KZbincreator.inititate(nagging) = true . 1) New design dropped on the merch store today - asn-3.creator-spring.com/listing/haso-space-thicc-babe-rip 2) Almost at 300 daily listeners on the podcast (Audio version on this channel) , Should be on most major podcast platforms , search for ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories. Hope to see you there. 3) There is a second channel where sometimes stuff happens - kzbin.info/door/RHNRQzUFHL9OfUtKtzX_wA 4) Twitter was a major help with getting KZbin's attention with the last problem so if possible throw a follow on me twitter.com/agrosquerrils or @agrosquerrils 5) and most important , enjoy the content. Hope you have a fantastic one .
@Stookinator Жыл бұрын
ey im the first reply even tho it has been a year
@samueltrusik32512 жыл бұрын
First story: WE ARE ONE WE ARE ALL OUR UNITY CANNOT BE DIVIDED Second story: Humans are H O T.
@dantreadwell74212 жыл бұрын
Damn, the Hindu were right. All are One, and One is Brahman.
@firedirewolf2 жыл бұрын
Well, that dood shook hands with a deity and found out later lol, pretty substantial change to the very fabric of reality and may have cost everyone their self awareness to an extent... But even if we didn't, Google wouldn't have much use anymore as we'd be the search algorithms lol
@xxXXRAPXXxx2 жыл бұрын
@@firedirewolf SOoooooo we all would have instant connection to hentai? WE NEED TO HARNESS THIS POWER RIGHT NOW!!
@firedirewolf2 жыл бұрын
@@xxXXRAPXXxx i wouldn't have thought of that... though technically, everyone was attached TO hentai so i mean, if your neighbor was doing something terrible, you'd probably now FEEL it, and since it is a semi hive mind with thousands of personalities attached to it, it probably has a lot of cancer like that making you feel quite sick or those who are squimish to hentai make you feel sick even if you are fine. in short, it would be good but there are faults to every divine issue, the pursuit of perfection is never complete, even if you think it is, there is always more to a concept of perfection that you just couldn't conceive, blistering issues are probably one of humanities greatest assets though as we are so discontent with everything that we strive for that perfection and fight other's versions of it to create better ones for ourselves... may chaos guide us to be better than before x3
@norrasmedjegatan2 жыл бұрын
If Samuel doesn't tell me what happened I do not understand. Please sur, continue!
@lloydkeith30612 жыл бұрын
Silly xenos,... never send a lizard to do a jumped up monkeys job.
@theenderdestruction23622 жыл бұрын
Jumped up murder monkeys
@junigearx74522 жыл бұрын
The first story is like the connected subconscious that almost all ancient people talked about. It's called the akashic record, the perfect being.
@GrimpakTheMook2 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the akashic record, the everything of past, present, future, and everything in between.
@MrJay_White2 жыл бұрын
"i am legion for we are one" or however it goes.
@soffren2 жыл бұрын
Damn, Carl Jung was right
@AzureKaizen2 жыл бұрын
The Library of Infinite Intelligence. Our supposed connection to God. Hidden in the depths of each and every human mind. Pretty awesome to hear a story talking about something like it.
@ShiroNekoDen2 жыл бұрын
Collective unconscious lol don't worry aliens you helped us you freed us.
@kurtismiller95442 жыл бұрын
Why, WHY would you be SO dense as to send a reptile to an Ice planet?!?!?
@aj_the_infamous10132 жыл бұрын
lack of brain cell, one too many drinks, drugs?
@eleethtahgra71822 жыл бұрын
Not enough personel.
@andrewgause69712 жыл бұрын
In fairness, he did have an environmental suit designed to solve the problem. They probably failed to anticipate the equipment failure. Which is its own set of worries.
@muninrob2 жыл бұрын
Because you send what you've got, not what you want - and because you're dealing with numbers, not people.
@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus2 жыл бұрын
@@aj_the_infamous1013 I doubt a human decided this so that rules most of those things out . . .
@matthewklestinski70302 жыл бұрын
1: Futz around with Humans, until you find the "On" switch. 2. Bet they'll hire some Russians, yes?
@TarsonTalon2 жыл бұрын
*'Moskau' INTENSIFIES
@zyanidwarfare56342 жыл бұрын
Russians, Canadians, any kind of norsemen or Swedes
@alonenotlonely11792 жыл бұрын
@@zyanidwarfare5634 Scottish people as well (we are a hardy folk).
@Maddog30602 жыл бұрын
Finns, given what they did to puny Russians in the Winter War.
@zyanidwarfare56342 жыл бұрын
@@Maddog3060 them too, imagine some badass winter planet like the one in the story but it’s a war story instead, it would be the white death all over again
@dantreadwell74212 жыл бұрын
DUDE!! YOU DO NOT WANT HUMANS PLAYING AROUND IN THE WARP!!! Too late, newest Chaos God is. . . Terra.
