A New Approach To Evaluate Men Over 40 For a Fulfilling Life Partnership

[@BernMendez]

Get My Free Training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training

[@luciem5372]

I found my life partner at 62 . Maybe a little later than most people but the right time for me! Everything you say is true. I learned it the hard way.

[@LisaGemini]

I'd say the biggest issue I run into is selfish people. I grew up with selfish siblings, sadly. When I see a man who only cares about his life and his feelings, I run for the hills. I'd rather be alone than with a selfish jerk.

[@PetitHibou72]

It seems amazingly common. I’m finally seeing sooner… and getting out.

[@brandidesso9057]

Agreed 100 percent

[@thecampercook]

For real! I wish I had realized that sooner about the latest guy I dated.

[@cynthiaviar841]

I agree. The guy I am with now used to say pleasing you pleases me. Now he’s all about himself. So, because we have been together for 5 years I am slowly walking away. I’m 62 and he’s 60.

[@busyazn]

Thank you! Assumptions on what women want 1:50 2:30 you prioritize longevity in relationships 2:50seek balance 2:59 seek sustainable passion in life 5:00 5:30 Not having a renewable source of connection. 5:50 you may let intensity blind you. You open your vulnerability before he has earned it. 7:05 not being sharply clear on what you want. 7:50 not seeking clarity on what he wants early on. Is his values compatible to yours? 8:35 not knowing how to bring up challenges in a solvable way What to look for in men 10:20 1. Empathy & kindness leads to compassion, understanding your feelings. Avoid men who can’t empathize or understand others’ feelings. You will be the focus of his wrath one day & he won’t understand why you’re hurt. 11:30 2. Strong focus on health (mental & physical). Generosity in life. 12:40 3. Purpose - does he understand why he’s here & doing something about it. He’s walking toward his purpose. He’s not seeking his emotional void to be filled by you. 14:02 4, Clarity of relationship vision - if he doesn’t know what he’s looking for, don’t date him. Does he know what wants? 15:00 5. Value driven hunger - does he know what he’s working for but not at the expense of his health or spending some time with his loved ones. You want him to have balance. 6. Ability to access polarity 16:00 - has a capacity to access his feminine side

[@Ohkeh640]

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[@heatherheather7107]

Thank you for this. I would add that men in this age range most likely have an ex and they can be the third party in your relationship even if you’ve talked about it. Be careful of how they feel about their ex and what they say.

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for sharing.

[@MindsetMom]

This was so good. Way to teach women how to set the bar high for themselves. Bravo.

[@renzenker2526]

Thank you. Sorry to say divorced men 40-50 are financial disasters and men who never married in the same age bracket just partied on and are financial disasters too.

[@Georgia1981]

my ex falls in this category you mentioned. he cheated on me with a single mother. someone told me that he married this woman and this woman is sending him money since she lives in another country and he is unemployed as he always is. i hope she accepts him as he is because he will never change. he will cheat on her too. poor kids ☹️

[@katharinetaylor9561]

Yep. Most divorces are initiated by women too. I always wonder when I look at a single dad why a woman would break her family up and divorce him? High probability he messed up big time, has addictions or is a narcissist and much more as well as being financial disasters.

[@laundrybasket2689]

@@katharinetaylor9561 Exactly! And women are always getting bashed as being the one who mostly initiates a divorce. But no one ever questions WHY she did it. There’s always a reason and the ones you mentioned are precisely the ones! Sure, every now and then there will be a woman who did the man wrong but mature women in their right mind will always have legitimate reasons in being the one who initiate divorces.

[@bjelfin]

However, being financially successful isn’t everything. My ex was a financial success by anyone’s standard. I always felt a bit insecure in our relationship. I felt cared for, but never cherished. He ended up leaving me after a 21 year marriage. My life partner is educated and held good jobs in the past, but not good with money. However, my relationship with him is the best I’ve ever had. He is a good man - committed, helpful, kind, intelligent, funny, thoughtful (also good looking and younger by 7 years). I feel understood and cherished. However, I’m sure it helped that I reached a point in my life where I was independent and unwilling to put up with anything but love and respect in a relationship. We’ve been together for 10 years now and I know we’ll go the distance.

