"A TASTE OF XENOS" WARHAMMER 40K AUDIO

"A TASTE OF XENOS" By A.R Yemruk.
Produced and narrated by A Vox in the Void
'Fear the alien. Hate the alien. Kill the alien. Eat the alien.'
- Chef Basilious III
A huge thankyou to A.R Yemruk for reaching out with his work and for @coldopenstories for allowing me to adapt the story into audio!
Links to the authors work:
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#shortstories

[@yemruk]

Hey Vox! Amazing work, as always. You really brought a lot of life and character to this little story. It’s been a lot of fun working with you and hopefully we’ll get more chances again in the future. I’ll be lurking around if anyone has questions!

[@thunder2434]

I have a few questions. Was the Xeno a Gaunt of some kind or an unusually large Ripper? Or something we haven't seen yet... Is it possible that we get a follow-up investigation of the incident in a later story?

[@yemruk]

@@thunder2434 Hey! I think part of what makes it more engaging is to let reader ask these questions and draw their own conclusions. Especially in a story like this where we're locked to the perspective of someone who wouldn't be familiar with all the xenos races the same way an inquisitor might. I know it's not really what you were hoping for, but sometimes the questions are more fun than the answers! You know, I hadn't necessarily considered a sequel. But anything is possible! Maybe something I'll put some thought into. And maybe it'll shed some more light on the mystery for you, too! Thanks for the questions!

[@thunder2434]

@@yemruk Thank you! No worries. You're absolutely right about the vagueness shaping the feel of the story. Any well informed Chef wouldn't cook one in the first place. :)

[@johnd2058]

Yeah, this went amazingly hard at the end.

[@NiKoLay988]

i like the fact that 40K years in the future the chef is still french

[@mastercharlesdiltardino8058]

And the French are still cowards who refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

[@MrPedroleiria]

its grimdark for a reason I guess.

[@ksh2596]

​@@MrPedroleirianope. In a true grim dark fashion, the chef would be British. A French chef is the opposite of grim dark. Although I prefer Italian.

[@timwhite5562]

And a coward

[@xavis_dad]

​@@timwhite5562 God bless America It's our burden to have to be obnoxious

[@doubledeputyd4242]

"Finally some good F***ing Food" - Inquisitor Gordan Ramsey

[@sessy01]

Honestly, if anyone read Ciaphas Cain... If Kroot won't eat it, YOU don't eat it.

[@siamihari8717]

Know what thats a good metric. Lets see if the Administratum would be willing to enslave the Kroot rather then exterminate them... infact why hasnt humanity tried that yet. Hate the Xeno, Work the Xeno. Could make some truly f-up stories with that primise there

[@hazel5092]

Well they ate necrons and I sure as hell don’t wanna munch down on some Spoony scary Metall skeleton

[@generaljedi8691]

Olivia might have had the forbidden knowledge of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tyranid. The world may never know 🤷‍♂️

[@the36lessons11]

Going with the cook's theory...you didn't hear Olivia dying, no screams, no pounding. She was near the waiter with a hole in his neck...She a damn Genestealer Cultist!

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Dun Dun Dunnnnn!

[@the36lessons11]

@@AVoxintheVoid 🤣

[@unfortunateson1938]

Pretty sure the meal was a Tyrannid Ripper.

[@joshua1943]

​@unfortunateson1938 the creature sounds way too large to be a ripper. Maybe a ravener. Though why would consuming its meat cause that kind of aggressive mutation? Shouldn't they be fatally toxic?

[@intboom]

It'd explain why people's faces are melting tbf

[@ericlarrieu-let5757]

What I learned in this video: Space worm is not food. Space worm reproduces quickly. Always blame the dead. Terran lobsters are still around in the 41st millenium, at least in the kitchen.

[@ElectricalExistence]

we saved those before we drained the water off.

[@clan741]

I imagine when humans colonized planets during the golden age of technology we took all our animals with us. Gotta have plant and animal life on the planets we terraformed after all.

[@UGNAvalon]

@clan741 “Mommy, why do we call these ‘Terran Lobsters’? Is there a ‘Terra’ somewhere across the ocean? Are there non-Terran Lobsters?”

[@GeofAndrews]

@clan741 most of the flora and fauna that we have today will most likely go extinct before we are able to colonize and terraform other planets, ocean or not. Overfishing, plastic waste, other waste... those will cause mass extinctions in the ocean alone.

