Act Like He's Going To Cheat | The Five Languages of Love

If you want to win the end game, treat him like he's going to cheat!
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[@bigkillkillbig]

So I have read through a lot of the comments here and I feel that the disagreement comes from their perspective of what the topic is vs how (I think) you meant it. For a man to be treated like he is going to cheat means their partner stalks their social media, takes their phone and demands to know every female contact they have. Don't return a text in 3 minutes? "Who is she? What did I do to deserve this?" Want to go out with friends? "You are just going behind my back" starts arguments over the tiniest things and brings it around to some random chick they both know. God forbid if he does have a female friend. "Why am I not pretty enough?" That is the beginner level experience of a man who is being treated as if he is going to cheat/as if he has. Most are even worse. Though my understanding of the beginning of your video (and if I am wrong then I am sorry) isn't to act like that. But instead act as if you want to keep him and do what ever you can (within reason) to make him happy so he doesn't have a reason to look outside of the relationship/break up in general. And if he does, then it is because he is a partner who was not worth your time but at least you did and acted in right way. Also when he looks back at what he had vs what he has he realizes that he left something way better.

[@joshuashook4399]

Sounds like someone suffering with borderline personality disorder 🥶

[@mr.invisible3770]

That’s true! My ex was going through my phone at night while I was sleeping. She had all my passwords. I only found out because after we broke up she sent screenshots of all my old messages to friends to one of my other female friends. I could never understand why she started fights with me.

[@ssazerac]

"Don't try to understand women, son. Women understand women and they hate each other" - Al Bundy

[@damanyocum149]

Exactly

[@perfectscotty]

I love al bundy.

[@peterflisher6584]

One of my all time favourite quotes

[@JenniferMoleski]

That was a great show, but maybe one of you can explain to me.... *If* my memory is being of service to me (it might not be), wasn't Peggy a pretty good housewife who always wanted sex from him? I never understood why he wasn't interested.

[@Jason2425able]

@@JenniferMoleski my memory isn't the greatest either but I used to watch the show along time ago as well. The way I remember it is that basically peggy was constantly nagging him and he basically was at the point of not caring. Picture this you're married and your husband is constantly nagging you and coming up with long lists of things you need to do to keep up with the "neighbors". He is stuck in a job that probably paid okay but the constant need to keep up has him completely stressed out. I have no doubt she loved him in the sense of the TV show, but she constantly over extended him. So that's where you get his lack of caring type attitude interspersed with his lashing out. As to her constantly wanting sex with him I don't know for sure but I think there was a lack of libido on his side from the constant stress. Keep in mind this all in context of the show.

[@matthewmagda4971]

Jennifer is too high brow for most people (and maybe a tad naive). While this may be awesome advice, it presumes that one or both people in a relationship aren't evil, shallow, ignorant or mentally ill. When really, most people need to go back to emotional/spiritual kindergarten.

[@crimsonite1524]

thats the problem, the typical woman is in expectation mode, not what she should give in return.

[@ascend3654]

we need this chick to make some clones of herself... with some low expectations. that would really help men out.

[@gwills9337]

agreed

[@crimsonite1524]

@John Saxton if i understand your question, you are asking what we are supposed to get back. ideally we are supposed to get pleasant devotion, affection and support. devotion meaning loyalty, and support by her being a home maker and easing financial burden where possible

[@dilbertjunkmail]

I'm unaware of any mature women that will ever consider a Man's needs or concerns, mainly because women are taught by our culture the Men are bad. That prompts men to do what they have always done and look for the younger inexperienced women that haven't become jaded. Getting older women is a difficult road because experienced women are hard. Life is hard enough so why marry a rock. You might end up losing half your stuff!

[@EclipsePRS]

I was the preverbal nice guy in my 20s and 30s, trying everything to make my girlfriend happy (one at a time, at different times). But I kept getting dumped. After my 30s and into my 40s I stopped trying because I learnt that I wasn't what girls wanted, so I started living my life for myself. And the funny thing is, my exes have since contacted me and said they made the biggest mistake leaving me and wanted to try again because they found out I was still single. That part of my life is over so I said no. They didn't want me when they where young and hot, so they don't get to have me when I'm successful and independent. I'm now 48 and have experienced the world via travelling, I really enjoy my own company. While I am still looking for that special someone, they are going to have to be amazing for me to settle down with.

[@Prophezora]

Good for you!

[@ypey1]

Cheers to that!

[@mljrotag6343]

Good stuff. Congrats.

[@MrKrushgutz]

You should stop thinking that there is “that special someone” out there for you. Only women think like that. I think that is the core of your niceness with women. You are compatible with thousands of women. There is no such thing as a soulmate. When you do fall for a woman again you will probably mess it up again by being overly giving because of your nice guy mentality.

