A Same-Sex Couple's Guide To Wedding Planning

[@DearestClaudio]

Wedding staff: they're like mercenaries; they don't care what your beliefs are as long as you pay them. 😂

[@TASHITE]

I came here to say exactly this

[@amymichelle2683]

I replayed the beginning when Will said he was his husband about 40 times😍😍

[@crazwizardlizard]

+Amy Michelle omg me too

[@rickyc3433]

Amy Michelle cracks the screen not ENOUGH

[@kierucom]

My husband and I just... eliminated most of the traditions. Before we got married last October we'd already been dating for just under 10 years, and living together for about 8 of those years. Most of the traditions just didn't really have a lot of meaning to us. Persons of Honor and the Wedding Party... gone. Our pool of friends is small and shared, so the concept of asking one person to stand for one of us and not the other just didn't make sense. We thought about having our respective mothers walk us down the aisle... but a huge part of our relationship has been forged by holding each other up alone. It made more sense to walk down the aisle together. Eliminating the wedding party allowed us to reduce the size of the space needed and saved us a small fortune. I think we got the venue (with photographer) for under $1,200. We held a short reception after the wedding with a larger group of friends and family, took some more photos, ate some food and had the whole dance thing and it was great. If I'm being honest it wasn't the sort of wedding I had DREAMED of... but it was fantastic nonetheless. And... saving grace... it cost less than $8,000. The thing that's taking me time to get used to is my wedding band. I never really wore jewelry so even after 8 months it sometimes feels awkward at night or while I'm typing. "Husband" rolls off the tongue though.

[@ellasnyder3480]

Rj: "This is my husband Will...." Me: *starts crying tears of joy*

[@darrylmorrison6127]

Great advice. We had the same experiences. I'd say that our mistake was doing too much of the day-of stuff ourselves. Delegate everything you can to someone else, whether a planner or a friend or parent. Give everyone some responsibility. The point is that you have all these loved-ones gathered for your event. Don't get distracted by dealing with the caterer, or band, or whatever.

[@libradragon934]

My mum and me did my son's wedding, as his wife is from the US and the wedding was here( UK), and I totally agree with everything you said! It was sooo STRESSFUL and as you said, everything wedding is ridiculously expensive! There were tears and a few tantrums along the way... But on the day everyone had a great time, with even the venue people telling us they'd never had such a great group of people etc, and how they had had a good time too! It was all worth it.. It really does all work out in the end!

[@WhiteRaven696]

Honestly, I'm going to do the bouquet at my wedding. Even though I'm most likely marrying another man, I'm taking that flower grenade of doom and chucking it at everyone and making them crawl for it. :P

[@vollkornflocke]

+WhiteRaven696 :-D Whatever pleases you... :-D

[@amymichelle2683]

Can I go? That would be the best thing

[@WhiteRaven696]

Amy Michelle Sure. ;) Are you free in 2026?

[@amymichelle2683]

+WhiteRaven696 most likely! Let me know

[@OutOfMarbles127]

I wanna do that too, and when I throw it I´m gonna yell "Fight for it bitches!" :D

[@Blueyedrebel]

Butterfly cupcake phase, Will too busy kissing on RJ to say bye at first, and Dobby in the background.

[@vollkornflocke]

Awww, you really enjoy calling Will your husband, right? That's so fantastic! It was so interesting to see all the differences between US-American and German wedding traditions: My imagination of a rehearsal dinner was completely wrong for example... ;-) 20 000 $ is cheap...? Oh my, I'm not sure about the rest of the country, but I would say that my family (including me) would disagreee since we're used to organize many things ourselves... But money aside: The most important thing is that the brides/bride&groom/the grooms are happy with the result and each other and that's obviously the case with you two :-) Congratulations again! ❤

[@tweetthang96]

There was an article I came across recently (but can't remember where) talking about how much cheaper weddings in Europe are compared to the US. Because everything in the US comes with a high price tag, from weddings to health care to just living.

[@vollkornflocke]

tweetthang96 Might be true... I'm not an expert, butI think that 10 000 € would already be the upper limit for a "normal" wedding...

[@tweetthang96]

Yeah no American weddings are expensive. Doing one cheaply is a dream.

[@cayuk1102]

And this is why I eloped and got married in a park under a tree. Very little organisation, no decorations to stress over and very few guests to cause added stress. We then spent our wedding budget on a kick ass honeymoon!

