Off Topic: Ep. 35 - Vomit King

The AH Crew sit down to talk about their eighth birthday, accidental explosives, homemade movies and more on this week's Off Topic!This episode originally aired July 29, 2016 and is sponsored by MVMT Watches (bit.ly/29ACJT8)
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Off Topic: Ep. 35 - Vomit King
/ achievementhunter

[@TimothyWenger]

I have no idea who Avery is, but I fucking love him

[@allisoncat596]

saaaame!!

[@TheeAztecKing]

he was absolutely hilarious on On the Spot!

[@michaelsabo5823]

an actor in a new show coming up called crunch time

[@AidanROTF]

+Harmon Freitas I actually haven't seen any. But damn his head to body ratio is messed up man.

[@ulluoa]

He's the author of All My Friends Are Dead, which anyone who can make a book like that is bound to have the best kind of dry humour

[@greatgoldino]

"How do you mount a huge nose?" Ask Meg.

[@d3ity777]

lol

[@trackboy17]

Reverse cowgirl I'd guess

[@rarykpark]

lol reverse cowgirl? so she can get a lil bum play from the huge nose? haha! edit: i was thinking of only facesitting for some reason

[@hockeyplaya0021]

Jeremy the MVP of this Off-Topic

[@Nitrocity7151]

More like the MVP of what I wish my childhood was

[@frankiehillman6351]

yeah the murdering videogame player

[@joshhaworth2155]

2 in a row.

[@ZeekyBoogyDoog]

Really wouldn't mind seeing Avery as a common guest. He really does meld well with the AH crew.

[@craneoquill4835]

I agree

[@ryanjohanes8551]

If you haven't seen the on the spot Avery was on I would definitely recommend

[@TheKupaKeep420]

I prefer Michael, Gavin, Geoff, and Jack/Ryan

[@MeAgain998]

True, but Avery makes for a nice change

[@Paul-ul9ep]

+Not A Ricer michael, gavin, jeremy and ryan is the dream team

[@hdefriend6002]

timestaaaaaaaaamps! 1:42 - welcome to off topic 2:05 - theatre mode 2 6:54 - lil' j! 8:27 - savage as fuck (michael's shirts) 12:39 - the swear jar 15:33 - mean comments and pokemon 20:08 - why is the table backwards? 22:13 - avery! 24:40 - crunch time & gavins nose 28:02 - michael the drunk electrician 29:32 - the anniversary stream 34:40 - highschool trouble-making stories (jeremy is essentially a terrorist) 49:31 - fire!! FIRE!! 1:01:48 - gavvy! 1:04:08 - Vomit King (warning: gross) 1:08:38 - ad read: MVMT watches (mvmtwatches.com/offtopic for 15% off purchase) 1:12:15 - homely (kkhkkkhhhhehhhh) 1:14:22 - throwback sunday 1:16:58 - camera talk 1:22:24 - skydiving & dying on planes and shit 1:27:36 - toilet talk 1:41:08 - avery is a NERD 1:45:17 - back to crunch time 1:47:58 - talking shit 1:51:37 - bye!

[@CelioHogane]

"There is a leaf, Leafeon" Oh yeah, unlike Flareon.

[@mr.person4115]

Vaporeon vapes

[@peterloya7168]

or jolteon. or magnemite, or zubat, or GEODUDE.

[@deangray.]

or, ya know, seel... the seal...

[@skeleton9499]

Nosepass.

[@CelioHogane]

Dakota M No, not fire, Flare.

