A robot made me a drink, I died a little inside | How to Drink

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HTD cocktail kits are here in time for the holiday, there are very few left. Order yours at Curiada, bit.ly/shophtdspirits
Cocktail robots...spoiler alert...THEY SUCK! But if you must have one, please use the affiliate link below.
Drink Works by Kurig: amzn.to/3xE4kKI
Bartesian Machine: amzn.to/3lnkZ02
00:00 - Intro
00:27 - Cocktail robot explainer
03:28 - Robot Old Fashioned
07:35 - A message from Helix
09:38 - Robot Margarita
12:59 - Robot Long Island Iced Tea
17:34 - Robot Whiskey Sour
20:23 - Kurig Whiskey Cola/Bartesian Uptown Rocks
25:19 - Conclusions
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Drink Works by Kurig: amzn.to/3xE4kKI
Bartesian Machine: amzn.to/3lnkZ02
Bartesian Classic Cocktail Set: amzn.to/32Ryuz3
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Canned Old Fashioned: • How bad can they be? C...
Canned Margarita: • Skunk Weed Margarita? ...
Don't Get Ripped off!: • This stuff will make y...
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Huyen Tue Dao
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That One Guy
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Joe

[@howtodrink]

So I probably convinced you not to buy one of these cocktail robots, but you can Click here helixsleep.com/howtodrink for up to $200 off your Helix Sleep mattress plus two free pillows! I still love mine. HTD cocktail kits are here in time for the holiday, there are very few left. Order yours at Curiada, bit.ly/shophtdspirits Helix: helixsleep.com/howtodrink Curiada: bit.ly/shophtdspirits Drink Works by Kurig: amzn.to/3xE4kKI Bartesian Machine: amzn.to/3lnkZ02 Bartesian Classic Cocktail Set: amzn.to/32Ryuz3 Twitch: bit.ly/2VsOi3d H2D2: bit.ly/YTH2D2 twitter: bit.ly/H2DTwit instagram: bit.ly/H2dIG Blog: bit.ly/H2DBlog Patreon: bit.ly/H2DPatreon Gear: amzn.to/2LeQCbW Canned Old Fashioned: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eX3RaIR6q5t6kKs Canned Margarita: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aXbQdYOFm9VglbM Don't Get Ripped off!: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZuzeoiwg6hnnLc

[@puppetstring55]

I have no desire to own this product. But your "If you are going to buy it, I want you to buy it from me." Line was so honest I want to throw money at you. Come payday you have earned yourself a new Patreon.

[@heatherbusjahn9614]

I would never buy one of these, but I will defend drink robots in general. KZbinr Molly Burke owns a drink robot and likes it. She is blind and isn't a big drinker. It's nice to have an option for people that can't make cocktails the traditional way.

[@88Spint]

Got a video idea for you. Whats the worst drink? Did a horrible one myself as I tried to make a whiskey cola, never tried it before. Got myself some Jim Beam bourbon and some Pepsi. It wasn't good but the recipe, found after a quick google search called for ice and a little citron. So I fetched my concentrated lime juice, cus I figured it would be close enough, from the fridge and really really ruined the shit out of that drink. Oh god I can still taste it. Yuck! Something about the concentrated lime being too much I'm guessing but over all that's the worst drink I ever tried to make. This is how u make it: 10cl cola (Pepsi for me but I can't see anything change no matter which u pick.) 5cl bourbon (Jim Beam or any cheaper then dirt alternative.) 2cl lime juice (if you ain't got fresh it does get worse with concentrated lime juice.) Do suffer responsibly!

[@albertoquirarte2138]

Ha how foolish of you to assume I have a neck. I sir was born a head and shoulders baby

[@Kaijugan]

You should do the Flamingo Joe’s sazerac from Tripwire Interactive’s Maneater.

[@chandlerf3131]

Yo Greg, here’s an idea for a video: Have an A.I. make you a drink after it reads a bunch of cocktail recipes. See if it’s actually good

[@Kakkarot22]

this sounds like a recipe for liver failure

[@wworsey954]

Make sure to credit some people that have done this before like lily alexandre

[@Daemascus]

Are you trying to kill him? Or atleast ruin his day?

[@caseymartin4276]

That’s hilarious, let’s see it

[@DeathByFoodTruck]

@@Kakkarot22 isn’t that the point of this channel?

[@zegagenesis778]

"it's pissing an old fashioned everywhere" says the man who is known for his immaculate pours and ability to get all of his ice into the glass everytime.

[@user-me8hc3bs7i]

I really thought he would give it credit for authenticity there.

[@toobin8r]

It’s simulating the way CEOs pour their drinks in the middle of the workday

[@gremlinman9724]

i think he's known for making drinks from media and that one time he broke his toe

[@andybeyer2230]

To be fair, I've never personally seen him piss on the bar top

[@gremlinman9724]

@@andybeyer2230 then you're not a real fan

[@Spindash54]

“He had found a Keurig machine which had provided him with a glass filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike an old-fashioned.”

[@xarealpersonx]

lmao this is EXACTLY what I was thinking

[@GryphonBrokewing]

"I do feel very cyberpunk, drinking from my drink replicator." "That tastes toxic" -- also a cyberpunk aesthetic, isn't it?

[@josephschultz3301]

"It can't even make my Pangalactic Gargle Blaster right!"

[@Year_of_the_Dell]

@@josephschultz3301 well we better hope not. That breaks too many weapons and Peace treaties not to mention the laws of physics.