[@kierucom]

+Cay UK My husband and i were going to go to City Hall and get it done but both of our families threw a fit (which I guess is better than their condemning the concept). Our wedding was small, but still stressful. If I could do it again I'd go with City Hall =)

[@goldeneyes90]

"This is my husband Will..." OMG you guys are adorable. I'm sad that we won't get to see you guys in the "butterfly cupcake phase" of being newlyweds though.

[@lvceline]

Holy crap, you guys have a new energy about you! The weight of the wedding has been lifted off your shoulders and it absolutely shows in both of you. I'm really looking forward to the new format on the Shep689 channel, you made the right choice in stopping daily vlogs!

[@MrTwentington]

my boyfriend and I have discussed wanting a beauty and the beast themed wedding and people always jump to "so who's the beauty and who's the beast?" which somehow feels like a glossed up "who's the man and who's the woman" like neither of us are coming out in a huge yellow dress... I think, my bf may change his mind before then. But when I say beauty and the beast I mean the reception would be decorated with candles, roses, clocks and tea cups and old books. And maybe our first dance would be a piano version of tale as old as time.

[@TheNotAdam]

+Connor C You should just answer them by saying "we're both beautiful and we're both beastly". Done. Problem solved lol

[@gazpen1978]

when will was about to say fiancé but corrected himself to say husband was so cute and I totally agree regardless of who that person is in your life if they are gonna cast negativity on your special day then they don't deserve to be there

[@erauprcwa]

As I've always said, weddings should be fun, not stressful. There will be some element of stress, but it shouldn't take away from the importance of the day for two people. Invite only the people that you feel have your best interest and only involve those people as being akin to the celebration of a next step in the evolution of your relationship. Congrats to you both. I'll be crossing that broom pretty soon myself. Ugh but yay!

[@kaitlynmitchell8937]

Congratulations guys! Nice to see you all again!

[@TheGLOSSette]

You can find a relatively cheap banquet hall that is still nice. My fiance and I found one that can seat about 100 people and it had a nice garden outside with a bridge good for photos and whatnot. The issue is the caterer to find one with a decent enough generic menu that didn't cost an arm and a leg. And since we are planning our own wedding (no wedding planner or decorator) we went with the one and only banquet hall close by that rented the hall and catered too and gave us a per head price based on the menu we choose. It is still 15 bucks or so per person above our price range but its probably the cheapest option that has decent food. They also set up the tables and place settings (not just the buffet tables which most caterers will only do that part). All we need are decorations, dj (if we want one) and liquor (they have staff included in price to work the bar).

[@vincentleonard1941]

Thank you so much for posting this video. The moment I started watching your wedding videos my brain flooded with traditional, but more importantly same-sex marriage questions. This video really helped answer most of those. Thanks and congrats again!

[@BulletSmoothie19]

Bookmarking this for when my magical day comes.

[@brunerguy1]

Your venue was so lovely and the wedding was as spectacular as you say. Wedding goals.

[@laura.elizaa]

Will is adorable.

[@ELenaJoyce95]

You can feel the love through the screen 😍

[@tossell1969]

Weddings are only as expensive as you make them. And they are the people that are there. So chill any younger viewers. You don't have to start saving from now, lol 💜💜

[@AntonWilkins94]

It's my dream to find a man who I can be as happy with as you two are together! Love you both so much!

[@jenniegriffin553]

argh died over and over starting with the notification and then the husband talk loved it all made my day somewhat better love ya both heaps

[@Heymattheww]

Currently planning my wedding in Houston, TX and you guys really hit the nail on the head. So happy for you two!

[@AmirTaha12]

Definitely would love a video talking about the honeymoon phase cause y'all seem to be so happy and feeling this stage right now

[@belizeguy]

I know you guys are glad it is done and it went so very well. Congratulations! Great work!!

[@outgiff1]

Congratulations, guys!! Watched your wedding video. It was a beautiful and personal ceremony and reception. The grounds of the Mission San Luis was perfect! And they even gave you a mention on their Facebook page! You really got away with a great price for the everything. How many guests did you have? I can't believe the was all you spent. My brother had a wedding here in Hawaii totaling $60,000 for 125 people.

[@boringapostate4194]

Thank you! This is good to know in case my daughter finds a nice girl to settle down with. My husband's and my wedding (24 years ago May 9 -- YIKES!) was small, super cheap and fairly non-traditional (my mom gave me away and we had our reception at a fast food pizza restaurant) but it was still surprisingly stressful. Wish we'd had more advice like yours. If we do a 25th anniversary thing, I'll keep it in mind.

