I get the impression that OP is not an easygoing as they think they are.

[@fallenking578]

People forget you can freeze to death i guess. I'd never forgive my parents if they made me sleep outside

[@Kimshu6]

My siblings stayed out later than they were supposed to and did things they weren't supposed to a lot when they were younger and my mom always made it clear that she does not APPROVE of things like drinking under age for example but to PLEASE call her, no matter the time of night, if you need help getting home. She was pissed about it a few times but wouldn't say so while driving. They would always have a conversation later, and she'd always say she was glad they called. My mom is such a better example of how you handle the situation than the one in the story. Be disappointed, talk about it later, but express that you're glad they're safe.

[@LouiseHultcrantz]

Right? He must have left it at home for the night. I had a key to the house at 11 as soon as I was allowed to walk home from school by myself. But maybe there are always parents at home when he gets home from school or he's home schooled so he doesn't need his own key

[@anacsadder]

Sandra's complaints about her credit card bills were thinly veiled bragging about how much labor and loss she goes through to get all those presents for people. She wanted OP to treat it like a sacrifice to be admired, not a problem to solve.

[@dagmarland]

That makes sense. That's also terribly dysfunctional.

[@Link-dx1lx]

Oh my god I didn't even think of that! That both makes sense and is also sooo annoying

[@zZizify]

Shaaba reading out the vegan menu, with Jamie giving out one word opinions on each thing is *chef's kiss*

[@elfenkinderundschattenwesen]

*vegetarian :)

[@annabrown3337]

55:53 strict parents! 11 is nothing... I came in at 3 at his age, got the "we were worried about you" speech, then we all went to sleep, was never mentioned again and didn't do it again

[@CoMorbiditty]

When my ASD kiddo is out, they never tell me for how long or when to expect them back, every time. But, I do message them to ask if everything is okay and they know to call to be picked up.

[@robnessvic]

Very true, Shaaba! It’s very important to speak to kids about why they acted out. My little sister got into trouble at school for stealing her classmate’s rare Pokémon cards and ripping them up. Turns out he had been bullying her and bragging about his expensive Pokémon cards. This helped my parents understand but also explain why it wasn’t the right thing to do.

[@nanardeurlambda]

35:45 PLOT TWIST!!!!! I love how Jamie and shaaba spent so much time arguing on how much that family was "the drama" and much op could have a sliver of responsability in the situation, only for that last piece of info to throw all the nuance out the window!!!

[@RedDeadSakharine]

The 16 y.o. stuck outside probably spent all night shivering and crying. No wonder he then slept all day afterwards. Horrible parenting! This is both physical punishment and a form of torture.

[@Rachelhappyface]

Totally agree with you guys on the meat one! My auntie and her (grown up) children are vegetarian, but my parents and I, and my auntie’s children’s partners and kids eat meat. My auntie always hosts Christmas and so that she doesn’t need to cook meat, we cook the meat at my mum’s house around the corner and take it round, which my auntie is completely happy for us to do, but if she wasn’t we would absolutely just eat the vegetarian alternatives. My boyfriend and his entire family are also vegetarian and I would NEVER expect to be served meat at their house.

[@xtrff2024]

About the drunk driving, it’s not only the people in the car who are placed in danger but also everyone else you cross paths with during the drive, pedestrians, cyclists, cars etc. considering others might be drunk too it’s too many people with slow reflexes and the probability of an accident grows exponentially. No one’s feelings of inadequacy or whatever are more important then people’s safety. Happy holidays! Be safe and merry ❤❤

[@CoMorbiditty]

Spot on. Ive known of many people's lives taken by drunk drivers... run over on the side of the road, or in their car (car accident) or, in a golf cart, bike, shop front. Where ever these DUI people lose control of a vehicle, because of impairment, that's when they unalive someone.

[@claudiamcfie1265]

My MIL never understood my children, and would always give gifts that weren't what they were into. Like pink frilly "girly" floral things for my daughters that were not interested in traditionally "feminine" things. I taught my kids "she's doing her best and she just doesn't get it. We stay polite and thank her nicely, but don't need to use the things we don't like".

[@KatjeKat86]

That's a very healthy attitude hopefully you can return those things and get your kids something they actually like, maybe make it part of the tradition that you go to the store and return it and then pick out something you really like. If you wanted to do a petty hint to their grandmother you could always have them write thank you with the toy that they picked out instead of the one she gave afterwards.

[@CrystalSki67]

True, but the op needed 2 CARS to bring all these unsuitable gifts home and only brought it up BECAUSE the MIL was complaining about the cost if buying gifts. That's beyond how long I'd be able to stay quiet. A few things is literally not a problem, my sister is kinda that way

[@saraviegas2141]

Or you could just return it

[@CoMorbiditty]

@@CrystalSki67 Its the martyr thing. Why buy all those things if it leaves you broke? In other words she was lying and could afford it.

[@jessicaroses9831]

I despise White Elephant exchanges, I can’t lie. Maybe it’s my particular neurodivergence, I just don’t find them fun at all and they stress me out so much. I still end up with crap I don’t want in my house, I’d rather do a secret santa or something.

[@Ray-hk1zm]

This is probably because I'm in a friend group with a bunch of artists, but we've made a tradition out of a creative Secret Santa where we each draw/make/write our person something instead of just buying, and it's been the loveliest thing ever. Definitely my favorite holiday tradition.

