A YouTuber's Descent Into Madness

[@celestialloves4264]

I have never, in my life, meant the words "rest in peace" more seriously. I hope his son grows up knowing how well loved he was by his father.

[@gau3131]

you and me both brother

[@judejenkins2771]

Same

[@QuandaleDingleOfficial-nx4qc]

​@ville__ that's fucked bot

[@jaden9711]

⁠@ville__yo wtf is wrong with you!?

[@iHaveTheDocuments]

So stunning and brave

[@dura_14]

"my son and only" is genuinely so sweet. I'm honestly tearing up.

[@raccoonsden1338]

I had almost identical symptoms to him and spent most of my adolescent years getting only a few hours of non-rem rest per night. I finally got approved to take anti-psychotics 4 years ago and felt actual sleep for the first time in my life, and it's very likely he needed heavy dosage anti-psychotics in combination with other medications. The damage not sleeping does to your body is severe, and I developed a variety of nerve issues and organ issues my specialists have struggled to explain or deal with beyond symptom management. If this man had gotten similar treatments he may likely have made a partial recovery and it's incredibly sad he never had the chance to find the help I had.

[@terry85mar]

If you're a man then you should be ashamed.

[@lukescott13]

​@raccoonsden1338 so sorry you had to go through that bro! I'm glad you seem to be doing better!

[@ezekiel3791]

He "introduced" him to the world. What a beautiful choice of words!

[@aunnaokkk]

literally

[@fiendishdevil808]

His friends knew him as Chay and he was a good friend. I have a few tattoos and shirts from him. We tried to bring him back to the US. I contacted Shrouded Hand about covering his story last year. I'm glad his story is getting out there. Edit: I don't think it was mentioned in the video, one thing that could've been a contributing factor is that the boss that gave him the expired antibiotics was for a job at a chemical (possibly pharmaceutical) plant. There were many Indonesian immigrants working there in unsafe conditions without respirators or proper PPE. He told me how the fumes gave him headaches while working. RIP Chay

[@Strype13]

If you don't mind me asking, what was it that got in the way of bringing him back to the U.S.? I really wish he would have gotten a chance to spend some time with his son before he passed away. Poor guy. Regardless, that's awesome that you have some of his tattoos to remember him by, as well as carry on his legacy! I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. He seemed like a very kind and genuine soul. May he rest in peace.

[@clauditafachini6642]

Wow! Finally this case doesn't seem so bizarre. Whatever happened to the petition you made? Wasn't there any way you or another friend, could go to the Philippines to see him? From.his videos it just seems like he is completely alone in the world with no one to even wonder about him. So sorry for your loss.😢

[@lyhuy7413]

This is the dumbest story I’ve ever heard because why accept someone else medication it could be a fake medication

[@ThePewdieslender]

I hope his son is okay

[@cosmicgregg]

My sons name is Chay. Just useless info sorry. This scares me a bit as I don't sleep well ever really. No energy, on disability. I wake up 2-3 times within a six or seven hour period. They have me on meds for sleep, but it only puts me out for couple hours then I'm tossing turning all night. It's sad he couldn't get back to his kid. It is a good thing you tried, wish you succeeded as I'm sure you do to. Rip Chay

[@TiredOfLiving631]

A man tortured by the worst hand of cards dealt in life. He fought, for his son. Which is the most selfless thing I think I've ever seen. Ricard, may you rest in peace, you earned a well deserved rest.

[@pool5863]

that last message for his son made me teary-eyed. hopefully palu's living a good life now and rest in paradise, ricard.

[@TheActualJeffery]

@ville__bait used to be believable

[@SnakeEater776]

You know im like 80% sure that this bot is supposed to take a name mentioned in the original comment, hope its the youtuber being watched and then say its better, so the fact its caused this instead is both disturbing and hilarious

[@alyjiah]

It really was heartbreaking

[@njunderground82]

Same. I started to tear up.

[@bpdslayer]

Me too...

[@nyew_thrizz]

i remember first hearing about this story, not many people realise the importance of sleep and how destroying insomnia can be, its sad

[@RisingRevengeance]

True I don't have insomnia or anything that bad but I have some annoying sleep issues. Without my meds I stay awake for about 3 days before crashing. It cost me my last job. I can't function well on day 2 so I cant even imagine how crap serious insomnia must be.

[@6Haunted-Days]

But this wasn’t simply insomnia tho……this was something much MUCH worse and intense and zero cure.

[@josuebrown6001]

Had this for months and I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy I almost ended it all myself almost did

[@6Haunted-Days]

@@RisingRevengeanceyea that’s the kinda of insomnia I have and I’ve had it since I was around 14….I’m 52 now…..it’s been a nightmare. When I was 24 I locked myself in a coffee shop bathroom and cops had to break it down….I was hallucinating and hearing things just awful…..hadn’t slept in 6 days! 🥺☹️

[@40b1n]

@@6Haunted-DaysThat sounds so horrible and scary, i hope you're doing so much better now! I wish you the best ma'am ❤🙏😊

[@NW255]

That is so fucking sad man. Dude was basically abandoned and he died a painful and lonely death. My heart goes out to those who suffer from this illness. I will never take a good nights sleep for granted again

[@erko948]

i just wonder who fed him?

[@MsSaskue360]

I also wonder to why the people who fed him never call any hospital to try to help him because at a certain point you got to give in and go to hospital to see if u can get any type of help, it a shame that he never decide to admit himself to a hospital to see if they can help him at all

[@fr0gurt]

Ricard was a targeted individual, gangstalkers were jolting him awake with directed energy weapons. His ramblings could possibly be attributed to voice to skull harassment. The immoral psychopath loser stalkers were likely jealous of his artistic ability and compassion for life. Its also likely why he never received any help.

[@petrolhead0387]

​@@fr0gurtget that BS out of here, these gangstalker claims are ones of deluded individuals. Get psychiatric help if you believe that crap.

[@JawadBhuiyan]

@@MsSaskue360 My assumption is he couldn't afford the treatment.

[@CrowYaeger]

"My Son and Only" is what got me Ricard seemed like a really great guy and an amazing father on top of it all. I hope is son realizes how much he was loved Rest in Peace, you beautiful soul

[@xandermin]

Most people don't realize how truly precious a good night's sleep is. I live with chronic insomnia caused by PTSD, so I know firsthand how debilitating sleeplessness can be. Yet, what I've experienced is nowhere near what Ricard went through.

[@ModernMedusa]

I was thinking the same when watching him try to sleep and jump awake. That happens to me often, including night terrors, but nothing compared to this.

[@mcbeav]

⁠​⁠Same here, it's a little terrifying to watch. I am able to get sleep, but very often I suffer from the issue where right as I'm about to fall asleep I jolt awake, and my adrenaline is dumping, and it often happens multiple times a night and can feel like literal torture. It actually feels like my body shuts off before my brain, and it causes my brain to go into fight or flight mode causing a panic.

[@itchiegames]

everybody realizes it. doctors will say it all the time, if you are physically or mentally sick one of the first things they say is to get sleep. if you tell co-workers or friends youre not doing well often the first question is are you sleeping ok. wtf are you talking about most people dont realize how important sleep is? i have insomnia too, but im not some perpetual victim who has to act like nobody else can see that not sleeping is a problem. everybody fucking knows that dude so stfu and quit trying to make yourself special. youre not.

[@iAmNothingness]

Most people do not have much time to sleep because life is so expensive they work 3 jobs. Besides that, IF you can sleep, early sleeping and early waking up is truly good for you.

[@WobblesandBean]

Same. I dunno if it's the ADHD or the PTSD that makes it so I can't sleep, but my god it's rough. I was out for a week and a half recently because I was essentially sleepless for an entire week, and I became so, so sick. Migraine that lasted for a week, unable to keep food down, etc.

[@Miepasie]

I think him being awake and aware enough to leave one beautiful message for his son is simultaneously one of the most heartbreaking and beautiful things. The fact that through all that pain and mental anguish he was going through, he was able to spend his last bit of energy on focussing on that message for his son.

[@JME1186]

Beautifully put. I have nothing to add because this captures my sentiments perfectly. Well said, be well.

[@JunniferLuzeytonz]

Exactly ​@@JME1186 like if it were me i would've been brain dead but the fact he through all of that and he still gave his son a great heartfelt goodbye truly shows how much of a saint and angel he was in this world To put it simply heaven gained one of its greatest saints

[@unfairlyoverlookeddavis3028]

I would love to know how the son feels seeing that 😢

[@HannahandCailinLoesch]

“Son and only” 💔 have heard this story a couple of times and never heard that detail, among many others in this video. Thank you, Nick!

