A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy. Blessed be the peacekeepers. second story is just "let me explain just how badly y'all have fucked up."
@levantdiggerus34732 жыл бұрын
Nah it's "Now you boys fought like cowards. That's fine- not uncommon. You're good at what you do, and I respect that...." "...But I don't like cowards. I'm better at what I do. THIS is what I do." "And you will goddam respect it."
@grogvaughan5649 Жыл бұрын
As a U.S. Army combat veteran with 6 tours and dozens of missions under my belt I just wanna add 2 things. 1. Hold my beer. 2. You're about 3 seconds away from the worst beating of your freaking life. 3. F around and find out.
@thejadedrabbitTJR3 жыл бұрын
The first story is just "it's still stealth if there's no one left to tell anyone," turned up to 11.
@thewillowtree7273 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha
@UNSCPILOT3 жыл бұрын
"Stealth is optional for this mission" Humans: *"Cowabunga it is!"*
@radioactiveassassin52182 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the famous: "Nobody will notice if there's nobody to notice." Except this is more like: "Nobody will fight us, if there's nobody to fight us."
@levantdiggerus34732 жыл бұрын
Heavy stealth
@leechowning27122 жыл бұрын
Sir, there is nobody left to detect us, stealth mission is successful... Steiner scout lance.
@Ander-51873 жыл бұрын
The second story is "You are going to die, but I want to explain you first why and how"
@wolfoffenris99513 жыл бұрын
Just because you genocide someone, is no reason to be rude
@alexs58143 жыл бұрын
also, please, don't soil my new capitains chair whilst you perish in agony?
@soffren2 жыл бұрын
"And we took that personally" gold 😂
@stain10952 жыл бұрын
@@wolfoffenris9951 I know right, we're friends.
@markmulder98452 жыл бұрын
Story 1: When humans call something peacekeeper, 30% chance its a threat. When humans call something peacemaker, its a 1% chance that it isn't.
@draconusspiritus1037 Жыл бұрын
When Humans call something Peacemaker. There is a 100% chance it involves Rest In Peace.
@allster0crowly Жыл бұрын
@@draconusspiritus1037 nah about a 30% chance rip, 30% negotiator, 30% chance it is something to knock you flat on your ass or back to the stone age, and the last 10% a WMD/MAD.
@draconusspiritus1037 Жыл бұрын
@@allster0crowly When Humans talk about a peacemaker, the wise start negotiating. Because once the peacemaker is brought out. Well, it's too late to negotiate at that point.
@PhoenixT70 Жыл бұрын
“Peace is our profession.” -Motto of the Strategic Air Command, once responsible for all USAF nuclear weapons.
@merlinathrawes7469 ай бұрын
@@draconusspiritus1037Or rest in pieces.
@jessehenson89233 жыл бұрын
There is a bit of mean spirited fun in telling an enemy *exactly* what you are about to do to them when they have zero chance of preventing it.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
yarp
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
The jungle is chuckling darkly. I want my mommy.
@tonitoni99842 жыл бұрын
Torture begins, when the torturer starts schowing his tools
@ballsacsincorp2 жыл бұрын
@@tonitoni9984 xeno interrogator: shows off some spicy food human: mmmmm spicy xeno interrogator: what the fuck
@alexisjuarez9858 Жыл бұрын
They started it
@jeffreywiggins35023 жыл бұрын
I aspire to be this confident, and suave. Holy shit, I mean "Use the restrooms, and program our dietary needs into your ship, to save me the trouble of doing it once it's mine." And "Were gonna kick your ass on-time, under-budget, and with a smile."
@SiegeTF3 жыл бұрын
There was a one-shot Justice League villain named Peacemaker - Humanoid with a bulldogs' face. His thing was enflamming conflicts, then rolling in and taking over once both sides had depleted themselves. Batman pieced this together with Green Lantern, and went to confront him during a public address along with Wonder Woman and Superman. It was Wonder Woman who accused Peacemaker of his shenanigans while he just stood and stared at her; not in shock, but confusion. His honor guard raised their weapons, but he waved them down. She finished and demanded to know what Peacemaker has to say for himself, and he spoke the words responsible for his one-shot status: "I'm sorry... but are you a whore?" Superman, shocked, covered his mouth. Batman, exasperated, facepalmed - covering his eyes. Lantern, well, he covered his ears and cringed.
@bakabunny7883 жыл бұрын
I haven't read that comic but the reactions from those 3 heroes sound about right, how did Wonder Woman react?
@vexile12393 жыл бұрын
@@bakabunny788 probably proceeded to beat the crad out of him
@Eramiserasmus3 жыл бұрын
Well Peacemaker never walked again, I assume.