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

I've never known anyone have them but I think I'd just decline to take part 😆 it sounds extremely stressful to me, especially the gift swapping version. I'd never want to take something off someone else 😦

[@starparodier91]

Ham is typically what is served in the US for Christmas, though there’s regional differences, etc. Though I can’t imagine being so offended by… a lovely meal that doesn’t include meat??? People can be so weird 😂

[@KatjeKat86]

When I was a kid and my mom and dad hosted family Christmas and my aunt had a complete breakdown because we had turkey instead of ham because that was my mom's family tradition. People can be really weird sometimes. I personally love my mom's response which was if you really wanted ham you could have brought it yourself. My aunt was known for not bringing anything to the family dinners when usually everyone brought some type of food to help out the person who was making most of the dinner.

[@rage_of_aquarius]

​@@KatjeKat86we all bring something too, and my parents become sous chefs at my aunt's house every year (they owned a restaurant before they got married, so they have plenty of experience and are always tapped at family gatherings lol). It's weird to show up to a meal-centered party without a contribution unless you're destitute. I always found it interesting that most US holidays have assigned foods, but there are several potential main dishes for Xmas. Like, Thanksgiving has turkey, Easter has ham or lamb, St. Paddy's day has corned beef, but Xmas could have turkey or ham or goose or roast beef. Probably has to do with early immigrants celebrating differently. Roast beef is my favorite traditional meal, though.

[@starparodier91]

@@rage_of_aquarius My dad is from Slovakia where traditionally it’s carp, but we’ll usually do a bit of salmon and lots of stews. We rarely have guests since it’s just my parents and I, but if we do we’ll usually go for a ham. I lived in Japan for six years and I miss my KFC dinner that I had to order months in advance 🤣

[@cassandramarin4547]

Just wanted to add for the non-US viewers, I think the main reason turkey is less common for Christmas is because turkey is usually served at thanksgiving in late November

[@alexf225]

In Poland for example we have no meat at Christmas Eve (besides fish that almost nobody eats anyway) so it's always a bit weird to me when people eat meat during Christmas but I get it, different traditions etc. However, do people in US not bring food to gatherings? It's somehing you usually do especially when someone hosts a big event. Someone should just bring a ham if that is so important to them.

[@DryPaperHammerBro]

"Am I the asshole for not wanking for Xmas" would be SUCH an interesting AITA story, ngl

[@SuperVanessa97]

My parents ALWAYS locked the living room door on Christmas to take away the temptation for anyone to go downstairs early. It’s one of my favourite memories, all of my siblings and I going together to wake our parents so we could all go into the living room together. Sally and brother need to get over themselves and just lock the door

[@neo-cb9lc]

a one hour long vid? merry christmas indeed! happy holidays everyone 🎉

[@localbirodemi]

As someone who was a problem child (and am a bit of a problem adult), I can tell you that the trust that the teen had for their parents is now gone. Maybe not completely, but it's definitely gonna take a lot of work to undo that. Why is me being a former problem child important? Because the christmas before I turned 11 (I turn 21 February 2025) I had a massive fit (many years later revealed to be an autistic meltdown) and my mother chose to throw me outside in only my nightgown in -15°C (5°F). I stood outside for around an hour screaming for her to let me in. Luckily it wasn't the entire night, but that day has never left my mind and my trust in my mother and stepfather has never and will never be the same. They laugh at me to this for screaming for help, not thinking about how damaged my mental health has been since. Be good to your kids, they're living beings who deserve love and not abuse. If your kids cut contact, as I will when I move out, reflect upon your past actions. One moment for you is every day for them.

[@Mx-Alba]

The vegetarian christmas dinner one is just bonkers. I'm the only vegan in my family. When I have people over for dinner, they know they will be getting vegan food - and generally they love what I cook for them and are amazed at how good vegan food can be. And when I'm over at a family member's place for dinner, they make sure there's something vegan for me to munch on - it may not always be as fancy as the meat option, but that's fine by me, it's great that they respect my dietary restrictions. (Though there are some flexitarian family members too who tend to skip the meat as well when a good vegan option is available - and my being there ensures that such an option is available for them to enjoy too.) In fact, just tonight we had our family christmas dinner at my sister's place and it was amazing.

[@katieowlpower]

Same here! Some family members have shifted and eaten less meat because of seeing my food options, but I’m the only committed full vegan. I don’t cook anything not vegan, and people don’t expect that of me. I don’t expect everyone to drop meat and not include it if I’m not hosting. If people want to bring something not vegan, they can do so, but have to take any leftovers. Often my family will just join me in having vegan food, and there is always something for me at family gatherings. It’s just respect all ways.

[@marieugorek5917]

as a former omnivore, I make sure to serve a variety of protein dishes that are not even supposed to mimic meat, because that's not remotely equivalent. But entire family in law, in my opinion, has just uninvited them from any of your celebrations until FIL at least has apologized. Wow! Yes husband! Bare minimum award, but award!

[@marieugorek5917]

also, I do hope husband followed up with, "well, next time my wife makes a suggestion, you should listen, because she knew where you wanted to eat today better than you did."

[@marieugorek5917]

oh, wow. they apologized. Yay! your husband comes from good stock. maybe not deep thinkers, but good stock!

