A Pond Too Far | Chapo Trap House

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Episode 814 - A Pond Too Far (3/11/24)
/ chapo-trap-house
Art/Animation by Emily Halaka @emilyhalaka
We catch up on the biggest winners, losers, snubs and looks of the Illuminati Humiliation Ritual commonly known as the 96th Annual Academy Awards. Then speaking of Humiliation Rituals, we discuss the State of the Union, the response from GOP Senator Katie Britt, Mitch McConnell’s sister-in-law being killed by her own Tesla, and how Zionists are having a hard time finding a date on the apps.
Catch Will, Amber & Felix on stage (and Chris at the bar) along with Girl God and Jacques from Seeking Derangements at the Lodge Room in LA this Thursday, April 4: www.lodgeroomh...
NYC people: keep an eye out for a Movie Mindset season 2 kickoff event. Not fully confirmed yet, but I’d keep May 4th open for now.
#chapotraphouse #chapo

[@henryglennon3864]

I'm going to wait to form an opinion about the nude John Cena controversy until I get Rod Dreher's take on it. This is his bailiwick.

[@sickjuicysjamshack3580]

Primitive Root Cena

[@Trapashow]

Gret ep, Glad to hear Amber again, hope Matt's doing OK, I miss him

[@nightskygaming2710]

Woo, Amber is back!

[@UnoriginalUsername25]

It must have been so embarrassing for John Cena to be that jacked.

[@anon2234]

41:26 This was Tyler Durden's job in Fight Club. Determining whether the recall costs more than the lawsuits.

[@foehammer5047]

"People are leaving dating apps because of all the free Palestine sentiment" OK. I fail to see the issue. "Oh you don't want me here? Well I will just leave. THAT'LL show you."

[@mortystraphouse5077]

dam i miss Matt. hes such a good person and unique intellectual

[@brockcheinz]

He's making great progress thankfully

[@mortystraphouse5077]

@@brockcheinz wow thats great to hear. ty

[@blackdog9698919]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Matt is the best Chapo and, honestly, better than the rest of them combined. Like, he's great as part of the crew, but he's also great by himself.

[@hartheffe]

He’s the only one that’s actually as smart as the others think they are. Felix can be at times too with insights, but Matt is the big picture guy.

[@mortystraphouse5077]

@@blackdog9698919chapo was never the same after virgil and brendan left. felix is a genius imo. and will is an amazing host. they all have diff things that made the show so good. matt was the king always but i love them all. i miss the old chapo before virgil got cancelled

[@freakyzed8467]

Is Zone Of Interest the new PC term for the G spot?

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

Yes but for the male G-spot only.

[@freakyzed8467]

​@@thomasprislacjr.4063 Wait, I have one of those????

[@shanemac1646]

@@freakyzed8467the gay Zionist don’t want you to know about the male zone of interest

[@fabricated]

Amber is cool and good, particularly since it means somebody who has had an actual job at some point in their life is on the show

[@uruzrune7216]

Biden's trade agreement: He gets: kidney and liver damage We get: a vaguely coherent SOTU

[@nerag7459]

Come on rampant drug abuse never stopped Trump, Bush, Bush, Nixon, Nixon, Nixon, Dear god Nixon, So many drugs Nixon, Reagan...

[@masontthompson81]

Cena actually chose the white rapper gimmick.

[@user-tl4fi6oy8d]

Felix speaks with certainty about a lot of things he knows little about.

[@blackdog9698919]

@@user-tl4fi6oy8d Oh, everyone does. Haven't you ever heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect? And even when he's wrong and called out for it, he usually manages to be funny about it, so it's fine.

[@nWohollywood45]

Normally, while I see a lot of people get offended when people say shit like that about pro wrestling, as a lifelong fan I think it’s hilarious to hear non-fans talk about it.

[@2masterofpuppets2]

Felix shitting on wrestling while knowing everything about john cena😂

[@berdyderg900]

There is simply no way your brain works, no one who can be entertained by ogres accumulating CTE qualifies as a human in my mind

[@CharlieApples]

I was really hoping they’d spend half an hour shitting on Katie Britt, there’s so much comedy potential in that train wreck

[@Dunrig]

Apparently the port was bibi's idea. I'm assuming there are going to be other uses for it. Besides maybe bringing in a couple hundred thousand meals for PR.

