A Preventable Tragedy: The Murder Of Alice Ruggles

Today’s episode will focus on Alice Ruggles’ story.
Alice was in a brief relationship with an Army Corporal named Harry Dhillon. Dhillon was controlling and possessive and it wasn’t long before Alice ended the relationship. But Dhillon was not prepared to take no for an answer, and launched a frightening and obsessive campaign to try and win her back.
Alice reported his behaviour to the police several times, but tragically, the events that transpired in October 2016, proved fatal.
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Sources 📝
controlc.com/9b8934c8
Further Resources:
www.alicerugglestrust.org
www.suzylamplugh.org
www.victimsupport.org.uk/crim...
www.womensaid.org.uk/informat...
paladinservice.co.uk
www.supportline.org.uk/proble...
www.actionagainststalking.org
www.womensaid.org.uk/informat...
www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
victimconnect.org/learn/types...
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[@PinkyJapan]

She did everything right: ceased contact, blocked him, called the police multiple times, had friends escort her to her door… and it still wasn’t enough. The system failed her.

[@michaelmcfaul7761]

Correct. The system is failed.

[@Peanutwhiskers77]

Yes so sad she didn’t get the protection she so desperately needed, she could’ve been alive today. 😢

[@egregiousqueef7781]

@@Peanutwhiskers77 Americans will say "gewd gawd, durn womens need guns! MORE GUNS! Yew and yer kuntry ain't got enuff gunssss!! Git 'er dun!"

[@Leney735]

Right. It’s just so sad. She did everything right in her part and the system couldn’t even help her 😭

[@randytrashcan]

@@egregiousqueef7781 Well, yes, actually. Had she been carrying a gun, she could have evened the playing field and possibly defended herself. Instead, she had to go hand-to-hand with a soldier who had the jump on her and was armed with a knife.

[@doctorshell7118]

Stalking needs to be taken WAY more seriously. Everywhere.

[@anitaknight3915]

Yes. I think stalking, drunk driving, and domestic violence needs to be taken more seriously and harsher laws all over the world!!!!

[@desiertoscacti5388]

So true, I think that the police and the system, like everyone who should have protected against stalkers, are doing the minimal and only.

[@diggernick8535]

Just nut up and stop being a bitch Goddamn you are pathetic.

[@laurarules3642]

Agreed its scary the amount of people that have been killed by stalkers just on this channel alone

[@lunalove9395]

The 911 call from her flatmate saying she can't look and then realising she's dead is heartbreaking...I hope she's doing okay.

[@danb215]

That operator was pissing me off. Why do you need to know how much blood. She already said its everywhere ffs..

[@goldenrosetuxedo]

I got choked up when the operator reassured Maxine that she was doing really well hanging in there during the call; so much compassion and support during such a horrific moment.

[@Mindymcdee]

I was touched by that too. 😢

[@bec5250]

The fact that the guy was hooking up with someone on Tinder even as he was acting to end Alice's life shows just how much this is about control.

[@gremlinjerky8462]

In his culture this is completely acceptable

[@rayluby6659]

When he said “you belong to another man” clear he didn’t see her as a human, just a thing to claim

[@kaizr8900]

@@gremlinjerky8462 where is he from

[@jenesisjones6706]

@@gremlinjerky8462 Exactly! But no one can state which culture, just another example of how out of control things are these days.

[@juanitarichards1074]

@@gremlinjerky8462 In our culture its also acceptable. Look around you.

[@I_luv_french_fries]

This guy should never be released. He is a permanent danger to the public.

[@Gioachina0279]

After release he can go back to his Country and marry another girl chosen by his parents. This Girl had no Chance. Will never walk down in the Church to marry or become a Mother. All because this little prick choose that she wasn't allowed to move on

[@Mira-gu6we]

@@Gioachina0279 this asshole will subject whatever poor girl is arranged married to him to inhuman cruelty. And unlike your country, his countrymen will tell the victim to just STFU.

[@serendavies7375]

No he should never be released!

[@taleenkassabian1196]

Her sad little voice on the phone calls to the police broke my heart. Poor darling, I hope she is resting in peace

[@brianbommarito3376]

A curse on every man who murders a girl for exercising the right to say ‘no’ or to dump a bum when he deserves it. A thousand curses on such evil men!

[@ScribbleVicious]

Stalkers should have an ankle monitor put on. When they get too close to the person being stalked it should immediately alert the police to their locations.

[@someonesomewhere1600]

Good point. It sounds like the cops did nothing after than second call.

[@rachelwyatt6030]

That’s an amazing idea to be honest!!!

[@jenecossey5187]

Excellent idea

[@hayleyyjay]

That would require the victim to be monitored as well. As a former victim of violent stalking, idk if I would have consented to a monitor on my own self.

[@candycane7434]

that’s a good idea, these nutters need to be monitored at all times

[@andreahayes8400]

That second officer she talked to seemed like he was rushing her, like it wasn't important to him or something. The system failed her miserably. So very sad. So very preventable.

[@melinaesposito3434]

It felt like he just wanted to get her off the phone. 'Someone will call you back' what? why?

[@beez5338]

The system has been failing to take the epidemic of violent crime against women forever. It is continuing to be a man's world

[@sallw9263]

RIGHTTT!!! I was so annoyed listening to how dismissive he was being.

[@beez5338]

@Kitty Kat Of course violence inflicted upon men must be taken seriously, unfortunately murder and rape of women is rampant.

[@paulaevans8325]

@Tabula Rasa perhaps he is? I wonder if he faced any disciplinary procedures after the events of this case.

[@user-zs6mm9zi7p]

And yet again, the police have let down a young lady who was desperately calling for help, it is sickening. From the very first report of stalking, the perpetrator should be fitted with an ankle monitor and second offence should be jail. When are people going to wake up to the fact that a court ordered piece of paper is NEVER going to deter these people from doing harm to others. 22 years is a joke, he took a beautiful girls life and he should get life with no possibility for parole.

[@JuliePerez-dy2iy]

Amen to that

[@snachmyweave4806]

My friend was killed by her stalker, there was no escape. The anniversary of her death was last week. She was just 27. RIP to anyone who lives in fear of someone and those who lose their lives at the hands of these monsters. ❤

[@tenanikifya383]

Hate them..