[@Psyfi85]

Found it quite endearing especially being an only child. Poor guy..

[@morbidhime]

I wonder how his son is doing now :(

[@heather2837]

There are two diseases that absolutely terrify me. Rabies and fatal insomnia.

[@johncenaraw1]

so you have yet to see or hear about schizophrenia

[@AdamTheCannon]

Well mine are that + dementia

[@justinmeyers4292]

Locked in syndrome for me

[@Olivaro10]

Those and those flesheating bacteria that can kill or turn you into a quadruple aputee within a few hours. :(

[@Olivaro10]

@@johncenaraw1 The thing with schizophrenia is that when it's untreated you don't actually know that you are ill. With those others you are usually aware what fresh hell you will be going through.

[@silverflight01]

Whatever insomnia he suffered, it's disturbing he documented his own decline over time. I myself can't imagine spending every second awake. No peaceful rest. It makes me grateful for every moment I sleep peacefully

[@dish.washers]

Yeah for real. I ripped a bong an hour ago and im about to have me a great sleep for the night omg cant wait 😂

[@burtonupchurch1690]

Agree with your point but if he’d truly not been getting any sleep he’d have been dead in a month probably. Almost worse only getting 2 or 3 hours intermittent a day with the way he described that sleep. About as bad of a form of torture as you can come up with. Real painful torture experiences usually end in days or weeks. This went one for over a year.

[@silosis]

@@burtonupchurch1690 different if your mentally disturbed causing it, just another thought on it though

[@almadinjohnchristophers.9014]

I remember being awaked for likee more than 24 hours and it's already taking a chunk of sanity for me, we should be thankful we get to sleep, cause people like him literally can't

[@bellamckinnon8655]

If I recall correctly, it was fatal familial insomnia. It's horrible. Extremely rare genetic disorder. Mortality rate 100%. Horrible.

[@itsmeguys6321]

one of the saddest parts ON TOP of this story is that it is VERY possible his son Palu will find and see videos of his own father falling into madness, then death, some day. (idk how old his son would be now so possibly this has already happened)

[@bitocin]

​@ville__ gfy

[@CoyoteCrush]

His sons probably around 14 to 16 now

[@Kellyeeeee]

I believe he would be about 16 now. That poor child has probably seen those videos or at least some explanation of it similar to this video. I can't even imagine how painful that would be.

[@v1bri]

his son will be around 15 now, he is the same age as me i believe

[@cminorbeats]

​@ville__ Why are you so inhumane? Do you need help?

[@eleckson]

Heart-breaking, man....I hope Ricard gets to paint full galaxies in the literal universe, wherever he is now. That type of creativity doesn't just disappear.

[@ellena.8369]

This comment gave me the chills; beautifully written.

[@Anti_everything_and_everyone]

So sweet. x

[@emelianemone777]

amen, friend.

[@ChrisPoindexter98]

ditto

[@michaelmorrow607]

... He's dead, dude.

[@campbloodkilla]

The amount of spiritual, mental and physical stress this man experienced, with the psychological torment is just painful to imagine. A true relief he isn’t suffering anymore.

[@JetteIsHollow]

I am going through, i somehow through the sleeping issue but am dealing rge afermath

[@campbloodkilla]

@@JetteIsHollow prayers to you, wish you the best.

[@AutismoGamer]

​@@campbloodkillaPrayers do nothing. This is the real world. In this real world, medication is needed for insomniacs. THC is the best fix but I guess it's forbidden to you religious Americans.

[@campbloodkilla]

@@AutismoGamer I ain’t religious dumbass. Be a decent human being and practice some universal love with a prayer for this person who most certainly can struggle with hopelessness and depression. So be kind, and send him some love to cheer him up or at least try to keep him in good spirits because most people struggling with diseases, physical or mental need love and support. Pendejo. All love Monica

[@homeland1128]

​​​@@AutismoGamer y should we take advice from a ret4rded like u?😂

[@Silver-Sliver]

I had a UTI and was prescribed Ciprofloxacin. I reacted badly. I had a fever, chills, my chest felt 'weak', I felt so strange. I knew it was the med. Called my doc who was on vacation, but thankfully another doc in the office took me seriously, prescribed Bactrim instead, and added I was allergic to Cipro in my patient history chart so I'd never be prescribed that again. The new med was fine, and I felt much better 24 hours after stopping Cipro. Never ignore your reactions. I'm so sad for what this fellow human went through, and his family.

[@lohaye3260]

Isn't this med related to suicides too. I've seen a video about it.

[@no_peace]

They give stuff out without even telling you this could happen. I would never consent if I knew ahead of time the damage these things can do. They don't even list a bunch of the known adverse effects on the included info sheet, not that sick people are going to read all that, especially if they can't even see straight I've had a bunch of bad reactions so I know more of them than a lot of people, and in my social group I've had to like force people to call the doctor because they don't believe the symptoms they're having are KNOWN COMMON SIDE EFFECTS. The doc and pharmacist didn't tell them anything so they think they have a bug or something. My sister puked for 3 days withdrawing from cymbalta and when i found out that's why she was so sick i bout lost my mind. She thought she had a stomach bug. I've seen similar things happen so many times it's infuriating

[@tropezando]

Cipro is broad spectrum anyway, like firing a rocket launcher at an ant. It's better to have a urine culture done so they can prescribe an antibiotic that the bacteria is sensitive to. I get a lot of UTIs because I take immunosuppressants, and Cipro has caused permanent damage to the connective tissue in my hands, so I put it on my allergy list. Yeah, any SSRI/SNRI med needs to be tapered off or else there will be withdrawal symptoms. That is on the info sheet and you should encourage your friends and family to read those. They can also call their pharmacy if they have questions. There have been many instances where my doctors have missed obvious contraindications, but I'd read the drug info and called the pharmacist, and they took a look and advised me not to take the drug. It sucks to have to essentially do their work for them, but doctors aren't always looking for interactions or patient quirks.

[@malan873]

Took nitrofurantoin for UTI and developed serum sickness from it that caused me severe pain, hives, and literally arthritis in all of my joints. Would not wish it on my worst enemy.

[@GenXfrom75]

It was Keppra that set off my moms debilitating autoimmune disorder, Bullous Pemphigoid & jump started dementia 💔

[@townicus5908]

The thought of not being able to sleep is absolutely terrifying

[@Eirinen_E34]

Trust me, I have chronic sleep onset insomnia and it is terrifying. I'm on meds for life. My brain lost the ability to sleep

[@WobblesandBean]

It's rare that I'm able to sleep more than a couple of hours a night. It's not fun.

[@Devilhunter69]

Man there was a time i was waking till 2-3 and getting about 3 hours of sleep per day and it tore me down so hard, this can be done for a few days but after that your body starts to feel like withering you lost focus you lost physical ability and modt importantly the falling asleep while doing things I learnt my lesson and now i sleep at 9:30 and wake up at 5 sharp every single day , sleep does not seem important until you lose it

[@lilypad2714]

I take antidepressants that help my insomnia and my doctor wanted me to try another type of medication so I came off that pill and I think I was awake for nearly 3 whole days, and it was like torture- I was so tired I couldn’t sleep, if that makes any sense 😭 I was shaking constantly, couldn’t eat bc I felt sick, I was kind of manic at some points but at the end I just had a full on breakdown and caved and took my old tablets to help me sleep :’) 0/10 would not recommend 😭

[@TimSlee1]

Same, medication will get me to about 4-5 hours but even then it's disrupted sleep.@@WobblesandBean

[@BIastProcX]

The facebook post that was directed to his son made me tear up. It's so depressing to read a father's final goodbye to his son that he properly couldn't say farewell to

[@lyhuy7413]

This is the dumbest story I’ve ever heard because why accept someone else medication it could be a fake medication

[@Derek-x7k4n]

I wasn't able to say goodbye to my father either. I was in jail when he died, and he didn't just die naturally or in an accident, that I could have eventually come to terms with, but no, his life was taken from him by the woman he loved the most in the world. My step mother took life insurance out on him and then poisoned him, killing him. He was such an amazing father, he loved his boys so much and we loved him back, he was my best friend. Rest in peace Daddio I miss you so damn much. And didn't worry about her. She's getting hers trust me. She don't know it yet but she will.