[@josephschultz3301]

@@Year_of_the_Dell Look, man, what are laws, really, if not just rules meant to be bent to the point of breaking? Besides, why should physics get in the way of a good drink capable of sending my mind across the univer~ OH SHIT! *[My brain melts as "Across the Universe" immediately begins playing]*

[@Year_of_the_Dell]

@@josephschultz3301 oh no did you remember your towl? Joseph? Joseph!

[@josephschultz3301]

@@Year_of_the_Dell Worry not. For while I am lost to the music, you may continue the unspecified quest that, again, none of us have hinted towards. I am certain that it is good and just. Probably. Please, leave me to my alcoholic and/or musical fate. It both tastes and sounds like the death that I deserve.

[@donnafealy9904]

I feel guilty because I did NOT come in here to see which was better. I came here to delight in your reaction.

[@markstaud]

Totally!! I’m also just so glad he pointed out that Rum and Gin shared the same port… I mean Gin is Botanical Infused Vodka. If you can’t get that right, you can’t get anything right.

[@Darkmage1293]

"Ive had better, but I've definitely had worse" - Greg, before he's had worse.

[@ChristineMBond]

So fun to watch and listen to this episode 🤣

[@wackyswacky1374]

It's hilarious that a week after this episode Keurig literally discontinued their cocktail machine lol.

[@xSintex]

It is, though sadly just a coincidence. Drink works was a terribly made machine that broke down all the time, and they lost a shit load of money replacing the machines for people.

[@ketra1504]

@@xSintex it's kind of ironic watching the new breakdown video and realising that the Drinkworks was an honest attempt at a drink machine while the Bartesian is literally a scam that will give you food poisoning

[@warlockd]

Still might be worth it for the carbonator. I mean to even get close to a tonic, you got to chil and co2 the water and having something that small would be cheap now.

[@NinjaGidget]

Greg doesn't know his own strength.

[@ExtraThiccc]

​@@warlockdGet a sodastream tbh, or a different carbonator

[@erggml1887]

So far both robots have failed to meet the standard set by the first and my most preferred bartending robot. At a con near me (years ago) they had a competition to make a robot that made a single mixed drink. My favorite was supposed to make a mint julep. It would drop some mint in and around the glass and then send it to the next position. At position 2 the muddler came down and smashed the glass and mint both and then sent it to the 3rd position. At position 3 it would dump some crushed ice on the wreckage formerly known as a glass and mint and send it to position 4. At position 4 it would pour some bourbon on the iced wreckage and stir it for some reason and then send it to position 5. Position 5 was otherwise known as a trash can. Best. Bartending Robot. EVER.

[@drystofiscalio7545]

Basically proving the point that robots should probably not replace bartenders

[@erggml1887]

@@drystofiscalio7545 In that case yes. These robots were all made by amateurs and showed it to varying degrees. There were a few that were capable of doing decent drinks, but had glitches etc. I prefer the human interaction part of the experience, but I can see the entertainment and novelty of the drink making robot. I just don't think it would be my go to preference over time. I think that the issue is making a good generalist robot that makes a range of cocktails that would appeal to a wide audience with shelf stable ingredients is very difficult. I think we have a long ways to go before that is going to work.

[@shaggyspade2468]

@@erggml1887 if your trying to replace a bartender with a robot you've already failed at the basic concept, if I didn't want another person involved, I'd just buy it premixed and canned or make it myself.

[@erggml1887]

@@shaggyspade2468 I prefer the human touch myself. But I'd you look at my original post it's about enjoying the humor found in something mechanical going very wrong.

[@grimsage5809]

I think ideally you would want something like the coca cola touchscreen machines for this. would certainly make for an interesting hackjob imo

[@fivestringsamurai]

I met someone who had one of these. He "claimed" to be a home mixology enthusiast. He said the bartisian made pretty good cocktails, and he had a whole menu printed out for his guests. Now I know he was insane.

[@jasonwalker4003]

I understand not having the pallet to know what your missing, but what the fuck??? this mans put way too much effort into that

[@hey-me6bn]

God bless that guys soul

[@Youremyproblem]

That's kinda cute though, he's trying at least.

[@novamatter3432]

@@Youremyproblem It's not. It's pathetic. Dude wasted money on a machine that makes bad drinks instead of actually learning to make much better drinks himself.

[@Youremyproblem]

@@novamatter3432 Lol, you will never have friends, no matter how well you learn to make drinks. Tough times for this guy.

[@bigkinggorilla8095]

I wonder if the bartesian caramel flavor is because they assume bottom shelf whiskey is being used? Also, “please don’t buy these… affiliate link is below” is such a wonderful vibe. Just how defeated Greg is, knowing people are still going to buy these stupid things.

[@NEEDbacon]

Even if they were adding in Caramel to try and make up for bad whiskey (which honestly would be on you, not the machine). How much worse would a lack of caramel flavor be vs an overbearing amount? Doesn't explain the Vanilla Margarita either.

[@underfan7713]

@Tom Mccarthy there's also the mocktail setting

[@yaroslavchechel6116]

I don't think that's the reason caramel flavours are there. My guess would be, since sugar is relatively bad at dissolving in water quickly they are using an artificial sweetener instead. There are quite a few of those, but few of them taste of pure sugar (maybe even none), they all have chemical or otherwise unpleasant aftertastes. Hence my theory is: Either they are using an artificial sweetener with a 'caramel' aftertaste or they are using a caramel flavouring to mask the chemical aftertaste of the sweetener. This may be further compounded by other flavourings in the pods, since even natural flavourings start tasking funky if they are too concentrated.

