Adult with Autism | Autism & Cancel Culture | 26

[@cherrymilk5590]

As a person who has high functioning autism, I find the social environment even more difficult for me because ppl can be very unforgiving when I say something offensive unintentionally. I understand ppl being upset by certain things, but I just wish ppl were more understanding of my circumstances, context, how I was raised, etc. I recently wrote a story for a writing class where I used the r word in the context of my brother "making me feel r***" by how he treated me. 5 different girls took turns criticizing my use of the r word and I felt like I needed to expose myself as having autism to provide some context. I know that it is important to be considerate of the language you use. I was hurt that so mant ppl took turns criticizing my social misstep. I don't wanna act like I am a victim of cancel culture bc in reality it was just very harsh criticism but damn it did hurt. I'm not even a conservative person at all, but I wish this moral purity culture didn't exist on the left, and that's coming from a very left leaning person.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Your position, left, central, right etc, it all depends on context from anyone else and their mindset, don't worry yourself about it. But our own stories are relevant. If others can't understand, it doesn't water them down. Real life IS real life, the ignorance of others highlights how they don't understand things we deal with. Thats where we educate or pass them by, not to argue or convince. So the 5 girls are living warped lives if they dismiss your genuine existence. Just because they disagree, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Making it exist by sharing is how things change 👍🏻

[@randysmith5435]

I am a fifty-three year old recently diagnosed with ASD. I also happen to be gay. Not screaming oppression even though I have faced discrimination since I was very young. Part of that discrimination was because I was autistic. Abuse occurred from older children. Both sexual and physical. I agree with you that we should be protecting and defending all children from this abuse. What happens when the abuse is coming from society? I was certain as a young person that the body you were born in was what nature expected of you. I was free with my opinions about it with transgender people in discussions and lost friends because my mind couldn't fathom why a person would do that to their body. I learned in therapy about mind blindness. An inability to understand how other people are feeling. I know it affects those on the spectrum to greater and lesser degrees. I also know that all people have biases based on their life experiences which they project outwards. Many of my family members are on the spectrum as well , some are affected more profoundly than I. My niece came out briefly as lesbian and quickly went celibate because of backlash from the same family that forbade me from coming out to my nieces and nephews because they feared what it might do to them. I was canceled by my family and that feeling of being othered prevented me from being there for my niece because we never got to have a relationship. I have a better understanding now of transgender issues and have apologized to those I have hurt with my insensitivity and lack of nuanced thinking. That is another autistic trait I'm working to overcome. The Transgender community is made up of more than those militant few who are so easily offended by a woman accepting a reward and being proud to be a woman. Most, just seek acceptance and love like I do with my family. I understand the difference between humor and oppression with comedy. I don't want to cancel anyone, yet here in the states people like me are being canceled for being their true selves and forced to edit who they are to feel safe. MASKING IS EXHAUSTING! Wether it's my autism or my relationship with my husband of over twenty-one years who is also autistic . I understand cancel culture from having it done to me.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Doesn't sound like you've had an easy time there at all Randy, it's a great shame. People shouldn't have the freedom go cancel anyone just because it clashes with an opinion. I don't understand many things, but instead of building a wall, I give myself boundaries and ask what harm it actually causes? I wouldn't verbally or ohysically attack anyone because I don't understand something, that is absolutely the problem, and that type of behaviour should be cancelled if anything. Cancel culture is a dictatorship by controlling narcissistic right wingers disguised by the media as left wing freedom fighters. You have summed up how it feels to be cancelled, and none of it sounded healthy for you and I'm sure you suffered for it, whilst the people who have closed minds controlled a narrative that wasn't theirs to control. It is poison.

[@Cholesterol-w1j]

Gross

[@bella0568]

I'm only 13 minutes in but I had to stop the video and go to the comment section to say YES! YES! Thank you ❤

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem at all 👍🏻

[@Shibby27ify]

Thank you for not being just another political NPC (of every side) talking about autism but still having the sensitivity for what we face as autistics. I've always felt EVERY political side is absurd and never made sense to me. I literally had a realization as a child "sooooo, you HAVE to choose a side and spend your entire life in hatred of what isn't your side." I've always felt every value system is the social herd instinct trying to control the rest of the herd. Cancel culture (it's not just the left doing this!) is like the shadow of the social/herd/tribal instinct trying to control the collective in their utter narcissism. I really recommend Integral Theory and Spiral Dynamics to learn to see above the canned sides and value systems. It's one of my special interests.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No narrative to push from me...except ensuring everyone has comfy pajamas! 👍🏻