[@miskelproducts41]

Amen, brother...

[@tabcan]

Nope...first time I've disagreed. She will complain regardless of what you do, and you can waste years trying to make her happy...to no avail. Then when you leave, it's your fault. See if I'm not telling the truth on this one.

[@arioca]

You’re correct and you’re writing to a divorced woman who wants to make money on KZbin giving relationship advice to blue pill men.

[@jerrybruckhart9134]

Agreed. I think this video explains it as well as I have ever seen it explained. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jKSZpZVmeZ6knMk

[@jackjones3657]

Ask Johnny Depp!

[@hermanphilips4617]

@@arioca Funny... this video started as her telling women to be so good that it a man leaves her then he will realize how good he had it. And it ended with her saying she wants the woman to do so good that the man is happy to stay with her.

[@hermanphilips4617]

The point to this video is that she is trying to tell women to not do that. She is telling them to not complain and to try and get him to make her happy by first making him happy. She is trying to tell women to stop being toxic in a relationship.

[@Hawtload]

A woman giving me material things or using words like "handsome" mean nothing to me. To show me love you need to touch me and act like you want me there with you.

[@dustyratliff8583]

Cheaters will cheat regardless of how well you treat them. It’s what they do. They are self destructive.

[@mgtowquietearp506]

What did she ever do for him? Most of them think "I'm with him thats enough"

[@phearz0r]

"I listen to you!"

[@cormyat07]

Feminism has convinced women doing things for their man is an act of subservience. Then they wonder why men increasingly steer clear of commitment. Here's the truth, ladies-- all men find all women annoying in many ways, and we put up with those annoyances because in a reciprocal relationship the positives outweigh the negatives. Take away those positives and you shouldn't be surprised you're relegated to a Friday night hook-up. Make it all about your ass and your looks, and that's all I'm going to care about.

[@MsElizaRae]

I honestly hate when women say that like if that were the case cheating wouldn't exist 🙄

[@mgtowquietearp506]

@Jennifer Boehm Go build Your own homes , Build your own roads, Build your own cars , fight your own war.

[@mr.invisible3770]

TRUTH!!!!!!

[@phillyddon526]

The “plutonium” for the women I meet seems to be $$$...

[@Prestonesfpv]

Phil Lyddon yep.. and the cryptonite is free will

[@phearz0r]

best love language for sure. how thick is your wallet and how big is the bank account

[@bentleyjarrard885]

Years ago my Dr. & Friend said. "All women are Bi-sexual, if your Buy them something they get sexual". Kind of funny and true at the same time.

[@davelambardo6464]

@@bentleyjarrard885 lol, funny becuase it's true!

[@jsnjyn]

Nah, it probably just seems that way. If she’s really a gold-digger, it’s easy to weed that out if you’re seriously considering marriage: prenuptial agreement. No signature? Then no marriage. If she’s really only fueled by big bucks, then as Jennifer would say: she’s not a Queen, she’s a Princess. Keep looking! 😉👍💪

[@ak4d781]

Nope. Not it. I blew this up years ago. Every and I mean EVERY woman I’ve ever seen asked that question doesn’t get “ her love language” from her man. Their “ love language “ always seems to be whatever they aren’t getting. You can’t trade one for another. Human nature always focuses on what you don’t have.

[@cavelleardiel]

I actually think that our languages are what we did not receive as a child. Have you ever looked at attachment styles? They offer quite an insight into why some relationships are not working. We need to stop blaming each other and really listen to each other.

[@shiwan8]

Cavelle Ardiel I disagree. I want exactly what I received as a child minus the parenting aspect. Respect, accountability and what can only be described as ”spine”. That is it. If a woman that I want to see naked voluntarily gives me those then I’m ”buying”.

[@cavelleardiel]

@@shiwan8 Do you know what love languages are or attachment styles?

[@darkerkyo]

@@cavelleardiel i heard of love languages but what are attachment styles?

[@cavelleardiel]

@@darkerkyo Fearful, anxious and dismissive avoidance. I would highly recommend watching The Personal Development School on here. I am a hypnosis practitioner and our childhood experience create our attachments styles. If you had a dysfunctional childhood how you see relationships is affected by that.

[@john03063]

Moral of the story: No matter what you do for women, they want more.....

[@jerrybruckhart9134]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/jKSZpZVmeZ6knMk EXACTLY!

[@friesmj]

Said this the other day to a very “high quality” woman...she didn’t disagree.

[@jaco7675]

I don’t think that was supposed to be the “takeaway”, but you’re not far off.

[@wattjock]

The entire story is about a Man learning how to Love his wife. Nothing to do with a Woman learning how to Love her Husband. WTH?