[@Pellegrineanita]

I'm so sorry your friend lost her life and how heartbroken you must be. I've been in this terrifying situation, I was half an inch away from being dead or paralysed the hospital told me when they showed me th xray where he'd broke my neck, I lived with him and he beat me up regularly for no reason, this was 1985, I had no support from the police, domestic abuse wasn't recognised back then, no mobile phones or anything. Hospital told me I could prosecute him for attempted murder but I daren't cos all I could think of was he'd get out of prison one day and then he'd come for me, I was petrified of him. He'd abused women before and after me. Alice did everything she could have done and the Police etc let her down. Fast forward 40 years and now I am still affected in various ways because of what he did to me.. I'm just about a recluse. I hope your friend is at peace and you had some kind of support. My daughters best friend died (not at the hands of someone else) and I saw the grief my daughter suffered, she was 20 and her bestie was 23... xx

[@mommyshark1124]

I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏽

[@A.Girl.Has.No.Name.]

A life sentence isn't "life" if you EVER get out on parole!!

[@RaccoonNation]

It’s like toilet paper math 🧮

[@simonw1313]

It's well understood what a life sentence means. My problem isn't that but the length of the tariff. For these type of crimes (stalking, harassment, murder of ex-partner) the starting point should be substantially higher. He should be doing over 30 years not 22. Hopefully his parole hearing will go badly for him.

[@kellyfelly6645]

You said it!!! I agree 100% life should mean life. NO PAROLE

[@simonw1313]

@@kellyfelly6645 - if the courts want to keep someone in prison until they die they have recourse to sentencing the guilty to a full life tariff. Otherwise it's well known fact that a life sentence means that the person has a chance of parole once they serve their tariff and that they will then be let out on licence. If they break the terms of that licence they will be returned to prison.

[@oAgL214]

Exactly. Life sentence should be that! The rest of your life behind bars. Laws are flawed in most countries.

[@kym28]

You can see how kind she is. Even when the police was unhelpful, she remained polite and humble. He just killed a beautiful soul. I hope he pays for it for the rest of his life.

[@NoName-bb2pu]

Sicks (pun intended) are like that, desperate scum, you need to kick that race outta England urgently

[@CNile-se9xw]

I had the same thought. So sweet & polite.

[@NathalieBostrom]

Yes, she was very polite when she spoke to the police on the phone.

[@Mounhas]

She sounded an absolute sweetheart, polite and well mannered. Such a waste, such a tragedy. RIP Alice.

[@andrewburkinshaw1446]

This poor girl. Her fears were justified and she tried her best to protect herself. My heart goes out to her, her family, and friends.

[@Nomorewarsforisrael]

The first policeman she called deserves a raise, he’s very good at what he does putting the victim at ease by taking her seriously and offering her options even if they aren’t perfect.

[@jrlbabes4eva]

😓🙌🏼

[@nickjones7737]

Doing their job doesn't warrant a raise.

[@user-xb5fl9gt2v]

@ climatechchanges. Why in the hell would that cop deserve a raise just because he DID HIS DAMN JOB that he gets paid enough to do. And he probably only does his job properly once in a blue moon. So NO he DOES NOT deserve a damn raise

[@Pellegrineanita]

I agree, the 2nd one didn't seem to know what he was doing and passed it on to someone else...

[@meinsouza]

when will authorities start to treat these stalker cases more seriously before they turn deadly???there needs to be a change in the law ASAP

[@heresdale]

Things like this will never change unless laws are changed. Sexual assault, domestic violence, stalking … somewhere along the line our society decided that violence against women is acceptable. We have failed our mothers, sisters, daughters and friends abysmally.

[@Oliver-Closeoff]

@@heresdale A bit far. They are the most projected. Don't believe me? Go up and start assaulting a woman in public and see how it goes for you. Then try a man.

[@heresdale]

@@Oliver-Closeoff Violence against women doesn’t generally take place in public, though. That’s part of the problem. DV and SA happen behind closed doors, resulting in a “he said, she said” situation that our legal system as constructed does not deal with well. Look at the stats on SA: % reported, % charged, % prosecuted, % found guilty. Absolutely minuscule numbers. Did you know that up until fairly recently, a woman’s sexual history could be used against her in SA cases? That’s one very small step we took. Many more, much larger steps need to be taken.

[@user-mj7gm6gj9v]

@@heresdale If society "decided that violence against women is acceptable," there wouldn't be laws against it. Mind blown, eh?

[@kellylynch9051]

No problems with the law…personal protection like a sawed off shotgun would’ve helped her

[@CarmelN1]

The last images of her, essentially walking to her death…are incredibly haunting 😞

[@littlemisschatterbox_]

The image of her laughing with her colleague just like we all do with no care in the world at that moment and then walking into her home made me go cold and sad. What a tragedy. 🥲🥲

[@rhenvao2844]

This needs to be said, abusive relationships are always about control. Abusers may say it's about love and some of them might even be deluded enough to believe it themselves, but it's really just to have someone they can punch down at, to feel bigger than, to blame for their own failures, to keep up appearances to society. Not one of those reasons I just listed was about love. They're all about control.

[@olivedog1880]

Her poor roommate. She’ll never be the same. This is so sad. Alice seemed like a sweet girl.

[@bookwrmxoxo5105]

I teared up hearing the police call. Poor girl

[@olivedog1880]

@@bookwrmxoxo5105 😔

[@SyMchale]

Same, that was harrowing to hear I almost felt like I was there, smells sounds and images that poor girl will carry with her for life

[@diggernick8535]

"Omg she's like totally dead" XD

[@Animalsaviour1969]

I thought the sane her roommate will have those memories of seeing her laying there deceased. It's awful I don't think someone like this can be forgotten

[@mookie9532]

That monster couldn’t resist taking deep emotional shots at her family, and surely wounded Alice’s father saying he couldn’t protect her in her last moments. A pure psychopath. I hope he doesn’t make it out of prison. God forgive me if I’m wrong for saying it.

[@jonnylumberjack6223]

Yeah, his "defence" was truly appalling. I hope any future parole hearing takes all that into consideration - that even after killing their daughter, he was still taking shots at them in court. Utterly disgusting behaviour.

[@wonkydonkey8349]

yup - this guy is one who i would have given the death penalty for if i was a judge

[@kevinmalone3210]

@Tabula Rasa Exactly, he needed to be taken out. This psycho wasn't going to stop until he murdered her.

[@MegaTinni]

If there is a God he'd kill that monster now.

[@Mobstersdaught]

@@MegaTinni hi there is a god but lets hope in jail he will get looked after

[@mackss9468]

Excellent synopsis of this case. Stalking is truly one of the most terrifying crimes.

[@loveisthedrug3579]

Who down votes these videos? This channel is perfectly researched and stories are presented better than most mainstream true crime series. Weird

[@thecorianne4282]

She sounded so defeated and sad at the end of her last call to police. She knew. She knew what was coming, and she knew they were not going to save her. This is a huge problem in the states as well. Very few states even have anti-stalking laws on the books. Definitely time for a change!