[@markusnavergard2387]

Lobsters are ancestors to tyranids and now they are back for vengence

[@greycommotion]

Don’t you hate it when you cook a Xenos maggot-crocodile, and it’s consumption turns everyone into rabid zombies? Easily done really.

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Haha! Surely it's the first thing you learn in the culinary schola?

[@rubennova8116]

Just reading the title I knew they were going to cook a Tyranid and, goes without saying, things would go wrong.

[@epiendless1128]

At the risk of stating the obvious, you are what you eat.

[@UGNAvalon]

See, this is why we should be grateful for our corpsestarch!

[@ironduke5058]

So Guilliman is an Eldar?

[@ArnoldJudasRimmer..]

😂😂

[@ArnoldJudasRimmer..]

Tau-flesh sausages with Cumberland spices?...

[@kylemackinnon5696]

Lamenter: I dont remember eating the darkones own luck but ok then

[@knightvisiongoggles7934]

Warhammer 40k: The Era of " You know you done fucked up right"?

[@JurassicB8245]

I love these stories of "common" humans in the horror of 40k!

[@AVoxintheVoid]

A lot of my really early videos were all about the 'common man'. check em out if you like!

[@yemruk]

Me too. We get plenty of Space Marines and Guardsmen and everything. What I love about Warhammer is how expansive the universe is- so I want to peek into all those little corners we don’t see very often.

[@hazel5092]

They also tend to be the most emotionally damaging xD

[@kettleengine1383]

damm this gives kitchen nightmares a whole new meaning

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Haha love it, I'll channel my inner Ramsey if this gets a sequel 😎

[@kettleengine1383]

@@AVoxintheVoid XD do it.

[@ThePigeon5734]

What I got from this is you should always scan the food yourself, but do it AFTER your assistant. That way if they try to kill everyone you save the crew AND get to rat them out as a heretic!

[@Robert_Douglass]

DEEZamn. Who's to say the Emperor wasn't Niccoló Machiavelli at one time?

[@adventarchivist5789]

Maybe next time, just get take out.

[@Salsa-manda]

Nothing beats a couple of 20 piece chicken nugget meals from Maccy D's

[@adventarchivist5789]

@@Salsa-manda I prefer Catachan Fried Chicken.

[@enxman7697]

@@adventarchivist5789 With extra Snotling Sauce

[@user-cv6rl2qy1g]

@@adventarchivist5789 Slow roasted Grox ribs. The sweetest nectar spurs. From the spiciest of flowers. Sipping Amesec during sunset. Slanesh =D

[@donkface8509]

Also next time, if the thing has armoured exoskeleton, teeth that can open a can, and eyes that can give you fear... Dont try to eat it

[@hegodamask4887]

Tyranid lobster also Olivia was a genestealer!!!

[@KillTeamHungary]

Nobody realized Livia was a damn GS cultist bcs she always had her cook's hat on which disguised her ridged forehead.

[@casketbase7750]

In Grimdark Imperium, food consumes *you.*

[@jkee9760]

I sort of expect a chef to fall into slaanesh grasp looking for perfection. Would have been interesting

[@sotheofdaein]

lmao I had this idea for a character named Francois whose an emperors children chaos space marine who serves Slaanesh through cooking. And he broadcasts his cooking show to the imperium much to the chagrin of the inquisition.

[@sotheofdaein]

And he prepares these outlandish dishes that use daemonic ingredients that you can get from the eye of terror

[@Kingofthekaiju]

The Tome of Excess for one of the old RPGs has a great short story about a Slaaneshi chef who ends up cooking himself

[@hieioni3354]

@@Kingofthekaiju How does that work? Lol

[@UGNAvalon]

Ok, serious question: What kinda self-respecting chef grabs a random mystery critter and thinks “yep, steaming should be good enough” ?? For all we know, it could be fugu fish, or its blood explodes when exposed to prolonged heat, or the meat tastes terrible without the proper seasonings to counteract the sharp taste, or it was just about to birth its millions of young!

[@AVoxintheVoid]

But Livia ran it 'through the scanners'...

[@UGNAvalon]

@@AVoxintheVoid Ah, right. Good point. :/

[@handledhandlehandlinghandler]

Cajuns. Cajuns is the answer. And it is delicious!

[@chadsolomon1259]

I just love that how in the darkness of the far future, there is still fine dining😅

[@jacobdarling1524]

And that’s why you always check the internal temperature before serving

[@merekgrimaldus9865]

We're gonna need a bigger flamer

[@sphyre1196]

At least the Captain got a meal he didn't forget for the rest of his life.