[@Amberscion]

"Just how defeated Greg is, knowing people are still going to buy these stupid things." Well I'm not. Even if Greg had highly praised one I wouldn't have bought it, and certainly not with the shitpanning review they both got instead. Think about it: 1) ~$300 is for me about 5 bottles of a good whisky. 2) Then there's the counter space they eat in your kitchen. Permanently, because these don't appear to be something you'd want to move in and out of a cupboard every time you wanted to make a drink. 3) Then there's the cost for the cups. And where and how you can find them. 4) And being tied to a proprietary refill, which I was done with as a product 'feature' after my Gillette Sensor stopped having refills made for it in something like circa 2000. 5) They make one drink at a time. Even for two people this would be annoying. So now imagine you and your partner have another couple over, and you've got to wait for the thing to work it's way through 4 drinks. 6) They make one drink at a time, part 2: If I'm making Margaritas I'm probably mixing up a pitcher of them for some summer sipping. The same with bloody Marys for hosting a Sunday brunch, except there I'll make a pitcher of a base mix and then put out various different hot sauces, horse radish, spices (black pepper, celery salt, Old Bay, etc), Worcestershire, celery sticks, etc. These machines have no 'pitcher' option, and at a guess neither can make a bloody Mary anyway. And even if they could, they would make them to one single recipe, and if I were to take the time to pull out all of my optional items I might as well mix up a pitcher of a base bloody Mary by myself. 7) And finally there's the ecological cost of the extra waste from disposing all those cups, and the electricity for the always on appliance. Hard pass from me all around.

[@eliottdewitt893]

"IF you are going to buy them, buy then from me >.>" 😂

[@samwich3292]

I think I know why Bartesian had the caramel and vanilla crap in them. Since it has a mocktail setting, it needs the ingredients for that, and there's no way that pod has something to separate the mocktail stuff from the rest of it, which would ruin the regular cocktail version. So having that option has ruined their alcoholic versions.

[@ganon8835]

what an incredibly stupid design

[@sgtstr3am785]

Good intentions gone wrong. Why not just make a N.A. set?

[@NEEDbacon]

Even so, if it had to include ingredients to make up for a lack of liquor not being present, why are they throwing in stuff that doesn't belong period? Like the Vanilla in the Margarita. Or how much Caramel they seem to love. Even still, if there WAS a setting you'd kinda give the least amount of love to it'd be the one that doesn't make use of it's main selling point of being able to use your own spirits. In fact, it seems to revel in ruining them.

[@banjobill8420]

@@sgtstr3am785 yea why not have mocktail pods?

[@jamesofhoenn4790]

My argument is that the caramel is to make normal whiskey taste like bourbon, so when he used bourbon it makes it a redundancy. I don’t have an argument for the vanilla though,

[@burtmacklin6443]

10:36 I have come from the future. They didn't put vanilla in their margarita, its just left over bourbon that you are tasting, they only used a single line to deliver spirits to the pods.

[@robertpettigrew9042]

Hey Greg, just saw an article that they are cancelling the Drink Works machine entirely and refunding all the people who bought one!! Your video worked, well done!!!

[@laurenhawes7201]

It's ironically the better of the two.

[@xSintex]

While its fun to think that "the little guy won" , it was hardly Greg's video on it. Drink works was a good idea with quality ingredients in the pods, but with an AWFUL construction. They had to sometimes replace up to 4 to 5 machines for one user, that's how bad it was. They were losing money hand over fist on it. That's why it got canned.

[@jackiesonntag2269]

I wish I had known about this a month ago! :'( My Drink Works has been sitting on my counter, untouched for over 2 years. Its not even remotely worth the price.

[@Nomortem]

If all the bartisian did was measure pours for you, I would be interested in it. A machine I can plug my bar into and just push a button for 2 ounces of this and half an ounce of that would be spectacular. The issue is they're not trying to be convenient, they're trying to sell these shitty cocktail pods, so I don't think such a device is coming to consumers any time soon

[@mattia_carciola]

There must exist some sort of adjustable pre-dosed pours for the bottles

[@stevemcgowen]

There already are such machines. They are called liquor control systems. In Utah and I think another state, bars can't free pour, and all shots have to be dispensed form a machine...

[@scaper8]

It's the tried and true razor blade model, but now with the added bonus of the initial investment being high too! Yeah capitalism!

[@xyzpdq1122]

OH NO, right after this I got an ad for something called a NECTAR which is apparently a WiFi enabled pour spout that lets a bartender know when inventory is getting low.

[@redumulis2448]

The DRM locked pods was an immediate no go for me.

[@IamTheaveragegamer]

I was sitting here watching this, genuinely wondering "who is the product actually for?" Then when you said corporate party room, it all made sense.

[@adams3627]

"We bought a gadget that made our parties measurably worse, just for the sheer novelty of having a gadget to make us cocktails, and also to avoid paying a bartender who actually knows what they're doing"

[@johngleeman8347]

@@adams3627 The bartender may know what he's doing, but suffering his presence is too great a price to pay!

[@grbadalamenti]

Might he enjoyed in Japan

[@FoolOfATuque]

Along with the bean bag chairs?

[@franchised1]

a couple who I used to play D&D with bought one at my last session session with them. They suddenly pulled out the Bartisan one with the 4 glass bottles, filled it up and gave me a little Long Island Ice Tea pod, I remember being VERY disgusted with it but I thought maybe it was just their choices of spirits they put in the bottles or something. Now I know, its that shitty machine.

