After 4 years together, what do we really think about cross-cultural relationships?…

[@jaredfaa]

如果让你为了另一半改变多年以来的饮食习惯，你会愿意吗？ 在一段感情中，你曾做过最大的牺牲是什么？一起来聊聊吧！ Would you be willing to change your eating habits for the sake of your significant other? What's the biggest sacrifice you've ever made in a relationship? Let us know down below! ❤

[@kongxincai1698]

没事，做出点改变会令生活更有趣。加油💪

[@TheGLOSSette]

Yes and no. I like seafood and my husband doesn't. So at home we don't eat it. But when we go out or if he's working late i may eat it. He likes super spicy food i only like a tiny bit. He's white btw and LOVES Lao Gan Ma chili oil

[@PierreWelbec1]

At some moment in life, I had to give up a very nice and lucrative job to be close to her, which I have never regretted. 😊

[@WangJames-zj8yz]

Me (American) and my fiancee (Chinese) have been together for more than four years. We changed our eating habits almost immediately, but it's not a sacrifice for either of us. She introduced me to delicious Chinese food, and I introduced her to the best American food. Personally I think anyone who doesn't like Chinese food just hasn't had the right food. We both make a lot of sacrifices, but her more because we live in the US.

[@raceman117]

跨國戀好呀！ 吵架起上來大家， 自家最地道的語，誰也聽不懂架就吵不起來

[@JayAri]

是的！我觉得任何情侣都会有爱的五种语言之一中的任何一个问题，因为每个人表达爱的方式都不一样love language！因为东方人比较在意服务对方service 而不只是说，而西方人比较在意爱的表达words affirmation！杰里德在中国生活很多年，还是能感觉他变化很大，更倾向于中国人😂 关于过年这个事情确实是很完美的解决方法，我们也是🤭

[@sinkeonglew5359]

好喜欢你们2个，好自然很真实

[@lianaperrella3799]

我是天津人，先生意大利裔美国人，我和先生生活习惯各种小事没有一点共同点，但是遇到大事比如选择健康食品，选房选总统之类的，基本不用说话，那个默契度高的惊人

[@murrymu4632]

时间过的也太快了吧！我从你们在一起的时候就关注了，转眼四年过去，你们俩越来越好，太棒了！ 祝永远幸福快乐！ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@linwong100]

你倆要好好的哦！白頭偕老！

[@jimmyhu4259]

我喜欢你们讨论跨国恋爱或婚恋的视频，希望你们多拍点类似的视频。

[@gulviraalican7118]

每次国内的亲朋好友问我为什么不考虑外国人的时候，我就会说i don't want to explain my cultures in whole of my life.但是现在认识了好多外国帅哥，他们都不需要我解释，有一些都是在中国待过。慢慢的，我也开始接受外国人了。不过 还是得看缘分啦！

[@Maggie-pw9bx]

哈哈哈好完美的方案，十二月飞去加拿大过圣诞，新年又可以过春节哈哈。

[@retto1155]

I deeply relate to Susu being split in half for the sake of pleasing both sides of the family, having lived as the hot potato passing between divorced parents. I was fortunate that for the most part, family gatherings would try to plan around each others' schedules to make sure I could attend all of them (like christmas eve at one household, and christmas day at the other). It got rougher as I got older and had to throw work into the mix, forcing me to make more harsh decisions. Ultimately, everyone got used to hearing how I would be stuck at work for various gatherings, and with how the family has grown so much that it's impossible to reschedule the way they used to, they don't take it personally if I can't make it. Now with one parent remarried and the other parent having moved very far away, we've had to come up with happy mediums so that even if we can't "spend time with family" in a traditional sense, everyone can still be included one way or another, even if it boils down to a quick conversation over text. When I can find a way to spend the time and money to get myself a driver's license, maybe it'll get easier, since I won't have to rely on people driving me around (Canada is a biiiiig place and it's not uncommon having to drive as much as 45 minutes or more to see relatives).