[@Comrade_Nils]

23:24 Those words are among the most heartfelt, kind and well chosen I've heard in my entire life. So much respect for this man, managing to find the strength to write his son a message like this in the midst of his own absolute psychological turmoil.

[@Hellh0und_]

As someone with mild insomnia, this must've been a literal nightmare. He was so strong and kept fighting, may he rest in peace.

[@katharina...]

Have you tried nutmeg for your mild insomnia? I had an awful insomnia for 2 years after having a major surgery. I tried every natural sleep remedy and nothing worked. Sleeping pills gave me horrible side effects, so I only took them when I was completely unable to function. Then I learned about nutmeg. I took a quarter of a teaspoon right before going to bed and it worked like a charm with no side effects. After taking it every night for a few weeks, I stopped and realised I no longer had trouble sleeping. Nutmeg literally cured my insomnia.

[@Hellh0und_]

@@katharina... My mother told me to! And i did for a while until i still couldnt sleep - im currently on sleeping meds that barely give me any side effects. I even forgot to take them the other day, so i hope i can sleep normally again soon!

[@katharina...]

@@Hellh0und_ It's great that you found sleeping pills that are not giving you any side effects! 👍 Best wishes, I hope your sleep troubles are gone for good soon.

[@fvez_]

​@@Hellh0und_are you able to do anything to get yourself to sleep without medication? I'm both scared and fascinated that the body can be so tired yet the brain doesn't let you sleep.

[@Hellh0und_]

@@fvez_ without medication it's really really hard, most of the time it takes me up to 4 hours to just fall asleep - normal remedies haven't really helped me at all and melatonin wouldnt help me in the long run, but what i can definetly suggest is a) exercise, a LOT b) always go to bed and wake up at the same time, no matter if you can sleep or not and c) genuinely don't distract yourself with anything while you try to sleep (as someone who also has adhd i sometimes just make up scenarios in my head and try to fall asleep to them). What can also be a great factor is to find out what keeps you awake and having someone you trust sleep next to you - those are more complicated ways but they do help!

[@emilyerobt5959]

As a tech in a pharmacy, DO NOT GIVE OR SHARE YOUR MEDS WITH SOMEONE ELSE IT CAN BE VERY HARMFUL!!

[@sandrafaith]

I was hoping to find a comment like this... not that I blame either the boss or Ricard himself for what happened to Ricard, but this really does underscore how dangerous it can be to take medication prescribed to another person.

[@emilyerobt5959]

@@sandrafaith i don't blame anyone in this story. I heard as a tech a lot of times "i took my friend/family member/boyfriend/girlfriend's meds because they said it'll make me feel better but i dont feel good since" prescription meds are not something you can play with

[@Kevin-tw4uw]

Can you explain why? I don't understand how it'd a issue if he went to his doctor wouldn't they prescribe him the same thing?

[@HomemadeDeer]

@@Kevin-tw4uwhealthcare is really really expensive and just because people have the same symptoms Doesn’t exactly mean they aren’t gonna have a bad reaction to it It’s like giving a peanut butter sandwich to a starving person and another starving person with a peanut allergy Which the result for the person who has a peanut allergy will be very negative. (I’m very sorry if this sounds rude)

[@emilyerobt5959]

@@Kevin-tw4uw don't really understand your question. If you're talking about the story in the video, he didn't go to see a doctor. Also, don't take antibiotics if you don't need it, they can be very harmful. If it's about the ones who take other's meds, it's the same thing. Don't "auto diagnose" yourself or others. Even if it works for others, doesn't mean it will work for you. There are meds that are for the same disease/problem (ex : Atorvastatin and rosuvastatin work the same) but each body will react differently so the doctor has to adjust to an alternative

[@jahmokaeperson4580]

This is the shit that just makes me so angry. Why can such nice and unique people die in the most horrific and tragic ways yet there are so many monsters out there that deserve a fate just as if not worse than this just walking around. At least he's finally getting rest.

[@Strype13]

Yeah. It really aggravates me that people create "GoFundMe's" to get people to donate to some aimless and imbecilic scheme they conceived on a whim, yet somehow manage to entice people to donate thousands of dollars to their pointless project that never even materializes... meanwhile, people like this poor fella set up a "GoFundMe" in a genuine attempt to save their own life and end up getting nothing out of it. It's a cruel world we live in.

[@Sevilou]

as you say, stuff like this can make anyone furious, but from my belief, 48 universal laws *please keep reading if you are an open minded person, tho I will never judge you for being a skeptic as I was skeptical calling it voodoo shit in the past, thanks* if one's soul doesn't free itself from karmic cycle having the constant mindset of "i did a bad thing, im gonna pay the price sooner or later", as belief it transcends to reincarnate over and over again on human consciousness, while acceptance that yeah you can be like this, you don't have to beat yourself over it and hold on to it. thoughts are the basic building block of our reality, you might not choose to believe it but it's a well documented fact if someone decides to study about it and with the age of Aquarius happening in our life time now, we will see a major shift in global consciousness to be more observant of our own inner selves.

[@cecemepls0]

this is the shit that keeps me from having faith in a LOVING higher power…..truly

[@glasperle77]

If you wish someone else a horrible death it makes you a disgusting person yourself. because what you declare as monster is subjective and others might think in another way.

[@ButWhatIfItIs]

​​@@glasperle77Fine, I'm a monster too and proud to be one. I don't harm the harmless. This line you just spewed out is the kind of thing said by those with very little life experience or those who've had a nerve struck... In MY experience.

[@hahajones]

I suffer from insomnia, frequently have gone 7-10 days without sleep, resulting in pain, disorientation, mild psychosis and hallucinations, but always end up getting enough sleep, a few hours usually every 3 days, to keep me from dilapidating into this terribly sad wretch. So few people seem truly sincere and decent, and from all accounts, this man seemed to be so. The world is not better off without the likes of Ricard. May his son find the peace and happiness in life his father fought so desperately for.

[@notsocreativejaycee8816]

I hope you’re doing okay and are able to find a way to get better sleep ❤️‍🩹

[@chibicthulhu4382]

My dad passed in January and Ricard’s message to his son made me cry.

[@lsuzicosbw644]

RIP to your father. ❤

[@ramseydoon8277]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember that he is always with you and that his love for you will never fade. 🫂🤝🫶💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

[@aussietrisha]

My mother passed in January as well, on my birthday actually. You are in my thoughts 🙏

[@gewisserjemand]

R.I.P. to all of your parents, you have my deepest condolences because my mother also died in January completely unpredictable

[@axg5929]

my grandmother passed in january. sending love to everyone one of you ❤

[@pixelapocrypha]

Whether he actually had it or not, fatal insomnia is so scary. The only comfort really is how incredibly rare it is.

[@KarlSnarks]

I've had a few instances where I'd been awake for more than 48 hours. The idea that it could go on for weeks or months before dying a slow, painful and undignified death, gives me shivers just thinking about it.

[@suisenshirasaki8298]

And to think Meth abusers actively consume the drug that makes it impossible for them to sleep for 3-5 days at a time. After years of the meth chipping away at their cognition they all have that haunted, empty gaze. The 100 yard stare. The physical decline notwithstanding, their mind is a tattered shell of what it was. The mind is an excellent slave but an unforgiving master.

[@marcelllaczko9019]

Joke or not thats fucked up and get help ​@ville__

[@BuddyLee23]

There are a number of neurological declines ending in death which are more common, which take more time, and may be more unpleasant in the end. Just check out your odds of getting dementia or Alzheimer’s should you live long enough.

[@however02]

I suffer for insomnia because of the trauma I’ve experienced. I take medication for 2 years and I don’t sleep if I don’t take it. It’s a different kind of medication that the one in the video but it works so it’s really weird that none of the doctors wouldn’t help him

[@Wiitchcat]

I feel so bad for his son. I couldn’t imagine the son losing his father. He just wanted to get better to go back with his son and live a normal life

[@vibe_oli]

I know it’s so heartbreaking. His message to not hurt himself and others made me tear up.

[@Fishing4Trash]

I am crying, the love for this man’s son is so precious and beautiful. I hope his son knows how much his father loved him. ❤

[@alyssa5311]

This one was genuinely heartbreaking. He seemed like a really nice guy who loved his son more than anything.