[@OverlordWeasel]

The mom in the first story is just like my mom...but in a competitive way. She's quite the impulse buyer, so when she see's something someone "will like" (particularly me because I live with her), she'll usually buy it. The problem is the she doesn't want to 'lose' when it comes go gift giving. She also equates size to price, so last year when she saw a large gift box from me to her, she immediately said, "Oh wow. You spent a lot on me. I need to get you more things." She then did just that. She went out and bought some rather cheap "junk" that I had no place to put nor actually liked any of it. If it was a one off thing, I'd have no problem with it. But she does this all the time. She just can't be seen as being the 'lesser' gift giver. And if you ever have a less than thrilled expression when you receive something, she takes offense. "It's the thought that counts" yeah, but when like in the story, it takes multiple car loads to get things home, then it's not about the thought is it?

[@ShanRenxin]

"It's the thought that counts" only applies if actual thought went into the gift

[@whoknows719]

I have made it very clear to everyone in my life that I don't care to give or receive gifts. I have stopped buying gifts entirely, my best friend isn't big on gifts, neither is my partner. My family are big gift giveres but they don't buy nearly as much as before. The holidays are so much less stressful for me now.

[@GwenSerenity]

29:01 my thinking is that it’s entitled to expect a specific menu item from a host when that was never communicated. What is op was not a vegetarian but had made turkey instead of ham? It would have been entitled for someone to then ask “where’s the ham?” If I were hosting a holiday meal I would have reached out to get an idea what to make so I think it’s a bit strange that OP didn’t. I still think it’s extremely entitled to go to someone else’s home and expect a specific menu item that you had not communicated to them before hand.

[@danitini14]

When Shaaba kept insisting that OP should have told them, from the beginning that it would be vegetarian, I had feelings. The family knows OP is vegetarian, it honestly should be assumed that the meal would be veggie unless otherwise stated - but more than that, I can absolutely see multiple people in the family trying to force OP to cook meat the same way they forced OP to host when they didn't want to. So no, I don't think OP should have had to say the meal would be vegetarian upfront.

[@marigo5951]

I love white elephant! In Germany we have a tradition of “Schrottwichteln“ which means the gift is some weird stuff/“garbage“/ funny present. The best part is getting to know the story behind each gift❤

[@KatjeKat86]

I despise white elephant for the same reason so many people like to give away garbage like it's funny it's not it's garbage and it's disrespectful to give it as a gift. Now if it was an actual like a gag gift that would be fine but I've done too many of them in my life where that's what I did and then proceeded to receive broken garbage. I would much rather do a gift exchange where we had a low limit like 20 bucks and everyone needed to do a nice gift and we did it randomly that would be much more acceptable. I find that the people who want to do white elephant choose to do it because they don't want to put any ever in. I would rather not do a gift exchange then.

[@dragongirl7978]

​@@KatjeKat86Most people I know when they do white elephants do something kind of goofy but also useful. Like one year when I was living in China I did a handwarmer with a silly cartoon animal on it. (p.s. handwarmers are awesome lol)

[@winterkind1772]

I love Schrottwichteln with the right group. I have an amazing christmas sweater from a few years ago and candles shaped like the ugliest trees I have ever seen. I can't light them because they still make me laugh to this day whenever I see them. As long as the gifts aren't literal garbage, I think it can be funny. But I hate it when people try to force you to take part. (Also to add: It's usually stuff you already have. You don't go and buy new things. At least that's how I know it.)

[@melodycuthbert4840]

My oldest was lost in the hospital for 15 minutes once when she was 5. She went off by herself when I was on the phone & didn’t realize that she had left the room. I was on the phone for just over 5 minutes. When I got off of the phone I realized that she wasn’t in the chair that she had been in. So I looked for her while immediately calling hospital security. While I was on the phone with them she happened up to the security desk to ask for help because she was lost. She had her state ID (with a picture) pinned to the inside of her collar. They were of two minds about whether or not it was a good idea. But it was very helpful for having her returned in a timely fashion. I asked her why she had taken off. She said that it was because she had wanted to visit the sick people. I cried for a good 10 minutes. She didn’t get a spanking. She got a lecture. A reminder of why we used to use the leash was all that it took to secure a genuine promise of changed behavior that has remained successful to this day.

[@Cutuchara]

When I was little my mom, my sister and I were at the waiting room at an airport, on the way to get there I had seen the bathrooms, so when I wanted to go I just wandered off and went to the bathroom. My mom freaked out. We had suitcases and she had my sister and she didn't know how to go looking for me, luckily for her a family offered to watch my sister and our stuff while she went looking for me. I came back just walking because in my mind I was never lost, but my mom hugged me so hard, it is the only time I remember not being yelled at for doing something and I did end up understanding why it was so dangerous to go to the bathroom alone.

[@Ciara_Turner]

That last one really got to me - I'm someone that ascribes to the "not a drop of drink" for the driver rule, and the bravery that the op had to get in that car is wild. I don't know what the right answer is, but I definitely know they're NTA

[@KatjeKat86]

I'm not a one drop rule for driving the way you are but to me if you've had more to drink than it takes for your body to process it out in the hours before driving, I would never drive and I would not get in the vehicle with someone else. Standard rule is an hour per glass of wine I always give an extra hour personally before I drive so have a glass of wine with dinner wait 2 hours before you drive. I would have stayed at the cousin's personally if dad wasn't willing to hand over the keys.

