Afraid No Contact Isn't Working? (Watch This)

[@alissabush430]

The BEST no contact video I’ve seen!!! Bravo!!!

[@chrisseitercoaching]

Thanks!!!

[@davidallahgod3217]

@@chrisseitercoaching It's either your using the boomerang or using a javelin! Relationship with yourself lasts for a lifetime, we borrow woman and man as a commodity! if you can't love yourself, you can't love someone else! And if you can't respect yourself as a man, then how can you expect someone else to respect you as a man! NO CONTACT = DISCIPLINE + SELF RESPECT Simple! WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!

[@SonicDephect]

Best ex recovery video I’ve seen in general. Improving yourself and your life is the only bulletproof method to getting an ex back or attracting someone better. Thank you for being real and not just pacifying viewers with what they want to hear. 🙏🏼

[@goodvibezonly2285]

The first month, we've still been in contact and it really did not help me at all. Roller coaster ride. Is it too late for me to disconnect now that it's been 30 days since the break up?

[@UmaRichmond]

C S: Thank you

[@azurebapiaries6730]

No contact always works weather you realize it or not! Self respect & dignity maintained far outweighs any feelings of loss...

[@plusone8015]

Truth

[@grow2be]

Whether. Not weather. 🙄

[@leona9482]

Hi i'm going no contact with my ex rn. But it's more like ignoring each other when in person... However it is his birthday in a few days. Can i graduate him? Or should i stay silent?

[@zeetom2117]

​@leona9482 How did it go? Narcs are very characteristic with regard to the importance of their birthday.

[@user-ih4fd9sf8x]

@@zeetom2117 can you explain me this? i have 2 major situations related to bdays. One changed completely and started the discarding, yet coming back hoovering (after i wasnt with him for first time on his bday bc i was travelling abroad). The other one came back after 2 years, after i stopped saying happy birthday to him. He actually sent me a happy birthday message out of nowhere on my bday (when the prior year he didnt). Oh also, a person i met not too long ago, said happy birthday to me the day before, but knowingly just didnt text me the next day...... that was odd tbh and idk if its related but i thought in mentioning all those birthday circumstances i had with guys

[@scotttyson607]

The only way for "no contact" to work is for you to reach a point where you literally do not give a damn whether or not you ever hear from your ex again.

[@evanlarson5853]

That almost seems sociopathic.

[@scotttyson607]

@@evanlarson5853 BINGO!

[@Oblivion_i3]

​@@evanlarson5853yeah I see what you mean. Being apathetic is cold and borderline the opposite of love. Way different then letting Go and letting God. You can still have good will for that person and cherish the lessons they taught you without deciding to try and forget they existed all together and stooping to their level. I feel for me personally I am grateful for the time we did have together but that doesn't mean I don't set the boundaries to protect myself from letting it happen again.

[@leona9482]

Hi i'm going no contact with my ex rn. But it's more like ignoring each other when in person... However it is his birthday in a few days. Can i graduate him? Or should i stay silent?

[@asrali3045]

Stay silent bruhh not even a hb​@leona9482

[@LifeonFrontStteet]

My last 3 relationships I have enacted the no contact rule and gained power in the walk away. They all came back! Each partner asked honestly why I didn't fight for them. The first 2 girls were 4 months on NC, and most recent was 6 weeks. Attachment and love are raw and strong emotions that cannot be ignored by your ex unless they are narcissistic. Self-respect and also more importantly self-worth has to outweigh your anxiety. Focus on yourself and without you knowing you will become they're best option! Stay strong 💪

[@lorismalls6938]

Thank you Brett! I’ve been struggling a bit. Reading your comment was helpful. 😊

[@AngelofHogwarts]

Thanks. I got ghosted in March and I went through anxiety, panic attacks, sleep deprivation, weight loss, etc. I've never been treated like a disposable toy before and I think I just spiraled because my mind and body didn't know how to handle this type of a betrayal. Funny thing is I didn't even realize I was ghosted because for the last week or so, I assumed he was very busy and couldn't get back to me. After I realized that I'd been ghosted, I sent multiple follow-up texts, a voice note, and tried calling once. I ended my last message on a positive note and apologized if I'd caused any hurt while I was trying to navigate the situation. None of this mattered to him. Not my hurt. Not my apology. Nothing at all. And if none of it was valued then why would I keep vying for his attention and affection? Sad part is that I thought he'd reach out to atleast end things with a handshake or on a civil note but nope. I understand Attachment Theory and core childhood wounds now and I know he's a Dismissive Avoidant but I can't ignore my lived experience and hurt. At this point I'm 5 weeks NC and I'm still healing and recovering. The longer he takes to reach out, the more respect I lose for him. Just hoping I can recover from this trauma in the coming months. :'l

[@oncallempath]

@@AngelofHogwarts I’m sorry you had to go though this. I’ve had the same thing happen to me. I got blind sided after being dumped by an avoidant. Then was dancing with my jewelry that I gave the next day on social media. It was the hardest thing to see. How can they be smiling and dancing the next day like nothing happened? I’ve been crying almost everyday and laid off from my job on top of all this. I’m in a very dark place and went NC. I’m on week 1 and have a long way to go. I don’t think she will ecru come back because she has so much past trauma. Why would I want someone who can just me out so quick? It would happen again even if we did get back together. All I can do is grieve and work on myself. She is t worth it.

[@sj3969]

If you can go no contact and not be a narc why can’t they?