[@ThePlainswalker1]

Gavin's End Credits Names: 1: Stand-in for Mr. Jones 2: Weenie Inspector 3: Fart Archivist 4: Magician's Assistant 5: Dentist for Mr. Dooley 6: The Law 7: Gurt Miser 8: (RTX Australia no credits) 9: Helmet Boy 10: Finger Holster 11: Peef Rimgar Superfan 12: Witch in Training 13: Inflatable Flesh Sack 14: Dan Gruchy's Assistant 15: Sphinctal Aroma Therapist 16: Funhaus Intern 17: The Guy Who is Going to Beat Jeremy to a Million Views 18: Smuggest Prick 19: Beaver Expert 20: The Guy From Coudy With a Chance of Meatballs 21: Anal Baguette 22: Deported 23: He is the Clit Commander 24: Ron Weasley 25: Human Excement 26: Dead and Forgotten 27: The Real Mr. Blobby 28: My Boi 29: EU Secessionist 30: Left the EU 31: Podcaster Extraordinaire 32: (RTX no credits) 33: Executive Platinum 34: A Nose in the Darkness 35: Savage as Fuck

[@Nitrocity7151]

Man, Ryan is savage as frick today

[@Tara-ys3ft]

But Gavin..? Oh.. He's savage as fuck.

[@wyatttdy3523rg]

Watch the language, Nitrocity.

[@nillabeany]

You're the real savage.

[@MrGeorgeFlorcus]

Today I learned that Ryan and Michael stand while they wipe. I will never see them the same way again.

[@gordonfan1095]

Thank you, I was going to say the same thing haha

[@scottmrrn98]

Dude brow I'm on their side. First wipe is sitting down just to test the waters, from there on out I'm a stander.

[@scottmrrn98]

+Raywowomg well thanks autocorrect, I meant "dude bros".

[@SEATTLEKID2o6]

Standers will one day rule this world.

[@crankthatrebecca12]

Duncan Van Ooyen I do to. I'm a girl tho

[@Nick-dq8tf]

This is one of my favorites Off Topics in a while. Jeremy's fire stories, the wiping debate, and Avery. Just wonderful.

[@macmac277]

Jeremy is like the kid in the group that everyone likes but hate equally. The one that you can talk to about anything but still treat him like shit for fun and he'll be fine with it.

[@skippydw1228]

Trevor is great. I wish he was in more videos.

[@jimmenychristmas7208]

gay

[@NaSKILLA97]

+jimmeny christmas it's not gay if you go in your own mouth

[@The7Goobers]

+jimmeny christmas it's not gay if it's on the moon

[@MaskedWarrior444]

I love how these things start out its like a dream! We always start off with them talking about something

[@HertzVT]

Micheal, Avery, Treyco, and Ryan? Fucking awesome cast this week holy shit

[@raynemaybe]

and lil j

[@HertzVT]

Yes and Lil J, I mean no disrespect Mr. J. Please dont fire me.

[@Tara-ys3ft]

+Blabidy And Gavin

[@HertzVT]

Eh

[@ImpartialDawn]

+Blabidy hipster

[@Ziorac]

18:25 Ryan proving once again he's just a cat in a human body.

[@fuckyohouse7291]

i love treco ever since that " so i started headed to stage 5 " joke lmao

[@drawsony]

The chemistry between this particular group of Off Topic guests is excellent. Those 2 hours went by without a dull moment.

[@bonesofeao3968]

between this and on the spot, Avery is my new favorite

[@ATK.]

holy crap I just realized how small Jeremy is.

[@v3nom11065]

My goal in life is to get a job where i can wear a "Savage As Fuck" shirt and have it be no big deal.

[@jorgepadraig2077]

become a coder and work from home lmao

[@HaletheHero]

I had no idea Homely meant ugly, and I live in the us, and I thought it meant welcoming and friendly and comfortable....well I've been living in Britain apparently.

[@cittycarloso]

Homely is more like plain, not exactly ugly but definitely not pretty.

[@user-pc3lg8tf3q]

It boils my blood when people use homely in place of homey haha.

[@cittycarloso]

Yo what up homely? FUCKIN' GOT 'EM!!!

[@METALFREAK03]

wierd people in america, with wierd slang. Nobody 'oes it 'ike us ma'lady.

