A Reminder for Parts in OSDD/DID (because it's December)

[@soniacz3829]

Hey all parts! It is difficult time of the year but it’s 2024. 2024. Now is 2024. You are valuable. You are worthy of love and support. You didn’t, still don’t and never will be deserving anything other than kindness and empathy. And once again it’s 2024. Today is 2024.

[@thectadclinic]

This absolutely nails it.

[@screamingminnow920]

the repeating of the year was lowkey so grounding thank you

[@earnestlanguage4242]

One year recently I had my dogs traveling with me and had to take them outside on leashes every few hours. It was great! It was cold, fresh air, no people, some walking, quiet, just what we needed to recover. This year I'll do outdoor breaks every 3 hours just for myself. ❤

[@toclownornot]

we come from a family that is unsupportive at best and emotionally abusive at worst, and it's made christmas and especially gift-giving and recieving very difficult for us. this year is the first christmas we're spending without them, we'll be spending the holidays with the host's boyfriend and his family, who have been accommodating, patient and understanding of our DID and PTSD. cheers to a better holiday season and our recovery!

[@seans9203]

We know why and it is difficult - thank you for recognizing this is/can be a rough ride. I dissociate for most of it. The unfortunate consequence is missing the joys and giggles of my/our grand children. Thank you once more Dr. Lloyd - you are a valuable voice here online. We imagine the ripples from your advice/guidance/love travel far - definitely all the way to Vancouver, Canada

[@laurag7936]

It’s really hard when while what happened then is not happening now, but you are still in the same family situation and have not been able to separate from it. What’s happening now continues to be traumatic (but different to how it was as a child) and you feel trapped/unable to escape. Dissociation ramps up and caretaker parts kick in, amnesia increases too because there’s less and less internal communication (to protect yourself from what’s happening)… it’s absolutely exhausting while attempting to continue to function (work) and live up to the expectations of “Christmas” for everyone around you, when what you actually want is to disappear… Trying to heal or survive while still connected to the people/environments that caused the pain and splitting is so difficult. But the consequences of refusing contact with those family members are too great… so in reality we continue to torture ourselves… My ability to keep functioning is crumbling at the moment, the added pressure of those things on top of trying to heal, work and live… combined it’s looking/feeling like being on the edge of burnout. Therapy is very important. Unfortunately, 50mins a week (of course with gaps too) is just not enabling us to feel safe enough to fully engage… with time running out because the mental health system expects people to be “better” within their set timeframes… I’m terrified of being labelled as “not engaging” or “too avoidant” again (especially as this has been support from what’s supposed to be the specialist service that can treat OSDD/DID). If I want longer sessions they have to be less frequent… it’s a catch 22 (with the irony of being a professional in the same Trust too). Gearing up for the exhausting process of having to challenge for an onward referral to a more specialist service and having to start again (again) and the system saying that because I function well enough, I’m not in need of that (expensive) referral…

[@missequestrian3448]

This is painfully relatable. Feeling trapped like my illness disables me to an extent I’m stuck in something I cant escape anymore. I’m lucky to have a good therapist and I hope if nothing else you find a break with a therapist, or some sort of mental health support that will help a tad.

[@mmim7476]

❤

[@Alex_Melachi]

Thank you for this. Just today, I got absolutely, horrendously triggered by something that some others would consider to be ridiculous. I spent a solid two hours in a dissociative state and “came back” crying my eyes out. December is hard for us, but we’re going to try to make this one work for us, one day at a time. Love to all who struggle, and remember: safety is the key. Keep yourselves safe, you are appreciated 💖

[@rasscass5894]

I find Christmas a bit difficult for a different reason. I ended up estranged from my family (it was necessary for my safety) so these days I'm alone for Christmas and it can feel lonely and seeing all the families and adverts is a reminder that I don't have one. Some of my child parts don't really understand There is a kind of grief. Thank you for remembering it can be a difficult or mixed time of year for some people and posting this video.

[@mariaz.-k.3546]

The Christmas season is very difficult for me. My childhood with my parents was terrible, except for Christmas! Those were the only days of the year when my parents tried to be nice. That was my source of survival the following year. I distanced myself VERY much from MY PARENTS after I left home, only speaking on the phone on holidays. That was enough to make me feel bad for a while. My father died the day before Christmas last year. For the last 18 years I celebrated Christmas with my children and it was easy for me to avoid my parents. But this year my mother is alone and I have to be strong and selfish and stay at home. It makes me sad though, because the Christmas of my childhood was nicer than the Christmas now with my children in puberty. When the children were small, I didn't miss anything, our Christmas was nice too. I find it hard to cope with the fact that the Christmas season now makes me doubly sad

[@mmim7476]

😢❤

[@janeappleton8357]

Thank you such a timely and supportive message. Even after very many years some of my safe family and my friends do not understand why anyone would want to hide from the festive period. We havent yet managed to create a new and personal experience of C that doesnt hold any trauma memories.... its a work in orogress!

