The Peacemaker & They Begin With the Impossible | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1075

[@jessehenson8923]

There is a bit of mean spirited fun in telling an enemy *exactly* what you are about to do to them when they have zero chance of preventing it.

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@calvingreene90]

The jungle is chuckling darkly. I want my mommy.

[@tonitoni9984]

Torture begins, when the torturer starts schowing his tools

[@ballsacsincorp]

@@tonitoni9984 xeno interrogator: shows off some spicy food human: mmmmm spicy xeno interrogator: what the fuck

[@alexisjuarez9858]

They started it

[@Ander-5187]

The second story is "You are going to die, but I want to explain you first why and how"

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Just because you genocide someone, is no reason to be rude

[@alexs5814]

also, please, don't soil my new capitains chair whilst you perish in agony?

[@soffren]

"And we took that personally" gold 😂

[@stain1095]

@@wolfoffenris9951 I know right, we're friends.

[@voidtraveller8667]

A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy. Blessed be the peacekeepers. second story is just "let me explain just how badly y'all have fucked up."

[@levantdiggerus3473]

Nah it's "Now you boys fought like cowards. That's fine- not uncommon. You're good at what you do, and I respect that...." "...But I don't like cowards. I'm better at what I do. THIS is what I do." "And you will goddam respect it."

[@grogvaughan5649]

As a U.S. Army combat veteran with 6 tours and dozens of missions under my belt I just wanna add 2 things. 1. Hold my beer. 2. You're about 3 seconds away from the worst beating of your freaking life. 3. F around and find out.

[@thejadedrabbitTJR]

The first story is just "it's still stealth if there's no one left to tell anyone," turned up to 11.

[@thewillowtree727]

Hahahaha

[@UNSCPILOT]

"Stealth is optional for this mission" Humans: *"Cowabunga it is!"*

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

Ah yes, the famous: "Nobody will notice if there's nobody to notice." Except this is more like: "Nobody will fight us, if there's nobody to fight us."

[@levantdiggerus3473]

Heavy stealth

[@leechowning2712]

Sir, there is nobody left to detect us, stealth mission is successful... Steiner scout lance.

[@jeffreywiggins3502]

I aspire to be this confident, and suave. Holy shit, I mean "Use the restrooms, and program our dietary needs into your ship, to save me the trouble of doing it once it's mine." And "Were gonna kick your ass on-time, under-budget, and with a smile."

[@markmulder9845]

Story 1: When humans call something peacekeeper, 30% chance its a threat. When humans call something peacemaker, its a 1% chance that it isn't.

[@draconusspiritus1037]

When Humans call something Peacemaker. There is a 100% chance it involves Rest In Peace.

[@allster0crowly]

@@draconusspiritus1037 nah about a 30% chance rip, 30% negotiator, 30% chance it is something to knock you flat on your ass or back to the stone age, and the last 10% a WMD/MAD.

[@draconusspiritus1037]

@@allster0crowly When Humans talk about a peacemaker, the wise start negotiating. Because once the peacemaker is brought out. Well, it's too late to negotiate at that point.

[@PhoenixT70]

“Peace is our profession.” -Motto of the Strategic Air Command, once responsible for all USAF nuclear weapons.

[@merlinathrawes746]

@@draconusspiritus1037Or rest in pieces.

[@kashkara_8943]

Both socks are missing but at least I can keep up with the algorithm now

[@panzerboidasixth6892]

"A small price to pay for the algorithm"

[@spacetechempire510]

Ah two more to add to the pile. The dock mountain grows.

[@cosmiccake791]

IMPOSSIBLE

[@cosmiccake791]

NANITES ONLY TAKE ONE SOCK TO INFURIATE AND TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU FORGOT THE YT GUNF

[@silvadelshaladin]

Anyone who names their ship "The Smirking Revenge" will easily defeat one who names ships like "The Siren of the Sun" or the "Song of Gravity."

[@MrAcerulez]

My favorite ship name I've ever seen is from a Halo book, it was like a small corvette or destroyer called "Two For Flinching"

[@silvadelshaladin]

@@MrAcerulez I think SpaceX is good at naming ships.