[@AlliArt15]

Homely is more of a compliment for an older home, it has a grandmother conotation. So it's an insult that goes along with "quaint," which is not really an insult either. It's a kinder way of saying outdated and middle-american (and the coasts desperately try to avoid being middle american)

[@whitneymagwood2926]

"We just kept grabbing rocks, trying to sink the fire boat" Oh jeremy

[@shadowbob34]

Wow, RTAA got a whole season worth of episodes from this episode.

[@SimonHDTV]

everyones complaining about low quality, I can only see 1080p lol

[@Providence83]

You've special eyes...

[@XanderFarrellAnimations]

Look. Look with your special eyes.

[@SimonHDTV]

Xander Farrell Animations My Brand!

[@FosterTheCanadian]

I don't comment on podcasts typically, but this what really friggen great! Love the story telling, I thought Avery was a great guests, and the feel of this one was just all in all awesome. Best one yet.

[@Froggity]

Ecruteak, Michael? In Gen 1?!

[@cittycarloso]

Yeah he lost me with that one. Maybe he was thinking of Erika?

[@SullySadface]

GOLDENROD O L D E N R O D

[@joshhaworth2155]

Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

[@KingMathoro]

Man the lighting changes from the wide to the close shots throws my eyes for a loop

[@Phoenixcaptain46]

The scaffolding thing Michael talks about was a guy named Declan Sullivan, it was a lift, and it was a University of Notre Dame football practice. If I remember correctly, after he fell to his death, they continued the practice after knowing what happened. He was on the lift to film the practice.

[@djdunfee6775]

I really like the way they plug First in the beginning. It doesn't feel like a commercial really

[@leetneok]

does anyone else think Trevors voice and demeanor reminds them of a typical prep kid fresh from the academy his dad paid for?

[@fifimarieee]

Yes. I feel like it's because he's so clean cut looking compared to the others.

[@rarykpark]

when trevor smiles and says nothing, he looks like one of those brainwashed people in a dystopian future waiting for your response so he knows whether to let you go or take you to his overlord

[@kisatorimuru6627]

He reminds me of Brandon.

[@kisatorimuru6627]

He reminds me of Brandon.

[@kisatorimuru6627]

He reminds me of Brandon.

[@C-Biiscuit]

Jeremy needs his own podcast for fire and camp stories.

[@Arminius757]

There are a few possible issues as to why the beer keeps foaming. 1: the length of line being used is too short. You normally want a good length of beer line (10 ft) which provides resistance and helps prevent the CO2 from just straight outgassing. 2: the lines are no where near cold enough. Keep the beer, and beer lines, cold. If the beer sits in the line and warms up, it will start to lose the CO2 that it has absorbed. This will cause lots of foaming until you get back to cold beer fresh from the keg. 3: if you are using a CO2 system to push out the beer, the pressure might be sitting to high. Turn it down to around 8 psi. Just a few ideas. Not sure if who you guys had install this stuff, but if you keep having problems, just contact a local homebrew shop and they can help you fix it.

[@jasondamrau9943]

I love that at least once an episode my eye catches the Mr. Blobby mask terrifyingly lit on the shelf

[@100blueeyedboy]

Avery wrote "All My Friend's Are Dead"?! I love that guy even more now

[@Bleedblxck]

This guy Avery is really funny. He was really good on On The Spot too, I wouldn't mind him as new member of AH.

[@ZedChuva]

On the toilet paper (1:30:00) issue, that's not right. I just checked the package and a 2 ply, standard home size roll of Royale has 165 sheets.

[@NamelessIncarnate]

Trevor is actually pretty funny. Put him in more stuff.

[@ChadVanHalen5150]

Why this episode isn't called "Essentially a Terrorist Attack" is beyond me

[@magosdoge1079]

Because 90% of the comments would be "OMFG, CLICKBAIT. I THOUGHT THEIR OFFICE ACTAULLY GOT ATTACKED BY ISIS"

[@fifimarieee]

I didn't know Avery was the author of that book! that's so awesome

[@CrestFarms]

i know Michael wont see this but. with the Pokemon talk he meant to say Celadon city. Ecruteak was in Johto and was a ghost type gym. just trying to help out for the people that might get confused

[@MrKilljoy212]

Thank God us New Zealanders and Australians use the Dual Flush toilet design - The water isn't pooled nearly as high as the US ones, not only do you drastically reduce hand to water contact risk but splash back is near to none

[@johnnypt14]

Even more interesting than the fact that half of people wipe standing while the other half wipes sitting, is how hard it is for one side to respect the other side's method.