[@Treppy_Gecky]

It's honestly disheartening how little research is done into sleep disorders. I have the opposite problem--I have idiopathic hypersomnia. But taking meds and still feeling exhausted all the time is so rough on your mental state. Rip Ricard, wish this world had been able to help you more.

[@youngsatellites]

I have this too. Growing up I would fake being sick to stay home from school so I could sleep. In class I was always falling asleep. My mom has narcolepsy and so I got a sleep study done and they said unofficially i'm narcoleptic but on paper it's IH because I couldn't fall asleep during the nap portions the next day (it was the conditions, I was exhausted and felt derealized from my surroundings from sleep delirium but I have to have a fan running full blast and it was just dead silent so I would just liee there in a half awake/half asleep state). I hallucinate spiders and bugs crawling over my bed both when i'm waking and falling asleep as symptom. They're allowing IH to take a form of xyrem called xywav now so you should ask about it. I couldn't take the modafinil they prescribed because it clashes with my anxiety disorder and causes me to dissociate. Really feels like it's caused significant cognitive decline since i went so long without treatment or deep, restorative sleep. Luckily they're now doing home sleep studies so i may get re-evaluated so i can be properly diagnosed and put on xyrem. my heart goes out to you

[@shrimpelton]

i have a similar sleep disorder, and something that helped me a TON was taking a medication called "Jornay PM" and i think its definitely worth looking into if thats an option for you and something that you might be willing to give a shot! its meant to be used to treat ADHD (i have ADHD so that wasnt a problem for me,) but when i had been discussing with my doctor my sleep disorder he recommended that i try it out regardless and it has made a major difference for me, it really saved and changed my life for the better. it didnt fix everything of course, but it helps significantly. i wish the best for you and everyone else in this comment thread

[@darkclaws1234567891]

I have really bad insomnia since a child meds doesn't help me tho I found pot as a teen and it helped me sleep

[@prettyevil6662000]

Do you happen to have non-24 or another circadian rhythm abnormality? I was initially diagnosed with IH but after I was able to follow my own sleep-wake cycle during covid and working from home, I was re-diagnosed with non-24. My body basically thinks the day is about 28 hours long. (Every night I fall asleep about 4 hours later than the night before.) No actual solution to this other than to not have to keep to a 24 hour schedule, which society doesn't generally allow. Non-24 is incredibly understudied, especially in people who aren't blind. I kinda feel like a lot of IH sufferers might be non-24 or similar and not know it because they aren't given a chance to sleep on their own schedule.

[@rs-mt6kl]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I've been thinking about talking to my doctor about it at my next appt. I don't know why else I would be sleeping 12+hrs, napping 5 hours later, and then going to bed for the night in another 5 hours. Everything comes back normal. But I just don't think it is to be as tired as I am, all the gddam time. Did they do a sleep study for you to be diagnosed?

[@HotStrange]

Not having to wait 1-2 months for another Nick Crowley video feels illegal. Thank you KZbin gods.

[@KDiamond666]

Amen 🙏 ❤

[@culturebreath369]

Right!? One of the few KZbinrs I still respect. Lol. ❤

[@nightcorebeatzx8652]

For real 🤣

[@hamarama1229]

so true

[@thinksetsoup5790]

Don’t thank youtube thank Nick Crowley for taking the time to do that.

[@FAITHYTHEDAWG]

This actually made me cry. I hope his son is proud of his dad for fighting. The fact the only way he was able to get rest by dying is so sad. I hope that one day ricard is able to hold his son. :(

[@TheCanon66]

I took Ciprofloxacin in 2020. Developed painful insomnia that feels like a terrifying jolt that shocks you awake as soon as you start losing consciousness. I got akathisia, agitation, neuropathy, horrible anxiety, brain fog, depression... The list goes on. I am nearing 4 years now and I'm still not fully better. And if I ever have to take any other antibiotics that used to be fine for me, I get thrown back into hell for 4-8 months. Haven't worked in all that time. I live with my grandparents at age 34. My girlfriend left me. My life is more or less over. Stay away from fluoroquinolones! You may be fine taking them a couple of times, but the damage accumulates. Eventually you won't be ok.

[@Kevin-tw4uw]

How come ? Is it just some form of allergic reaction?

[@TheCanon66]

@@Kevin-tw4uw Not really. I mean, nobody fully knows what goes wrong. But it involves mitochondrial damage, nervous system damage, brain inflammation... Who knows what else.

[@majestic9434]

i hope the best for you

[@buddyscaglini]

Wishin you the best friend

[@Arnold1nspiration]

Your life isn’t over bro. You have your grandparents still. That’s lucky. Focus on them. A girl is nothing. Good luck and continue.

[@SouthernSummoners]

that is horrible, there are so many deadbeat men around the world who won't take care of their children. This guy seemed like such a good father, dedicated to his child, or his "son and only" , I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy..

[@Xakaion]

It sucks how life is harshest to the kindest souls.

[@Onioncup]

The nicer you are, the more life hates you. Some of the shittiest people live for so long, but nice people seem to die faster. I have no idea why. (Source, am nurse)

[@danialyousaf6456]

Yeah, it's almost like nature demands cruelty from everything, and any kindness is seen as weakness and punished. ​@@Onioncup

[@feukptiper-r7l]

@@Onioncupeveryone dies, there ain't no magical thing such as that

[@RedPhil87]

Maybe he should've laid off the benzos 🤷🏻‍♂️ he'd still be alive. There's no mystery illness. He died from benzodiazapine withdrawal. Clearly.

[@rsqueenue]

Absolutely heartbreaking. I'm Laotian and the first thing I thought of was the outbreak of SUNDS (Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome) in Hmong-Laotian Americans in the 1980s. This is linked to Brugada syndrome, a rare condition which mostly affects Southeast Asian men, and causes heart palpitations and seizures when sleeping. It can also be triggered by taking certain drugs, and has a strong correlation with schizophrenia. I think there could be a link here, with the heart issues and seizures causing (or worsening) his insomnia which later caused his other symptoms. There's also a trauma element to this disease, and the trauma of losing his mother could have triggered the condition as well. Ricard's case absolutely should be studied more and his life should be honored. Thank you for making this video.

[@colinhollenbeck5682]

Interesting, do you happen to know more about it?

[@Otherplacewhat]

Never heard of this, thanks for sharing

[@Houndoomgirl77]

​@ville__ you're a nothing

[@WhiteTulip2002]

I remember seeing in a few videos that there was an outbreak of it among male refugees of the Vietnam War, in Los Angeles in the late 70s. The news coverage of it partially inspired Wes Craven to make A Nightmare on Elm Street.

[@lyhuy7413]

This is the dumbest story I’ve ever heard because why accept someone else medication it could be a fake medication

[@beeticket]

I feel like the world really let Ricard down. As someone who never even knew he existed until now, I feel culpable in that failure as well. Thank you Ricard for your documentation of this horrible disease. I hope it one day helps others more than we were able to help you. Rest in peace angel. I'm so sorry.

[@alleykitten214]

What a beautiful man. That message he left for his son is just beyond words… i hope he and his son’s spirits reunite in the afterlife

[@nitcat23332]

this makes my heart hurt. he seems like such an intelligent genuine man and he didn’t deserve this torture

[@MW222-s8u]

Lack of sleep can cause the brain to go haywire for some. It's really sad and terrifying.

[@madsfiedler3884]

for Everyone. lack of sleep has varying symptoms and presentation at small levels, but at long intervals like this it can and will kill anyone.

[@bdarecords_]

@@madsfiedler3884 A quick research (literally seconds) shows that it is extremely unlikely that he succumbed to fatal insomnia. This was clearly a case of psychosis. But that wouldn't make for a great story, who cares about truth nowadays?

[@packerman7410]

@@bdarecords_people hate the truth so much in some places you are killed for speaking it

[@Inzpectre]

​@@bdarecords_Remember, its just an internet comment. I get that youre fed up though, but it'll be alright man, take a break.

[@xandermin]

@@bdarecords_severe insomnia can trigger psychosis.

[@leoCook-f2f]

Man ever since i saw this man, i genuinely loved him, he seemed so kind and loving he doesn't deserve lonelyness and everything he went threw.

[@ezra8129]

I hope that wherever Palu is now, he's safe, he's happy, he's thriving, and he knows that his dad loved him with all his heart and was desperately trying to return to him.

[@showerman7363]

I know him in real life he is doing fine right now as a fresh men then highschool. One of my best friends and talks about his dad alot

[@wishb0ne]

@@showerman7363really nice to hear that.. thanks for sharing

[@fartii]

@@showerman7363 That's a relief.