[@berdyderg900]

Israel is providing the security for the port lmao

[@cringusmoss9937]

AMBER! AMBER! AMBER! AMBER!

[@RancorousSea]

Amber Alert

[@cringusmoss9937]

@@RancorousSea Stay frosty

[@RoyalFusilier]

OP made me imagine the scene in Shogun with Toranaga being cheered by the troops, except it's dirtbag leftists cheering Amber's return.

[@jaks2478]

Oscars? Pff 🤣 Heidecker Oscar Special? Hell yea 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 😎

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

This this THIS!

[@RancorousSea]

I just started bingewatching it all in order, I'm going to have to get a HEI account soon to catch up completely.

[@BoneMachine1443]

Amber is half right. Wrestling *is* drag, but the audience is gay [complimentary] nerds [derogatory]. Less artistically inclined? Wrestlers are theatre kids who never grew out of their anime phase.

[@Jeffberg42]

Ummmm...once you take the aid off the ships ya gotta put it on trucks. Seems easier to just let the thousand trucks already loaded and at the gates to drive thru.

[@jugo1944]

Biden is unbelievably cucked to Netanyahu

[@ChannelMath]

exactly. the idea makes zero sense

[@berdyderg900]

It's almost like it's just to make people stfu for a week while they continue leveling Gaza

[@Anonsage3]

Felix pronouncing Moline Mo-Line convinced me he looks at a map before the show and picks a location to mispronounce once per episode.

[@berdyderg900]

The fact that these dating apps have racisl or religious filters really exemplify modern america, cant even find my racially pure friends irl it has to mediated by an app

[@blackdog9698919]

It could also be so Jewish guys can find blonde white Aryan women who are a foot taller than them.

[@berdyderg900]

@@blackdog9698919 [comment removed due to kink shaming]

[@deeconstruction8163]

Did John Cena start his bit by saying "No, I'm not Mark Wahlberg."

[@MajorHorrigan]

I feel from what I ve seen from John Cena he just loves to objectify his own body in a fun way - in peacemaker there are a few scenes that very much showcase a very self aware sort of narcissism - which is probably common for ppl putting that much work into how their body looks - if that joke humiliated anyone its all the dudes watching him and comparing themselves to him XD

[@blackdog9698919]

According to SNL, when Trump looks in the mirror he sees John Cena. That was pretty funny.

[@thermodynamics458]

Artificial harbors are a thing - the allies built them for the D-Day landings. So, yeah, theoretically possible. Problem is, you have to prefabricate them, and that takes TIME. Time the Palestinians don't have.

[@c.andrew3944]

General Suckmycock or whoever went into the plan after the State of the Union in a separate presser and said it's gonna take at least 60 days before they can start and they don't really know how they're doing it yet. The Defense Department everyone! Then, a few days later, they said the pier will be used for 'voluntary' resettlement humanitarian operations.

[@berdyderg900]

It's projected to take 6 months before it's operational and also the IDF will be providing...security...

[@berdyderg900]

It's basically worse than just doing nothing since this will likely dissuade other nations from intervening while we do nothing ourselves

[@freakyzed8467]

It's actually Tuesday, Mr Chapo.

[@TheJoshuamooney]

The Roy Batty/Trump mashup was brief but legendary.

[@brendancostello9777]

If only Trump wouldget lost forever, like tears in the rain....

[@Quuaary]

i miss matt :(

[@williamjameslehy1341]

We all do. Hope his recovery is going well.

[@princegobi5992]

Do you know how he’s doing?

[@Reid52]

yay, more amber!

[@johncennamo9084]

any news from Matt?

[@Aaron-xo7px]

Every few weeks they give an update

[@marcusianparrish]

He got a new skull last week

[@RumHam5570]

His tweets are fire 🔥

[@marcusianparrish]

@@RumHam5570 that's why

[@brockcheinz]

Based on his tweets he's made a ton of progress recovering from his stroke. He just had surgery on his skull and is apparently on heavy pain meds but the prognosis from him and his wife looks pretty optimistic

[@52flyingbicycles]

“10% of Jewish users’ matches have something anti-Israel on their profile” Uhhh, they do realize that a match means they both liked each other’s profiles… right?

