Addressing Criticism About My DID Coming Out

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[@micheller3251]

A lot of people see diagnosies as the illness/neurodivergence itself. One of my friend litterally told me "hope they don't find anything" when I told him I was gonna see a neuropsychologist. Like... Bruh. If they don't find anything it doesn't mean I don't have a problem. I'm getting help BECAUSE I already have problems 🙄 can I at least know wth is happening to me?

[@rainbowdashsailormoon6005]

Seriously though, there's even a psychiatrist I saw for additional testing that was convinced that my autism traits didn't appear until around the time I had gotten diagnosed 🤦 It just never occurred to my mother because she had (and some of which still has) a ton of undiagnosed stuff herself but I've had obvious traits basically my whole life.

[@xx-sof-xx]

Thank you, we've not been able to put this into words, but we agree 100% 💜

[@misscrackwood]

We are waiting to see a specialist for my 8yo because she has challenges with many things. I swear if they tell me she's neurotypical, I will cry because that would mean we won't get any tools to help her. We need tools, and she does too. And we need to find the good ones so she can thrive. I wish psychology was part of the public healthcare system in Canada, it can get so expensive so quickly :/

[@micheller3251]

@@misscrackwood Hope your 8yo gets the help she needs and deserve 🤍 In the case that she doesn't, don't lose hope. There are a lot of online ressources when you search for specific traits and challenges since most of them are not exclusive to one condition. They won't be perfect solutions, but you'd be surprised how small tips can make a huge difference on a daily basis.

[@rattlesthecrewmate]

@Michelle R I second this, and don't be afraid to join online communities for this as well!!!

[@jennafelice5159]

“It was dangerous for me to not know.” This hit so hard for me, it’s exactly how I felt about my PP-PTSD diagnosis.

[@glitteremm]

There is nothing wrong with celebrating finding out who you are! You should never shame someone for getting answers and celebrating that! You are valid and I love you! (To anyone who needs to hear it!)🎉🎂🎈

[@Merle.Jeromin]

word!

[@Jeszrox1]

Right! It can be so comforting knowing what’s going on with yourself

[@Xxbubbly10]

Ya I think the cake was cute it’s very pixie who cares what people think haters gonna hate also I’d bet none of these people that got mad have did lol

[@collin2304]

Exactly what I thought. Who tf thinks they can say someone cannot celebrate something you were in the dark about? The entitlement and audacity these delusional haters have is ridiculous

[@Neophoia]

as a person that has found it very helpful to have a name for a diagnosis to explain to others, and also find help, people seem to miss why some of us say "congrats on getting a diagnosis". It's about people taking your issues seriously, and being able to get help for the issues. I have friends that can't get diagnosis's because they somehow don't have "enough" of issues from the conditions, so they can't get help. I've had people be rude when they overheard me telling people of my diagnosis's and it freaking sucks, but I still prefer being able to tell a condition rather than just going "ok so my symptoms/issues/difficulties are XYZ". a name is so much easier.

[@Ahmgcats]

Right! It's not "congrats on being ill", it's "congrats on finding out how your illness can be treated more successfully."

[@Xxbubbly10]

Ya you have the mental illness no matter if you get diagnosed or not but if you get diagnosed you can understand things about yourself better and actually trying to heal and help yourself be more healthy

[@ChloeTheJean]

This is wild to me. I don't have DID so maybe I should stay in my lane. But it kinda seems seems people were saying "you don't seem as traumatized by your trauma as you ought to be"... which is.. bananas. When I got my autism diagnosis I was SO HAPPY. Despite learning that I was going to be dealing with the anxiety and exhaustion it can cause me for the rest of my life. Honestly, I'm trying to understand but the criticism strikes me as very "online". Like let's not make assumptions about a strangers feelings about their personal traumas??

[@pombie6377]

i got diagnosed with ADHD a couple of months after your DID diagnosis announcement and while i don't understand what DID itself is like, i DO understand the absolute relief and self-acceptance and the validation that comes with a diagnosis like that. it explains SOOO MUCH about myself and how i've behaved in the past. i'm not happy about my neurodevelopmental disorder but i am ECSTATIC about KNOWING about it! i can finally access proper care and live life with proper support. had i not been diagnosed my life honestly would look a lot different (and a lot worse), even less than a year later. it's honestly a fresh start, and anyone who can't understand how naming something is the first step in addressing it is, quite frankly, unable to empathize with people different from them. happy 1 year anniversary of your diagnosis! 🎉

[@abigaileldritch]

This!! Everything clicked when I found out I had adhd and I wasn’t just particularly broken of a person. Change my life.

[@byrnetdown6076]

yess exactly I found out I had ADHD a year ago myself and it's been absolutely life changing~ I give myself sm more room to function properly now than i ever did before when I was constantly beating myself up for being abnormal and high maintenance

[@sarahstarmonie]

It was such a relief for myself to be diagnosed with autism and adhd, finally knowing for sure what is up after a lifetime of struggle. I think our conditions, and especially your DID (and others like schizophrenia) are so stigmatised that it's shocking to some people that someone would be 'glad' to know that they have it. But like you said, knowing allows us to understand, heal and accommodate ourselves.

[@phirah79]

They wanted to say the post was too "branded" but like...that whole look is Pixie as a person. Pixie kind of pioneered this look and she lives it. This isn't a corporation that focus-grouped a color palette and hired graphic designers and marketers to put together a campaign. This is a real human who has shared her aesthetic and her life with us.

[@phirah79]

@@pixieee no, not the colors. I literally mean the "birthday-party-core" style that she talks about in this video...hence the cake. Someone else may have invented that look before but I personally saw done in this way for the first time from Pixie.

[@august1451]

Same with the self-dx hate. It's this idea that being diagnosed is only negative bc it "means" there's something "wrong" with you. When in reality it just means you can START getting help for this thing that clearly existed & affected you either way.