[@mndlessdrwer]

I'll also just put this out there: there's essentially no way to make an automated barista machine without going absolutely insane and using, like, 24 or more peristaltic pumps, a large array of hoses going to bottle bases, and a bunch of hoses going into a custom-made refrigeration unit to hold your mixers. One thing that I would absolutely love to see is for the company to figure out a way to keep the bitters from spoiling just sitting sealed at room temp, but then to build them into little ink cartridge style peizoelectric print heads so it can mist out a fine spray of bitters into the mix. It'd be a good way to add in orange or lemon oil as well. Basically, if it costs less than a car and doesn't look like an eldritch abomination of technology, then it isn't going to be capable of making a particularly good drink for you. It just won't have access to enough spirits and quality mixers to do the job.

[@Simon-ho6ly]

these kinda exist as novelty installations in some upmarket bars and on some cruise ships.... waaay overpriced but its a thing...

[@mndlessdrwer]

@@Simon-ho6ly it would be fun to engineer, but an absolute nightmare to maintain and clean.

[@FaerieDust]

@@mndlessdrwer and completely unsellable - by the time it's done, it'll be so expensive no one will buy it. (or maybe they would - people buy extremely expensive espresso machines, don't they?)

[@warlockd]

Yea I was about to say. Cleaning a soda machine is a nightmare and some syrups (aka Root Bear) permanently lock the hose up to that flavor. Part of the problem too is it forces the bar to have one bartender. That is the entire machine makes one drink at a time. Its a nice bar gimick but second something breaks ugh.

[@mattgopack7395]

@@FaerieDust I think they would be sellable, but that'd be more of a novelty/experience thing - like it going to a high end hotel, resort, or cruise line, where part of the premium being paid is with the experience. And if it's a flashy robot bartender, that would be something that could be fun to watch from time to time.

[@an0gr0br]

10:47 Coming back here after watching the tear-down video. Now knowing more about how the Bartesian works, I wonder if the vanilla flavor was actually the bourbon remaining in the lines post-old fashioned

[@kevinwells9751]

This is absolutely what happened on these drinks. The Bartesian would probably be better (though obviously a long way from good) if you only made one drink in it over and over because it would eventually flush the lines of all of the other liquor and let the right spirit come through

[@adams3627]

I have to say, the "Greg tortures himself reviewing shitty premade cocktails" era of H2D has been pretty entertaining so far.

[@QuigleTheGnome]

Agreed

[@drengillespie]

So Buzzballs? Look I like drinking more than I should but those things made me think I had a problem.

[@chrisfromthelc]

The audience for these aren't people who like cocktails (or coffee or juice in DRM-controlled bags)...the audience is people who like gadgets for the sake of having a gadget for a task.

[@christraven]

So basically, fools with too much money and not enough common sense.

[@danielc.284]

@@BloopTube That would be an interesting collab video

[@GODOFGUITAR2112]

Yep, and I can’t fault smart people separating fools from their money although the impact they have on the environment is definitely worth criticizing.

[@louisbrill891]

You could probably skip the keurig machine and just dump the liquid out of the pod Juicero style. The only thing it really does is mix seltzer for you but thats $0.75 per L so do you really need a machine for that?

[@pokeric]

@@christraven like 90% of the American economy is based on this principle now.

[@Velociraptour]

This is like giving the host of a college party the benefit of the doubt, but deep down you know they got that radioactive looking margarita mix from the convenience story.

[@ManInArea]

And now we know the vanilla note in the margarita likely came from the leftovers in the lines from the old fashioned. Greats videos

[@imightbebiased9311]

"It tastes like a fresh, unpeed on urinal cake." And yet, still not as awful as an Eldermancy.

[@LotteLattes]

Im more intrested in how he knows what a urinal cake tastes like

[@ShaneWalta]

@@LotteLattes You know how you smell something so strong that you can taste it? Probably that

[@bleddynwolf8463]

@@ShaneWalta hopefully that

[@TheHammy1987]

It's a sad world! About two years ago, I ordered a cocktail in one of the very few cocktail bars in town. I told them I did not want it too sweet. They said that they cannot influence the sweetness level because it's made by a machine. I cancelled the order, left and never came back.

[@MrWhangdoodles]

That pisses me off. Part of the experience of a cocktail bar is that somebody makes you something delicious from its constituent parts. It's not fast food, it's like fine cuisine for me.

[@thatwasinteresting3319]

@@MrWhangdoodles I completely agree. I am in it for the experience if I go out to a nice restaurant and they are charging me 10-15 bucks a drink I want it hand crafted by an experienced bartender

[@chrismaverick9828]

@@thatwasinteresting3319 Handcrafted by an inexperienced bartender would even be better than these, as at least they would probably follow a recipe and presumably know how to measure with a jigger.

[@georgerogers2120]

@@MrWhangdoodles Put a bit more crudely, if I want a shit drink, I can make one at home. If I am going to have somebody else make something, they'd better be *making* it.

[@user-me8hc3bs7i]

The only time I could justify that being okay is the way most family restaurant bars do margaritas where they’re in one of those gas station style drink mixers so the drink is essentially already made and they modify for alcohol request. But even that’s pushing it because those are always the “get me fucked up” margs and not the “this is delightful” kind.

[@Leftistattheparty]

Keurig says "Thank you for being part of the passionate Drinkworks community. Today Drinkworks made the difficult decision to no longer sell Home Bars. " So it sounds like they discontinued this.

