Affair Recovery Steps: 5 Ways to Overcome Your Past and Write a New Story

As Samuel says, there are no guarantees in life or in recovery. There are, however, five things you can do to foster healing after infidelity. “Whether you’re the wayward spouse or the betrayed spouse, if you commit to these affair recovery steps, you will have every opportunity at healing and restoration.” Today, Samuel shares these game-changing tips as well as words of hope, encouragement and empowerment.
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REBUILD AND RECONNECT WITH YOUR MATE through EMS Online. Our Emergency Marital Seminar Online, better known as EMSO, isn’t a one-size-fits-all program for couples. Over decades of experience exclusively in the field of infidelity, our methodology has been honed to better serve couples as they accept the betrayal, work toward forgiveness and ultimately restore their lives. Register: rb.gy/srird7
DISCOVER WHAT KIND OF AFFAIR IT WAS with Affair Recovery’s free Affair Analyzer: rb.gy/wp9sjv. No two affairs are the same, and the type you’ve experienced will ultimately dictate your route to recovery. With Affair Recovery’s Affair Analyzer, you’ll answer a series of eight to 12 simple questions to determine where your experience falls in the grand scheme of over 850 outcomes. Then, begin to move forward with Affair Recovery resources, including crisis management tips, action steps and mentor videos from people who’ve been in your shoes.
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Harboring Hope | Online course for hurt spouses: www.affairreco...
Hope for Healing | Online course for wayward spouses: www.affairreco...
First Steps Bootcamp | Free online course on the fundamentals of healing after infidelity: www.affairreco...
ON-CAMERA EXPERT: Infidelity survivor and Affair Recovery Survivors’ Blog contributor Samuel.
“Affair Recovery Steps: 5 Ways to Overcome Your Past and Write a New Story.” Survivors’ Blog video by Affair Recovery (C) 2021
#AffairRecoverySteps #WaywardSpouse #BetrayedSpouse #RecoveringFromInfidelityPain #PracticingForgiveness #ForgivingBetrayal #ForgivingYourself #AddressingThePast #AddressingTrauma #HealingAfterAnAffair #SurvivingInfidelity #AffairRecovery #AfterAnAffair #Relationships #Infidelity #Marriage #Samuel #SupportAfterBetrayal #EMSOnline #EMSWeekend #HarboringHope #HopeForHealing #HopeRisingConference #HopeNow

[@renne841]

I really do believe there's a an amazing new journey waiting for you. You and Sam did the work and you aren't going back into the world broken , and hurting others. You have peace and that is priceless. You have changed my life and I'll forever be grateful. I had no idea the aftermath of what his affair would do to me, and you taught me to understand the process. You made me feel less alone . During the hardest fight of my life you gave me hope. Thank you

[@samshealingpodcast]

that means so much. thank you for your kindness and encouragement.

[@stephaniegreen3646]

Ditto!!!

[@nurantastan9190]

So sorry

[@erincox356]

Samuel, your guidance, tough words and obvious passion for your work is refreshing. I know better than to compare my marriage to yours, but thank you for the reminder to all of us that we write our own stories. The sad ending to your marriage will not diminish you or your message in any way in my eyes. I wish you, Samantha and your entire family peace and a road traveled that is full of grace and one that is as smooth as possible. Please keep helping us learn, grow and flourish.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much erin. it means so much to hear that and receive such great compassion and encouragement.

[@olunicholas4362]

This is apt 👌, you spoke my mind, thank you Sam for sharing your life with us.

[@Xyhelm]

Samuel, I've been divorced for 2 years (I was the betrayed spouse). I continue watching AR videos because they are still beneficial to me. There is always something new to learn. Today, I am part of a local recovery group, where I serve others who are going through chaos. I'm thrilled that you are doing the same thing... staying in recovery in order to serve others whose lives are in chaos. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I want to keep seeing your face on this channel. :) God bless you, sir.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much my friend. means more than you know.

[@elizabethcurran-xf7sn]

How do I find an Affair Recovery Therapist?