[@LifeonFrontStteet]

@@sj3969 they absolutely can and that is the percentage that doesn't come back unfortunately. But as humans we don't like losing things, material ornirganic. When it's our fault we lost said things the regret hits harder.

[@kubel83]

Worked for me. I was able to move on. Work on myself and improve. And when my ex contacted me I didn’t care no more because something much better happened to me. So yeah it works one way or the other. No contact is not always to get an ex back. It is many times so that you yourself can move on. I have moved on. And I didn’t care or wanted to know why my ex suddenly contacted me, because I’m a much better place now. Did she want me back or just know what I was doing I don’t know. Like I said I don’t care. I wish her the best though ☺️ Ps. Just wanna say I was totally in love with her. So if I can evolve to this state and heal, then so can you. I believe in all of you.

[@user-sj3wf4kg5j]

Were you the one who initiated no contact? And what did she contacted you about? Great you doing much better!

[@kubel83]

@@user-sj3wf4kg5j she Ghosted me out of nowhere. She’s a dismissive avoidant person. So after she ghosted me then I stopped caring and moved on. Life is short and I have no time for immature women playing mind games. Her loss not mine😉

[@michaelvega3669]

@@kubel83 I’m curious how long did it take for her to reach out? Lmao did she keep trying to reach out after you didn’t reply?

[@naaaron7378]

Thank you for beautiful words

[@DeletariousDefenestration]

The problem with the 60% that think it didn't work is patience. Even during my messiest break ups, I've never seen a woman endure 4 months of complete silence, even when they're with a new guy and I block them. I've even seen one girl that I blocked dig up old AIM chats to get my email and message me out of desperation.

[@RoundSquareX]

Senario 1. No matter what, they were never going to come back. Scenario 2. They would have come back only if you did No Contact correctly, but you didn't. Scenario 3. It was a fake break up, the ex was coming back regardless. Scenario 4. Beware, they may contact you, but ultimately they do not want to get back together. Conclusion : No Contact is still always the best method. The moment they say they want to break up, go silent, say nothing, don't block them, don't change your behavior on social media, don't talk about them to a mutual party, Go Witness Protection. (Unless you have kids together.) Let them feel the loss, let them wonder if you cared at all. Don't jump for any bait, stay in no contact if they aren't serious about getting back together. It plays on their ego, and for you, it will only hurt you further if you contact them...allow yourself to grieve the loss but they don't need to know about it, because they don't deserve an ego boost.

[@edwardramirez4482]

you just raise my motivation like 500% thank you very much

[@Mostverdeg]

When you say don’t change your behavior on social media are you suggesting you should keep watching their stories if you were watching them before? I’d think it’d be the opposite in that case

[@MelodyNicoleSibley]

@@Mostverdeg I think they meant don’t “over post”, trying too hard or post sad things trying to get their attention.

[@naaaron7378]

Beautiful reply

[@StuartFuckingLittle]

In my case, 9 days ago, my long distance boyfriend was forced to break up with me because of his homophobic father after 2 months of really cute and funny chats and checking up on each other each day. We even sent pictures of our family members to eachother. He told me “I’m going to leave the bi thing behind and stay straight. I’m sorry” I’m currently blocked but I’m not scrambling to contact him by other means, which I could do. When do you think he may reach out again? We have great chemistry and he says he still has affection for me and wants to be great friends. He told his father because of how much he believed we could be a real thing. He isn’t yet financially independent.

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

I have moved on and rebound. Going to the gym 🏋️‍♂️ 💪, investing 💰, traveling and meeting good people. Life is good and God is great.

[@thousandmile9477]

No contact always works but only in the sense that you will move on eventually. The fixations and grieving memories fade and your ex slowly becomes an emotionaless subject of your past that you tell in the same manner you'd speak about any other part of your history. I know this personally as I've gone through and came out the other side more than once. I am going through a breakup with a woman I proposed to and lived together with and spent half a decade with and I know that there will be an end to the emotions eventually but only because I've been fortunate enough to experience it all before first hand. If you're experiencing the pains and sorrows of a break up right now it's almost impossible to imagine what 'moving on' feels like. In fact, hearing those words often just cause more pain as it's indicative of a finale to a story you don't want to end. However in reality, the story is already over and you're just hopelessly waiting for an encore. The encore is not coming and even if it did, it will not be the result of your no-contact strategy masterfully being executed to plan. It may only happen if your ex has a change of heart at the same time that your heart is still in it, which believe me, at a certain point, it won't be. This is completely out of your control. You have no power over the thoughts of another individual through simply not contacting them. You do have complete control over your decision to accept a new reality and have confidence that time does heal all wounds.

[@tokitoki327]

Wow! That was on point

[@plusone8015]

Experience makes us experts.

[@indiaskate]

I agree....its been 2 weeks for me and after watching many videos and various advices the charm of the ex is wearing off. We need to view different perspectives and figure out if the relationship even had the depth we thought it had. This is when reality strikes.

[@jreal54]

Very well stated for understanding the deeper truth of no-contact and it's purpose. 6 year relationship of the cycle with a D.A. and had to find a end to this madness once and for all.

[@AnnaAnna-gp6br]

I'm 44 and it's been 2 months NC, this is the best thing that I've read on you tube, I can't wait for the fixation and grieving to end, today I finally feel like these may be starting to end for me I can't wait to not care as this feeling is awful. Getting there slowly, keep going everyone. 😊

[@c.j.erickson9647]

I absolutely love that you repeatedly bring up working on yourself and outgrowing your ex. It really is the most important part in this process.

