After Ego Death, "How do I get my sense of self back?" (Rebuilding My Identity)

[@darriant]

I found through ego death an endless series of questions, and when I realized I am a person who enjoys asking questions, I began to see myself more clearly. It's become a massive part of the stories I share with the people around me. Questions can be as powerful as answers, and finding the right ones is an important part of the journey of identity and of growth.

[@darriant]

For a while, I carried dissonance about not having answers. I found a yearning to return to the world I once believed existed, a desperate desire to not ask questions, to not see what I've seen. But that dissonance subsided when I saw questions paved my path into the vast unknown, and asking them was part of my contribution to human consciousness. Thank you for making these videos. It's incredible to know there are similarities between our journeys. Isolation feels inevitable when the ego dissolves and knowledge becomes subjective.

[@tmxboom]

I also experienced this. I realised I love asking questions, making theories (not like some schizo thoughts ofc), thinking about everything and nothing at once, talking about psychology, impossible but realistic concepts and problems. After my last time I started taking more time and asking more complex questions and answering them myself as well as I can (theorising etc.). I really like and grasp philosophy and psychology, but even after that experience I know it's not my way. It's what I like to do, but I don't want it to be my future. My future is music, chemistry, electronics and my dream of creating a weed company when it gets legalized in my country. Very nice, but abstract and petrifying experience, but taught me a lot.

[@masinalima]

ego death is wild and everyone's journey is so different. It really is so interesting.

[@sivadlamaj]

it took me sooooo long to get my identity back (almost a year and a half) and one thing that made me come back to myself was finding friends and company that accepts me fully. not just tolerating me. and during that time i didn't want to party or do many of the things I used to do so the people i now know the people who love me now really love me for me

[@metrovalleyJAMZ]

I’m in the process of this right now and honestly it’s so hard bc it doesn’t seem like im enough for anybody right now. I kind of just want a hug at this point 😅

[@carrieon2912]

Feels very much like my experience masking as a child with undiagnosed autism

[@thavaettershank1347]

Me tooooooooo

[@JavonColeman]

During my first fully fledged meditation session after my ego death; when I had asked myself who and what I was I received the answer “pure Love” it makes me wonder what others are at the most basic of levels.

[@ABeautifulEarthForOurChildren]

Everyone is pure love

[@strawberry_rubarb]

@@ABeautifulEarthForOurChildren no.

[@strawberry_rubarb]

i should ask myself that

[@ykiiren9477]

what if i have no answer n the ego after the death just feels like personality data on a diffirent hard disk?

[@tbill99721]

I love that you used the Theater analogy! I had been performing as an actor before my awakening and afterwards it felt nearly impossible. I’d step out on stage and no longer be able to fall into a character. I was constantly conscious of the audience and of myself! It’s like my whole being would not tolerate anymore “fakeness” whatsoever.

[@littlesometin]

Does this have a name in psychology? Do you know more about this? I experience the same thing and it's making life much harder for me. Especially in the workplace where you always have to wear a professional mask of some sort. And I can't fall into mine as seamlessly as I used to have.

[@deniseturner3429]

I went through ego death experiences by shedding limiting and negative beliefs that were programmed into my subconscious. However, I also had an underdeveloped sense of self identity and I am doing the work to build a stronger sense of self. These are two different experiences, not to be confused or overlapped…

[@User98681]

I am in the same boat. Hope you’re doing well. How are you now 4 months later?

[@amna11-11]

What really helped me build my identity is questioning all my previous beliefs and accepting that there is no solid right or wrong. Accepting that change is not a bad thing and it can lead to real me. After that, I learned to ask myself in every matter that puzzles me ‘do I really want/like this?’ When it feels hard to answer this question I ask myself ‘if I can remove all the surrounding circumstances would I want to really do this thing?’ This helps me know what I really want without putting too much weight on other people opinions about me or involved challenges. Of course it may not be possible to always do get/do what I wanted but it makes me feel that I’m in harmony between my beliefs/ thoughts and actions.

