Off Topic: Ep. 13 - You’ve Aged Like a Heroin Addict

The AH Crew sits down to talk about PrEP, Chinese Movie Racism, the oddly pagan Jägermeister logo, and more on this week's Off Topic! This episode originally aired February 26, 2016 and is sponsored by MVMT (bit.ly/1SsrdIy) and KZbin Red (bit.ly/1Giz0o7)
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Off Topic: Ep. 13 - You’ve Aged Like a Heroin Addict
/ achievementhunter

[@jstephen1]

"The only way anyone else is leaving Achievement Hunter is in a body bag." That's the best Geoff quote ever

[@shattteredporcelain]

its how Aleks left

[@killdavies709787]

Aleks is cowchop

[@imyourfriend4317]

4 years later and this has been proven untrue

[@RedJLP]

@@imyourfriend4317 Though that wasn'treally Geoff's fault

[@davidrojas7389]

@@imyourfriend4317 Didn't Geoff leave Achievement Hunter?

[@benjaminjandt49]

"You only rip on people you have mutual respect for" "Yeah" Geoff: (Immediately) "No"

[@Ozzmaster2112]

"that guy thinks consequences is a food" -my favorite thing Lil J has said to date

[@goldstarofvenus1861]

"I'm adorable!" -Jeremy Dooley You are not wrong.

[@ItsMichaelReid]

Jeremy in this vid is like that kid in a parent teacher conference

[@RoximRox]

The range of emotions that played across Michael's face when the titular moment happened (36:50) was priceless. Just absolutely amazing.

[@goodmorning8674]

this is like two pairs of gay dads trying to adopt jeremy

[@Gmaninator10]

Glad to know I'm not the only one who's done the dick toilet seat slam. Thanks, Geoff.

[@TannSquid]

+Gustavo Agosto I've done it twice. Each time I thought my dick was going to fall off.

[@TannSquid]

+TannSquid I should specify that it was accidental.

[@shivdesai8978]

+TannSquid why would you try it a second time

[@zigzag11875]

+Gustavo Agosto That's my biggest fear, the toilet seat ripping my dick off.

[@Windrunner007]

+Gustavo Agosto HOW IS THIS A THING I'm a chick and I cringed out of my skin at that story

[@temetnosce2099]

I'm looking forward to Jeremy's gradual transformation over the years from good-hearted chap willing to let that stuff roll off his back to either an angry, psychotic lunatic or possibly just a broken-down, defeated man. Which way will he go?

[@AsianGamerKenji]

So a Ryan or a Jack

[@paxcallow]

looks like we went the first route!

[@TheChapelx]

He's become a weird combination of Lindsay and Ryan

[@PyrotechNick77]

And now he's left

[@thekidchef3795]

The part where Michael quoted from the end of Off-Topic 63 is 32:46 You're welcome

[@REILLY3883]

Mackenzie Kiem thx

[@RisingAssassin]

Thanks!!

[@miguellg9348]

Thank god. I was losing my mind trying to fint that moment lol

[@zakkeith1508]

Jeremy from AH and Jeremy from FH look almost identical from the wide angle.

[@stevenjasso7031]

Zak Keith i thought the same

[@zakkeith1508]

I realized that his name isn't actually Jeremy. They just said it cause he looks like AH Jeremy

[@brysonfrank6476]

True story, Bruce actually changed his name from Kitty to Karen. He also traded in his MG for a white Chrysler Laveran. Two days later, the song Short Skirt/Long Jacket came out written about him. That's why he changed his name again to Bruce.

[@Daugust77]

was he wearing a short skirt and a loooooooooooooong jacket?

[@brysonfrank6476]

Augie Oberkrom yes

[@seantaylor2683]

+Bryson Frank *Chrysler Lebaron

[@EruptionFang]

I see Jeremy learned Shadow Clone Jutsu

[@ironmanultron7056]

KAGE-BUSHINO JUTSU

[@aboubaahshour593]

+EruptionFang is it weird that i was playing naruto while watching this

[@hockeyplaya0021]

They are training Jeremy in film culture quite well actually

[@generictimestamperstupendi9021]

Tbf fair, its not training as much as negative reinforcement and shaming

[@khl.2335]

I feel like Michael's evil cackle laughter has kept me afloat through a lot of hard times. he's got the best laugh. its both entertaining and attractive? and definitely unique

[@Astonkid08]

Geoff is literally the best part of the podcast, every week he has horrible shit hes done in the past

[@Eorzat]

+Gunningyoudown If Geoff just wrote down all this shit, he could have a pretty good book on his hands.

