Adam Carolla - Coffee rant

Adam rants about coffee and coffee related problems in our society.

[@quonsetthehutt3105]

Grounds, for Divorce

[@1983Jacko]

Yesterday at work we got served the hazelnut tasting cofee instead of our usual plain coffee. Let's just say my day was crap after that. I had to go out and get some real stuff.

[@minkey2007]

"FUCK YOU HAVE A SNAPPLE" is the best crescendo of a rant ever

[@octopus59]

I can only assume that people who drink decaf do it for the laxative properties. There is no other possible reason.

[@1983Jacko]

I was once buying coffee for my co-worker, I asked him what he likes in it. He said tell them to put 5 creams and 5 sugars, in a medium sized coffee, which is like a small american cup. I was so embarrassed when I ordered it. But can you even imagine how that crap tastesÉ

[@TopJoo7]

Decaf coffee..seriously why even bother lol.

[@mocus1]

What's the point of it?

[@GX2Photography]

This sums up my feelings about coffee perfectly! LOVE THIS!

[@humanbraininrobotbod]

I can't tolerate caffeine any more (it's a medical thing), but I've been drinking coffee every morning for the last 40 years. I can't break the habit, so I drink decaf. However, no flavored coffee crap!

[@mocus1]

Milk is too thin, cream is better, but the French Vanilla is way too sweet as he said. The powdered creamer is for the birds.

[@agreen182]

This was the absolute pinnacle era of his show

[@FogHorn1911]

The bell means they are playing a game called, "what can't Adam Complain about" People give topics and Adam must go on a rant about that topic.

[@YoungNino2017]

reminds me of the first and last time I (accidentally) bought chicory coffee

[@1983Jacko]

I care about the ratio. I don't want to have to have the decaf in the morning because the ratio is messed up. Yea, I've had decaf late at night, but you don't want it when you wake up.

[@bayushizero]

I can't drink coffee black. Has to be blond and sweet, or no go. Though I once had a roommate who used to make a packet of cocoa with coffee instead of water or milk. Was great stuff.

[@JMB129]

The best part is where he basically says that you should drink coffee because you like the taste of coffee, and if you don't then don't drink it. I don't understand these people who put a 1/2 tsp of instant coffee into a 20 oz glass of hot water and then stir in 4 tsp of sugar. Those people consider regular strength coffee to be "strong" and they are fucking annoying.

[@justintrovrt494]

Carolla is my favorite new diva.

[@gneissblues2961]

brilliant!

[@JQAsCrustyNightSock]

If this guy was in as President we could finally get some shit done.

[@wcoleman99]

i remember being at a high school football game with my dad we went to get something to drink at halftime and he told them he wanted a coffee. i'll never forget the look on his face as he replied how bout black when they asked him if he wanted hazelnut or french vanilla for his coffee. then he laughed when he saw the look on my face when the lady went oh the poor man's coffee that'll be 75 cents

[@casualobserver2380]

I'm with Adam... Powdered creamer is horrible.

[@dark297]

I think the Holst music in the background is a nice touch.

[@zakur0hako]

Joey Diaz would sound tremendous reading this rant

[@SkullakaAce]

Interesting. I have come to a disagreement with Adam for once. I drink decaf because I love coffee so much that I got to drink it after a 10 hour shift. And I do love caffeine because I drink about 2-3 full size pots of coffee a day. So am I an asswipe. Who cares about the ratio? Why not have both.

[@1983Jacko]

Hahah true. However I do know a guy whose liver is gone, so he can't drink any more alcohol, so now he resorted to non-alcoholic beer. He loves the taste of beer.

[@mocus1]

"That little gauzy thing" is known as "a coffee filter bag". Please make a note of it.

[@captainphoenix]

That's why I drink Redbull; it tastes just as shitty no matter where I get it.

[@JMB129]

Wow that was some pretty impressive deductive reasoning there. I think he's just talking about people who tottally water down their coffee right off the bat, then add enough milk and sugar to turn it into a damn coffee flavored milkshake. That's what I got from it, but I guess if I was to sit there and pick apart every single word then yeah, you're right.

[@georgeschlaline6057]

Adam Corolla for President

[@unclepic1]

drink black for one week like i did. You will never turn back and never get a calorie out of it :)

[@bayushizero]

I don't drink coffee at all, now. It's bad for you if you have hypertension.

[@wgsuperstar7730]

Adam, where do you get your ideas from?

[@1983Jacko]

That's not the point, the ratio is way off.

[@22640cal]

Just drink black and dont add all that BS in it

[@mocus1]

Adam, the Hazelnut is good, but the Chocolate Raspberry is horrible

[@JMB129]

I'm not sure what your point was. If he doesn't like the taste of FAKE milk then he shouldn't be complaining about people who don't like the taste of real (not fake) coffee?

[@lgeubs]

Adam: "Who decided regular coffee vs decaf was a 50-50 relationship?" Right -- it's like elephant & rabbit stew (with one of each). That's an improper proportion.

[@HermanIngram]

Mars: Bringer of War. Gustav Holst

[@keeganshigh]

I just drink water and once in a while whisky

[@gregorys6074]

Some people should just drink hot chocolate.

[@feerstyy]

It does have caffeine so that works...

[@mocus1]

If they can't provide you with how you take it, they should say, "I hope you like it black".

[@mocus1]

Don't ya hate when the regular is empty and the decaf is full? Fuck sake's man that sucks.

[@JMB129]

I'm sick of adults who eat and drink as if they were 5 years old. These are the same bland, boring people who listen to crappy computerized music all night at a club then drink either a fruityass Monster beverage or a cup of light brown shaded sugar water. They might as well just keep breast feeding.

[@MS-jk6gj]

Absolute legend

[@BenCulture]

Adam is all about presenting First-World Problems as meoldramatic tragedies. The poor lad just can't find the quality of coffee he buys for his home.

[@WarbirdPhoenix]

I prefer my coffee(whispers)white. Most prefer their coffee(whispers)black. Just don't drink that racist coffee. But who cares about your whereabouts,east or west or north or south. Just shut your mouth now open it,you'll enjoy both we're hoping at least...

[@mocus1]

Decafe's sorta like alcohol free beer, right Adam? I mean, WTF's the point?

[@LuthorBratt]

I don't drink coffee, so Jimmy crack corn....

[@1983Jacko]

You just offended a cup of coffee sitting next to me.

[@3noom]

I could see your profile picture saying that and I LOL'd

[@InlandGreen]

i love hazelnut creamer #1

[@mocus1]

It's called a "coffee filter" Adam, not "a little gauzy thing"

[@tonymaradetto9377]

He's just whining like a child over a beverage.

[@phukit5456]

Sometimes he just says stupid shit to be funny.He can't be serious about this rant.

[@peartfaldo]

decaf coffee====Odouls

[@Polack_2023]

Ovens in Poland? What is this guy talking about? Some American version of history?

[@awesomeautistartist8628]

Treblinka. No, he didn't mean the Poles were responsible.

[@auntyuber5127]

You are not Starbucks material

[@fearindrive]

didnt really need the backing music but thanks for ruining this

[@dark297]

I think the Holst music in the background is a nice touch.