[@dianeclayton4936]

I am still working on this. Its been a few years. I have noticed that recently I am honoring small moments when I want a certain food or to do certain activities. I find the hooks to this come from past relationships that want to keep seeing me as my old identity. I slide back into that and then have to do work on myself to get stable and connected to source again. I think some relationships will have to die. I am also aware that things I used to count on such as care taking may not work for me now. This brings up a bunch of fears because I could always count on that for work and relating with friends. I can't see the unexplored potential while holding onto the old. Thanks for your open dialog around this. I feel less alone.

[@niahnicole]

​Yessss!! Much gratitude for Your continued exploration in our collective INNERstanding through Your expressions and art, Rei!🫶

[@dghassen]

Hi Rei, you have no idea how much you are helping me. I was going thru ego death when my ex-fiancé left me last year for another men (an rich American/Romenian guy). I was seeing life going thru me while I was an observer on this void/infinite white space, I was feeling depressed and I didn’t understood what was going on, because inside was void, and outside my world was crashing. Somehow I ended up crashing sofas of friends. Despite of having a well paid job, I had no money to pay the cheapest hotel. I understood while rebuilding myself this year that all the trauma and the void, the emptiness and the way I was treated were the key for knowing myself. I am still searching for myself, and I feel this incredible connection with everything and the universe. The joy of having the minimum today… I can’t describe! And I am full of joy of finding your channel and your videos, where I can identify myself and connect with so many alike travelers, going thru the same. Thank you, much love, Dan.❤

[@bitburner]

Thank you for this. Been going through this myself and not really understanding what it was and this helped me realize what it is now, thanks.

[@mumuuuuo]

In a nutshell, declare your preferences and how you like things to be.

[@bobbymendez4409]

I love that space you pointed out between the ego and the essence of who we are. Whatever falls away will reveal what we truly are. Me being attached to my victim self helped me. I was tired of feeling sad for the person that I created. Love you Rei 🙏🏽❤️ thank you for being.

[@Pujaborah-99]

I had my spiritual awakening after meeting my twin flame. I had my ego death in many small steps but one day I finally lost my identity when I realized I'm not who was being told I am. I just ask god to show me who I am before I fall asleep. The next day I woke up with a realization and energy surge in my body where I literally shouted, "I'm the divine feminine of my twin flame". My name, job, studies, beliefs etc is not me because everything is external to me. I'm my soul who can do anything. When I'll leave this earth I'll go with my twin flame leaving everything behind. Both of us will continue this every single time. Because both of us are made up of unconditional love for each other.

[@bribewtd]

I am currently in a phase, where I did solve the rest traumas, bad patterns of thinking and am integrating my whole spiritual beeing into this realm. It is love to see how easy the answers to this kind of questions always are, its stunning. I love this channel and all the people here. And I love the world. I see how every "normal" person is just a spirit, who did not recognize itself yet. unbelieveable what this way showed my broken ego-personality

[@mirelarajic579]

I thought I should have an identity of an angel. 😄 It took me a year to realize that I'm not an angel and I'll never be one and that was such a relief. Because I like ME and I want to be me. But I am much kinder and loving than before. Everything else is the same. I love food, cakes, books, dancing, etc. I'm still me but much happier, confident and at peace. 🥰

[@Murleenn]