[@Begeru]

Yea it really disproves their point

[@TheJadedJames]

People are just mad that the pool of people they want to **** have deeply opposing political views and would like it if hot girls not have opposing takes on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

[@quadabyte8933]

Love the show, but I will be unsubscribeing due to Amber's Anti-Beetlejuice: the musical rhetoric. Very disappointing.

[@jschnabes13]

I thought she was referring to the recurring Howard Stern show guest Beetlejuice

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

I keep getting a feeling that Beetlejuice the musical is going to go the way of like Hamilton. I watched the generation of Millennials love it, while I thought it was pandering, and then I see it horribly destroyed by Gen Z and I'm validated.

[@quadabyte8933]

@thomasprislacjr.4063 I think Hamilton trying to be about something, giving some grand statement about America and romance is more annoying than Beetlejuice. Millennials soying over Beetlejuice will never come close to Thomas Jefferson in a miku binder.

[@rapalbumdepot7648]

I recommend bringing your best girl and a couple live rosin carts

[@Mark-jr6ld]

Theater kids and Disney adults all deserve each other and need to leave everyone else alone.

[@commenter381]

I'm the first to say "first" and also the first to say "I'm gay"

[@ellie3910]

11:54 I started crab walking during this commercial, just to take attention away from it.

[@ScionWhales]

About the whole hinge and anti Zionism thing, its a very telling point that they don't even once think "why do so many people not like zionism". Only whining and complaining and hoping people cowtow to Israel and Zionism instead of even a tiny lil bit of self reflection.

[@AoE2Replays]

its revealing on how little they self reflect!!

[@nerag7459]

"No its the children who are wrong."

[@nico.f.]

They know, always have. They only pretend not to.

[@blackdog9698919]

For everyone except the Jews, if people don't like their ideology they just blame it on Jewish propaganda. So who do the Zionists blame? Honestly I think they also blame the Jews.

[@tofubutcher7456]

"I didn't like the film because it looked like they had a budget" Amber continues with the professional pevel of film critique

[@sammckenney8163]

Funny thing is the budget was only around 30 million, they stretched it way further than most 100+ mil productions

[@davidhill2020]

41:20 Isn't this exactly what The Narrator talks about at the beginning of Fight Club?

[@mortystraphouse5077]

Lily Gladstone got robbed of best actress Oscar. absolutely criminal snub

[@CharlieApples]

For real.

[@macnsteez3938]

Pumped my fist when J Pod got a mention. The Schnippers Slob himself

[@QuarrelsomeLocalOaf]

*_WHERE ARE MY TREATS?!_*

[@cliffordmeece]

I don't know who is who on the podcast, but one of the guys audio has a very annoying rhythmic volume change, like he is rocking back and forth to the microphone. It is very distracting.

[@sickjuicysjamshack3580]

That’s Bill Menachem

[@marcusianparrish]

Will is always on amphetamines

[@alexanderjmihalich8525]

Batin

[@subversivelysurreal3645]

You guys should join Matt Leib on Bad Hasbara ❤🇵🇸✌🏽

[@sentientnatalie]

Definitely, that'd be a riot!

[@allie_hart]

I thought I had heard on a podcast that the dude I knew from gmm had a pod about gaza but then when I tried to remember the specifics later and i didn't find it immediately I thought I had just dreamed the most random shit ever 😂 Im glad I happened upon this comment. I'm subbing to that for sure thank you!

[@majuli8420]

How's Matt? Anyone know?

[@ross4]

He just got a new skull

[@avemazov]

He's tweeting more coherently every day

[@berdyderg900]

4 out of 5 Thanos gemstones acquired last I heard

[@jamescoll130]

@@ross4worried about his sides though!

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

I could have sworn this lady was auditioning for the evil mom in a lifetime movie

[@average3970]

how tf did you comment 4 minutes after the video came out

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

​@@average3970 because I heard the episode already?

[@cheycheyfriend247]

poor things is based on a book so idk what you expected

[@marcuswalters8093]

56:22 I've had this trick pulled on me.