@eleethtahgra71822 жыл бұрын
Dispatch the grey knight, asap.
@krel71602 жыл бұрын
@@eleethtahgra7182 It is too late, brother. The Grey Knight is a servant to Terra's will. And Terra, is...
@theenderdestruction23622 жыл бұрын
@@krel7160 humanity and it's main mission is now to eradicate the other chaos gods so the other species may live in peace and it may sleep cause tired
@ShiroNekoDen2 жыл бұрын
She is female and gets into slapfights with slaneesh on who is the prettier chaos goddess.
@ShiroNekoDen2 жыл бұрын
@@theenderdestruction2362 something horrific happens every woman's period syncs up and men are slowly turning into females turning us into a majority female hive mind and Terra's cyclically gets PMS and either fucks or kills a chaos god for annoying her or both she births a whole new human pantheon
@jaycren68882 жыл бұрын
I was waiting for the reveal that 1. Galanta now has a crush and 2. Adrick is into males or Galanta is actually female and Adrick wasn't aware of it. Either way the human gains a lizard snuggle buddy.
@reikolupus1362 жыл бұрын
Even after we enter the Galactic Stage, employers remain the same. Sending people to their imminent death because it's a bit cheaper XD.
@kennethhummel44092 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, heat radiating/cooling. Makes humans kinda snuggly to some other creatures.
@yourlocalfestivefurry3542 жыл бұрын
*Grabs your arm* hehe you're melting now
@turbopokey2 жыл бұрын
Wait, you mean those snakes and lizards DON'T want to snuggle cuz they like me?!? Lol.
@mannamoth9182 жыл бұрын
@@turbopokey the fact you still believe people like you is pretty inspiring
@mannamoth9182 жыл бұрын
/jk
@turbopokey2 жыл бұрын
@@mannamoth918 mine too. I just realized I forgot to lol afterward to indicate sarcasm/joke.
@taitano122 жыл бұрын
So, now that they went and woke us up, the question is... Are we a benevolent Or malevolent Eldritch Horror?
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
true
@79bigcat2 жыл бұрын
Isn't the point of eldritch horrors that they're ambivalent and incomprehensible?
@matthewklestinski70302 жыл бұрын
"Yes"
@taitano122 жыл бұрын
@@79bigcat Just because we're confused, confusing, unpredictable, weird, and somehow both statistical outliers and perfectly average in every way, doesn't mean we're malevolent or benevolent. Personally, I vote Chaotic Neutral. Yes, let's be the Chaotic Neutral Eldritch Horror. One minute we're inventing a game changer technology, the next minute we're prosecuting ourselves for warcrimes against a nonsentient piece of granite and forcing punitive reparations, and then we follow that up by gnawing on the furniture... Possibly doing all three at the same time. We are the newest ones on the galactic stage, after all. That makes us the toddlers of the Galaxy.
@theenderdestruction23622 жыл бұрын
@@taitano12 hehhehehehehehhHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAA
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
That second one sounds like your typical government agency in action.
@BrazenBard2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, could be any HR department at least one or two steps removed from mere staff...
@zacharyhawley16932 жыл бұрын
That is a possibility when the collective subconscious meets reality.
@tedb.57072 жыл бұрын
The Monster from the Id awakens. Dr. Morbius, call your office.
@soffren2 жыл бұрын
Old divorced lady's with their crystal were prolly like: STONKS! TOLD YOU WE WERE PSYCHIC
@MrGoesBoom2 жыл бұрын
Listening to the second story....while it's 32 F / 0 C outside and here I am chilling in my unheated apartment in a pair of shorts.... -5 C is nothing to me. NOTHING! ( Though I will admit wind sucks, cold won't do much but wind just sucks the heat right outta ya )
@Mglue32 жыл бұрын
Your skin and skin hairs maintain a veeeery thin layer of air at body temp above the skin which acts as insulation so you can walk around a frozen house in your underwear and feel fine. Its still just air though and can be blown away. Which is why the wind feels worse than the cold/makes the cold worse.
@ClokworkGremlin2 жыл бұрын
It's not coat temperatures until -20C at the warmest.
@MalefAzelb2 жыл бұрын
Canadians/Russians wearing swimming gear in -20°C weather: *weaklings die. Big deal*
@Kualinar9 ай бұрын
-5°C... That's about the normal HIGH in January where I live.
@VolkAus2 жыл бұрын
Oh so the humans had magic but weren't plugged in.
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
basically
@Talon11242 жыл бұрын
Have you tried turning the species off then on again?