[@MrAudienceMember2662015]

Fantastic! Can't wait to read the comments and see what other tips folks are offering. Isn't it great to be at the beginning and being able to set the bar for others to meet or beat? LOL Beautiful ceremony, guys. Dammit! I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

[@Super_Mario128]

you guys are living proof that even someone like me can one day hopefully fall in love and one daymarry the man of my dreams.

[@mikaylapenner3794]

I was in an airport when I watched it and the group I traveled with was looking at me really weird because I was crying in the airport yelling LOVE WINS😂👌🏻

[@michy5102]

You guys look so happy. In my country, everything related to wedding is so expensive. Thank you for this and your beautiful wedding videos.

[@TheStinkified]

Yaaass. I miss you guys!!!! Such a cute couple though, congrats!

[@marksaid6587]

No, Will! You *Can* still say that you are RJ's fiancé, just as much as you can still say that you are his husband (Oh my... this word sounds so special!!!!), his boyfriend and his friend. Will, you will always be all those together, for RJ, and him for you, in one person at the same time. ^_^ (Ok, me go watch rest of video now.) I was already smiling throughout the whole video but the second Will put his arm around RJ saying that my smile went all the way from ear to ear isn't enough. Thanks for the excellent and highly useful tips, lads, and for the video, of course. Love you loads as always.

[@kierucom]

+Mark Said the terms fiancé and fiancée specifically apple to a person who is "engaged to be married". Once you're married you stop being in the purgatory that is engagement.

[@marksaid6587]

You are very right, Robert Campbell, although, in the end it is just a title but you will always be the same. You can choose all the titles you were in the past in the future. No problem with that. :)

[@wayjinc2]

I loved that you guys still had a mixed wedding party it's a great idea that I might borrow in a couple of years

[@FadedRoseStoriesFairyTales]

I am quite proud that our wedding cost $6.00. and that was for the license or blood test. Dad paid the judge her fee and I made our clothes and the camp we were working at made the campers baked us a carrot cake. Wedding rings given to us from my sister's divorce, no bad karma there. Six bucks. woo hoo! 1972 Old Growth Hippie FTW 44 years in 3 days.

[@jackkiernan5950]

Me and my partner have lived together for 15 years and we are finally tying the knot next year and we so can't wait, congratulations on you both 😁

[@ImaginaryMdA]

they've separated.

[@madanium]

There were 4 wedding cakes at my sister's wedding and my brother in law made to of them because he's a baking & cooking god. Also the ending was so fricken cute. I hope Will appears in more of the videos on this channel! I miss your faces already!

[@ubaldoa.rosario1832]

guys I just dreamed I had a wedding as beautiful as yours. It gave me hope actually. thanks for sharing everything.

[@aleksandra1165]

Traditions are cool, but when you make up your own stuff, I think it can matter way more:) I'm so happy for you guys that it all went great! Lots of love!

[@jackkiernan3285]

Great advice, me and my partner have been together for 15 years and we are planning our wedding and plan to tie the knot next year we are so happy that we are going be walking down the aisle soon.

[@destryanalove9809]

Omgs welcome back! I've missed you both lols. Hugs I am so happy for both congrats again on getting married. Can't wait to see whats in store for the future. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@caitlynmartinez9638]

THIS WAS CUTE IM CRYIFND

[@kimdegris9164]

I can see the difference. Wow, such a connection there. I guess its a whole new level of comfort beimg in each others space.

[@hannahcook9304]

Literally not getting married anytime soon and still thought about all these things like I'm getting married in a month haha

[@kaolee4736]

Congrats on your wedding!!

[@cammiewinters8341]

I just can't get over how cute they are!!!

[@dinah.8291]

It may sound creepy but I find your voices really calming. I think it's because I'm used to listening to your voices before sleeping. I love your advice! ❤

[@MichiruEll]

I've been considering wedding planning recently. My partner and I will probably get married in 2 or 3 years (I suspect), and considering my hella low salary, that means I have to start saving some money. I don't need a huge wedding, but I still want something that feels sorta classy. So my budget, I think, will be around 15k. The advantage is that I don't plan on wearing a wedding dress (neither is my partner), and I made a list of guests and the total comes up to about 30 people. Hopefully that will help keeping the costs down.

[@allison8642]

I was Savage at my wedding. I didn't invite my father because it was a definite way to ensure drama, and no one needs that on their big day. I watched the ceremony and it was beautiful! 😍

[@wolfgangromine8341]

"50 shades of no" lmao

[@dennisclark-green4945]

I have watched the wedding a few times and cried every time, my husband sad what are u watching? lol it was soo beautiful!