[@mxechx]

This video has been up for 10 minutes how the fuck have you people already watch it and commented

[@JoshinGamer]

Sponsors

[@Peter-in4do]

It's been available for a few days either from the livestream or the audio version

[@GuzzyBear]

I usually comment as I watch to other comment thread when something funny happens lol.

[@TJskillz169]

+LoveAndStuff so you watched or listened to it there, then came to the youtube video just to make a comment? Idunno, seems a little odd.

[@HauntingPeace]

I don't have to watch it because of course Jeremy shoehorned his way into a standard 4 person podcast. Fuck that guy.

[@RisingAssassin]

I love how concerned Michael got when Adam said he's aged like a heroin addict.

[@LukeReturns]

1:04:43 Classic Funhaus joke. Love 'em.

[@batmansprotege1569]

i rate this podcast 4/5 beards

[@Beesechurgerr]

Goddammit Michael

[@BBoyDrkNova]

HAHAHAHAHA

[@maxwell9211]

I forgot how fat and angry Geoff was when he was drinking

[@jajjahshwwguqjq6099]

Fuck now my suggested videos are all about heroin addicts

[@martyn5939]

Same hahaha

[@RockZombieIAm]

Mine are about Bollywood actresses and I can't understand why.

[@Pritchman]

+Martyn “Martini” Allison Really? mines about Bollywood actors. huh.

[@jakomioftherose2434]

+Vivienne Christine That's funny: I get vids about people never revealing their age...

[@jajjahshwwguqjq6099]

+Jakomi of the Rose I got one about a dead Batgirl actress.....

[@mattdwyer2539]

This was amazing, I can't breath after watching this. Great job, keep it up!

[@cragmanic4187]

I always enjoy having a little whistle along at the start of these videos.

[@stig4prez51]

i still have no idea who funhaus is or where they came from they just kinda showed up one day

[@zakaryfoley1801]

Look up inside gaming and watch the older videos, they worked for Machinima but left then Rooster Teeth hired them or something.

[@SlimTheydy]

they are the survivors of IGN who were saved by the wise and magestic Matt Hullum and Burnie Burns

[@ScottThompson1996]

+Derry O' Connor IGN is an entirely different company, still alive and well, these guys are the old IG.

[@SlimTheydy]

Scott Thompson thats what i mean, before machinama turned it into its corporate slave (like every other channel in their web of lies)

[@mholden020]

I love these conversations where they go over Jeremy's movie history. It makes me feel good to know that other people get that kind of treatment for not seeing movies lol

[@BronsonFan111]

+Athalon304 It's a kind of bad feeling but it's still funny.

[@SmittyWerbenJager56]

The recommended vids for this are spectacular

[@dylanodquier9695]

This episode was pretty great. Loved the role-playing in the beginning. Also yeah, the episode of On the Spot that Geoff was on was really great.

[@ProfezorSnayp]

36:51 the quote you're looking for

[@TheRelentlessTroll]

I like how they made fun of Jack for not liking the Ghostbusters trailer, but when it came out, it was every bit as bad as everyone thought it'd be lol

[@rileyclarke6594]

A podcast with Achievement and Funhaus, this one is my favourite one yet!

[@Jakes1387]

one of the best off-topics

[@BlockoStudios]

Dude's bathrooms can be warzones too. I remember I had the world's worst nosebleed after a wrestling practice and the bathroom was just covered in blood. Like handprints on the wall and a trail going from the toilet to the sink to the trashcan all over the place. This was the school bathroom, and a rumor went around for a while that someone was murdered in there. I didn't tell anyone that it was just a wrestling accident that caused it :^)

[@AviatorMage]

Geoff is a horrible person and I love him

[@aaronm1370]

Aviator Mage I

[@thomashovet8480]

This is still my favorite Off Topic of all time

[@paradox0173]

Off Topic just keeps getting better and better 😂

[@MikeCaputo]

I thought for sure that the title was a statement that someone said about Geoff. Boy was I wrong.

[@MCHellshit]

+Mike Caputo Apprently heroin addicts age well. Who knew?

[@salad6471]

MCHellshit but they really don’t

[@johnnypt14]

Why is michael refusing to accept it and says "doesn't make sense" after Jeremy saying: "In a game I'm actually doing something"? You can't be more clear than that. As a huge movie enthusiast I find that to be a perfectly valid reason.

[@kylelapointe7294]

Geoff's stories are always amazing.

[@sparkplugo]

This episode very effectively made me less insecure about myself. Thanks guys!