[@TheChristianNomad]

Women do not love their husbands. It is impossible for them. They can only return affection for things they are given. So it’s meaningless to try and tell a woman how to love.

[@renaissanceman5847]

yeah agree 100%... its the whole "reverse" psychology thing here... and it doesnt work. Ive tried to make the wife happy.... and its like trying to inflate a pool toy with a hole on the opposite side in it bigger than your mouth... its endless effort that simply saps you of your time and energy.

[@dahoser1eh]

She was telling the story because it was the most relevant one she knew of. It just happened to be the husband finding the wife’s love language. The point is to try to find your partners love language. Her messages are mostly directed toward women.

[@123PhoebeC]

@@TheChristianNomad what a healthy perspective 😅

[@adamthirdbourne324]

A bucket of insecurity with holes can never be filled. To attempt to is exhausting and proves futile. Experience. Not bitter, just been there done that, got hat and shirt. Best of luck to All.

[@dilbertjunkmail]

Oh Damn, thats good! Had several like that too! Dodged several. Got one without insecurities or baggage eventually.

[@intelligentbodywork]

Two types of people: Those that wish you success and celebrate your successes. And those that attempt to get in your way. Which one is your woman?

[@peterbell6906]

Jennifer, you have such an explosive personality and charm. Those stops and starts in delivery and the quick asides. So easy to watch. This channel could be about anything. I'm glad the YT alogrithm found it but keep it up! Any success is well deserved.

[@visaman]

Oh. Jennifer, you had to go and say "Quality Time." Sigh, my Late Girlfriend, Cat used to give me quality time, once a week, as she called it, after we, back in the day, watched Xena, The Warrior Princess, in bed after having take-away Chinese food. She passed in 2010. Haven't been able to watch a full episode since. Now I am going to cry.😭

[@thisisgonnahurt2574]

BIOLOGICAL FACT: all human emotion is a chemical reaction in your head that fades over time,this includes love,and is the reason we hear women say all the time......i love him but im not IN love with him.......quit being a slave to shit in your head....focus on team work,respect and honesty.

Your future woman is more likely to cheat on you.

[@matthewmagda4971]

A.W.A.L.T.

[@samxd9468]

@Den Danske Helt at the end of the day, your marriage doesn't fix somebodies issues with Lust.

[@arioca]

Den Danske Helt So you’re basically a tool for her.

@@terrythompson7535 i am german so i cant explain the algorythm to u in detail ut if you for example copy paste msgs it will be automaticly get in spam mode so the channel owner has to accept it maually, i think in a pretty female ownership in that case the spam ordner is very full and you get problems. on mass msg you also get in there, and i saw 4 comments in first min video. hope i could help out a bit :) spread love, fuck big tech and trump2020.

[@phearz0r]

@Den Danske Helt spoken like someone who's never actually dealt with a woman in a relationship

[@liamgatts9814]

If a woman treats her man like he is going to cheat, he will more likely cheat because she has been treating him like shit for no reason. I believe its called a self fulfilling prophecy. Any woman treats me like a cheater, she is gone! No question! No cheating. Just dumped before the next woman arrives.

[@ddc163264]

She, like MOST women, STILL wouldn't have been satisfied if he HAD told her. Like I have heard before., did I not do what you wanted or do something wrong? A woman will say no, but I FEEL like you did! There is no pleasing a woman. Like Janet Jackson's female mantra song says "what have you done for me lately?"

[@zitens66]

5:57 I would throw this woman away immediately. No matter what you do, there is always something else extra she wants.

[@zitens66]

@Ryan Hughes His love not being reciprocated or understood is one of the nine reasons why I would throw her away and not marry or date her in the first place. I just didn't write all nine here. I wrote one of the nine reasons and it was the last one. Here's the list. 1) Unorganized. The fact that he felt the need to do any of this for her confirms this. 2) Messy. He cleaned her car. Not washed, cleaned. 3)Priority issues. He put gas in her car. Chicks like this buy shoes and can't pay bills. 4)Lazy. He cleaned the house too. 5)Bad with money. Obviously. 6)Possible gold digger and 7) Possible cheater. No kids mentioned so what is she doing all day that he comes home to a messy house. 8)No reciprocation for massage/back rub 9)No "Thank you" for his efforts

[@girgrumpyorange1873]

@Eli M if they know our language, how come they all refuse to speak it?