[@dylanjohnston4388]

I watched the video twice for Dobby. I miss him. This was done really well. Good job, RJ, and special guest I think Will was your name I think . Lol. Have a great day today or a lovely night tonight. Sincerely Dylan

[@dylanjohnston4388]

Also today is What's Tending Thursday. RJ has three videos up on the channel Whats Trending:{1. PrankVsPrank BREAK UP and QUIT VLOGGING?}{2. Kanye West GOES FULL KANYE On ELLEN}{3. Bros Get ARRESTED For SELFIES?}

[@Tedah95]

It feels so good to hear them call themselves husbands!

[@Libra433]

I'm happy you loved the ceremony! I must admit, 20k seems like an insane amount of money. Then again, I am aware these sort of things tend to be more expensive in US than across the pond. I'd like to keep my wedding very small though. Congratulations on officially being husbands now!

[@TheNotAdam]

+Libra Oh trust me that's insanely cheap compared to most.

[@karalehr9710]

We have dollar dances at weddings here in South Dakota, too!

[@Bex920]

I remember my sister and her husband spending about $10,000 on their wedding (which they paid for entirely themselves) but that was about 17 years ago? Can't even remember but that was without a rehearsal dinner or a wedding planner. They wanted to do it as nicely but as cheaply as they could. I think weddings are a lot like funerals in that regard. Not that funerals are nice but just the whole cost of doing it on the lower scale.

[@hgros2002]

"Fifty Shades of No" Ha Ha I am so stealing this phrase. Congrats and great tips!

[@Danny10Carr]

Just a quick question, how many people were at the wedding? Congratulations again guys :) I am so incredibly happy for y'all! It seemed like fantastic ceremony and reception from the videos. Many blessings and happiness! Teared up too many times while watching your wedding haha

[@joelgaston7070]

Great video guys,,, just going through videos on youtube. Litteraly 1 hour ago finished my vows, and in two days getting married in England ! so thats a whole new level of planning american with English gay wedding ! but congrats and great video for up and coming wedding planners !

[@katyspencer797]

As i was watching the wedding i was wondering how you delt with some of these... Thanks for sharing! Also congratulations 😊

[@midianmtd]

So gonna run off to Vegas now. Ha-ha. Thanks RJ + Will for all the vid's. They have been amazing.

[@ArborealStop]

These are really good tips :) I enjoyed planning my wedding but it's definitely a majorly stressful thing to do.

[@Lady_Jay]

wow, $3,000 for a cake!wow how much things go up when I got married 12 years ago #oldmarriedlady our wedding come to £900 that's $1310 and I thought that was a lot and that was in a church and pub buffet lunch after with a disco . wish you both all the happyness in the world xxxx

[@alliethibodeaux6335]

You guys are seriously goals. Cutest thing ever.

[@elsas5575]

This was WAY too adorable 😚❤❤

[@emilysidlow]

Quick round of applause for spending only 20k. Thats insanely good

[@TheNotAdam]

+Emily Sidlow *bows* Thank you, thank you... lol

[@TheGLOSSette]

In my culture, you have to invite family even the uncle and aunts that you barely know or seen or hung out with. And if for whatever reason they cant come, they will get someone to represent and it's usually their kids (if their kids are teens or adults). In my case, I may (and I think it will happen but I hope not) have people from my side of the family whom I have never met come to my wedding. Not looking forward to it. I know weddings are not just about the bride and groom its about friends and family too but I wish I had a say who I wanted to invite. Will you are so lucky you did.

[@i9avici7a5]

Damn 20k / not bad! Your pic looks so cute!! Congrats and thanks for the advice ❤️❤️

[@sativaleo2418]

Congratulations, you two!

[@Nambazi]

We switched florists due to the first one not wanting to use local nurseries but vendors. And continuing to call us the bridal party rather than wedding party. Currently working with a person who uses succulents so we will have our flower arrangements 20-40 years from now

[@blacklez]

😞

[@NightFang150]

My brother got married at the Louisiana castle and he spent 3000 on the venue. and that was pretty much all he spent. the venue included catering and the cake. and it was beautiful. It also included a stay in the top of the castle tower for the night of the wedding. The only other expense was clothing.

[@nehemiahwalls6930]

Congrats Will and RJ

[@prishn2264]

great video guys! 😄

[@mentonerodominicano]

Will putting his arm around RJ was so adorable.

