A REAL TRADWIFE REACTS (Episode 5): “The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent”

[@pixelparable]

Love that you mention all the grandparents who aren't involved with their actual grandkids... Which is so sad.

[@74mie]

Gen Z here: lots of us are rejecting the expectation of kids too. Our whole lives we were drilled, ‘Kids will ruin your life! Don’t get pregnant! If you can’t afford them don’t have them!’ And now our parents are freaking out that their 20+ year old children aren’t making them grandparents 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@74mie]

I want kids though in the future despite this

[@BlendedBarbieDoll]

Elder millennial here, my parents drilled to not have kids for the same reasons. I almost allowed it to ruin my choices. I have done everything to be different from them and life differently financially and break generational curses. I’m tired, it’s not easy but i believe family even if mine didn’t.

[@tsrocks2029]

I’m almost 30 and have kept putting off having kids because I’ve been worried about the economy or trying to buy a home first. My husband and I finally decided we’re gonna just go for it and stop being afraid. We never have wanted to ask for help and pretty much never have, but we are going to shoot our shot and see if any of our family would like to help us buy a house. If not, okay we will make it work. I’m excited for us, but I’m also very excited for our families as well and the change they’ll get to experience. The next generation has not been started in either of our families yet and we’re excited to begin that ❤️ we’ve been rebuilding our family relationships and are optimistic that our siblings , parents, etc will want to come over and be involved with our baby.

[@dianaaugustine5438]

Hi Cynthia, I’m in the same place you are. I stay home with my two young children and have recently decided to pursue a larger family to create and foster more of a support system. I’m fortunate to have supportive family who often help with childcare, but I had never realize the importance of extended family until having my children. I’ve seen how my parents transformed into doting grandparents and I wish that for myself in the future. I understand the frustration of my peers as they see opportunities their parents had slipping from their grasp, but my sympathy is limited. I was heavily involved with refugees through my church and saw how these people built families through poverty and war. They endured hardships I can only imagine. When they came here, they couldn’t believe how good they had it. If they think this is a great time and place to have kids, I believe them. I feel blessed to live in a developed country where I have food, water, sanitation, and a roof over my head, no matter how large or small. I have hope in God and in the future, so I will continue to trust him and have children as I am able.

[@tocodreams5910]

You make me feel so much less alone with my values, thank you for giving me hope that there are more women like me out there and it's possible to find likeminded people who understand nuance ❤

[@_C_3737]

Love the video topic! I consider myself a “zillennial” due to my age and it’s almost a luxury to try and be a housewife and mother! When I was in my early twenties I thought I was going to be a career woman. I feel like I wasted all that time and racked up debt when I could have been preparing to be a housewife and mother. Now that I do want this traditional life I realize how much work it can take. My goal is to have a big family but I need to get healthy/loose weight and financially right so that way I can quit my job after they are born and stay home with them. I def will raise my kids to be in a good place so when they grow up they can do the same in the future! Also, I am praying for your future baby number 3 to be an enjoyable pregnancy!

[@CynthiaL]

I know what you mean and it’s a shame that it’s become a “luxury” when it truly shouldn’t be! A lot of us also grew up with a similar story to yours and now having to learn skills that weren’t taught to us. Thanks girl, about the well wishes🩷

[@lilystar11]

As a mom with two littles as well the kid noises in the background is like white noise to me lol!

[@CynthiaL]

@@lilystar11 that’s the grace I was hoping ppl watching would give me 😆. You all are (mostly) moms too, so you get it lol!

