Abolish “Struggle Love” Part 2

[@gean4890]

My ex would read all the communication books and listen to podcasts and talk to people, and we even went through 4 different therapists. He did all that so he could tell me what was wrong with me and "fix" me, never using any of it for himself. We took dance lessons for fun, and he kept yelling at me so the dance teacher danced with us individually to see where our issue was and told him it was him... we were suddenly "to busy" to keep going to dance. Each therapist told him he was the one who was in the wrong, so we suddenly had a new therapist... the last one said we shouldn't be together. So I broke up with him. But I certainly tried 😥 It wasn't until I was out that I learned he was a narcissist. So he believed he could do no wrong.

[@penelopequinn1604]

Best video I've seen in forever. Thank you for articulating this so perfectly. I ended such a relationship almost a year ago, after working at keeping it going for a solid 11 months. Being a spotlight was NOT appreciated and my consistent cleaning up was taken for granted. Came to the same conclusion as you. Totally unfair and unsustainable.

[@e.458]

And this becomes even more important if kids are involved. Please do not stay together for the kids, you're not doing them a favour. You'll teach them how to ignore their needs and wants to people please bullies. You'll subject them to your partner's erratic and harmful behaviour which will prevent them from freely developing their personality and potential. You're setting them up for a life of crippling mental health issues.

[@JamilaBradley]

This is such an important insight, thank you for saying this

[@annjohnson4061]

After almost 50 years on this earth. In ALL of the relationships i have EVER seen on been in. The "TOUGH TIMES" are almost always the men doing something and then guilting the woman into dealing with it. Surprisingly these tough times and consequently all of physical and medical conditions it causes in women disappear when she gets away from the man. That's why single women live longer and healthier lives than partnered women.

[@JamilaBradley]

yes! the proof is really in the data now. and the compromised immune systems of women who try to struggle through

[@karenbachar5253]

I really appreciate you and your views and wish every happiness.

[@msevolution2317]

The 🥨 is so familiar RIP. - side note your jumper reads as MAIM I was like “right on” them realised it was flipped and actually it’s Miami 😂

[@mplundr]

"women take full responsibility" 😂😂😂 I can't even retort

[@KMRAND]

So much wisdom…. Absolutely brilliant insight. Just subscribed.

[@JamilaBradley]

welcome!!! 💕

[@projectpiano5231]

Seconded. I was thinking to myself "I should create a cliff notes/bullet point version of this video" but I'd be bullet pointing the entire video lol it feels like it cuts to the core of the issue in every sentence/set of sentences. I'm really curious how much introspection and therapy it's taken Jamila but in any case it's really insightful and helpful

[@anilbalram7768]

This goes both ways. Women expect men to do better than the woman so by default the tough times are something that both parties experience. But men don't get the luxury of getting to take breaks or step out of the relationship because they are punished more for it.

[@JamilaBradley]

Just context allergic i see...