[@someonesomewhere1600]

So right. (I'm a guy; a father, in the US) I'm disgusted also that all these rich white boys beat obvious rape charges. How can a woman feel safe on her own? I watched a show on Netflix the other night that covered two cases of raping drunk girls at parties and how they got painted as "sluts" by so many people rather than victims. It disgusts me. We need to teach our sons to be real men, not devious macho shitheads who see women just as sex objects. Parenting takes work and thought. Careful thought about what and how you teach your kids, and what example you set for them.

[@kevinmalone3210]

@@someonesomewhere1600 Why do you mention just so called white boys? Don't you know that different types of so called men from different races rape women? Not just whites.

[@kevinmalone3210]

Women in her situation, not that she was at fault in anyway, need to get rid of any kind of victim mentally, or just give up. Do something, get some help and be proactive to save your life! Even if it means resorting to street justice.

[@user-ij5tq6sp2x]

@@someonesomewhere1600 the guy in this case is literally not white lol

[@ivydickson7596]

Are you naive? If guns were allowed like the US, don't you think he would have a gun too and killed her still.

[@joycemarie9702]

This poor girl did everything she could, contacting the police, getting a PIN order against him, she let everyone know she was scared of him, she severed all communication with him…….living in perpetual fear !!! Terrible way to have to live and her last days of life must have been horrendous…..the terror she must of felt knowing he was there to kill her. Poor girl 😢

[@kevinmalone3210]

Yeah no doubt. Someone needed to step in and go after that scumbag, even if it meant killing him to stop this.

[@ParadymShiftVegan]

Don't leave your safety in the hands of others! Purchase a firearm, train with it regularly, and carry it with you!! There's no greater force equalizer and no greater chance at survival during an attack.

[@LiveForever13]

ParadymShift, Plant-BASED Ⓥegan Jedi unfortunately where Alice lives, in the uk, firearms are illegal. So all she could do would be self defence classes. Which unfortunately, probably wouldn’t have been enough x

[@orangehoof]

@@LiveForever13 Yeah, the weapon of choice is a knife. Too bad Harry had one.

[@SG-xy6hf]

@@ParadymShiftVegan you do realise that not everyone lives in America right? Most countries don’t just allow average people to carry firearms, it’s called civilised society.

[@sannahennerfors4833]

Being stalked is utterly terrifying! I had a stalker 9 years ago and I am so happy that I managed to get away from him! Rest in peace Alice! I’m sorry the system failed you so miserably!

[@annied1827]

So very sorry you had to go through thst, I was also stalked by my father I even changed my name and moved away, I know your maybe thinking her father that's nit too bad surely, you don't know my father let me put it this way I went to say happy Xmas in 92 and he hit me threw me to the floor ,trapped me under a dining chair and tried to slit my throat , my crime simple I said happy Xmas 🙄 he's a bloody nut case, phycopathic, sociopathic and a narcissistic bastard. He told me that if he found out I was talking to any of his family he'd kill them, knowing losing contact with my favourite aunt and uncle would break me. I dropped contact with all of them last year my favourite uncle hung himself and him doing that totally broke me and I decided I was not going to let my father control me anym8re and contacted my faveorite aunt we both cried she told ne off for dropping all contact over night but when I told her why I did it and I did it to keep her safe she looked so scared as she knew as well as I did he would do it and I gave her a choice if she wanted to stay in touch thus time. She tokd me none of the family talk to him and don't even know if hes even alive, she didnt want to lose me again so we decided to stay in touch. Not seen him for years however ge did used to knock on my door, hang around watching me, back then the police did what they could which wasn't much. I didn't want him anywhere near my kids especially my daughter ( he likes little girls ) so their schools had a copy if my mums old wedding photo he never changed and always looked the same and only 4 people had permission to collect them from school and only if I called to tell them first because 8 knew what he'd do if he found them, I did get a call one day saying someone who looked like him had been seen around the school so I told them not to let my kids outside that building and they couldn't go out at playtime which was happening in 5 minutes I told them keep them inside and have them together and a male teacher stay with them if needed lick the door and I'd be there as soon as I could, 20 minutes later I arrived in a taxi telling the driver who is a friend what was going on and asked him to stay and not leave and I'd be as quick as I could telling him if anyone asks anything about me don't say a word I always tip well so he was happy to do that. I went in and the teacher with them spoke to me telling me he was watching the kids and when he was asked to leave he said that's my granddaughter isn't she beautiful jyst like her mother at that age, it was so easy to get her to do as I asked I wonder if she will do the same what her name 😳 the teacher tokd him to leave or the police would be called, when I arrived I saw he was still there hiding behind the bushes. I told the school I was taking the kids with me and they were not going in for the next couple of days. Half term was to start the next week so I could figure out what to do next. The teacher walked me to the car and I saw him also get in his car, my driver told me he'd asked where he was taking me and if I'd mind if he could share the taxi uf we were going in the same area, my driver told him not a chance and I was going to a city over 30 miles away in hope it would take him off the scent he said there was no way he was telling him where I lived. While driving I noticed he was following I said to the driver am I been paranoid or 7s he following us he said idont worry I'm on it already were going on a detour to shake him off, wel we sure did go on a crazy detour as a drive that ysyally takes less than five minutes well it took nearly a hour !! We went down back roads, through streets I didn't know existed went round town 3 times even stopped at the poluce station to report him thinking that would stop him but it didnt he's nothing but persistent. My driver even offered to take us to his house but I told him no as that would put him and his partner kids in danger. We finally shook him off and he drove me home a trip that whould have normally cost me £10, £5 charge £5 tip if he'd charged me what was on the metre would have been over £100 but he didn't charge me that infact he was cross with me when I gave him £40 and told him keep the change as he was only going to charge me £30. The kids were told why we had a crazy trip home and that they were nit going back to school until after the holidays, I told my son he wasn't yo go out for a few days unless he was with others for his own safety he understood and agreed and asked if he could have his fried stay the week that way he wouldn't need to go our at all we agreed with us telling him that was a very mature response and that we are very proud of him for not acting like any normal 10 year would at that age when their plans of fun are stopped. He did hang around the school a couple of times after that but they told him to leave and if he didn't the police would be called and the kids were told not to go out and were kept inside both understood why and knew it was done to keep them safe. He disappeared and never came back but I still worry that one day he will turn up again. The kids schools were given strict instructions incase he ever turned up. Because of this I know the fear you went through, the knowing that person is out there and could be watching and you don't know when they will turn up again therefore you are left scared, paranoid and your always looking iver your shoulder. I'm so very pleased that you hit away and that you are safe. You should be very proud of yourself as what you did takes strength and courage which most peoole don't have I hope you are happy and well and that you safe. xx sorry this was so long 🙈

[@kimberlys8422]

The police failed her. The flowers and chocolates with the voicemail "I don't want to kill you. I don't intend to kill you" and she was dead the next afternoon because the cops were lazy and thoughtless. RIP to Alice and peace be with her family.

