AITA For Not Telling My Father And Step-Mother About My Sons Birth r/Relationships

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: All the "not everyone cares about your pregnancy" and "you aren't the main character" comments are hilarious to me. OP didn't update her father b/c he showed he didn't care about her or her pregnancy....and that made him angry. So b/c OP knew not everyone cares and that she isn't the main character she only told ppl who were interested....and that's some how wrong in reddits eyes? My goodness. Seems very much like "Don't talk about your baby non-stop, not everyone cares about your pregnancy! No...not like that."

[@UchuKejiMovan]

I mean if people think OP's father isn't obligated to care about his daughter's pregnancy also have to understand that she's not obligated to let him have a relationship with the baby 👍🏾. Edit Mark you owe us a Alibi story 😂

[@bethanntay]

100% I feel cheated lol I was ready for that one. 😂😂😂😂

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@bethanntay Me too. I was expecting a cheater story as well. But I'll be honest. I find deadbeat parent stories to be the most important to me, because as much as I despise deadbeat parents, they remind me not to be like them when I become a mother myself.

[@lewid019]

Oh..ok.im not going crazy. 😂

[@heathermiller5765]

Yes, thank you...I was wondering when I would hear it 😊

[@loganjoh1]

I was so confused the first story wasn’t based on the title then the second story wasn’t either I think he probably posted the wrong video

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 1: I get a *very* strong vibe Paula is not childfree by choice. I'm kind of glad she seems to have removed herself from OP's life by choice, her behavior was creepy

[@shaneconley4517]

This was my thought too - she can't biologically have children, so gets bitter when others get pregnant, but then dotes on the child once they're born because she loves kids

[@gmun2248]

I also had this suspicion. I have never wanted kids. My nephew is 1 & while my sister was pregnant I was always happy to hear how things were going - just not in too much detail! I definitely would never have ignored her or avoided the 'parties' (she was pregnant during Covid, so no parties) even although, tbh, I don't love those sort of things. I would have been there to support _her._ I look after my nephew twice a week now, he's great but I still appreciate handing him back at the end of the day! But I have friends who have struggled with fertility issues and they have had a hard time with other people's pregnancies. I don't know anyone who has been this blatantly mean & selfish, but I do know people who have sometimes made excuses to not attend a baby shower etc because it would be too difficult for them at specific times. I think most people can understand that & not make others uncomfortable or upset. There is no reason to act this way though, and even worse to manipulate her father into changing his behaviour (although he should have some self awareness & make his own decisions).

[@ceeshnia]

She may also have a fear of pregnancy, especially if she is obsessed with how bodies look. She is not mentally sound.

[@shanebaker3600]

​@@holographicwingñ

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I thought the same.

[@britnicox3929]

Reddit really breeds some wild ideas cuz what do you mean you’re not entitled your own father caring about you during your pregnancy???? That’s some real grade A bullshit right there, my friends.

[@themichaelhaginsshows]

Also...who are these people that spout this "no one cares about your pregnancy" and "you're no one's main character?" These sound like insufferable people who just want everyone to be as miserable as they are and not celebrate ANYONE or ANYTHING of note. Let people celebrate moments. Let people have their time.

[@Janjones7735]

Reddit is full of people with no actual life experience and weird ideas that every time someone avoids doing something it’s got to be trauma related so you have to give them the benefit.

[@lilfairykiki122]

Right? If she’s not entitled to him caring then he’s not entitled to her going out of her way to tell him things either.

[@thethirdtime9168]

Especially considering how dangerous and hard pregnancies can still be, both for the child and the mother. That's his *family*, this *daughter and grandson*, who are going through that. You should have an interest in them and their wellbeing, and updates are where you can get a grasp on that well being.

