A practical look at caring for siblings with disabilities | DeShanna Reed | TEDxRaleigh

Dive into the heart of empathy and resilience with Dr. DeShanna Reed as she shares the powerful and transformative journey of her family from her perspective as the younger sibling to a sister with Autism who goes on to become a Special Education teacher, school leader, and community advocate for accessibility, equity, and inclusion spanning two decades. Dr. Reed’s talk illuminates the extraordinary potential within every sibling relationship, outlines three must-know aspects of caregiving and advocacy, and highlights the awe-inspiring evolution of siblings into caregivers and advocates as we redefine the boundaries of familial bonds and showcase the remarkable impact of unwavering support.
Dr. DeShanna Reed is a former Special Education teacher and campus administrator turned professional speaker, educational researcher, consultant, and Board-Certified Advocate for Special Education. She holds a Doctor of Education with a focus on Special Populations. She is the youngest of four siblings and a mother of four. She lives in Houston, Texas where she owns and operates an educational coaching, consulting, and advocacy firm. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@GGoAwayy]

It's interesting to be raised with awareness from the start that other people have harder challenges in life, and to not take what you have for granted. It's also challenging to grow up with the idea in ones head that you need to be responsible and successful enough to be able to take care of your sibling someday. I like how she points out that this isn't at all the same as actually being prepared to do that, or being some kind of expert.

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for watching my talk and for your comment! I really wanted to highlight the importance of what my parents did for me and my sisters so that others feel empowered to do the same. Please share this video with others.

[@catherineozarko5480]

Tears while listening.

[@deshannak79]

Thank you so much for watching my talk! I am glad it was impactful ❤️

[@bukurie6861]

Thank yo😍u shares!It is great to hear your best words!Respect❤🌍🫠💚✨️🌻🙏

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for your kind words @bukurie6861 ☺️

[@punnaroothsrimongkolsilp1543]

Thank you.

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for watching my talk! Share, share, and share again!

[@jassijingles]

thanks for sharing❤

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for watching my talk! Let’s make this go viral! Share, share, and share again!

[@arpitasingh2855]

Wonderful❤

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for watching my talk! I appreciate your support

[@umarfarooquemondal6965]

The ground reality lies in the fact in our country like India the parents are not sound financially to take care for their children with such different abilities continuously apart from their education as well as lacking socio- sympathy. Govt is also not taking into account this grave hindrances to nurture the solutions with proper measures.

[@deshannak79]

This is true for some families, but not all. The biggest challenge is there is a lack of communication regarding what is available to families with both differently-abled and neurotypical children. My parents had to seek out this information on their own back during a time just after the civil rights movement in laws to protect individuals with differing abilities, and their families were still years away. In my experience, it is not a lack of empathy, socially for families like mine, and others, who have children with differing abilities, rather it is more an ignorance and lack of understanding that inhibits our progression in terms of more accessible, equitable, and inclusive environments in all areas of our society. It takes people like myself and others. I know that are passionate about improving accessibility, equity, and inclusion for all to continuously advocate for, and speak out regarding the needs of members in our communities that typically are voiceless. That was the point of me, sharing my story, and why I serve as a board-certified advocate in my community. Thank you for your feedback and for watching my talk ☺️

[@MiltonJhon-c3h]

Need have a lot of patience, a lot more concern from mentor to mother , ready to surrender all your time, emotions , their will be a phase that you will feel embarassed but instead feel cherished that God has chosen for this good deed to perform , at times you have to disconnect all your social networks , love your siblings as much as you can

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for watching my talk and sharing your thoughts. I agree that a great deal of patience and mentorship are crucial for parents/caregivers and their successors.

[@sumitbhardwaj5612]

I am a sczophrenic, I got my disease through my mother and father but mainly through my mother and I was bad in reading but good in writing and whatever I read I just forget it's like I read nothing at all. Now my father died through his disease and alcohol consumption. But also my father's family and society performed some kind of ritual on him even though his mental health was not good for months. I told him to go to a psychiatrist but he didn't listen to me and now my father's family also wants me to kill as soon as possible but they are doing it in a cunning way and the sad part is I can't prove anything and I don't know where to go situation is like that.

[@deshannak79]

I appreciate you sharing your story. My advice is to speak with your therapist about this and if you do not have one, I suggest finding a good one that can connect you with community-based resources to support you and your remaining family members during this time. Best wishes.

[@LittleRedRideMeGood69]

*_I have burn out from caring for my brother._* I can't do *_anything_* without the filter of *_"How will this affect (Name)?"_* ✨ I am my *_brother's keeper,_* but *_I'm tired._* ✨

[@Mostafa-qn4tb]

Isn’t it possible to ask others (like other family members or friends) for help?

[@fenlandwildlifeclips]

What about us non neurotupical siblings who care for our siblings part time?

[@deshannak79]

Great question! That applies to many of my former students and their siblings. These elements are still important in that you may one day be the full time caregiver for your sibling. Being aware of guardianship, financial management, and community involvement is important whether you care for your sibling full or part time.

[@AbduramanSukare-g6l]

Thank you for you sharing information gentle female Real it's very interesting idea Thank you!!!

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for watching my talk! Feel free to share, share, and share again!

[@armandocastillorodriguez1731]

Ya huele a final en esta segunda temporada de la isla

[@zeruth467]

The title didn’t show up in my notification

[@deshannak79]

The title for my talk is “Three essential elements for caregiving and advocacy for differently-abled siblings”. It is based on my families, story and my experience as a special education, teacher, administrator, and board-certified advocate.

[@Sherpapema-vlog]

🥰🥰🥰

[@deshannak79]

Thank you for your support! Please feel free to share, share, and share again!

[@celestialcircledance]

If they have a kind temperament and express an interest in taking on that roll sure, but otherwise I think it could place an unfair pressure and burden on siblings who have enough on there plates juggling their own busy careers and families .A lot of parents wont even carry a child like that to tern or will give them up for adoption so the other siblings who have no say in the matter should not be assumed to take on that extra burden . .

[@deshannak79]

This is an interesting perspective. At times, it can be a great deal of pressure, and seem like a “burden“ for some people. When you grow up in a household with someone who has differing abilities that are more severe or profound, the expectation (spoken or unspoken) is that you are willing to support your family in caring for your sibling assume the full- or part-time role as caregiver when/if the time comes. The premise of this talk was to share my family’s story in hopes that it will help other families like mine, prepare their neurotypical children to become caregivers and advocates when/if the time comes. It was not for everybody, but it is for anybody who needs this type of information and encouragement. Best regards ☺️

[@comradestannis]

What this person speaks of is just abusive.

[@deshannak79]

That is a very interesting perspective. It is unfortunate that in listening to the talk, if you even listened to it in its entirety, that you would equate my family’s story as abusive. It is a shame that you took this message and twisted it to be something negative. Gratefully, your comment is a complete outlier as everyone else who viewed it understood the message and responded respectfully. Best wishes to you.

[@comradestannis]

@@deshannak79 You do not seem to have my best wishes so don't offer them.