[@fleaveeee1159]

Luckily your family understands the situation. For me, the divorce between my parents was really ugly, they basically hate each other and because I grew up with my mom, every time when there’s a traditional event my dad’s side would just be very salty about me preferring staying with my mom’s side. But like I don’t even know some of my relatives at my dad’s side, and I don’t really feel that I am part of that family, every time spending time with them just makes me feel so uncomfortable. 😢

[@bettybei4552]

大学毕业后04～06留学温哥华，看你们的视频勾起我的回忆。我也是艺术生，没过四六级，但这不影响我在加拿大和美国的生活，因为我的口语超好😊😊😊 关于过年，传统的方式是初一爸爸家，初二妈妈家

[@PORT.design]

Cons: 1. Communication: We are the typical couple where the Chinese person studied abroad. This is important because her English is quite good making communication a non-issue, but also it means that she has more progressive values that align with mine and is familiar with the frustrations that come with living abroad. 2. Food: We don't really have disagreements about the food itself, but there are differences in cooking habits, such as which meal should be considered the most important family meal. 3. Parents: Yeah this is a big one that we have to discuss constantly. It isn't just about being able to visit them occasionally, but we worry about what we will do as our parents start to have health complications from old age. We sometimes joke that we should just move to a third country so that neither side is happy. Stuff you didn't include 4. Etiquette: Living in a cross-cultural relationship you start to notice how a lot of things you do to be polite are natural habits. Wanting to not offend anyone but also needing to do stuff that isn't habitual can be really stressful. For example, I am used to saying thank you for just about any action, but that is weird for Chinese people to say to people you are close to. On the other side, my girlfriend is used to things like China's gift-giving culture, but I just never know what to get or how expensive it should be, or who should get what. 5. Marriage: The processes for getting married in China vs America are really different. Trying to navigate what to do when is really difficult. Also, the Chinese "requirement" to buy a home before you get married has been a pretty hot topic for us. We also are likely going to have to have two weddings, in two countries, at similar times, so that no one gets offended. One wedding is expensive enough we don't really want two. 6. Political Fallout: I am from America, she is from China, enough said. Edit: 7. Cleanliness: We have both been raised with some very different ideas on what is considered clean, good hygiene, and healthy. Pros: Language Exchange: This isn't really true for us because my girlfriend never wanted to be my language tutor. My Chinese is still pretty poor and the type of conversations we want to, and you need to, have as a couple can only happen using English. She is willing to speak to me in Chinese with me a bit more now since no one in her family can speak English and she has realized how important it is for me to be able to communicate with them. CNY: We have never really talked about this one before. On the one hand, it is cool for us to be able to experience more types of celebrations, but I think it can be a con as well because then you feel obligated to do twice the number of traditions instead of using your time off to go travel. Stuff you didn't include Global Perspective: I have a view of China most Americans will never have and she has a view of America most Chinese people will never have. We have seen the pros and cons of both places and don't believe that either country is superior to the other. Summary: Relationships are hard. Cross-cultural relationships are even harder. But if you can get through it, your relationship will just be that much stronger.

[@kongxincai1698]

Very well said 👍

[@TheGLOSSette]

I never wanted to tutor my husband. I might as well say that my English is my native language cuz i use it like 99% of the time cept when I speak Chinese with my parents. And my Chinese is only conversational. He knows a few words but nowhere near able to communicate in or understand Chinese.

[@jaredfaa]

Lots of great points, thanks for sharing!! Also a couple things that you mentioned we haven't ran into yet, but I'm sure will have to face in the future.

[@PierreWelbec1]

Really nice list here, although every cross-cultural couple (involving a Chinese) will experience things more or less differently. From my own experience, I would tend to say that things boil down to open & respectful communication, then the ability to learn from each other and to compromise, and finally to find an individual balance between change and acceptance from both sides, which needs quite some work, too.This is particularly important for cross-cultural relationships of any kind.

[@sontrajamfemininegaze145]

It's been 4 years already. That's crazy. I remember when you introduced her to the channel!

[@WanyingSun-p3b]

理解苏苏，我过年也是，因为父母都在北京打拼，我从小就在北京长大对北京有归属感，但是每次过年回老家就觉得是个陌生的地方，回家就是看老人，除此以外没有归属感，而且父母两家也不是很近300多公里，也是两边跑，感觉过年就是赶路并不快乐，没有在自己的家过过年，也是无奈

[@魏良芬]

喜歡你們倆聊家常呢！👍❤️

[@keniceeunice2644]

Thank you. 跨國婚姻好處是有新鮮感

[@user-vk6ne6uv1y]

Hope you and Susu make this into a series!

[@bubuaju1668]

Down side is definitely we are both away from our parents, as my boyfriend and I are in the third place outside of the cities where our parents are. Advantage is the CNY thing, totally agreed, and the mixture of culture is fun as well.

[@anasscharaf4413]

I love your videos, they are a great help for Chinese learners, would it be possible to put the cc on video this way more people can combine it with various tools for learning and the your videos would be more recommended since KZbin prioritizes videos with cc. Thanks for you help man.

[@jaredfaa]

Yeah, no worries! Just added the cc to this video, and will continue to do so on future videos as well! =) Thank you for your support !!!

