A Tale of Three Friends - Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord

[@ZoranTheWizard]

WHY WONT THE ENEMY FIGHT ME IN SIEGE BATTLES!? AAAAAAAAAAGH!

[@unnoticed4571]

Because fuck you, that's why. (Love you zoran, but still)

[@themerchantof1175]

ZoranTheBear to be fair, who would look at either a) a fucking bear or b) a fucking primarch and say ‘yes, I can take that on with a sword and shield’

[@cactusmann5542]

Channeling inner perturabo...

[@AlixTheRed]

Oh, You're why I heard Leman "The Wolf(Fucker)" Russ. Finally left the warp eh?

[@EvilOverlord1662]

Because the last time you fought a siege battle, your greatest enemy was the frame rate!

[@TheSealinBlack]

Enemy:”We accept your offer Grug.” Enemy: *goes away for a few seconds and walks ten steps* Enemy:”Annnnnnnnnd your offer is declined.”

[@KanuckStreams]

They said they'd lift their siege. They didn't say *for how long*.

[@Zack_Wester]

@@KanuckStreams didn´t it say for 10 days?

[@Jsay18]

Based Imperials. Just like Caesar to the Alimani Tribe. Tribe: "Hey Caesar can we cross your river so our entire tribe can settle in gaul?" Caesar: "Let me think about it for a week." [Week passes] Caesar: "No."

[@apocalypticus9934]

@@Zack_Wester It said Grug's party won't attack the Northern Empire for 10 days.

[@Ribbons0121R121]

these *_C U N T S_*

[@EB-fc2mp]

"This is unfair" - Rimmy while performing one of the more pleasant defence strategies from medieval castles. Boiling 'oil' is unfair.

[@weldonwin]

Not the funniest siege weapon though. My personal fave is the offensive tactic, of covering a pig carcass with tar, lighting it on fire and then launching it over the castle walls, so that it explodes in a hail of incendiary bacon

[@shala_shashka]

@@weldonwin that can go exactly as planned or give the defenders free food

[@gerhardjanssen6822]

@@shala_shashka i think they usually used rotten carcasses and if they'd eat that well yknow they'd be further from home than they were

[@rorrim0]

@@weldonwin I'm imagining a medieval McDonald's just loading up a trebuchet with a deep fryer. All that fat and grease must've made the fire nearly impossible to put out.

[@weldonwin]

@@rorrim0 That's pretty much what launching a flaming pig at someone would be like. All the fat in the pig melts and catches fire when the carcass bursts on impact, spraying flaming fat in all directions

[@velstro]

"1 sheep" It's an Australian thing, isn't it.

[@captaingalaxy1222]

give me a home among the gumtrees with lots ofd plum trees a sheep or two and a kangroo

[@deadraven355]

Well i think grug comes from the nz

[@lucasverawow]

nah m8, only the welsh.

[@MYSOULOFDOOM]

aren't sheep a kiwi thing though???

[@ethanschenck9714]

@@lucasverawow And considering how violently Welsh the Battanians are...

[@jameshill9325]

What does the sheep do in the party The Welshman: (goes very quiet) moral booster

[@Un-ht5bc]

Under any other context this pun wouldn't be quite as hilarious.

[@Mahons]

@@Un-ht5bc Well it could also have been The New Zealander: (goes very quiet) moral booster

[@BoZoiD57]

"The furry has a gun!" Best line of the video.

[@TonusStoneshield]

Rimmy engages Space Wolves 41349 colorized.

[@MrCurbinator]

Having fought forest bandits all fucking night trying to do a story hideout raid, this had me dying

[@gaintrobotsrulez]

*Thousand Son seeing Wolves engage at range during the Heresy*

[@GaleHUN]

When you bully some fursuit guy at a con, but you both remember you're in the US.

[@sillylittleowlguy2392]

@@GaleHUN old western standoff time

[@tau_noob7993]

"How do you feel?" "I know Turkish..."

[@robberyproductions1363]

"Can you translate something for me then?"

[@markmcgehee3864]

“Only written”

[@Whale_stream]

The Northern Empire has conquered calradia, now, but while I know that no enemies remain for Failure, I also feel like no friends remain, either. My imperial associates were friends by necessity, nothing else. Now that the last Battania has had his head separated for his shoulders, I wonder... What Calradia has lost now that it's all purple-pink. And it only took 26 hours.

[@eriktheos6022]

"Mmm I wonder who Rimmy is" "Sees that one is called failure." "I truly wonder"

[@arthurblackfire5247]

But in the end that's not him

[@WeirdPros]

I thought the same thing I think that's the April Fools part of this series

[@danielvasquez3391]

And then you see grug

[@coleydragon7839]

Kurt Neelen Did you not see the human shrek on the thumbnail or at the start of the thumbnail?

[@manualcontrol5581]

"Why is Grug the Charismatic one?" I mean, When even an moron like Grug tells you something is stupid to do, Who are you to argue? Plus everyone gets affected by the "Lovable Oaf" aura he seems to have.

[@TheThingInMySink]

When a 8ft giant tard with the brain capacity of a baked bean tells you to do or not do something believe me the last thing you want to do is start arguing with him.

[@mranderson9553]

it like how kids tell you how it is, if a kid says your ugly then your ugly

[@Choppytehbear1337]

"The fetal alchohol syndrome is hitting him hard." I should be mad at that, but I'm laughing too hard.

[@depressedlifesaver]

Grug seems like he's the kind of guy who would create the Nation of Rockmania

[@StormTrooperTK-1138]

Are we not sure that Grug is Kennth’s ancestor?

[@alexanderthegreat6682]

@@StormTrooperTK-1138 he definitely was

[@ulfricstormcloak9650]

we must petition rimmy to create the rockmanian empire in mount and blade with kenneth as his character

[@omegawolf2589]

The men were inspired by Grugs tactics in the defense of the castle that they decided to charge in.

[@NoahLoydOG]

"Wait There's a second door, Grug wasn't prepared for this!" Somebody call up Shadiversity.

[@tanith117]

Grug Learned his lesson of the second door that day and put it to good use during the Siege of Castle Grug weeks later.

[@21owlgirl72]

I never get over the fact you hang out with a Primarch

[@whitemoon8987]

A Cadian Commisar goes out to drink with the Primarch of the Space Wolves.

[@21owlgirl72]

@@whitemoon8987 Maggy: "SPACE WOLVES??!! AAAAAAGGGHHH FUCKIN'FURRIES!

[@twistedblast5253]

That intro would make the emperor himself proud

[@theneighborkids2207]

Do you know what the song is?

[@twistedblast5253]

@@theneighborkids2207 here you go bud kzbin.info/www/bejne/e17OnmWql7l7jMU

[@theneighborkids2207]

@@twistedblast5253 thanks

[@TheArklyte]

It's feudal times. So while getting the ransom seems a good idea, you need to consider that enemy nation will only have noblemen to lead their armies. Less noblemen, less armies. So there's actually a point in killing them off. I have a suspicion that the game might be cheating and just spawning in new ones, but unless that is true and they actually need time to get new family members, I'd say kill every last one of them while your factions are at war. Let peasants go for free, ransom knights and mercs, execute all nobles. Use assymetric warfare against fuckers.

[@robert_gaming]

With how the game works, he is only temporarily limiting them, as the noblemen will slowly have children, and those children will one day grow up to lead their own armies, making it only a temporary setback. I mean, if rimmy was lucky enough he could miraculously capture ALL the lords and kill them off, and then there'd be no one to make new lords.

[@TheArklyte]

@@robert_gaming well, if you assault single country and are constantly in battle, this will start making a dent on them eventually. And as underdog, you'd need that edge.

[@Galdenberry_Lamphuck]

GRUG HOOD

[@Elitex62]

I mean, you could do that in Warband in a more ethical way, just keep them captive.

[@Galdenberry_Lamphuck]

@@Elitex62 Have them subsist solely on a diet of cum soup. Its home made

[@sar_ptolemy]

rimmy when are you going to voice a character in alfabusa's TTS

[@osama-binladder8908]

Rimmy is secretly the emporer

[@thotbegone368]

Voices a cadian guardsman

[@ellieblaber4243]

@@thotbegone368 the guardsman who just wanders in then runs off when scared?