[@meepsheep4259]

Fortunately, most of my Christmases as a child were ok (just a bit cold and hungry at times), but my first boyfriend when I was 17-19 abused me a lot and the worst was Xmas eve and then the next year just a few days from Christmas. I get anxiety every year at this time because of that. I try to throw myself into the Christmas spirit to counteract all the negative emotions and thoughts, and to get the little parts excited. It mostly works, but it's always there at the back of my mind.

[@foolspyrite8534]

Thanks Doc. Its been so difficult to handle pretty much every holiday, but the way this community chatters in the comment section, and the way your information gets corroborated by other experts and our personal experience, i learn a lot here. I finally have a thread to pull on for why holidays are such a struggle. Its 2024. 2024 indeed. Thank you Dr Lloyd!

[@amiiwaa-c2v]

Thank you so, so much for this awesome video. You don't know how much it helps. This channel makes me feel so seen and understood and is very helpful. It's really great.

[@thectadclinic]

I'm so glad!

[@imjustjules]

Someone said “no its 2013” so that’s telling. That’s our traumaversary. We don’t like to selves orient bc we’ve tried and it was destabilizing. Had some bad experiences with a therapist recently too so feeling rly unstable and bad. Thank you for this. This time of year rly sucks.

[@ebonykimball6579]

Amazing to drop something like this at this time of year. For me, Christmas isn't the problem it's New Years but as they're so close together, this is perfect timing. Thanks for the reminder Dr Mike and for all the work you do ❤

[@brittanywilcox7377]

Merry Christmas!!! I won't be seeing my family because they suck, but that's okay!

[@notmydidea]

We were dreading this year, not expecting much of a celebration since we're still stuck with our bio dad and mom's low contact... it was gonna be lonely but our brother invited us over for some days. Everyone in our system loves him so much and while he doesnt celebrate (and we arent sure if wed celebrate much/how either), we're thankful to not be alone that day. Being with him is arguably the best christmas gift he couldve made us and we feel safer going into these days after the past months have been even more rougher than usual. Next xmas we'll hopefully be moved out but its good to know that this year we'll be safe

[@souleater.x]

Thank you for this, we needed to hear this...especially my younger part

[@stanfordpines972]

this means sm to me, thank you ctad clinic for making me not feel so crazy

[@boneitch]

This made me realise how useful it is for us to watch content about this subject in another language than our mother tongue. Even though I am fluent in English, there's still this small distance between the word in Dutch and the word in another language. We're currently in Norway to celebrate the holidays with our fiance and his family. Normally, I'd be doing way worse by now. And even though there's loads of reminders of the season everywhere around me, it is different *enough* that it doesn't sink in to those of my parts that are deeper and would get more upset. I can't tell if that won't happen at all, or if it's just a delayed reaction. But it's good to realise how this language and culture shift helps with the immediate trauma response.

[@Michael_X313]

That's kind and auspiciously intuitive. 🖖

[@brettalexander6270]

This is always a difficult time for us because we love this time of year but at the same time this time of the year hasn't always been great in the past. I have two younger siblings that stay with their parents, and unfortunately as I've spent time away from the parents, I've realized they weren't very much help to me and definitely made things worse/father was the one that abandoned us in the first place that left us alone with birth giver for 14 years. It's hard dealing with flashbacks and telling myself that it's okay because it's not okay, but at the same time I love my half siblings so much and I try my very best to be present for them, even though father and step mother make me dissociate. I've put trust in the other parts/alters in the past to figure it all out without knowing that's what it was, but this is our first Xmas knowing about each other. I'm choosing to put in trust again but the panic and distress is causing certain ones of us to influence that don't normally. All that to say, thank you for the reminder, and thank you to the community for showing me I'm not alone in this. ❤️

[@fredontime]

Strength and Blessings, Peace and Love 🙏

[@flashread]

All of me really needed this. This is such a hard time of the year. I can’t do Christmas. The nightmares and panic attacks are so bad now. Luckily I have my therapist and we are currently working on a safe plan for Christmas. This video was also really helpful. Thank you.

[@warriorgirl946]

Thank you so much 🎉! A great reminder for all of us. ❤

[@thectadclinic]

You are so welcome

[@juleslough638]

Thank you for doing this video. It was helpful. This holiday season has been really hard. We're very symptomatic but we have been supported by our therapist. Grounding in the present and taking it one moment at a time.

[@leialuminous]

Finally got a diagnosis, new to understanding my system but my little has been super active lately and I keep finding myself having time slips again. I would love to love the holidays again for future non-bio kids, but for now, I'm okay with being gentle and soft with myself while I go through a particularly rough season. Stay strong everyone, it's okay to not be okay, especially if your families were abusive around the holiday season!

