World War Xen by PodgeWrites | Humans Are Space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1177

[@benlyon5118]

Xentraci: "You're a hero!" Billy Bob: "Good, bad, I'm the guy with a gun."

[@calvingreene90]

A terribly powerful enemy that we feel no guilt in killing. It is almost Valhalla.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@avroarchitect1793]

I'd argue it is almost holy to give the dead rest and put those soulless bodies where they belong.

[@eXpriest]

@@avroarchitect1793 Pharasma be praised!

[@bobsterclause342]

Billy bob, savior of worlds slayer of zambie hoards.

[@erutherford]

Would have been funny if he was called Tallahassee :)

[@henrypaleveda7760]

restorer of the old tongue

[@nuru666]

"You got Zombies? I got yer long range, I got yer medium range, I got shotguns of all sorts, I got yer CQB, I got pistols, SMGs, claymores, and bouncing Betties, I got yer melee weapons, I got molitovs, I got fragmentation gree-nades.."

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Murica💪😎👌🇺🇸

[@ihtfp01]

This made me laugh. I could picture humans running the blockade to fight zombies.... GROOVY.

[@kerwinbrown4180]

A vacation fighting zombies and the bragging rights afterwards. Some would pay well for that.

[@Podgeabrillion]

One of my sillier ones, but elevated by the narrator. Thanks Agro!

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@TheAderwolf]

i duno sure sounds realistic to me.

[@Swcher]

when they mentioned gardening equipment I thought this was gonna turn into Plants vs Zombies

[@lucielm]

I know right?! Then I was disappointed in the use of the word buckshot. Awe. Shotguns?

[@USS_Grey_Ghost]

I 100% believe humans would start making this a planed vacation

[@26th_Primarch]

Disturbing lack of Boomsticks and Crossbows in that story.

[@AgroSquerril]

groooovey

[@erutherford]

Hail to the king baby

[@davidragan9233]

The gardening implements made me think of plants vs zombies.

[@ChrissieBear]

@@davidragan9233 It was definitely a chainsaw and a reference to Evil Dead.

[@jesseamaya4413]

Yup, after spending way to much time working amongst those whom one would swear are evidently brain dead it'd be glorious fun to blow away a bunch of undead guilt free.

[@paulhuston9991]

I would take an undead crusade trip like that myself. As long as I got the ammo tfor the dance I'm down! Play the music Mr Romero! So I would say, yeah very cultural

[@awesomechainsaw]

Hell I’d park a ship in orbit and air drop in some supplies in exchange for any loot you crazier guys pull from Xeno homes.

[@alganhar1]

Who needs ammo? I have a suit of reproduction English 14th Century Infantry plate, made to original specifications but with modern steel (which is MUCH better). Plus a Poleaxe. Ain't no zombie biting through that!

[@AlexSDU]

@@alganhar1 Chain mail over leather armor would be suffice enough. Not to mention lighter for movement.

[@kirkjones9639]

Praise the lord and pass the ammo! Ya just know someone said it.

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

I wonder how many zombie fans, thrill seekers, gun enthusiasts and basic crazy people would wanna help these guys out

[@adrianadams1243]

I would

[@raeishimura]

Are you kidding? Humans would be livestreaming it. We'd be literally making twitch channels dedicated to it. Videos of people diving headlong into battle against it gleefully.

[@hmdragon1638]

@@raeishimura i'd watch.

[@lordpfeiffer8490]

Already on my way. And yeah I'd live stream it. Hey looks like we got some smarter zombie. Etc

[@doctorbright1065]

What's the current population of Earth? Basically that.

[@nocount7517]

Where mercenaries and soldiers fail, a hillbilly will find a way.

[@kashkara_8943]

*feeds servers to the ceremonial fire for the algorithm

[@corinthiansdaniels3728]

No my battlefield severs You Monster!!!!

[@KOWALSKIPEADAR09]

All hail the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@kennethhummel4409]

Ya jus gotta luv a good ol pockiclipse!!!

[@willgallatin2802]

That was grand! Only thing missing was thunderstruck in the background.

[@jaytonobrien6325]

Im really fucking concerned because on one hand zombies and on the other "are we talking the fucking super ones that can run and evolve with a growing intellegence"

[@ianharrison5758]

Right bc I’ll farm walkers, but if that mf starts running im taking myself out

[@МихаилРозов-ю9п]

Cordyceps and toxoplasma, voodoo magic and hard drugs, necromorphs and necromancers, T-virus and Zerg ifestation... and of course television, we must not forget the television. Yes, terrans know well what a zombie is.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

I'm just wondering how many shotguns were airdropped into the safe spots.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

For the Algorithm

[@henrypaleveda7760]

not enough, there's never enough dakka

[@Destroyer_V0]

Bare mimimum? Enough for the entire population of xen... pree infection. Gotta have plenty of spares after all. Main question. How many tonnes of ammo?

[@quiveringcalm4697]

@@Destroyer_V0 minimum 250,000,000 tons 50lbs per combat load x 1 billion souls x 10 combat loads

[@platinumchromee3191]

All you need is a chainsaw HellOnEarth 666 made by U.A.C. and some way to hold 400 shells

[@ARockRaider]

Great story and I absolutely would expect many humans to behave this way. I'm fairly confident I would also seek such a trip where it available.

[@linuxras]

Bunker Gear: check Kukri: check Machete: check HaliganTool: check Melee time boys and girls.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

flamethrowers

[@mfree80286]

Cricket bat.