[@audra1976oliver]

I became a widow at 43. I'll be 46 on May 1st. A much needed video that focuses on my age group. Plus, i have a 12 yr old son with my late husband and that's also a factor in finding a fit. Thank you for thinking of us. I'm currently dating a man that's 40, single with no children. Hoping for a connection for a lifetime. Thanks, Bern.

[@BernMendez]

Many blessings to you and your son. 🙏

[@LeafsIn2025]

Please be careful. Men at 40, no children - may try to bond with your son to get you blinded to what his real agenda is. He could triangulate arguments and passive aggressiveness. Unnecessary drama. Hopefully, it's ok but experience in this twice before says 🚩🚩🚩‼️. Go very slowly, eyes open, and be safe. So sorry for your loss. You've had a difficult time. 🙏 for your and your son's healing. God bless.

[@amyshawgo272]

Hey Bern, out of all the relationship coaches I have seen so far you have got the most genuine, loving and insightful energy. Thank you for sharing your gifts ❤️

[@gma904]

This is probably the best relationship advice video I’ve ever seen. Regardless of age. Thank you Sir.

[@BernMendez]

Thank you so much :)

[@ABa-ve3ul]

Yes because it’s genuine and the basis for a real! connection

[@angelinasamson6996]

Suffering has made me so much more positive, it’s gave me gifts that I cherish ❤️

[@anniemedicalmassage]

My God! This was so incredibly insightful. I was taking notes and everything. Thank you so much for taking the time to thoroughly convey the importance of spotting a high value man.

[@BernMendez]

Glad this was helpful : )

[@jessicaalen3533]

WOW! I'm soo grateful & thankful Bernardo for you & this vid. I made the mistake of investing too many yrs on a man who was selfish, lacked empathy & lacked clarity & purpose + bonus was abusive (physically, emotionally, mentally & financially). It's been a yr since I've been divorced. 3 yrs since I discarded him- I have soo much peace. I'm fulfilling my goals & enjoy the life I live. My quality of life is unbelievable. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I appreciate you very much! 😊

[@BernMendez]

Jessica, I’m so sorry you sent though that experience and grateful you’re doing so much better.

[@moniqueruiz90]

I love what you say about suffering in life. It’s a beautiful way of looking at it. ♥️

[@BernMendez]

Glad you found it useful, Monique.

[@markwatson8185]

This really hit home

[@meganmoses4314]

Such an excellent video, you have such accurate insight into this subject, i have been viewing your videos for a long time and have always appreciated the honesty, fairness and respect you show to both men and women when you discuss relationships. Thank you for your generosity in sharing so much valuable information with us here. 🙏🏻

[@BernMendez]

Thank you so much, Megan for this message. Happy to add value to you. :)

[@mnnew6772]

This helped me understand how bad my x was so I now believe I can get better

[@BernMendez]

Glad this was useful.

[@user-is1pn5yw7i]

Hi Bern. Thanks for always giving us great advice!

[@BernMendez]

My pleasure!

[@blimpified]

bernardo this was healing to hear you say we have enough alpha men who arent also kind and empathic.

[@BernMendez]

Linda, glad this was helpful!

[@imo.124]

This is so good! What you describe is a very healthy, well rounded and a balanced man.

[@mercedezp.6289]

Oh my, that's so much information it's hard to take it in at once. I'm codependent so letting go of men I know are not on the same level nor are a good fit for me is a challenge. Then I crowd the space in my heart and don't let others in. I'm 37 and dating is super difficult. I honestly probably could put in more effort but I'm kinda just going with the flow, or trying.

[@laundrybasket2689]

I’m the same as you.

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

possibly the fearful avoidant attachment type.

[@denzilyn1]

I met a man who is over 45 and he's in the military. He told me he didn't like being questioned. I said to him, "then how am I suppose to get to know you"? He said just by talking to him. I'm planning on stop talking to him. What do you think?

[@lauriepeifer7297]

NEXT!!

[@ABa-ve3ul]

Red flag!He is manipulating/gaslighting you and not genuine. No man with real/genuine intention would say something this disrespectful to a woman. I’d block someone like that, he is hiding things..

[@margaretabuandaway6234]

Run away! I can smell disaster!

[@axelashu]

Men are strange creatures.. if he likes you, he will change. But you can't want to make the connection work... lean back..he might show you who he is is

[@michellebf9585]

Yep stop talking to him immediately. He is emotionally unavailable and he has made that clear. You will only get hurt.