[@rparker069]

oh also I can explain Gavin's heat reflections, it's due to infrared thermals reflecting from your body, it's pretty cool. Works way better on windows to a cold-ass room

[@brendoid2]

Been waiting for the correct version to be uploaded all day. Happy it's out now

[@cortex8589]

What was wrong with the previous version?

[@FarAway959]

they uploaded episode #34 with this title, it even had the thumbnail for #34 but was labeled as #35

[@titanb0a623]

the first version was last weeks episode

[@skatteredfate]

any of jeremy's stories from this podcast for an RTAA

[@auguststuguby3542]

I love Jeremy, he looks like a happy innoscent child, he always cracks me up :)

[@DeliveryMcGee]

Pretty sure the third "eye" on Sam Fisher's goggles is an IR flashlight, so he can see his way around a room with no other IR sources. It's a thing. Some Cold War-era tanks with IR scopes had a giant IR spotlight on top (in some cases it had a removable cover to convert it to a visible-light spotlight.)

[@DeliveryMcGee]

Also, re: one-sheet wiping, I've heard Michael's version first-hand (eww) from multiple soldiers.

[@DeliveryMcGee]

Proper napalm is NAptha (i.e., white gas, lighter fluid) and PALMitic acid, the styrofoam thing is a quick-and-dirty substitute from some old Army "how to IED" manual, which got popular due to being in the Anarchist's Cookbook (Ryan remembers that era of the internet.)

[@RthritisandFriendsPB]

I love that AH has been referencing WKUK how Abraham Lincoln really died. Loved those guys and that's one of their best videos.

[@YraExalgaSkgs]

This is one of the few podcasts out there that can work with just 3 people.

[@elizabethchen4788]

I love that Ryan's kneeling on the floor and his head is still higher than everyone else's, lol.

[@15DEAN1995]

lil j has probably told the best storys on off topic so far XD

[@robertjencks3679]

story time runs from about 34 minutes to about an hour for anyone looking for it.

[@indie3892]

I was here since this video was episode 34

[@jdmjtm8030]

I seen what you did, me too

[@arbitercay478]

+52whiteboy Lol, same. you think anyone got yelled at for that?

[@jaykon4026]

nah, the uploader probably saw it and was like: oops

[@samcrocker9544]

thumbnail made me nervous about who would be in the episode, but seeing Michael and Ryan makes it all good

[@berting344]

i very much enjoy Avery, more of him on podcasts please

[@werddrew5493]

If you were wondering why this was reuploaded, apparently they uploaded last week's podcast instead of this one.

[@MrSourFapple]

This was the best off topic podcast I've seen so far.

[@emilythompson4668]

God I love avery he needs to be a permanent member of rooster teeth. From the know, on the spot and off topic . His hilarious

[@belainegibsson.2082]

This was overall one of the funniest podcasts yet.

[@Hammer0fGod300]

everybody complaining about 360p my only option is 1080p its gonna take forever for this to load:/

[@mindtwister1004]

I got everything on mobile

[@Hammer0fGod300]

I refreshed the page now I have everything

[@tuxedomask7892]

+minetwister100 yea i couldnt get it to start at all at first so just left it alone for a little bit now im good (also on mobile)

[@METALFREAK03]

do people still not know it's YT processing time?

[@heavyheadbanger1]

does nobody in Rooster Teeth know how to pour a beer?

[@fuseunison]

Is there a word for this? When you think you've found the "perfect" community of people for yourself, but realize that even though the personalities may be in your favor, its fandom is still just a swatch of the internet, and is therefore just as vitriolic.