[@chrisseitercoaching]

Thank you for noticing this! I’m glad it’s getting through. Sometimes I wonder hahaha

[@suukinsin6771]

The no contact rule only works if she has not found a better guy than you

[@manutdmadlad]

Needed this. 3 and a half months in. Trying to work on myself and build a better me for whatever happens.

[@blablablabla2447]

stay strong my friend

[@giovannimorgan8728]

Update????

[@manutdmadlad]

@@giovannimorgan8728 still waiting and still making improvements.

[@ghostgirl531]

@@manutdmadlad Have you moved on? Ugh I feel like I’m next it’s been 4 months and nothing. Only to find out he went back to his first ex crush (they never dated and she doesn’t find him attractive) I guess I’ll start moving on then…

[@ambiliramachandran5739]

​@@ghostgirl531 heyy any updates?

[@AikiraBeats]

I’ve learned that it takes time. Day by day your mind will adjust to just thinking about yourself and how are you feeling right now in that moment. I no longer check social media as often when the break first happened and slowly you’ll just forget that the person exist. And you’ll become the main character again.

[@leona9482]

Hi i'm going no contact with my ex rn. But it's more like ignoring each other when in person... However it is his birthday in a few days. Can i graduate him? Or should i stay silent? We broke up just a week ago

[@beaker7353]

​@leona9482 no don't break no contact. It'll intrigue him more if you don't wish him happy birthday. Be strong. I know It'll be tough.

[@leona9482]

@@beaker7353 alright. Thank you. But couldn't that make him thinks that he is so unimportant to me that i dont even remeber his birthday and then he wont want to reach out in a few months?

[@beaker7353]

@leona9482 I get you completely, but he's going to wonder why you haven't messaged. Maybe you're on a date or a fun night out. Turn it around. If he didn't wish you happy birthday, your mind would go into autodrive. Thinking who's he with who is getting his attention. And you would reach out to him. If you message, he thinks you're just sat pining over him and he'll click his fingers, and you'll go running back

[@leona9482]

@@beaker7353 okey even makes it easier for me i dont have to think of a birthday present XD. The thing is I'm wondering if out no contact rule is even on a level with what is talked about in these "get your ex back" videos because wo don't completely shut off. We have a high snapchat score together and still send one or more snaps each other every day. Not to each other personally (just to hold on to the score) but that means we still have a slight insight on the others life. I dont want to stop snapping and lose our score. But also because I DO want so see what he is up to sometimes.. Tough I feel like if i DID stop sending him snaps, he would feel our disconnection harder. Is this still no contact? Will it delay his potential come back? Mind you we dont show ourselves or talk in those Snaps. Its just either food, the sky or just unpersonal stuff...

[@DeeLee-ry9qh]

Wow I needed to hear this. It's been 4 days for me for no contact. First few days were hell.... But I realize I'm abandoning myself and putting way too much focus on someone else for external validation. Thanks for this video 🙌

[@moogsify5718]

Now you’re 3 months in, how do you feel? I remember those 4 days. You wake up depressed every. Single. Day. Now I’m at a month. I’m a bit better eh.

[@lionhearttt3540]

​@@moogsify5718 I'm a month now too.. feeling abit Better

[@glennkeese7922]

I've been I no contact 40 days with my avoidant dumper, she spoke with me very briefly at church a couple weeks ago to ask about my mother. As we were parting she reached out to hug me, on order to pull my energy back ,I stepped back and said no don't do that, her look was as if I had slapped her .

[@sabrinaszabo9355]

It is important. Every time I think of reaching out, I think to myself, he literally threw me out like garbage. I would rather be alone, then go knocking at his door uninvited.

[@sabrinaszabo9355]

@@glennkeese7922 She lost those privileges at this point, I think that’s going to make her consider what she’s lost. Continue to be polite and empathetic, but detached. Good for you, at least you have your dignity and you’re not abandoning yourself. That’s the most important I will not knock on my exes door, uninvited after he threw me out like garbage abruptly without any concern for my feelings. I still cry every day, maintain no contact about 40 days.

[@bp51082]

You nailed it at the very end: people don't want to focus on themselves because turning the attention inward is hard. People don't like doing hard things. I have a different view than some and have been loading up on these videos 8 weeks into NC for kind of an opposite reason: I do not want to want them back. I'm endeavoring to "level myself up" where what I'm looking for and quite frankly the league I'm playing in are different. If they were to come back and say and do all the right things at some point, soft "maybe" that I would consider it, but that gets weaker by the day.

[@fitforfreelance]

I think it's because they understand that they broke up with you, so they shouldn't really be reaching out to you. Either they were seriously de-attracted to you at breakup, or they silently miss you. Meanwhile, you're in a high-motivation time of self-improvement, having more fun, building yourself up, and making yourself more attractive to everyone. You can't go wrong with that. However, the ending of this video is the most important part! People want quick solutions and have outsourced their self-acceptance to people and things outside of them. That story about the person thinking there's nothing left to do but focus on themselves is eye opening and heart breaking at the same time. You ALWAYS have to focus on yourself. Your health and fulfillment. BECAUSE that's fun. It also keeps you from being clingy, stagnant, boring, etc. Being someone you admire is the cool part of being someone your partner admires!