[@brittanykintzel9775]

I think a lot of people want to live beyond their means. I totally agree that woman shouldn't be dismissed when mentioning they may not want kids, however I think a lot of the time the excuses they use are within their grasp to fix. I love the idea of doing videos on finances. Me and my husband started listening to Dave Ramsey a few years ago and he totally changed our lives. I am able to stay home with my 2 boys because of all the work we did in advance. I love your videos and your input ❤

[@brittanykintzel9775]

Just wanted to throw in that I totally get being unsure about kids when you don't have family help. I am fortunate to have so much help from family and I couldn't imagine being completely alone in this

[@millennialodyssey5956]

I don't have family to help and I agree with you 100%. Many of the people I've met that were older people did not in fact have help when they got married young and had more kids than people do now. And they were just fine and always the ones I loved asking questions and getting advice from. Tenacity isn't a gift it's only created in a person or people through overcoming the struggle and it's a beautiful thing to me. Older generations were pretty self sufficient even when things got hard they figured it out. Not saying that people should have to live that way but it's an entitlement to me to think that in order to be a happy parent you need to have a support group or other people helping you raise your children. We've only just recently had people help us after a life emergency. But we've had them before when no one helped us and we figured it out as a family. We are so thankful for that help this time around but from the start we had already rolled up our sleeves ready to get through it alone as a family. You have to be strong enough, wise enough and have full faith in God that no matter what life throws at you can and will take care of your family and get through it together.

[@CynthiaL]

@@brittanykintzel9775 that’s a good point. I think we are accustomed to many “luxuries” that really aren’t necessary to live a happy life. I’ve heard good things about Dave Ramsey, despite some of the critics. I think sometimes people think it has to be “all or nothing” when following advice, but it really helps to keep an open mind to whatever ressources can make it possible. You are so smart to have prepared in advance to stay home with your kids

[@ShannonAlexis96]

Wow speaking of malls, last week I was at my parent's house watching home videos and it was Halloween 1992 and my parents were with my brother at the mall and they were trick or treating! Like the mall put on a family trick or treat event and there were tons and tons of kids and families all around. I was shocked! I've never seen a family friendly event held in a public space like that in my adult life.

[@orchidswithnina]

I completely agree with you, Cynthia. Our generation will be more supportive of their children and understanding. Boomers could pay off their mortgage here in the UK within 5 -10 years back then ! It's really different now, and we want to give our children that help where we can. Try not to be selfish so that we can afford to be a one income household, so I can give my entire focus on to my children and save for our kids and give them experiences. I think that Gen Z & Milenials also have that added pressure of social media to blame for all the things we are "suppose to have" the perfect home, the perfect facade and it's not the reality of the economy and times we live in. House prices have risen but the wage hasn't. So we need to be realistic and make the best of what we have. God bless you Cynthia and your lovely family. Nina xx

[@ChristinaOurWoodHome]

I'd love to know what article you are referencing. Without knowing the details, I can still offer my two cents🙃 My parents are Gen X, and were 20 and 24 when I was born. They struggled a lot financially when I was growing up, as did many families back then. I have to wonder if that is part of the reason so many of us in our 30s are choosing not to have kids, because they don't want the same struggles. My situation is different though, because I WANT children and am unable to have them. I do sometimes feel guilt over not being able to give my parents and in laws grandchildren, because our siblings don't want kids.

[@CynthiaL]

I realized I forgot to post the original article! I just did in the description. I was more so captivated by the comments on Reddit, KZbin etc about this article and the feedback others were giving. I’m sorry you can’t have children but you want them, life is sometimes so unfair😭🩷.

[@vfrank222]

Never been this early, what a blessing to start my morning off with you!

[@CynthiaL]

@@vfrank222 goodmorning!! Love seeing your comments 🩷🫶

[@vfrank222]

Also I love your take on this. As someone who does want children, I probably would’ve already had them by now if it hadn’t been for the current economy - so if anything I think people who want to are delaying having families

[@rosebradshaw8853]

Preach girl! You're right on!

[@SavannahJRael]

Love this❤️ where is your sweater from?!

[@reneedussault4912]

❤❤❤❤❤tante Nene xxxxxx

[@TheWellNourishedHomemaker]

Lovely video ❤

[@jeanbb3283]

❤

[@roseslavender7844]

Stop... You described things perfectly. 🫣

[@Melody-hz6cx]

❤