[@nikkiloren4009]

Like G.I Joe said "knowing is half the battle". Once you know what is wrong it is so much a relief and it is good to be happy about how to face what is it. I am proud of you and your journey. Much love!

[@ViktorErikFade]

Idk why but it makes me so happy to see that phrase /quote used in this way

[@fairesmashysmash]

You’re brave for talking about this so directly! I remember being really taken aback by the backlash to the cake thing - in retrospect it was part of me starting to question my own internal backlash/ideas about DID as a diagnosis, because while I was highly skeptical at the time about the disorder and it’s origins (like, within psychiatry as an institution, not within individuals who are diagnosed with it, if that makes sense - and I still have many criticisms of how psychiatry and psychology frame/handle things like complex trauma disorders, but that’s beside the point) the criticisms of you for something that was really understandable to me started to sound more and more to me like just… stigmatizing people for talking about their experiences in ways that others don’t relate to or identify with. There’s SO much of that kind of thing when it comes to all trauma disorders, and seeing it in play there prompted me to start thinking about how language and popular awareness of these things can evolve over time. My friends and I have had special cakes made for things like the anniversary of a survived s**c*d* attempt, a successful court case against an abuser, etc - and yes, for long-needed diagnoses of physical and/or mental health issues. How someone processes these big, complicated, potentially life-changing events and makes themselves feel okay or at peace with what they’re experiencing or have experienced is so, so personal. Not everyone is going to relate or understand and that’s okay. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a little bit of cake because times are hard and you deserve a treat! Who cares! About having ADHD traits and not ADHD - executive dysfunction takes many, MANY forms and can affect all areas of someone’s life, and it is also a symptom that’s shared across a lot of disorders, including ADHD, autism, and complex trauma disorders. The Venn diagram of these experiences has a larger area of overlap than a lot of people assume! It’s totally common to have markers consistent with ADHD with a complex trauma disorder and/or being on the spectrum. That’s a big part of what can make diagnosis so tricky and complicated! People who haven’t extensively dealt with these things sometimes don’t realize that the primary purpose of a psychiatric diagnosis isn’t just to slap a label on someone and categorize them into a neat little box. It’s to help them access the support and care they need to deal with the symptoms they’re experiencing. So when someone says they could have X, Y or Z, it’s not a matter of “collecting” or “shopping” for cool new labels. It’s about trying to find a framework for one’s experiences that gives them the best shot at recovering and living a life that’s fulfilling and good to them. For some people that can be relatively simple, for others it’s more complicated. TL;DR I find it funny that a lot of the people who criticized Pixie for “romanticizing” or “glorifying” getting a stigmatized and controversial mental health diagnosis are themselves often pushing very damaging, stigmatizing, and narrow ideas about what people who have trauma disorders should and shouldn’t do and how they should and shouldn’t talk about THEIR OWN experiences of things that have happened to THEM. It costs zero Canadian dollars to not project your own prejudice, shame, anger, etc onto other people when you see them talking about their own personal experiences in ways you don’t understand or relate to.

[@reay1864]

did creators get so much hate and ableism thrown at them and we just wanna say we r proud of yall. everyone seems to take everything in bad faith on the internet so its rly brave of yall to stick it out and continue to help all us systems with ur videos xx

[@tillydavvers]

Why do people manage to take EVERYTHING so negatively. Christ alive it's a cake and a fun thing to do. Ffffffff I am just floored at the nitpicking And a cake makes such good sense, like the whole everyone is a slice and some are big and some are small but they're all part of the same cake Wtf

[@gogocarachan]

People are always crying out that anything anyone with a mental illness does is "romanticizing mental illness" - so I guess us mentally ill people just have to be sad, somber, and serious all the time. *eye roll*

[@VIXI-MORI]

I think that getting a diagnosis means FINALLY finding out why you've been struggling for so long, and that is without a doubt something to celebrate. Not only do you learn about why you behave a certain way/do certain things, but also how you can care for yourself. Had I gotten a diagnosis for my OCD when I was in middle school, I wouldn't have had to struggle with it all by myself and would have understood what was going on with me. That cake looks delicious, and I 100% respect you for looking at your diagnosis as a positive thing. You're amazing, Pixie!! 🌈💗🦄

[@odetosilas]

You deserve to celebrate getting the answer to a question you’ve been asking all your life ♡ all the love to you all! You definitely earned the cake 🎂

[@moriarty8668]

Your videos are kind of a lifesaver, I'm currently struggling with the DID stigma and how isolating it is to be pressured into never talking about my diagnosis (i.e. one of the most significant, all-encompassing things happening in my life right now). I can't begin to tell you how much it's helped to see someone else out there who has this, and know I'm not completely alone out there

[@Sdfckz]

literally yes!!! getting diagnosed with PTSD is so fucking retraumatizing, the dreams you start having all the time again and having to painstakingly think of your entire timeline and verbalize it to strangers you dont know.....thank u for talking about this, i was like a raw shell of a person when i was getting my diagnosis. u deserve a goddamn cake after that ffs. who are they to shame you for celebrating your life in a time of such pain?

[@lux-qp5mo]

I wish mental healthcare was more trauma informed. A lot of the processes are incredibly retraumatizing. They’ll make you relive your trauma just to give you treatment when it could be handled more sensitively and diagnosed through other means…

[@Spookdog]

I'm ngl I'm kinda scared to try to get a cptsd diagnosis for this reason. it's soo hard for me to open up about that stuff without crying and mentally shutting down lmfao. I might just like write stuff down on a paper and give it to the psychologist and be like "I am not saying this out loud to you so pls just read it ok thx"

[@Sdfckz]

@@Spookdog ideally you get to know the person whos diagnosing you beforehand, so youre not just confiding in a complete stranger. they arent supposed to force you to talk about anything if youre not ready to. i was diagnosed in a medical hospital and the entire process was really rushed and was done in front of a big group of people (other psychiatrists or med students? i cant remember.) it doesnt usually go like that lol :( ideally its a slower process to make it as easy and comfortable as possible. still, can be scary and uncomfortable, like recovery often is. change is hard but its worth it in the end

[@Spookdog]

@@Sdfckz ohh ok, I'll be sure to find a good psychiatrist before getting into the diagnosis stuff hopefully lol. I had a diagnosis like that where I had never met those ppl before and it was pretty rushed and for some reason my parents were part of the evaluation (don't remember if I was 17 or 18 at the time but like ???) and I ended up with a misdiagnosis :( this all happened like within 1 or 2 days. do not want that experience again.

