Howdy! from Hell by DrBlackJack21 | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1065

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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:40 Howdy from Hell by DrBlackJack21
#Audiobook #Fiction #HumansAreSpaceOrcs
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This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.

[@ornerylurker8296]

To be fair, he’s clearly a country boy. You get used to hellish conditions and maintaining polite manners pretty quickly. He’s a good sport that one, he’ll go far!

[@reggiehigh22]

Lower Midwest to almost the South, just one who followed a herd up and down wrangling them, having to put up with boss man's bull while putting up with a pissed off bull. I live in Idaho but as kid Mississippi for a bit, so is it good or bad that I know at least three guys that fit the bill for this. Willey, Justin, and Brandon...maybe August but he cares to much about himself.

[@Furyhound]

If you call several decades to over a century "quickly"

[@_tertle3892]

@@Furyhound in the scale of eternity it is

[@terrorcop101]

Don't you mean "Hell" go far?

[@torunsmok5890]

And probably a bard

[@vedymin1]

That was one of the chaddest stories i heard...the guy turned demons and hell into his own personal paradise, with a house, a demon wifu and a job, all through making his mind and soul unbreakable :)

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

I honestly imagined him being more simple than all that. This wasn't some grand plan of his, Alen is just friendly and lucky by nature, and maybe a little too dense...

[@vedymin1]

@@BlackJack-qg3ws Basically an anime protagonist with the density of a black hole...or maybe immortality and constant suffering changes one's perception of reality enough to be just another friday :)

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

@@vedymin1 more or less what you said. Given enough time humans can adapt to almost anything. This story was kind of my answer to what happens when someone just "gets used" to hell. Remember, Alen's been there for over a thousand years already. Just a weird thought I had at work one day. Decided to jot it down for fun.

[@vedymin1]

@@BlackJack-qg3ws Very cool story, you have a knack at word weaving :) I wonder how many humans in hell could do that and basically make eternal torment null and void becouse of our adaptation...or was Alen an exception :)

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

@@vedymin1 Didn't think it through that far, but i suppose sooner or later everyone would adapt.🤔

[@blinking_dodo]

"flaming clown spiders" Those should NEVER end up on earth...

[@demonwolf8024]

Something tells me that if it does show up, it'll be in Australia....

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

I got that idea from an old "Loading Ready Run" skit. You can probably find it on youtube. 🤔

[@davidragan9233]

@@demonwolf8024 Naw! Washington DC. Problem is though, nobody would even realize they are even there.

[@blinking_dodo]

@@BlackJack-qg3ws i won't. NO. just no.

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

@@blinking_dodo you never see them, it's just a conversation between two "demons" (guys with cheap Holoween devil horns on their head) talking about how to increase efficiency in tormenting souls. I won't spoil more than that.

[@SapphireTheDragon]

I thought this guy was going to be one of those people that were "too kinky to torture" and his version of heaven was hell

[@youtubestudiosucks978]

Are you? I got infinite energy and havent slept sinse i was 10 and nobody can keep up with me. Want to challenge somebody who can make Slaanesh go out of breath? 😏 It's been 30years, i hate it so much

[@SapphireTheDragon]

@@youtubestudiosucks978 I have no idea how to reply to this comment nor do I understand how it relates to mine. Congratulations, you have confused me.

[@LadyRavenEyes]

I was thinking the same thing

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@youtubestudiosucks978 anyone who can take the breath out of slaanesh probably doesn't use the methods that you are interested in

[@youtubestudiosucks978]

@@henrypaleveda7760 i prefer to use the fun way

[@paulhuston9991]

Heaven won't take me and hell still has a restraining order on me so here I am on my phone. Lucky scoch bastard!

[@derekbroestler7687]

I'm totally stealing "Heaven won't take me and hell still has a restraining order on me so here I am"

[@Nomadic_Inquisitor]

Huh... Carved a small piece of Heaven out of Hell for himself... Wow

[@tornic531]

When I read the title and saw it listed as Space Orcs, I was fully expecting some insane intergalactic war with ol Slim Pickin’s riding the bomb again. Instead I got a wholesome-ish tale of hell and love. So nice

[@reikolupus136]

Where you are sentenced to eternal punishment in hell, but instead end marrying your tormentor. Now that''s a true man XD.

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

Anyone heard of "Jerks are worse than villians"? Syndrome causes narrative tension but Bob's boss just mistreats his employees. I feel like Hell just got something like that in Alen,the first human to torture back demons and give them a challenge.

[@Templar1ca]

Demon: How long we been doing this? Allan: Well, I'd wager about 5-600 years, tops. You're almost there too, boy howdy! Demon looking at clipboard: Says here 12 millenia. Allan: Hoo-wee! That's gotta be a record! With all the hours we're putting in you'd think they'd give you a raise and put me on the payroll! Demon: D-do you WANT to be on the payroll? Allan: Well shoot... Since you asked...

[@davidvincent5701]

I want to take this character into a DnD game. As a NPC he'll get a few laughs at the table.

[@blackg0076]

a recurring NPC because they cannot kill him as he just gets a new body and comes back , just to show them the mistakes they are making BRRRROOOOHAHAHA

[@johannesnoneoftheabove9957]

@@blackg0076 Speaking of finding the mistakes, "LEEEEERROYYY JENNKKINNNNNS!!!!!!!!"

[@makethomas752]

Is that an alternative story of Helltaker???

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

Just an odd thought I had at work when i was bored. It wasn't really based on anything.

[@bernardrednix756]

thats what i thought too

[@elfeater1760]

That was actually kind of cute, thank you Agro.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

Most of my stuff has odd relationships like that, not always romantic (One I'm working on has a spider alien that basically adpots two human kids. No romance but still kinda sweet.), but odd. Maybe he'll read another of mine soon. 🤔

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

I could see this guy in a Doom game just chillaxing in a lava jacuzzi and just happily waiving when you go by XD. Or in helltaker 2 as a fellow Chad just chilling in hell

[@diomeadiesrogue5631]

I'm adding this guy to my dnd campaign

[@samueltrusik3251]

Wow, this was really different from your usual stories. Well done.

[@AgroSquerril]

thank you , glad you enjoyed

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

"Even James Coco was begging for mercy after four days." "Less talk, more donuts."

[@Calaban619]

For the Algorithm My ears perked up a bit when Vivian said "all is forgiven".. was hoping Alan would have winked with a smile and disappeared.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

That was actually wholesome. Didn't expect that.

[@AgroSquerril]

I sneak em in from time to time

[@eurogryphon]

That's an O. Henry-level twist. Well done.

[@solcorvinusoftiktok9907]

Haven’t heard that name in a while

[@johns9652]

I'd say he got the Lady, and the Tiger, although that's Stockton, not O. Henry.

[@Soloong_Gaybowzer]

This sounds like it belongs in Saints Row.

[@asurasyn]

Jezebel: "You, uhh, don't really need the gun." Johnny Gatt: "Yes, I do... It's part of my process."

[@LasseROM]

This turned surprisingly wholesome in a wierd way. Great story and narration.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@jessehenson8923]

Great and funny story. Of course he couldn't be broken again, he's from Texas. If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent Texas out.

[@johnpayne5590]

hell is better than texas

[@jessehenson8923]

@@johnpayne5590 Preaching to the choir. I live in TX.

[@johnpayne5590]

@@jessehenson8923 texas is like hell but on steroids while bench pressing the rest of the world

[@tripps3631]

At least it ain't California

[@johnpayne5590]

@@tripps3631 nah california is fire

[@WingManFang1]

I mean….city of bones sounding a lot different now. Also props for finding a way to live in the unlivable, especially if you end up sleeping with the enemy

[@hinterlandseer6379]

Genuinely one of my favorite stories on this site; had me laughing the entire time I'd first read it. You did a fantastic job on this reading, Agro!

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

This was the first of my stories he's read, but they're all a little weird like this. Hopefully he reads more. 😁

[@Crazylom]

Twas was the story of one dude who was weird. He was so weird, he helped demons to get better at torturing. THE END!

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@somuchfacepalm9733]

All for some demon tail. Well, eternity in hell is a long time to not get any.

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

@@somuchfacepalm9733 Well in fairness, I don't know if Alen is the type to look that far ahead. It was probably just a pleasant surprise...

[@seldonwright4345]

@@somuchfacepalm9733 I was wondering when that tidbit would pop up.