[@bigtopshotta]

@@showerman7363cap💀💀

[@babydollie121]

@@fartiihe’s lying..

[@cecemepls0]

I heard of a lady from South Korea who SWORE she never slept more than 4 minutes for YEARS. She was absolutely convinced. She reached out to a TV show that documents strange situations and after speaking to her, they set up a secret camera and found out she was actually sleeping for 4-5 hours. She had no recollection and still felt as though she had NEVER slept. Even after seeing the video proof, she refused to believe that she was asleep in the video. After a long talk, the crew finally got her to see a doctor and it was determined her symptoms were psychosomatic. The stress of not sleeping was actually stopping her from getting REM sleep, which is why she always felt horrible. Obviously, I don’t know if this is the case with Ricard, but considering how long he survived, he must have been sleeping at least SLIGHTLY more than he imagined. This still doesn’t really explain why he died and had other severe symptoms that were most certainly not in his head. I think it’s possible that his inability to walk, and his obvious mental decline could certainly be due to a fear of sleep. It’s possible that once he started to feel that he wasn’t sleeping, his mind saw that as reality and physically wouldn’t let him sleep. This case is so tragic and it breaks my heart. Ricard was obviously a very loving, kindhearted man who simply wanted the best for his son. I really wish doctors would try to study his videos to try and find SOME answers if at all possible. Rest in Peace, Ricard ❤ You’re finally resting well. Your son will grow up as kind and loving as you…I’m sure of it. ❤

[@buoyantvoid1385]

​@@GamingLiteratureClubI don't think so.

[@hairscrunchy]

The fact that this started right after he visited to say goodbye to his dying mom makes me think it’s fairly likely it’s psychosomatic. Doesn’t mean it’s not real to the patient, but it has no neurological cause.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

I had PTSD and didn't sleep for a whole year. Not a wink of sleep because I had a racing heartbeat because of the flight/fight response. I started losing weight in my face and started hallucinating. I did see a psychiatrist after trying to commit suicide because of the rape. I was given sleeping tablets to fall asleep until the PTSD went away with cognitive therapy.

[@morbidgull8922]

@@melisentiapheiffer3034the thing is you can’t physically not sleep for a year, I’m sure you were sleeping horribly but you as well were most likely sleeping a few hours at a time.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

@morbidgull8922 Armchair psychiatrist. I had PSTD. Do you understand what that means? I didn't sleep at all! My racing heartbeat wouldn't allow me. While everyone was asleep, I was wide awake. I was watching TV until the morning for an entire year...😂 Ask a mental health professional.

[@OnionManSteve]

I can not fathom a world where you have to take random pills that somebody gave you for a UTI, because going to the doctor would bankrupt you. It's heartbreaking and my heart goes out to people in places like the US who struggle like this

[@lonelyliteraturelover712]

Our medical system is, pardon my language, fucked from the ground up. Truly disgusting

[@hatake1990]

It's awful, and they are actively attempting (and in some states, succeeding), to make it worse. 😢

[@MYNAMEISJOHNMUSTARD]

I appreciate your compassion, most people like to make fun of the people who have awful healthcare like it’s their fault

[@sadpotato3386]

I have no health insurance atm. I recently went for a uti. The doctor visit was 125$, the uti medication was 8-9$. Thankfully not bankrupting, but definitely enough to be too much for some us residents.

[@daves2552]

There are MANY places in each town in the US o go for free healthcare. Most folks just are not aware of them. Even most major hospitals have an free minor med clinic several times a week. They get HUGE tax benefits and federal money for these. Downside is they don’t advertise for this. You have to know to ask for it.

[@suki_thecat]

I’m acc crying rn. especially with the fact that nobody donated, i feel so bad . May he rest in peace

[@willo7734]

I remember hearing about this story. I really have to say I like your treatment of this case much better than others I’ve seen. You spent a lot of time on the man, his life, art and what made him happy not just what happened to him.

[@itchiegames]

i heard about it at the same time as you, when i watched the video. but i dont need to pretend i already knew about it to impress a bunch of strangers who dont care. thats us, we're the strangers who dont care about you that you lie to impress. why? fragile ego? compulsive liar? desperate for approval from people who dont like you?

[@DannyD-lr5yg]

@@itchiegamesLmao what? Why are you so hostile?? I already knew about this story prior to this video, too. Many people did. It’s ok that you hadn’t heard this story, but why would you automatically assume @willo7734 is lying about being previously aware of this man just because YOU were not? Self-obsessed as heck, wow..

[@El1society]

@@itchiegamesgo to therapy

[@SamuelGalvan_]

@@itchiegamesDude this isn’t even the first horror KZbinr to cover this. There’s a video by scare theater from a few years ago

[@catattack7639]

​@@itchiegames...what is wrong with you? Way too aggressive for no reason. You made so many assumptions so quickly for no good reason. Of course there's other videos about it, there almost always is

[@Oweblow]

This is just upsetting, my guy didn’t do anything to deserve the grief and severe insomnia.

[@archlich4489]

Agreed. ☹

[@sandrohernandez4401]

Those pills that his boss gave him what probably made his insomnia worse and other things. People that also used cipro had similar effects to what ricard had.

[@agmcroom2374]

Most good people don’t

[@kingvortex-m1n]

Misfortune doesn't pick and choose who to target

[@catdownthestreet]

​@@kingvortex-m1n ...was this supposed to be comforting or?

[@tinamariegallox]

ugh not even 60 secs in and you show this mans face and my heart sank. i know this mans story and it has ALWAYS stuck with me. his story has effected me for many years. absolutely has got to be one of the most awful ways to go. i cant even imagine what this poor man felt.

[@thelunchlady8276]

@ville__ You got nothing else? Copy and pasting the same nonsense BS. Let me guess, your parents won't show you attention? Or maybe your Uncle Roy shows you too much?

[@funrls]

@ville__looks like someone’s mommy and daddy didn’t give them enough attention growing up

[@foofington5431]

@ville__ Genuinely fuck off, It should have been you.

[@NervousLin]

The loud head bangs, jolts awake, sharp pain, extreme dizziness (Couldn’t walk in a straight line unaided) and insomnia described perfectly what I used to have back in 2021 but it only lasted just over a week. I’d get a couple of hours and wake up drenched in sweat, sometimes sleep paralysis sometimes noises that weren’t there. It just stopped, I have absolutely no clue maybe because I stopped taking antidepressants? but my heart goes out to Ricard and his family. Most scariest thing I’ve ever experienced and that last message to his son utterly shattered me man. RIP I’m so thankful to sleep.

[@Simplecareproducts]

A similar level of insomnia happened to me, made a few videos about it. I am grateful I have made this far. I was told by the head of a sleep clinic that there is no point in doing any tests because "what do you want us to tell you? You aren't sleeping? You already know that". Literally the response I got at a consultation. The lack of real research or support is astonishing.

[@Foxiz]

I'm so sorry that doctors treat you like that, I have been treated like that all too many times. Sometimes I have even began to believe them when they say that nothing "really is wrong - it's all in [my] head". Hope that something happens that will make your living into a Life again.

[@fourtyseven47572]

Did you overcome it? If so what did you do?

[@reikowallach2465]

A friend of mine went to the doctor with insomnia, and he weirdly didn't feel the sensation of being tired, but he could feel his memory and motor functions deteriorating. When he told the doctor that he doesn't feel tired and doesn't sleep they said "But that's great! I wish had that, off you go".

[@Simplecareproducts]

@reikowallach2465 I had a similar experience with that too! 🤦‍♀️

[@Delta-l87]

It’s not that people haven’t researched it but more that it’s not really something you can research

[@darkheartdahlia5218]

It seems like he got in a sleep deprived psychosis and the meds he was taking had a paradoxical effect keeping him awake. Sad that he was genuinely asking for help and his cries went unanswered

[@vaszgul736]

I had a terrifying two weeks of no sleep as an initial response to taking cymbalta. I remember how agonizing it was laying in bed with my head racing for 12 straight hours and not ever fully losing consciousness. I remember losing the ability to remember even the most basic things, stumbling and laughing in confusion at everything. Eventually I was able to sleep again. Though now, I remember every detail of every dream I have at night. It's like my brain finally adapted to have REM sleep while still partially awake. I'm still disoriented now and again because I live so many lives in my dreams that I have difficulty reminding myself none of it was real and trying to forget about it. I'll feel attachment to people in my dreams that I'll never see again because they don't exist. It's like living a new life every time I go to sleep. Even if his insomnia wasn't fatal familial insomnia, any kind of prolonged insomnia is painful. I do wish that things had gotten better for him.