@ClokworkGremlin2 жыл бұрын
@@Talon1124 As it turns out, yes. It was a bad idea.
@thehalberdier47742 жыл бұрын
Now that these reptiles know how comfortably warm he is, I suspect many hugs await him in the future.
@jonathanbrightwell272 Жыл бұрын
"yeah I once served on a reptile ship. Every night one or two of them would curl up beside me. It was unnerving at first but I got used to the reppies presence. So much so that when I got back to earth I couldn't get a good night's sleep until I adopted an iguana. "
@justsomejerseydevilwithint46062 жыл бұрын
15:08 Yeah, at least send a trained dog or something! Seriously, dogs are GREAT Support animals for colder planets. More exothermic than humans, huskies _enjoy_ running around in subzero temperatures _fahrenheit,_ (-18 celsius or below), they can be trained to professional levels, they have far better hearing and smell than a human, to the point where they could probably be trained to diagnose some malfunctioning equipment or ill pheromone-heavy species, and they're fuzzy enough to be very cuddly. They're exothermic enough to help _humans_ survive extreme cold, pack animals so they work well in teams, naturally protective for harsh native life, take well to training, smart enough to use some image-communication-boards or other nonverbal signals, great sense of hearing, and naturally compassionate. Maybe a bit hard to understand or control without human help, but if only one human is available to explore a new and dangerous planet, and the human isn't allergic, send a few dogs. It'll even help with the human's social needs.
@m.a.38642 жыл бұрын
Wolves can survive well even in -40°C
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
Not too long ago a child was lost in the cold and a stray dog snuggled with the child for hours saving the child's life. I suspect the dog is no longer a stray.
@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus2 жыл бұрын
@@calvingreene90 it better not or so help me.
@J0hnB092 жыл бұрын
@@m.a.3864 a mix of selective breeding and well controlled genetic engineering (this is a story set in the future) and we have dogs that survive far colder temperatures.
@clockworkgamerguy2 жыл бұрын
7C = 44F, Longsleeve weather but not bad.
@siliciaveerah93279 ай бұрын
yeah thats still shorts and tshirt weather
@BrazenBard2 жыл бұрын
-5C? Hah, I'm still wearing my kilt and a short-sleeved shirt. Granted, I also put on my wool coat for such temperature drops - though I don't close it. Poor reptilians just can't weather the climate...
@ChaoticTeen162 жыл бұрын
I like the new format. Story summaries at the start, T5 Peeps at the end. Very efficient.
@ICountFrom02 жыл бұрын
The tier 5 peeps seem like good folks, hope none are lost over being moved to the end.
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
Testing it out seeing how it plays
@soffren2 жыл бұрын
I agree! Lets me appreciate the story more
@Z4RD4N342 жыл бұрын
@@AgroSquerril I still look at the acknowledgments.
@paulhuston99912 жыл бұрын
The crew "requested" yep they got more
@maxxammax02 жыл бұрын
Its litterly -1°C here and I'm standing outside in a t-shirt having a smoke at work. Im still hot, send me there lol.
@jamescooper28252 жыл бұрын
Awwww cute lizard people
@Tempestan2 жыл бұрын
7c would be a freakin heat wave right now
@geoshark122 жыл бұрын
What are the odd the second story ends up with hunmans and the lizard folk getting along very well after these events , though i will say lizards of earth won’t die from that cold a temperature since desterts usually get to 4.4c every night and places like canada have lizards as well that are cold blooded
@ckl93902 жыл бұрын
Many cold blooded species actually survive freezing better than most warm blooded species, as they are adapted out of necessity to go into hibernation if they are caught out in the cold. With a little prep time many also make antifreeze so they can freeze "solid". The real danger is that they are helpless in that state to predation or any number of other hazards. Also, while their metabolism slows to an almost complete stop it doesn't cease entirely. So, there is also the possibility of starving to death if the hibernation lasts too long and they were low of reserves when plunged into it.
@bobsterclause3422 жыл бұрын
Story one I think htat is kuat drive yards.A halo ring is one thing, but a disk around a planet is like kuat drive yards in star wars. It is a ship yard around a planet. Gues what it does. It is a factory and ship yard.
@apoc352 жыл бұрын
Kinda miss the old openings. Poor nanite swarms never get a mention anymore.
@Mustangofold2 жыл бұрын
Glad we have the "Caprica 7 of 9" bringing her Berretta Storms to the show again.
@TheGelatinousSnake2 жыл бұрын
Everytime I hear “universe”, I get disappointed if the story does not include at least one more Galaxy. I mean we barely have 50+ galaxies in our Local Group of galaxies. Even if we explore some galaxies in our local group… thats nowhere near 1% of the visible universe.