[@alex_jasa]

You've really helped me discover my sparkly, pink, hyper-feminine part of myself and I'm so very glad for that. I've been watching your videos for years now, I watched them the most when I was just developing as a person and when my fashion style was just developing and I was so confused at first, because I adored you and your whole lifestyle, but I also loved the complete opposite of the spectrum?? When you publicly announced Jerrick's existence, some of the parts in my brain just kind of clicked and helped me a lot. I can feel both ways at the same time! Here you are, a hyper-feminine, pastel, rainbow, confetti, sparkles loving person and at the same time, a person with a vastly different style. In your case, it is DID, but you're still you. I do not have DID, you as a person (or DID system), in your own way helped me so much in my journey of self discovery and I really wanted to let you know about that. This is a big thank you

[@harkethearchivist]

hi Jillian and co, I’m very late to this video and also a new viewer, but thank you for sharing this. Your explanation about how painful and scary not knowing is hit really close to home, and as a newly diagnosed system, we’re definitely feeling the ripple effect of that grief in hindsight. So many years of so many experiences that make so much more sense now. It’s so hard to explain to people who don’t have DID/OSDD. It’s hard to explain to ourselves sometimes. But hearing you say it was comforting. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable despite how shitty people can be. I’m glad we found you

[@xcherrykinsx]

as someone who lived in such confusion and fear and anger until i received my informal autism dx, getting a cake to celebrate the knowing made SO MUCH SENSE to me!! truly something i hope to do as well if i can ever manage to get a formal dx ;;

[@archibald_dw]

I think people commonly misunderstand how relief after finding out the source of your symptoms isn't saying "Yay! I have a horribly painful disorder that causes me difficulty in day-to-day functioning." The reason why some people celebrate psychological diagnosis is that having a diagnosis makes it much easier to get treated for one's symptoms. Because treatment for every condition is different, it's really hard to treat something when you don't even know what you have. Borderline Personality Disorder is the worst, & I really wish I didn't have it. But I did feel relief when I was diagnosed. Because as a result of being previously misdiagnosed, I had spent years in a form of therapy that is ineffective for my condition. But now that I know my correct diagnosis, I'm in a form of therapy that was invented for my condition. And it's made it easier to find a medication regimen that works for me. (There is no medication made specifically for BPD. But medications like anti-psychotics & mood stabilizers can help.) It's so much easier now that I have access to treatments that have shown to be effective for my condition, instead of undergoing treatments made for an entirely different condition & then wondering why they were ineffective for me.

[@gabbzziiee]

YES! Being diagnosed is no longer “there’s something wrong with me and I don’t know what to do”, it becomes “there’s others like me and there’s ways to help me”

[@Logan-ws1dd]

My sister got diagnosed with CRPS a few months back. It’s a horrible, painful disease that usually starts due to nerve injury. My father has been disabled with the same disease for 25 years. It’s a cruel disease which no one would wish their worst enemy yet, we were so excited to find this out. My sister sprained her ankle and had swelling and pain for an entire year. It was a breath of fresh air to finally know what was happening. It’s a horrible disease but knowing what it is was only the first step of getting better. I was so happy to see you celebrating it. You struggled for so long I think a cake is just fine. Fuck those incels who for some reason obsess over your every move

[@saltyw0rm]

Pixie!!! i’ve been watching and keeping up with you for years, and it’s been beautiful seeing you grow and find yourself (and all of your parts of course) Getting a DID diagnosis is totally means to celebrate! and I’m really glad you could find this out about yourself-it sets you on a whole new path of healing 💕 ppl who were criticizing you probably don’t know the relief of FINALLY finding out what’s wrong with you, what is causing so many problems in your life. living with undiagnosed mental illness can really be hell!

[@kassiaschannel101]

maybe it's just because I'm also mentally ill, but I definitely saw the while announcement more as celebrating finally finding out what's wrong? celebrating finally having a name and an explanation for everything. I didn't see it as celebrating the trauma or anything like that.

[@kittenishly]

BIRTHDAYCORE YES I LOVE IT 💖 You always handle things with grace. It’s wonderful that your diagnosis has been able to provide you with clarity and help that you needed. You most definitely deserved cake. 🎂 you and your rainbowness just makes me smile 🌈

[@Yellochi]

ah man I wish I'd thought about getting a cake when I got my autism diagnosis! I felt such a sense of intense relief I FINALLY got a diagnosis that explained years of hardships, pain and confusion (after already having been diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety). I definitely understand wanting to celebrate the diagnosis (even though yes it is different from DID of course)! I personally saw nothing wrong with the way you announced your diagnosis and got what you meant. The way you explained in this video was super well done :). Hope there won't be too much backlash, which, I already feel so bad for you having to deal with that on TOP of your diagnosis? People don't understand there's a person (or in this case, multiple, haha!) behind the screen! Anyway lots of love

[@mason7609]

Hi pixie

[@echoanddandelion8890]

you brought up the topic of confetti club merch and it got me thinkin about like, how cute would it be if you sold a reversible pixie and villainy plushie with the makeup looks from your drag branding

[@SBNunez]

I'm glad you're doing so much better! I have noticed you've been a lot more happy since finding out your diagnosis. There will always be trolls, but remember everyone that supports you will always have your back!