[@luizad2277]

Dad calling OP ungrateful - what was OP supposed to be grateful from her dad? Indifference? Rude Attitude when she’s a new sleep deprived mother?! OP gave the dad much more latitude than I would have

[@DoritoBot9000]

My thoughts exactly!! Dad didn’t do anything for OP to possibly be ungrateful about.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

People who think the dad's behavior is fine in Story 1 is like. Bruh. That's not just some random baby. That's HIS baby's baby. HIS grandchild. Wtf.

[@carolroberts4614]

He is so like my ex husband! He lived alone abroad now, and has hardly any interaction with our children,grandchildren, and great grandchildren!

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

@@carolroberts4614oh that is so awful! I just cannot imagine being like that. Sounds like you and the family you raised are better without him though. I just truly cannot comprehend that, it’s almost sociopathic to be that disconnected.

[@helianabanes4875]

Agreed, and I hate to say it, but with dad's dating history up to this point, Paula is just another random woman. That may change if Dad and she stay together, but allowing some gal you just met(relatively) to disrespect your child, is disgusting. Paula clearly has some issues, insecurities, and I am guessing, jealousy about getting pregnant and having a baby. As grandfather and father, you should care about the health of your child and grandchild. Pregnancy is A LOT!

[@Rogue-bt4wp]

Exactly!!!

[@KCohere33]

Agreed. He is responsible for this because he let his wife influence him into not caring about his grandchild until it’s born.

[@izzisart]

I'm calling it now, Paula is jealous of the attention the pregnant women in the family get. That's why she's so disparaging about the actual pregnancies but okay once the children are there- because she can use the children's photos to put attention in herself, playing the proud "grandma" role

[@kimsvisualdiary]

Yup. All of this!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

You're absolutely right. I think she also secretly wants to be pregnant too, but either can't have children(which if that were true would probably be for the best), or she shallowly doesn't want to ruin her looks.

[@juliearmfield2634]

I don't blame Opie in the least Paula is a s*** stirring drama queen that I could not handle being around either

[@peachesnsht]

I agree, their behavior is disgusting. Also she chose to be childfree, I'm childfree but that doesn't mean I go around making my pregnant friends feel like they don't matter, they do matter just because I decided they matter in my life. For Paula, people are props.

[@hismom5600]

That's narcissism for ya! My monster in law is the same way. Thats how they all are.

[@hi_stranger9156]

I can’t believe the comments that said that she’s not entitled to her dad caring about her pregnancy or baby related events. She is his daughter and she should be a main character in his life. If he can’t even put any effort into a major life event for her, why in the world should he be entitled to a relationship with her? Shame on the dad for allowing the stepmother to drive a rift between him and his daughter, then come around to expect OP to roll out the red carpet when the baby arrived.

[@PinkSinsila]

Yeah, it's insane. People seriously need to get a grip on their weird "no one owes anyone anything" dance, it's gotten to an inhumane point, "yeah, you're the a$shole for wanting people close to you to care about your milestones, you're so self-centered" is an unhinged take...

[@kp2223]

It's more the expecting a relationship after that part. Almost every relationship in this world is some type of give and take. How do you expect to not care about your daughter's pregnancy, But expect to get the first phone call when the baby arrives? 🤷‍♀️

[@CatLadyElegy]

Right! Like I’m child-free, but some people take their child-free stance to an extreme level. The “no one cares about your pregnancy and child” mentality is disgusting af. It’s his daughter and grandchild. He absolutely should care way more.

[@LunaMane]

​@@PinkSinsilaI can almost understand where people are coming from, that you shouldn't act entitled about wanting something. However that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be shown commen courtesy and be treated with basic decency.

[@laica01]

I mean, I would understand that sentiment if I'm in a row to get coffee an a pregnant woman get angry because no one let her go first, but your own father not caring about your life or your pregnancy? That not main character syndrome and is quite reasonable and something to expect. But I guess those people never were love or something.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: "Not everyone cares about your pregnancy" well her FATHER should, ffs

[@claudioarends791]

Sorry but her father messed up too , he chose Paula's side by acting indifferent but also not making any effort at all.