@JesseGolo3 жыл бұрын
Which comic was that?
@SiegeTF3 жыл бұрын
@@JesseGolo specifically? I have no idea - it was posted on an imageboard which shall remain anonymous. As for WW's reaction: D:
@vibingdopamine26723 жыл бұрын
"Marines die, that's what we're here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever; that means YOU live forever." - R. Lee Ermey
@sethgilcrist80882 жыл бұрын
Semper fidelis
@mikehenthorn1778 Жыл бұрын
Hoorah!
@silvadelshaladin3 жыл бұрын
Anyone who names their ship "The Smirking Revenge" will easily defeat one who names ships like "The Siren of the Sun" or the "Song of Gravity."
@MrAcerulez3 жыл бұрын
My favorite ship name I've ever seen is from a Halo book, it was like a small corvette or destroyer called "Two For Flinching"
@silvadelshaladin3 жыл бұрын
@@MrAcerulez I think SpaceX is good at naming ships.
@frealsolidusauxil58733 жыл бұрын
Dam i wish we get a stealth ship called "up your ass" in the future🤣
@Lastburn3 жыл бұрын
Bruh warhammer ship names are so cheese and amazing, what are you gonna go when something named the Eternal Crusader or the Abhorrence pulls up to your star system
@bogustoast22none253 жыл бұрын
@@MrAcerulez ngl that’s a great name.
@crowsenpai56252 жыл бұрын
I love these stories that are basically “Ah, I see a member of your race decided to fire on and destroy an unarmed medical ship filled with non-combatants. Let me be the first of my race to inform you that was, as experts would say, a poor decision. Now I am here to kindly explain to you just how much you fucked up, and what repercussions you will receive for your actions.”
@panan7777 Жыл бұрын
Oh and please take a good look at my hands holding 2' long crowbars, you will soon get intimate with them.
@kashkara_89433 жыл бұрын
Both socks are missing but at least I can keep up with the algorithm now
@panzerboidasixth68923 жыл бұрын
"A small price to pay for the algorithm"
@spacetechempire5103 жыл бұрын
Ah two more to add to the pile. The dock mountain grows.
@cosmiccake7912 жыл бұрын
IMPOSSIBLE
@cosmiccake7912 жыл бұрын
NANITES ONLY TAKE ONE SOCK TO INFURIATE AND TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU FORGOT THE YT GUNF
@9LiveEmpire3 жыл бұрын
Welp it was Indeed a psychological weapon But not the kind they where thinking "I will tell you why you will loose your nice ship and how you will loose it, because i'm kind of a nice guy, but still... F you"
@douglasmcneil66893 жыл бұрын
The Colt 1873 45 caliber single action revolver was also nick named the Peacemaker.
@robertschumacher27072 жыл бұрын
'God created all men. Sam Colt made them equal.'
@TransbianOwl3 жыл бұрын
Story #2's aliens should really be honored, we typically never come in under budget in a war.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
true
@IRMentat3 жыл бұрын
depends on the branch. overall tho, dead on.
@ianhogben34722 жыл бұрын
Only when we're angry
@mikehenthorn1778 Жыл бұрын
Well according to the fat electrician, when we send a sniper we are going to unalive you from the budget menu. Much cheaper than warheads on foreheads.
@illusiveelk25583 жыл бұрын
The ship names in that second story sounded like the randomly-generated ship names in no man's sky.
@UNSCPILOT3 жыл бұрын
Agreed, kinda adored that, especially since I have a ship called "Father of Gravity", which is a big arse hauler
@chaoseclipse01212 жыл бұрын
@@UNSCPILOT Got some fighters that were decent looking that had some pretty unique names in NMS. Inspiring Observer, Nemesis of Destruction, Void Dancer, Ruthless Pioneer.
@EvilPaladin112 жыл бұрын
@@UNSCPILOT With enough mass, your ship COULD naturally generate gravity
@derekstein61933 жыл бұрын
The Smirking Revenge? Hippity hoppity, this is now my D&D homebrew property.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
lol
@piedpiper1185 Жыл бұрын
That second story was, 'We worked really hard on this, and I want you to appreciate that before you die.'
@dariustiapula3 жыл бұрын
Peace through superior firepower!.
@amorphoussolid85123 жыл бұрын
"See you soon, Chuckles ". Not the best thing to hear from a human mouth. By the time we call someone that our sense of humour has gotten, well, a bit unfunny and violent.
@timeshark87273 жыл бұрын
You know... I've never thought of that before, but I can't remember ever calling someone "Chuckles" without intending to utterly humiliate or severely injure them in the near future.
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
No it is funny, just from a very dark place.