[@StormGod-X]

An older woman told me, years ago, that when you're leaving a job and have given your two week notice, by the time your last day arrives everyone should hate to see you leave. This, she said, secures good future references as well as a plan "B/C" to fall back on if the new opportunity doesn't go well. And how do you make them hate to see you leave? Be helpful. Take away headaches (work related) from your team and management if possible and be a reliable, positive person of value. Cover them while they have a smoke, cover their shift, help them complete their tasks if you see they're not really on the ball that day.. This, applied to relationships, is Golden!. No Man, leaves a good Woman. Even if he strays, he'll come back! Now whether he deserves her love and commitment and whether she accepts him back, is a different story. But like the Terminator.. He'll be back! Great videos.. Keep doing the Lord's work.

[@Cieruss]

Thank you very much for your videos Jennifer, I am a young woman listening attentively what you have to say about every different topic!

[@Hawtload]

If you want to keep your man, don't deny him what he expects from you.

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

@Jennifer Boehm Your husband is killing himself to provide for you but you can't take five minutes, every now and then, to blow him? And you don't have to be a supermodel, especially after spitting out kids, but watch your figure and dress flatteringly. I still remember watching a picture of General Petraeus and his betrayed wife, during that affair scandal with a journalist, and thinking that the cheated-on wife was his MOTHER! It is SELFISH of married spouses to not remain attractive to each other. You are taking your spouse for granted when you do that. Anything unreasonable about not being sexually stingy or getting fat, hairy, and unkempt?

[@stevemartin7721]

@Jennifer Boehm ANNNND men, there you have it, in a nut shell!

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

@Jennifer Boehm Earn it HOW exactly? What sort of courting? Candies and flowers every week?

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

@Jennifer Boehm ...This is all a given. Isn't working hard and providing and protecting you enough? You can not be romantically passionate 24/7. It is pretty unfair to be sexually stingy because you are not sufficiently bribed enough by your own husband.

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

@Jennifer Boehm Romantic ALL THE TIME? I mean, it IS unreasonable to be romantic only every Valentine's Day or wedding anniversary but EVERY SINGLE DAY?

[@joemancini2988]

The book is “The Five Love Languages” by Gary D. Chapman, a classic of pop psych quoted by every relationship guru on YT. My wife got it for me for Xmas one year. I discovered I was a “Words of Affirmation” guy. Say something nice to me, I will run through a wall for you. My wife, as it turns out, is multi-lingual: ALL the love languages are hers. No shortcuts there!

[@nobody46820]

Experienced the same here from my ex-wife.

[@alextaylor29]

Yes great book.

[@brianwenzel8791]

Damn. Sounds as if you've been played too.. been there, done that. Just be your real self. Nothing else matters..

[@andresvillarreal9271]

There is one very important thing you forgot on your list: a common project, or a common goal. If there is nothing in your relationship other than working to not let it fail, it will fail.

[@nicholasesser7033]

I wanted to re-emphasize that you're STILL producing great , informative content that is based in truth. Thank you for being healthy enough, Jennifer, to give back to others through discussion and through provoking ideas. :)

[@johnekberg7117]

You are awesome. You have the right ideas. Relationships take a lot of work. They are well worth it.

[@archangele1]

The problem a lot of people have is that they don't have a feeling of "Mindenki valakié' or everyone is someone. When either party, man or woman, adopts a prince or princess attitude they are on the fast track to failure in a relationship. If either party has to cheat, then they A, are with the wrong person, and B, they need to reevaluate their moral standards. If you love and care for someone, you will not even entertain the idea of cheating. But, you can not maintain a love for someone who does not reciprocate and who is willing to cheat on you. The biggest lesson I learned is that NO ONE is perfect... Everyone has their little quirks. The ones I love are the list people. People who actually have a long list of how someone m, that is a recipe for maintaining the single life style.

[@romanshuba4604]

This book is BS. The more a man gives his woman the less respect she has for him. Helping a woman in her duties/chores kills the relationship.

[@Butterffinger5678]

What you said goes both ways regarding “acting like he’s going to cheat”. I think a related note to that is to be the best person you can be for yourself and your partner. Love the five love languages Jennifer! Great book and such an insight to having better, stronger, lasting relationships. *Edits for grammar

[@georgekawaugray6881]

My last comment was for treating your man like he has already cheated on you - when clearly it wasn’t Molenski J. The plutonium analogy is bloody marvellous. Love your Chanel thank you!

[@raelcalvin7441]

I appreciate your husband. No lines crossed no jealousy.

[@lull2988]

Buddha said live your life like you're a guest and that attachment will only lead to disappointment.

[@busterbrown5715]

I’ll be up front and honest, I cheated on my wife many times once things went down hill. She continued to be more interested with her friends and their lives. Unfortunately we had children and we don’t have the greatest relationship in the world but after 22yrs, it’s better than most.

[@srkidd12]

5:52 the wife was ungrateful.