It's so much joy to hear other people going through similar stuff as me growing up hahaha. I relate to your story so much !! I had my ego death a few years ago when I broke up with my ex-girlfriend and started experimenting with psychedelics. When my girlfriend was gone, I basically lost my identity of being a boyfriend, and that was a huge part of my life. I spent all my time with her and u can guess that hurt me really hard but that allowed me to seek to know myself and to learn how to live alone with myself. This feeling of missing my identity lingered for 2-3 years and I started worrying really bad because I kept dissociating and having derealisation daily, I would feel nothing was real like I was in a dream and that I was watching a movie and I was just a spectator... For me, the help for the dissociation and derealisation came when I suddenly got the urge to research Christianity and Islam, I was really against Religion despite being a spiritual person, but I just wanted to see how those people seemed so happy and was curious in what they believe in... I read a few Bible verses which literally made me experience a warm wave of light coming over my mind which comforted me, I then knew it was the real God. I kept researching and reading about the so many misconceptions I've had about Christianity and I felt spiritually guarded, I now had Jesus to look up to as an example model of what I should be, how I should behave, and know that is what God wants me to be and I haven't dissociated since, 8 months later. I quit all drugs, I quit smoking and I'm on my way of quitting all of the bad habits that have been ruining my life, but now with God by my side. Again, congrats on the high quality videos and I pray that the magic of Christmas will fill your heart with warmth and joy, and may the coming year bring you success and fulfillment. 🙏🏻

[@bObsy.]

have you found your purpose yet in life your divine soul mission or are you still trying to figure out what you want to do carreer wise?

[@Murleenn]

​@@bObsy. Depends on what you define as "purpose in life". I'm only 23, and I thought of stuff I would love to do for work but I've never seen anything and said "Yeah that's what I want to do for the rest of my life" yet. As for the "divine soul mission" I will try to judge everything based on the bible teachings so I can have a coherent and clean conscience about my life goals. Can you please elaborate on how you found yours?

[@bObsy.]

@@Murleenn i haven't found mine yet so i am looking for information everywhere she has 2 videos about purpose aswell on her channel they are informative and other people talk about it aswell what i got from all of hem is that your soul mission that carreer you dream of even if you dont know it yet will flow into your life if you are on your path eventually you will know see signs and ideas so it'l happen naturally but i guess i have to wait and see haha :p

[@Tara_S25]

Thank you so much for this video 😊 After my spiritual awakening 7 years ago, it took me almost 2 years to be able to fully function in society. I struggle to talk about myself to people because I don't have a sense of 'I'. The issue is we come off as unauthentic in this ego centric world. I made a list of things that people generally ask and try to stick to them to be consistent. People don't like inconsistent people because this makes them unconsciously hard to trust you. Thanks for sharing your experience. 😊

[@OnenessAndLove]

After Ego Death, there is a confusion of identity until you realize you are still on Earth, but this time as an instrument of God's Will. Not my will, but Thy Will. This helps you with identity. You identify as an instrument of Spirit, as Spirit on Earth. Also it is helpful to add the words I AM in front of things. I AM calls the Power of Spirit. I AM unconditional love. I AM abundance. I AM gratitude. I AM worthy. I AM happiness. I AM service. I AM The Will-to-do-Good. I AM Divine Power. This magnetizes the universe to implement Divine Will. As long as what you do is for the highest and greatest good, from a place of Unconditional Love, the universe will respond.

[@Jade-ph1he]

Amazing, helpful and cool!

[@alexandraxxo68]

Oh I’m very confused at the moment but this attitude of trusting a divine will is very very helpful 😊

[@ghasaqkareem]

An instrument of God's will That's exactly right! Thanks for sharing

[@leselle777]

Happy Holiday. Happy Solstice. Good and Thought out video. You worked through your transition by participating in your contrast...what you like and not like. An ego death for me is ongoing. I see it as levels. Ego is not bad, it helps with my Action, it should not be the leader though. How I managed and still cope: is by identifying and focusing on what feels better for me...what resonates. My thoughts, my words and my natural actions define me, because it first was an inner creation an inner choosing from me. The real truth of Me was always there, just mostly not on radar, I focused on how I felt which became a choosen creation and no longer influenced by the outside. The real me surfaces from within me. It was truthfully always there but now certainly more pronounced. Have a great 2023 into 2024.

[@EnigmaticVeilofMystery]

That makes so much sense. I, myself, am currently in that in-between state of figuring things out. Still trying to accept and move on and grieve that part of me that "died" as well.