[@roydied15]

Yeah, touching on your first comment, that’s how I view my ex. I actually went NC mainly to preserve my dignity even if I Never hear from my ex again, which I honestly don’t think I will. She told me literally 48 hours before dumping me that no man had ever treated her as well as I did or made her feel as safe or seen as I was able to and that I basically set the standard from how she deserved to be treated despite us both being in our 30s. Then, 48hrs later, she TEXTS me at 6am on a Tuesday before work telling me she was ending things and gave me ALLLLLLL of the cliche DA excuses that all these videos have laid out. Her “busy job,” that she’s “not emotionally available,” that she “can’t be the person I deserve to have at this moment,” etc. left the door kinda wide open though, again, typical DA style with no closure of any sorts and she never even gave me my things back lol. I sent her a voice note 4 days after she dumped me asking if we could even just “debrief” over what happened? Like if she could just help me understand a bit more of what’s going through her head? I will say I never once got on my knees and begged or actually ever asked her to reconsider at all. I just wanted closure and she never replied. Now, almost a month into NC and I honestly don’t even want her back. A month away from her with no communication has kinda made me realize how much of a loser and a fraud she is and it’s made all this a lot easier. I was actually thinking about her today of what I’d say if she reached out and I think I’d just be silent and not say anything, at least in this time and place. However, I genuinely don’t think she’ll reach out at any point because her ego is just too big and her reaching out to me after dumping me in ANY form at all would kinda be like her second guessing her decision in a way which I don’t see her doing. Either way, no contact has been fantastic for me and while I’m not on social media at all, my friends and family have told me that she’s been posting tons of clout/attention seeking pics and selfies and whatnot on Instagram as well as all these “motivational” quotes about how she’s “free” and “liberated” like she broke up with Jeffrey Dahmer, which with what she said to me right before dumping me, just makes her a complete jackass in my eyes.

[@fitforfreelance]

@@roydied15 poor lady. I hope she gets some help lol. Safe healing to you too. I know what it's like when a relationship breaks and it takes up a lot of your thinking

[@carstenwemeldinge]

I started "no contact" (idk why it always sounds cringe to me haha) as a means to ultimately get my ex back. I started working out more intense and decided it was a good time to get my motorcycle license as this was something I wanted to do for a long time. Getting it made me very happy! After getting my motorcycle I met a great girl through the local motorcycle community here. We've been on a few dates and honestly I havent felt this happy since my breakup. More great stuff is on the horizon too

[@tonyrehal218]

I think that most ex’s don’t ever come back and contact you. You can be an expert in this but in reality, every single person is different. We all don’t have the same situation and I think that most ex’s would rather never contact you again.

[@waterlilynymph]

I started to use the no contact rule with my last two relationships and both came back to me in some way, but here is how I learned you must do it: You need to end contact temporarily in a kind gesture of giving them space and letting them know you love them. It’s important because it essentially is the last action they will remember about you. Leave a bad taste in their mouth and your ex will not likely want to come back. Leave with a good gesture towards them that show them you were the one person who truly loved them, then they will always remember this and more than likely come back once they are done being in their “caves”. They will miss you and your connection if you let them go with love in your heart. It’s hard, cause sometimes you want to leave with anger and slam the door behind you, but if you ever want them back in your life, you must always leave them with your respect, understanding and love to think about last.

[@sabrinaszabo9355]

I thanked him for leaving if he was the type of person to dump me by text I said thank you for exiting my life. No wonder you hate yourself, probably left a bad taste lol.

[@leona9482]

Hi i'm going no contact with my ex rn. But it's more like ignoring each other when in person... However it is his birthday in a few days. Can i graduate him? Or should i stay silent? We broke up just a week ago

[@Mark_simard14]

Can you give an example of what to say

[@livid3326]

I wrote a bunch of texts explaining how much I care and how different things would be…I texted her paragraphs and she said we can’t do this right now and then she told me to stop…I think maybe now she might never comeback because I over did it. But I laid all my feelings out and expressed what I had to say. I told her next time we talk it won’t be like this. I said how I felt and told her to have a goodnight

[@louisaklimentos7583]

You better yourself , be a best version of yourself and move on and in most cases the ex will return .

[@robsvtgt500]

After getting drilled by 50 guys they come back.

[@Handleisnotavailable1]

I give it a couple of days tops lol He pursued me for many months, used to contact me everyday, call, ask about my day and listen. We used to make plans to see each other. We had amazing times together. He gave me gifts, we celebrated his bday recently. I was absolutely amazing to him. I was loving, vulnerable, caring, generous, feminine. He didn’t want to fully commit and I walked away. It was done in a respectful, sweet and healthy way. No drama, no toxicity. So, I know it will be weird for him not to receive any messages, energy, attention from me. However, although I adore him, I will remain firm and move on to someone better for me.

[@CyberArabAcademy1]

What happen? Did he contact you? Or did you contact him?

[@CH-yp5by]

Its not that easy to focus on yourself only during no contact rule when you are going through a period of grief, not everything has a switch that they can turn on and off easily to allow them to not think about heir ex when doing activities for themselves to better themselves. You make it sound like its so easy to be able to focus. Your expectations on how easy this process is, is completely unrealistic and just does not correlate with reality.

[@Ididntknowicouldchagethis]

It’s not about getting them back…. Some of us have attachment issues, it helps ME with healing. If I get dumped, that person doesn’t matter anymore, my mental health does.