[@stankulp1008]

A woman who would later become a clinical psychologist sat down early in her marriage and wrote down 12 things she thought would make her a better wife. She then asked her husband to make a list of six things he thought would make her a better wife. One out of six was found on her list. And the first thing on his list was something that she admitted she should have thought of first. IF she had tried to perform the first six things on her list, she would have burned herself out to no avail. This is when the first thing on everyone's list of marital advice is COMMUNICATION.

[@buddhizai1042]

I definitely agree - my wife’s language is acts of service or small gifts, mine is touch and words of affirmation. Doesn’t matter how much I massage her or tell her I love her, she always responds best to a bag of her favorite candy and help with cleaning the house.

[@SuperChris1919]

I think that some of your best work yet

[@QuartuvLarry]

The things told by Think Before You Sleep is not without merit. But for what it’s worth, your siren song is the best. Let us not weep for waking from the dream

[@Bridgets524]

Great information and by the way, you're hysterical!! I love the points you make and I completely agree!!

[@oneofthosepeople2101]

Your logic is undeniable.

[@bradenkasper9802]

God, I wish she was single! This woman is what every man wants!

[@JasonValdelamar]

This is bad seasoning... if you have to fake it to be in any relationship it’s not worth it and have to work on yourself values. This reminds me why people cheat because your feeding bad habits and using love language as a cover up in my opinion. Love language should be direct by to your partner. Revenge is just shows your just as bad as a cheater. Great video. Stay blessed.

[@brettcameratraveler]

Really good advice. As a side note to a common issue - if you attracted him in the first year solely by your beauty and feminine warmth but then later inevitabilty lost your beauty and became masculine by forcefully nagging him all the time > just realise you have become the opposite of what was attractive to your partner. Men shouldn't cheat. They should end relationships that no longer work. If you want them to work in the long run develop yourself we beyond your fading beauty. Be your own person with deep knowledge and natural interests in many subjects. You expect men to do that. Hold yourself to the same standards and watch how deep and wide your relationship becomes in the later years.

[@theflyy68]

Can I just suggest that we step up our cloning game, so we can each have our own Jennifer Moleski? "Make American Women Great Again"!

[@66THEOSU]

Another is; revenge is a dish best served when cold..

[@robert6833]

Excellent! Excellent post.

[@lauren7dryad]

I have found that I am a words person but it needs to have some substance behind it otherwise it’s just lip service. I’ve also found I tended to do the same for my partner & use words. Whereas his are usually gifts, acts of service. He recently discovered you and guessing that is why yesterday he told me how good I looked, said out loud how much he enjoyed the day with me, etc and verbally told him how much that meant to me. Made me so incredibly happy. So now am going to bake for him (gift + act of service). You get the picture. So thank you.

[@brianboyd5910]

"When a Queen is by his side"!!!

[@hoshuanone2541]

I doubt anyone's cheating on you given the fact of your intellect and your personality. You seem like a great catch from watching your videos.

[@stinger720]

No no, you just proved our point as men. Women are never happy with anything you do. They want more. Even if he took the trash out she would say well, you forgot..... what he wants she holds over his head and he jumps through hoops. She laughs and then gets bored. It is never about him in today's society.

[@phearz0r]

yep. it's like she thinks you can satisfy the insatiable. tricking people into giving into terrorist demands.

[@saintjimmy7696]

Jen this is so helpful! I hope you guys and gals are taking notes, this is a gold mine to know

[@SuperChris1919]

It’s amazing how some of these comments and some of these guys just don’t get it makes me shake my head

[@paulmenard4114]

I love everything about you Jen. Maybe not everyone gets you and I must admit there have been times when you might lose me at the beginning but it ALWAYS makes sense to me at the end; we’re two very likeminded individuals... ✊🏼

[@michaelking4578]

Where I’m from if someone asks you if you want a coke the next question is “what kind?”.

[@Alpha-pq4cv]

This is so true. The rest easy part, integrity but it bites.

[@caitlinbayley1844]

My boyfriend and I are actually working through this book together now. It’s a really great couples exercise and has made us closer.

[@renemontanez462]

Ok, I give up, I'll go out with you!

[@DaveKohler]

Two videos in two days?? The Girl is BACK!!

[@bracey141]

Great video and excellent points. When you told the story of how the wife wasn't happy until she heard that she was pretty I almost flipped my ish. Understanding a person's love language is key. A lot of times men don't understand a woman's language and vice versa.