[@ToxicGaming-fv5go]

I didn't have my glasses on and it's 3:00AM when the video showed up I thought there were 2 Adam Kovics.

[@Abdulaziz-vf7gk]

RTAA 1:09:00

[@overestimatedforesight]

My hero

[@johannsalazar3853]

You saved me. You have my gratitude.

[@aaronwilliams6679]

Adam and his wisdom. Brilliant.

[@ryannrosenfield3416]

The day this aired was on my birthday. Thanks achievement hunter. Best birthday present ever!!!

[@sfeinberg16]

Leo won the Oscar everyone I repeat Leo one the Oscar

[@sfeinberg16]

won*

[@Herbie_Cucumber]

How is that relevant to this video?

[@Scarecrowthedrifter]

+Herbie Cucumber its not its just news that people hink is relevant

[@AngryMongo]

+sfeinberg16 But who eight the Oscar?

[@Albertross21]

+Angry Mongo (AngryMongo) Naught me ;)

[@AssassinOfEgypt]

Michael has literally told that exact same AOL story before on Off Topic. It almost seems like word for word.

[@TheGrizzleFrizzle]

I've been waiting for this one!

[@dragoo468]

I love the titles they give Gavin at the end of these

[@DarkdevilKnight0]

No Geoff keep picking on Jeremy's terrible movie knowledge. He needs to know his folly.

[@CalmThrill]

Michael has the greatest laugh haha 32:22

[@zzAcervatezz]

I love Jeremy's facial expressions and finger movements

[@PeerlessLight]

Loved this episode.

[@lukecurtis5850]

dont try to eat at the 1:00:00 mark, thats my lunch done

[@Puggle64]

Jeremy is so blushy and cute

[@tribot9688]

Nah a dunce. XD

[@still_overthinking1665]

I love Geoff is talking about how unprepared AH were and how they were being dumb. And Jeremy is just like "I don't know how much of this is me".

[@Techn1colorful]

Damn ive been unbelievably depressed the past couple days I needed this

[@bigswordspikedhair]

I guess I can understand Geoff's concerns. He was in the Army. In there, if you act like a fucking asshat, your boss can chew your ass out, demote you and possibly throw you in the brig. Because of that, even the screwups can at least do their job with some semblance of professionalism imbued in them from Basic Training. He was there for five years, and then gets out to work with a British kid that asks hypothetical questions about the cognizance of legs.

[@Shadow-ue6fq]

The fucking title of this video is giving me some weird recommended videos

[@ChrisDominey]

Greatest hour and a half of my life.

[@Zooman0001]

Best Off Topic yet.

[@catchingbird1]

I love how Michael reads the ads

[@purplemacaw4189]

its great host read adds are the best thing to happen to internet adds

[@mattwebi]

*insert brand relevant activity here*

[@dylandunagan7760]

they should play civ against each other it would be so good

[@robertjencks3679]

yes. a thousand times yes.

[@AngelicEternity92]

I went to have this play in the background while I finally get back to Fallout 4... Then, just because of the entertainment, I look at how much more time was left in the video only to realize I was 50 minutes in and still haven't loaded my save... Needless to say, keep laying into Jeremy, it entertains me. Yes.

[@nathanlenar9796]

This is one of the funniest podcasts I've ever seen

[@ktcrvdpoak]

how did mvmtwatches not notice they had the word twat in their name?!

[@wulfske8888]

The brainwashing Jeremy bit was the closest I’ve ever come to pissing myself from laughter

[@dtonk431]

best off topic yet!

[@cabmen1]

This show was so chill

[@mothecat7670]

is that the chardee macdennis game board behind Michael I see???

[@austin31bennett]

That's what I thought haha but I zoomed in and the writing doesn't say "level 1, 2, 3" :/

[@SmythJunior]

Only an hour thirty? I feel robbed.....

[@radiocrooks5247]

When they were talking about how the new ghostbusters was gonna be good, I almost blew my brains out

[@ArgolasBowmaster]

Once again damn near laughed til I passed out.

[@charliekelly478]

i feel bad for jeremy, i bet he hasnt seen pokemon 2000

[@Riskbreaker_Riot]

What is this???? Bruce wearing pants????

[@sethb1689]

Just a few days ago i was talking about Pokemon Snap and the machines at Blockbuster with a few friends on Xbox Live and here they are bringing it up on here. I also remember renting a Sega Genesis at Blockbuster a few times when i was little. Man, i miss those days.

[@mattyeh2718]

I'm particularly fond of Gavin's contribution to this video.