[@savannah4439]

Exactly! Her father is an adult who made his own decisions. It’s a pet peeve of mine when people blame women for the bad behavior of men. Paula AND OP’s dad are both in the wrong

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@savannah4439 It was my mother's saying that long-term couples are matched salt and pepper shakers. He wasn't a child when he got married. He chose Paula and her behaviour, and continues to choose it.

[@brandyanderson3522]

As I told my brother about his behavior around one of his exes. "If ex tells you to come up to me and slap me. I will be made at her. But if you actually come up to me and slap me, I will have a much bigger issue with you. First, you're an adult, act like it. Second, I would hope our relationship would have you giving me the respect I not only deserve but also that I have given you." Now my sister is much more to the point. "Stop acting like a bitch"

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@savannah4439 That drives me absolutely bonkers! There are actually males out there who believe women don’t have accountability, yet we get blamed for everything. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@floraposteschild4184I actually really like this lol I’m gonna use this

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 1: If OP's father isn't required to care about her, she isn't required to care about him. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@oeurydice]

Story 1: I don't understand how OP's father expected her to think that he cared about the birth when he hadn't shown any interest in the pregnancy.

[@DoritoBot9000]

Some people seem to mentally detach the pregnant mother from baby, which is mysoginistic as heck. So in their mind the postpartum mom can go kick rocks, but it’s fine because they do care about cueing over a cute round newborn baby.

[@nathansheldahl]

He did at first but his girlfriend didn’t like that at all so his little brain took over and shut his interest down quickly.

[@Ja_Schadenfreude]

Story 2 : On what planet in what universe is the request to have their daughter-in-law serve them at her place of work not bizarre? It's almost like a wacky 💩 test to see how far they can push her around.

[@pippo17173]

This sounds like power imbalance especially the rich family status. It's divorce time.

[@marysmith-ps7uj]

It was mentioned that they're rich. Could be a tactic to show son the he married below his "station". Tell them to pound sand. You come from a proud and noble race of people who were probably eons ahead of his descendants who were still scratching their buttocks while scribbling on cave walls!!

[@fracturedsmile]

Story 2: I'd say yes. I'd switch shifts with a co-worker secretly and join the family as a sit-down participant and see how they responded.

[@BNezzy]

what is the husband thinking?

[@anwarpine6797]

This is the perfect response.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

@@BNezzyhe’s not, that’s the thing

[@jakemarie828]

I think calling it stupid is worse than missing the events. Why would you be ambivalent about your grandchild and then get mad when you stop getting info

[@PardonSylver]

Story 2: They offered to have OP be the server for THEIR family dinner. Not "our" family dinner, theirs. That's all I needed to hear your honor. The jury has agreed NTA, and the sentence is divorce.

[@colleens1107]

I’m less concerned about him not going to the baby shower, traditionally that is a ladies only event and as an older man he would TOTALLY view it as such, but the fact he allowed his wife to badmouth his child during a very vulnerable time and as a result did not support her during her pregnancy. Also, did anyone else catch the part where HE DIDNT GO TO OPS GRADUATION????? I’m glad it sounds like people have finally smacked sense into him but he is obviously a weak ass man who goes along with people who are stronger than him even when it damages his relationships

[@jezebelle57]

I think the problem is something we read about over and over. The man’s getting laid and his dick sucked on the regular and frankly, he’s not willing to give that up for something as unimportant as his children or grandchildren. And let’s be honest far too many men are just not interested in anyone who’s not doing something actively for them. Half of them don’t know their children’s birthdays nor do they care about milestone events in their lives.The only reason to even get pictures is to show off to their friends and relatives what a great parent they are. It’s rare and shocking to hear about a woman disappearing from her child’s or family’s lives but it’s beyond common for men to do so. Most men just don’t have that paternal pull. That’s why they’re the ones who leave so often.