[@TheSchultinator]

@@essenceofdementia Oh you're mean. I approve!

[@platinumchromee3191]

Frostmourne.

[@silvadelshaladin]

Zombie Apocalypse? Humans arrive in droves, armed to the teeth -- where?

[@OGSontar]

I knew it! All those 'kill the zombies' games are really practice combat sims, meant to embed the necessary skills, traits and resoluteness into our very genome. Well, friends, when you think we're ready, send a ship. Make sure it's got a huge cargo hold, we're bringing *ALL* the ammo.

[@bobsterclause342]

Oh gosh. Zombies. Please, let me fight them. Now. Knifes only challenge accepted.

[@thelaughinghyenas8465]

Cute, kind of. Definitely classic HFY.

[@zedekiahstephens4161]

No we haven’t had a zombie outbreak yet but we’ve imagined what it would be like and have prepared for it.

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

That you know of...

[@Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth]

I feel like this is a bio weapon we lost track of

[@TheSchultinator]

OOPS

[@mikepowell8611]

NOW YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!

[@bluefilms4451]

Bout to have the best nap of my life rn

[@hiddenoath8159]

Just got off work. Bout to do the same until 3

[@AgroSquerril]

naps for the win

[@bluefilms4451]

Agreed

[@J0hnB09]

If zombies were a species, they would be extinct since ancient times, their prey is also their greatest threat, basically being better is every way including not decomposing, being intelligent, and being able to eat nearly everything that they can kill. Oh and their prey is the only means of reproduction means they might not be technically life due to needing a host species to reproduce.

[@Lucian00311]

Alien planet: "Help! We got a Xombie infestation!" Terran federation: "3 billion volunteers signed up. What's the adress?"

[@samueltrusik3251]

Opportunity for murder with no mental repercussions? Sick!

[@redevolution686]

For the algorithm, this sure was a good one!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm , glad you enjoyed

[@julonkrutor4649]

Ok, i know AT LEAST 30 guys that would LOVE to "fight" this war. It just so happens that around 20 of those are activ members of the army/navy. The rest is now in the reserve + one really crazy brother/doctor. Where can i buy the tickets?

[@mitchcampbell4197]

Can't wait for them to find out about Chicago Ted

[@kingnothing8570]

we used to do this for fun on our homeworld good times.

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

This would been advertised as a vacation spot

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For ye ol algorith!!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@klappstock943]

For the voice the Algorithm and the story

[@taitano12]

Lol, yup. And not just the hillbillies. "A what?.. You're kidding - where?.. Count me in. Hey, honey? Get out yer shotgun and fake buck teef! We gungo hunt'n zombies!.. Yes, for real, some planet got infected some zombie plague. Wanna go? Leave the kids with your mom, they love hanging out with her... I'm cashing in my vacation time."

[@Rei-hf4bn]

Maaan really wanted it to be Isaac with a laser cutter lol

[@merlinathrawes746]

Go ahead and call us crazy. We'll simply agree with you while pretending to be upset.

[@helslayerknightclaw1339]

HFY, home to a possibly mew genre of Sci fi where humans are great. Ran by Reddit mods who can't take a fucking joke

[@draconusspiritus1037]

That would be Humans for you. Fly halfway across the Galaxy in a ship that's pushing its luck making it across the System. All because they heard there was an honest to gosh zombie apocalypse in progress and they didn't want to miss out.

[@KroMagnum4]

Kill-Billies vs Space Zombies!

[@helslayerknightclaw1339]

HFY, Get into the reddit cause you wanna read good shit, and post your own stories, get kicked cause the Mods can't take a joke

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Hey buddy it’s ok. Fuck those guys

[@helslayerknightclaw1339]

@@essenceofdementia never doubt that

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author Bless the Algorithm

[@kaliban4758]

Best zombie story ever

[@sirdroolsalot12]

Hail to the king baby!

[@crayonchomper1180]

I thought this was going to be a Half-Life story at first

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@Draconis7200]

This was fun. :)

[@bulldowozer5858]

is e-sy 'ate zombies 'ate dockin' fees 'ate speakin' 'nlike me luv killin' zambies luv huntin' trips luv me bois simple as

[@mfree80286]

simple as chips?

[@mikenewton389]

Yeah, you don’t like it, there’s the door!

[@roberthilberling7668]

YEE-HAW CHUCLKE F&^*S!!! Where De Zombies At?!

[@FedralBI]

For the zombies!

[@angrydragonslayer]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@bogovabatina]

Billy Bob from Plants vs. zombies!?

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@ericmcconnaughey2782]

Hilarious! I love it!

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@karlhamoy3919]

nice

[@hiddenoath8159]

1st for the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

noice

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Monster_Ink]

🤣🤣🤣 For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@davidteh3807]

What ? Does this mean the Z virus is some kind other alien invasion .

[@jameshawk1455]

Sign me up

[@hollyferay8131]

Huh .. ok then

[@soffren]

New COD 2097 WIN A CHANCE TO FIGHT REAL ZOMBIES WHEN YOU BUY THE BATTLE PASS

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@jacknomusanom9159]

👏👏👏👏👏click

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@victoregley5359]

hehehehehehehehehehehe...lol

[@merlinwizard1000]

132nd, 13 January 2024

[@Angl0sax0nknight]

😂😂🤣🤣

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm