AGEISM IN TANGO - Women and ageism: a real problem, but there are ways around it. Guest: Melina Sedó

[@mattdrat3087]

Interesting chat! I was talking, at a local milonga yesterday with a friend of mine, we are both leaders, and he felt that many women didn't want to practice much after having danced for many years. Then, when a local marathon was announced, they turned up at a milonga or two beforehand to "brush up" before going to the marathon. They felt that they knew how to follow and didn't need to practice any more. I have also enouraged female followers to lead, since they would get to dance more but also as I would like to be lead, both in order to improve as a leader, but also because it is nice to be lead, to not be responsible for navigating the floor and also the feeling of being cared for that I have experienced when following. One female follower I spoke to didn't like to be lead by another female because she felt that it was uncomfortable to be, "breast-to-breast" with a female. I certainly would only want to be lead by a female, I have absolutely no desire to be in such close proximity to another male, whether it is politically correct or not! Thanks for sharing the knowledge and experience!

[@Livingtango]

So glad you are asking a woman about this topic. Thank you!

[@grzegorzptaszek978]

This is all about the energy which people bring, style, health, hygiene, and skills so the chances are there for everyone. However, each dance has a sexual component in which biology works. Therefore, the age of women matters to some leaders and this should be also understood.

[@olgaholguin6339]

I forgot to mention that my community is mostly latino. There is still reverence for older people in our culture. Perhaps that makes a difference?

[@olgaholguin6339]

Dancing skills are the main attraction. I am a female leader. I love Milonga. The male leaders seem to shy away from Milonga. The other women young and old enjoy dancing with me and they ask me to dance. It actually sometimes becomes a problem. I've had situations where I had 3 women that wanted to dance with me. So when I choose one, the other 2 become disappointed. I have had younger women turn down male partners and choose to dance with me. The compliment I usually receive is that I am a better leader than the male leaders. And I am 71 years old. Go figure 😂?

[@saha6716]

hi from UK .. yes a very interesting topic .. I have quite by accident come upon it.. and im so happy I did... cos I have lots of thought s on what you described so effectively and I seem to have a totally different view on the subject. I am a professional person from a completely different background but passionate about tango and dance in general... I never attended Milonga s for a long time for many reasons which I won't go into .. but I totally disagree on so much focus on age... I don't mind dancing with a senior man if he has good dance skills .. if he can lead well .. lead not with his arms ...but through his soul and through a deep connection.. and allow me to express myself to the music. etc.. I have seen many senior ladies .. but im not looking at the wrinkles on their daces or counting the white hairs ... if its a beautiful dancer .. beautifully turned out.. and shows dance presence and moving beautifully that s what im looking at.. if my teacher is senior and looks like miss Marple and teaches just the most boring style of dance..then for sure im not going to attend further classes.. I can go on about this...but I won't..... as for why there are fewer and fewer men.... on the floor ... the short answer most of them are just not interested enough..in the skill and art of technique.. its too much for them.. they just can't be bothered..but if there is a man who can dance and then hey ho .. its a winner.. if he can't dance im not going after him no matter his age.!!! one of the comments below was he did not want to dance with a beginner.. well all I can say is in one line his memory is a big foggy.. we all started somewhere .. its always good to dance with a beginner and to inspire confidence in them cos they are the future of this amazing dance.. and to be interested in improving your skills your attitude .. you dance presence.. and be humble and generous with your time and just enjoy the joy of this beautiful dance is more important.... I don't like dancing tango with women I must admit ..cos I have not met a good dancer .. the ladies just stick to 3 moves..and I cannot feel the lead or read the lead most of the time.. in other dancers I enjoy dancing with women ! sorry my comments on this subject is so long.. I have even more to say ....... I would love to have an email connection to the lady . thanks

[@ludmilaivanova1603]

@ 25:05 absolutely agree! I tried to lead because it is an interesting task for me and met the same reaction. Also agree with the later opinion.)

[@dennisfarley1918]

I like the concept of “More Normal”:-)

[@gregorgiebel1377]

One thing that might contribute to older european couples not being viewed as maestros y maestras is, that you can dance tango in Germany for roughly 20 years. A maestro implies that its someone with a lifetime of experience dancing and teaching. A 60 year old european dancer might have started when they were 40. A 35 year old dancer might have the same 20 years of experience and would have learned much more in those 20 years due to age. Not that someone who started older, in their 30s or even 40s, cannot be a good teacher, but why should their age make them a maestro over a younger dancer with the same experience or a younger dancer with less total years, but much higher skills? The skill should determine. Of course its bad, if people prefer to go to other teachers, just because they are young, but assuming older people are more knowledgeble and competent, just because of their age is equally stupid. Just proof yourself. If you teach well, people will keep coming. If I go to a new city and I want to take lessons, I ask the people I dance with at the milonga where they learned, so I learn quickly where to go and who to avoid. I dont care how old the teachers are. Its important that they teach well and I guess thats how most people judge. For beginners it might be different though and there I can see this potentially being a problem.

[@detlefengel3947]

Quality rules, no doubt, or should rule (not always the case). And "roughly 20 years in Germany" is not true: We can dance tango in Germany sind the mid 80's. Some of us started more than 30 years ago. And like in our case, worldwide.

[@gregorgiebel1377]

@@detlefengel3947 thats interesting. I didnt know. How was the situation back then?

[@ernestopiazola9156]

Important for me follower be not beginner dancer. There are follower are very good dancer, nice walking, know basic 8 steps, nices 8. I go to ask to dance nor matter her age. Same for men

[@Blauvogel123]

I don't agree to the impression that woman put more energy into learning. That's because most classes are focussed on the leading part. Which drives many of them to save the money, go to events to dance a lot with good leaders and think (some really do) learn from them. This approach as well as what many teachers actually teach leads to their understanding of the "following role" as a "getting danced role". Super boring to dance with

[@detlefmelina]

Interesting observation. Maybe I (Melina) have limited viewpoint, but after teaching all over Europe an the USA for 23 years and also organising tango events for the same period of time, I have the strong impression, that the majority of dancers who book tango classes are female. Since we've started teaching both roles systematically, their number has even increased. We find it rather hard to get men to register for classes. But maybe this is because we focus on connection, basic technique and musicality rather than on big moves. Those might attract more guys... Who knows? ;-)

[@Blauvogel123]

@@detlefmelina I really like your aproach of both roles from the beginning on and focus on connection. That's why I look forward to meet your bunch end of june. I really do - although I am generally drifting towards neo. In the last three years I spontaneously only remember one single person with whom I really enjoyed milonguero style apilado and a soft and sensitive connection.

[@detlefmelina]

@@Blauvogel123 You'll be happy to learn that we do not teach apilado style. Or milonguero style for all that it matters. We teach social tango (tango de salon) in a close embrace using tango nuevo methods. And we teach all of our students to stand in their own axis. 🙂 (But of course not all participants of Pequeña are our students.) Looking forward to meeting you!