[@aumtheaum3827]

I’m keeping to myself. My NT husband pinch hits for me. I stay home almost all the time. The world is just so overwhelming.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Turn the news on...it's easy to see why people want to stay home 👍🏻

[@marikac6263]

People are too privileged now, so they create problems. Social media doesn't help at all. It's so easy to surround yourself with toxic people on social media, changing your world perspective and thinking everyone is against you. It's a bit like propaganda back in the day but this time people are deciding which propaganda they like. Just a few months back my husband and I rewatched the first couple of seasons of the Bundy's family and there's not a single episode that could be released these days, but it was soo funny.. we laughed at every single episode.. Such a shame there's no way to listen to your stand ups, I am pretty sure it was good. Keep smiling!

[@AdultwithAutism]

I absolutely agree that it comes from privilege. Life used to be hard, now people try to make it harder than it is. There are audio files of my stand up, maybe I'll share some one day under the right circumstances.

[@turtleanton6539]

Al Bundy ? Yes😂😂😂😂😂

[@brianmeen2158]

@@turtleanton6539married with children was amazing and it is true that you could not make a show like that today . Probably the reason I don’t watch sitcoms and haven’t in many years

[@BotR0b]

It is pretty off indeed. Especially since probably most of the people on this beautiful planet have got phones with a lens and an easy access to social media and sharing whatever, I feel like humans can't really be themselves anymore. It's like walking on eggshells and that is going to essenitally define the future we are heading towards (if it doesn't randomly shift course). Got to be careful how you act, what you say, how you present yourself and so on. Takes a lot of courage to kind of go "Screw it, I won't let that bother me" and step out of the herd and be who you genuinely are. Also with those labels. I don't personally like labels, be it a friend, a transgener etc, but that's just me. In general, I just see humans, although that is also a label haha, but you get my point hopefully. A major reason I do not read the news, watch TV, listen to the local radio or spend time on social media/forums, purposefully keeping myself in ignorance, is because of the crap that's out there. Unless there's a topic I want to know more about, I am pretty much out of the scene. For me, it is the best way to stay balanced emotionally and mentally.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Absolutely agree. I avoid news where possible and live in my bubble. I get called selfish for doing so but...where is the incentive to be part of the world when it's gone to hell in a hand-basket? Never been interested, never taken part, but NOW I have pay attention for some reason?

[@bryanmerton5153]

Great video Paul. I totally agree especially about comedy. Not all joke make everyone laugh. Don’t go see that comedian. I also agree that there a lot more pressing issues to protest! It is a rough world and getting rougher by the day. I also agree about the White Male thing, though fortunately I am gay so I am bumped up a notch😂. I sometimes feel guilty that I have a house, a nice car and a good job. I did in fact work hard for it, but guilty none the less. I also feel lucky to have spent most of my life without social media! So glad you are feeling well enough to be bothered again! Keep it up!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hey Bryan, I don't feel guilt at all for the house/job/car etc as I know exactly what it took and cost me. For all of knock downs, mental health impacts, evil bosses, tough interviews, undervalued etc, I should have a mansion, a Ferrari and be a CEO, but I'll take what I've got! I know what I've done that others wouldn't, the working for free, spending more time away and on the road in year than being at home, the 80+ hour weeks when you have a 37.5 hour contract, the weekend work when you're down for weekdays...the list could go on and on!! So my stuff is well earned 😂

[@janinemills6732]

I feel sorry for youth and people who haven't lived in a pre Internet age. Unfortunately we live in a time where good times breed bad people, because they have little else to be bothered about in their lives. It's mostly the left that tend to cancel and get offended. Ricky Gervais recently said that comedy has changed since people thought feelings were more important than facts. Great video

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's true. People who don't understand comedy will attend comedy shows, and take offence if the comic strays into territory they don't find humorous...then expect the comic to find a new joke instead of themselves finding a new comic 👍🏻

[@azcactusflower1]

Good video! It's quite noticeable when you're over 40. I'm 58. Be responsible for one self

[@AdultwithAutism]

Exactly. Pay attention to yourself, get yourself in order and find your contentment. Just putting your attention and time into aiming blame at everyone else for not liking something they say or do is a fools errand.