[@Ospyro3em]

Mark you might want to check the title of this video. Go home, you cheeky so-and-so, you're drunk 😂

[@colleens1107]

Right? I was about to go on a rant about how I would wonder if my hubby would cheat if he would cover up one and then I listened to the story and was all THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CHEATING

[@jakemarie828]

Might be the editor but yeah it's off. This happened once before and it was fixed. Wanna hear about the story in the title also tho!

[@VanityZERO]

Yeah I was thinking it was maybe going to be the second story but nope 😅

[@Ospyro3em]

I think it'll be a future video and the titles have just been switched around 😄

[@ApocalypticEmu]

Lol right? I was scrolling looking for another vid to watch, read the title and was like “I just listened to this and for the life of me don’t remember this story” 😂

[@colleens1107]

There has been an edit to the last video. She has FaceTimed with the family and gave them a talking to for their horrific treatment of her. Nothing on what they said to OP in response but she IS addressing this garbage attempt to essentially push her out of a Christmas family meal to be a goddamn servant. MY GOD I’m pissed on OPs behalf and I hope she rips hubby a new one for going along with this blatant act of discrimination

[@bunnyslippers191]

If her husband doesn't have her back 100% she needs to either get an annulment or a divorce. She should go for the divorce since an annulment wipes out the marriage as if it never happened and with a divorce she could get a nice settlement, which she very much deserves.

[@justKorppi]

@@bunnyslippers191fingers crossed there isn't a prenup!

[@diamondseraph9369]

​​@@bunnyslippers191 There was another update later on (I wanted to see if there was any new gossip so I looked and was checking the comments to see if anyone had already posted the rest so that I could copy and paste it for others to see) Her husband completely backed her up and they decided to un-invite everyone who sided with her in-laws so the only people involved in the Christmas celebrations were those who sided with her and weren't toxic. So I think their marriage is safe for now.

[@SaruCharmed]

I could be entirely wrong, but my first instinct is that Paula was never able to have children and is jealous of pregnant women so downplays the significance so she can feel better about it. And op's father has picked up on this, either he can tell how hurt she is afterwards, or she yelled at him for being so excited. So he also hides his true feelings to protect hers.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Same

[@sinbadwilliams7186]

Got to say Mark... that story about the guy asking for an alibi to hide his cheating was such a wild one...😂

[@audreym3908]

Ik! It was so crazy that it jumped to a father ignoring their daughter's pregnancy 😂

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

😭😭😭😭

[@Angry_Red78]

🤣 I was thinking, "Wait. Mark's already covered this story. Is there an update or something?" But nope. I think Poppy switched out his regular waffles for french toast. 😆🥰

[@winterkind1772]

@@Angry_Red78 you made me laugh so hard it scared my cat 😂 thank you

[@Angry_Red78]

@@winterkind1772 Any time! lol! 😉

[@bethanywoll7669]

Regarding the in-laws who wanted OP to serve them Christmas dinner at the restaurant she works at: the another huge insult that wasn't brought up was the "sweet tip and take out" as her "Christmas gift". A TIP IS NOT A GIFT! It is compensation for WORKING. A gift is freely given and doesn't have to be earned. So they are basically deliberately excluding OP from Christmas dinner and refusing to give her a gift. F that family.

[@FrozenCampbellSoup]

A coworker does not need to care about your pregnancy (give basic respect yes but not care) A family member, ESPECIALLY a parent, should absolutely care

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: NTA. It’s freaking weird that OP’s dad of all people wouldn’t give a damn about HIS GRANDCHILD. The only one trying to act like the main character in everybody’s life is Paula

[@DoritoBot9000]

It’s weird that the OP’s father wouldn’t give a damn about his own DAUGHTER during her first pregnancy! Those are still very risky and full of complications for women even nowadays.

[@helianabanes4875]

Story 2: if the family TRULY thinks that OP's reaction is, "dramatic" there is something very wrong with their processors, and that is what I would tell them. "No. You are wrong, your resquest is extremely abnormal, and disrespectful. The problem is with the request/order, not my response.". I am guessing that MIL already knows that, though.