[@Ares-5933]

this is probably one of my all time favorite off topics

[@MrGeorgeFlorcus]

I like this Avery guy, he blends in well at Rooster Teeth. I'm excited for Crunch Time; I didn't like the trailer very much, but the preview at RTX this year was amazing, it was SO funny.

[@westleyroberts3070]

I flipped when Gavin said Avery wrote "All my Friends are Dead", I love that book

[@creepycommie1597]

I want to see a Photoshop picture of Avery and little J with their heads switched

[@oniwahoo6274]

So Dead by Daylight is based off of this one time Jeremy went to a campsite to light a bonfire and there was a crazy guy who screaming about bears attacking him.

[@kadawg13]

pro tip if you don't have the wet wipes but you need them (this is only at home, and with none of those chlorine cleaners in the tank). flush to get a clean bowl, take some fresh TP and dip it in the water.

[@PaganSamurai]

"Some call them 'Players.' I call them 'Victims.'" Fits the Mad King, doesn't it?

[@calciumgoodness4073]

About half stand and about half sit. Almost all didn't realise there was a third option.

[@arcwing2000]

watching the cheese can conversation in slow time is the greatest

[@isaacendler901]

Ever since they called out Michael's ears moving when he talks, i can't stop noticing his ears going up and down as he talks

[@chloedoran5120]

About Trevor’s fire drill story: sometimes the school will grab a student and keep them behind to test if the teachers would notice if they have their whole class together/are missing a student

[@ItzYaBoiZG]

Wow Little J's stories were so amazing. He should tell more.

[@mariogonzales5448]

That was legit one of the best podcast I've ever watched

[@cockynoodle]

1:12:05 Homely - "Of a simple or unpretentious nature; plain". You got it, Gavin.

[@Dangerwiggles]

There was one time some friends and I were all standing around a picnic table. A few of them took turns doing a high jump onto the edge of the table. I walked up to it and said "Well somebody is going to get hurt.... I might as well try this too!" Yeah one of my feet didn't make it up and I fell backwards from about 2.5 feet in the air onto concrete directly on my tailbone. Fun.

[@Jacket430]

Omg wtf I've been watching Avery since I saw him shirtless with a bleeding nose playing kiss from a rose on a recorder. This is awesome!

[@007phred]

I have never heard of someone standing to wipe. The only arguments I've heard are whether you should lean forward and go behind your back or reach between your legs to wipe.

[@vinniejones4967]

Avery is one of the only people in the company that I’ve seen successfully call Michael on something he’s said, it being the seat heat. Couldn’t believe my eyes.

[@peacevic]

That's probably the nicest credit Gavin's gotten so far.

[@originalemberstar]

When Michael's talking about having to go to Ecruteak before Sabrina's gym... Isn't Ecruteak in Johto? The part about the gym burning and him getting a badge for it did happen in Kanto, though

[@Ethan-oe7it]

Last time I was this early, it was last week's Off Topic

[@craneoquill4835]

Lol I get it

[@Dumbcrane]

Gasoline + Styrofome = Homemade NAPALM

[@cittycarloso]

Saiyan Jr does not give a FUCK about your napalm bro when he's shooting kamehameha's everywhere.

[@kyleselby3196]

+cittycarloso come on man. at least say he doesn't give a frick. we are all friends here

[@cittycarloso]

Kyle Selby I'm savage as frick dawg

[@kadawg13]

petroleum jelly works well too, and it's flammable.

[@anishannayya1]

...and what happens next involves a prison sentence...

[@emilymiller1072]

I used to stand and wipe too, but the toilets in my school were automatic, so to avoid them always flushing before I was done, I had to learn to sit and wipe.

[@iwllkllyoo1]

The most honest thing you can say about Michael's last words and last tweet is that he died as he lived, cursing at the nearest bystander.