[@NiinaSKlove]

It's an understatement to say that this video made me a BIG fan of you! Yes, to all you said in the video! Also, seeing an autistic person like me, who won't conform to whatever society has deemed to be the "right thing to think and say," is an absolute joy! I hope that one day you'll be a guest on Joe Rogan. And on Jordan Peterson's podcast. And his daughter's podcast. And on Gad Saad's podcast - and on Triggernomertry!! I'll tell you one thing: dark humor is one of the things that saved my life. That, and music. - Keep the great work up, my friend! 🤗

[@AdultwithAutism]

Much appreciated...and I'd very happily go on all those Podcasts! Although not sure they would want a random dude from YT, but never say never 😂 Find your own path and tell your own story...even if it upsets those who refuse to understand 👍🏻

[@NiinaSKlove]

@@AdultwithAutism Exactly! Never say never! 🙃🙂👍😄

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hopefully people will petition to make it happen 😂

[@NiinaSKlove]

@@AdultwithAutism Haha,😂😂 that would be awesome! I would sign that petition!

[@chrisjackson9626]

Cheers Paul, found your channel looking for another autistic bloke who made sense to me. I can't relate to most people on autistic pages and channels, who often seem want to revel in victimhood. I was diagnosed last year at 50, in some ways it has helped me make a little sense of life, but as you highlighted, it's not without problems, especially when disclosing stuff. From a work perspective, it was the right thing to do in order to make my job more secure. It's good to hear from a fellow working class Northern bloke who I feel I can relate to, even though I now live in New Zealand. Cheers fella.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Chris, good to have you over here. I don't do victimhood at all, don't get me wrong there are areas that need much improvement, but I can't make the horse drink the water I lead it to. I can only highlight whats wrong and hope people have a good heart and care when it comes to assistance, especially for my concerns that arise. Outside of that, the rest is on me. Can't sit and complain about everything not being for me without trying, otherwise I can complain I haven't won the lotto either! If its out my control, what else can I do jut crack on as best I can 👍🏻

[@DianeCecala]

Keep on speaking your truth, wow, I’m in agreement with your train of thought on these subjects. Society has become so intolerant of people who are not like them. It’s just to controlling for me, just as you stated.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Yep. It is narcissistic people who expect you to do as they want so they don't have to feel inconvenienced.

[@CuriosityUnchained]

Mr whack-a-mole… 😂 That was funny. Great vid as usual. Agree with you completely.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many thanks 😂

[@steveluxecable3817]

Hey Paul! I think I can help you understand the whole “cancel culture” thing. I think I can probably condense the entire concept down to one word, “narcissism”. Narcissism demands that people think just like the narcissist, because in the narcissist’s mind, they cannot be capable of doing any wrong. The people who are “so unhappy in their own lives” as you put it, are riddled with toxic shame, and in order to make their own shame feel less, they routinely put other people down and persecute them. If you read up and learn about narcissism, and learn how narcissism affects behavior, everything makes perfect sense. It’s just a pattern of behavior. Narcissists aren’t very complicated. It’s pretty simple. Trauma is usually the reason for the narcissistic behavior, so narcissistic people are people who are traumatized, and in pain. However what makes them harmful to other people is the fact that in order to boost their own ego and feel better about themselves, they resort to victimizing, harassing others, and minimizing other people to make themselves feel superior. They’re energy vampires, plain and simple. I’ve come to realize that the term “cancel culture” is more of a political tool than a reality. It’s invoked more and more frequently when someone (usually a politician or celebrity) says something abominable, and the backlash is swift. Usually instead of dealing with the backlash in an emotionally intelligent way, they just blame “cancel culture”. I don’t think that cancel culture should be blamed in situations where there are oppressed groups (transgender people) who experience everyday violence and discrimination. I think these groups need to be heard, and I don’t think it’s necessarily a model of what constitutes cancel culture. With free speech comes responsibility, and I’ve noticed that the loudest people who are railing against cancel culture also tend to be the people who want to say dumb, hurtful, and potentially violent things about others while simultaneously having absolutely no consequences for the exorcising of free speech. That’s not necessarily what you’re describing here, but I wanted to throw in my $0.02. No worries, I’m not for canceling you. 😉

[@AdultwithAutism]

Makes sense to me! My angle was solely from the perspective of people moaning to the point the rest of us are expected to fall in line or be classed as being just as bad as the perpetrator. I don't condone the violence, bullying of others. I just want people happy, healthy, and 'love thy neighbour'. I don't see why people hate others for differences. I know it might have appeared like I have a problem with transgender since I mention it a lot, but I don't. I suppose just like in Autism, there will be toxic communities out there for transgender too. So it's never the collective I'm bothered about, it's the mentality of the narcissists I guess! Thanks for the no cancel vote 👍🏻

[@steveluxecable3817]

@@AdultwithAutism You hit the nail on the head. There are toxic people everywhere. They’re just emboldened now.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Couldn't agree more.