[@jacobhardy3851]

So I saw an ad for this on Instagram and commented that I watched this video and warned others it was sub par and this is the response from the Bartesian page: “ let me guess, overaged guy trying to look young & hip? that dude posted that for click bait. Everyone loves our cocktails. That’s why we keep going out of stock. Ask Ashton Kutcher and Mika Kunis.” I guess they’re a little hurt you didn’t take their sponsorship.

[@teehlfx5238]

They might want to work on getting Mila Kunis’’ name right too

[@JonManProductions]

Ah yes the source of the comment in the horribly bad teardown of the wannabe hipster drink machine. I have found you. XD AndontooursponsorVIDIQforallowingmetosearchupyourcommentbykeyword.

[@timothymcn]

Whiskey cola is also a funny thing to automate when it’s literally just spirit + mixer. There’s nothing to automate!

[@georgerogers2120]

Which makes it an even weirder thing to totally balls up.

[@jaredcostello9782]

@@XCodes keurig is owned by Dr. pepper so I’m fairly certain they just used the recipe for RC cola

[@MeonLights]

Right? You'd do better spending the money for the machine on a couple of bottles of good whiskey...

[@DasBootsDaddy]

Watching Greg get angry after trying a bad drink is some of the best stuff in life.

[@Nerdygoddess]

We have a Keurig at our office. I use it more than anyone, as an automatic pouring electric kettle. I know exactly which buttons I need for each of my mugs for tea (bagged) and my bowl for ramen noodles. The other woman that used it had a re-useable pod and she bought coffee in bulk.

[@ExtraThiccc]

Thats how me and my mom use out kurig at home. She didn't buy it, she got it as a house warming present. It's great for instant coffee from coffee grounds, but actually using the pods is just not good

[@Lemon_Sage9999]

As someone who owned two different keurigs, they are exactly that: a kettle/massive waste of money

[@travisperry6585]

I love when Greg does this kind of video. He is always so salty about everything and curses like a sailor and I love it.

[@BCZF]

The DRM on the Keurig is what kills me, they are the printer/ink of liquid refreshment

[@gezafisch4030]

If their only check is a barcode, you could probably fool it pretty easily, but it might discourage 3rd parties from manufacturing alternative pods

[@jbmcb]

@@gezafisch4030 Yeah they are pretty easy to hack. The other solution is to just buy an old one without the DRM.

[@skyler6175]

@@jbmcb Or just don't buy it at all.

[@OldManSparkplug]

If Keurig coffee was decent coffee I'd agree with you, but as it stands the whole brand feels like it needs Loki yelling "You had one job! Just the one!"

[@ayajade6683]

@@XCodes you can use those generic and reusable pods in Keurigs this just has DRM likely due to alcohol laws

[@tobiasvaldez4816]

The Keurig sounded so good until it got to the drink canister part. I don't want a machine that only opens a container for me.

[@thejediwill1]

“Tastes like a urinal cake.” Greg scoring points with his review.

[@carterbritt2914]

“I don’t want you to buy either one… but here is an affiliate link” talk about really sticking to your guns Greg. Well done. Love the conviction

[@tinywoolyelephant]

I'm convinced that certain airlines are gonna start using these for cocktails now. The Drinkworks has United Airlines written all over it.

[@thedude4840]

I mean at least that kind makes sense your already in a bad place if your ordering airline liquor might as well go all the way.

[@douglascampbell9809]

Yeah the Keurig having a pressurized gas canister ensures it will never fly.

[@d_boi9345]

To be honest airplane drinks should be approached as medicine in the first place. You might not like it but it makes the experience bearable

[@sxxon751]

I think if you have an improved version of this it could potentially work better.

[@Alexander-wx2ie]

Tasting is affected by the condition of flying. That's why plane food can taste bad. But I think it affected alcohol even more. In one flight the meal came with a 200ml bottle of wine, either white or red, they both tase like vinegar.

[@Faggledickbob]

Hearing Greg say; "This one is F***'in weird." As he points to the Bartesian margarita made me die. 😂😂

[@Will-ck9qn]

On the keurig thing, I've always used a refillable pod and ground my own coffee for mine, it's super convenient and the quickest way imo to make yourself a single cup of coffee. Sure pour over is a better cup of coffee, but I don't always have time to do that. I love the keurig, I hate the disposable k cups.

[@eminakostic3406]

My parents bought the new one with the coffee pot attachment, and we haven't found a reusable cup that's fits it unfortunately. I wish they hadn't changed that part of the Kerrigan between models.

[@MiMi-xc7ks]

I do the same, I have used the same red little re-usable “pod” for years. When I fully realized how wasteful the single use pods were I had to find an alternative

[@jdguillot8647]

Greg spitting the drink back into the glass is the perfect reverse of Paul giving someone a handshake.

[@lawrencemarquez5007]

"Both suck in their own unique way" That is a straight up mood🤣

[@walkercobb2808]

"They're different, and lame, and differently lame." -Strong Bad, 2005

[@Joseph-oo7pp]

I love the “don’t buy it, but buy it from me”

[@demago3265]

Memento Mori 🖤

[@MrWhangdoodles]

@@demago3265 I usually don't like to reminded of that fact. Why the heart?

[@QuicksilverFox85]

@@MrWhangdoodles It's a reference to a channel that was on YT called Unus Annus, which both of them pulled their avvie pics from.