[@wellingtonsmith4998]

@@KatjeKat86 tot's agree with you both. the only time I went day drinking was at my auntie's with my sis, her kids, and the rest of the fam, I asked my child (17) if they were ok to drive if i had a couple of glasses of wine. that's what happened, I had 2 glasses and was feeling giddy. kid drove us home, safe and sound.

[@bitchenboutique6953]

I agree but I also am someone who (if this happened years ago) would struggle to stand up to my family in that situation. Five years of therapy later, screw them I ain’t getting in the car. 😂

[@elaineb7065]

My father is exactly the same. He likes a drink, but will REFUSE to drive the following day at all; he's that strict about driving with booze in him. I don't blame him either. The current law in Scotland agrees fully with my father too, so there's the legal implications as well as the safety issues

[@leggyegg2890]

I think that’s honestly a really good rule to follow but there’s not enough info to know if OP’s dad was actually safe to drive, there’s a good chance he was, it depends on so many factors (which is why the ‘not a drop’ rule is good). I think it’s a little dramatic to say it takes wild bravery to be driven by someone who’s had any alcohol that day.

[@marieugorek5917]

I think what you have discovered in that fourth one is that one of the adults needs to sleep next to the gifts, so that that adult can get up and redirect the first child while the adults are woken up. also, it may help to start a new tradition and make a big deal about explaining it; in our family, stockings could be opened upon waking, but gifts had to wait until after breakfast. If Mindy (or any other kid) is likely to impulsively rip into new things to entertain herself if she has trouble sleeping, being told "there will be a bag with your name on the table that you can open as soon as you wake up, but you may only open YOUR bag, and then we will all open the presents together. And make sure to use clear language -- if you JUST tell the kids to wake up the adults and DON'T say not to open the presents until the adults are awake, it may not click that the one doesn't mean the other. Additionally, she may well have ADHD or autism. I have no idea how you can know for absolutely certain that she doesn't at age 6. I wasn't diagnosed until age 42, but there were a series of awkward social moments like this when I felt unsafe that contributed to those diagnoses. They really shouldn't discount that possibility -- might be more constructive to document the event in case there are others in the future that might be needed to diagnose neurodivergence or a mental illness.

[@qryptid]

We did stockings first thing too in our neurodivergent household. This year my oldest has decided she wants to "sort" the presents into piles so that's what will keep her busy when she inevitably wakes up before everyone lol. Kids need to be kept busy, because you never really know where kids are at with their impulse control, even with developmentally appropriate expectations every kid is different.

[@elaineb7065]

I was also in a "stockings (or pillowcases) first" home, years before I was diagnosed with autism. We'd have stuff to play with when we woke at zero God forsaken due to excitement, also fruit, nuts, & chocolates to eat along with it, then later we'd get the bigger presents when the adults were awake & we were all downstairs

[@omiai]

On the first one, I've had a sort of similar but not nearly as bad situation. My aunt, whenever she went on holiday, would bring me back a present of a fancy, locally made soap. Which were lovely, but I have an allergy to basically all cake soaps (most liquids are fine). So I wasnt able to use them. So I'd give them to my mum or regift. But eventually I had to say to her 'i really appreciate the gifts, they are so kind, but I've developed an allergy to hard soap, and I'm not able to use them any more' I had been allergic the whole time but I wanted to make out it was a new thing so she didn't feel like she'd been wasting her money or getting me the wrong thing for years :s she took it well, thank goodness!

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

Imagine spending hours roasting and baking rolls from scratch just to be insulted in your own home!!! That makes me so angry!!

[@s.a.4358]

Homemade rolls sound delicious!! I’d seriously not mind eating just that and then some of the pies. Everything OP made sounds delicious, and there was plenty of choice too.

[@adriannegentleman83]

My teenage stepdaughter was late home one night, My husband and I were so worried, this was before cell phones were common, when she finally got home, we were so relieved we just hugged her, yes we growled, but relief was the main emotion. and yes she slept in her won bed that night, any thing else is not safe.

[@angiep2229]

I was raised as a kid that if I'm a guest in someone's house, I eat what they serve. I do not complain. I eat it and I thank them. Now, I think people are a little bit less strict about it than we were when I was a kid, to where I'd feel less bad about only taking the foods that work for me (I have IBS and have learned how to be extremely careful about what foods will set me off) and make a self-depracating joke about how, "That looks delicious, but if I have more than a taste, you really won't want me here in another hour..." So anyway, I find it absolutely astounding that older people, undoubtedly from the "clean your plate" generation, would be so incredibly rude and ungrateful as guests in another person's home. Good on that husband. Other married folks, take note, because you need to stand up for you partner if your parents are treating them badly! I once explained to my husband that I like his parents, but when there is a problem I prefer if he go to them, because ultimately, he's their son and they HAVE to love him, and that's not so much the case with me. Just a thing to keep in mind. Support your partner.

[@whamloverfr]

never clicked so fast! wishing everyone a drama free holidays!