[@Ananas_on_fire]

@@ellieblaber4243 No,thats Karl

[@whatisupmyfellowamericans8808]

He should totally do Jagatai Khan once he gets introduced

[@rorrimtoht7177]

27:56 "Grug use rock, it is extremely efective. Critical hit!"

[@diamondmetal3062]

Coincidentally, me and my friend came up with a character in DnD named “Grok the Barbarian”. His intelligence would be as low as possible, so the only word he speaks is his own name. However, his charisma would be very high, so despite that, he would also be very persuasive. I think Grug is this idea come to fruition.

[@ashstaredviper]

Yeah. a big ass barb than can only say his name. I'll easily be persuaded so that he doesn't end me.

[@alephkasai9384]

Grugs banner looks like Nurgle's friggin symbol

[@rockythesnailracechampion7144]

Heresy?

[@commissarrichardson2715]

If he is a heretic time to purge him

[@wilmagregg3131]

well he does have a face only nurgle could love

[@herrdoctor2895]

Dont you guys know? Grug is Nurgle's grandson.

[@Canadian_Zac]

And there's also the double-headed eagle. And a vaguely Fenrisian symbol

[@kommando293]

Too bad there isn’t coop for these three. Imagine Grug pulling a Jojo on the other two

[@Rlwnn]

that's a good idea let's just pray to the mods

[@Minotaur-cd9ch]

@Timothy Dexter you literally understand nothing about mount and blade if you think that

[@RigzGrid]

@@Minotaur-cd9ch I mean devs have considered it and said once its finished it might be added later on

[@Minotaur-cd9ch]

@@RigzGrid but the kind of coop needed for this to happen is separate party coop which the devs said is impossible if you want to keep the normal mount and blade experience. This has been debated to death for like 10 years. It will not happen,

[@Minotaur-cd9ch]

@Aspiring Marauder you had me until that last idea.

[@Sabwones]

"Grug, what is best in life?" "To cuck your enemies, to see them blown up before you, and to hear the lamentations of their sheep."

[@oskar11245]

I think everyone would Love to see more Bannerlord. 😂😂

[@shimavitz47]

I find failure in my daily life, I don't need a link ;)

[@Whale_stream]

LMAO

[@Asurnasurpal]

"I think I can speak turkish" is to this day, one of the single funniest lines ever spoken to me.

[@abowlofguac5979]

I didn’t know rimmy was a fan of folk and dagger

[@theironbrigade7522]

The opening song is Knights Templar by Johannes Bornlöf if anyone’s curious :) m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZ-UiJ6YZp14aaM

[@ImperialGuard322nd]

You sir, are a scholar and a Gentleman.

[@its_dippy6779]

"We are the Wolfskins, let it be known that we eat no cooked meat, wear no woven cloth." *is wearing clothes* *YOU'VE BECOME THE VERY THING YOU SWORE TO DESTROY!*

[@roadent217]

Nah. To be fair, it's all metal mail, leather and fur pelt. No woven textiles.

[@weldonwin]

@@roadent217 Still, the no cooked meat thing means half their army is going to be sick with food poisoning all the damn time

[@jameshobbs225]

~Shudders` Don't remind me about the crossbow lines. For shear alpha strike they'll wreck anything that comes near.

[@tenacityxl]

The sheep is for condoms isn’t it. Or the sheep IS the condom.

[@junatah5903]

Funt fact, sheeps where used as condoms, the british refined this idea by removing the intestines.

[@chromitehertz9016]

@@junatah5903 old joke

[@cvetomirgeorgiev9106]

*army of a noble attack Grug* Grug: I sleep *10 Looters with rocks* Grug: Grug is scared

[@greaterdanemark2397]

“Wanderlust” mmmmmmmmmm Yes. Always was more of a personal revenge kind of man myself though

[@scoutobrien3406]

Just saw your newest video Rimmy. I thought this intro was awesome. Made me seriously want to watch several more times over the last few days. Even if less people are seeing it and youtube isn't promoting it, a lot of us check for your new content and the effort makes a big difference to us.

[@cupojoe9462]

By any chance, is the celtic-themed faction somewhat Welsh? The sheep'd make more sense then

[@Minotaur-cd9ch]

@Timothy Dexter what kind of ignorant comment is this

[@chromitehertz9016]

@Timothy Dexter why are you this dumb

[@haydenleffler8616]

Batannia is basically the Celtic faction

[@Chilipopcorn]

Inb4 you can end a siege with 1 man by dropping bombs at them

[@JustAJosuke]

ahhh, that stream was fucking gold.