[@Dylan_Wee]

Why wasn't this in my sub list?

[@Rando0]

yes, same happened to me.

[@assistantmagus5213]

"This is my fucking chair"

[@bunkyboy9156]

This is episode is even better then the Australia episode. FH + AH = comedy gold

[@BatmanFangurl]

Literally just watched this on your website. Come on KZbin and it's the first thing. really... I had to go through all the trouble of navigating, the RT site and it's already here.

[@ElmGarfield]

His name is Robert Paulson.

[@theswaff699]

context?

[@thejew1214]

In project mayhem, we don't have a name, in death we have a name. His name is Robert Paulson

[@PhoenixSora9aOs3]

where can you find the wrestling video they are talking about?

[@iceysnip3z258]

Not out yet

[@kylesantomauro3925]

+Icey Snip3z It's STILL not out yet.

[@elizabethmanion258]

UGH.

[@DotaBassHunter01]

Is it out now?

[@iceysnip3z258]

For those that do not know. The first part was released a few days ago. Get on that!

[@HKy0uma]

OMFG That's the best spot on Geoff impression ever!

[@auggment]

This is awesome and Jeremy deserves it all.

[@ChrisAK360]

Only came here for Funhaus

[@crpineo]

+MK ULTRA SOLDIER II we don't care

[@nizzleprizzle9783]

Ew

[@GarboGameplayLIVE]

Have you told your parents that you're gay?

[@JohnKerns91]

dirty nazi

[@jaysekhon8014]

+MK ULTRA SOLDIER II Zoinks! My dipshit meters are off the charts!!!!

[@AnimaTweek]

KZbin Red is not available in Australia yet...

[@mememachine6080]

Rip

[@seantaylor2683]

it's not even available in Canada yet

[@christiansarrazin4802]

+Anima Tweek Torrent the movie

[@AnimaTweek]

Christian Sarrazin i dont have torrent.

[@embersaffron5522]

just use redtube, same thing

[@MrHyrulerHo]

man i love micheals laugh its fricking awesome

[@blakesimmons1289]

58:00-58:35 when micheal gets interrupted by Geoff his face was priceless and at one point he just cant take it and just bursts it out

[@ohnoanotherputz]

If the guys never talk about sounding again it'll be too soon.

[@c.davidwreath9628]

cancel the regular crappy RT podcasts and just bring this group in every time, gold

[@aaronxaf6018]

Or both ?

[@guifrakss]

+C. David Wreath Or maybe you could just... I don't know... not watch the regular podcast

[@Raptor14v]

ive spent the last 2 days watching funhaus' podcasts and i never really realised how much achievement hunter talks over each other and everyone else

[@arthurhuxley7704]

I would so watch an AH vid in Civ 5 just cause it's one of my favourite games and I love these guys' vids

[@purplemacaw4189]

That feel when the ANZCs were in the war before the US

[@Able0the0fox]

What's so weird about going to bed at 10?

[@christiancarpenter8221]

Off Topic is by far my favorite RT podcast

[@theswaff699]

same

[@yupperz00]

That chair makes Michael look so tiny and I love it

[@Marblez3]

According to Adam, Australia wasn't involved in WW2 rofl.

[@josefsieffen18]

+Marblez3 I think he meant they weren't involved with nazis. Australia dealt with Japan almost exclusively. As far as I know, Britain kept as many Australian soldiers as possible in Australia because they were under threat of invasion.

[@Marblez3]

josefsieffen18 500,000 Australians fought in Europe. And considering Australia only had around a 6 million population at the time, that's a lot.

[@josefsieffen18]

***** Wow, how many were in the Pacific then? I figured they were readying up for Japan by then.

[@Marblez3]

josefsieffen18 When Japan attacked Australia a lot of troops pulled back to the pacific. But until then a lot were in Europe, The Mediterranean and North Africa.

[@josefsieffen18]

Man, there is no mention of Australian troops in Europe in any source I've found, and I'm a WW2 history buff, so that's saying something. Pays to be a Brit, I guess.

[@statiq1941]

Funhaus is kind of just the more mature, more niche AH.

[@KCAssassin98]

+Statiq also they're better at improv

[@butterybiscuitz6936]

+KCAssassin98 But worse at humor

[@KCAssassin98]

The Great and Lovable Peridot well considering pretty much all of ah's comedy is improvised, no they're not.

[@Tom-Pendragon]

Woah great video, saw the whole video

[@bindobud]

I love the movie questions because it reminds me I got through a film major without ever seeing Citizen Kane, despite it being brought up every five seconds.