[@Pixielocks]

🥺🥺🥺🌈💕💖🌷✨☘️🌤

[@Rayslasagne]

Only just started watching this but I wanted to share my thoughts because I feel quite strongly about it. I grew up struggling SO MUCH with my maths, it was honestly a constant struggle throughout school, I cried over it so many, many times, then once I got to uni I finally found out about dyscalculia and got a diagnosis with it. Turns out my dyscalculia is actually pretty bad, I'm honestly shocked I was never tested for it before uni, but finding out I had it was such a huge relief, like all this time, that's what it was, I finally had a word for it! I know it's not exactly comparable to DID but I absolutely relate and understand why you would want to celebrate getting diagnosed. I'm currently in the process of getting properly diagnosed with ADHD and I think I might have to get a cake for when I finally get that sorted too haha. I wonder if it's more a case that people don't understand how validating and comforting it can be to finally have an answer to what's going on. Plus getting a mental health related diagnosis usually means that things are potentially going to start improving since you're finally being able to get access to the specific kind of help you need.

[@helenm1085]

I had a similar feeling when I got an autism diagnosis that I really wanted to tell people to explain myself! And to share the good news that I knew myself better! And to help anyone else who was feeling the stigma of a diagnosis to feel less alone! It seemed really important for me to share that with everyone!! I love the idea of a cake to do that! My partner got me ice cream and my dad bought me a really nice big mango 🥭 to celebrate :~)

[@BAKAROID]

🌈 I haven't gotten a proper diagnosis yet, but I'm. Like 98% sure that I have ADHD or/and autism, and while I kind of went through the 5 stages of grief realising it, it also was a huge relief to know there were reasons for the way I was. Nothing wrong with celebrating learning more about yourself and being able to help yourself better with that information ! It's also been so enlightening to hear you talk about DID through you, so I'm glad you chose to speak it plainly from the beginning.

[@celestestellatram1467]

I think what a lot of people fail to realize, is that a mental health diagnosis means the start of recovery and healing. Unlike a physical illness whose diagnosis can mean the start of painful experiences and potentially incoming death, a mental health diagnosis can only mean things are gonna get better from there as you can finally begin treatment. If you don't like people celebrating getting answers, understanding where years of suffering come from and starting their healing journey, that's a you problem.

[@charissadubin9355]

Well said!

[@nyctolita2429]

Anyone who doesn't understand the relief of knowing, and being able to put words to, what's "wrong" with you, is extremely privileged and lucky. I'm waiting for an autism assessment, and have been for nearly a year. Once I receive it, I can begin the process of understanding and accepting myself, and reframing all my difficult experiences through that lens. It's extremely ignorant and foolish of people to have criticised you for this, and I'm so sorry.

[@picklegurrl]

As someone who has a lot of medical diagnoses and problems, I literally cannot understand the backlash. People are always so jarred when I make fun of or seem happy about my heart condition but like??? I'm the one that has to live with it, I'm the one that has to deal with the cons, and believe me I know the very real and very scary reality of my situation, just like you. You're the one facing this, if you want to be happy and joke and try to handle it in a silly way in such a shitty time literally who on earth has a right to be offended? People like that just want you to hate and be sad you're not fitting into the "norm", instead of recognizing you're trying to cope with a reality that will be with you FOREVER. Best of luck love

[@stevieuhh]

Time to bake you a “CONGRATS ON BEING BASED” cake 🎂

[@Pixielocks]

LOL AWWWEEEE I LOVE U

[@1822romantic]

yo she is farrrrrrrr from based wtf lol

[@glamrockbard]

@@1822romantic yo mama

[@xXxemokittycupcakexX]

I was super relieved to find out I was autistic, among other things since If I did not have my diagnosis and the others I would be beyond confused why the hell I am the way I am, I can not read people socially to save my life, I literally got myself in danger cause I could not it was uh not great. So celebrating knowing more and getting answers is so valid to me, I think alot of people who have not tried living in the chaos of undiagnosed neurodivergence and the problems and confusion that comes with it can have a very hard time understanding how it can be good but trust me it is so helpful, it personally saved my life.

[@blythe9631]

As someone who found such deep relief in finally getting diagnosed with the stuff going on with me, the cake totally made sense. The backlash was/is so silly

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

Exactly! It was so clear why a cake makes sense!

[@BaileySuttonMusic]

Claps to you for this one! Getting a diagnosis like this and also being a person who is very much online has to be extremely challenging. I think its easy to get caught up in addressing things or doing things in the perfect way, but there is never really any one perfect way. You are allowed to exist and be true to yourself in this messy world just like the rest of us 👍

[@PeachPepsi]

I thought you getting the cake was a great way to reclaim your diagnosis and understanding yourself better. I thought it was so great for you and I know I'd love that if a personal friend of mine got one for themselves.

[@CourageousGoldfish]

Did you know there’s a clip of you guys from your MCR vlog that’s included at the end of Dan Howell’s new stage show?? I was like omg I think that’s the Pixie system!

[@puppypower222]

like no, autism isn't caused by trauma like DID is, but it almost always comes with trauma and is also often hard to deal with, it's very much judged in social settings etc but it was still so exciting and such a relief for me to get diagnosed so i understand how you feel (to an extent) and why you did what you did

[@StrawbunnySystem]

I personally love that you celebrated your diagnosis- we went through ours at around the same time, and it’s honestly one of the most emotional but not traumatic experiences to ever happen to us. We might celebrate the anniversary of our system discovery, maybe. It is something to be happy about. I also want to celebrate my DID. I know it must really bother some people, but I don’t live my life for those people. I love my DID, despite what caused it. My DID is a love letter from myself, to myself. It’s what helped me survive until this point and it’s given me a closer support system than most ever get. Celebrating my DID every damn day because it’s the thing that enabled me to wake up in the morning yknow what I mean?