[@FreddyDaleginds]

Top notch content

[@RIP_Greedo]

Linda Cardellini's weirdest role yet

[@inorganicintelligence-IoI]

I want to see T and B fight while covered in Soy Sauce.

[@kaesi6118]

Amberrr!

[@rapalbumdepot7648]

Cena out here getting sexually harassed on TV

[@berdyderg900]

A woman doing the exact same thing but just be a girl boss empowered woman of the people lol

[@RibbyCribby]

amber

[@washingmachine009]

amber's back!!

[@biometronome7010]

Some people only do it during warm weather, right? Isn't that normal?

[@LateCambrian]

Saw The Zone of Interest in 4DX…. Big mistake!

[@elbowjuice2627]

LMAO

[@thereandbackagainhv]

Thank you for pointing out Poor Things being a poor movie haha

[@mortystraphouse5077]

who didnt like Poor Things? Will? man i never know what hes going to think of a movie lmao

[@SMarcey]

Why is Wills voice volume level always fluctuating?

[@RedSntDK]

Shocking that production can be so bad, it's like "you had one job" level of poor production. If the audio is this bad, might as well put it in text, like make it a blog, or use AI voices or something. 51:30 Good point about having to have everyone like them. Never really equated republicanism and conservatism with zionism until I heard that. .. And then right after that, saying "would it be bad to pretend not to be a zionist in order to get pu55y?" like, yeah, it's not unlike women finding out their significant other votes for a party that is stripping all women of their rights. Sure, consequences in the US, UK or wherever aren't felt like they are in Israel and Palestine, but they're still pretty extreme.

[@berdyderg900]

Yeah they pay a full time producer lol

[@cheruchu]

I feel like Amber's comment about Yorgos Lanthimos' intentions with the plot of Poor Things was missing the point of the film but hey I mean she did claim that the film wasn't her type afterwards but it definitely gave the impression that she has poor media literacy but maybe I'm just overreacting because I am passionate about the film's message

[@sammckenney8163]

Yeah, I think the film goes to great measure to portray Bella as a child in the beginning. The attempted marriage at the beginning is portrayed as a negative, and viewing Ruffalo's character as effectively a pedophile isn't contradicting the story in my opinion.

[@ultravioletiris6241]

Kate’s 💀 lol

[@whentheleveebreaks4732]

🎶 In my country there is problem…

[@Tom-ahawk]

The way dems stepped up in the Palestine genocide has me feeling completely unenthusiastic about any american leadership. Will Biden win? Idfc anymore. I'm left, but our government has never been left.

[@Backinblackbunny009]

15:00 I haven't seen it online (tbf, everything is so shitty i rarely go on Twitter or reddit anymore) but isn't the obvious conclusion that kate tried to en d herself? Like we all know willy is stepping out on her, she's hitting middle age and her obvious ED is aging her (I'm a middle class mother of 3 that just hit 40 last winter and frankly i look younger then her even tho i can't afford any of the exorbitant skin care and cosmetic surgery available to the future queen of England. Plus it was the holidays and that's when people are more likely to do it. Maybe I'm missing something obvious but that's just how it seems to me.

[@aurus6483]

Interesting theory. Personally i think she just needed pelvic floor and abdominal surgery after carrying three royal babies while contending with hyperemesis gravidarum. She wouldn't have been able to exercise those muscles due to vomiting every 20 minutes between conception and birth and combined with how tall and thin she is, Id wager her body has suffered from those extremely dangerous pregnancies.

[@RobynReanimates]

Amber is one of my favorite hosts but holy shit her film criticism is deeply terrible

[@FreakyFriday4Phaggs]

Half Regard, is this KCJFS reference i smell or is my brain fried from JOJO memes.

[@berdyderg900]

I understand teslas have laminated glass windows so they're much harder to break (but look cooler) but why couldn't she just open the door once the car was submerged..? Was she not even conscious?