[@ChibiRandom13]

In the second to last one, if OP hadn't called their son and had missed calls etc, I wouldn't consider them the ahole. But bc they fully told their son to sleep in the treehouse which like a commenter said could've been dangerous (its entirely likely it was close to dangerous considering how long son slept when they came in) OP 100% is the ahole. TBH the kids not having a key to the house if they miss curfew is strange to me. Are they always meant to sleep outside if they miss it? It also sets a precedent for the younger kids to expect you to lock them out if they lose track of time or make an honest mistake. OP has overreacted in a way that will forever change their relationship with their kids and I hope they're ready to navigate that.

[@s.a.4358]

It’s the first time the son missed curfew too, so not his habit. My first reaction would be to try to find out what happened. I know the son said he misjudged the time / his watch was set to the wrong time, but that sounds like a weird explanation (not saying it is not true, could be true) and also why did he not answer when OP repeatedly called? I could be projecting but I get the feeling OP is not the easygoing parent they say they are, and the son doesn’t feel like he can be fully honest. If it is the first time the son misbehaves in that way, I’d want to find out what happened, if everything is okay, etc.

[@fallenking578]

Also it's 11 pm. That's a pretty early curfew for someone that age. And why make them sleep outside? Why not just talk to them and come up with a punishment if they did it in purpose? Why did almost freezing to death any kind of punishment? That's insane

[@adrienstarfaer]

37:44 I can attest that green bean casserole is delicious! Actually had an instance where some friends called us for updates on our status on getting to an annual event, because we were late, and everyone knew we were bringing green bean casserole. They called and insisted that they wanted the green bean casserole, which is fair, because my mom's recipe for green bean casserole, for all its simplicity, is really good.

[@qryptid]

I think it's interesting that the fam story had so much back and forth, it feels like accountability and communication are areas where you guys sometimes differ in opinion and because of the nature of AITD in makes for really interesting exchanges. I think Shaaba is just more used to spelling things out and anticipating others discomfort, makes sense with the people pleaser tendencies she's talked about, whereas Jamie is much more aligned with logical assumptions, and then being forgiving/hashing things out after the fact when those assumptions may be wrong. Neither of you is wrong for that, I just find it very interesting and I think it's part of why I like the podcast so much!

[@KatjeKat86]

I also like the fact they're comfortable with not agreeing on something. I've seen other couples do podcasts like this together and it doesn't work because one of them feels the need to please the other person and agree with them. Healthy discussions and not always seeing stuff exactly the same I think is an example of a stronger relationship and the type of people I actually want to listen to their opinions of things.

[@nathryl03]

This is your regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little peaches/spuds, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Stay safe everyone and remember that there are people out here that love you 💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@PlumberryPuppet]

When I get invited to someone's house for a meal, it's extremely rare for anyone to ever mention a menu. I'm so surprised Shaaba experiences everyone to discuss a menu. Maybe it's cultural? I would expect people to mention specific allergies or like a religious diet or a dietary restriction like vegan or vegetarian. But I think most people (rightfully) refuse to discuss menus because that opens things up to people just stating preferences. There are so many people who refuse to eat any and all seafood (as just a preference), and then so many other people who refuse to eat red meat. (I'm a super fussy eater so when I'm invited to someone's house for a meal, I go in expecting to hate everything, but just eat as much as I possibly can but still expect to eat again when I get home.)

[@rage_of_aquarius]

I'm autistic and have a limited palate, so I usually assume the same, but my family has a group chat just for discussing menus for events. My parents were both chefs, my aunt loves to cook, and my Nana is an excellent baker, plus every branch chips in on a dish, so it's good to know who's bringing what and if we'll have enough of everything.

[@PlumberryPuppet]

@@rage_of_aquarius Potlucks are different and definitely need to be coordinated. I'm talking about a dinner party where the host is cooking the entire menu.

[@s.a.4358]

Same, unless it is to offer to bring something and see what would be a good fit. If people ask, I’ll tell them what I will make, or if it’s someone that I know has dietary restrictions I will check to see what they can eat (if I am not sure), but otherwise I think it’s not unusual to not know what to expect when one is invited to dinner.

[@rage_of_aquarius]

@PlumberryPuppet yeah, that feels rude to expect one person to buy and cook for 20 people, and my family isn't rich, so we coordinate sides. It isn't quite a potluck bc my aunt does most of it day of, but we all bring something, even just a dessert.

[@Happy_Face_Studio]

37:38 Actually, it is vegetarian, however it is not vegan. Vegetarian means no meat, therefore meat and seafood is not allowed, but you can eat eggs and dairy because it’s a product of an animal, not the animal itself. Vegan means you can’t eat anything that comes from animal, so it includes meat, seafood, dairy and eggs. So, cheese is vegetarian, but not vegan. Hope this clears this up 😊

[@rage_of_aquarius]

Except true Parmigiana, which includes rennet. Also, most people don't think about it, but honey is also not vegan (which is weird because it's an amazing collaborative process that helps bees).

[@Labrecque-]

​@@rage_of_aquariusThere is a reason we aren't into bee farming, disease spread, gassing, and hive destruction etc it's not all rainbows. We can help bees and other pollinators in much more effective ways without exploiting basically.

[@Happy_Face_Studio]

@@rage_of_aquarius Indeed, I forgot honey! I dont eat it often so that might be why I forgot. Thanks for reminding me.