[@LoonyHalfBlood]

I remember when my doctor finally validated that I have depression and anxiety. I cried but not because I didn't want to be diagnosed but because it finally felt like someone else saw that what I go through was not just something to wave off. I celebrated by myself with a kids meal from McDonald's, like giving my inner child a gift. I totally understood your diagnosis cake it's so weird to me when people don't get it. It's the first step you're given to feeling like you have a grip on your own brain, it's something to celebrate 💕

[@carcar7982]

when i finally had a breakthrough in therapy that i had ptsd it was the biggest relief!!!! i felt so much better than before, feeling like my life was spiraling and i didn't know why. i hope 2023 is better for you! good luck

[@foeyyz]

I think a lot of people dont understand that not knowing whats wrong is almost worst than the symptoms sometimes. I felt my entire childhoods like something was wrong and different about me. I felt so lost and confused all the time. When i realized the reason for that was me being autistic, all the pieces fell into place. Suddenly i had Explanations! I felt validated! And yeah i spent over $1000 getting my diagnoses but it wa sso worth it to be able to actually accommodate myself. I actually asked my friends to get me a cake but the timing was so off it didnt happen 😭 maybe ill get one on the one year anniversary :3

[@neetidols]

wait i thought it was a diagnostic impression? no shade real question

[@magicalbeancosplay]

In Canada they operate more or less the same, a diagnostic impression simply means the doctors expert impression, which is formulated after a long process of diagnostic tools and interviews. It goes on your medical record the same way and is used to help guide treatment options the same :) It also informs the final diagnosis! (pls correct me if I am miss-speaking but this is what I know as a psychology graduate!)

[@saratheweird4171]

@@magicalbeancosplay but Pixie herself has said it in her words it is not a diagnosis (taken from the reintroducing ourselves vid from a year ago), but now she's going around acting the two are the same thing all along? Oof.

[@marxie1999]

Not finished watching yet but I guess I’m still confused why people are policing how you choose to tell others about your own diagnosis? I guess everyone is free to think somethings are in bad taste-I don’t even think the cake was in poor taste, more tongue in cheek/gallows humor- but good people do things that are in bad taste all the time?? It doesn’t mean anyone is a bad person, they just did something that ~you~, ~personally~, did not like

[@NamiNaeko]

I'm proud of you and proud of your system for willing to share your journey and your life. No matter what we love you ❤️

[@AlreadyFallenOut3]

I was so confused with the backlash 😭 You're the sweetest youtuber and I understand you must have been relieved yet shocked to get your diagnosis which is why you got your cake. When I got diagnosed with autism it was shocking but also a bit relieving that I finally had answers for what had been bothering me for years. I hope you're feeling okay and be happy! ❤️

[@phirah79]

My situation is different but I think it helps me understand where you are coming from. I have fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed several years ago. At the time I knew there was something very wrong with me but doctors wanted to blame it on my period or on being fat. Finally I had a physical therapist acknowledged my pain and say "no that's not normal, it's not just weight". I thought that I would be sad when I was diagnosed and I was a little because there is no cure but I was actually really happy because finally I had a reason for everything I was going through. It felt validating and empowering. Now I can make the right choices for me and find treatments and take care of myself. I could have totally made myself a happy fibromyalgia diagnosis cake. And it wouldn't be because I'm happy about the pain or the things I can no longer do it would be because it's good to get to know yourself better. I think what you did was great and probably helped other people with similar disorders to feel less stigmatized and less alone. Many people want us to hide our disorders or illnesses or mental health issues (I have mental illness too) but screw that. Hiding just makes all of us more alone and more ashamed.

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

👏👏👏

[@a-ghost-named-Anna]

I think people just don’t want anyone to romanticize DID. It’s just that having DID is not a good thing. I liked the cake, but I see the other side. It’s just the not liking the being happy about having a disorder which makes people very unhappy. Anyhoo! Lots of love from your homeland!

[@a-ghost-named-Anna]

Also if you could get to final fusion. Would you do it?

[@jillsarah7356]

It's really sad how many people judge others to try to make themselves feel better! They're projecting. You all are doing great

[@quinn5816]

The key word on that cake was “diagnosis” and that was obvious to me the whole time. It’s so hard to start the healing journey when you don’t even know what’s causing the symptoms. I can’t wait for the day I Finally Know What Is Wrong With Me™️, maybe I’ll get a cake too! 💖

[@chaotickidltd]

So so so much love pixie,,, I don’t understand why people have to have an opinion or comment on everything everyone does 💖💖💖

[@nghgngh7436]

ridiculous how people feel the need to control your self expression about YOUR diagnosis CELEBRATE WHO YOU ARE !!! 💖

[@tenshiefox713]

I think people who have any mental illness or is around people who do will understand how hard it can be to be open about it and being happy you finally have an answer and know where to start to heal and how to do it, i would personally celebrate the same way, i am 24 years old and i been struggling so hard everyday the older i get the harder it gets but unfortunately i dont have the money to be able to get professional help although i been collecting information for BPD because im like 90% sure i have BPD (not self diagnosing) i just sadly do not have money and live in a very small city in Mexico where nobody really even knows or specialize in this type of mental illnesses, so sadly i gotta hang in a bit more but honestly anyone should be able to celebrate that they finally have an answer to what they been struggling their whole lives even, i totally support this, i think people are just celebrating the relief of knowing where to start to have a healthier n happier life 💖

[@vex556]