[@Hamun002]

Two things: Pushing that much water is difficult. Its heavy as shit. The Tesla's handles on the doors are not mechanical. Some models have an emergency handle in the door that is mechanical, some have a mechanical latch that I honestly don't know how you actuate in a situation like this, and some straight up have no mechanical handle. You might actually pass out if the air filter is submerged before figuring it out. All in all, the perfect vehicle for satellite enabled assassinations

[@berdyderg900]

@@Hamun002 the water is only "heavy as shit" before your car fills up and the pressures normalize inside/outside your car door. Once your car is full of water and not air then the door will open freely.

[@GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub]

@@berdyderg900 even oligarchs have a tendency to act like humans and panic

[@berdyderg900]

@@GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub for sure, if you don't know to wait for the car to fill then yeah you'll just panic and lose your shit. Just all a very strange story, I wonder if they did a toxicology report or anything

[@rf3471]

Ambruh

[@BiancaTallarico]

Tesla = Carrie

[@brendancostello9777]

Do you mean Christine, the killer car?

[@jjb.6152]

Lol

[@TurtleChad1]

US is sending all this aid to Gaza meanwhile Maui residents are still homeless.

[@nerag7459]

I thought you supported Israel? Are they not entitled to destroy Gaza?

[@hartheffe]

I’m pretty sure the pier will actually be built.

[@PirateZ1]

"pier" meaning military base, then yes

[@hartheffe]

@@PirateZ1 not the brilliant insight you think it is. The military is building a pier. It’s safe to say the military will be involved pretty heavily. There’s no need for a new base though, we’ve got them all over the region already.

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

This was a masterpiece in terrible acting

[@PostYourJaggahog]

No Matt

[@BM-wh5qk]

Kimmel has broken some bucks by now.

[@ruthhinds7603]

I'm

[@someoldcliche]

gay

[@dirrdevil]

me

[@johncennamo9084]

you're?

[@bengozzy408]

Bot

[@ryanwbourquin]

I ❤ JOE BIDEN!

[@ludviglidstrom6924]

Are you trolling?

[@alexb8560]

Cap

[@dirrdevil]

Is this Jeffrey Epstein's ghost's alt?

[@Cussy69_420]

That's, like... Sad

[@blackdog9698919]

I AM GAY!

[@wgjung1]

I believe Jewish bachelors are not getting any. because most women have the ability to see.

[@howwitty]

How perceptive are women?

[@rapalbumdepot7648]

Everything Vince McMahon touches turns to crap

[@pro-choicemom]

Your insufferable level of cynicism is so inspiring for young listeners. Your BS talking solves issues.

[@polishpipebomb]

Bro, no one under 24 listens to this show, what are you 60?

[@richardnipples7574]

Amber is great!!!

[@romanmanner]

So, a Native American deserved an Oscar for playing a Native American? Emma was clearly the better actor. Lily didn’t cut it.

[@CharlieApples]

You’re so wrong lol

[@cheycheyfriend247]

dude lily was amazing. she didnt just play a native american, thats grossly reductive.

[@capyossarian]

So a saltine played a cracker Jack, what's to impress?

[@probableflaws3597]

You can always tell the one comedian/caster that isn’t quite up to the level as the others because they’ll always ask the rhetorical questions “what’s up with X doing Y?” but then have no joke to go with it. Like the observation itself is the joke. Then one of the other persons cleans it up with a funny reference that they’re able to pull out on the fly.

[@AlexiosMaximov]

This is a really smarmy and fart-smelling comment, but I'll humor it. Not every person on a podcast is supposed to be haha-funny. If you've ever actually ran a talk show, podcast or anything like that, you know that someone needs to play the role of curator/moderator and keep the conversation moving. If Felix and Amber were just riffing for an hour they'd never move off a single topic

[@probableflaws3597]

@@AlexiosMaximov thanks for the lecture, I’m a better person for it

[@AlexiosMaximov]

@@probableflaws3597 any time. I'm sure it'll help any possible podcasts you might make in the future a listenable experience

[@GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub]

@@probableflaws3597 did you just respond to your own comment

[@probableflaws3597]

@@GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub yes

[@rodrigoroa6753]

“it's waaay easier to bomb a port because of the single centralized location " - Amber Frost logistics and military strategy expert. "Single centralized location" is not a thing, incredible that these people get paid for their verbal diarrhea and think of themselves as intellectuals of some sorts. Amber's book must be total rubbish.