[@frealsolidusauxil5873]

Dam i wish we get a stealth ship called "up your ass" in the future🤣

[@Lastburn]

Bruh warhammer ship names are so cheese and amazing, what are you gonna go when something named the Eternal Crusader or the Abhorrence pulls up to your star system

[@bogustoast22none25]

@@MrAcerulez ngl that’s a great name.

[@9LiveEmpire]

Welp it was Indeed a psychological weapon But not the kind they where thinking "I will tell you why you will loose your nice ship and how you will loose it, because i'm kind of a nice guy, but still... F you"

[@vibingdopamine2672]

"Marines die, that's what we're here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever; that means YOU live forever." - R. Lee Ermey

[@sethgilcrist8088]

Semper fidelis

[@mikehenthorn1778]

Hoorah!

[@crowsenpai5625]

I love these stories that are basically “Ah, I see a member of your race decided to fire on and destroy an unarmed medical ship filled with non-combatants. Let me be the first of my race to inform you that was, as experts would say, a poor decision. Now I am here to kindly explain to you just how much you fucked up, and what repercussions you will receive for your actions.”

[@panan7777]

Oh and please take a good look at my hands holding 2' long crowbars, you will soon get intimate with them.

[@SiegeTF]

There was a one-shot Justice League villain named Peacemaker - Humanoid with a bulldogs' face. His thing was enflamming conflicts, then rolling in and taking over once both sides had depleted themselves. Batman pieced this together with Green Lantern, and went to confront him during a public address along with Wonder Woman and Superman. It was Wonder Woman who accused Peacemaker of his shenanigans while he just stood and stared at her; not in shock, but confusion. His honor guard raised their weapons, but he waved them down. She finished and demanded to know what Peacemaker has to say for himself, and he spoke the words responsible for his one-shot status: "I'm sorry... but are you a whore?" Superman, shocked, covered his mouth. Batman, exasperated, facepalmed - covering his eyes. Lantern, well, he covered his ears and cringed.

[@bakabunny788]

I haven't read that comic but the reactions from those 3 heroes sound about right, how did Wonder Woman react?

[@vexile1239]

@@bakabunny788 probably proceeded to beat the crad out of him

[@Eramiserasmus]

Well Peacemaker never walked again, I assume.

[@JesseGolo]

Which comic was that?

[@SiegeTF]

@@JesseGolo specifically? I have no idea - it was posted on an imageboard which shall remain anonymous. As for WW's reaction: D:

[@douglasmcneil6689]

The Colt 1873 45 caliber single action revolver was also nick named the Peacemaker.

[@robertschumacher2707]

'God created all men. Sam Colt made them equal.'

[@LokaOwl]

Story #2's aliens should really be honored, we typically never come in under budget in a war.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@IRMentat]

depends on the branch. overall tho, dead on.

[@ianhogben3472]

Only when we're angry

[@mikehenthorn1778]

Well according to the fat electrician, when we send a sniper we are going to unalive you from the budget menu. Much cheaper than warheads on foreheads.

[@tabithachastain6999]

The second story is the epitome of "fuck around and find out"

[@derekstein6193]

The Smirking Revenge? Hippity hoppity, this is now my D&D homebrew property.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@illusiveelk2558]

The ship names in that second story sounded like the randomly-generated ship names in no man's sky.

[@UNSCPILOT]

Agreed, kinda adored that, especially since I have a ship called "Father of Gravity", which is a big arse hauler

[@chaoseclipse0121]

@@UNSCPILOT Got some fighters that were decent looking that had some pretty unique names in NMS. Inspiring Observer, Nemesis of Destruction, Void Dancer, Ruthless Pioneer.

[@EvilPaladin11]

@@UNSCPILOT With enough mass, your ship COULD naturally generate gravity

[@dariustiapula]

Peace through superior firepower!.

[@piedpiper1185]

That second story was, 'We worked really hard on this, and I want you to appreciate that before you die.'

[@amorphoussolid8512]

"See you soon, Chuckles ". Not the best thing to hear from a human mouth. By the time we call someone that our sense of humour has gotten, well, a bit unfunny and violent.