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

​@@rage_of_aquarius .. ya learn something new every day. (Just googled rennet) In an aside... Do you ever stop to look at our common food making practices and think to yourself.. ok.. but like how in the hell did anyone EVER figure out that the contents of a cows stomach will make ✨cheese✨ ... It's just.. mind boggling to me

[@Juu_de]

There actually more kinds of cheese that are not vegetarian because of the rennet, but theres a lot of cheeses now that have a vegetarian rennet

[@OxyMauron]

So, what I learned from this is to not buy Shaaba any clothes for Christmas, and Jaime can't resist the "pegged" joke any more than I can.

[@wryn.is.trying]

My parents had a very strict curfew for me as a teenager, and while i don’t fully agree with how they handled discipline, they NEVER took away us having a safe place to sleep. Our house was actually open to all our friends too if any of THEM ever needed a safe place to sleep, no matter what time it was! They had to follow the house rules while there, but no one would get sent out of our house unless they had somewhere safe to go and a way to get there. I can’t imagine how betrayed and unloved i would’ve felt if my parents forcibly banned me from the house for a night, especially on the FIRST curfew violation. I hope that parent learns from the comments and stops using dangerous consequences.

[@coasttocoast2011]

I agree the OP in the veggie story story should have said something However I always find it amusing that people think it’s the worst thing in the world to go without meat for one meal or to go without alcohol for one meal

[@rage_of_aquarius]

It's not about the meal, it's about the holiday I go a lot of meals without meat bc it's expensive, so on a holiday I'd be sad to have to go without my favorite part of the meal The family still sucks, but it's about them being a-holes for every other reason

[@Raine_bug]

8:01 my family does this!! we call it the grinch gift, and it's our favorite Christmas game. some fun family competition over gifts can be quite fun

[@yassine8935]

We call it low down dirty shame i think because of the movie i didnt know this game was a global thing and has ben around since the late 1800s i thought my family was unique lol 😂

[@madisongriffin3478]

45:34 when me and my brother were young. Maybe 4 and 6. We opened our own presents without waiting for our parents or grandparents to wake up. We honestly were so excited we forgot. We had all the toys taken away. (This only included the gifts from our parents). We were absolutely beside ourselves but you bet we never forgot to include everyone again. Hope the niece gets an actual consequence

[@Kaleidosaur]

Lol, you two are so cute. The little brownie badge interaction was silly and wonderful.

[@dezy13]

I had to be home at 10PM at his age (11PM if I called earlier that I would be late), my parents would be really worried if I would be more than 15 minutes late and wouldn't pick up or call back immediately. Now that I'm older I do not have a curfew and can stay out as much as I want, I still let my parents know that I will not be back, my parents do the same, it's just like "I will not be back, do not worry", or "I will be home really late, do not wait for me". But honestly I was a few times late without warning them, I was never locked out of the house, even if I forgot my keys, they were still up waiting to open the door for me, because they just wanted to know that I am fine and it was just me being terrible with time management. I'm a winter and cold loving guy, so sleeping outside would not be a problem for me, however it would still give me some kind of "me getting this lesson is more important that me being well" vibe

[@zoubidoubidoubadoum]

I'm sleeping in a new place so I'm a bit uncomfortable but not only is the video itself relaxing me, but also Jamie's outfit looks so comfortable?? That's a random compliment but i feel warm and cosy seeing you guys look warm and cosy

[@naastyaaaaaaaaa]

The fact that the video is extra long and extra festive!🎄🍊🥂 Happy holidays, everyone! Thank you, Shaaba, for brightening up my lonely lethargic dorm days.❤

[@LeahSeabourne]

Can we take a moment to recognise how these two will be the most amazing parents ever

[@Mariethechaotic]

55:43 anyone else immediately think of the woman who did this to her teenage daughter (well, minus the treehouse) and then that daughter went missing? And I think ultimately was murdered? Don't lock your kids out of the house, people.

[@daenerys02]

I love the intro so much 😭 I don't know why but it warms my heart, it's obvious you love each other so much and have fun together

[@Kutie192]

The cat voting on The first story 😂

[@bevishhh]

45:18 it makes me sad that because Mindy explained her reasons she’s seen as not being sorry. It might be the case, but it could also be that she was literally explaining what happened and wasn’t trying to “make excuses”. She might genuinely have wanted to see what everyone got, curiosity got the better of her, and now she is genuinely sorry. It bugs me that we can’t explain without being seen as making excuses. /gen

[@bevishhh]

ALSO the “these kids have ADHD and *they* knew better” got my back up. Kids aren’t all the same! ND kids aren’t all the same! Ugh!

[@laughandsmilexx4342]

Love the longer videos! I really enjoy having these on in the background (still listening) but helps me do the boring adulting tasks like getting ready and tidying and cleaning 😂 particularly since finding out I'm ADHD too! 😁🥰 Also watched both your channels for a few years, really enjoy all the content! Hope you guys have a lovely day!

[@legoman222]

NTD. As part of a family who does the white elephant exchange (for the adults) it can be a ton of fun and sometimes some really thoughtful/funny gifts for the game budget. Also at least in our family the person who drew the #1 spot gets to go first and last to get the gift they want plus, the two steal limit. Lots of great memories

[@rage_of_aquarius]

Yeah, 1st is the coveted spot. We always have fun and useful gifts in our exchange as well as homemade metalwork and woodwork. It takes the gifting pressure off the adults and the kids usually still give individual gifts to everyone.

[@legoman222]

@ homemade gifts are usually the most popular as well as some locally made.