[@KatherineWeed-p1r]

Thank you for this. So much. Really needed it, and it landed for me.

[@screamingminnow920]

Cried. Thank you 🫶🏻 This is a new Christmas :)

[@emmalyckajacobsson590]

Thank you for warning about the word/name of this holiday. There are so many memories and emotions mixed. The dekorations can be so beautiful and the vomit just next to them. Sad.

[@mmim7476]

😢❤

[@mmim7476]

Its not happening now. Thank you for reminding us. I am preparing our young parts by having a few peaceful and nurturing days by the sea prior to the festivities. All will be well.

[@thectadclinic]

Wonderful!

[@theodors666]

Thank you so much for this 💙 We hate Christmas simply because it was never a pleasant experience, but we‘re trying to set boundaries and make it more and more comfortable. We‘ll give celebrating with our family another go this year, if it doesn‘t work out well then we‘ll have a cozy Christmas with friends from then on (:

[@ichi_san]

thanks for this.

[@jacintaphillips1439]

Thank you for the reminder ☺️

[@olivefusse483]

Thank you thank you thank you 🎄

[@sad_doggo2504]

I think we've made it through the worst of it (late November to early December) but this is a lovely message to add to our self-care arsenal

[@amberandmarble9219]

Thank you Dr Mike 🙂

[@princessodonata2729]

Thank you so much 💖

[@Anellys_]

Thank you so much for this video ! Really

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Thank you 💙👊 🎄

[@loisschultz8889]

Thank you ❤❤❤❤ Happy Holiday!

[@Yourfitnesscoachbern]

Big thank you!!!

[@gayanime8981]

good to have another reminder 💖

[@thectadclinic]

Always!

[@amystebbing]

Thank you so much, this is so helpful

[@Cissi78]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@binarystar11235]

Thank you thank you thank you

[@sparklyfingers]

Worst one for me is Christmas Eve itself and while it's a bit different now I still celebrate with the most triggering person during this time. So it's still quite difficult. I hope I can get through it a bit easier this year than 2023 but we'll see.

[@annapiekarski2992]

Great message!

[@stjernoga]

Thank you 🫶

[@L3e1199]

Thankyou

[@SDT-Kristallscherben]

💙

[@missequestrian3448]

I’m struggling with the current Christmas-time. I’m going out to help family move over Christmas. I had no say in when or what my flight out was; I have no say in when I get back. Trying to speak about it with family planning is simply met with frustration- my uncertainties about what me and my dog can do (my issues) are simply frustrating to them because they are planning around uncertainty themselves. I try to accept and see what happens but I can’t help but wish someone would’ve asked me one time what works for me, what I can do, if this is ok. There’s appointments I can’t schedule and I have no choice at all. I just have to deal with it or not. And barring my therapist; alone. I’m sorry to vent. I just feel Christmas will get worse and worse.

[@debxwalters]

An idea for a future video - when is the right time to give up? This video's all about 'tell yourself, that was then, this is now' and it made me think. I've had several years of therapy, and that phrase still isn't true. I haven't managed internal communication, or grounding, or convincing myself and whatever else is inside, that I am safe now. It hasn't happened, despite all the talking and churning ideas, so I'm giving up. Turns out I can't get better, but I thought it might be interesting to hear from your experience. What have you done when that happens with a client, when it just doesn't work? How do you help them reach that realisation, and help them prepare for whatever's next?

[@missequestrian3448]

I’ve been in a similar place yet talking with my T about “keep trying” or “stop trying” topics seems to trigger me. Generally my therapist insists he always holds hope for me and that I won’t be kicked out of therapy for not getting better. I really don’t have a clue and not sure what my point was in saying that. Anyways, I hear you. I’m really sorry you’re at this point. I wonder what happens too when you just don’t get any better.

[@RebeccaDrexhage-fh4gl]

Can you do a new video on somatic manifestations of dissociation? Complete shutdown where I cannot talk or move or I faint, move involuntarily, sometimes ending up in positions I were in during traumatic experiences. I can dissociate and lose control over movements and am suddenly not able to steal while riding a bike for example. I can be in a shop and getting rooted to the spot. I have told this both my therapist and psychiatrist, but not gotten any real reaction concerning how to work with this. I would like to understand this better and try to work on it since it is making my life as a mom really difficult.

[@danielaalfarosaurezezequie8619]

Thank you, your channel is really helpful 🙏 Can you please make a video about incest and dissociation? And how to start having healthy, consuensual sex again? And how can you make the distinction between using BDSM as a form of "therapy" and using BDSM as a way to escape/dissociate even further from your history of sexual abuse? Thank you :)

[@jojojo8835]

*other triggery winter festivals of lights are available

[@StewartCoad]

I think I'm developing a Watching CTAD Clinic addiction. 😕 is it curable or is it terminal 🤓

[@thectadclinic]

More ducks needed, I think…

[@kane2906]

❤