[@ginaurrely5407]

Waoo. I must say am impressed by all these facts you have put out about man. They are wonderful ❤️. I hope and wish all the women watching this video get them as well as I did. Thank you so much. For me the health part it's the key to all. Take care Bernard. God bless.

[@BernMendez]

You're so welcome, Gina.

[@leezeh3034]

Amazing points! if the partners meets these but not at the expense of knocking into the relationship, otherwise he is just using as a foot stool to step up from you… 1. empathy and kindness 2. A strong focus on health 3. Purpose 4. Clarity of relationship vision 5. Value driven hunger for more. 🎉

[@BernMendez]

Glad you found this useful, Lee.

[@floridagirl5250]

Where do the men you describe hang out? At the unicorn farm, perhaps?😉😁

[@BernMendez]

They hang our everywhere f you know how to look, and are open to creating new connections..

[@floridagirl5250]

@@BernMendez do tell....

[@wildewildestrawberries]

I like the new music opening and background

[@BernMendez]

Glad you like them : )

[@staceysyvarth4452]

I look for intelligence, compassion, humor & fidelity

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for sharing.

[@virginiasanmiguel9930]

OMG u are so on point, ur knowledge is so appreciated. TY for the help u provide us all. 🙏🏻

[@BernMendez]

You are so welcome, Virginia.

[@josieferraris2553]

wonderful advice that is helpful in finding friendships both male and female. thank you for taking the time to study a useful topic and share it ❤

[@BernMendez]

My pleasure, Josie. Glad this helped.

[@Jakilyn]

I'm finding a pattern that men my age, early 40's, are usually divorced and a slave to their kids/ex-wife. Or the total opposite, they've never been married with no kids, and are selfish & jump from woman to woman.

[@BernMendez]

The power and the opportunity for you is in finding the gray areas rather than the black and white you describe. It's not easy but it's possible.

[@amyj.4992]

It's not about chasing my interest, it's about you being able to get close if you think you can get close 😜😉💕 Some of us are to be raised, and loved by the traditional heart centered gentleman or so taught in my cultures anyway 💓😘

[@rdhette944]

Thank you for this video. All is true. I learned so much. Blessings your way. 🙏

[@jejohn665]

Fantastic coaching advice! Thanks Bern!⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@BernMendez]

You’re welcome.

[@Smileygld123]

You are so wise! I resonate with the type of relationship that you describe, and the traits that a women should want in a man. It's also why I had to leave my husband, recently.

[@marilynoverton8142]

This is such an incredibly insightful video! Thank you so much!!

[@BernMendez]

You’re welcome.

[@staceysyvarth4452]

It's my interests & knowledge that fascinate men, or make them run.

[@BernMendez]

Focus on the ones you fascinate only : )

[@reneebenotmusic]

Excellent video, Thank you Bernard!

[@BernMendez]

You are very welcome, Renee.

[@valentina531]

Great content - thank you, Bern 😍🙏👍!

[@BernMendez]

You’re welcome. :)

[@sagenosnibor9173]

Thank you Bern!🙏

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome!

[@user-mj3pp9mz1y]

Absolutely great! Very enlightening Thank you 😊 ♥️🙏♥️🌟

[@carynefuture5778]

Awsome, Bernardo ! Thank you for such a Clear path!

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome : )

[@pearlluber5849]

What you say is very helpful and I appreciate it. Thank you

[@BernMendez]

You are so welcome!

[@beaustisings101b5]

Men actually try to make me seem crazy when I ask what is his life’s purpose. At 40-50? Dude where are you from? Are you that selfish?? 🤯🤯🤭

[@edithmasitsa5529]

So touching , thanks much,God bless

[@vidasagrada7]

what a video! true gem Thank you

[@sherrieavis9423]

Thank you. I’m happy I found your channel

[@BernMendez]

You’re so welcome. And I appreciate you finding my channel. :)

[@sherrieavis9423]

@@BernMendez it is definitely my pleasure. I have been in non-stop consumption of your material. The universe definitely guided me to your channel. I feel more optimistic, clear, and empowered as I continue to gain knew knowledge of navigating the dating world. Truly grateful for you. 🙏🏾

[@lovemrj4ever]

Benardo you get it. Thank you so much

[@BernMendez]

You are very welcome, Greta.

[@chateaumelmont]

The tool i was dating for 18 months ! Didn’t tick any of the boxes ! He was still a broke ass man child ! In his wounded feminine !! Not attractive at all !