@mikehenthorn1778 Жыл бұрын
The things that are about to happen will be brought up the next time Geneva has a conversation
@PrincessOfDumbasses3 жыл бұрын
ahh the Peacemaker... such Irony...
@SergeyWaytov3 жыл бұрын
#2 is a really good "dont mess with Humanity" stuff
@soffren2 жыл бұрын
USN Smirking Revenge is the best ship name ever
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
that it is
@tabithachastain6999 Жыл бұрын
The second story is the epitome of "fuck around and find out"
@hiddenoath81593 жыл бұрын
1st again . I hope everyone finds the other sock , and has a lovely day
@alfredsutton72333 жыл бұрын
The best science fiction, well read. Thank you AgroSquerril.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed and it was a pleasure
@jakobus65812 жыл бұрын
When Agro spoke in the second story. "Well, Chuckles, allow me to retort!"
@Fayanora Жыл бұрын
"We come in peace, SHOOT TO KILL SHOOT TO KILL!"
@kennethhummel44093 жыл бұрын
Damn the nanites! Full socks ahead!!!
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@garysmith30372 жыл бұрын
When someone talks of "Peace", make sure you are clear on what it means to them.
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
true
@seventhson27 Жыл бұрын
Kind of like the Colt Single Action Army being called the "peacemaker." A corps is very peaceful.
@leadingauctions8440 Жыл бұрын
The cockiness in the second story was to die for.
@merlinathrawes7469 ай бұрын
Not the first weapon to be called the Peacemaker. The Colt model 1873 was a 45-calibre (long) 6 round revolver that is STILL in production. Wow! Talk about psychological warfare!
@harrygrimley4352 Жыл бұрын
Loved it. Thanks for sharing this with us.
@calvingreene903 жыл бұрын
I got vibes of the Wonderland Treaty Maker only for it to pale by comparison.
@mirroredrealities16392 жыл бұрын
They do not keep the peace, they _make_ the peace.
@discusmaximus6 ай бұрын
For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!
@lunaschibor53 жыл бұрын
Human 1: Let's bring em peace Human 2: Im getting the nukes
@SergeyWaytov3 жыл бұрын
#1 is wonderful piece of dark humor, me likes!
@alexs58143 жыл бұрын
yeah, that was just the right amount of human impossibility^^. great reading.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
glad you enjoyed
@reggiehigh223 жыл бұрын
Just that name made all of them mess themselves again
@seldonwright4345 Жыл бұрын
Peacemaker. Sam Colt would be proud.
@elfeater17603 жыл бұрын
Thank you Agro....wonderful readings.
@sherylcascadden4988 Жыл бұрын
A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.
@michaelhice76362 жыл бұрын
first story aliens at the end: "OH! Oooooh... .......oh....."
@johnnyrotten31758 ай бұрын
S1:👏👏👏👏 S2:👏👏👏👏👏
@EvilPaladin112 жыл бұрын
The admiral in the second one, has very Hellsing Abridged Alucard vibe to him. And I love it.
@victoriasteichen122 Жыл бұрын
“… until there is no enemy, only peace.”
@domschra Жыл бұрын
6:58 metal gear music starts playing
@carlfromtheoc17883 жыл бұрын
Wonder if it was made by the Colt Firearm Company. Maybe in conjunction with Convair.
@victortahlor4038 Жыл бұрын
Thank You for the reading
@Kualinar7 ай бұрын
That Peacemaker states this : You chose to go to war and you've chosen your extinction. So, get wise and chose peace.
@allenmorgan10073 жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
@markuhler26642 жыл бұрын
'On the plus side, we'll keep enough of you around to facepalm when the next idiot tries something this stupid.'
@WiredTurkey3163 жыл бұрын
TI-84 intensifies
@nickschaefer93202 жыл бұрын
"on time, under budget, and with a smile"...
@justsomejerseydevilwithint46062 жыл бұрын
they got hit hard by asymmetrical warfare, so they _Packed up their entire forking homeworld_ in retalliation.
@angrydragonslayer3 жыл бұрын
neat
@powerup30053 жыл бұрын
Entente is pronounce On•Taunt
@ballisticm0use722 жыл бұрын
Yeah that kinda annoyed me
@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH3 жыл бұрын
Bless the Squerril Bless the Author
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@tacticalmarsupial62013 жыл бұрын
sic vis pacem para bellum
@NoBody-bx4cp2 жыл бұрын
*Now I'm Motivated*
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
kick A and Kick A
@bogustoast22none253 жыл бұрын
Glad that I’m caught up, lost a lot of sleep catching up
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
as long as you enjoyed , that's the main thing
@macpurdy3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm and the narrator.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@klappstock9432 жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm the story and the voice
@christopherishikawa44442 жыл бұрын
Chuckles I'm in danger
@gingernerd9712 жыл бұрын
>En-tent-e I love it. An alternative to the French
@Monster_Ink3 жыл бұрын
I liked the second one! XD For the algorithm!