[@FrancoisMoolman]

Hi. Thank you for spending your time and energy to help us. I think a part of the reason for the 62% non-returns is that some breakups actually happen for good reasons. In fact, hopefully at least 50% of breakups should ideally be because 2 people are simply not compatible for whatever reason (i.e. people don't just break up frivolously). Of course, sometimes it is just circumstance and in those situations I would expect NC to be way more effective, because circumstances change (I hope mine turns out this way. Please pray for me) and people grow. Maybe it would be worthwhile to re-do the study but to correlate it with the reasons for the breakup. In every case where I have broken up with someone, I did miss them and did consider going back but where there was a specific red flag/character trait that I couldn't live with, I decided to not go back and even then it was still sometimes hard. Good luck and blessings to all of you.

[@madlen3015]

It does not matter if they reach out to you or not, if they call or not, if they ask about u or not no contact ALWAAAAYS works because we all are humans with emotions and attachment so there is no way you can go through a break up without feeling some Kind. No matter who broke up or what, keep ur distance and just know that you will be missed in some kind of way

[@Manglor824]

Yep, even if you were friendzoned, they'll miss you a little bit

[@leona9482]

Hi i'm going no contact with my ex rn. But it's more like ignoring each other when in person... However it is his birthday in a few days. Can i graduate him? Or should i stay silent? We broke up just a week ago

[@roserain7798]

@@leona9482 I personally think it depends how things ended and if you see him on a daily basis, like at work or stuff, if you’re in a group of people and they are wishing him, you could do it too, but don’t reach for them personally, remember, they wanted out of the relationship, let them be ! Good luck

[@vangelis3b]

@@leona9482 I hope you stayed SILENT!!!!!

[@veritevraie4433]

No contact works 100% of the time : you re-attract your person or you know that’s over. It’s win win.

[@DeletariousDefenestration]

Or you forget them and grow better as a person to attract the next person. Win-win-win.

[@igorscepanovic839]

You should never have to re-attract Your person when they leave You, It should be worked out while You are together. Western bullshit, I know first hand. And it's getting worse...

[@goldenlifelove7251]

I didnt take away his option to talk to me, he took it away from himself when blindsided me with the breakup. He made it clear that he didn't want me anymore. I doubt he thinks about me, misses me or cares about me the way he used to. It's been 15 days & he reached out on day 10 to wish me a happy birthday. I think he did it out of guilt. He doesn't care about me & probably hadn't for a while. I think he just faked his feelings to be nice to me. Either way, I'm hurt & on my healing journey.

[@err2006]

Don't cling to false hope. Don't waste your time waiting around. Move on.

[@jessicarichards2751]

No contact works 100% of the time if you are doing it correctly. He is right, use it to help yourself move on, focus on bettering yourself. Sometimes the ex will reach out, and at that time you can decide if you even want to let them back into your life. Or by that time, you may have completely moved on. All the while you were bettering yourself, and realizing your value again. With the next relationship, you can learn from any mistakes you made.

[@vangelis3b]

Exactly that! Currently I am a dumpee, but even when I had been a dumper I felt STRONG attraction towards my dumped ex especially when I noticed advanced in their lives!! I had not other choice but to feel strongly attracted to them when I witnessed their moving forward and growing up. And now, as a dumpee and as the grieving period starts to fade away, I plan to progress myself. This will either bring my ex back or bring me a much higher quality partner (i.e. a girlfriend) that will make my ex look like a well fading memory.

[@TheShady380]

Focus on you, and your ex will too

[@KevinBrown-sv3kq]

They won't even know you exist

[@wizardofaus2985]

Pretty sure in the last 3 break-ups my exes have been focusing on other women.. definitely not me 😂

[@johnmcleod9103]

focus on you and you'll find someone new

[@TheBix8257]

Stopped think about the break up & her as much... got a great opportunity at work! Company car & phone delivered yesterday

[@surbhirajvanshi7885]

I believe if someone has decided to walk away or leave or ghost anyone, then it's better to respect their decision and let them live their decision. After my partner left using no contact, I used the same not to be manipulate but understood that he is not worth my stress and worry and I do not need to know what he is upto and he has lost that convenience too.

[@itsiko8]

No contact does not work. Forget the idea of gaining ex back ! Focus on yourself and your goals for the current year, this is what I'm doing currently. You do not need to fight to win back someone who does not deserve you.

[@GM-nf4bw]

This was painful to hear but makes sense. Thank you!

[@openarms2519]

So far your analysis is much better than other videos here on utube

[@Icekuma23Chen]

Truth is, heal yourself. Dont bank on the no contacr rule,you are simply settinh yourself up. If you heal you can move on,if they come back to rekindle do not let them in without boundary rules etc and by this point you should not let them in easily.

[@themanman165]

The no contact rule works in some cases and some cases it doesn’t I mean 38% say it worked and that number would rise with more time! Some coaches say 30 days sometimes it takes months for them to reach out to you and it also only works if they have some kind of feeling left if they are completely done and over with you no contact rule is not gonna work

[@Handleisnotavailable1]

Where are you getting your statistics from?

[@themanman165]

@@Handleisnotavailable1 watch the video😅

[@Handleisnotavailable1]

@@themanman165 I did. I heard the portion of the statistics and he mentioned 90% I will rewatch I guess

[@joeyrivera553]

I have always done no contact without even knowing it in the past and trust me when i say it does work. With that said.... The best advice ive always gave has been. Dont play games. When you decide there are reasons why there's no other way then to stay away, prepare yourself to be ready to let go! When you go into no contact, you absolutely need to be ready to leave!