[@frenchfriedshorts]

Mentions of Anprims, the name Grug, I think a Jreg Collaboration is inevitable

[@seanhoffman8990]

Failure’s running around saying “grant us eyes, grant us eyes” in Turkish, I know it

[@oliwierkarnicki3953]

Rimmy keep doing this. It does not matter if the video got demonetized , this is great and the intro was like a movie series

[@ellieblaber4243]

of course the voice actor for leman russ would join the nords also that siege was fucking masterful

[@theoneandonlydetraebean8286]

Leman Russ had some weird adventures on Fenris before he met the Emperor of Mankind

[@themidgen4504]

They whole coming back to the tavern thing is a total Drangonlance thing, i am of the much happy

[@eyangamedud3293]

Didn't know the empire had memelords for their commanders. Damn

[@tankdavis9845]

19:16 Grug starts to push the Battering Ram as the massive Siege army starts chanting his name as a true champion of the Battaians

[@louiseegan488]

I watched both of the streams and I loved both of them so much fun to watch

[@jkwayne7174]

Grug is actually really intelligent, he just can't speak

[@knightpaladin9359]

Now imagine if you could have your men throwing those bombs too

[@TheRiot307]

Idk if you know this rimmy but different cultures have different styles of board games at their respective taverns!

[@gyroscope915]

2 years on and this is still fucking brilliant. Well done rimmy. It's a shame you never made more like these

[@maximnikolaev6627]

Taleworlds should hire you guys as Viking Voices. Great voice actors c:

[@borgar1765]

27:57 Grug committed a war crime

[@Predator20357]

How is it a War Crime? I’m genuinely asking

[@Coolinjay04]

Predator 20357 he was joking

[@Predator20357]

Hayden Coleman I mean, I know he was joking but the joke doesn’t make sense

[@Coolinjay04]

Predator 20357 ok

[@weldonwin]

@@Predator20357 Incendiary weapons are considered war crimes under the Geneva convention, so yes, by modern standards him dropping a big pot of Naphtha on a crowd would be a war crime

[@magnificentbeard5506]

Did Rimmy just recently discover Code Ment, or has he known it for years? He's been quoting it a lot lately and I love it.

[@yes-par2983]

Wait wait Zoran the Bear? 1 of my favourite youtubers and my aberslute favourite tts voice actor for his voice and spirit

[@valkrae4876]

I knew as soon as Zoran was in this video, that it would be filled with Karl the Deranged references.

[@OrificeHorus]

Seeing Zoran makes me want Rimmy to voice a character in If The Emperor had a Text To Speech lmao

[@chromehound6181]

Best video I've seen in a while, this is amazing! 😂😂

[@cvetomirgeorgiev9106]

Every 5 minutes somebody entered the stream and said "looks like human shrek" in chat. Just showed you succeeded

[@insight-chris7570]

Hey Rimmy I just wanted to let you know I really enjoyed this Video and I really liked the way you edited the Video. I am really sorry that YT demonitised this Video and I cant understand why they say that we the audience don't like it I mean hey the likes on this Vid truely show that we did enjoy it.........mostly at least. What I enjoyed most was when Grug was pointing out how good his oen sheep is and I totally lost it there. So pls do more Videos like this one and keep it up Mate. Have a good one :D

[@dippybanjo1914]

I swear i blink and my favorite channels are starting leak into each other again....

[@LordVader1094]

I'm so happy there was a Ravandil reference in there, LOL

[@DoctheKobold]

holy shit, Rimmy knows Zoran, Zoran works on tts, The possabilty of Rimmy doing a geust role in tts is real, thiss the somewhat best timeline

[@SecretRedBeard]

I really liked your intro here, felt like an actual show!

[@KickBAc3]

So we've got what it looks like the mark of the sun from Silent Hill, the air tribe nomads from Avatar and the Imperium of Man? An odd crossover but a crossover welcomed nonetheless.

[@noahstirling8645]

This is the best aye rimmy we need more of it love the effort it took keep it up mate

[@bobsalame5442]

Leman Russ?