[@robbabcock_]

As a chef I love the perverseness of this tale!

[@Robert_Douglass]

I have a bit of a culinary imagination as well, but Emperor damn!

[@JWat-ko1hr]

I was a chef once. Assuming you served some tyranid there. Probably better to get a psyker to look over it first. Can't tell you how many times a fellow head chef or a sous made a horrible decision.

[@captainomoplata643]

“Babe wake up, new Vox just dropped.” Give us something on Constantin Valdor!!!

[@user-my6td8mg5d]

As a French chef who's also a warhammer 40k fan, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. C'est Parfait 👌

[@sparkeykills1]

Welp, guess that answers the question of "does the synapse connection that genestealers posses work after death and cooking" the answer is yes lol 😅 very much so yes

[@mattwilson9937]

If shrimp are bug like, does that my tyranids shrimpy?

[@thunder2434]

Yes

[@Spartan135]

depends on wich bioform the Norn-Queen sh*ts out to ruin your day.

[@Ironbattlemace]

What a damn range of voices you have. You were made for this and your writing, All The Gods Are Dead series is one of my big favourites and I rifle through 40k stories very hard.

[@AVoxintheVoid]

I'm super stoked you enjoyed all the gods are dead! I think judging by the analytics people either love it or hate it as the two further parts don't get half as much love 😜

[@Ironbattlemace]

@@AVoxintheVoid It just grabbed me, you have a amazing way of conveying visuals with writing, you can see the unwashed degenerates and a meek man who is tormented by the cowardliness of himself and is near close of turning to a full fledged psychopath because of it.

[@probablythedm1669]

​​​@@AVoxintheVoidif it makes you feel better, all the gods are dead is literally what made me subscribe and binge most of you work. It's great work man! Thank you! 😀

[@dbayles3677]

@@AVoxintheVoidreally surprised to hear that. I love ATGAD, must’ve listened to all 3 at least once a month at this rate, it’s phenomenal work

[@Garviel_Loken.]

That was an awesome series. It's so delighting to see such talented announcer to read these books for us!

[@krissteel4074]

The Imperium really needs to get less grim mopey sads about the Tyranids and do what comes naturally, look at them like meat on the claw and they're practically free. You can go out there and just get as many as you want.

[@thunder2434]

Lol. I foresee some problems but go ahead. :)

[@LG-rg4ut]

I expected this to be so much darker.

[@Salsa-manda]

For lack of a better pun, that meal must have been to die for

[@Driftking305forlife]

Olivia got one on you chef. You done f-up on this one.

[@daddyyu-gi-oh4330]

Already listened on the other platform but we listen again! Views for the view god!

[@ml696]

"I LUV MASH SPUD" said Bob. I miss Bob.

[@toomaskotkas4467]

Remember the "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" where they are served the fresh monkey brains? Now imagine the same scene but with heads of orcs instead. LOL

[@CozyCabinLife5301]

As some one who has seen some.. horrifying things in his time? When someone suggests you cook the alien creature? You immediately assume the suggester is an alien.. and promptly handle the situation.

[@funhouse617]

Are they eating a nid???

[@thunder2434]

Yes.

[@leonardooliveira9268]

LMAO

[@Robert_Douglass]

How, Emperor tell me, could anyone think to EAT a Genestealer??!

[@thunder2434]

Well it was steamed. Should be ok, right?...

[@Robert_Douglass]

@@thunder2434 Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................................................nothanks

[@balazsvarga1823]

A tip, this would have worked betted with a chaos tainted mutation. Tyranids don't really do this in 40k, especially not Raveners, and some old lore book mentioned tyranid flesh is hard as kevlar. But they do have devourers, so eating it would set off the ammo bugs and... well they would bite back.

[@JakeBaldwin1]

Did the chef try to serve a tyranid ripper and the diners get turned into ripper hybrids?

[@Spartan135]

i always asked myself why imperial citizens are only allowed ration bars,refined human waste or corpse starch to eat.only in the 40k universe you getting mutated into the alien horror you ate... humans are not allowed to have nice things in warhammer,not even good food.

[@JakeBaldwin1]

@@Spartan135 Don't they also eat grox and other space animals? Eating only recycled humans would give you calories but not the nutrients and minerals that you need to stay functioning.

[@SebastianA.W.]