[@timeshark8727]

You know... I've never thought of that before, but I can't remember ever calling someone "Chuckles" without intending to utterly humiliate or severely injure them in the near future.

[@calvingreene90]

No it is funny, just from a very dark place.

[@mikehenthorn1778]

The things that are about to happen will be brought up the next time Geneva has a conversation

[@SergeyWaytov]

#2 is a really good "dont mess with Humanity" stuff

[@Fayanora]

"We come in peace, SHOOT TO KILL SHOOT TO KILL!"

[@soffren]

USN Smirking Revenge is the best ship name ever

[@AgroSquerril]

that it is

[@nickschaefer9320]

"on time, under budget, and with a smile"...

[@stenivosulutvedt7572]

Takk!

[@AgroSquerril]

My pleasure , thank you for the dono it is much appreciated

[@seldonwright4345]

Peacemaker. Sam Colt would be proud.

[@johnnyrotten3175]

S1:👏👏👏👏 S2:👏👏👏👏👏

[@merlinathrawes746]

Not the first weapon to be called the Peacemaker. The Colt model 1873 was a 45-calibre (long) 6 round revolver that is STILL in production. Wow! Talk about psychological warfare!

[@jakobus6581]

When Agro spoke in the second story. "Well, Chuckles, allow me to retort!"

[@harrygrimley4352]

Loved it. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

[@kennethhummel4409]

Damn the nanites! Full socks ahead!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@alfredsutton7233]

The best science fiction, well read. Thank you AgroSquerril.

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed and it was a pleasure

[@leadingauctions8440]

The cockiness in the second story was to die for.

[@hiddenoath8159]

1st again . I hope everyone finds the other sock , and has a lovely day

[@seventhson27]

Kind of like the Colt Single Action Army being called the "peacemaker." A corps is very peaceful.

[@mirroredrealities1639]

They do not keep the peace, they _make_ the peace.

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@alexs5814]

yeah, that was just the right amount of human impossibility^^. great reading.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@EvilPaladin11]

The admiral in the second one, has very Hellsing Abridged Alucard vibe to him. And I love it.

[@calvingreene90]

I got vibes of the Wonderland Treaty Maker only for it to pale by comparison.

[@SergeyWaytov]

#1 is wonderful piece of dark humor, me likes!

[@lunaschibor5]

Human 1: Let's bring em peace Human 2: Im getting the nukes

[@garysmith3037]

When someone talks of "Peace", make sure you are clear on what it means to them.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@reggiehigh22]

Just that name made all of them mess themselves again

[@elfeater1760]

Thank you Agro....wonderful readings.

[@victoriasteichen122]

“… until there is no enemy, only peace.”

[@michaelhice7636]

first story aliens at the end: "OH! Oooooh... .......oh....."

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank You for the reading

[@domschra]

6:58 metal gear music starts playing

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

Wonder if it was made by the Colt Firearm Company. Maybe in conjunction with Convair.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@bogustoast22none25]

Glad that I’m caught up, lost a lot of sleep catching up

[@AgroSquerril]

as long as you enjoyed , that's the main thing

[@markuhler2664]

'On the plus side, we'll keep enough of you around to facepalm when the next idiot tries something this stupid.'

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

they got hit hard by asymmetrical warfare, so they _Packed up their entire forking homeworld_ in retalliation.

[@The_Viscount]

"God made man, but Samual Colt made them equal." -- An 1800s ad campaign from the Colt firearms manufacturer about the Peacemaker Revolver. When everyone can die just as easily, talking becomes more palatable than fighting.

[@yomogami4561]

so there

[@powerup3005]

Entente is pronounce On•Taunt

[@ballisticm0use72]

Yeah that kinda annoyed me

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@Monster_Ink]

I liked the second one! XD For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Kualinar]

That Peacemaker states this : You chose to go to war and you've chosen your extinction. So, get wise and chose peace.

[@NoBody-bx4cp]

*Now I'm Motivated*

[@AgroSquerril]

kick A and Kick A

[@royalroses123]

Peacemaker... Nothing to wage wars anymore...