[@jilldavenport7410]

This hit me hard. Not going to lie. I suppose selfishly because you two had become a beacon of hope for me. I hope you're both doing ok. I'm sad for you guys. But I wish you both well ❤️🙏

[@laniec.f.2531]

Well said...

[@FloMorganBuffaloBills]

I love that you are so open. You do your recovery no matter what. You help so many. Please don't stop these videos that help so many.

[@samshealingpodcast]

means everything. thank you so much.

[@luzstar9934]

Is so hard for me, I can’t overcome and move on, he wants me to heal and forget as it was something little His affair lasted 4 years. I feel so understood listening to this videos but I don’t know how get over of the pain

[@mamasworldview]

Admittedly I felt a loss of hope for my own situation after hearing about you and Samantha but the truth is, even though as humans we all have similar struggles, each path is unique in some way. I hope the best for you, Samantha and your kids to have all the peace, joy, love and freedom God wants for you all. I think it's incredibly courageous all the work you've done and how you STILL came to announce the ending of your marriage and are STILL here today. Your mistakes don't define you. The ending of a relationship doesn't define you. How God works in you to respond to those things does. You're an incredible, whole human. Thank you for continuing to show up and add value.

[@samshealingpodcast]

means so much. brought tears to my eyes. thank you so much

[@lavaughnX1]

Wife had an extramarital affair for 2 years almost 8 months ago. It's tough on me honestly and I've been doing my work and for her it's more words and less action. At this point I feel all I have is forgiveness and the ability to just move on with my life

[@samshealingpodcast]

getting your own help is vital for healing and moving on my friend. it takes time and work to heal and find your own peace of mind. it will come and can come, but the right help and doing your own work will keep you safe.

[@St.Irenaeus]

@@samshealingpodcast Samuel I’m so sorry my brother to hear the news. You and Samantha inspired me so much to work on my own marriage. God bless you and her and I pray God will restore your marriage somehow someway sooner than later. God bless and Jesus in your heart

[@laniec.f.2531]

I'm a bit late to the news, but we happened across this video as we were working on another healing evening. I have tears in my heart for all of you, on many levels. I have been watching you quite faithfully (but this one slipped by me) for nearly 5 years and have grown to admire your blunt honesty, your nearly perfect insight and understanding of "the other / betrayed side" (as well as your own), and your skillfully placed humor as well. Yours and Samantha's story has saved my sanity and I have such respect for your ability to share with others. My story aside, I truly wish you both the very best... as well as those most closely affected by this decision. Peace... and sincere blessings.

[@St.Irenaeus]

I feel so heartbroken for you brother. God can restore hearts and with him anything is possible. Praying for restoration 🙏🏼🤍✝️

[@Paracutie]

It breaks my heart to hear this Samuel! I am so sorry to hear that you and Samantha are no longer together 💔 😔 Your story was such an inspiration and was key in helping my husband and I reconnect! But God will turn EVERYTHING around for good! 🙏🏼

[@Billyroot01]

If it wasn't for you guys. I wouldn't have been able to make it through. When I thought I was losing my mind. When my soul was torn. Everybody there helped me through some real turbulent Waters. From the bottom of my heart thank you guys so very very much

[@karinatorrez3559]

Sending love and support for you and Samantha and your beautiful family. Thank you for always sharing your heart and helping so many of us with your videos. Take care of yourself 🤍

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much.

[@erkaeva1]

I am sorry for the pain you and your family are going through. It is indeed difficult but I am also glad you stayed true to yourself amidst these difficulties. I understand the end of your relationship is hard for viewers that are going through their pain and held you as an example of recovery but you and the family are an example of what it means to live healthy, honest, and fulfilled life. Wish you all to heal and grow in the place where you find your peace. Your work is still inspiring and healing. Do keep speaking from your heart and share your experience, wisdom, and truth with the ones that come here seeking for some understanding. I am glad this community has you to face their own experience and get to the bottom of their pain. Thank you for the work you do and this organization does! Grateful.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much for your kindness my friend. means so much

[@blueman306]

I definitely let out a loud No!!!When I heard..My first reaction was if they can't make it then how are me and my wife going to..But your right we each have our own story/journey. You have helped me in so many areas..Thank you and your staff. Thank you for sharing your journey the good and the ugly. I am praying for you as well as your family. GOD BLESS

[@samshealingpodcast]

thanks for sharing my friend. i'm sorry for the pain and added extra hurdle.