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@royalroses1233 жыл бұрын
Peacemaker... Nothing to wage wars anymore...
@attackall1113 жыл бұрын
I keep hearing in the backwards speaking something that sounds like "Nice Aliens" lol
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
lol
@yomogami4561 Жыл бұрын
so there
@bestcomment32012 жыл бұрын
FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@stenivosulutvedt75728 ай бұрын
Takk!
@AgroSquerril8 ай бұрын
My pleasure , thank you for the dono it is much appreciated
@dukeofoool88493 жыл бұрын
This new intro is hilarious
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
:)
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
Operation Just Retribution is go.
@AshyRose12 жыл бұрын
Nice
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
:)
@johnathanblackwell99602 жыл бұрын
The second story is some 1stFSOD type shit
@levantdiggerus34732 жыл бұрын
Story 2: I stole your meme, but I liked it first.
@johnnyrotten31758 ай бұрын
4 D 🐿️
@LunarisArts3 жыл бұрын
Yeh, can understan humans want to be called human, insread of Terrans. A human can be Terran, a dog can be terran, shark can be called terran. We are human, a subspeicies of Terrans
@wolfoffenris99512 жыл бұрын
Right, still Terran sounds much cooler, human sounds so soft
@reasonablehiccups47923 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@Divolutionist3 жыл бұрын
Well i still have my one sock wait where's the other *"sock"*
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
no idea what your talking about govna
@jeroylenkins17453 жыл бұрын
just one more story
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
indeed
@Bonesaw44443 жыл бұрын
Now I am disoriented. How does the time flow?
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
wibly wobly timey wimey stuff
@Eramiserasmus3 жыл бұрын
Algorithm bless me with more videos.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
for the algorithm
@ianhogben34722 жыл бұрын
RAMING SPEED
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@jameswild83323 жыл бұрын
.mhtirogla eht roF
@hiddenoath81593 жыл бұрын
ReveLC
@Chokah3 жыл бұрын
Please flip your keyboard over, the nanite swarm is getting confused and might accidentally steal your shirt instead of your sock.
@alonenotlonely11793 жыл бұрын
@@Chokah could be worse, they could steal your shorts.
@mfree802863 жыл бұрын
@@alonenotlonely1179 Hat theft is predicted. Actually, better put on a hat, or you may be in for a trim...
@bobydigital24503 жыл бұрын
I hare when they make humans being so whipped. If they do war crimes why would humanity help them
@tirnos7392 жыл бұрын
... We cracked multiple planets in half, deployed WMDs against population centers, and basically utterly obliterated anything resembling resistance by sheer force of absolute, mind-bogglingly overwhelming firepower. And you call that 'whipped'? Lemme guess, we should have grabbed all the women and children who had no say in the matter at hand and tortured them to death over the course of weeks or something? Deployed horrific bioagents to melt their homeworld's biosphere into screaming goo to make sure everyone in the universe saw what kind of drooling psychopaths they are dealing with? Just because the enemy did something awful, doesn't mean we have to lower ourselves to their level. Especially when we prove we can beat their asses literally back to the stone age at our whim WHILE keeping to the high road.
@bobydigital24502 жыл бұрын
You sound like the Canadian prime minister If the kill us then they lost the argument.
@tirnos7392 жыл бұрын
@@bobydigital2450 And you sound like a howling lunatic who thinks that every war shouldn't stop until genocide is committed. The story makes it clear we ground ANY concept of retaliation out of their heads with overwhelming firepower and obliterated their entire military. Stopping there isn't 'soft', it's NORMAL. When the war is over you don't keep shooting civilians, unless you are psychopath bent on genocide that is.
@krishall67463 жыл бұрын
FTA
@Sam-pv1hz Жыл бұрын
It's pronounced 'On-taunt'. Not sure how you didn't know this.
@robinchwan3 жыл бұрын
YEE-HAW CHUCKLEF...S
@lacoma6312 жыл бұрын
Entente is pronounced on-tont not on-tent-tay, it's french.
@merlinwizard1000 Жыл бұрын
199th, 27 January 2023
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
If you didn't want us to take your ships and worlds you should have played nice.
@josmeijers28182 жыл бұрын
F.T.A !
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm!
@arakheno40513 жыл бұрын
F.A.S.
@ChrissieBear2 жыл бұрын
You butchered the word Entente. xD
@Wolfgang-Schnaufer9 ай бұрын
These stories are getting so boringly similar. Thanks, I guess, but I'm out.