[@teresaamaral3889]

Great vídeo! I couldn’t agreed more. I like the way your mind works.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Teresa, hope you're keeping well.

[@user-Tortured-soul]

😢This is so sad that you have been made to feel worthless by the NHS. I have had awful experiences with doctors and nurses.I can’t cope with this new language it’s like we are being set up to fail.People need to calm down and stop putting labels of confusion on all of us. It’s crazy! Most jokes are observational my favourite was and is Billy Connolly. I will be 71 this year and I can’t believe how judgemental and hysterically unreasonable some are becoming. It’s a lot easier to be kind to others than to hate them. I don’t understand those people who focus on the negative. The thing is if you don’t like what a person says you have a choice you can accept that it’s not for you then just leave the venue.🤣😂🤣 I’m laughing at your swimming joke. I remeber going with my parents to a miners club and the comedian started to tell very sexual jokes I was only 19 and I couldn’t stomache it so I excused myself. Dad came looking for me and he understood so we went to the quite lounge had a drink and moved on. We should respect each other’s differences and agree to disagree.Like you say Paul save our protesting for serious issues. I like how you think.❤

[@launacasey6513]

Tom Segura is HILARIOUS.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sure is

[@flamingohead27]

You should be allowed to be proud of yourself people keep saying freedom of speech, but not if it's that...😮‍💨 I agree with you 💯 I watch your videos to lighten the mood. 😊 Your mom has it right. My sister says, "don't yuck my yum" 29:23 Bravo! 👏👏👏👏

[@AdultwithAutism]

Don't yuck my yum...sounds rude! Can't say I've had my yuck 'yummed'...hopefully...maybe... 👍🏼

[@davidbennett2820]

It'S really about societal acceptance. Would you allow jokes that make fun of you or your autism? Ethnic groups? The poor? How do you feel about Bernard Manning? Making fun of small ethnic groups breeds acceptance of degrading "other". Good jokes make you think, bad jokes make you feel good to not be .............

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi David, Would I allow jokes that make fun of my Autism/make fun of me - Ehsan Ahmad did a bit about Autistic people. It was highly inaccurate and very stereotypical, but it didn't bother me as it's just a joke. People I know mock me all the time. One lad I know says the same thing every time I see him...'now then... learned to count cards yet?'. Even this week, someone I know said I will have to go to his for a meal for a catch up, but I have to promise 'not to line up all his cutlery on the living room floor'. But, these are people I know well, and they know me. it's just messing about, ribbing. It isn't serious. Friends tease each other, and I give it back. Allowance of Ethnic Group Jokes - Most successful past and present-day non-white comics have large portions of jokes mocking white people and white people stereotypes. Ms. Pat, Michael Che, Donell Rawlings, Patrice O'Neal, Deric Poston, Dave Chappelle...while white comics are highly frowned upon for adding commensurate material to their present-day sets. The breeding of acceptance of degrading must be shared. Ethnicity shouldn't be a difference, we're all just mammals with an expiration date. How do I feel about Bernard Manning - His career started 33 years before I was born, an entirely different time. But he had some great jokes, one of my favourites was 'I went to see that Pavarotti last week and he was a right miserable git. He doesn't like it when you join in'. Joking about the poor - the manifesto of the Conservative Party.

[@brianmeen2158]

Yeah I notice the ‘woke’ have a big problem with racial or ethnic jokes - that is unless you are talking about white people or the Irish or German etc. Again their entire value code is so hypocritical and warped that I don’t know how any adult goes along with it

[@Seidrsoulja]

I’m pretty sure you’re Gen X……………we’re the Generation that just had to find out by experience, and we’re a little raw, and can be seen as extremists

[@turtleanton6539]

😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@turtleanton6539]

😊😊😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