[@JanelleG0822]

My life would have been so much harder without your videos, the night I found you changed everything 🙏

[@samshealingpodcast]

so glad i could be a help and friend to you. thank you so much.

[@michellecook-hill]

Truth

[@dianeeddings5034]

Thank you for this video. Making maneuvers to a new life for myself. I am worth it. WE ALL ARE! Keeping you and your family in my prayers as life changes for you all.💜

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much.

[@jazzmynellis8345]

Thank for for all the work you do. I found the part about forgiveness (13:39) really spoke to me. In my story I was the victim, and I have chosen to stay with my husband and grow from this experience. That’s not to say that everyday isn’t hard. Because believe me, it is. It has been 6 months since the incident and I think about it every single day. Today I found your channel and I found this video and a few others that were so helpful for me. So thank you for your words. I especially loved the quote from the book. I’m not kidding when I tell you I’ve listened to it 4 times now lol I don’t know that I’m quite ready for forgiveness just yet, but knowing that forgiveness is for ME is a step in the right direction. Thank you.

[@philc.9280]

Hi Samuel, long time viewer here. Despite what we all go through in life things can revive again . I mean you and Samantha still have opportunities to get back together again someday. Nothing is permanent except God's love for us.

[@choices26]

You are such an inspiration to so many. Your honesty and authentic compassion for others , going through the most challenging time of their lives, will forever be appreciated. Recovery doesn't always equate with a "happily ever after" for a marraige but a "happier ever after" life for sure. I'm saddened for you and Samantha but certain that you are both going to be much better off moving forward having worked through this recovery process. You both are still an inspiration to those that are struggling to heal. Thank you for your transparency!

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement.

[@careenlazarus3117]

You have never let us down. Please heal well and take care of yourself and your family. You are loved.

[@samshealingpodcast]

means everything to hear that. thank you so much.

[@gigidonascimento8256]

It’s really sad that your divorcing, I really thought you guys had it so together…..scary that this can happen years later down the road, I am still trying to repair and get through my pain my husband caused me. I suffered so much trauma and wonder if we still truly make it even though he is so commuted. Seems difficult to see that life and marriage can really come out of this without ever feeling or thinking of all that pain. Sometimes I wonder if it’s too much pain and if a new start with a new relationship is healthier. Just really hard when you still love your spouse.

[@dan-lansingmi9169]

Gigi. I don’t know if you have children but I felt it was important to stay in the marriage for sake of the kids. So I have just endured the triggers for the past 33 years. Just seeing how well my four children have turned out gives me satisfaction that I made the right decision. I feel I have forgiven despite the continued hurtful triggers that come daily.

[@juliepetulla9513]

Wishing you and your family all the best!

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much.

[@G4ming_OG]

This experience is so painful 😔

[@carolinekinville4700]

Clearly spoken from the heart. Thank you for being so honest and genuine.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you for your kindness and compassion.

[@carolinekinville4700]

I have the forgiveness quote printed out as a daily reminder to myself. It’s a beautiful message. Thank you for sharing it.

[@shaunabee]

Awhh, my first day back to this site and this news. I’m so sorry Samuel. Im also glad to see you face and thank God you’re well 🙏🏾❤️

[@PicturePerfectPlaces]

I'm really glad to hear all of this. This was inspirational

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you my friend.

[@kimrisnear3866]

I was saddened to hear your divorcing but then I thought about it..you both deserve to be happy and you both did the work and will remain a part of each others lives. With honor and dignity intact. Not the worst outcome by far. Congratulations on your joint decision and much luck for the future!