As an alter of a diagnosed system that also collectively have a bachelors degree in psychology (specifically in the development and treatment of trauma/Complex-ptsd), i know A Lot about how DID forms, both from our collective experiences and from a clinical level in terms of what recent studies have shown. The glimpse of you that we see on KZbin is obviously not enough to know what your life experiences are, or whether your supportive parents were the ones you lived with throughout your childhood. But being diagnosed with DID has some SERIOUS implications about the environment that you spent your early life in. It is commonly understood that DID is caused by prolonged and severe childhood abuse and/or neglect. It is a dissociative and attachment based disorder, so most commonly the abuse is committed by the child’s immediate caretakers, and must be a series of repeated traumas to actually cause DID. It is a serious disorder. It’s not light or jovial. It is not something we would “announce on Facebook” the way we came out on Facebook as queer in high school. When we became self aware, it meant realizing that some of the people I thought were closest to me through my childhood were actually our biggest abusers. For the APNs (apparently normal parts) who weren’t aware of the trauma, it meant experiencing the waves of grief when we finally heard all the horrific things our alters experienced on our behalf as a young person. And even now that we’re self aware and literally have a degree in it, we still have days where our trauma-holders can’t even get out of bed or walk due to chronic pain and fatigue from years of living through severe abuse and being in a constant state of fight or flight. People aren’t mad that you’re sharing the diagnosis, people are shocked by the lighthearted way you’re talking about it. Every system of course deserves to heal (we feel happy much of the time these days and have a wonderful life now), but sharing our DID diagnosis is and will always be as heavy as it is joyous. It indicates the multiplicity within us (a wonderful thing), but also indicates some really horrific truths about the people and environment that raised us. Basically, all I’m saying is that it’s actually quite misrepresentative, dangerous and harmful to both yourself and the grater community to equate sharing your DID diagnosis to coming out as gay. It’s tone deaf, and perhaps you aren’t yet fully aware of your own experiences (not uncommon for systems), but the way you talk about DID in relation to family and your childhood is confusing and concerning. People are upset because your content is creating a lot of confusing and harmful misconceptions due to your own lack of understanding about the disorder.

[@jodie12347]

I have been suffering from undiagnosed chronic pain for over 10 years. With the amount ive been in an out of the drs I'd be celebrating too if i got a diagnosis as well. Mainly because it would be so relieving to know its not just in my head

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

This! I hope you get listened to and get answers soon, friend!

[@karak962]

In a very similar situation (only 5 years tho) wishing you the best!!! ♡♡♡

[@MyriadLad]

As I’m watching this I can very much relate to some of the relief and realization of getting an official diagnosis that just clicks once you find out. When I was thirteen and got diagnosed with major depressive disorder I was shocked but it made sense and it helped a little bit with finding help. And with psychiatrists struggling to diagnose specific things due to a lot of comorbidity, getting that clarity helps a lot. I also view diagnoses as a neutral thing that can be positive depending on the person. Cuz it’s not like you get the symptoms with the diagnosis! So yeah I can understand and relate to the situation a lot. I hope you are doing well and you look fabulous Pixie! 🎉💖🌸

[@stinkyybugg]

Getting diagnosed is a crazy experience. I waited forever cause of covid like a year and half. And of course hours of testing on top of that then waiting for the results. No matter what comes of the diagnosis it is a so much to deal with. I’m sorry you were criticized for how you decided to handle telling the world. I’ve been following you for years. I will always be a supporter.

[@corinnevessey4745]

Sending so much love and support. Thank you for sharing and also wishing you softness in 2023

[@sleepcraft7896]

after fighting for more than 2 years just to get diagnosed with an incurable progressive physical disorder: sometimes diagnoses are Not bad news!! I needed answers and I needed help and I literally celebrated with fancy dinner for finally getting diagnosed after fighting hard with doctors. so I think celebrating a DID diagnosis is very okay since it's already such a confusing disorder to have by our experience

[@sproutgarden_]

I will absolutely be getting a cake for my EDS diagnosis cos understanding why you feel like garbage and being listened to is worth being celebrated 💕💕💕

[@nicsequalini8545]

I think the people criticising your choice to share this are really taking this in bad faith and you shouldn't let that get to you. The people who actually know how hard and retraumatising it is to get a diagnosis get where you are coming from. please keep being unapologetically rainbow 💖

[@landimonk]

Getting a diagnose of anything is really hard to get, since I know from personal experience. But boy, does it feel good to finally get recognised that something is wrong and is worth celebrating that you now have a course of action rather than floundering.

[@tayisgrose]

i was just diagnosed with adhd AND autism! i celebrated too! nothing wrong with it at all. i felt the same exact way as you when i got diagnosed! my life feels way more better and positive

[@gryrabild]

This drama was always so unnecessary. I am so pro-diagnosis cake. Getting diagnosed with autism has been one of the biggest events of my life and really really really changed my life for the better. I damn wish I had gotten myself a diagnosis cake!

[@hp6964]

This is how I felt when I finally found out that I had BPD. It’s so sad but also so nice to be able to finally relate to something completely (even if it’s such a misunderstood and isolating disorder, least I finally know). Thank you for being you ❤️

[@honey5928]

the backlash was so wild to me because the second that i saw it i was like oh i am ABSOLUTELY doing this when i get diagnosed. we have pretty similar aesthetics and im definitely not planning on toning any of that down when i post about it. to me it looks just like a really good way to be open about a diagnosis and not having to do the emotional labor of explaining it over and over to everyone.

[@instantnoodle8298]

honestly you really did deserve that cake and you honestly deserve much more cake even, for handling everything you have dealt with this past year, the criticism, the stalking, the hate you know all of the things you don't openly share, yeah, you deserve all of the cake in world!!😤💪🏻✨ i have watched you since forever ago and i'm so proud of how far you've come!! 💕💕💕

[@itlpwncess]

Having autism isnt just having struggles w social cues… i am autistic and i feel like mental illnesses / disabilities are so glamourized and « normalized » on social medias ; a lot of ppl are actually decredebilizing it nowadays and its just so draining. :/

[@marshmallowmilkk9088]

Omg I feel the same. I’ve cried because my autism has ruined possible friendships and social events, makes me rely on hyperfixations or a favorite person for happiness, and being mocked for “speaking abnormally”. Are people forgetting how autistic people get overstimulated over sounds and textures? Having autism belittled to social cues is so insulting.