[@Redflametrow]

1:28:33 Quite a few things I thought about this. Toilet paper/bog roll likely goes bad eventually. Whether it decays from moisture in the air or whether it gradually accrues bacteria, it does not stay the same/fresh. Moisture gets just about everywhere and toilet paper is absorbent. Moisture also attracts bacteria to it. So leaving out a form of paper in a big cupboard for like a year has decent odds of building up.The immune system on what you'd be using it on is likely not that high. The lower organs are in fact quite absorbent of many things.. Now I don't know all the factors when it comes to sanitary it is, but it does become less desirable if it's out like that all the time. You'd need like a vacuum sealed cupboard to properly protect it. If you have the doors open when you flush the toilet ever, then there's a good chance something in the toilet got on them. You can't really clean it once it's messy either as it breaks down. If you take hot showers in the room, it's likely being contaminated much more quickly. Now for the replacement side. Anything sexual would just be funny. It would either immensely speed up out of embarrassment or slow down anyone who is in the bathroom/loo when they see what's inside. You could be somewhat considerate and have tampons in it. It would be hilarious and embarrassing for Meg if you just had boxes in there. Any females who visit would also appreciate them. You could store cheap books or newspapers for people who may need a few minutes. You could leave mints or mouthwash. You could put a pop-out of something that comes out as you open the doors and retracts as you close them. Air freshener would likely be a good idea as that doesn't go bad for a long time either and helps in the restroom. So there, some reasons why it could be bad and some options. I'm not saying I know my stuff, but having it out of the plastic just seems like a bad idea to me. You also can always do something with empty space. The question merely is whether it's worth it to change or not.

[@coreylz1]

that moment michael says he never bashed a hole in his room or broke a light, i look at the hole in the wall under my desk, and look at my shattered light fixture on the ceiling. *sigh*

[@aandydaviss]

Jeremy's Gavin impression fucking killed me

[@wackyinflatablearmflailing6188]

Jeremy a cereal killer CONFIRMED!

[@Laggol]

Jordan could make so many animated adventures out of this episode..

[@zombiehunt48]

This needs to be animated!! I'm literally laughing my ass off

[@ATLover-kp3le]

Is this a re-upload? I could have sworn I got a notification for this earlier today.

[@rebeccaelizabeth8362]

earlier they accidentally uploaded last week's podcast again

[@ATLover-kp3le]

Oh, okay. I didn't watch it so I didn't know if I just imagined the notification.

[@kaylee-42]

yea same but when I clicked on it it was private

[@upstairslizard2234]

There's not another thing better to bond over than sharing a wiping technique

[@AdrianGonzalez-qr9jp]

I was waiting on this bad boy all day just to download off topic.

[@sightlessninja2456]

Jeremy has the best camping stories

[@CubiStudios]

Heads up, the game they're talking about at 1:42:00 or around their, James and Elyse did a gameplay of on their channel.

[@wiserd13]

I haven't laughed this much in ages, lil j's stories are the best

[@BrolanTravels]

I'm like, 80% sure they have literally done a video in that "Video game where you are controlling a video game" video game, or maybe it was Steam Train, but I know that somebody I watch played this thing.

[@ltshep713]

Calling it now. Their childhood stories are going to be turned into RTAAs. If not I will be disappointed, because they were great.

[@ThePlainswalker1]

The story about the skydiver's 'chutes not opening and him accepting death reminds me of a time from when I was in high school. I was driving a friend of mine back to our school's parking lot after a bunch of us had hung out because we carpooled and he was talking on the phone with his dad. I drive up to an intersection where I need to turn left but there is a car opposite me that also needs to turn left. I cant see the cars coming at me that are just behind him but the road looks clear right at the intersection and further down the road so I assume it's okay to go. I start to turn the corner and an oncoming car comes zooming into view when I'm halfway through the intersection. He is driving straight at me and is going to collide with the passenger door (where my friend is riding) and in the middle of his conversation my friend sees the car and just says "welp, goodbye dad..." I managed to speed up and just miss getting hit, but their story reminded me of that so much I just had to talk about it.