[@WayneJohnson-rh7mf]

They don’t exist because you say they don’t?

[@moniqueengleman873]

"A new life that I could not remember" I have the exact same thing. My friends call me Sybil, but it is not funny. I mean it is funny, but inside I am confused as to if that really happened or was it a dream. I know I disassociate due to trauma. But this is much much different. Time is a flat circle

[@kingrobotnik6950]

@@WayneJohnson-rh7mfoh stop that you hippy. The people in our dreams aren’t real because the situations we are in within our dreams aren’t real. Just because you may recognize people in your dreams doesn’t mean they are the same

[@kingrobotnik6950]

@@moniqueengleman873don’t think about it too much dear. Just go along with the world you’re in. Trust me, you might not understand, but God does. Put your faith in him and continue through life. Not every question needs an answer. God bless 😁

[@moniqueengleman873]

@@kingrobotnik6950 Thank you. 🙏

[@PerkolatorTheTerminator]

Ohhhhh man, that last post had me go from zero to SOBBING in SECONDS. As a former kid who lost his dad suddenly without closure, I truly hope that his son gets to read that beautiful message.

[@strawberrysorbettt]

Seeing other mystery from another country, in another language is already chilling. But watching a mystery and tragedy in your language is another version of chilling. He sounds like a very polite person. Rest in peace Ricard

[@streammytreasure]

my goodness.. I know how it feels as well. i am an Indonesian and know nothing after I watched this whole video. rip ricard he'll be missed by us dearly.

[@rakatanayaa]

it is bruh...

[@strawberrysorbettt]

@@streammytreasure same here, I was shocked when I find out he went to Indonesia. Ricard seems like a nice guy, only if he could get better help for his problems. At least he's able to rest now.

[@spacecowboy5291]

I have watched so many disturbing documentaries and for some reason this 26 minute video game me the most anxiety I've ever experienced watching something online. I cannot even imagine not ONLY not being able to sleep but also seemingly not getting anyone to help. Truly heartbreaking.

[@bodhiswayze1892]

I’ve suffered from insomnia for most of my life and the absolute madness that I’ve been through after just a few days of being awake is terrifying. I’ve been “stalked” by shadow people who lurk in my peripheral vision, heard voices, had conversations with nobody etc. I was convinced that I had experienced a parallel universe. It’s pure hell…

[@glasperle77]

oddly tho when i remembered the days i was without sleep i have to admit to me it felt like on one hand you are not yourself and you are "out of this world". but on the other hand I have the feeling that your senses work way better. your brain just can't process. I remember that the tiniest noise outside appeared much clearer, louder and I was more aware of them. Often I just could not thinka bout them because my brain was too mushy. But I also had it while being in bad depression. it's a thing I really liked tbh. If you have a clear mind you will not notice many things around you because it's just "normal"

[@lorenzocarrari8636]

What are the most breaking point you had?I may be suffer that too Especially in the night..

[@WayneJohnson-rh7mf]

You did experience a parallel universe . It’s hidden if you’re well rested or sober

[@PaigeLovelace]

I am 57 years old and I’ve had insomnia since I was 23 and the longest I had ever been without sleep is seven days and that’s when you start hallucinating things and just seeing things that aren’t there insomnia sucks the only way after seven days that they could fix me to sleep, one bit is to sedate me

[@TAGMZs63]

I'm a retired nurse and 12 hour double shift work screwed up my sleep schedule for years. Not being able to sleep is awful. When I retired it stopped. Meditation/hypnosis for sleep helped. Now I sleep too much

[@EmiFromMars]

This one hurt. Hope his family keep his memory and art alive for his son and make sure he knows how much his dad adored him

[@m1sfit414]

This is such a heartbreaking and sad story, even though all the pain and suffering he went through he still only fought for his son, a true father

[@weep5624]

@ville__no one is subbing to u lil bro

[@Teryaki11]

@ville__🤡

[@CalaveraCandy]

Absolutely heart breaking. While I'm sorry to hear of his passing, I'm glad he's finally able to rest in peace.

[@Aroilt]

This video made me cry. He looked like such a caring father and talented drawer. May Ricard Siagian rest in peace.

[@poopdick69]

Rip forever❤

[@todumnoob4216]

When I first started the video I thought it was going to be another story about some guy going crazy and hurting people, but I never imagined how sad this video would be and I hope his son is ok. R.I.P Ricard Sagian

[@HailHydreigon]

The love for his son was beautiful… R.I.P. Ricard. 😢

[@Poisontoon]

I'm so happy your channel is allowing so many helpless voices to be heard

[@Wagecuck9000]

​@ville__time to get a job

[@Jamez1093]

Yawn, your comments are genuinely boring, how original. @ville__

[@2-_-V-_-.2]

​@ville__ Disgusting

[@fifipato7163]

@ville__L rage bait 😂😂😂😂

[@chloiephillips1905]

@ville__you’re a child aren’t you?

[@MountainCry]

I just learned of this man and what happened to him a few days ago. Thank you for showing us his life and painting a more complete portrait of him as a person, and not just his medical issues. RIP Ricard.

[@itchiegames]

you learned of him when you watched this video. now you want to act like you heard of him already. i have no clue why. literally nobody here cares about you at all.

[@satinsparx]

@@itchiegamesholy shit bro what is your problem

[@no_peace]

​@@satinsparxit's weird how some people lash out when they have personal problems

[@satinsparx]

@@no_peace so weird and unprovoked

[@Nostalgic_1]

​@satinsparx Agreed. Dude has been trying to pick unprovoked fights with multiple people in this comments section. 🤷🏼‍♀️ He's acting like a little "b" imo.

[@vinnie657]

the worst things happen to such good people. Ricard seemed like a genuine guy that loved his craft, his son, and had a deep appreciation for life. I hope wherever he is, he’s at peace🕊️

[@emopupradio]

Fuck! I have severe insomnia, and have gone multiple days without sleeping before. It’s hell on earth. It’s rage-inducing, terrorizing. I can’t imagine he felt and sadly, his passing is finally his chance to sleep. That poor man. Rest in peace

[@mr.sinner33]

I am sorry How is your condition now ?

[@emopupradio]

@@mr.sinner33 I am still struggling but actively working on finding the right regimen for me. Thank you for asking 🩷

[@ErnolDawnbringer]

what sucks is that he reached out for help surrounded by a whole world of people and nothing happened. Remember, hell is other people.

[@RockLibertyWarrior]

Most people didn't know, and his youtube channel and social sites weren't full of people watching or interacting with his content. So don't blame "a whole world of people" for insensitivity when none of us even knew what was going on. It was after the fact when other people started covering this story that we found out. Be honest, I bet you had no idea who this guy was before you watched a video on him. Admit it, by your standards your just as a culpable.

[@cokemuscles1729]

What an awful outlook on life u have. Most people seeing youtube video of a middle-aged man talking nonsense with little to no views would scroll away without giving it too much thought. Even those that did watch his videos would've been influenced by the bystander effect, believing that somebody else on the internet will help him since they couldn't. I bet you'd do the same if you didn't hear about his story from here. It's tragic that he never got the help he deserved, but blaming the entire world for a tragic event is beyond pathetic.

[@micadean1600]

I agree with you & so do most honest people. He was failed by society that didn’t care because he wasn’t famous or wealthy. ❤ So sad.

[@elijimenez7710]

Hell is other people. Wow. Never heard this. I believe you are right. Though yes it is sad.

[@lordbored2706]

​@@cokemuscles1729found the Zionist

[@MW222-s8u]

I am glad I found this channel randomly and haven't quit watching since.

[@HotStrange]

Welcome to the best channel on KZbin 🤙

[@itchiegames]

actually nobody cares. at all.

[@qook1543]

Have fun 👍🏽 because once you run out of videos, the withdrawal sets in

[@soraskingdom2388]

Im gonna put you on to something @nexpo youll thank me later

[@tokiwartuthe]

One of the best! Him and Nexpo, and cadaber are really good channels

[@SpiritzPlanet]

Occasionally, my interest in the dark and morbid leads me to a video that makes me cry. This was one of them. The human body is so intensely cruel. I truly hope there is a heaven--this man deserves to rest there.