[@kurtismiller9544]

Granny taught him his manners well

[@thelaughinghyenas8465]

That teaches you the power of patience and positive thinking!

[@alexrees6969]

Dunno why but this one had me chuckling for ages

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@jdtheone]

Well that's not a usual story but flaming clown spiders is a new one I like it and of course for the algorithm

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

I took that idea from an old "Loading ready run" skit. You can probably find it on youtube.

[@Eramiserasmus]

How is this wholesome? Only through Agro's great acting!

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

Definitely one of the more unusual and imaginative stories I've seen, big kudos to DrBlackJack21, it probably also deserves it's own subgenre classification like "humans are space orcs/humans are weird/deathworlders" etc. stories get... "subverted expectations and wholesome stories out of horror experience" or something like that... this reminds me of "writing a letter to satan(instead of santa)..." has a similar feel to it... definitely needs more anthological entries or a sequel or a cameo to add from/with this :) and it definitely fits in with my other such favourites, such as that supernatural bartending "creepypasta(?)" series... "a bar that serves unusual drinks in exchange for stories"

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

Well there is a subreddit called "wholsomenosleep" its horror with a wholsom touch. Its not a large subreddit, and kind of slow these days, but theres still some good stuff there. I did submit this story to them as well as HFY, even though I'd say it was a little light on the horror side... 🤔

[@TheEccentricJester]

r/hellsome

[@chrissoto7187]

Lol 😂 there are so many dirty jokes! But I think I’ll save them for when I get there.

[@Warutteri]

What an amazing story, makes me wish there were more!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@joshuafuertes4191]

First time I caught an actual premiere! Awesome job! I loved this story

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

This reminded me of a manga I`ve read. About a guy who ended in Hell and had to suffer to pay the Karmic debt (so no endless torment). A cute Oni girl was assigned to him. He like many others tried to avoid the excruciating pain, but that just prolonged his stay. Well eventually stuff happened, he came through and paid it off but in the end decided to stay in Hell with his new Oni wife haha. The torture scenes were rather brutal and gory but its funny how you get used to it when there are bits and pieces of wholesomness sprinkled in between :D

[@hollyferay8131]

That was full of grins.

[@christopherrhodes3228]

That was a *Hell* of a story!

[@DragonRoost1]

Oh gods and hells. HE'S SCOTTISH!! That explains everything

[@jakeand9020]

So his job is to improve demons torture skills by having them torture him. Kind of puts a whole new spin on "my job is torture."

[@samsignorelli]

"Torment auditor" got me laughing until I cried! FANTASTIC story!!

[@IRMentat]

a positive attitude can help you go a long way.

[@johnathanstephenson8107]

Intriguing concept. Some of the best relationships are the odd ones. I like it.

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

I have an habbit of including odd relationships in my stories. Human and 7 foot tall alien amazon, human and eldritch horror, a spider alien hive mind that adopts two human children (not romantic, but still a relationship.), an AI with multiple personalities, another AI who considers all of humanity to be her partner, and more. This was the first of my stories Agro's read, but maybe he'll pick up another. 🤔

[@LORD_NULL]

Reminds me of the story the “blacksmith and the devil” where a blacksmith gives satan such a hard time when the blacksmith dies and has to go to hell satan won’t let him in because he’s so much darn trouble.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

Thank you kindly! I hope he reads more of mine soon!

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

@@BlackJack-qg3ws 💓 💞 💕

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

As an Ozzie the lack of floods, and magpie mating season makes hell seem like a mild autumn

[@lornbaker1083]

So the main character who speaking to the so-called demon is clearly just doomguy only with a more stable psyche. All the capacity to withstand even the worst the Demons of hell can throw at him. But he hasn't lost himself to insane Madness and gibbering foaming at the mouth rage. Instead he's using his mind and digging around with their mental state. That I really like. And it kind of makes sense. Once you finally realize there is literally nothing they can do to you. And there is nothing that you have to fear and no reason to even feel it.

[@zachmansfield6640]

"What are you even down here for?" "You never saw my search history?"

[@alfredsutton7233]

For the algorithm, five words minimum. Good on Alen!

[@voidcore9323]

I heard and read it as Flamig Cow Spiders.