​@@Spartan135tyranids are not good food. In 40k, tyranid think good food IS YOU

[@Spartan135]

@@SebastianA.W. i didn't meant the nids with "good food". 😆

[@thunder2434]

@@Spartan135 Has anyone seen a real Grox? Do we know for certain they're not captive Tyrannoforms of some kind?

[@sadwingsraging3044]

Can't go for a walk. Can't take a nice ride. Can't have a nice meal. Can't even take a bloody dump without wondering if today is the day 40k bites you in the arse.😑

[@disastablasta3767]

Obviously doesn’t taste his dishes before serving them.

[@Turnil321]

I once made a self-made astra milistarium regiment that eats xeno's because the planet they come from grows the greenskin mushrooms and orkiods.

[@ashleykettle343]

I’ve been a professional chef for 15 year, and I can tell you from experience, this a typical service…

[@ChillAssTurtle]

God Emperor damnit Olivia!! She shouldn't have done did what she done

[@connorriggs1518]

That was truly a meal to be savored and I will sure upon some future data yet to be disclosed return for a second serving to enjoy once again. Thank you Vox for the video

[@ChaoticVoicesofAndreas]

Stunning rendition of the story my man! Love the use of subtle sound effects and accompanying music! And hey, your French accent n'est pas mauvais!

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Haha! Thanks, I'm sure it's completely offensive to any french speaking listeners but thought I'd give it a try!

[@lowkeysnail]

Cheif gets a tyrannyd. @ Cooks it @ Captain and his guests "Finally, some fking good food"

[@fahadhossain5705]

Woohoooo.... I watched it in Rumble but I'm very happy it made it to YT. Three cheers for VOX

[@MNM-lq9te]

Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!

[@SamiKotiranta]

Headphones on immediately and just enjoy... Thank for the amazing content Vox❤️❤️❤️

[@HueMann-mf1on]

Lessons learned... should've deep fried it 😔

[@JDSG360]

Suffer not the alien to eat!

[@muffin1119]

Holy shit, I was not expecting something this amazing.

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Thankyou! Glad it 'went down' well!

[@funbro99]

Reminds me of a campaign I was in that had us follow a rumor of "exotic meat" that lead us to a market, questioning for a sample of this supposed meat for I was a commissar, acompanied by 2 guardsmen and a Inqusitor..natutally this tells you that it wasnt mere "exotic meat" but while the questioning for a sample of this exotic meat from any meat market failed. It eventually lead us to a warehouse that we attempted to recon only to get ambushed by automated stubber turret and before we knew it, a firefight happend. While the firefight wasbongoing, we uncovered what had truly happend...they had captured a carnifex and was cutting it up for meat. In the end, the inqusitor tried to end the xeno via melta but buckled, forcing me to carry her up so she could aim better and end it, thus ending that mission and gaining me some new allies.

[@Robert_Douglass]

Nicely told, Inquisitor. When I first began to listen to this my first thought was "They've cooked an Ork" but this was far more disturbing. Well, to me, anyway. I'm sure an Ork would find this hilarious.

[@yermanoh]

@@Robert_Douglass would taste like mushroom surely

[@yemruk]

That’s awesome! What game were you playing?

[@MyMomSaysImKeen]

Great to see you & Cold Open collaborating.

[@YTSqwid]

Traceability is... important 😮

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

To Serve Xenos

[@enxman7697]

Cold Open Stories are really wonderfull people

[@AVoxintheVoid]

They most definitely are!

[@Dracologist]

ogryn sees dead daemon "Good eatin!"

[@dethkultbadger]

Yay… I prefer vox to audible books. The style of story telling is excellent, he just draws you in and keeps you captured by the intense detail in the stories , the tones and accents . The writing is superb and his telling is flawless . Respect to the author and to vox. May the emperor protect.

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Thank you so much! I'm gonna be mixing up the lengths of my narrations soon. Some a lot longer, some like this. Hope you enjoy!

[@CLCasual]

Sounds more like a taste of chaos

[@patrickdwyer320]

thats just a good dude

[@grantsrants665]

Well, that was mildly more disturbing than usual.

[@grantsrants665]

My god, a cubic micron of attention! (Seriously, thanks man! Love your work!)

[@metalcore3579]

Tyranid tar tar is is a no go

[@Fartnuggets]

This read was most delicious, I enjoyed this lots. Thank you very much just hope KZbin doesn’t take it down for us all enjoying your content or something.

[@jimmybarnes7178]

You're on cold open stories🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@jimmybarnes7178]

This is a really sad story homemade fry cook the imperium of men's army

[@rougenarwhal8378]

eat the xenos, before they evolve to have a stomach and eat you!