[@somethinunameit637]

37:44 here is my family's (back of the can) recipe for green bean casserole! Note: my family does not measure anything, these are estimated measurements. 1 can (10 oz) of cream of mushroom soup 4 cups of green beans, steamed and chopped (canned is fine) Garlic salt Onion powder Black pepper ~2 cups of French fried onions In an oven safe casserole dish, combine green beans, cream of mushroom and all seasonings to taste. Mix well then flatten the top of the mixture. Bake at 350°F (175°C if we trust google) for 25 minutes. Layer french onions on top of the casserole until you can no longer see the casserole. Bake for another 5 minutes. Then it's done. In my opinion, it goes really well with pork or chicken.

[@rebeccaf.4069]

I'm definitely here for a long video. Honestly, they are your videos, do what makes you happy. I just enjoy watching you guys sort through the AITA shenanigans.

[@kiryanna]

Even if MIL Sandra in the first post has the love language of gift giving, OP isn't saying she shouldn't buy them anything. She could just buy fewer gifts Veggie Christmas dinner sounds amazing. I might be drooling now

[@s.a.4358]

And OP made the suggestion after the MIL mentioned that her credit card bill was a lot, so it wasn’t even a suggestion out of nowhere but also presented in a helpful way after the MIL also expressed an issue.

[@Brassroses]

Not the drama on the first story, I questioned how much getting gifts is a love language for that mother-in-law if she literally just gets everyone identical generic gifts for everything. Second one, also not the drama if you went to someone's house that has dietary restrictions you should not expect them to cook otherwise without specifically asking and confirming that that's okay. If they really have a tradition that there has to be a holiday ham, they should not have asked the vegetarians to host, or made it clear that that is part of the tradition they forced this family to participate in the tradition of hosting, and host normally set the menu. I can't think of a time ever when going to a family holiday that people told us in advance what main dish they were cooking.

[@DoubleGoner]

I somehow managed to listen to every single episode in 2 weeks. This is absolutely my favorite podcast, i love you and jamie’s energy. Excited for the next episode :)

[@cathleenc6943]

One time I was at a christmas party at my in-law's parents house. There was mistletoe hanging from a light fixture in the middle of the room. There was a moment where me and my brother-in-law and some other family members were talking and his aunt looked at us and said "You're standing under the mistletoe, yiu have to kiss." We just said "no" almost in unison. His was so deadpan, she didn't even try to continue, joke, or tease. We didn't even move out from under it right away, lol, we just continued on with our conversation.

[@roselover411]

Mistletoe is a red flag for me. Do not require me to kiss someone because we happen to be near the same doorway. Get right out of here with that. If there is mistletoe in the vicinity i will be hyper aware of it and find every excuse not to be near it

[@Cometsarecool]

My family hangs up mistletoe but doesn't do the kissing thing lol, like it's just pretty imo, no kissing needed

[@blaireshoe8738]

I didn't even realize some folks put it over doorways, ours has always been pretty avoidable-though-central, attached to a fan's pull chains or a light fixture in the middle of the living room, where if you want to avoid it you just path a little closer to the sofa, which doesn't even look odd. That's beside the fact that we also mostly use it as decoration. I think the only ones who kiss under it are my parents, even though we often host extended family, no one expects anyone else to be down for a kiss just cuz they happened to pass under it, and no one would even try with anyone but their partner... and even my parents don't kiss most of the times they pass by 😂

[@mothmanscousin9656]

Ice been in places with mistletoe but ive never been made to kiss anyone, even if i was under it with someone. I would make a massive scene if someone tried, bc i dont like kissing, much less a stranger. I honestly thought it was "if someone catches you with your partner under mistletoe, then they kiss if they want" anything else is just. Bizarre.

[@A_T216]

Thank you both for the extended episode! I hope you're staying warm and eating good food.

[@dp9828]

Loved the longer ep! Can't get enough of you both and the aita.

[@cassidy9604]

In the first situation, I literally brought this up in my family last year. When it was just my generation as adults and our parents, we switched to doing white elephant style holiday presents. But last year there were 2 babies and we were getting presents for everyone (10+ each) and my budget was not happy. I suggested we go back to the white elephant style for adults and then gifts for the (now 4!) kiddos and thankfully everyone was happy with the idea! It is so wild to me that someone would complain about the money and then be offended by the suggestion that they don't need to spend it.

[@Tiarys]

I love the longer episodes! And I'd like to second (or 10th or whatever number I am) the suggestion to link the posts in the description (obv not possible for the Peach submissions, but for the rest). Happy Holidays!

[@Aldersnap]

I am away from my kitty for the holidays and miss her a lot so far, so it really brightens my day to see your Prawn so lively in this episode :}

[@MrFriend97]

the tree house story reminds me of my father’s tantrums during the holidays growing up, but one story from when i was like 16 flooded back to me as i listened to it. this was on new years but the reactions is simular. i have AuDHD and i really struggle with my dad’s needs to suddenly say “ we are leaving now” then in you arent in the car within 2 minutes he will blow a fuse, which is what happened due to my grandmother wanting to chat as i was trying to say goodbye to leave while he was already laying on the horn. so after rushing out the door when my gran finally let me go, he pushed on the gas peddle as i was trying to climb in the backseat (of the “delivery” truck like car we had at the time) and i feel while he drove the car over me foot for not being fast enough. i refused to get in or ever be in a car alone with him since if i could help it. i rather walk 5 km home then be in a car with him.