[@sheercold26]

i dont have a clue what this channels goal is. but I find your video topics hilarious 😂

[@tominpuertorico1689]

Saw a period series on Netflix about a Royal perpetual, cheating cad. His wife saw him cheat once and he didn't know she had seen him do it. When her friend found out the King had cheated on her, and questioned why she never confronted him, she told her friend that "nothing can be done anyway, and affairs tend to dry up like rain in the desert". In the meantime, she continued to treat the king like she thought he was always loyal to her. The years went by and the King's affairs kept failing. The King finally saw his wife as the only steadfast thing in his life and he began to love her more and more. All this time she never once even hinted she knew of a single affair the King had had. To him, she just wasn't very smart, and he was so clever. But she continued to love him, and he her, and they continued to grow happier because she was ultimately wiser than all the others.

[@alysekrysiak2184]

Reading comments. Some folks did not get you message. I lik the thought of acting like he will cheat. So act like the best woman he will ever have. But that does not mean mother him and do things for him. It means be a lady, smile, be grateful and tell him when he does things for you, so he will feel like he got it right! So if he does cheat, he can kick himself for screwing up the best relationship he will ever have. And if he doesn't cheat, you can both live happily ever after🎉

[@stonehands0249]

Wow. Based on the title, this video didn't turn out the way I expected it to go. Good video! I get it.

[@M3guy100]

Its very simple, if you truly love someone you learn, you try ,and you apply the things that make them happy, because you WANT too see them happy because THAT makes you happy, if it doesent your in the wrong relationship, simples

[@briangroves4124]

Unlike a lot of these people, I totally understand what you are saying. When people first start to date they are all about doing everything they can to keep and impress that person, but after a few years of marriage it stops and needs get neglected. Maybe if people began to think this way (especially in today's hectic society) there would be more effort to be sure your partners satisfied in the relationship.

[@tandyman1330]

Single men listen to this woman at your own peril. Whatever plutonium you discover today will be the wrong one tomorrow. They always want what you aren't providing at the time. It is a fools errand to keep them happy.

[@TheBigdutchster]

Two comments on this, no one can read your mind and vice versa, so good communication about one's wants and needs are very important. I was married once and wanted a new watch for my birthday gift. We went to the store and I pointed out the exact watch that I wanted. Come birthday time, I opened the box and it was a completely different style of watch and I absolutely hated it. It ended up being returned and I got the one that I wanted. I learned an important lesson in that she got me the original watch that she liked, not what I liked. Suffice it to say that there were other issues at hand, including her cheating on me with the neighbor, and that was enough for me and we got divorced and I have spent the happiest years of my life as a single man. A woman should compliment a man's life and not be his sole focus.

[@wild13hawk]

Re: Five Love Languages, it really helps if you can comprehend the language of your partner. My second wife was a "gifts" person, and unfortunately I am cheap AF, and have trouble buying small gifts. It didn't work out.

[@davidchristian2368]

Absolutely spot on!!

[@hello-u2w]

How do men vet women? I would love to have a family...a partner, someone I can count on, and someone that can count on me. But I don't want to live paranoid that if she's not happy, she'll leave. My ex left me because she wasn't happy. It has taken me quite a bit of time to deal with it. And now I'm in the position of how do I minimize my exposure going into a relationship? If a relationship ends because we "grew apart" fine, this apparently is the norm now. I just don't want to be financially destroyed as well in the process. The emotional damage is the hardest pain to deal with. Money comes and goes, but loyalty and commitment, that is the true prize from both men and women.

[@gti500]

Don't ask a woman for advice on women. Ask older guys.

[@kocerarif]

Whoever cheats deserves to be cheated but advising to cheat seems sick.

[@DiscoBarbarian]

Great video and advise as always Jennifer.

[@richardcasey7521]

... thanks for confirming that I shouldn’t be in a relationship.

[@JenniferMoleski]

Yup. You might find a girl that treats you better than you've ever been treated before. Absolutely amazing. And then you'll cheat and regret it forever. You didn't watch it, did you? Did you just make assumptions? Uh-oh. You _hate_ it when other people do it. Tisk-tisk.

[@klassicjammer7322]

The main message here is to know your partner’s love languages and take advantage of them guys. Good advice. And don’t be a shitty partner.

[@lexd9805]

I’m just over here binging on your channel

[@kimlague8018]

Your videos are a hoot ! I don't always agree with your message but your perspective is always interesting. I have to admit that listening to your channel helps me to expand my lexicon, replete with new words ;) Stay positive and stay safe!

[@bryanthe2009]

I see yes the seasoning relationships are work. He mad but he knows the truth. Don't doubt yourself! we will never hate what you have to say. We are here to understand your ideas.

[@alexmontalvolarealtor]

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Well put Jennifer M.

