"ADHD and Oppositional Defiance" Q&A Session for Parents on Discipline Strategies

ADHD expert Sharon Saline answers ADDitude readers' questions about parenting a child with ADHD who is oppositional and defiant. She discusses moving beyond conflict to connection with your child. To learn more about Dr. Sharon Saline, visit www.drsharonsaline.com. This video was originally broadcast on 06/25/21.

[@hollyweaver7292]

My son was struggling all of the sudden with impulse control, obeying requests, self-care. He was doing all sorts of things that were out of character for him. We to his pediatrician and psychologist and found out his stimulant medication was causing him to only sleep about 3 hours a night - he had never mentioned that he was sleeping so badly (BTW- our internet locks at bedtime, so it was not a screentime issue.) After changing his stimulant & adding low dose of trazadone (antianxiety for sleep help) he gradually started sleeping better and his behavior leveled out. However, it was not fast. It was several doctor visits and quite a few weeks of dedication to the process.

[@ZUPI-YUPI]

Thanks a lot . I have an adopted daughter. She was 8 months old at the time of adoption. She has ADHD and ODD. We live in Russia. And it is very difficult for me .Your transmission gave a slightly new perspective . And I will try again and again. You say that such behavior is corrected in 2 years. It gives me hope that I won't raise a psychopath.

[@barbh1]

I think this video is rather upbeat, and encouraging. But, I don't believe she stated that the condition will be corrected in any set time. It might be something that we learn to manage.

[@lydiaortiz7493]

Excellent 👏🏻 thank you so much

[@Miriam7565]

Great video

[@sebastianluna8771]

Thank you for this content

[@LanaLana-og5dm]

Hello. I have an 8-year-old daughter with whom I have problems. She is very bright, advanced and curious, she is interested in many things. He is constantly on the move, always jumping, climbing, dangling his legs and has a hard time staying still, except when reading books. Even when watching TV, it turns upside down. The problem is that the teachers complain about her behavior, that she is rude to her classmates, she is also said to be aggressive at times. He doesn't listen in class, spins around and gives the teacher a thumbs up when she confronts her with the fact that she has to work. At home, she is constantly arguing that we will not boss her around and that we should get out of her room, she has also started lying to protect her interest with me, my grandmother and my husband, and the teachers are literally sweeping her away. We are desperate for help

[@sinstaNatiyD]

My 9yr got diagnosed with adhd and odd but while watching this video iam realizing that I might be have been and still am adhd and odd as well but currently Iam diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, & ptsd. Could that be part of the reason why? Iam just trying to be able to help my child more while helping myself as well.

[@anyatranter5588]

I am a mother of 56 who is just about to undergo an ADHD assessment in two days.I am wondering wether I have odd or something similar too.

[@LoveLife-gv8jg]

It's a genetic disorder so makes sense

[@heatherjritzema8902]

Post cancer treatment my sons symptoms have become more prevalent. We are thankful for his full remission of HL but he has been rejected by his Paternal family unit and he is taking it hard. I was an only child so it is just me in life and therefore his support network is slim, but I encourage him to make friends in order that he can develop his own framily network. Is anyone else faced with a similar situation?

[@johannacollins4721]

Can a child have these diagnosis but just present it at home or with close family/friends? My child doesn’t present behaviors at school and holds it all together?! It’s puzzling. No abuse or trauma from her childhood. Thanks!

[@jlgracegrace]

This all SOUNDS good but what about parents of young children who: 1. must work 40+ hrs/week, 2. have little disposable income to pay for therapy due to insurance limits, 3. parents are too worn out to manage all this parental learning, 4. nobody to help out and give parents a break/nobody wants to babysit, 5. there's a 1 year+ wait for therapy, counselin etc because the system is overwhelmed. What do these families have for hope to manage ODD-autistic children on their own? No support available. There must be families facing these limitations to improve e their lives. What real life solutions are there for them?

[@Robert-bg2nm]

little to no support for parents! losing battle!