[@nataliepenna8618]

I remember when this happened, it was shocking, but police don't take stalking seriously enough until something like this happens. There was a similar case in East Sussex with a young woman murdered by an ex who stalked her, and the police treated her like she was a nuisance and did nothing for her. Poor Alice, her poor family, and her poor roommate who discovered her. Have you also read about the case of Samantha Medland? I used to work in her building. I remember turning up in the morning and seeing the evidence tent outside of the office. The atmosphere in work after her death for weeks. The despicable way people on social media wanted to go and support her murderer in court and said 'innocent until proven guilty' despite all the witnesses and that people tried to drag him off her body as he stabbed her. It was a shocking, vicious case, and the site of her blood spattered up the side of the building that day will haunt me forever.

[@tenaciousduk6587]

One woman that was later murdered by her stalker ex-partner was charged with wasting police time!!! It is disgrace. I agree whole heartedly with what you said.

[@songoku9348]

The police are fucking useless in this damn country.

[@PiXie232]

Damn… that’s absolutely insane. How awful. And there was people who still thought that he was innocent even when he was literally caught in the act?? People never cease to amaze me.. or disgust me.

[@UC-Jf_YAvw4Apbz-SAVM3p2A]

i believe its the same everywhere, for the police its like - no crime committed, there was no threat or harassment. 😢

[@nataliepenna8618]

@@PiXie232 his friends were sending messages to people asking if they would go and "support him" in court. Like, no? He's a murderer? He was literally caught in the act? He also did it at 8pm on a well lit evening in a city centre full of witnesses. Insane.

[@radmilatodorovic8335]

This case made me so angry. She did everything right, she broke up with him, she reported him and still she is dead. Something needs to be done with police and their reaction to stokers. Every time something like this happens and it happens a lot, they say they will do better and ofc they don’t. It’s maddening.

[@healingandgrowth-infp4677]

If police allow it to happen they too are responsible and murderers like the criminal

[@michelleclark3011]

@@healingandgrowth-infp4677 what are the police supposed to do, sit with her around the clock? They can't arrest someone until they break the law, the laws need to be tougher. Change the laws. Also, protect yourself! I live with two pittbulls, and I am armed, everywhere I go. Break into my house, you will leave in a bag!

[@bangersmash342]

@@michelleclark3011 You act like she didn't follow procedure to a T. A PIN was broken! That shoulf have raised alarm bells

[@gordonaliasme1104]

​@@michelleclark3011 some times the police ARE the problem. Remember Sarah Everard. Assaulted and murdered by a policeman.

[@patriciacurtis8990]

​@@michelleclark3011 he DID break the law. he violated a restraining order multiple times. she reported every time.

[@littlepowerpuff]

this is causing me to sob. she did everything she needed to and no one took her seriously. i’m so sorry, alice.

[@Scipio_Americanus]

No you didn't🙄

[@forgiveness78]

The system failed this poor kind, innocent young lady 100%!

[@m.k.6964]

This is one of the only few channels that has appropriate background music. The piano composition is chilling, hypnotic, and should be signature to this channel and not removed. I wonder if the host will ever reveal herself or more information about her. Her voice is amazing

[@m.k.6964]

@@charlalar14 they are brilliant, beautiful girls. Thank you

[@nickyandy8517]

She really dies have an amazing voice

[@swollentesticle420]

@@nickyandy8517 omg she really dies? 😳

[@Harris665]

@@swollentesticle420 😂😂😂😂

[@hotstuff400]

@@nickyandy8517 ikr? Her voice is like a magnet! But also the accurate and no running around the bush details, so amazing. What can you say about that channel with a guy narrator "That Chapter". What can you say about his voice? Hahaha

[@vintage1950]

What a nasty piece of work. Even during his trial, he tried to belittle her and her family 😡

[@chahanahegde4139]

We have played basketball together when he was back in India. This is crazy. When we found out about this it was so hard to wrap our heads around it. All the girls loved him and found him very attractive. He was jolly and friendly. It's so hard to believe how a few years can change a person so drastically.

[@ismayb754]

Second operator was terrible!!! "Do you want us to call you?" What? SHE just called YOU!

[@interestingvideos4me]

I think anyone who has had a restraining order issued against them should have their names entered into a database made available to the police. A restraining order is a significant red flag about someone's behavior and information about it could prevent a tragedy.

[@AngelaMerici12]

I thought it worked that way but apparently it doesn't, or it does and they were just lazy.

[@VladGrim]

And we have all these IT projects we pass on our final thesis that are supposed to help society but none of them are being promoted or published. Pretty sure there are plenty of tracking database projects out there that are just scrapped. Imagine how useful it would be

[@interestingvideos4me]

@@VladGrim And here is one of the (many) problems caused by the 'divorce' between academia and the world beyond its walls. It is important to bridge those two worlds...but that is another conversation!

[@lr6477]

Restraining order is more detailed than just a phone call. It's a formal complaint. If anyone wanted revenge on a guy they could easily PIN someone. Remember women do love to use manipulation tactics on men men do violence. Can't assume zero negative intent from women too, thus the protocols are in place.

[@interestingvideos4me]

@@lr6477 I understand your point and I think you are right to be concerned about the number of people who could weaponize the restraining order for vindictive purposes. Yet, I don't think this would be the majority of the cases. Considering the serious risk involved in the genuine cases where this instrument is used, we should perhaps accept that some of them will be faux orders and let the courts deal with people who have ill intent. I believe the risk is too high for those who need a genuine order in place and it should be available at large for anyone who needs it. In most places where the restraining order works the system is also prepared to investigate and punish anyone who exploits it no? What do you think?

[@BeardedDragon-pj3lw]

She did everything she could.. this is so so sad.. seeing her leave that car to go to her flat I got chills. The work her family is doing is amazing and it keeps her voice strong!! People need to take stalking seriously.

[@SantaCruzCowboy]

I agree I expected her to act like an American girl and do frick all but sure as anything…gets dropped at front for lock behind and lord help us all calls the non emergency line and try’s to explaine she is not lying she is the one girl who needs our help. And we can’t see her because every bass wipe girl out there calls lying all day long day after day….I’ll take that this girl over 100 of the loosers

[@someonesomewhere1600]

I did too BD. Those CCTV tapes often freak me out a bit because we know the person is walking to their death. It's very sad.

[@paulcronin3626]

Cops are no good.

[@MissaPality]

They are not going to let the loss of Alice be in vain. That is truly a profound way to honor her life and shows such strength and love.