[@AboveWater]

So sad. He seemed like a genuinely good dude and he didn't deserve this. Im glad you have shown his story here. Even if not many saw his videos when he was alive. We all at the very least can remember him now.

[@clipsedrag13]

As a former drug addict, I suffered from restless legs induced insomnia. I can definitively say it is the most horrifying thing to suffer through. Easily the worst symptom and condition I’ve ever dealt with. I would finally doze off after taking a hot bath and my brain would jolt back awake. It felt like “I’m finally asleep!” And bam I would be wide awake heart racing and wanting to die. I had hallucinations both audio and visual.. having full conversations with people who weren’t there and fading in and out of consciousness. I cannot explain how bad this condition is and I feel so bad for him.

[@omega-death]

Yea, that's what I see as well. To me, he simply had RLS, which can become permanent for a small amount of opiod/benzo abusers. I wonder if him simply not telling the doctors he went to the truth about his benzo drug abuse and that led to his horrible death.

[@terryrichmond4723]

It’s stuff that helps, kratom eases it somewhat depending on how much you take and magnesium. These doctors don’t want to help us, we’re on our own brother. Hope all is well 🙏🏾

[@omega-death]

@terryrichmond4723 ain't that the truth. It's like the doctors had no problem giving us sctipt after script, but it wasn't until the DEA pill mill crack down in the early to mid 20-teens that doctors had to worry about the addiction spree they help get going could hurt them that all of a sudden "I don't give out pain meds or help with getting off them, so find someone else to help ya." I'm not saying us addicts are innocent. I am saying that the doctors who made crazy amounts of money off of us back then should be a little more willing to help us get off them. I get it, though. It's all relative, so to speak. I will say I'm very glad I was able to get clean, but that was because I found someone who loved me for me when I was getting clean. She made it worth doing for myself and her. Not all of us get that, though. So, yea. At the end of it, getting clean is possible because addicts have so much more information available to them, like what you spoke of, so that's a good thing. As long as people like you are willing to give good advice, then more people will get clean. ✌️

[@terryrichmond4723]

@@omega-death Amen Brother 🙏🏾

[@stifton1]

Restless leg syndrome is bruuuuutal I'm sorry you went through that

[@baconshreds1772]

This hits scarily close to home. I know what it's like to be so exhausted that you'd rather die and it's a mentally damaging experience. I suppose no matter what, there's always someone who's had it worse than you.

[@peztopher7297]

This is heart-wrenching. It's amazing to me that despite being so miserable, he is relatively calm, and he presses on, hoping for relief or at least the chance to see his son.

[@ryanhawksley1779]

My best friend since childhood has severe insomnia and the stories he tells me about what it does to his mental health is so heartbreaking. "Everyone else is asleep, and so am I yet im awake within my subconscious so its like living in my nightmares" 😢

[@bdarecords_]

A quick research (literally seconds) shows that it is extremely unlikely that he succumbed to fatal insomnia. This was clearly a case of psychosis. But that wouldn't make for a great story, who cares about truth nowadays?

[@Deton8e]

⁠@@bdarecords_why are you commenting this here? On someone else’s story, also insomnia can cause psychosis

[@nevadatan7323]

So he just died from psychosis? Uhhh

[@dr3dg352]

@@bdarecords_ Bot or spam?

[@SimplyGSoda]

@@bdarecords_copy pasta alert‼️

[@kaylaking6458]

This poor, poor man. I can't imagine what he went through. The feeling of helplessness and sorrow he must have felt when he realized what was happening. I hope he found peace in whatever afterlife he believed in. And may no one else have to go through what he did.

[@thevirgotay]

The fact that nobody donated is so sad. I wish I would’ve seen his gofundme, I would’ve definitely donated. I know I’m just one person and it might not have done a lot but still. This is so sad

[@FringeSpectre]

Wow talking about how good of a person you supposedly are, unprompted, sure isn't cringe inducing. Nope.

[@cactusplantreal]

@@FringeSpectreyou’re being so hateful for no reason. learn how to empathize with others before opening your fat mouth.

[@jkcaray4747]

@@FringeSpectrehow miserable do you have to be to think that the comment was done for personal gain 😊 seems like projection to me

[@FringeSpectre]

@@jkcaray4747 what am I projecting? Explain. I don't think you know what projecting means.

[@jkcaray4747]

@@FringeSpectre you care sooo much about how good of a person other ppl "want to seem" that it almost seems like ur projecting ur own thoughts.. not everyone twists kind comments like that unless they themselves thought of the situation like that 💀💀 and it's not that hard to comprehend too lol use your brain 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@petersavage9456]

such a massively talented man - He showed more dignity than most of us would in a similar situation. I feel sure he is happy now and that he and his soon will re meet in the fulness of time..

[@A.M.Sleigh]

i suffer from insomnia pretty bad, longest with no sleep being 7 days straight. After day 3 strange things start to happen visually, by day 5 auditory and visual hallucinations, perception of time becomes very very warped, It wouldn't surprise me if this guy had thought he had been recording for hours but for it only to of actually been a few minutes. luckily for me medication ( strong ) actually knocks me out eventually. I feel for this guy i really do.. Sleep well friend!! RIP

[@no_peace]

I don't have insomnia at all, i need to sleep like constantly. But i can't. So I'm sleep deprived anyway. I never thought of it that way before. I get similar results, seeing things in particular. I also startle really bad, and have horrible physical sensations. Those are probably the worst part. If someone slams a car door it feels like a bomb went off, I feel like I'm in grave physical danger. Like physically, heart racing and all that, not mentally. And I feel like my whole body has restless leg syndrome lol. If i go to sleep long enough it totally goes away.

[@skator8423]

Day 3 is always when the voices start for me, I hear my friends calling my name and I feel bugs all over by body.

[@A.M.Sleigh]

@@no_peace I suppose no two people are the same. Maybe try a sleep diary and log times and durations and see when you best get quality sleep.. I also get restless legs. I hope it gets better for you

[@A.M.Sleigh]

@@skator8423 yes, im exactly the same.. enter the shadow people from day 5.

[@boyonline1]

@@no_peaceu should do labs and see if any of ur vitamin levels r low or anything. i had super low vitamin d and once i took vitamins the same symptoms u have stopped. i used to have 12 hour sleeps every night or longer but woke up tired all day

[@celedhion]

I've heard of his story before, but this is the first time someone has covered his life and passions, skills and accomplishments. Thank you for giving this tragic story the humanity and empathy it deserves. RIP Chay. There is a community of people that have been "floxed" giving each other support and raising awareness for these antibiotic types in order to keep future generations safe. You are not alone.

[@oh_why_her]

This is horrific. I once suffered from a 2 month long episode (?) where I could not fall asleep. I would sleep 2-3 hour night at 8 years old. I am blessed I was able to recover. May Ricard finally rest well. Thank you for this video.

[@bdarecords_]

A quick research (literally seconds) shows that it is extremely unlikely that he succumbed to fatal insomnia. This was clearly a case of psychosis. But that wouldn't make for a great story, who cares about truth nowadays?

[@Ari-zy2xc]

@@bdarecords_ yeah a quick google search is so reliable. Yeah, just ignore the more time it took to make this video

[@PapasGhuleh]

​@@bdarecords_yapatron

[@cherylclick1664]

maybe you're right , but it's tragic none the less

[@elizabethm8982]

@@bdarecords_ Severe lack of sleep can cause psychotic breaks, what's your point?

[@bushmusic1634]

Oh damn this kinda got me in tears This poor man not really being able to say goodbye to his son Is so depressing

[@dee1720]

i have extreme insomnia and without my medication i cannot fall into deep sleep. not as intense as ricard, i basically just keep drifting in and out of sleep all night. not being able to sleep is literally life altering and so stressful. im forever thankful that im able to be treated with medication, i can only imagine the heartbreak and sadness this poor guy went through... my heart goes out to his family.

[@Mike-es2yg]

What medication?

[@elianazuniga6541]

Second that question

[@dee1720]

@@Mike-es2yg trazodone at it's lowest dosage; an anti depressant that hase drowziness side effects that is effective in helping people with trouble sleeping

[@dee1720]

@@elianazuniga6541 trazodone at it's lowest dosage; an anti depressant that hase drowziness side effects that is effective in helping people with trouble sleeping

[@annas.8902]

I third the question

[@shooticide1070]

Thanks for doing a deeper dive into Ricard, I know this will probably go unnoticed but i appreciate the class act you uphold and the respect you have for the victims and subject matter of your videos.