[@TheGalilee416]

Amazing video. I think most people have a hard time focusing on themselves (as I do) is being an Anxious preoccupied. We focus our energy outside of ourselves and turning inwards creates the panic and anxiety of being alone, which we are petrified of. This video gives me hope to look inward to move forward. Thank you!

[@atlasmarkets]

I thought it was working and then today I realized she unfollowed me on social media. It's only been 5 days so I hope she's just still processing everything. I will continue NC. I trust that everything will be OK for me. I can't rely on someone else to bring me happiness, I need to dig within because happiness is within all of us, not in another person. This has been the hardest day so far, really struggling..

[@akhilg952]

Any update?

[@atlasmarkets]

@@akhilg952 It's over for good, haven't seen or spoken to her since but I'm over her now. I've already started dating other people. Life goes on. I'm actually happier single to be honest

[@atlasmarkets]

Second update: Turns out she was actually cheating on me with another girl who she's now in a relationship with. Definitely glad I'm out of there

[@h7pubg]

similar situation, it was days and then I realized she went back and deleted the one highlight from 2022 that I was a picture in. it was a picture of my back nothing notable. it hurt me indescribably. she didn’t unfollow me yet but i don’t think she does that to people in general, it hurts so much because the person she has been over the past month is not the person she was the last 4 years and 8 months. I grieve, miss and long for the person who loved me unconditionally even when I could not give much back sometimes. I had my whole future planned with her

[@nishapage2757]

That “who cares” hit me HARD

[@laurafennell9084]

You go no contact eventually...timing matters because doing it purposefully and with a mission of self restoration is much better and advantageous than doing it by default when more negative experiences have happened such as rollercoaster up and down/on and off again status...so people can fight it but the inevitable will happen, better to have some dignity and perspective on your side and go no contact earlier on and maintain it foe same

[@realityjusthappens]

Sounds like if someone is stuck in distraction mode & unwillingness too change or find a way too themselves, then there's no healthy scenario possible. 😢

[@realityjusthappens]

G'day 👻💨 ✌🧡👍

[@Georgemked]

The idea is the following, if you're too attached to the outcome, you're creating too much resistance, relax, double it down, work on yourself because you are the damn prize in your reality and just assume they will reach out because of x reason. It's a proven fact that what you assume to be true, even if false and persisted in will become your reality. So in theory, yes, no contact does work however, if your mind says things like "no, they're not gonna contact me ever again" or "are they with someone already" or "x,y,z bullshit reasons" and go in the victim mentality, you won't receive a contact from them. Know your worth, think positive thoughts such as "of course they'll reach out, they love me or want me or can't wait to see me". Furthermore, for all of you folks out there, check out the teaching on Law of Assumption (TRUST me when I say i've been there with the "no contact thing" and I managed to go from no contact to the best committed relationship with this mindset in a matter of months.

[@NoName-zb1gm]

Not sure what I believe but I know the person I'm having a rough time with and I seem like we're supposed to be together. We've led each other this far into our relationship. It seems we always figure it out somehow. That's my positive vibe but it's real. I'm not trying to talk myself into it.

[@davidwinegar7016]

The no contact rule doesn't work with people who are narcissists. If a person isn't spending enough time in the relationship, it's probably because they are narcissistic at heart and therefore they don't care if you don't contact them. They can't understand even why you're upset that they haven't contacted you.

[@saurabhvimal1008]

I just want to talk again once just to vent out my frustrations

[@kristaa24]

thanks for this it opened my eyes realizing I'm doing a lot right now to make me happier with my career. I'm really working hard to love myself again and doing lots of meditation and self love. 💖

[@Yetihawk]

I literally have NO CONTACT RULE marked in my calendar as a weekly event for the 3 months post breakup. I also have THIS VIDEO linked to it to watch as a “check-in” for myself because it’s one of the best videos I’ve seen regarding self healing during the process.

[@starboybrandon8718]

broke up on sunday night. she borderline cheated saturday night and tuesday i was finally ready to let go. burned everything she gave me (she found out about this) deleted all social medias and plan on doing a 30 day social media detox. in my past 2 relationships i would always break the contact rule every 2 days or so but with this one i’m gonna stick with it and getting rid of social media will help. i’ll update in a month!

[@muhibbotany]

Update?

[@hlonir3176]

Update

[@jadegarner3357]

Update?

[@MrJ2e]

What I personally gather from this is that the advice should be headlined by “focus on yourself” not “no contact” . Most people come on here because they want solutions to the disappointment of an ex breaking up with them. So they should be advised to focus on themselves of which obviously consists of no contact among others. The problem is the advise given is headlined by “ doing on contact” and that’s where I see the issue.

[@fuzzypanda1684]

I've never ignored a girl who rejected me or gone no contact with an ex and had them come back or suddenly become interested. Not once, in my entire life. And I've done it quite a few times.

[@simonthewatchguy6073]

Same here. NC is total BS, especially if your ex is an avoidant type. Sure, some may come back, but only if their backup guy doesn't want them and by that point, it's disgusting taking someone back who has physically been with someone else.

[@afflores]

No contact doesn’t work but loving yourself always does.

[@Swiss_Girl]

Because it did not work for you, does not mean is it not working in general😉 It worked for me with all my three exes I had

[@leona9482]

Hi i'm going no contact with my ex rn. But it's more like ignoring each other when in person... However it is his birthday in a few days. Can i graduate him? Or should i stay silent? We broke up just a week ago

[@booksofsunflower]

@@leona9482 stay silent or just try to avoid them as much as you can

[@paulharrison8612]

The reason most people dont do the working on themselves is because they WANTto think about their ex because it makes them feel closer to their ex, its all they have in a no contact situation, the contact is not coming from their ex so they replace this by thinking and feeling their ex from their own perspective. It also depends on how intense the relationship was.