[@MrSuen-im4gt]

之前看过一对儿中俄从情侣到夫妻的vlogger，他们就是吵架用英语。我很赞成他们的做法，不去用任何一方的母语，这样对两方都相对公平一些。

[@MrSuen-im4gt]

另外，就是看对方想不想真正好好学习你的语言并融入你的国家的生活，大连铁蛋儿两口子这方面就做得很好！

[@TheGLOSSette]

I consider myself CBC (Canadian born Chinese) though I'm technically not (long story). And my husband is a couple generations Canadian. One of his grandma's came straight from Russia and maybe a great grandma from England. Luckily my mom can converse in English cuz she lived abroad for 35+ years including Canada. My dad's English not as good maybe Susu's level (just saying as a reference). So communication with my husband's side of family and my mom isn't an issue. I know a lot of interracial couples the issue is talking with in laws.

[@藤原由紀-n5b]

无论国籍种族宗教信仰有何不同，只要在一起是幸福的，那就是最好的👍

[@nicolewinniethepooh6243]

最后一点超赞，也是因为你们俩都打心底里愿意接受来自不同世界不同角度的观点，才会把这一点归为好处👍👍

[@madster01]

6:30 My reaction when Jared uploaded this video: Jokes aside! Jared, THIS very topic feels important to me because I am in similar position. I wish you guys could cover more questions around cross-cultural relationships. I loved the way you carefully covered this topic and would love to hear more about it (like how you used to cope with distance in the beginning of relationships or learned to understand each other)! 谢谢你们💚

[@jaredfaa]

😂😂😂 Really made me lol! Sounds good, we'll definitely do our best to do a video about it in the future! If you have any other questions let us know! 😆

[@yixuan9213]

会不会因为文化习俗问题有误会发生

[@HeidenPark]

不知道是不是因为杰里德很小就生活在中国的缘故觉得他比那些中外混血的更中国。非常喜欢你们的频道。加油。

[@phng8316]

Come on...I want more of this kind of topic..I csn stick all the way of your marathon chats...❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊

[@PierreWelbec1]

Thanks for sharing your personal pespective on (cross-cultural) relationships. I can relate to it from my own experience, so would be surely interested to see you guys discuss how you resolve conflicts and misunderstandings at various levels (incl. "balance of power" issues). You seem to be enjoying quite a harmonious "cross-cultural" togetherness, so might have some nice resources to share with us, I believe. 😊

[@yuzhang3157]

哈哈，听到好处的第二条，我都跟苏苏共情了，后来发现这个问题竟然解决了，我也跟着开心啦！其实，就算是同一个国家也会出现去哪里过年的问题。。。

[@thesoftwareman]

how did you 2 meet? we've watched dozens of hours of your videos and still never figured that out!

[@PierreWelbec1]

I'll definitely second that!

[@Monica-uw6xn]

没有婆媳问题，娘家和婆家不用沟通😂，挺好

[@ellaart888]

我也独生子女，但是我挺喜欢过年的，小时候我都是两边都去玩，不过只有爸爸那头有红包拿，就感觉是过年出去旅游，要不以前不像现在，没啥钱出去旅游，也没有现在交通这么方便，只能呆在一个城市挺没意思的

[@dtsMQG]

这个话题可以持续下去，不过保持这个节奏就可以了，聊太多可能过于复杂……这个问题对于同样国家不同地区，或者不同国家但都是华人来说，都是很有意义的。 无论是什么样的情况，有效沟通都是很重要的。

[@jameslee2465]

你们俩有夫妻相，要好好地互爱。

[@yuchengguo2359]

我刚刚从加拿大看父母回来中国，去加拿大的时候，北京-香港-温哥华-多伦多 33小时，回来的时候，多伦多-迪拜-北京 30小时，累死人了！机票大概14000左右

[@jaredfaa]

辛苦了！真的是又贵又累！太难了。。 希望机票这个东西能早点降价 🥲

[@Leon_BLP]

太恐怖了，瞬间觉得澳洲飞中国9个小时不错😂😂😂

[@juanchen5308]

一定要生个混血宝宝白头偕老幸福一辈子哦！

[@kevinliu8866]

这个真要亲手经历感受了才能有权利说一下，我觉得你们总觉得这些已经非常客观真实了

[@arossaos344]

什么跨国？？海南几时独立出去了？？还是被割让？？😐

[@panorama7654]

哈哈哈哈哈哈

[@dandercuria7580]

hey, I was waiting so long to watch these types of videos, hahaha. My question is, How do you Jared deal with the residential stuff in China? Do you need any visa to stay in China with SUSU or you have already gotten the permanent residence ? How is that stuff?