[@arguss311]

I need more lore like this! Great job Vox!

[@AVoxintheVoid]

I do like the shorter snappier pieces myself. Hopefully I can do more like this soon. Maybe for a patreon.....

[@arguss311]

@@AVoxintheVoid you got a link to go with that comment? :D

[@AVoxintheVoid]

@@arguss311 not yet! This week!

[@arguss311]

@@AVoxintheVoid You TEASE!!! Look forward to seeing it!

[@Dubs22005]

i kinda wanna taste it too

[@venerablebrothergoriate5844]

Take it from an Iron Hand who was stuck on the ass-end of space for about 2 centuries, cut off from all supply lines with only a chainaxe and a plasma blaster. Nids taste like rubber no matter how you cook em. Orks surprisingly dont offer much protien, and are unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your preferences, are loaded with psychoactive substances. Eldar are dry and stringy, like a cross between jerky and celery. Tau are... okay I guess. A little bland is all. But considering they dont do much melee combat, the meat is surprisingly tender. And if you think you can eat a Necron, well... I respect your determination but there are some struggles that no digestive tract can overcome. Best just to stick with protien rations.

[@chazt2249]

Served with a butter sauce? Made from what milk, exactly?!?

[@chuck2703]

Grox milk

[@chazt2249]

@@chuck2703 Gross. Gimme Grots milk instead

[@miket2394]

"I will stick to my corpse starch, thank you very much." The Emperor provides!!!

[@AlphariusXX426]

This so depressing TTS: Magnus the rad

[@Greatfang1319]

A wonderful short story, amazingly narrated. Cant wait for more

[@syos1979]

Saw it on rumble (after seeing it announced on KZbin) and definitely gonna listen to it again in the shower.

[@qigonglungz]

Wow... staring at that image of that nasty looking plate while listening to this is an experience, in and of, itself. Looks like brain matter, beets, mushrooms, and offal... this is a great choice of audio story... lmao...!!!

[@beevis690]

Im making steak listening to this smiling.

[@davebowman9000]

A fine story to listen before watching Ratatouille

[@danillo.eu.rodrigues]

I've listen to it when you released on rumble in the community tab But goddamn, i loved it so much that i will listen to it a few more times Success Mr. Void (lmao), your work really inspires

[@godemperorofmankind5874]

a French mad Chef in the 40K universe eh?

[@urektus69]

Delightful meal. Thanks chef!

[@kayvaanmcsharrowkyn6901]

OMG MY BROTHER.....THIS TRANSMISSION HAD ME VISCERALLY "SICK TO MY CERAMITE"!!!🤢🤢🤮🤮 IT WAS GLORIOUS 🤘🏻🤣👍🏻

[@imtoogoodatpvp1252]

That music made me sad :c Apparently you can’t even cook Tyranids…

[@Faulkner108]

Quite exquisite! Great job as always Vox! Although longer time videos is more to my liking. Oh and btw, Abomination and Angel are one of my favorite stories of yours. And All the Gods are Dead is just an outright masterpiece!

[@jonathanlebon9705]

Longer videos please. It's nice to get anything from you. Feels like a treat! But it would be nice if these were longer cus I enjoy listening to them.

[@sillybiscuit2258]

Mmmmmm delicious 40K horror

[@akatamarian5269]

Well as always it was a pleasure of highest sort.

[@marsguy4079]

Ahhh, yes, the future French chef.

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Hey the grimdark can do with a little flair once in a while 😎

[@TheStrayCryptid]

The mundane life of the working class in the 41st Millennium. This is what happens when you listen to the Rogue Trader when he says he wants "A BIG FUCKIN VOID LOBSTER" for dinner. *Presents Tyranid with butter sauce*

[@DanSpadafora]

Interesting side of the 40k universe. Good job A.R. Yemruk

[@yemruk]

The other side. My favourite side. Thanks, babe.

[@coreystockdale6287]

Oui oui don not cook the tyranny

[@servit0r]

Thank you! Can't get enough of those

[@kinglerp5029]

First premiere I caught and I loved it!

[@AVoxintheVoid]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@davebowman9000]

I thought it was going to be a Slaneeshi cult obssesed with fine dinning but this was better!! Marvelous work!!

[@sotiriospeithis6659]

Hell yeah

[@Basaltmbl]

Another excellent work to digest! My compliments to the Vox!