[@rtklarsfeld]

Samuel, you are a warrior. G-d bless you!

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you. same to you my friend.

[@beckysipe4673]

Sending a big hug and lots of love to you all. We continue to learn so much from you. Forward we go! ❤️ Praying for your family!

[@raechelwilkens1160]

You and Samantha have brought so much hope to so many. I pray for both of you during this rough time.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much.

[@lissetteroman1553]

Samuel, do you have any resources for recovery after 20 years ago of affair discovery and never dealing with it until now? We got back together and we never dealt with it until recently when we decided to seek couples counseling. To put it bluntly, all hell has broken loose. Also, thank you for your transparency and continued willingness to help us all struggling. My heart broke at hearing your news. I pray for healing for you and Samantha and may you continue to keep your focus on Jesus.

[@samshealingpodcast]

our resources can still help though it was so long ago. thank you for your prayers and kindness my friend. they mean so much

[@Richhays]

Samuel, as a brother in Christ you owe me no apology. However, I would have felt a blessed to get a phone call! You are still an inspiration to us. Peace be with you, God bless you.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thanks so much Rich. means everything to me.

[@nazfallbreeze4969]

thanks Sam, you just spoke to my soul , keep doing the great work and giving comfort to wounded hearts....

[@samshealingpodcast]

means so much. thank you dearly.

[@rozaliafortuin3643]

Thank you for this video. It has meant sooo much to me. I'm struggling with forgiveness but you are giving me some more hope. You have been of so much help. We are still trying and yes we are trusting God. Thank you for everything that you are doing for all of us on this journey. Its hard to hear this but I believe that God has a purpose and a plan for each of us. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much for your prayers and kindness. it means so much.

[@michellecook-hill]

I’m so sorry. Anyone that thinks this is the easy way out is sooooo wrong. Now comes the next phase - You with Always the kids n Samantha in the background. I certainly do wish u the best. All of you. You’ve set urselves up for success. I wish you all peace. You deserve it ♥️

[@cynsand5048]

Why did they break up?

[@eustaceforbes537]

Praise the lord for u guys....most people preach death for the unfaithful....u preach hope and healing....people kill people who plea a defect of reasoning and in general terms they are ok......for men who are unfaithful its death you all are an oasis, i may have been dead without these vids.....

[@samshealingpodcast]

thanks so much for posting. so glad we could help and support you. it's a journey for sure, one day at a time. i'm so glad you found us and are finding a sense of safety.

[@sorayaouaida8472]

Absolutely no guarantee but it’s so amazing that you give 100 percent , wish you the best for you , Samantha and kids . Healing only happens when there is hope , love and mercy for each other .

[@alixhice5713]

Thank you for this video, Sam. I met you in person on 6/11 at day 1 of the June EMS Weekend and wanted so much to speak privately with you, but you were so busy the first day. I’m sorry I didn’t get another chance, but I want you to know that (at only one month post Discovery) your videos saved my life. Your help gave me the courage to come to EMS and your messages have been instrumental in shedding light on my process and given me/us hope. I thank you for your presence and the continued wisdom you impart on infidelity, growth, and restoration. I pray for you and your own strength as you navigate your new path and I am forever indebted to you for your work and your impact on my own journey. I wish I’d reached out to you when I had the chance, and I’d still love the opportunity to speak with you sometime. Together we are stronger and hope - in its many forms - is achievable. Thank you for that important and necessary perspective.

[@samshealingpodcast]

comments like that make my day. i can't thank you enough for that. i'm so sorry i was so busy: it happens every month still. but, it means the world to me that you'd take time to encourage me and support me in this time. thank you so much.

[@marycooler3527]

Oh wow! You’re still so phenomenal even through your own pain. I was casually listening this morning because your videos keep me going. But this one….I open wept. That quote at the end was a game changer for me. Thank you. Wishing you and Samantha the very best!