[@PORT.design]

I do not know about them personally but it is really difficult to get a permanent residence permit. The easiest path (assuming that you aren't stupid rich, an athlete, or something else that makes you extremely desirable to the government) is that you need to get legally married, live in China for 5 years without leaving the country for longer than a month per year, then you are allowed to apply, and if you are lucky it will be accepted after a year or so. It should be noted that even with a permanent residence visa you still need to apply for a work permit every year.

[@eek8605]

我不是中国人，但女友是中国人，她跟我说”我离开中国我为什么找到中国男朋友”and I think the same lol, 我们有文化的人哈哈

[@fixxundfertig]

This was great!

[@jaredfaa]

Thank you!!

[@voidlegend7442]

两个人颜值都不错🙂

[@georgesafrica5503]

我南京人，我的他南非人，24年了，还在一起。让步和妥协吧。

[@jaredfaa]

羡慕！祝福你们！一起加油❤

[@leoli1589]

南非南京都差不多啦😊

[@rais8309]

南非黑人还是白人

[@qaqwer23]

嫁黑人，產黑二代，黑人玩完就走，黑二代留在中國。又或者在找下一個？ 時間拉長黑人就會把中國人趕出南京，就像巴黎一樣🎉（可以參考法國的生育率，那是基因與事實，不存在歧視） black lives matter（美國）？ 最近烏克蘭戰爭有些跑到英國，那些黑人討厭烏克蘭人，希望她們滾回他們自己的國家😂 歐洲的經驗就是給亞洲的警示，嫁黑人就該去非洲或去他的國家，黑人解決方案詳情可以參考日本🇯🇵俄羅斯🇷🇺為這個兩國點讚

[@qaqwer23]

一堆非法黑人，一到中國就剪護照，隨便搜。 黑人基因強勢問題有多嚴重？去看世界人口比例統計，在高強度的人口爆炸問題上，黑人還可以整天做愛😂因為生完就跑沒壓力，沒責任。

[@tijulia1435]

支持你们❤

[@tommym4539]

蘇姑姑那裡的新年爸媽各自回自己娘家不是全國通一的，我們廣東這邊不會同一天到娘家的，都是分開回去

[@arossaos344]

是的，广东人，年三十到初一都是男方家庭，初二才去娘家。。😁

[@ZoeeL-ww5fy]

过年的问题可以把爷爷奶奶外公外婆接到家里一起过~

[@IllusionQueen4Eva]

Thankfully I'm a Chinese Canadian who speaks both languages and eats both Chinese and Western dishes 😂

[@lavenderlee6896]

最关心的问题是杰里德什么时候向苏苏求婚呢？

[@arossaos344]

不喜欢这种善意的强迫。

[@hackashaq8]

彩礼都没有，结婚个毛

[@Gorchi826]

The best couple ❤

[@Serrieanna]

最难的还是文化和价值观吧 比如说如果一个印度男生和一个中国女生想结婚的话，彩礼和嫁妆基本上谈不妥 - 因为印度婚礼都是女方出钱的，而在中国基本上婚礼新房之类的大多都是男方出 或比如说欧洲国家，离婚其实听普遍的-没什么一生一世一双人的憧憬

[@zenoslee8945]

不存在这种情况吧，中国人与外国人结婚，一般不会再按照中国传统行事

[@malagebide]

你这个难点很多人一开始就不会在一起

[@rouawekgudank7619]

我也是跨国，都五六年了，日子又不是过不下去，接着过呗

[@xiaohanjiang4960]

我前男友因为不喜欢中国把我分了。20 年的时候。 后来第二天就开始刷你们的视频。

[@graceliang2227]

那不是真爱你😅

[@Crom21]

love you guys.

[@linwong100]

可以做-个你倆结識经过的视频嗎？

[@weike3062]

博主，纠正下是Chinese new year. 而不是spring festival

[@arossaos344]

在中国就叫春节。

[@yvonnewanda]

Lunar new year, Chinese new year, spring festival…都指一个意思不要那么计较

[@arossaos344]

@@yvonnewanda lunar new year就cannot了。那不是中华民族的新年。是韩国和越南的新年。

[@你猜-c1r]

​@@arossaos344 为啥？lunar new year不是指大中华文化圈所有版本的春节嘛？

[@arossaos344]

@@你猜-c1r 自己慢慢细品 kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYLNmp6Br6umpsk

[@giliguluedinburgh]

Your gf looks like my fave Chinese tennis player right now. Qinwen Zheng

[@Brick-Life]

Very interesting

[@csliuchang]

过年在哪过也算个事儿了？今年在爷爷奶奶家过明年在外公外婆家过。

[@tinachen8299]

过三十那天，一年去爸爸那边，第二年去妈妈那边...