[@simonatkins7836]

I think we've lost sight of why men and women get together. It's to create an equal partnership that is mutually supportive, loving and nurturing. Life is difficult and a partnership between a man and a women helps both get through difficult times and celebrate good times. It's where both can be themselves without reserve. That relationship won't survive if one half takes more than they give. It won't survive if one half makes demands and sets rules that benefit one over the other. This isn't about, 'I want', it's about what can I do today that will make our relationship better. It's a love bank, you have to deposit more love than you take out. The difficult part is twofold. First remember what you give out, you receive in return. If you show that you are unworthy of forming one half of such a relationship, that one person who could make you so, so happy will back off and pass you by. And finally anything good in life requires the right raw materials. How you choose your life partner requires the right metrics. The right job, the right car, the right house has absolutely zero to do with how they create and support relationships. It does show that they can allocate all their time to making money, which now they have, they will want to keep, so will have little time for you which will give you the worst form of loneliness. Not exactly the right building blocks for a relationship. You want the right person, look at their character and how they interact with those around them. It's your choice.

[@saak28]

You made me laugh so much with the plutonium story. You made my day. Thank you.

[@michaelblacktree]

Long story short, if you stop putting effort into a relationship, your partner will stray. I've lost count how many times I see people get married, then put their marriage on "cruise control." Then they wonder why their marriage falls apart.

[@frant1cOne]

To a woman, a man putting in too much effort is smothering. A man not putting enough effort means emotional abuse. She won't be happy one way or the other. The only option is to not play the game, and invest in yourself.

[@pancakewsx]

That's not exactly true. Who usually loses interest in their partner? Women. Number of redpill videos about that, all backed with data. And what do you mean by putting relationship in cruise control? Focusing on daily survival when kids show up is a part of that? Doing three times more house chores than our boomer fathers is also part of cruise control? Working long hours at work, to pay the mortgage and feed the family, plus taking care of whatever you can at home afterwards, just to have an hour to yourself in the late evening is also a part of the neglect? Sorry, but your statement is such a BS. I've heard so many times crappy texts like "you need to maintain relationship" or "you need to take her to dates". Yeah, you need this, you need that, bla bla bla.... happy wife, happy life. She doesn't care if you're happy or not. Not true? Give your marriage five more years. And after all she will always be unhappy about something.

[@michaelblacktree]

Relationships require give and take, from both sides.

[@stevecalvert6420]

Thank you for helping others 😊

[@rafaelshumaker1883]

I am loving you more and more. I cannot say that I want to marry you (OK, fine, I actually do). I do not know you, except from what I've seen in your videos. But I can say that if I know a woman like you, I would want to date her, with timely marriage in mind. Thank you for doing this video that speaks to the ladies, and in a way to build them up. I will be thrilled if this encourages more women to think like you do about men and relationships. I'm older, but have virtually no experience with dating. However, I'm planning to start doing exactly that, very soon, and intend to keep a dating journal (for good reason). This next part is a bit long. But don't read it too fast. You're going to like it, I'm pretty sure. One time, long ago, after a particularly bad date with my then-girlfriend, I wrote all about the horrid experience and tucked it away, and forgot about it. Eventually she broke up with me. I was miserable for quite some time. I found the letter I had written to myself (7 pages, very detailed, all the emotions of it, holding nothing back). I read it and had zero memory of that event. It was my handwriting, so it had to have happened. I read it several times. Each time, it seemed more and more familiar. After about the seventh time reading it, the memory of the event was vivid. But it wasn't just from reading it. I was able to recall so many other things that were not in the letter. In retrospect, if I could have seen that letter, at the time I wrote it, but with the perspective I had when I read it years later, I would have left her the very night I wrote that letter. After that woman, I had learned a lot about taking my "key" back (to use your term). But she certainly had my key during my time with her, no doubt. The letter allowed me to later see things that I could not have seen when I was too close to the problem. Even though that woman was long behind me by the time I read that letter, it still helped me tremendously to be able to see where some of my biggest failings had been, many of which still needed work. And that letter helped me to see my failings with her. And seeing them clearly was the first step in being able to address them in myself, and fix them, improve myself, and to heal, and learn to be better. I used that letter for several months. And when I felt that I had fixed my failings in that letter, I burned it. There was nothing more to benefit from it. And it only reminded me of how badly she treated me that night, and in the whole relationship with her. She had her good things. It's easy to remember those, even now. But she was a controller. And as bad as it was, she was exactly what I needed, to wake me up. Rather, it was the derailment she caused me, that is what I needed. My bad experience with her is a large factor of what makes me so much better now. There were others like her, but none at her level. I am better for having known her. By the way, I knew nothing about "the key under the pillow" until I heard your other video on it. And even now, it's an insider term that only you and your viewers know. About a week ago, I watched only one of your videos before I was hooked on them. I have been binge watching ever since. I rarely disagree with you. I am refreshed by your opinions. And they power me up.

