A People Pleaser's Guide: How to Piss People Off Properly

Stop people pleasing and learn how to piss people off with grace. In this video, I dive deep into why nice guys struggle with disappointing others and the importance of embracing discomfort. Join me as I reveal the key to handling disappointment and learn how to assert yourself with grace and integrity.
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(00:00:00) - Introduction: The Wrong Question
(00:01:34) - The All-or-Nothing Mentality
(00:04:26) - Resistance to Uncertainty
(00:13:00) - Four Key Communication Tools
(00:17:18) - Building Backbone in Relationships
#niceguysfinishlast #selfrespect #OvercomingDisappointment #CourageousCommunication

[@icysurfer1]

Really Good, thanks. I took notes, indeed.

[@MikeCampbellmc]

Glad it was helpful!

[@zenigatago]

Goal: become a kind man. Nice guys are yes men: NO men at all!

[@MikeCampbellmc]

Yeah - kindness without the conditions - I call this a Good man - a clear and distinct difference. Being nice in service of that person, not the insecurity inside. However, Nice Guys are still men - I don't think that helps. I get your point - but Nice Guys are driven by their insecurity - so, in my experience, anything that drives the knife into that more, only adds to it. We need more answers, solutions, and invitations to act differently (and, ultimately address the insecurity).

[@rustyscrapper]

-telling people you don't want to talk to them and to leave you alone sends them into a raging fit. -ignoring people gives them mental breakdowns. -telling people to go away makes them suicidal.

[@MikeCampbellmc]

Hey dude - based on your points here, it seems to me that you've had some tough experiences with being honest. Perhaps you've been around people who acted in those ways. But I encourage you not to make that mean *everyone* responds in those ways. Having said that, this is inviting you to communicate with respect, honesty, kindness and compassion. They are critical. So, "ignoring people" - I would say lacks those. Same with "telling people you don't want to talk to them" - or at least it risks it. As does "telling people to go away". Communicating boundaries is about respecting yourself - but *how* we do it matters. And not communicating because they might have an adverse response isn't the way to go about it. It shows a tendency to try and mage their response - their experience, and ultimately taking responsibility for their reactions - which you cannot control. But instead of washing our hands of it, or delivering in a way that lacks nuance - we can control how we say and what we do. All of this is about learning to play more in the nuance of things - so for what it's worth, how I would re-phrase those examples are: > Instead of "telling people you don't want to talk to them" I would say "I'm not able to talk with you right now. I hope you can respect that." That *might depend on whether it is a "right now" thing or a forever thing, but that's a start. > Instead of "ignoring people" perhaps try communicating a boundary, such as "I am choosing not to engage with this topic/conversation/issue/with you on this. I need space right now. I hope you can respect my boundaries." > Instead of "telling people to go away" perhaps try "I need space from you right now. I'm not able to have this conversation right now" - or words tot hat effect, depending on the situation. But you get to communicate boundaries and ask for space and ask that people respect that. Whether they do or not is on them - but you get to stand firm on upholding your boundaries - that's on you. What they do with it is on them - and you get to put that down. Or you'll forever stay stuck letting their potential reaction dictate how you are and what you do. I hope that helps - Mike

[@collegerebel]

You misspelled "pleasing" in that stop sign.

[@MikeCampbellmc]

Adjusted. Thanks for pointing it out