[@christophergonzalez3111]

@@SantaCruzCowboy who hurt you?

[@hohohohehehe6910]

I had never considered this as premeditated murder until now, seeing that you said he'd taken a picture of her back window. I never before knew that piece of information.

[@shishiranair4095]

I am an India. I feel ashamed to know that a cruel Indian man has mercilessly killed an innocent and beautiful girl. He should rot in forever. I feel ashamed because of the men of my country. Some Indian men control and harass their partners so horribly. My heart reaches out to her family . He is a disgrace to India. India men living abroad must be kicked out of that country if they don't respect women. I am sorry Alice. RIP angel.

[@lind1520]

Just hearing her trembling voice when she called the police. How fragile she sounded, and so ... small. I feel a tight pain in my chest thinking about her and this nightmare she was living through before she died. The sleepless nights, her confiding in her family, friends, colleagues. Having to be driven to her flat. The fear. Wondering what he would do next. Probably unable to shower properly without worrying he may be waiting outside. Her housemate Maxine must also be so traumatised from this. I am absolutely heartbroken this happened to such a sweet, beautiful girl. Rest in peace, Alice ❤

[@Howiesgirl]

To the Truly Criminal channel: I hate to say that I always "enjoy" your videos, as they are about such tragic events, but I guess I could say they're truly interesting to me & always well done. However, I feel that with this story, you've gone above & beyond your usual to tell Alice Ruggles' terribly sad story. I don't know if her parents will see your video, but if they do, I'm willing to bet they'll feel that you've truly done a great job in sharing Alice's story. You left her dignity intact, which many tellers of these type stories fail to do. You did not sensationalize her killer, & kept this about the loss of a lovely, much loved, young woman. Pat yourself on the back for another job very well done. Be well.

[@TrulyCriminal]

Thank you so so much for your kind words, Darlene. That really does mean a lot to us ❤️

[@chelseatimmis7487]

Couldn't agree with this more. So many of these videos become about the killer, which must be so tough for the loved ones! I second the praise to the people who worked on this.

[@little76boo1]

Such a caring telling of an incredibly tragic story. I'm so upset Alice didn't get her voice heard. Xxx

[@supipek]

@@TrulyCriminal you should do the case of Julie van Espen, Belgium.

[@thedappercook]

@@TrulyCriminal agree. Incredible. Obsessed with this channel. Thanks!

[@shylanish4774]

Officially my new favorite channel. Keep the great videos coming !!

[@Ross-nd1eh]

You just got a sub from me for keeping it real as topics like this should be.. No fake dramatisation no click bait. Just straight talking facts. Great stuff👍

[@grf15]

Every time there is a documentary about a man killing his ex girlfriend because she broke up with him I want to scream. What is wrong with these people? The police did let this poor woman down. All the classic signs of stalking behavior and she did everything one could reasonably expect her to do. Yet, in the end. tragedy.

[@pc2555]

They're often authoritarian control freaks deep down that have a facade to fit in to normal society in public. In private they are usually abusive in a relationship as they see their partner more as property or that he is above them (hence why he made her depressed with his insults to the point she had to leave him). When they get rejected that is the ultimate insult to their authority and they cannot stand it in their minds it should not be allowed for their girlfriends to ever leave on their own accord it should be up to him. He probably obsessively thought about it every day and got angrier and angrier at her until he figured he has to either have her back or punish her so he can sleep at night. Thats what these type of people are truly like.

[@tresgooch]

This stalking behavior can be seen in both sexes.

[@bookywooky2259]

@@tresgooch Very rarely does that happen. It does happen...but no, don't try to flip this around. Statistically, it is men who stalk and kill their ex girlfriends and wives.

[@ameliel8792]

@@bookywooky2259 word.

[@kathrynshields8221]

The police let her down.........those who can't handle rejection are very dangerous!!

[@TawnyC_]

Poor girl. She was so sweet and polite.

[@carltonthepug]

You know her personally?

[@someonesomewhere1600]

I thought so too. There was something very sweet in her voice. But fear as well. She was obviously loved and brought up well. It is a tragic loss for everyone.

[@TawnyC_]

@@someonesomewhere1600 yes, she was afraid, but still stayed polite and thoughtful of others 😞

[@littlemissgwendolen1466]

“They’ll only respond when he stabbs me” Awful that she felt so terribly let down and left on her own by the police and worse, she was right. They only acted once he had killed her.

[@_.Sparky._]

Love this channel. Thanks so much for bringing less noted crimes and content to our awareness!! 👍👍

[@nolamonahan8764]

I'm so glad they teach young adults about red flags and abusive relationship what they should watch out for. I was in a abusive relationship for 13 years and then about another 5 years after I left I am still trying to put my life back together. It is very hard but so am I now.

[@jannamyers6792]

What I still have trouble understanding why he killed if he loved her

[@saraholly7633]

@@jannamyers6792 it's a case of if I can't have you no-one can!! Been through it all for around 15 years then went into an even worse relationship for another 3 years,im just trying to get out of this one now...

[@someonesomewhere1600]

Good for you, Nola. Teaching is so important. And I'm very sorry for what you went through. I am a trained counselor volunteer for a crisis line and I hear these things over and over. Sweet young women you can tell are decent and innocent, who've been battered saying "but I love him." It's tragic. I'm sometimes amazed that they can even discuss it with a man. Fortunately, our volunteer counselors are so caring.

[@Bunny11344]

@@jannamyers6792 he never loved her. That’s not love. That’s possessive, jealousy, obsession and control. Love my a-

[@silvi6820]

Hello... This case has been covered recently by another channel however your research & presentation of the story is by far the most comprehensive and well put together. I have said it before, you are a top crime channel & i appreciate the work & effort you put into each & every video. RIP Alice 🙏.

[@cait3827]

Totally agree. I feel like this channel always puts more of an emphasis on the victim than the perpetrator. In comparison to other coverage of this case, I feel I got a better understanding of who Alice was as a person not just as someone who was murdered.

[@RatTaxi]

Truly Criminal really is refreshingly well done in every respect.

[@kittyroars8758]

I couldn't help but notice during her mum's speech to the press, the mum said "we didn't think Alice was the sort of girl this thing happened to". There is no "sort" of girl it happens to. It can happen to anyone from any walk of life. It doesn't matter what you look like, the kind of person you are, educational background.....the blame is solely on the perpetrator, the monster that chooses to take your life. RIP, Alice

[@louisesullivan9828]

The narration in Truly Criminal is perfect.What a lovely reading voice and the stories of the Victims, very thoughtfully presented just love TC❤

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

I'll never understand taking someone you found attractive and doing everything you can to destroy the very things that attracted you to them. It's sick. It's evil.