[@deckofcookiez]

7:59 Ooh I remember playing this kind of thing with my opa’s side of our family once, I successfully stole a cute chalkboard that hangs on your door from my aunt who really wanted it. I still have not used it to this day lmao, little me just really wanted to draw on the chalkboard at the time-

[@-Jari-]

About the white elephant: the term comes from old times in Burma/Thailand, when white elephants were regarded as sacred. If you were gifted a white elephant by a monarch, you couldn't give it away because it was a gift from an important person, you couldn't use it for work or "accidentally" get it killed because it's sacred, so you have to spend a lot of money and space on a gift that is of no use for you. The thing about having to disclose that the food is going to be vegetarian: if they have to mention every time that there is no animal getting k!lled, they could also tell people about their day like that, that they went to the grocery store but didn't rob it, then they went to the park but without m*rdering anyone, etc.

[@Autistic_Goblin]

29:41 hey, I think you're both missing the point - in-laws were just plain rude. IDGAF what is on the menu or what they were expecting, there is no excuse whatsoever for being rude AF. NTA.

[@necr0marker]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL YOU GOOBERS!! this is a great christmas gift thank u shaaba and jamie

[@kalin_tofu6686]

OMG I love love love this super sized episode!!!

[@benjikohoss8069]

Seeing Shaaba tease Jamie's hair so casually is so damn cute

[@hann-pro]

Leaving the child outside at night and in winter is crazy. The person that did it loves their ego more than their son.

[@EmoNightDragon]

Loving the growth moment 🌿 Hoping for no more drama for Rosie ✨✨

[@TheRedPandaQueen]

Happy holidays to you beautiful spuds and peaches

[@serenityacheron]

ahhhhh y'all are too friggin cute! Happy holidays to you both! ❤🎄

[@wuhoho4687]

As someone with the name Mindie, listening to the story from 42:12 was a bizarre experience because of how uncommon my name is hahahaha ive literally almost never heard someone else being referred to with such a name so i found this funny hehe

[@RikouCam]

My family generally discusses the holiday ahead of time. Both just as conversation cause we're looking forward to it but also because we all pitch in and bring a dish.

[@TokeTiger]

An extra long one?!?! Great Christmas present

[@BrigitteDiessl]

The treehouse one was not great parenting. However, from a warmth pov, it might have been in the Southern Hemisphere. It's Summer here. Also, this is a great reason to celebrate on Christmas Eve! Young kids don't wake you up at 5am, Father Christmas fills the stocking overnight and they can open up their stockings when they wake up.

[@alex_blue5802]

We don't know the climate, it's true. But when the son slept all day that should have been a wake up call for OP that he did not get adequate sleep. Instead OP is acting like their son was being lazy.

[@christinakyleloves]

Love you Shaaba!!🩷🩷🍑🍑 Love you Jamie!!💛💛🥔🥔

[@caleighisnothere8884]

i love the longer episodes!

[@brattygrl81]

For the last post, I don't think that it's fair or necessary to ask dad not to drink; as long as he's not a rude, aggressive, or obnoxious person when drinking. However, if dad does enjoy a few beers or cider with the family at holiday celebrations, it is both fair and necessary for everyone to come together and agree on a designated driver for the ride home. I'm not sure what other people do, but this is a custom that has been tried and true in both my family and friend group. Also, everyone with licenses takes turns. Much love peaches and a wonderful winter season to all ❤

[@leobeboop4944]

That jumper/cardigan of jamies looks so cosy

[@Shelindreaire]

Love the long episodes!

[@AesopMain]

Hi! White elephant gifts not really sure but the context behind it? (i believe, this is based of another context i've heard about white elephants) were a gift from a king that were actually usually if he didn't like you, as you couldn't give away a gift from the king and they were SO expensive the person could easily spend all their money on care and resources for the elephant. Anyway it's probably not the context she means but i like fun facts and I think its interesting :3

[@rage_of_aquarius]

That's interesting! I wonder why we call it Yankee swap in New England.

[@shortcake66]

Yes! But now it just means ‘a thing I didn’t want and I’m now burdened with.’ And now we don’t have to literally feed and house an elephant but maybe have to schlep it down to the charity shop

[@makakachaput]

I really like the long episodes!!

[@Ottos9]

Jamie's little photoshopped santa hat is sending me lmao 😭😭😭

[@rage_of_aquarius]

Between money being tight, the holidays being stressful and chaotic, and never knowing what to get, my family decided a long time ago that the adults would do a white elephant exchange instead of individual gifts. We call it Yankee Swap and I never heard all the other names for it growing up. Everybody buys or makes something for less than $30 and it's usually useful stuff like local craft bowls/mugs, camping gear/yard stuff, or some kind of food basket. Sometimes weird stuff makes it in there, like sour hot pickles or a 20cm tall felt rat wearing a santa outfit (we now love the Christmas Rat), but it's great for everyone and totally takes the pressure off gifting. My dad even makes his own gifts in his blacksmithing forge. Meanwhile all the kids get gifts and give gifts to everyone individually. Especially when my aunt's family (my in-laws) joined the mix and neither side wanted to be buying a bunch of extra presents for near-strangers.