[@Cuppicakes]

What a tragedy. I couldn't imagine going through what Ricard did. He left behind his blessings on the world. Through his son and his Art. I hope his son is doing well. Thanks for the video Nick! Well done.

[@YourlocalAgent4]

At 23:37. I literally had to skip it because it broke my heart so bad. All he wanted to do was be with his son and be a father. :(

[@positivedisintegration]

my "son and only" is such a cute phrase honestly

[@MeatballOwl]

I’ve only heard this sorry once before, but never heard that last message he wrote to his son. Made me cry. I hope he’s doing well wherever he is, now. Living that artist dream and carrying on his creativity for decades to come.

[@mysticthecatninja]

RIP to an artist and a father. He seemed like an amazing person that his friends were lucky to have. I hope that he is resting easy and watching over his son now.

[@tattoochick2517]

This was So sad. It’s terrible how much he suffered. 😞Rest In Peace Ricard 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@elsycongroo]

I remember hearing about this years ago, it broke my heart so much that for the next few days I just researched about FFI, great to know that you're covering this case since it's really not talked about enough

[@knowgood4206]

Wtf Nick!!! I've never had a video mess me up physically!! I couldn't finish it and I love ur videos!! Years ago, before my son was born, I struggled with heroin addiction. I've had to kick cold turkey many times which causes insomnia. My sleep would be exactly like that. Jolting awake, heart racing etc.. but would only last about a month or until I would give up and do more heroin. I'm so grateful for my son pulling me outta that life but watching this truly broke my heart!! With that being said, UR A F**KIN G NICK!!!!!

[@kompak]

Try joe dispenza meditations method. It helps, if you stick with it of course... There is however "no guarantee", but there isn't anywhere... Good luck.

[@jemoeder5701]

Congrats on getting clean!! Your son is very lucky

[@knowgood4206]

@@jemoeder5701 oh wow thanks guys!! Appreciate the kindness!!

[@GanymedeXD]

Congrats … and congrats for one of the first intelligent comments … seeing the clip I get concerned about the Benzos shown … no go for sleep problems … especially if misused can make it worse … they destroy a healthy sleep architecture … a fine balance of sleep phases throughout the night … they can cause what we see … but also … opiates … they can intensify jolts … they are absolutely natural … most people know them from falling asleep. Withdrawals then cause jolts, insomnia and a horrible restlessness … but alcohol can lead to it as well. The video provides zero useful info. Impossible to judge … often its the patient’s lifestyle thats the culprit.

[@qwave1322]

Thanks for this kind tribute to this brave man. I hope he gets his wish to see his son again. He was a good father.

[@X_irtz]

After seeing the absolute living torture this poor guy had to endure for over a year, this makes me not take sleep for granted as much... He really did not deserve this. Rest in peace.

[@heyitsjaceypenne]

Fluorquinolone toxicity. Cipro and Levaquin and the rest of them have caused so many problems for people that there is a community of more than 10k people on a fb group im in. I suffered from this from being misdiagnosed and given Levaquin. It's killed some of us, and it honestly ruined my life. Im never going to get back to normal but I am close to it.. some others aren't so lucky. Thank you for sharing this story. Every time one of us who've had similar reactions to this med speaks out - doctors either don't believe us or refuse to acknowledge the antibiotics were the problem. Rip Ricard. So sad.

[@christinecheeseman]

Do you mean you were allergic to the antibiotics, I've never heard of this before, thanks

[@foxylibrarian1]

Sounds like he got floxxed for sure. These antibiotics destroy your mitochondria. I had a horrible reaction to one after prescribed Avelox for a sinus infection. My throat closed up and I felt like my skin was on fire. I called my dr and she dismissed it. I then looked it up in internet and saw it had an FDA black box warning. This class of antibiotics should never be prescribed unless someone is exposed to anthrax.

[@heyitsjaceypenne]

@christinecheeseman hi! im not really sure. I'm in a group with people who had bad reactions but there's so many of us that it makes me think its more than just an allergy. Long term effects too. I now have panic attacks, something I've never had before, issues with my heart rate, blood pressure and stomach issues something else that happened almost immediately afterwards. The antibiotics were also used during the gulf War ( I started researching) and sooo many people were also affected by it and continue to be. I don't think this an allergy, I think these drugs are just unnecessarily strong and dangerous (unless it's used as a last resort drug)

[@heyitsjaceypenne]

@christinecheeseman they usually give it to you when you have an infection. They misdiagnosed me and thought I had kidney stones but I didn't. That and the chemical they use when giving MRIs Gadolinium causes similar effects. Not sure if u know who chuck Norris is but he was an actor who's wife got "poisoned" by that chemical. Her effects/problems are similar to cipro antibiotics. If you ever get prescribed this for something, please, unless it's absolutely needed as the last resort and there's no other safer options, I would think twice about it.

[@LOUIS-nx8jd]

@@christinecheeseman its something you should educate yourself in, it may save your life or your loved ones, so many meds cause permanent damage where live is barely liveable.

[@fjsolossa29]

As an indonesian, It's a bizarre experience watching his turmoil, and downward spiral of cognitive function. May he rest in peace.

[@DrOrr]

Ok

[@PresidentCoochieGrabber]

U mean as a human? If he wasnt Indonesian would u feel less sympathy for him?

[@DrOrr]

@@PresidentCoochieGrabber right? Can’t stand these “As a(n)-“ comments no one asked lmao

[@JohnnyVincent4]

​@@PresidentCoochieGrabberWho let you think like that, of course even if he is not Indonesian we still have sympathy for him, humans must empathize and sympathize with each other

[@sandrohernandez4401]

​@CoochieGrabberTrump my dude, OP is Indonesian himself.

[@Eli76843]

damn i wasn’t expecting this to be so depressing… great vid nick… thank you for spreading awareness about this. insomnia or just mental health related issues are always in need of more coverage. keep it going 🫶🫶

[@Nativlo]

This is actually the best sponsorship I've seen.. I'm actually gonna buy tbh as it's relevant to your channel 💪🏼😁

[@lorrithelinguist]

I actually cannot watch this video, as much as i love you Crowley. This story is incredibly terrifying and sad that i hardly even want to think of it. He seemed like such an amazing guy.

[@sonofadam99]

I understand. This video is so disturbing.

[@snakesandstones4252]

Same, I started to watch it, but I cannot finish it... My mom suffers from severe insomnia, has most of my life (I'm 28) and is on the strongest sleeping medication out there I'm pretty sure (ambien) and sometimes still doesn't get any sleep... she has gotten poor memory and more clumsy in recent years as well. it's gut-wrenching thinking about her going through this, truly horrifying, I'm tearing up just typing this. I don't think I need to finish this video.

[@BulbaWhat98]

This whole thing made me cry. Such a wonderful man being forced to go through this

[@MrRyancarr13]

I knew as soon as you started describing the symptoms that the antibiotic was ciprofloxicin. I was (wrongfully) prescribed this from my doctor last year with the warning that it might 'burst my achilles tendon' or something which just had me questioning it entirely. I ultimately decided to get a second opinion and NOT take it, so seeing that section in the middle where people have had permanent, debilitating physical and neurological issues as a result of taking it was legitimately terrifying. Why the fuck is it still being widely prescribed if it's such a nuclear bomb of a treatment?

[@mariacortez9754]

I used to suffer from chronic UTIS when I was a teen and I was prescribed Cipro numerous times. Thankfully i never had any serious side effects. But nowadays I hear Keflex is preffered for UTIs

[@saraf9081]

Tendon rupture is rare but possible side effect. It's a overall safe med. I doubt the insomnia was related to the antibiotic

[@karicherrycola]

There are some types of bacteria where fluoroquinolone antibiotics like ciprofloxacin are truly the best option. However, fluoroquinolones are usually not used unless other antibiotics are ineffective. They're definitely not a first line treatment for UTIs and kidney infections anymore. And while no prescription medication should be used without a prescription, ciprofloxacin and the like are some of the absolute worst medications to take without a doctor's supervision.

[@GBD867]

Here in Panama City. Don't exist law to out complete this dead antibiotic.

[@taylorbates5669]

Insomnia is absolutely a documented side effect of fluoroquinalone antibiotics.

[@dimitris90schild92]

Nick crowley the best CHANNEL for this kind of videos. Hello from GREECE!