[@rafaelshumaker1883]

@Jennifer Moleski KZbin says I got a comment from you, but won't let me see it. Perhaps it is because I modified what I had written. I'm disappointed that I cannot see your comment. Even so, thanks for taking the time to read what I wrote.

[@mikehenthorn1778]

living well is the best revenge or to use a line from buddy guy's song " slipping in slipping out" i got a new way of wearing my hair, this big smile on my face, you didn't put it there. "

[@mrbill2600]

Marriage is not a game of one-up-man-ship. If you are not doing for the other to make his or her life easier and happy then your marriage is in trouble. And if she asks “am I pretty” you do not run off a litany of all that you did for her, you simply say “yes you're pretty” and pick something that originally physically attracted you to her and mention it.

[@kaiul2967]

Good tip to finding a good partner is take them on a minimalist camping trip for the first date, well maybe first vacation. You will learn alot about someone when all the bullshit in the world is filtered out to the bear necessities. (Unrelated to the videos topic but I feel our luxurious societal circumstance often have a big play in the way people treat each other and interact).

[@cjp2648]

Was this supposed to be directed towards women? I ask because I don't think any women are listening.

[@CalvinJamesJr]

Strong title . . . But keep hustling sis , I like your channel ! ! !

[@pascalmx8141]

say that to all the modern women ,good luck

[@howtowin.facts.7247]

Jenny.. did you hear me? I said I think you look awesome!!

[@RyanGBanister]

My ex's primary love language was acts of service. Turns out she was a narcissistic control freak and wasn't looking for a partner but a slave.

[@daleclark7164]

Acting like someone is going to cheat will become a self proficiency. This idea is not a recipe for success. But to create untrusting.

[@RedRose2355]

Wow......I might not agree with you 100% on everything, this video you are on point lady. That's right, the best "revenge" is to live your life to the fullest. Be the woman that got away 😍😍😍 He will compare all other woman to you and wish he would have appreciated that.

[@septimus1306]

He didn't say she was pretty......What the husband discovered that day was the thing that would trigger conditional behaviour in her every time he omits to say the password. She can now choose to not take part in the relationship in order to make him say it. He has learned that he has to pass a test, she has learned control.

[@BenderBendingRodrigue2]

Note that the one thing she wanted would have been said if it were true... she probably wants him to lie so she feels like she has him under control.

[@zeroisland7]

I cant believe how easy it is to let your partner know you love her! In the past it took fried chicken or roses to show you love her. Just say I love you and how excellent you are, does the job huh. I am giving you 1000 thanks for that great advice, it lovely!

[@phearz0r]

fantasy island, you are on it

[@zeroisland7]

@@phearz0r Yea, maybe. However, if the girl is more upset you did not say I love you vs a massage. I never had a mate complain she never got roses, but then never cheated on her where that was required. If words are more important then a positive action, I would say i was closer to reality. However in this mixed world, anything is possible.

[@crazypostalbob]

I use this same motto to be a good husband, and even with my dad before he died, not just for the sake of cheating. I leave nothing to be desired, nothing to regret, and, it turns out the more you try the more people usually change. In my case I have seen sometimes it works. My dad changed. I won't go over it all. My siblings all just whined. He died, some had not seen him in years. They are weighed with regret. I'm not. I showed him the first book I would give my daughter before she was born and lived his last year as if it was his last, and it ended up being his last. Nick of the time change, I got lucky. I do the same with my wife. Not to say ha ha later on if I leave, but to not have regret, and, because sometimes people do change. Damaged folks are damaged folks. And it turns out many people will just become worse and worse the more you neglect doing your best. A withered plant can become healthy. Only with the right treatment. I look at it as treat everyone the best you can. Do what you believe is right, and leave no regret later for being a jerk. My dad makes me believe it will eventually work in other areas too. I recently complained about my wife, I usually don't like to do so as I told you, beleive it or not, she's better than years ago. And this tactic is a large part of why.

[@chuppa1chups]

'Sup J. Mo. Your content is off the chain these days. (I know it's targeted at women, but just sayin'.) This seems like an inverse of and a preemptive strategy to what Rollo Tomassi calls "dread game"-and it is FAR healthier. It isn't a method of exploiting a power dynamic and instead embraces what relationships should be all about in the first place. I like this better.

[@JamesRDavenport]

Yeaaaah.....I don't do compliments. I don't receive them easily either. From both ends, it feels like weakness and sucking up to me 95% of time. If I sense you're buttering me up (even for innocent motivations) I'll totally resist, you get NOTHING gooddaySir! I cannot stand being manipulated by anyone. I feel sorry for any girl who's ever crushed on me, since they'll probably resort to compliments, and I'll ignore them losing interest the more they do it and they'll keep doing it to try and get my attention back. It's a sad cycle.