[@TheChoice2121]

What helps me rebuild my identity…(I still really struggle to feel real especially when I’m around other people I just see them and I’m like THATS ME I AM YOU, YOU ARE ME) which is true…. But I’m trying to find ME. Anyways…. Getting back to the point lol what helps me regain my ego is what excites me. Literally what excites my body. I do those things

[@RegardsRei]

Absolutely 💯

[@TheChoice2121]

@@RegardsRei thanks for the vid lol I was def one of the people asking for your help on this

[@RegardsRei]

@@TheChoice2121 Ohh, I'm glad I made it. I hope my story helped 😄

[@mylinhha7341]

Thank you for your video. I experienced the identity death 3 years ago, after that, I kept wearing masks that I thought it was me until I found everything is impermanent and so am I. I found I myself change everyhour, everyday. I showed myself differently to different people and continuously changed my perspectives regarding a matter. It somehow makes me feel free. But I am struggling a little bit when I was in a job interview and they asked me to show myself, I was kind of not knowing what to say. I felt like having no identity kind of stops me from having a job or a normal life because like you mentioned in the video, I dont really know what I want/like 😢. So for me, it is like the universe stops co-creating things for me 😢.

[@RegardsRei]

I totally relate

[@okuzen3237]

You can start to learn and study about yourself more, always ask for help from universe or spirit guides, even I was lost in my career I just dunno what I like the guides helped me alot and now I found my career, they helped me finding new hobbies and more you have to become more self aware, and aware about environment, Google how does universe speaks to you pay attention to signs, messages

[@limolnar]

Wishing you all the best for the New Year, Rei! Strength and love for the trials of 2024. Chin up and remember you and your message matters.

[@AdelChems]

Thank you for sharing ❤

[@ayushmaned1669]

Arthur Schopenhauer stated "You can do as you will, but never will what you will." This profound quote explains how the self is in constant conflict between the consious and the subconscious, as the person is delusionary about thinking that any potential autonomy is that which of our own will but ultimately it's the unwavering will which is the predetermined ego.

[@arvaakswish3853]

Hi, I don't know exactly know how to put things into words Rei, But I had gotten myself into a death ego and it lasted all night and it was awful. but the death ego blocked out the flu I had and on top my genetic disorder. also I've always wanted to try to get in touch with you on media one day if that day comes. I admired you're videos as they inspired my spiritualty to keep going to unknown heights. And I thank you for helping me reach that level and happiness. it may sound strange but not really to spiritualness as it is more emotion attached than expressions or words. I've always wanted to meet someone who also has spiritual illness like me as well, I can certainly say my experiences are very different. Also I was born in 2004 and some people say 2004 births dont exist.

[@Albertoc33]

Hi Rei, I’ve been struggling with the question “Is this me or the ego?”, people tell me to be myself but I dont know if im being myself or if it’s the ego 😢

[@sanstar2007]

Hi Rei. Your videos are so profoundly meaningful. Thank you!

[@amandabame7981]

I have released all of my identities but now I feel confused, I have faith that everything is for my highest good so it's kinda like um okay now what do I do? Gods got this and we're all safe, now what? Who should I be? I realized that I can be anyone because I went through that faze, went from hairdresser to forklift operator to owning a business to now I am a cook at a high end restaurant! Still not sure where or what I should do, and certainly not what I like. I will start to declare out loud from now on and see where that takes me 😊 thank you for the video ❤

[@GalacticApocalypse]

I feel some sympathy for you having had to go through this while figuring it out on your own. Your videos help me feel less in it on my own.

[@BenCassani]

I love your style of animation; I'd love to learn more to make videos in your manner of style. But of course, that's your secret sauce... I can understand if you don't share. I really like this idea of personality that's authentic and pure will. "Tied to our DNA..." I also think it's tied to our spiritual DNA or energy DNA, that's just my belief. Yet the pure will concept I also find intriguing. Anyway, my wife and I love your videos.