[@Redlinkz1235]

i know right

[@Panzerbunn]

Leman Russ, brother.

[@harpie6222]

Yes he wølfing is Leman Russ

[@commissarrichardson2715]

@@Panzerbunn ah a fellow commisar

[@KubinWielki]

Finally, a game that properly represents what a MAJOR advantage the fortifications give you - being able to hold off an army several times larger than your own. That is, if it's a player-defended siegie. The AI doesn't make any real use of the gate defenses.

[@Darnakas]

Next Time on Bannerlord: See how Grug became the new King of Battania! All hail King Grug! Grug! Grug!

[@doctorsnakeeater1997]

This entire video plays like an old episode of Blackadder and I *love it* Edit: Zoran's character even LOOKS like he'd be played by Stephen Fry!

[@tristianmartinez1037]

That intro gave me chills it was so well done.

[@dedbread6503]

04:06 wife acquired

[@infernosgaming8942]

"It looks like Rome" **TIME TO SAC IT!**

[@jordray5823]

I- I am speechless his beauty... his wisdom... his medieval napalm... majestic

[@isThreeman]

FOR THE EMPIRE!* *specifically the Southern Empire.

[@theduchyofmilanball3157]

Ah yes, I see you are also a man of culture.

[@Whale_stream]

😡

[@weldonwin]

The Emperor/Emporess Protects

[@jakeking974]

I swear, the guy Grug made peace with heard "yeah, I wanna make peace over sorta killing one of your nobles...", turned to his second in command, and whispered "how much were we willing to pay?" "A thousand, sir" "What the fuck?! Seriously?" "Yes, sir" "Fuck me... I sure hope I'm not worth a thousand."

[@TapdotWater]

Dixie was the first thing I thought of when I heard Age of Aggression/Oppression too.

[@TheKhive]

Go Leman Russ! We are counting on you!

[@memes_the_dna_of_the_soul5487]

14:34 Okay, but given that the ransom was only 1000, this implies that the cost of forgetting all of grugs crimes is 92 gold.

[@sigmamaleaffirmationhypnob7340]

Metatron intro song? Nice

[@Daltastar2012]

Rimmy, your doing great we all love you and stay strong, it's very well made video and your doing great.

[@buckleandthelads7806]

I love rimmy's code ment references! Code Ment was the one of the best abridgedment series ive seen to date . Teamfourstar's hellsing abridgedment was also hella good

[@_SubhumanMonroe]

I scrolled so many comments down to find someone who got them, and though I may be seven months late you have my undying respect for Code Ment and Hellsing Abridged

[@Roche_sanderson]

1:42 Rimmy, that laugh is literally the beginning of feel good Inc. - Gorillas

[@jorgeigualbonilla9998]

Now that was an intro

[@thegentleman9650]

Battanian mercenary for the southern empire. Uses imperial troops. Symbol is the templar cross. Name: Buff Jeebus

[@raiderhanks364]

Playing Dixie? Okay this is epic

[@LeroyJ12]

Dam, that intro is still fire after rewatching it 5 times

[@jollydale9591]

Epic, waited so long dir this game .

[@hammerhead0074]

Ah, code ment, what a series

[@Tairneanach]

18:10 Well, that dignified contender didn't look so dignified with an arrow sticking out of his face.

[@adamyoung6797]

Very cool intro Rimmy, I’m proud of you

[@Vooman]

26:00 Well, they never really agreed to drop the siege, they only agreed to let you go.

[@MetaSieg]

Grug!, Grug!, Grug!

[@JamesWilliams-vu6qr]

I need to see more of this thank you Rimmy

[@insomniac6079]

Yeah bb! Bannerlords here

[@swivelshivel6576]

“Sheep is much softer than woman with devil eyes”

[@fuzzbuster007]

I literally cannot stop putting leman russ's face over everything every time he talks he says

[@LootGoblinPenny]

What a beautiful story-telling experience.

[@Mimeturtle]

Grug’s dad is like a wide image gigachad

[@dragutintheslav-veliki790]

Scatsbury, Soviet Womble *and* Rimmy upload on the same day??! Best April Fools ever!!

[@robertd9067]

0:00 has my metatron senses tingling

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

26:39 The Yeet War did not go very well for Grug...