[@sr-gc6vh]

You must be so smart and articulate. Have you written anything or achieved anything?

[@rodrigoroa6753]

@@sr-gc6vh I am currently writing a thesis that critiques the fallacy of the so called International rules based order so I can graduate from the best law school in the Spanish speaking world. The whole "dirtbag left" was just marketing and literally accomplished nothing.

[@blackdog9698919]

Well, she's kind of right? But it's also a totally irrelevant point? Amber's not wrong. But as they point out themselves later on in the discussion, the Israelis aren't going to bomb this supposed port because it's never going to exist in the first place, so it's just a moot point.

[@rodrigoroa6753]

@@blackdog9698919 she's not wrong and she's not right, she isn't saying anything at all just filling space with empty phrases, her book is most likely the same. Her meanie sarcastic teenager attitude is so passé “everyone is so disengaged with the election", she is like 40 years old, time to grow up.

[@CharlieApples]

Yeah, imagine a non-autistic person who has never served in any military might not know the exact semantics you demand from the world, crazy

[@MrExplodium]

Its hilarious how this pod talks about Biden. They spent the last 5 years lowering our expectations around his mind/presidency and are surprised the media treats him with a low bar. You and all of the other podcasts talk about how demented and braindead he is so he looks like genius when he gets asked basic questions. Good job guys. The Biden campaign should send y'all a thank you card.

[@zefem]

For sure. The rest was funny but the biden section was cringe af lol

[@wolfumz]

they've always been this way

[@westvirginiaglutenfreepepp7006]

What a mush brained take 😂

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

Well, it's clearly a response to right-wingers doing the same for Donald Trump. People forget Ronald Reagan had basically no brain left during his second term LOL and Republicans absolutely adore him and defend him to this day.

[@ButteredToits-]

lmao lmfao

[@leeconway1000]

Wow when did Chapo become Fox?

[@willfischer6007]

Wow when did I become gay?

[@nerag7459]

Wow when?

[@RumHam5570]

Wow

Wow when did my weener become turgid?

[@leeconway1000]

Sounds like they've been Foxey for a while. Probably Russian Money Syndrome.

[@jamesoheary3757]

What you people are doing is not working for you, but you're all arrogant, so you do it and you come to more ruin as age sets in. I suppose it's a good thing there's consequences for hostile personas.

[@chazblank2717]

Beg pardon?

[@blackdog9698919]

This is what happens when you have a dictionary but nothing to say.

[@CharlieApples]

This whole commenting thing isn’t working for you bud

[@jamesoheary3757]

Not the brightest category eh?

[@HammerStudioGames]

22:59 are they braindead? This is not that difficult. They're definitely building that pier.

[@berdyderg900]

You putting money down, brother? The current estimation is 6 months before it's operational and even then it will officially be under IDF control

[@berdyderg900]

Id gladly escrow money against you saying that pier never gets a significant aid shipment (whether that's due to just scrapping the project, Israel blowing it up, etc.)

[@HammerStudioGames]

@@berdyderg900You have no vision, do you? You think Israel is going to bomb or commandeer US military equipment? Really? And no, I'm not trusting you with a cent of my money, I'm not ghoulish enough to try and make a game out of real world crisis. Disgusting.

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

@@HammerStudioGames You really did take that personally, didn't you ? LMAO.

[@mattcorrigan6639]

@@berdyderg900pier got built in 2 months. Aid is flowing brotha

[@BM-wh5qk]

Do Gays for Palestine think that independent Palestine is going to raise the rainbow flag for them when they visit?

[@Salazzarslaan]

Should we only care for the lives of others if they will give us something in return? Can we only have empathy for people who think like us?

[@durfdurffigan8680]

You got a children's view of Empathy.

[@tmsphere]

Is rainbow flag your national flag now?

[@berdyderg900]

You've shown how morally superior you are by ignoring that they're currently being genocided, you really got us

[@freakyzed8467]

Do gays for Trump think his supporters won't lock them away and throw away the key?

[@speed0spank]

Electric cars accelerate way too fucking fast so I can totally believe she just tapped the gas and flew backwards. No joke the acceleration needs to be legislated.

[@jjb.6152]

Lol