[@JCnordic2983]

Ibrecalled alot of my child identity, was free of judgment and i could communicate and be close to anoials and nature.

[@hobbytreyi]

4:17

[@juliehajkova5269]

Thanks for your videos, helpful a lot❤

[@67daisygerman]

I’m so thankful for your videos ❤

[@AchemySoul]

This made so much sense to me! Thank you

[@addiraines]

I love this. Thank you. So much.

[@sami_miracles3544]

Omgggg thank you so much!!! You are saving my life right now. For me the ego death really really started 2 months ago. I think I was also developing narcissistic traits which I can see now. I am completely shocked of my old self. It is so scary. I don't know if I will survive this. I even started researching if I am actually a psychopath or a sociopath, because it feels like I have lost the need to react to anything. I try to remember times where I felt in love or felt any kind of feeling to really not go crazy. Thank you very much for your videos? Did you try subliminals. Thank you. I hope I get through this because I have lost all motivation.

[@misterturtle]

Still trying to figure it out

[@vergaron4248]

I think im going through one right now. I dont know what i want, i dont know what i like anymore and i dont know who i am anymore either. I feel completely lost right now and dont know how to get through this on my own. As soon as i think i've found something i like and can be passionate about a draining feeling comes in and sucks the passion dry before it can grow.

[@donal449_here]

after watching, i felt that really there is one who can understand me 😅

[@olgakononova6972]

O gish, from your video I have realised that my ego hasnot died yet. I want food and some things. I observe more and many beliefs have fallen away but theree is still my personality.

[@ayushmaned1669]

Even that consious declaration to be, there must be some subconscious basis which withstands the declaration. Meaning it's already determined what's the declaration is gonna be by the subconscious; the ego.

[@SHIVAAAA100]

This came right on time 😢

[@bObsy.]

After my awakening my i thought that i was enlightened suddenly i was in la la land but my ego was still there i was getting a spiritual ego on top of it but slowly when my journey continued i started losing my ego and now i am in a phase trying to figure out how to be without an ego but still be myself because i did like my ego in some cases playing videogames i was a very competitive person and not anymore out of nowhere but i want to be that competitive person that i was it brought joy to play game and be passionate about winning i became it's okay if i don't win its okay if i do life is about peace and joy but i miss the let's fucking go moments hahah so yeah im in the middle trying to find balance want to get my character/charisma back but without an ego being humble about it i guess i think big part of you is still within you you gotta tap into it and you'll get back to it in a way better way without the ego in a Godly way my explanation could be a bit messy but yeah hahaha

[@SighDown]

I don’t understand why one would want to rebuild their identity after an ego death. Isn’t the point was to live as a free, eternal being instead of trying to return back into a personal self, which engenders ego?

[@Murleenn]

for me, it comes with dissociation and derealisation problems which are literal hell

[@poxyfairy]

This video is so weird for me to come across right now. I recently started tarot for myself, and just yesterday it came out with speaking things into existence. Now here you are talking about it. Mind blown.

[@ravenmischief8006]

6:07 What have you found, is the good and bad?

[@purchasingofficerwkpp685]

I have a question....why is ego death desired in a spiritual journey if it is that afterwards you need to build back your identity? 🤔🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[@thomas-harley]

building a conscious ego after operating from an unconscious ego

[@andybreadley429]

They are bullshitting you, that's why

[@anastasiashkarpinets1415]

Because spiritual awakening is a scam, you don’t need to ruin or kill your ego. You have to reject sin which is pride. Listen to what Jesus teaches. There’s no such thing as ego in the bible. But there’s pride - mother of all evil. Spiritual community teaches us that ego=pride but it’s one of the biggest deceptions. Healthy ego is a good thing. It’s your soul. It’s your emotions, thoughts and spirit. The one who wants it’s destruction is the evil one. I hope you get it. Stay safe. God bless. Love you.