[@leogabrielsen5476]

I hear you brother/sister. Ross Greene.

[@amanda6688weaver]

Do they ever come to being a well mannered individual? My daughter is 3, will follow zero rules, will not ever stop a negative action, she gets overly tired. I fear she will never be able to cope with how she should behave

[@kseniyakaryakina]

Literally same to everything you said. My 3 year old daughter is the same way :(

[@ethanjohnson228]

She's only 3 tho

[@repentorperish6414]

Read sleepless in America by mary sheedy...alot of little ones misbehave because they're overly tired. If you notice a change in behavior when she gets good sleep then most likely not enough sleep is the issue

[@DivaWright83]

I've been dealing with this since my daughter was 2. She's 11 now and it's a struggle. I'm starting to feel defeated.

[@RR-iv6ol]

My grandniece has this. She is 3. Its been so difficult.she manipulates at 3. She refuses consequences, calm talk, etc. I want to run away, it’s so exhausting

[@amandabourke796]

I am a RBT (Registered Behavioral Therapist) and work in the school system. Currently I am in a 4-6 grade Moderate-Severe Special Needs classroom. I have a student in this class who I have no idea how to handle. I myself have raised 2 girls (I'm 52) and have worked as an RBT for about 10 years in different settings. I have to say, I'm at a loss with this student. He is ANGRY all the time and has defiance disorder, ADHD and learning disabilities. He gets angry about doing work in class, he gets angry at other students for "looking at him" and literally everything and he's ALWAYS angry at the teacher and other adults. I don't know if he's experienced trauma in his home, and I don't know what his home life is like in general. He is MEAN to other students and adults. He doesn't respond to compassion or positive reinforcement. He doesn't care one bit about negative reinforcement. WHAT DO I DO?!?!? Is there anyone out there who may have a suggestion? I really want to reach this child and help him succeed in school!!! HELP!!!!

[@crystaldaley7850]

I'm so sorry. has he hurt others or himself? can you schedule a meeting with the parents to get a background of the family and see if you guys can come up with a plan together so he can succeed?

[@sarabroadhead3671]

It sounds like he is loaded with toxins. Toxins like heavy metals, parasites, etc. They REALLY DO make a HUGE difference in behavior. I have a really good idea 💡 if you are up to it. Message me back.

[@repentorperish6414]

Sounds like a spiritual issue

[@annwalsh7939]

Do you just seek counseling even though they want nothing to do with it. I can’t make her walk through the door

[@candiceharrison2374]

Compassion! Yeah that's a joke! He cares only about himself no matter how nice or calm I am.

[@ralphtom3431]

fasting

[@anonymouslyperfect1476]

Yea tell me about it. My 7 year old cousin fits the bill. I made the list it was just check, check,check. She has no care for anything. She even kicked a puppy cuz she knew she wasnt gonna get in trouble. I just figured she was a spoiled brat who can't pass the second grade. I guess she is just sick.

[@brianna094]

​@@anonymouslyperfect1476The parents need to fix their behavior and grow a pair

[@anonymouslyperfect1476]

@brianna094 nah. Both parents in jail. Raised by grandparents

[@shirleyhunt8769]

I know how it feels have compassion on yourself also 😢

[@JamiesLife]

I struggle so so bad in that moment I never knew punishment was bad and I always thought that's what I was supposed to do I need desperate help and advice I already have therapist and she's had 1 since 4 yrs old it's been so hard my daughter has adhd,autism,odd and my 4 yr old adhd and my son has adhd,dyslexia I have adhd and this is just a long road I'm learning but it is just so tough some days my daughters been on meds 2 yrs and in therapy since 5 yrs old she's almost 10 now definitely improvements but the baby days are pure he'll today she just cut my window screen and call Ed me lots of names

[@lilmissjoodypoody]

I hope it’s gotten a bit easier for you since then. Life in a neurodiverse family can be a real struggle. Whenever possible, try to remember that you and your kids are doing the best that you can with the resources that you have at the time”. The most important thing with a family is love, and that should always be the focus - do what you need to to promote love, love for yourself and for your kids. ❤❤