[@tacticalmarsupial6201]

sic vis pacem para bellum

[@dukeofoool8849]

This new intro is hilarious

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@attackall111]

I keep hearing in the backwards speaking something that sounds like "Nice Aliens" lol

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@christopherishikawa4444]

Chuckles I'm in danger

[@WiredTurkey316]

TI-84 intensifies

[@gingernerd971]

>En-tent-e I love it. An alternative to the French

[@Bonesaw4444]

Now I am disoriented. How does the time flow?

[@AgroSquerril]

wibly wobly timey wimey stuff

[@angrydragonslayer]

neat

[@calvingreene90]

Operation Just Retribution is go.

[@johnnyrotten3175]

4 D 🐿️

[@homelesskoopa1308]

Sorry if this is rude, but I wanted to point out that entente is pronounced as "On-taunt.". It's French.

[@AshyRose1]

Nice

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@bestcomment3201]

FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@levantdiggerus3473]

Story 2: I stole your meme, but I liked it first.

[@johnathanblackwell9960]

The second story is some 1stFSOD type shit

[@Divolutionist]

Well i still have my one sock wait where's the other *"sock"*

[@AgroSquerril]

no idea what your talking about govna

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Eramiserasmus]

Algorithm bless me with more videos.

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@jeroylenkins1745]

just one more story

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@LunarisArts]

Yeh, can understan humans want to be called human, insread of Terrans. A human can be Terran, a dog can be terran, shark can be called terran. We are human, a subspeicies of Terrans

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Right, still Terran sounds much cooler, human sounds so soft

[@jameswild8332]

.mhtirogla eht roF

[@hiddenoath8159]

ReveLC

[@Chokah]

Please flip your keyboard over, the nanite swarm is getting confused and might accidentally steal your shirt instead of your sock.

[@alonenotlonely1179]

@@Chokah could be worse, they could steal your shorts.

[@mfree80286]

@@alonenotlonely1179 Hat theft is predicted. Actually, better put on a hat, or you may be in for a trim...

[@ianhogben3472]

RAMING SPEED

[@AgroSquerril]

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@krishall6746]

FTA

[@lacoma631]

Entente is pronounced on-tont not on-tent-tay, it's french.

[@bobydigital2450]

I hare when they make humans being so whipped. If they do war crimes why would humanity help them

[@tirnos739]

... We cracked multiple planets in half, deployed WMDs against population centers, and basically utterly obliterated anything resembling resistance by sheer force of absolute, mind-bogglingly overwhelming firepower. And you call that 'whipped'? Lemme guess, we should have grabbed all the women and children who had no say in the matter at hand and tortured them to death over the course of weeks or something? Deployed horrific bioagents to melt their homeworld's biosphere into screaming goo to make sure everyone in the universe saw what kind of drooling psychopaths they are dealing with? Just because the enemy did something awful, doesn't mean we have to lower ourselves to their level. Especially when we prove we can beat their asses literally back to the stone age at our whim WHILE keeping to the high road.

[@bobydigital2450]

You sound like the Canadian prime minister If the kill us then they lost the argument.

[@tirnos739]

@@bobydigital2450 And you sound like a howling lunatic who thinks that every war shouldn't stop until genocide is committed. The story makes it clear we ground ANY concept of retaliation out of their heads with overwhelming firepower and obliterated their entire military. Stopping there isn't 'soft', it's NORMAL. When the war is over you don't keep shooting civilians, unless you are psychopath bent on genocide that is.

[@robinchwan]

YEE-HAW CHUCKLEF...S

[@Sam-pv1hz]

It's pronounced 'On-taunt'. Not sure how you didn't know this.

[@merlinwizard1000]

199th, 27 January 2023

[@ChrissieBear]

You butchered the word Entente. xD

[@calvingreene90]

If you didn't want us to take your ships and worlds you should have played nice.

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@MarrockV]

The S.S. FAFO

[@Wolfgang-Schnaufer]

These stories are getting so boringly similar. Thanks, I guess, but I'm out.

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)