[@iamtamadtv6018]

It has been 3 yrs of awakening but I don't know if I reach ego death. I don't even experience yet what they call zen. What I can say I feel better than before. There is still anger energy inside of me. My awakening is like a turtle I think but I think it is not bad.

[@saadhassan5724]

I want to be alone for many years. But in these days there is a very intensive energy that vibrate into my chest. Basically I meditate some words for about 13 years. But now my heart beat increase and energy overcome myself. It seems there is something inside, the feeling of joy. But in these days this energy becomes very intense, heart beat sometimes increase and I am worried about it. Plz guide me what to do

[@oober3690]

I've never thought of ourselves as pure will. Do I wholly agree with that? I don't know. I have a Christian background, so I do believe we are made in the image of God. Aristotle said that God is "thinking, thinking, thinking." ( thinking that is thinking thinking - if that makes sense). Jesus (not in these exact words but expounded by Christian theologians) said that God is "loving, loving, loving." St. Thomas Aquinas said that love is to "will the good of the other". So there is that word again: will. So, there is something to what you said about "will". But, we also "exist" regardless of our will. To exist is to be. And theologians and philosophers are obsessed with the idea of "being". After all, God "is". He said to Moses, " I AM". That sounds like the state you get into when you get to your essence that is under your ego. You get to a state of "being" which, I suppose, is what our "will" is grounded in. Oof, I'm thinking real deep now....

[@juliehajkova5269]

Is it possible i experienced ego death for most of my life? I feel like it

[@Goofy-ah58]

My ego took a real hit recently and now my trying to recover but it just feels like something’s missing things I used to do are mundane I tell jokes. With my freinds and laugh but that’s just a mask I can’t even hurt people someone said they wanted to fight me and I laughed it off but just a couple weeks ago I would’ve knocked him down. What’s wrong?

[@DAClub-uf3br]

How do you decide what to like if you have no preference? Isn't the purpose to find your true self rather than rebuild another false self by picking random things to like?

[@ayushabhinav6598]

Hi Rei, thanks for your videos. I have been watching your videos regularly. They are excellent. Just a small question, during your spiritual experience, have you ever asked the source/god/infinite intelligence about if there is life on another planet. Have you ever have vision or intuition about extraterrestrials that may be technologically vastly superior than us, and perhaps who live for millions of years. Thanks a lot for making great videos.

[@Thegreycloud888]

Weird i found god after ego death. God is love ❤. But i just had ego death last night so what do i know lmao. 😅

[@NYawesome4]

I have a question, the ego death has symptoms like you don’t feel yourself anymore and you feel like you’re watching your life instead of living it etc and those symptoms are like depersonalization, so is depersonalization the ego death?

[@alosser6402]

Why did you picture the chicken as dinner 😢 I hope you are a sensetive and kind person

[@AAB-t9x]

But then is having a sense of identity the right thing to do or not having it is okay? Not considering the people, having it back is like getting influenced by the situation or people to get it back.

[@lucatomas5039]

i would love if you do these in dark mode to help my eyes, but may have too much impact on the visual style of the channel .

[@mjwolf9529]

🦕🦕

[@marwanamr97]

I've experienced ego death multiple times in the past. Does that means that my Identity did not fit who I am before the ego death or is there something else? Just wondering.

[@RegardsRei]

For me, yes, that was the case. My identity before was based on not my authentic self but on society

[@superconscious.]

💖

[@Αντώνης-φ3μ]

I’ve never been more confused in my life

[@user-iq4ow3fn1t]

I cant be sure but my conclusion is that after ego death, people cant differentiate themselves from their abusersand for thay reason can't physically or spiritually defend themselves. So I think that ego death is a bad idea.

[@lupereyes3665]

💫🌎🌈💙

[@Thiswayisyours]

This is not ego death, as long as you try to attach things to yourself it is still the ego at play. Ask the question "why do I want to become someone/have a personality?"

[@JCnordic2983]

Yes politics, sectism, culturism all lost impetus. Even activities.