[@dioscurimas1018]

I'm glad I wasn't laying down for the night when I heard this story. Its funny and Fn terrifying at the same time. Heeby geebies !!!!!

[@MrGoesBoom]

14:00 I just realized, poor Vivian had to deal with a Karen! Ha!

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@Bonesaw4444]

May the algorithm support your squirrel farm

[@Captain_p0wer]

Now THIS is wholesome ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@leifjungblom7659]

Loved this one! For the algorithm

[@brianmeadows1137]

My kind of woman, treat her right no matter what kind of hell she puts you through, it's worth her love.

[@skyrere]

so stinkin adorable. I love it.

[@beingsneaky]

How about flaming clown scorpion flying spiders?? Lol

[@Templar1ca]

Thanks, I hate it. Wait for the movie, from the people who brought you Sharknado and Lavalantula.

[@oblivion715]

@@Templar1ca Groovy, I hate it!

[@thunderbird4636]

Funny story didn't expect that ending

[@prestonboord4873]

I hope your back is doing well

[@AgroSquerril]

yup as well as can be

[@carlll6101]

And that was real story of the "Helltaker"

[@SergeyWaytov]

Guy's fucking best ever representative of a country man, hahahaha!

[@secretobvious6033]

well that was wholesome

[@norneaernourn8240]

Smooth. That is a biblical operator.

[@bf-696]

A delightful tale.

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@KroMagnum4]

I'm kinda speechless on this 🤣

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

This story looks familiar for some reason... weird. 🤔

[@carbonbeaker409]

Cat

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

@@carbonbeaker409 he's my coauthor. Sits with me while I write my stories. 😁

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@lloydkeith3061]

Ah,... the principles of stoicism applied to hell. Hahaha!

[@notafrisbee5907]

Awesome one! A bit unusual, but for all the better.

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed

[@blackg0076]

Ex army defiantly , used to the standard carbonized food from the mess hall, so nothing will ever scare him ever again.

[@PoldaranOfDalaran]

That guy sounds like a character my old roommate would play in a TTRPG.

[@ouberfox5898]

I love it

[@iljastalberg5610]

Bha the lad had gone and did it XD

[@Xerdar36]

Talk about looking about the bright side of life… turning battery acid into lemons and then finally lemonade… I like the story

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@santiagoperez5431]

I liked this a lot it was really sweet

[@torkusqerdoon1062]

aw, this was so wholesome

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@johnpayne5590]

Did the man just pull a "helltaker" on her

[@pvtgoo2234]

I really loved this new story!!!'

[@BlackJack-qg3ws]

Why thank you! This is tue first of mine he's read, maybe he'll read more. 😉

[@commanderd-day6290]

Country boy so wholesome he gets adopted by a demon

[@jonnycoathanger8399]

Al Bundy. He knows his way around Hell.

[@eliandervalderen5849]

I can't believe the end of that story. Especially considering what happened to the Tormentor

[@ashesonwool1077]

That was a fun one

[@alexanderjamesaustin]

Damn, thats pretty wholesome

[@joe2501echo]

tbh, that job would be made easier by the simple fact that every single person there deserves it.

[@wholeeyschmoley580]

Hay...EARLY 🎊 CONGRATULATIONz on 1O million viewz ☆!!!

[@royalroses123]

Good Read

[@alexcorl2247]

Scottish cowboy

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@dementededge3266]

Am I the only one who wants to hear Agro sing a sea shanty?

[@jeroylenkins1745]

damn humies!

[@anonimoanonimado1096]

I love your work. Also, first

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoy

[@muhschaf]

given his accent i assume he is from the Aussie Country side called...outback...regarding some rumors of this place, the ninth circle of Hell must be like Holiday in Paradise for him

[@joem1480]

Flaming clown spiders huh? I think I'll take notes for the DND campaign I'm running. At some point Mike players should face them

[@connor_draco_tempest2891]

Allen: *ends up in hell breaks a couple of demons has a demon fall in love with him gets a job on figuring out why a demons torture isn't working and marrying a demon becomes a Chad*

[@bathroomprophet2310]

Ha , fun.

[@linus8380]

the scotsman alen is now esentially the Torture Dept. therapy device for their employees

[@linus8380]

i commented this before i heard the ending.