[@anonymouslyperfect1476]

Yknow, my brother had adhad, epilepsy, odd. All diagnosed. He was punished. He was never allowed to use his disability as an excuse. He is now an amazing teenager. Helpful caring loving albiet, a pushover...but an all around amazing kid. I say this to say YOURE the parent. Its okay to ness up as long you try. Thats what you're doing. Watching these videos bettering yourself, YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

[@sebastianluna8771]

Does CBT help with ODD behaviours?

[@meritarusaj5721]

Is ODD has connection with OCD contamination?

[@poerava]

6:46 Was that sheep sound intentional after mentioning animals?

[@ThisBraveHeart]

My 4 year old was a normal 2 year old until my husband got deployed for almost a year and he actually deployed 7 days after giving birth to our second child. I think his behavior is my fault because I couldn’t give him the attention he needed during that time

[@janselcastillo5834]

I need help for my son. He can’t keep acting out at school but he doesn’t stop.

[@alishaliggett]

Yes, I have ADHD and my daughter seems to have ADD and ODD

[@ireneturnbull825]

Hi fron the u.k. x

[@daynabirdsall6348]

Can it be different depending on who their around. Like say he listened to his Dad Great Gramma exc. But with his mom me teaches he's bad. He has good days depends.

[@mvielver78]

2:52 My son has ADHD and ODD and hits me after I hit him. When he hugs me he tries to wrestle me and jump on me. He curses at me. It’s getting to the point that I cry in front of him.

[@repentorperish6414]

Read setting limits with your strong willed child

[@aprilmagoo495]

Demand avoidance

[@HIDDENADHD]

I say "no!" to this video... 😂😂

[@janselcastillo5834]

But he does great in test and assignments, it just his behavior

[@janselcastillo5834]

My son has adhd and odd

[@nononouh]

333

[@anyatranter5588]

The opposite of defiance is compliance and that word gives me chills.I am a 56 year old woman struggling with these forces within me.causing repeated agro in my life.

[@cindys9491]

Are those the only two options? Maybe they could calmly think through whether to follow a given direction or not if it makes sense to them? Idk

[@Peace.]

It could also be defiance or cooperation, collaboration, consideration, conversation and many other options

[@barbh1]

I agree. A little disobedience is a good thing as long as it doesn't interfere with someone's joy in life. When it's serious, there is good medicine.

[@daphnebadenhorst5088]

Pediatrician gave ritling for adha and for odd zoxadon?

[@JamiesLife]

Wow I never heard of that med and didn't know there was a med for the odd

[@DarkGloComics]

@@JamiesLife my daughter and I were out on Guanfacine almost 4 weeks. This is on top of the aderrall we already take.

[@ireneturnbull825]

My daughter has adhd her son has adhd it’s a battle of wills

[@Roar1921]

My teen does not need me telling him anything. Even if he walks into a discussion between me and another person, he starts yelling and arguing. Has issues bcz someone else does something that irritates him. Like singing in a voice that he doesn't like. He comes to have a question and asks me questions but if i try and respond he interrupts in two words with a booming voice. And if I prefer to stay silent he gas lights me that I keep things in my heart forever and prefer to be miserable unlike him. He pushes us to an extent where we end up losing control of our words

[@amandabrazil141]

Your not alone 😢❤

[@barbh1]

Medications are quite helpful when you find the right ones, and use them regularly.

[@caramadra5]

Oh give me a break. If they have ODD they need to know it. Maybe then they'll listen

[@caramadra5]

Why do the parents need training? The kid is the one with the issue. He just won't do as he's told. That's his job as the child.

[@stevelangrealestate]

It’s probably good information but when you say hello to people watching online it loses credibility.

[@WilliamFontaineJr]

Dung referral constantly speaking to people watching making it difficult to follow. Edit and cut out speaking to others then I’ll watch.