[@werringertonney7489]

It’s jealousy, very weird

[@CelebiFTW]

Even after everything he put her and her family though, he still had to get some last digs in in his “confession”, saying she hated her family and referring to her father being unable to protect her in her last moments, truly evil.

[@Romanceguru]

I gasped when I heard that part. He should be in for life! She seemed like such a sweet girl who did not deserve to go out like that. .

[@orlamcmanus9019]

Yeah that was unbelievable and sick, what an impotent hatefilled person

[@sandralee8855]

Anyone that takes a life like this should never be allowed to see the light of day ever again...😡

[@randomvintagefilm273]

Gotta love these coward men who cheat on their girlfriends, then when the girl has had enough, THEN he decides she can't move on. The audacity of this man-child is mind-numbing. Parents are to blame for raising spoiled little boys who never get told no.

[@Sonny84586]

They said he would be arrested if he breached the PIN. She should’ve played that tape, and demanded his arrest. She needed an attorney too.

[@HoneyButterBiscuits]

That guy is daft! He traveled to New Castle to get "answers & closure" on a relationship that had already ended 🤨. Alice was not speaking to him & she notified police of his harassment. What other signals of SHE IS NO LONGER INTO YOU CREEP did he need to confirm their relationship was over? Smoke signals, a billboard ad, perhaps a sky-written message? He had no intention or desire to leave her alone, alive 😔.

[@delishaenvy2564]

I had an ex who showed all these signs. My family and friends warned me. I couldn't see it. It is truly terrifying to think that could have been me. I feel so angry that this poor girl wasn't listened to enough. I can't believe it. I'm just lost for words at the evilness in this story.

[@heather000burton]

It might have helped to contact his military commander directly. I’m retired U.S. Army myself and I know that if someone being stalked and harassed contacted the soldiers commander (along with contacting the police) that soldier would be dealt with immediately and seriously.

[@Donald909090]

He went there to murder her, what does it matter if he used a knife in her flat. It was premeditated murder. He should have been given death sentence or life with no parole. Maybe a mate in prison with carry out the death sentence!

[@madmack10g88]

There's a knife in every home somewhere, if he's breaking in as well as her reporting his stalking it's not rocket science he was out to kill and he could of overpowered her and strangled her as well being a male soldier. Facts are he broke Into her home and she's dead along with the stalking and they are saying it wasn't premeditated, that's not even mentioning her injuries what a joke.

[@Walamonga1313]

The commonwealth justice system is a literal joke. There's so many stupidly light sentences given in the UK, Australia... Scotland is no different. I seriously don't understand how light sentences are. I've seen people get 5-10 years for killing someone, how insane is that

[@healingandgrowth-infp4677]

@@Walamonga1313 my friend was murdered by her ex… he threatened to kill her 10 times she went to the police 10 times who turned her away saying nothing we can do until he kills you. This murderer only got 15 years n he is now out

[@someonesomewhere1600]

My guess, and it's only a guess, is that their laws have some technicality when deciding the degree of planning, as you suggest. Like he went there to confront her then went nuts rather than having a weapon already confirming premeditation. I think there is a difference but whichever way you cut it, the sentence is too light. And if he didn't get caught he would have done it again. Some of these bastards seem to be able to charm women at first.

[@someonesomewhere1600]

@@madmack10g88 Yes, I wondered about that. If he was cunning enough to plan to use a weapon in the home because it would "look different" in court. This guy seemed very conniving.

[@user-ps2mi9ze5v]

I really admire Alice's mom. It would be so easy to just drown in your grief, I know I would. Instead she's trying to do something to prevent this happening to another young lady. 22 years is not enough for murder. I hope he's never paroled. Rest in peace Alice. Condolences to her family and friends

[@someonesomewhere1600]

I agree. I don't think I'd stay sane if it happened to my son. It seems like she had really good parents. My sympathies to them.

[@mozzjones6943]

I'm always laughing at our justice system in the UK. But this one was a laser joke! He would have had 25 years till considered for parole, But because he didn't go equipped and picked up a weapon after entering her house, It got lowered to 22... I'm side splitting here! Seriously, Fuck the law! Jesus Christ man 🤯. 22 or 25 is a joke anyway, Dudes like this psyche-ass should NEVER have a chance of getting out simple as that! God help me I don't understand those twats in the justice system sorry rant over.

[@spacemonkeypantz]

The hopelessness in her voice at the end of the call to report the breach of the PIN is just heartbreaking 😔

[@Wendy-rl3vy]

Thank you so much for covering Alice's story, following my tweet to you guys, you've done her story great!! Rest Easy gorgeous girl ❤️❤️

[@TrulyCriminal]

Thank you for recommending her case! ❤️

[@gillian7519]

Rest in peace dear Alice. A beautiful life needlessly lost because of one selfish, narcissistic individual who couldn't take no for an answer. And unfortunately there are many more like him.

[@ThatGingerHannah]

This is so frustrating. Poor Alice. People can be so insane, I swear.

[@gingergranttech]

Relax it happens to men too

[@FF-bj5vy]

@@gingergranttech yeah but that's not the point of this case in particular is it?

[@janicester]

@@gingergranttech what does that have to do with Alice getting murdered?

[@anablogs9284]

@@gingergranttech if women killed men as often as men kill women, there would be a lot less people in this world. Her killer is a pathetic excuse for a man.

[@mydogsteppedona4431]

@@gingergranttech men have to chill with the MGTOW insanity. No one brought up men or women in the first comment.

[@claredavies21]

The fact that this could of and should of been prevented is an absolute joke. I’m one of the luckier women that managed to get out. Not without years of stalking, threats and violence. I was 24 and had a new baby. This makes me sick that people don’t get the help straight away to prevent devastating stuff like this. RIP Alice may you fly high with the angels ♡︎

[@bubblegumpop99]

This infuriates me so much. She did everything right!! She cut contact, and informed police right away. I hate that police refuse to do anything as long as it's not directly "threatening." Stalking is threatening! Let's not wait until after it's too late. We need better systems in place.

[@dillonhillier]

Did she get a gun? If not, than not everything.

[@vecnagreyhawk78]

The phone operator really needs to pay attention.🤨

[@deborahday1786]

Seriously. That was so frustrating to listen to.

[@wonkydonkey8349]

when he said that she 'belonged' to another man now.... that is so disturbing and the main reason there is so much violence against women by male partners. Women are not objects. We are not your possessions. We are human beings and yet society doesn't portray us that way. There is something really wrong with society.

[@chelee9261]

It's not the society's fault. But it's the person's fault. Male narcissist.

[@randylalrinsanga3078]

feminazi

[@randylalrinsanga3078]

Not all men are like that. STOP with this generalisation bullsh*it. Not all women are nice as well.