[@hannahshelden3550]

You guys should do the newly wed tag!

[@ashleyboylan4611]

Am I an lgbt person looking to get married? No. Is it Will and Rj so I'm watching the video anyway? Yes.

[@TJDeLuca]

I've worked as a musician for wedding ceremonies both in and outside of church/religious ceremonies. The hourly rate for a wedding is always a minimum of 1.5x the standard rate, this is usually to make up for the increased difficulty of repertoire, the high level of skill and reliable reputation required, as well as the additional stress that you typically encounter from the person(s) hiring you. With things like cakes, catering, and some other specialty services, the increased price typically comes from an increased overhead; no one wants to be the asshole who didn't bring their A game or exactly what was promised for the couple and their guests on that day. Also, we (wedding vendors) are all totally mercenaries. I need to add that to my business card: Tenor, Organist, Pianist, Mercenary for Hire ;-) That all said, you guys did amazingly well coming in at $20k. The wedding looked like it was a blast for everyone, and the ceremony was wonderful. Great job, and solid advice!

[@TheNotAdam]

+TJ DeLuca (Martyn) Helps that we've worked a lot of weddings in the past and had a lot of contacts ;)

[@TheFrancynana23]

So amazing! OMG! My husband Will!

[@CRea-zz1ru]

Cuteness overload at the end had me like 😵

[@JoasRadiomann]

0:06 Brain processing (boyfr... Oh no Fianc... Oh yeah husband! HUSBAND!) Congratulation guys! I'm so happy for you! My mom's view on same sex marriage: "Just give me a Joas Junior then you can do your gay stuff!"

[@ChristopherCampbell]

My jaw kinda dropped when you said you had to spend $20,000... but if you stand back and think about it, a bunch of little things can add up very quickly. And considering how great it all looked on the live feed, you spent your money well.

[@TheNotAdam]

+Christopher Campbell Yeah trust me that's an extremely low number for what we got.

[@ThePraiseNwosu]

omg i just love you guys so muchxxx i was just smiling the entire time🙈#goals and thanks for the tips!! will need those in like 13 years lol🙈ok byee love you two💙💚❤💜

[@ThePraiseNwosu]

also.... going to miss seeing your faces everyday😭😭but its for the bestXXXD

[@Jordandiaz74]

when RJ said "50 shades of no" LMFAO

[@anonymousanonymous5233]

Only watched this as my friend asked me how it would work and this was the first video

[@glemarzen27]

making up all the stuff that is usually tradition is so funny and true

[@claireplace7503]

In France, marriage whether for a heterosexual couple or a couple of the same sex, marriage must be made before the mayor or elected to the town or it is not legal and recognized, the ceremony is very basic, the officiate read the rights and duties of the spouses he asks the question "Would you take for husband so and so? I do and here it is finished it lasts between 10-15 minutes after that either this is the cocktail or there is a religious ceremony and then something more personal and emotional. I agree as soon as the word "marriage" is pronounced the price is so high. in France gay marriage is new (since 2013), and for several participating gay marriage organizations or straight the difference is not huge in France but I was bridesmaid twice in my life for my sister and her husband and my two best friends who are gays and emotion is so different I do not know to explain it because I was more than happy for the two couples many tears of joy were sunk. In the end the result is the same great happiness of hope love joy and SMILE and especially a breathtaking feast that makes you forget all the planning issues. Congratulations again I wish you the best you deserve it !! Love U !! See you soon for the new chapter

[@adriannaagnew4598]

This is honestly so relatable thank you!!!!!!!!!!

[@tweetthang96]

God I love you guys. I'm saving this video for future reference too lol

[@hannahbrooks2591]

"50 shades of no" RJ lmao

[@ratherryan]

I hope you have a happy marriage! :)

[@carltonthegrump4953]

Great advice! Thanks guys!

[@kenard113]

Love this one guys.... Great Job

[@harini3257]

YESSSS I missed you!!!!! ?

[@oehrk]

Dollar Dance is traditionell in Europe as well known as "veil-dance"... The couple is standing under a large veil and the guests throw money on the veil to dance with them...

[@Spark103]

Very nicely done.

[@hughcreighton9384]

You guys talk sense !!!! Many thanks !!!

[@natoyalyric1931]

when will an rj called each other husband awwwzz goals I love you guys but like how hard is it to not take out a camera an vlog as it's been what you did for like forever an Congrats

[@Blueyedrebel]

+natoya lyric I have a feeling they are enjoying themselves so much the camera isn't even a thought. My take anyway...