[@robin-y9w]

Best video from you . Thank you !

[@BernMendez]

So glad you enjoyed it.

[@vanessakilvin285]

This was great.. thank you..

[@BernMendez]

You’re welcome.

[@Ewa_Spain]

Men in this age are to egoistic, and.burnd from past realastionships 😕 They contact you when they have time.......... after 3 weeks I often bowe out. To much damaged goods out there with closed hearths

[@BernMendez]

My only suggestion, Ewa, is that you remember to add the word "some" to your belief, the reason being, there are still many great men if you don't give up...

[@gingersky3459]

Right On Bernardo !!!

[@BernMendez]

Thank you, Ginger : )

[@LilyDiorMusic]

One of your best yet Bern, where do I find this guy?!

[@BernMendez]

This can help: bit.ly/youresinglequiz

[@gigichica]

My dad's name is Bernardo 👍🏼

[@BernMendez]

Great name ;)

[@aleciamoten6867]

Awesome video! Thanks!

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome, Alecia.

[@DinaStrange]

Gosh, its so hard!!!

[@BernMendez]

You've got this!

[@m.g.1792]

Great video!

[@BernMendez]

Glad you enjoyed it.

[@hildautria3851]

Wow. Makes total sense

[@boomerangsruckflug8513]

Thank you very much 💞💞💞

[@bjelfin]

So true!

[@BernMendez]

Thanks Bev.

[@renzenker2526]

Unhealthy men can try try make successful women a nurse with a purse."

[@robingwynne8111]

Bern, do you have a video about a good man (it seems) not having time for his woman, such as because of work? Or inconsistent with communication such that his woman feels lonely and unsure whether he's being true? Or what to do if I think I overreacted and I seem to have caused the end of it with an impulsive text after not communicating earlier, but want to know if it's reparable...and whether that's a good idea, given my first two questions? haha

[@robingwynne8111]

And in this case, it is a man who has already verbalized total commitment and taking the masculine role in a long-term relationship, but the actions (skipping my birthday, Christmas gift, Valentine's Day all in a row, for instance) don't seem to align with the spoken passion for a fully invested relationship.

[@robingwynne8111]

SO funny. I asked these questions before I had finished watching the challenges list in this video. Yes, I fell into several of the traps and yes I ended up doing both things you said, first bottling it up or at best tiptoeing around the issues, and then addressing it in such an emotionally charged and probably judgmental way, that I suspect he won't want to bounce back from it, and I'm not sure I should want him to. UGH!

[@HeyTash]

I’m not interested in coaching at the time but would love to donate or contribute. How can I do so?

[@thedrflo4558]

I am so thankful for how transformative working with you has been. Still embody the principles you taught me and have a life I love! Could I ask your thoughts on *ED? Is it an inevitable part of connecting with men in this age range? Can it be a dealbreaker? How to know if a man has *ED without getting intimate? "Domo Arigato" from chilly Tokyo!!! 💛

[@ndumi-light]

Isn't ED treatable?

[@thedrflo4558]

@@ndumi-light I think it depends on several factors. Some don't respond to conventional treatment. It can be a challenging situation...

[@ndumi-light]

@@thedrflo4558 I see. I can imagine!

[@thedrflo4558]

@@fertile_farmacy1802 thank you!

[@coconutwater4531]

@@ndumi-light Not always.

[@nilequeen1869]

you lost me at cold showers and cold plunges....haha

[@BernMendez]

Try them, it will be one of the best decisions of your life for emotional and physical health : )

[@bitterapple]

@@BernMendez for me, it's a must have. I can't imagine being with a guy who is not into hard work on his health and character, which may include Coles plunges, martial arts, self-discipline and meditation. Good luck to me finding one 😉

[@emilytaylor1001]

❤

[@aidaflores364]

Excelent info

[@kcsnipes]

Crosswatchin 🕵🏾‍♂️

[@FlatStella1]

yea, we dont want erectial disfunction

[@anitabubic6094]

What are you priching? That all we know, tell as where we go to finde that partner?

[@pixieazul19]

Sounds like sick a tall order...

[@lillianthomas9861]

Thank you Mr. Bern, this was awesome. It is on my listening loop for the day!!

[@BernMendez]

Lillian, thank you so much for watching and sharing.