[@itlpwncess]

@@marshmallowmilkk9088 i totally get it ! Thank u for sharing your struggles , I also feel like my autism is ruining a lot in my daily life and I feel like everyone is forgetting that it’s a disability … as I said below it’s not just feeling weird or quirky or different , struggling with social cues , even if it’s a spectrum , it’s called a disability for a reason . It’s super hard to live w autism :(

[@byakuyatogami2905]

The thing about diagnoses like that is the person who has the illness already knows there's something going on with them. Even if to others it's big devastating news, to the person receiving the diagnosis it can be a relief "omg I'm not just faking it there's a real condition here!". That's how I felt when I was told I had autism and depression and anxiety (and a lot of other things I am very mentally not together but I'm glad I got to learn it instead of just being terrified not knowing what was wrong with me)

[@bellajenkins5669]

I’m so so proud of you pixie! Do you have any idea how brave you’ve been through this journey? :)

[@Pixielocks]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@glitterpunk6]

I think u were super brave for speaking out about your diagnosis and your journey! Pixie gang you are all so inspiring!

[@rainbowdashsailormoon6005]

This is different but I got diagnosed a few months ago with Ehlers danlos which literally ruined two things I was trying to do as a career and in general it's a literal nightmare, but even then I still celebrated getting diagnosed because I went 23 years having absolutely no idea what was going on or why. I was met with some criticism for that and it made some people including doctors think I don't have it, until they then realise that I go well above the minimum criteria for specifically HEDS. Like why is celebrating seen as negative? It's strait up helped my mental health and shifted myself to allowing myself to be less harsh about my body.

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

People really dont understand the relief that can come from finally getting some answers and clarity to lots of confusion! For many it can for sure be something to celebrate! My mum and me were cackling laughing filling out my autism diagnosis forms because it was so ridicilous how we had missed these very obvious things for 20 years! It was a huge "ooooooooh! Thaaaat explain sooooo much!" moment!

[@AmieOkami]

I got diagnosed with ADHD also about a year ago, and I can sympathize with so much of this! Just the utter relief of knowing that you CAN get better and there is a word for how you're feeling AND there are others like you is so exhilarating. I previously thought I was broken, and I would cry at 3am because I needed to do a school assignment but just couldn't get myself to do it. I had decided that I must be just a selfish person because when people would ask me to do things I don't do them, even though I can do other things. It broke my heart but I didn't have any other logical explanation for it. At least for me, my diagnosis was hope and after 20-something years of struggling and feeling hopeless that feels so, so exciting. I obviously wish I didn't have to be 200 coping mechanisms in a trench coat just to do basic human tasks, but my diagnosis allowed me to find the tools to get those 200 coping mechanisms! Woohoo!

[@Anthony-uy5bj]

this is such a lovely, hopeful (and SO well put together) video, thank so much for sharing these aspects of your life 💖🎂

[@QueenFiend]

im sorry that people have given you a hard time. its your diagnosis and you should be able to do what you want with that information. If you want a cake, you get that damn cake!

[@indiamae3599]

I've been following you for years, I am glad that this diagnosis has helped you gain more control in your life and in relationships, I pray you heal and just get better and better 🙏🏻❤

[@AngelicPrettySimp]

You are literally just living your life and not being negative about DID people just want you to be like “OH WOWE IS ME IM SUFFERING” you don’t need to show your suffering. You choose which parts of your mental health conditions you want online and there’s nothing wrong with only focusing on the positive

[@JadeHasProblems]

So many people have been digging for things to be critical about for so long, it to me feels like they purposefully misunderstood meaning. I was so confused when the accusations came out. I appreciate you all being honest and open about what you’re comfortable and safe sharing. You all bring me so much joy, and i am so glad that you guys have answers and are able to celebrate the wins. A diagnosis is a win, getting through all of the hard parts of getting diagnosed is a win. You are such a strong team. You deserved cake, still do ❤️❤️

[@Craftyfox_]

I honestly didn’t understand why anyone had a problem with it. I thought it was adorable! Getting a diagnosis means finally understanding yourself and why you’ve struggled so long, it’s inherently something to celebrate in my opinion since it’s a step towards healing.

[@PLASTIPON]

21:20 put your assets in a Google drive! You can access them from any device so long as you can log in. I have separate emails for organizing things like this and it helps to have one place to find your stuff that isn't so fragile (like stored in a computer/1 device)

[@andersonsystem2]

Having DID sucks it’s definitely nothing to celebrate. We have DID abd it sucks ass and we are working on the shame of having this disorder there is nothing sexy about this shit. We don’t wish this on anyone.

[@sanitycaycay2507]

It is different for everyone. Getting a diagnosis can be a relief to lots of people even if the diagnosis is something negative, because finally they know what is wrong, and if it's possible to treat it.

[@sherickoos]

Hi Pixie! I am so glad you are all doing well on your healing journey. I do not think getting a cake was a bad thing. I personally believe a cake was part of processing the diagnosis and the beginning of the healing journey. Like Jill said, it was a relief to finally understand what was happening. There is nothing wrong with celebrating clarity and relief. The diagnosis helped you understand what steps to take to move forward. Your journey may not be easy but keep taking those steps. People might disagree with which direction you go but it is none of their business. This is not their healing journey it is your system's journey. Continue to take care and please know that there are people on the internet who are here to support you. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@PetiteTomoyoChan]

"Everything in my house is rainbow, it's because I'm mentally ill" Oh same Pixie, s a m e .

[@jojo_jm]

I think people have this misunderstanding with all diagnosis stuff...like the diagnosis is not the problem, it's the answer to so many questions that piled up for so long!! If I ever get through the wait-list for provincially covered autism assessment, I will 100% be getting an autism cake... I should have gotten an ADHD cake 😅 Love youuuuu ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈

[@BlueLemons_96]

I think it was your video that made me decide I was gonna go get a cake because I realized I was trans. Which is to say, it had a really positive impact on me, despite me not having DID. Thank you for being so forthright and doing what you can to break the stigma against complex mental illness. ❤

[@craftyhobbit7623]

You have the right to try and make yourself as happy and comfortable with your DID as you can. Goodness, I don't know the traumas that you had to go through to develop the condition, and can't imagine the anxiety that it has caused you but you need to do what you can to manage it and if these videos and discussion help you to stabilize yourself then it is something that you need to do.