[@rahilaanwar3621]

I’m so sorry to hear that Samantha and you are separated. I wish you both all the best and thank you so much for the amazing work you do. May God bless you and your family with peace and happiness 🙏🏻

[@michelleesmith5137]

❤️❤️❤️

[@dianagraves3381]

I’m so sorry to hear about your family. My husband and I are going on 25 years of marriage and I recently found out he was having an emotional affair with a coworker. The biggest problem is he lies to my face and he believes his lies. I know the answers to questions and he will still lie to my face. Until I threaten to leave, then he will finally tell me the truth. He is an habitual liar and he tries to manipulate me to think his lie is the truth. I don’t have I’m an idiot tattooed on my face! How do I ever begin to even start to believe that anything he says is truth?

[@samshealingpodcast]

it will take a few things, but most of all, expert help. I would ask him to attend our ems weekend found here: www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend I would also find an expert that can help you both walk through the process of healing and confronting what is going on inside of him. our experts can help at the weekend and he will definitely need follow up care. this is a great article on trust as well that will help immensely, ONCE he's had the right help and experienced healing and healthy confrontation: www.affairrecovery.com/shocking-truth-about-trust

[@ToyLatrine]

Ahhh I was wondering what happened to him. I had been binge watching all the videos he was apart of. When he disappeared I stopped watching. Not that the other people did bad jobs but I had gotten attached maybe in an unhealthy way to Sams voice LOL.... probably because of what I was going thru and the tears I shed and breakthroughs I had from a couple key videos.

[@samshealingpodcast]

hi william. thanks for watching. i hope you continue to watch and are a part of the community here. thanks for the compassion and kind words.

[@alam6957]

Lifting you up in prayer 🙏

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much.

[@kristineellithorpe4251]

I'm not going to lie, the news of your separation has been a big letdown, as a betrayed spouse there have been so many times I've wanted to talk with Samanth because I wanted to know her story through her recovery journey...

[@karinatorrez3559]

When sharing your past, do you share everything with your spouse as well as your therapist or just your therapist.

[@samshealingpodcast]

it really just depends and is situational my friend. i'm sorry but it really takes expert insight on what to share and what not to share. the key is, what is the heart behind sharing and what is the goal of sharing certain info?

[@PvC63-Jan]

Strings mate!

[@jasonhudson2929]

Samuel. You pulled me through my wife’s 3 month affair. Now I’m back there again. I knew right where to go for counseling and I’m well prepared to recover. I’m on day 4 living in my car. They had a 1-year plan to replace me with him. It would have been hell.

[@mario111876]

Can you help me with some free avenues I can use for some help? We need it desperately.

[@AffairrecoveryLLC]

This free course will give you the fundamentals of healing after infidelity. www.affairrecovery.com/surviving-infidelity/first-steps-bootcamp

[@rubychavez9750]

This was beyond enlightening, Its been a while since I've proceeded to enquire more about this ministry, I was on a roll their for a minute, but because he had no interest and no time, eventually all this fell off my calendar and its been a stagnant, stuck and at times frustrating relationship 💔. A promise to self, I will and need to return & remain to enquire consistently for my own personal healing and Healthier future, with or without him! #Betrayer #Idoluvme RC♥️

[@normaearnisse3106]

God is good, God is the only that’s perfect, none of us are perfect but we learn from our mistakes, bad choices, heart aches….

[@TimMillernapavalleyfilmworks]

This video is so Powerful, thank you Sam.

[@maureenellen3954]

Love the poem at the end.

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you so much

[@katsarti9224]

❤

[@ronaldcambric9639]

Can you do videos on the Betrayed wanting to save the marriage and unfaithful spouse wanting out. Is it naive to keep fighting for something by yourself. I have been going back and forth about moving on or waiting to see how things play out. There's something inside me that's telling me to keep fighting and to be patient.

[@samshealingpodcast]

i get it. i'll try and see what i can do. thank you for commenting.

[@sherapontaoe3214]

Sam, you and AR have been an incredible inspiration to me since DDay 11/21/20! Thank you all so much. I still can’t forgive YET, but I will. Best wishes in your continued recovery & for the healing of your family. 🤍💔🤍