[@gundummies]

but seriously, don't buy it 🤣

[@MrWhangdoodles]

@@QuicksilverFox85 Ahh, yeah I didn't follow them. Neat idea though. I thought you guys made an obscure indie fantasy book reference.

[@the8thark]

"Reconstituting space booze" "It's pissing cocktail all over the place" Not sentences I thought I would ever hear.

[@ashleybrooks3467]

That's probably the best episode of HTD ever, Gregs humour was on point!

[@trevorcallahan6106]

I went to Vegas last year and as I was walking around there was a bar that used those robotic arms that Car manufactures use. When you order something that arm moved and added the spirit and mixers into the shaker. The bottles are above the arm with the bottles facing down, I assume there was a stopper on every bottle to prevent it from just pouring out everywhere. Once its done collecting the spirit and stuff the arm shakes the drink with ice and pours it into an awaiting plastic cup. The only thing it doesn't do is serve it to you where they had some workers walk it out to people who ordered stuff. It was very cool but very expensive.

[@ericktellez7632]

Just… why

[@TracyKMainwaring]

they're also on some Royal Caribbean cruise ships. It's entertainment without having to have entertainment staff

[@MollymaukT]

As a mechatronics engineering grad student I'm quite fascinated...as a human being I'm just like "whyyyyy?"

[@austinclark2378]

Tipsy Robot in the Miracle Mile Shops. I came across it on my last Vegas trip. It was fun, but not worth the price for the drinks.

[@vyor8837]

Cheaper than a real worker.

[@stevemcgowen]

I think you may as well just buy pre-made cocktails, rather than a machine that does nothing but add water to a pre- made cocktail...

[@MsJavaWolf]

I agree. It's not like some coffee machines where the pods actually have ground coffee and the machine at least pumps hot water through it (although those kinds of machines also often don't produce great results, but at least they are doing SOMETHING) Pods like in the cocktail machine are just fancy containers for juice and alcohol, the machine only gives the illusion of doing anything.

[@thomaswhite3059]

But then how will people know I'm cool and hip and have a lot of money?

[@princessaria]

I agree that pre made ones usually taste better, but being able to choose your own spirits and strength is a slight benefit that the Bartesian has over canned cocktails. If only they didn’t add all the extra artificial flavors….

[@KR-hg8be]

@@thomaswhite3059 right, they are marketing this to rich silicon Valley types who need somthing to go next to their juicero.

[@thesupreme8062]

@@KR-hg8be lmao juicero

[@thedrummererik99]

you my good sir, deserve every sponsor and view. i love your channel and personality!

[@MichaelPace2.0]

Please review everything!! Loved this energy and your brutal honesty

[@DeusNocturne]

I absolutely love the pro conservation attitude Greg has, so much shit talking about wasteful products and pointless garbage between this and the not to buy guide.

[@georgerogers2120]

Seriously. Environmentalist/anti-consumerism HTD is my new jam.

[@biancabrooks280]

I have a keurig, and honestly, 80% of the time I just use it for fast hot water. Basically a glorified kettle in my kitchen. Dad uses it for his morning coffee. But I just drink hot tea and cocoa.

[@NicholeParker]

I was looking for this comment lol I am not a coffee fan, but I’m a sugar addict. So if I want “coffee” I’ll go to Starbucks, but the Keurig is just a hot water machine for me lol

[@rbrearey]

I buy my pods from a company that makes 100% compostable ones. Basically a pre-filled filter and a ring made of corn plastics. Better coffee, too. You do have to keep them in a airtight container.

[@Papaya16]

I use it for the water for my cup of noodles😅

[@maldar]

1st time viewer here, I just saw the Kurig one at the beer store around the time your video came out. I personally would never buy something like these as I prefer to be able to select what goes into my drink. Very cool that you went out and bought them to review. Love that you didn't do a paid "review", much respect foe that. I might be back, I'm more of a tech guy that drinks beer vs a drink guy. Thanks again.

[@angeliquejacques1110]

Greg! I just started out as a bartender. Wanted to let you know that your positive energy inspires me, I was insanely nervous before my first shift and I binged your videos before work, and it helped (and I like to think that I nailed it because of that confidence)! Keep it up :)

[@ianhall6614]

You gotta fake it till you make it and eventually the confidence comes!

[@orchdork775]

Congrats!! How is it going?

[@litewavegames3967]

Mixology is as much art as it is science, and we all know how good robots are at art

[@benmaynard3059]

Robots no, but ai is getting pretty weird with it. Hell, ai could probably pour a pretty good drink lol.

[@BrightSpark]

@@benmaynard3059 AI isn't doing "art", the best they can do right now is take an input (an image, a doodle of something, words, whatever) and they barf up reproducable results every time. It's artistic in the same way that winning in Scrabble means that you are a better writer.

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

Be fair: winning at Scrabble at least gives a writer a better vocabulary.

[@KaptajnKaffe]

@@BrightSpark they do abstract really nice with a brush and a random movement generator.

[@insertnamehere8723]

The thing is, these machines still require an additional expense and work from the user which kinda defeats the purpose of being simple. I'd much prefer to learn and not rely on a machine that hasn't mastered or perfected a drink which just isn't worth it when it's kinda inconvenient- especially for a price tag.

[@xanadu6784]

I'd be very interested to know if you can recreate the drinks perfectly by just emptying a pod in a shaker with some ice, maybe some water, and straining. Both those machines give me strong Juicero vibes.