[@raebamber8853]

i haven't watched your content in some time but when you were discussing that your DID was always there and now you just have a name for it, i was like "oh my g-d, i get it". i was diagnosed with autism at a very young age, before i could really put memories together, so finding out when i was like fifteen(?) that i had that diagnosis, i was just like "OHHHH NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE!" i wasn't celebrating the fact that i knew i was autistic, i was celebrating the fact that everything about me, my obsessive nature, my avoidance, my occasional empathy struggles, now made sense. you're a delight as always pixie and i am so thrilled for you that things have only improved since your diagnosis

[@ceairamarine779]

A diagnosis is absolutely something to celebrate! It's a stepping stone to getting help, I've been trying to get one for my mental health because I'm really really struggling and a therapist suspected I had OCD and pushed me to try and get a diagnosis but my GP just threw medication at me 💀 love you pixie!!!

[@manicantsettleonausername6789]

This was a delightful video, despite the somewhat 'negative' topic (aka getting criticised and addressing the criticism). For me getting diagnosed with autism really clarified a lot of things and was really good for my confidence because I was no longer doubting myself all the time cause I finally had something to attribute my 'oddities' to, and found a community of people I could relate to! It made me understand myself so much better. For me personally, getting a diagnosis was something worth celebrating, even if there were hard parts to it like you describe in this video. The way I see it, I am autistic, and I was already autistic before the diagnosis, so the diagnosis didn't change anything about me, other than that I and others understood myself better. I can see how to people it may be shocking to be 'happily' diagnosed/see others be diagnosed with a severe trauma disorder that's also heavily stigmatised, and that having DID isn't something worth celebrating (in the sense that it's caused by severe childhood trauma, exactly like you said in the video), but there's a big difference between celebrating having a disorder, and celebrating finally having a diagnosis for your disorder. Was your original post unnuanced? Yes. Was it your sole responsibility to provide this nuance to the internet? I don't think so. Yes, clarifying the difference would've definitely helped, but people who are chronically online and attack everything that doesn't have a million disclaimers about things that should be obvious but aren't are also not in the right. People need to learn to think critically and see nuance for themselves rather than assume its absence if it's not perfectly presented to them on a platter in the form of an extensive disclaimer. I think you did amazingly in explaining everything in this video!

[@lilhonor5425]

As someone who has been diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses I totally get the cake thing. Getting a diagnosis is the first step in getting better. It also can be a huge relief. I got diagnosed with OCD this year which I’ve probably been living with undiagnosed for at least ten years.

[@neulasia]

i'm autistic myself, and this whole time i've been wondering how they ruled that out, because hello special interests gurl. :D i always assumed you were, too, since finding the channel years ago. i don't have DID (i think..?) but being autistic definitely got some trauma, especially being dg'd at 38, and i can see similar patterns of dissociation in my psyche, so it's fascinating to me how it all works. i think social masking is a kind of facet of it, like "who was that person just now?" and there are times when i'm out there among people with nothing but the ol' reptile brain on... so i've never had to question if DID is a thing because why wouldn't it be. brains are weird like that. i guess my trauma happened at a later stage where the brain was developed enough to utilize other means of coping than actually splitting, but the same mechanism exists to some degree. the whole 'diagnosis bad' way of thinking is so strange. even doctors often see it that way, whereas to most people having answers is a huge relief compared to not knowing. you don't get dg'd to have the thing, otherwise who would ever see a doctor? you do it for knowledge and validation. people need to live & let live a little more.

[@alishac5096]

Being diagnosed really is like getting a personal toolkit from professionals to begin the process of unwinding your mental processes and better understand yourself. It’s so lovely to have validation and resources, I hope that more medical professionals find channels like this and comments like ours. (I’m self diagnosed Autistic working towards a screening, but healthcare sux) It really isn’t the label that’s the problem. For many conditions it’s the stigma and the lack of accommodations and understanding that impacts most people negatively. I am glad we have this little online community of support and understanding.

[@AnimeFreak-dn6zt]

Nothing wrong with showing the world who you are because someone might be struggling and need guidance. I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder, depression disorder, generalized social anxiety, insomnia, have panic/anxiety attacks, very bad nerves, suicidal at times and suicidal thoughts so trust I understand wholeheartedly how you feel. Some people just want people with mental health problems to not talk about it when they know this could help others with the same/similar problems. I am happy you decided to just tell your truth because you have help yourself and others.

[@funkyfreshwizardry]

I think one facet that you may not be aware of is that one of the original “congrats on the autism” cakes is used as kind of a cruel meme. I have seen it used way more often in that context than in any kind of sincerity, and I am autistic so obviously I’m not fond of it. When I saw your cake, it just made me think of the meme. It felt weird, and still feels weird to me, but I understand you didn’t mean anything by it.

[@fabianshedenhelm2986]

Personally as an autistic person myself I like it. I like seeing autistic adults celebrating finally getting diagnosed after all this pain and confusion, and any other neurodivergent adult getting the same opportunity. Some neurodivergent folks go out and dress in formal attire sitting in the psychologists office waiting. Some do cakes, I know a friend who did a cake. I'm planning to do a cake myself if I ever need to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. [I 99.9% know I have it]

[@theantiskiasystem2260]

Very very good video. Thank you. If anyone ever talks sh*t to us for coming out, I'm showing them this. It is difficult. And diagnosis is a privilege. And we are celebrating the knowing, not the being mentally ill. And we deserve to not feel sh*t about ourselves. Because that doesn't help anyone around us.

[@ArtingFromScratch]

People weren't supportive when I got deafened and got hearing aids and people weren't supportive when I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. People don't understand how validating it is to have a name for a condition and not just think you are crazy. Even with BPD, FIBROMYALGIA, DEAFNESS,etc... no one is supportive with a POSITIVE DIAGNOSIS...unless it's cancer and then everyone offers to help