[@Angelstar7774]

@@randylalrinsanga3078 no you should STOP with the effing denial of the reality we have to deal with!

[@ndonvictor4512]

@@Angelstar7774 let men rest .. bitter feminist.. we mourning someone the system failed here,who regardless of taking all the measures to stay safe.. ended up losing her life to a psychopath.. take your toxicity somewhere else and leave men alone

[@jenniferbailey5914]

I’ve been down this road and at first the cops didn’t believe me until I filed for a TRO. The magistrate that heard my case was so shocked with the evidence I provided he advised me to move away and change my identity because even with the order my life was in danger. I did what he said and I will be forever grateful for his advice.

[@JimmyFoxhound]

I'm so glad the life of an innocent young woman is considered worth only 22 years in prison. That is just straight up INJUSTICE!! That guy should be drawn and quartered. I'm so sick of hearing about these 'life' sentence for murders who can get parole in 20 years. Insane. He should at least serve a life sentence and the cops who ignored her pleas for help and did nothing for her should serve 20 years in prison.

[@selinaali9367]

I was victim of a ex stalker, he would call me and leave these threatening messages. He was into some black magic and use to cover my front door in blood and animal remains. Enough was enough I begged the police case officer to only call him directly with the number showing. He made the call and gave him a piece of his mind. Since then my psychopath ex left me alone and did not dare come any near me again. It only takes someone to emasculate him. Thank you officer for helping me out. Wish there is more like you to prevent tragedies like this from happening.

[@rhenvao2844]

Sounds like he was the definition of a paper tiger. He liked to act tough to someone he thought wouldn't fight back but folded like a lawn chair the instant he came across someone who wasn't afraid of him and would deal with him if need be. All it takes is for the right people to give enough of a damn to make these kind of people crumble.

[@masudahmed6029]

From the black magic did you get any problems from the jinn or spirits. I was affected by blackmagic before

[@EloraSelah]

@@masudahmed6029 prayer helps I guess to protect u from such stuff.

[@deliamartinex2710]

I had a neighbor that would drive slow in front of my house when I was outside...he did it so many times it was annoying..then one time he drove his car up to my drive way..trying to hit this dog that would stay out side my garage..that is what. He told police officers when they came to my house ..that he was after the dog...then he did it again..I called the police..they came..when to his house..and knock on his door..he would not answer..the officer came back to me and said ..you call us again..if he comes up your drive way..anyway..my boyfriend..decided one time to hide behind the tree in front of my house..when that man..was driving in front of my house very slowly again..he came out screaming at him..telling him he was going to beat him up...the guy drove to his house..that was on the corner and stayed in the truck..he would not come out..cause my boyfriend was standing in the middle of the street..screaming at him...that I was not alone..that I had a man to protect me..I got home ..and we waited outside and he just stayed in his truck!! He never bothered me again!!!!!!!!!

[@cait3827]

She was so beautiful. This was heartbreaking. Can’t even imagine how terrified she was 😢

[@TheCAPTAINDESTROYER]

You’re right

[@BeardedDragon-pj3lw]

I got so teary. Poor sweet girl. So lovely and such a bright future

[@BeardedDragon-pj3lw]

@@bruggeman672 oh don’t make drama for no reason. She was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. Stop looking for arguments. I hate comments like that. So bloody annoying and unnecessary

[@BeardedDragon-pj3lw]

@@bruggeman672 you clearly have some weird chip on your shoulder about something but don’t attack people for saying nice things about a victim. It makes you look very very ignorant.

[@BeardedDragon-pj3lw]

@@bruggeman672Go and talk to yourself I have so many better things to do with my day than engage with people like you. You have no argument and to call someone shallow for calling someone beautiful, when that could and would be way more than just appearance based, shows how narrow minded you actually are.

[@chopperharris32]

Great job highlighting this heartbreaking and tragic case R.I.P Alice

[@ashleyhoffman4117]

what a lovely polite well spoken young lady

[@MrPmcMcMental]

What is wrong with people? He can’t handle being apart from her and wants to kill her but is arranging to meet another woman on Tinder the same night ? Poor woman !

[@historyboff23]

I cried at this one, the police let her down massively. It’s so frustrating to think that women are still not being listened too when they feel in danger.

[@lr6477]

Why do emergency operators frustrate me so! They never inform the caller that they're arranging a cop to come around and the caller sounds frantic for help then they proceed to ask dumb questions to upset the person! "has there been things knocked about in the bathroom?" making her repeat everything she's said and not keeping up with the story about the ex boyfriend! Hardly a good tactic to ease her mental state!

[@mms21-]

Stalkers are terrifying and should never be taken lightly.

[@DeeDerry]

I cant believe he only got 22 years...Well I can, but its outrageous 😡 He'll still have a life when he gets released.

[@someonesomewhere1600]

I feel he will get less. I'm not sure how meaningful minimums are in sentencing. It seems there are many early paroles. Mind you, if the person is clearly reformed and they didn't commit a violent crime, it might be a good thing. But as it stands, sentences tend to be a sick joke. This guy strikes me as dangerous for life. He didn't show remorse. Just wanted to save his own butt and going on treating women like crap.

[@kevinmalone3210]

22 yrs is the minimum. It also said for his sentence, 22 yrs to life. So it's possible he won't be let out even after 22 yrs.

[@DeeDerry]

@@kevinmalone3210 Do you live in the UK? He'll be out to live the rest of his life believe me

[@ronishshrestha7111]

@@DeeDerry....

[@ronishshrestha7111]

@@kevinmalone3210 deserves

[@cdd4248]

I believe recognizing corrosive and controlling behaviors should be mandatory in all high-school health classes.

[@samsamcupcakes6476]

Love is blind...

[@someonesomewhere1600]

That's an interesting point. I think our schools don't teach the right things at all. I don't remember shit from high school, TBH. But I do remember people whose words and actions impressed me.

[@saraalbouji]

@@samsamcupcakes6476 hormones are retarted

[@FirstPeterr]

If anyone gets this obsessed with you after a break up you must keep protection on you at all times, tell the trusted males in your life, be stern when you let the other person know you want nothing yo do with them and be alert. If the keep it up you might have to physically send them the message. Some people won't stop until you get physical or send someone to get physical. Stay alert.

[@daftblondegeordielass9818]

I live less than 100 yards away from the flat where this horrific crime happened and every day when I walk by my heart sinks at the thought of what this poor lady went through 😢

[@peachesc.9078]

What a deranged narcissistic monster! Far too many good women have perished unnecessarily at the hands of these psychotic sociopaths lately.