[@madambutterfly1997]

That's what you get for not being as involved as you should have been. Then he has the audacity to play the victim because he found out the same time everyone else did. And it's not like he wasn't able to attend those parties he chose not to

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 🤮🤮🤮 This is AH behavior of epic behavior. Slavery is wrong, but we'll do one step below that and make you our server. If the husband didn't immediately defend you, get a divorce. Even if she's "fair-skinned" she's still mixed race and some people will treat you badly just knowing that. Sounds like an econic/class difference too. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to a lawyer and this annulled. Would that you procur a vicious lobster to get you an advantageous divorce package expeditiously

[@One.DeSanctis.]

OP is in hard denial. She is Mexican (American 1 drop supremacy rules) even if she has blond hair, blue eyes and blisters after 5 minutes. It is about purity of background. I hope she gets a clue and a spine before they have children who get treated like staff.

[@smapa1185]

Lol vicious lobster

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@One.DeSanctis. Yeah, it has to be race. its impossible for people to simply be AHs.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Being paid as a server is not even close to slavery. Still, OP asking AITA shows she has some format in her that she needs to work on.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@One.DeSanctis.I do agree with you about OP getting a spine. Asking AITA shows and not bringing up her husbands role is telling.

[@kateemma22]

'My thoughts? They can f**k off with this nonsense' well said, king.

[@aurora4218]

The whole thing about "everyone has babies - you're not special" like, sure, everyone also gets the flu and I'd hope my father would at least ask me how I'm doing if I got the flu!

[@kamicokrolock]

Story 2: I haven't worked at a single place that would even allow me to serve family unless my manager was there to do the actual ringing up of orders. This was to prevent employees from cheating the company. This situation is weird and I'd be like "no that's not happening, and if hubby thinks your in the wrong I think you need to look for a lawyer because that's some serious messed up sh*t.

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 1: I would've suggested to OP to respond to the same thing Paula always says. Why didn't you invite us to the hospital to meet the baby?! "It's not that big a deal."

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

That's weird. I was expecting a cheater story. 😅 But this first story is easily one of the easiest NTA stories I've read so far. And those people who voted ESH definitely missed the mark. I definitely agree with OP like everyone else, although I do think OP's sister is a little in the fog about their father. It's clear that OP's Stepmother deserves the hatred from her sister however. Not only is she immature and rude, but she clearly has no boundaries. And OP's father isn't entitled to be a part of his grandson's life if he's not going to make it an effort. He'd better get his act together if he wants to see his grandson. After Update: Yeah, it's clear that Paula is a jealous hag. She clearly wants to be pregnant secretly. And she has no boundaries whatsoever. She needs to be gone. And OP's father really needs to get his act together or he can expect to wait until his grandson's 18th birthday to see him, if he's lucky enough to get that because he's being a bad dad quite frankly. ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

[@sd4055]

I was expecting a cheater story too.

[@amylynnsgraphics]

I agree Mark! Not once did I get any sense of entitlement from OP. And it's one thing to demand excitement from everyone around you about your pregnancy, but this is her DAD we're talking about, he and her mom should be the most excited! So no main characters here, just a daughter who actually wants some support from dad, which is the minimum!

[@ViciousNer]

Story 1: Paula DOES want a baby. Maybe she’s denying it because she feels it’s too late, or (because both Paula and the dad seem immature) her current partner is adamant on not having more kids. That’s why she was obsessed with the cousin’s baby. The dad himself sounds like he’s not all that interested being there for major events anyway. He missed her graduation, and it seems like OP doesn’t think there’s a need to share important information with him. That typically doesn’t happen if there’s an open and healthy relationship. Paula and dad can be as mad as they want, OP deserves to have stress free visits so newly postpartum. Edit: Also, idk if my app is bugging out, but the title of this video is about a story that isn’t included.