[@AnotherHammettSnoop]

At this point I would never want to MAKE someone miss me. At first blush, this TACTIC seems dipped in the Dark Manipulation aspects of people who are toxic, AND that can harm people as most people already know. I really appreciate how this presentation reframes why it’s important to focus on the importance of How to use this tactic in a healthy way. Thank you Chris for this post. Brilliant 💓💎💓

[@videowilliams]

It occurs to me No Contact is no trick when you really feel it- when you truly are so shocked and appalled at your ex that Zero Talk is the only possible response- so those who break NC reveal they're really faking it. When you truly want and need to make them history so you disappear from them and stay disappeared, I guess they feel it. Which perversely makes them second guess themselves.

[@robertbenedek4463]

Very refreshing approach. A scientific base in the best sense with a thinking mind, eloquently put, professionally presented. You are someone searching for the truth, the inner fabric of phenomenons, first of all: real data. Impressive work, keep on doing, I wish you stay uncompromized. The most of the brightest minds get sucked in in some form dubious organisations and circles for fame and money. You should always follow your own ethics and morals and staying on the narrow path. I wish you a lasting,strong and loving bond with your wife. God Bless, many thanks!

[@jorgeriera3337]

NC works all the time however it all depends what you consider working. 1 if she cones back great it worked. 2 if she doesn't you improve your life to be a better person and better car and job and body and better self value and more money in the bank account and get therapy to become a better person and you get a new partner and better in every aspect. So let's be honest it works. So when it comes to my ex never came back but everything in example #2 I did so it worked for me and I'm still working on myself everyday. Always remember it's ok to try your best to get your ex back but to a limit after a month of trying the right way not by stalking or going to their home or job so after that keep it moving cut off all communication and move forward. Just remember You will never be right for the wrong person" Good luck everyone

[@moonstar9101]

Excellent video. The only problem I seem to have is that I’m on my own a lot, cos I’m at an age where literally everyone I know is married with kids. So all my activities are solo. I’m getting out and doing things, but it’s harder doing this completely on your own. No one wants to be with a loner! 🤣

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. It has been 6 months. My X hasn't hovered me yet.

[@tonypuzo2555]

Dude, that was solid. Definitely download worthy.

[@droflivelife]

3 months after my DA broke up still nothing. And I'm still traumatised.

[@akasickform]

1. She is never coming back 2. No contact de-hooks you from being addicted to someone 3. By the time it works you'll be over them 4. It only works if you never look back 5. Work on not being so insecure and needy

[@KevinBrown-sv3kq]

All proof that it never works!

[@igorscepanovic839]

I was always wondering why you would want someone who left You back. It is insane. Person betrayed You, what else do You need? Don't give money to those couches.

[@gloriahornby2457]

I went no contact after divorce. I only did it because I have a soft spot for him. I need this time to help me get over him. He sends me messages but I don't answer.

[@jamarsam9217]

Always drops a video at the right time

[@nigeldonaldson1647]

sometimes you need time apart from each other to "see the forest from the trees, to see things more clearly especially if youve argued.

[@dmgproducts8188]

Let me share my story with y’all. In 2023 I was strung along by a narcissist ex and she kept hurting me every single time. Pretty soon I went no contact for a while and she unblocked me and I noticed but never wanted to reach out. I was seeing other woman and found someone I fell in love with and was good for me. We been in no contact for a week now and it’s really hard. I projected my insecurities onto her that the narcissist instilled into me. So I hurt her for no reason. After me and my current ex broke up the narcissist texted me but I’m so passed her. They all come back. Maybe the narcissist wanted validation from me again but I found someone who treats me well. And am hoping she comes back one day. But please take the time to heal before you jump into a new relationship because you will push your insecurities onto your partner.

[@drnovo4222]

Everyone says not to focus on your ex not to do this that ...no one says how? Forget this forget that it is not easy man and that is the truth... Bro we know (almost many of them) we have to focus on ourselves but how? This is the main question

[@wresk]

no contact could be also something like pre-end its just called "no contact" ..for most people its incredibely hard to focus on themseves or something else during no contact, because they feel fear of losing someone they love forever and they feel sadness. 90% of thinking is constantly about the break in relationship sometimes overthinking. It takes lot of timeto make things easier to do or focus on..Life is more compliceted and nothing works for everyone... Something coul be easy to hear and say but extremly hard to do

[@shawntebrave9393]

Excellent video. Currently focusing on myself. I watched another video of yours about doing something you like and starting a small business. I’m in the process of doing that too 😊

[@naysilverspirit5411]

My ex broke up with me but we love each other.. I think he was being manipulated by a close friend who became jealous of our relationship. He was very confused and was sad, I told him to take some space. He said he felt selfish and I just told him it’s important to work on himself to find what would make him happy, however I did say no when he wanted to help me with something he had promised before the breakup, he was sad about it, I haven’t heard from him since.. it’s been about a week 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@skeltdawg2938]

My ex reached out to me 5 days after i told her to reach out if she wanted to work on a relationship and I told her I wouldn't contact her anymore. This was a few days before Thanksgiving that we broke up. It was easier woth no contact until she reached out and she seems unsure.

[@rebachick94]

I will admit that it doesn’t seem that the no contact rule is working. He reached out to me about a month ago and asked why I still wanted to date him. I responded, he read my message and nothing since. I stopped commenting on social media, posting or reacting to anything he posted in early September.

[@joelyvanlelis3728]

How do I handle "no contact" when we have a kid? She has our child, and I don't wanna let my kid feel that I abandoned him.

[@daveroberts4685]

Your the only one that has laid out this subject in real terms..

[@jimdye7431]

I am struggling with this as we are going through a divorce and there are logistical reasons to stay in contact

[@MrWhaatay]

10 months of NC and she never reached out.

[@JohnBoulding]

If your ex SO has attachment issues like FA/DA your no contact time will be part of a different dynamic. But regardless he's right that you should focus on yourself and grow and learn from the relationship. If the ex comes back and has learned and changed or is willing to change you can reconnect. If they didn't or wont change wish them well and move on

[@evanlarson5853]

Apparently, this guy never struggled with a breakup if he is saying he doesn't understand why people act the way they donafter a breakup.

[@user-kn8nh9pw1u]

Brilliant video dude. Thanks for this

[@NotAProducer888]

What? Why would I want to go back to my ex? Why would I want to use dumb tricks to try and get a person back to me who abandoned me? What is this all about?

[@Daath_Morningstar]

You go into no contact with the mindset that you'll never speak to your ex again

[@NoName-zb1gm]

I think no contact is the right word if you want to get back together. In many cases why would a person being broken up with have to employ a rule to not talk to the person who broke up with them? Thay said get lost so that's it. I would call it no contact if you want the person to come back. I think it works when 2 people want to be together or are somehow supposed to be together. So no contact means you're cooling off waiting for the other person. I'm kind of doing this and I hope she changes her mind and contacts me. She created the circumstances so she has to fix it.

[@vitalyalekseyev149]

Thank you so much for this video. It truly put my brain back in place!

[@dandepaz9431]

One of the best videos I saw on the subject

[@adeleswecera4787]

Great video. Great content. By far one of the most helpful videos I have heard on moving ahead with your life because it is so direct and to the point. 🔑 notes: Go no contact(steady on) & figure out what you are going to spend your time on…outside of your ex! Quit thinking: “are they going to do this, are they going to do that? Who cares!” 😂 Live YOUR life. Go for the gusto in life! 😉

[@lorismalls6938]

This is a good video, especially towards the end! Thanks Chris!

[@mchris4111]

very good video my man

[@mrreddington777]

Going through it right now and the relationship was just close to 7 months with today being our anniversary. She doesn’t like being told or called out in things and just exploded and ended it with me. I said ok I’m done too. I’ve been on no contact since then and today is day 13 and I had a bout of weakness but I haven’t contacted her for anything. We work together but remote and I’ve been zero dark thirty. She’s used breaking up as a control mechanism in the past and I’m always running to get her back. Not this time. If she loves me she is gonna have to earn me back. I’m working on bettering myself regardless.

[@Sonibablaa]

It becomes like a want rather then a need for them to come back as the time you spend in NC inevitably makes you that way

[@DiabolikalRA]

She will abuse me verbally and emotionally. Then when I take time to cool down she freaks out and panics to get a hold of me.

[@cavemanlift]

Everytime I go no contact, she will text me and tell me she misses me. We talk a little bit and I try to get put then radio silence

[@thebeardbeastx]

Is I bad I just don't care if I ever hear from them again and just move on. If they text and I feel like responding fine. If I don't feel like it then fine haha I don't care to count how many days it been. I just get busy on my self and meeting new people

[@dolanSWEG]

Its been 4 months, shes not coming back.

[@Breadwinner3690]

I’ve had ex’s check up on me after 6 months even when they had a boyfriend

[@moonwalker_818]

Sometimes it may take years stop waiting though and get on with your life .

[@0ccam5Raz0r]

If you're waiting longer than a month, it really becomes something more akin to mental health issue. Don't get me wrong, try, but your life is now. I say that as someone just starting NC. I intend to give 30ish days but even that isn't actually a guarantee. Its my life, not hers.

[@h7pubg]

@@0ccam5Raz0rdid she ever reach out?

[@droflivelife]

But if they are not contacting you, aren't they ok with the break up!? They are also moving on. I think if you haven't heard from them in one mouth, your waisting your time.

[@SteRiskE]

Watched until the end right the way through and will may be again

[@annabarone8727]

We have not been in contact for 9 days today. Nothing has happened between us. He always coming back but im afraid hes not coming back

[@vanessachavez8781]

So how do i stop thinking of them? I am trying so damn hard and try to stay busy but i feel like the betrayal creeps it's way back into my mind

[@tiffanyrun8742]

I think you have to love you more.

[@asmrsleep3079]

QUESTION..... I have been doing NC for 2 weeks. After a while I feel like I'll be able to talk to him knowing things ended on good terms. He sent "hey" 1 week into NC... when I'm done with it, how do I reply??

[@darwindeeez]

“Hey” is some low-effort garbage. You’ll be able to talk to him, but will he be worth your energy?

[@annsumrall2593]

So no contact is not to get them back its to heal yourself to move on. I am far far far from that point

[@dienlistyarini4337]

Love this video. Different from any other no contact rule videos. This focuses on ourselves, how we enjoy ourselves, and making ex Miss is just additional plus point. While other videos make us focus more on the ex, and thats why no contact rule is not working