[@Gamerkat10]

Oh deeefinitely

[@RisqueBisquet]

I mean in _theory_ it seems like an idea that should work. Lots of places batch their cocktail mixes and just shake it up with ice when it's ready. No idea how these things get it so badly wrong. If it's all in a pod you should be able to control the contents perfectly.

[@xanadu6784]

@@RisqueBisquet For the Keurig at least, it seems like it's basically a canned cocktail placed in a specialized package that the overly complicated machine just opens and pours into a cup. That's why I thought of Juicero. You could have exactly as good an experience throwing out the machine, and stabbing the top of the pod. At least the other machine sort of pours liquor for you.

[@JaxMerrick]

@@xanadu6784 and you bringing up that godawful Juicero reminded me of AvE and his two videos on its tear down. Kind of explains why that company went into bankruptcy pretty quickly.

[@T3RB3R9]

I cried laughing at "fresh, un-peed on" urinal cake being somehow the better option between the two

[@jiggypopsauce]

First video of yours that has popped into my feed for quite some time. Time to splurge all the videos I have missed.

[@locoben400]

A friend of mine has one of these and every time I go over to his place I just take one of the pods empty it into a shaker with ice and add liquor and water to make fun of him. It's a $300 electric measuring cup.

[@shoreline4287]

🤣

[@grennysohail]

I am not here to determine if I want to buy one over the other. I completely agree that if you have the money to spend on these machines and pods, you can just build a small bar and make a way better drink. I am here to watch Greg rate them and just shit talk how bad these machines are making classic drinks

[@jasondka]

I would’ve enjoyed seeing Meredith make some “mystery drinks” from these robots and have you guess what they were.

[@teehlfx5238]

23:32 woah. That took me back- like an unexpected scent that instantly transports you to your past. My grandmother had an assortment of those and I had forgotten about their existence.

[@MrWhangdoodles]

I see no reason for these machines. Mixing drinks is FUN. Guests love it when I make them a drink. I'm my mid-20s. I've been mixing drinks since I was 16 (legal drinking age). Every time I make my new dinner guests a drink they are so pleased. If not with the drink, but definitely by the fact that I'm doing something for them + the performance. These machines take the fun out of it. It's "press button for drink". It's not the same. I wouldn't even want to have a humanoid semi-sentient robot butler have me make drinks. It's almost sacred for me to serve my guests something nice. I just LOVE hosting so much.

[@MrAsaqe]

This so much, I am gonna wash my mind of the atrocities to bartending by making some mullen Rum as a test

[@GamingWolfGod]

These machines aren't for parties, they're aimed at personal use. For the people who want a drink but don't want to go through the hassle and cleaning that comes with making a drink. They're the 'get home from a busy day of work, put a glass in the machine & hit a button' product. I'd love a future where these machines work right and can make good quality drinks at the push of a button.

[@MrWhangdoodles]

@@GamingWolfGod I still don't get them. Cocktails in a can are a thing after all. Or longdrinks.

[@melsilva9158]

Seriously, I had to pause the video to compose myself after Greg said, "inside of a vacuum cleaner". 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@LizzieWestBathandBody]

Thanks for this, I saw this on another KZbinr channel as he was Jewelry shopping for his wife and it went well. Thank you we can't all have HTD at our bars but now we can come close.

[@xarophti]

Not looking for machine reviews. Just your reactions. Priceless!

[@numericalpants]

the secret texts have been revealed

[@Copernicus42]

Had high hopes that one of these would be good enough for "I want a drink after a long day but I'm too lazy to make something and then do dishes" but oh well. Also it might be interesting to crack open the pods directly and have a look at what's inside, maybe a taste test.

[@juice6199]

Really love and appreciate the honesty, Greg.

[@furyrage2011]

I like this format man, keep the reviews going.

[@kevinor8811]

I cannot wait for this. I imagine this will be far more cutting that the bar fly reviews which weren’t glowing

[@DasGrinch]

I've been getting bombarded with ads for these things, and I've been tempted, but I'm glad to see your review. It seems like it would be so hard to screw up, but apparently it's not. It's like hot cocoa from a keurig, how hard can this be, oh my god how did they make it this bad?

[@kovak400]

Coffee only needs coffee grounds and boiling water. A bartender that does multiple drinks with multiple flavors and mixers needs so so much more.

[@krukov3865]

I've been watching your channel for a while. I don't drink. But you're entertaining to watch. Thank you for your content.

[@ibrahimllenko6922]

Loved this episode. Get well soon 😁 Have a good start into '22! Cheers

[@yolo_hans]

Urinal cakes really need to be renamed to pisscuits.

[@crucix1483]

I loved the little Alien gag with the laser making your old fashioned 😂

[@MasterYourGlass]

An honest and genuine review Greg. Thanks

[@rashadnagi7531]

I met someone that made their own drink machine like 10 years ago. programmed it and made the whole thing from scratch, he called it "The Intoxicator" and it had a like twelve bottles of booze on top and a whole menu of drinks he programmed in.

[@a.r.bonner505]

“It infests your face” is an absolutely amazing insult.

[@brotholomew13]

A friend of mine owns a Bartesian and all the drinks have a similar theme, they're overly sweet and they taste kind of artificial. That being said if you level set they're not that bad. I don't know what Greg used but my friend usually fills the containers with Kirkland brand booze, which is about the level I'd expect the makers were going for.

[@silvarace]

sometimes you want to watch greg be a great bartender and really make a great drink, sometimes you want to see him make something fun from a videogame or a show. and other times you just want to watch greg suffer........ this is one of those times

[@fabe61]

This is Greg at his best - some of his funniest comments and quips are in this video. Great stuff.