[@mydogisbailey]

Jared is amazing omg

[@manu4ever249]

关于饮食习惯的问题还好 我刚来美国的时候天天吃汉堡还是觉得好吃 😅

[@Vincent-yf3pn]

就想问个关键且敏感的问题，up主视频里没有谈到，就是生理上可相互适应..................

[@sophiachen5236]

哈咯杰里德和苏苏 我和男朋友也是中加情侣 可是我们住在美国 两个人离父母都很远😭 有空可以找你们玩嘛🥹

[@sophiachen5236]

过年我小时候也是两边跑 出国后8年没回国过年了😢

[@sophiachen5236]

我男朋友在自学中文 但是进度是比较慢的 我觉得大部分沟通用英文有点累 因为我感觉英文没有中文简洁 我和男朋友都喜欢脱口秀 看英文的没有问题 但是中文的很少有字幕他就看不懂了 感觉中文的脱口秀也比较难翻译

[@TMM6900]

Please do a follow up video!

[@carlosw5572]

凯文结婚了

[@yeahannie-ym2nv]

请问 孝顺英文怎么说😂

[@姑域]

混血寶寶漂亮聰明, 能承傳中西文化的優點。

[@뿅기]

哈哈哈我也想过两个节日，但是没有钱飞来飞去

[@thistemba]

互相利用

[@蛙又破防]

蚌埠住😂😂😂

[@CharlotteMurphy-mr4lc]

苏苏是哪个大学的呀

[@我喜欢你-y9v]

我喜欢这个视频

[@leoc9154]

给老人买个新手机，刷短视频，拼多多，养个宠物，也许可以缓解寂寞。

[@carashi4281]

好甜，什么时候结婚~

[@ob2266]

小lin 吗

[@荔枝荔枝-l9h]

苏苏每年去一邊😂⋯⋯

[@shootmachine]

两人每年飞一次加拿大，费用也不小。

[@jaredfaa]

希望机票早点可以回到正常价格😂

[@shootmachine]

@@jaredfaa 我下个月从西班牙回国，机票都有点心痛（700欧单程）。我这次是五年没回了。这也是最后一次坐飞机，以后就待中国老家不出国了。前前后后在西班牙浪费了12年。12年里一共来回4次。我真的要下定决心以后不要把钱浪费在机票上了。

[@yixuan9213]

@@shootmachine 是在国外做生意嘛

[@shootmachine]

@@yixuan9213 最初是因为结婚才出国，后来就是纯粹宅家里。

[@Kenny-vd5cw]

只要是真爱

[@wuweilin]

早些年網路還沒那麼發達時更辛苦 都只能靠打貴死人的長途電話😢還不一定找得到人

[@maypayten6812]

来了

[@da_sukhbat]

想听 Kevin的故事 🙄

[@Mimifox150]

❤

[@yume_channel1226]

苏苏长得像王紫璇

[@GM-ml8kf]

他们两个更像是合作伙伴，不太像情侣。

[@Soslee9]

凑合过吧 还能离咋滴！

[@WanyingSun-p3b]

我未婚夫美国人，除了饮食，思想观念可以说他就是一个说英文的中国人

[@shawnz401]

吵架比较困难 想说说不出来

[@austinl960]

🤠

[@csliuchang]

结婚以后俩家人一起过

[@丁小天-s3d]

还以为要分手了呢,失望

[@pmwyy]

苏苏的爷爷太霸道了😢 越强求，越道德绑架，就越不想跟你一起过年。

[@lilyz9897]

还有个好处，生了孩子全部回国内上户口，全跟susu姓，susu爷爷就有嫡亲的重孙子啦🤪

[@shootmachine]

封面不是说有没有后悔吗？所以你们有没有后悔？

[@jaenomercy6483]

后悔？后悔就没这一期视频了

[@Bouncyyyyy-c1n]

没有情侣那种黏腻感，比较生分的感觉。

[@intergrieren]

这基本上不算外国人了。。。。

[@xuexizhongwen]

Cross-cultural? Isn't Jared a CBC, though? lol jk

[@wf3074]

第二👍

[@phoebewang4199]

居然逛大统华😂😂

[@jadeyang202]

你们俩太懒了，多长时间才出这么一个视频

[@lowaz4745]

这姑娘喉结有点明显

[@wangmaggie6758]

实话实话 你们俩的视频很寡淡，不精彩