@allenmorgan10072 жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@WingManFang12 жыл бұрын
When the Alien equivalent of Wingus and Dingus are in charge of an exploration mission to a hostile weather planet 😂
@jonathanbrightwell272 Жыл бұрын
This made me genuinely laugh 🤣🤣 👍
@liamrobertson95082 жыл бұрын
The first one be like 3rd Impact but significantly less messed up
@zephire667 Жыл бұрын
That ice planet will be a perfect winter vacation and sport sport center.
@SkyboxMonster2 жыл бұрын
Reptilian cuddles. sounds nice
@2ndbrain9092 жыл бұрын
I just hope their scales aren’t sharp or irritate the skin. If it was…..well cuddling would be a lot more painful.
@SkyboxMonster2 жыл бұрын
@@2ndbrain909 #worthit
@2ndbrain9092 жыл бұрын
@@SkyboxMonster I wish I could agree but I am thin skinned and have a fear of blood sooooo. If it was catgirls though or something fluffy, I'll cuddle all day.
@ClokworkGremlin2 жыл бұрын
Watch out for salmonella. It's like a cold to birds and reptiles, but it'll kill us.
@SkyboxMonster2 жыл бұрын
@@ClokworkGremlin im aware of reptile safety and handwashing/cleaning rules.
@bansheexii2 жыл бұрын
I like the first story because it's sort of a soft creepypasta in the making
@vinnyganzano1930 Жыл бұрын
My friend had reptiles as pets and during a powercut one winter he kept them cuddled up to him all wrapped in a thermal blanket.
@eleethtahgra71822 жыл бұрын
So, whats argonian doing in skyrim?
@xxXXRAPXXxx2 жыл бұрын
Well someone needs to be lewd.
@CanisMythson2 жыл бұрын
Technically speaking, argonians are not reptiles, they're their own subtype; the Hist made them warm blooded.
@@eleethtahgra7182 Lifts her Tail had a proper name.
@Amoth_oth_ras_shash2 жыл бұрын
hehe...second story have me imagen a alof command staff ,rolling ther eyes at the human a bit because 'protocol' before said human is covered in giant skinks and other lizard like cold blooded creatures hissing at them and making it clear if not more walking bio furnaces where hired before the next venture....the command staff... would be doing ALL none temperate planet jobbs ..alone.. XD
@td66474 ай бұрын
Well that was cold-blooded!😮
@markuhler26642 жыл бұрын
1st story twist: the 'awakened' talents is just humanity's social animal aspect. 2nd story: the strongest reflection of reality? It, being cheaper to send a sentient completely unable to survive, is what was decided.
@FloatTheBuizel Жыл бұрын
Ooo humans will be a very wanted species to snuggle with now
@noneedtoknow072 жыл бұрын
honestly I was thinking the internet that first story.
@gManGabe2 жыл бұрын
Kinda weirded out by the comments saying there is something going on between human and lizard. Can't a bro just share some body heat _platonically?_
@Kannn4164 Жыл бұрын
Quite ironic the lizard guy's species is called "fuar" because that's the word for "cold" or "chilly" in both Irish and Scottish Gaelic lol
@WorldWalker128 Жыл бұрын
Why is that ironic? Seems fitting for a cold-blooded species, to me.
@aretailcashier4502 жыл бұрын
7 degrees C is 44.6 degrees F
@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH2 жыл бұрын
Bless the Squerril Bless the Author
@victortahlor4038 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the reading
@spatan98352 жыл бұрын
I ship the human and lizard.
@Southern_Crusader2 жыл бұрын
So in the first story, did those aliens just discover God?
@heavenlyderpfowl1180 Жыл бұрын
So in story 1 they accidently caused the 3rd impact?
@yomogami45612 жыл бұрын
good stories it's magic!!! damn it's cold
@angrydragonslayer2 жыл бұрын
Very neat
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
:)
@William-nameNface Жыл бұрын
“You’re like a living furnace” same thing my girlfriend says to me
@hollyferay81312 жыл бұрын
Good stories!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
glad you enjoyed
@Ryu_D2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the video.
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
a pleasure
@IronWarrior_692 жыл бұрын
SELF CANABLALIZING IS NOT RATIONAL @ WILLOW
@leifjbj2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@nos23422 жыл бұрын
To please the algorithm is all
@dovlyn14542 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm!!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@klappstock9432 жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm the story and the voice
@elfeater17602 жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm11!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@genericuser9842 жыл бұрын
neat
@jimmycoyote742 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
for the algorithm
@adamglover69482 жыл бұрын
Fork the Algorithm
@terrieterblans70273 ай бұрын
Some stories ore good some are great and then there is some that is so poor it is just KAK the 1st was one of the last