[@ToaOfFusion]

Goddamn it! The robots are now going after Greg's job too!

[@chaosstripe9446]

We don't have anything to worry about

[@marcogenovesi8570]

Skynet has a lot of work to do to get anywhere near

[@MrWhangdoodles]

Na, we don't even taste his drinks. His personality won't be replaceable any time soon.

[@dudeism400]

I do love the style these machines are going for and does feel like something out of a sci-fi movie like the whiskey cube in Alien Resurrection you showed, but until companies can perfect such a design it should not even be thought about.

[@eatingchildren7756]

Dude your sound affects are always on point!

[@matthull5744]

Just here to comment that Curiada should ship to VA!! Thanks for all the great videos Greg!

[@Folkeregor]

I love how thorough this review is. Damn good work man!

[@Mateo-mg4jw]

Greg really has the best ad plugs on KZbin, it's unmatched

[@leam1978]

thank you meridith for asking the comparison question.

[@Randallsilver]

This was so much fun to watch! 😂

[@NorthAveBeachBum]

Thanks for this video. I requested it because most other KZbin reviews state the opposite. Most likely the results on the Bartesian will depend more on which liquor is used, but if the pods make the drink worse... that makes being able to choose your liquor a moot point.

[@thomasbrantley5667]

"That is damn good" "Yeah damn right" I lost it for some reason right there

[@LotusHearted]

I have my fingers crossed you’ll cover the Touhou-themed Bar Eastern cocktails sometime in the future. It’s an old, old collection (like, 10ish years ago) of recipes that could be really fun for you to try.

[@mewmeister8650]

Where might one find these recipes?

[@LotusHearted]

@@mewmeister8650 Look up “Bar Eastern Touhou” and there’s an Imgur collection of most of the recipes. The rest of the recipes are only on NND.

[@saccityjack]

Hey Greg, Love the content! Quick FYI The ad doesn't properly synch up at about seventeen minutes in. You break for commercials and then get back to the program, and then the commercials actually run.

[@aborachis1649]

"This feels cheap, like I'm on a space station" The ISS literally cost $150 billion yo...

[@NotoriousRP]

hilariously enough I was thinking (as I was catching up on episodes) "Man, Greg should review those cocktail machines since I have a feeling people might want to buy them as Christmas gifts"

[@emilyk5003]

The Keurig one reminds me of a Juicero. The entire drink is in the capsule, the machine just chills and waters it.

[@verbalengine95]

it's really cool watching someone who knows a lot about what they're doing, even if i don't. example: i'm currently drinking rum i bought from walmart mixed with dr pepperwhile watching this video and typing this comment

[@TheYellowTuxedo]

About to start my first official Bar Tending job. Thank you for helping me practice!

[@Aerowind]

Haven't watched yet so I'm sure it's addressed, but I looked into one of these a while back and I'm just astounded at the cost of the capsules. They're like 3 dollars a freaking capsule. It'd be one thing if they contained alcohol, but 3 dollars for some sugar and lime juice is astounding.

[@kruksog]

☝️☝️☝️ Could not have expressed it better. That is the crux of the issue. Sugar and lime... substitute.... should not cost 3 bucks an oz. That's fucking absurd.

[@alexandreaudette6591]

I like what you do man! Take care!

[@silvershadow7232]

i love the editors comments in your video they always make me laugh

[@CM-ux9yh]

Well, it seems like there are *some* things that just can’t be automated… …I will say, though, that seeing a Greg vs. Bionic Bar match would be hilarious.

[@pokeric]

There’s no reason you couldn’t make a robot bartender. It’s not rocket science. Measure ingredients and shake or stir. The problem is the capsules and pods, trying to lock people into that ecosystem for all the money. Dried or artificial universal ingredients will always suck.

[@CM-ux9yh]

While I agree that you *could* make a robot bartender, XCodes brings up a good point about the inherent inflexibility of such a device, as well as the undoubtedly-large footprint such a machine would have. Short of a bartending android, something else that wouldn’t be out of place in Star Wars, I don’t think that such a device would be practical for a home bar. Even the Bionic Bar that has been brought up in many comments are more parlor trick than actual viable device. On top of being massive, they’re kind of…really limited in their methods. They don’t have the same capability of a flesh-and-blood bartender to adjust their shake or stir to fit the drink, nor the same capacity to adjust things on the fly to meet the order. Sure, you can use the custom interface for BB, but the resulting drinks are…ehh. I had a simple Cuba Libre from one, and it was…well, not the absolute worst I’ve had, but certainly not the best. And that’s just a simple stirred drink! That said, pokeric’s point about this being an effort to sell cheap capsules is absolutely bang on the money. The ingredients in such capsules will always be inferior compared to what you can pick up at your local liquor store, both out of the need for mass-production cost-efficiency and out of the need to keep them shelf-stable for extended time periods, to say nothing of the inherent desire to keep the customer tied to a proprietary device rather than a more flexible medium. Honestly, this all makes me wonder about the viability of a machine that basically just automates pours, with reservoirs for different kinds of liquor, mixers, and sweeteners, but that would inevitably run into the same issues as the Bartesian in the vid, unless the system were able to purge the lines on command. Not to mention that it would still require the drinker to take care of ice and garnishes. Overall, it doesn’t sound too practical, now that I think about it…

[@PostSpirit]

This man is a national treasure

[@tbatrics]

Thanks. I always wondered about these.