[@gemmabreckell]

This is now my favourite channel - your voice is perfect

[@catman8670]

Stalking is such a common problem and it doesn’t always end well

[@SnowWhite717_]

It’s beyond frustrating when the police don’t take these cases seriously or act swiftly to protect people who are already terrified, especially when they perpetrator already had a history of complaints of harassment and stalking. This is such a tragic loss of a beautiful, intelligent and loving young lady. Condolences to her family and friends.

[@1985Autumn]

I’m a big fan of this channel from Japan. Especially your narration! Here in Japan, similar things often happen… Police doesn’t really do anything until actual murder or attack occurs. Poor Alice, rest in peace.

[@anitaknight3915]

Same here in the U.S. There needs to be stronger laws in place and education with stalking across the world!!!! Too many women are dying and being failed by the judicial system with domestic violence & stalking.

[@YYAT]

So his defense was : she attacked me with a knife and in the process accidentally slit her throat 6 times.

[@katyburns9758]

Yes, a really watertight explanation for the evidence…🤦‍♀️

[@samsamcupcakes6476]

Disgusting even in his words. And a lawyer let him say that. Ridiculous and unrespectful...

[@oAgL214]

... AND proceeded to cause 24 wounds to her body. Overkill, meaning rage behind it. It wasn't self defense but premeditated murder.

[@samsamcupcakes6476]

@@oAgL214 And what is infuriating is that he only got 22 years in prison for that!!!

[@mukenabali650]

Really make sense... right? LOL

[@carolinachickfrombrooklyn664]

This is the best channel. Thanks for all the content

[@rmsiq148isstruggling3]

Nothing hurts a parent more than seeing their children gone before them :( Rest in Peace dear Alice

[@pimpindymepiece]

In college I had someone stalk me and it was one of the scariest situations of my life. He would call me whenever I was out and would say he knew where I was (would give the location) and said he sent a group of ppl there to beat me up. When I told the police they did nothing. I had to call a cousin of mine to handle it & I luckily never heard from the guy aGain. Hearing her call time & time again trying to get help broke my heart. The lack of police doing anything to protect Alice and others like her is sickening

[@ronjames4151]

I feel ya. I'm glad you got past that. I dont know the plight of being a woman but I worry about my wife all the time

[@marksanchez8055]

Guys like this clearly demonstrate the need for capital punishment everywhere,

[@nobodykillsthecrazycatlady2743]

In the UK he can be out in as little as 12 to 13 years. Depends on what the judge gives him for a minimum. In the US he'd get life. WOW he really ticked the judge off!

[@marcofava]

I'm against capital punishment for one single reason: For monsters like this killing them would be a mercy, how else are they going to suffer after you killed them? As a taxpayer i don't mind part of my hard earned money goes to keeping monsters locked up so that they can at least live with their crimes and whatever guilt, if any, they must and will feel. Capital punishments i feel would only embolden such crimes in the sense that if they know they'll die anyway if they get caught more criminals would be willing to kill

[@no_peace]

You don't have to enact capital punishment to protect people from predators. They didn't do *ANYTHING* TO HELP HER. There's a gulf between doing NOTHING and using the death penalty on people

[@Mira-gu6we]

@@marcofava this piece of s**t will goto his parents country and arrange marry some unfortunate soul.

[@alexm.7295]

Yea public executions so that other predators can watch in fear of what will happen to them if they do the same.

[@JanNan]

Thank you, I have watched a few of your videos now and will watch more, But the one thing that strikes me about your channel, is it is all about the victims, you are well researched and your empathy is heart felt, your voice is also very calming, but matter of fact. Again Thank you

[@katcardenascruz]

I’ve been stalked before and this is no fucking joke. If someone you know is scared from being stalked LISTEN to them and HELP and ADVOCATE for them and their safety. I truly felt my life was at risk. It’s so terrifying, it made me ill and left me with PTSD. I hope people continue to learn from Alice’s case. She should be here. RIP Alice.

[@tylerskiss]

What guy hasn’t given a girl “I’m not going to kill you” flowers!? It’s the “your house won’t be burnt down, I promise” cookies that you need to look out for!

[@Jolenesmart1980]

Haha I know ! Or the “ I won’t take your eyeballs out with a Rusty spoon” teddy too

[@picklep9812]

What a freakin kind officer on the phone...the first cop was

[@Joxman2k]

I personally have had that stalking/harassing mindset after a break up. When it was happening I was distraught and could not see how my behavior was affecting the person I loved. Everybody is capable of those feelings after a break up. Thankfully I had a good support system and was able to move on. After reflection I was horrified with my behavior. I didnt do anything really bad, but I certainly understand the feelings, and how someone could go really offside. I honestly saw nothing wrong with my behavior at the time. That is scary. If you have recently broken up and are messed up from it talk with anyone who will listen. Family, friends, counselors etc. It does help you sort through your feelings, and even see how your behavior is affect the one you purport to love. Do not hurt them with your actions. Put a period and heal. To those who are the recipients of this harassing behavior DO EVERYTHING to sound the alarm. Do not exaggerate, but be honest. Get protection. The person doing it may not even realize what they are doing is wrong, even if you have said so. Outside help is essential for your protection, and for them to move on. They may never be violent, but you DON'T KNOW, and neither will they.

[@refugeofthoughts8870]

It’s awesome that you can be honest with yourself. A lot of people can’t look at themselves.

[@Joxman2k]

@@refugeofthoughts8870 It was very strange. All of my actions seem completely reasonable to me. When I healed and looked back on it, it was like it was completely different person did those things. A distraught person cannot see outside of their own pain. It is not possible. They might be able to understand it intellectually, but cannot see and feel it. Forgive people who are upset and acting in a hurtful way. It is like they are wearing a hood and someone is poking and pushing them. I was never violent. I just wanted her to understand. If she could see it from my perspective things would be different. When you are alone and upset your thoughts just roll around and take on a life of their own. Talking, or speaking them, or writing them, or drawing them, or singing them, helps you see the flaws or reality of what is going on. It also releases them and gets them unstuck. One of the things I learned, while being alone, is that listening to music that seems to match my feelings helped make them real. I am able to change the music to more hopeful ones when I am sad :) Look at all of the music that is dedicated to broken hearts. There is a reason for that. I still love the person I was in a relationship with, but the relationship was just not right for either of us. I wish her well in life, and I hope she has found all that she was looking for. It was definitely a growing experience for me. I connected back with her years later and apologized. We had both fond and not so fond memories of our relationship. We did not start up with a continued friendship as we had both moved on. It is also hard to change an established past relationship to something completely better, as the old cycles are there and just lying dormant. It would take both of us to be completely on board, and aware of them to change it. Sorry for the longish post :P

[@tesstickle6462]

I love how yall end every video off with the memory of the victim and the family. This channel is one of the best. Thank you for the excellent content 👏