[@ladytrucker251]

Markie you had me cracking up with your comment about her serving her in-laws Christmas dinner. ( Oh they can F off with that nonsense!) Lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG that was hilarious

[@bunnyslippers191]

Mark was quite restrained with his response compared to what I was screeching at my computer monitor. I swear my voice asking, "What?? What?? What the actual fuck??? Fuck those people!!!" closely approached the frequency that can only be heard by dogs.

[@Jjudes9665]

My mum was indifferent about my pregnancy, their 4th grandchild. She didn’t tell anyone they knew that I was expecting. It really hurt some of our close family friends. I think it shocked her into getting more involved in her new granddaughter when she was born.

[@SweetnL0]

Stories like this make me so grateful for my own dad. He came to the hospital the morning of my c-section. He stayed with me when my (now ex) husband went home to get some rest/shower/etc. He even took a 3.5 month leave of absence from his work to care for kiddo when I had to return to my job but kiddo was too young for regular daycare.

[@roowyrm9576]

Christmas Dinner- serving them "their family" Christmas Dinner....so OP is excluded from family by that definition.

[@naturalPaths]

I’d certainly like to hear an update on that Christmas server story.

[@gabemortimer8552]

I've had to serve my in-laws at work before. They didn't tell me about the plan and said "surprise" when I showed up for work. I had been excluded from a family reunion so they could surprise me with a $20 tip. They expected me to be grateful to them for "helping" me in my time of need. I responded with, "Thank you. It's not as much as what I'm used to getting tipped, but I'm sure I could find a good use for it." I put it in my gas tank and watched it burn as I drove away. Set fire to the rain, my friend.

[@kristywebb3471]

No you're not the a$$hole. That baby does not need to be around negativity. Yes, they can pick up on that. Also, you're the mom, you get to make the rules.

[@brandyanderson3522]

"Nothing weird about being the server for THEIR holiday dinner." Could they find any other way to see you're not, nor will ever be a part of their family. Plus, could they look down on you any more than this?

[@carolynsteele9929]

The reason I love this channel is the way Mark feels comfortable saying someone could ‘F#$& right off’. So many channels censor themselves - but not here!!! Feels like a friend talking to me.

[@missesLMA]

I went through something very similar as OP in story 1. If OP’s dad is anything like mine, that lack of caring enough to check up on you is just going to continue. It’s sad that some dads that remarry just stop taking an active role in their child’s life and still expect to be included in everything.

[@matthewcourt3795]

OP gives her dad way too much credit. From how she’s described him he sound like he was already a massive AH and Paula only brought emphasised his worst traits.

[@Pikeya]

I'm in camp "if you don't care about my pregnancy, then you don't get to enjoy the product of said pregnancy. No baby snuggles for you."

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - I would have immediately confronted whoever planned that (MIL I think?) and simply asked what she was thinking. How was that supposed to be interpreted, other than incredibly rude. Then, I would take the hide off that partner for not standing up against this. Honestly, getting angrier as I type, I would walk away from the lot of them - after confronting them. What the hell kind of partner wouldn't realize that his partner SERVING christmas dinner, that she offered to make, to his whole family, wasn't wholly and completely fucked up?! How does THAT little QUIRK not present earlier in the relationship/! Wow. Even MY covert narc mother wouldn't have tried to pull that one, and she has pulled some real doozies. Good luck, OP!

[@innochantheumbreon]

Incredible stories as always Mark!!!!! Story 2 almost has me wondering if there was supposed to be a surprise for OP and the boss was in on it, but I imagine at least either her boss or her husband would have spilled the beans, at least a little, when they saw she was upset... I still hope it wasn't supposed to be malicious at least :( Also I was wondering if the wrong title was uploaded, but either way thank you for the video!

[@laughingaardvark3128]

In the second one it sounds like the in-laws are looking down on OP and trying to 'show her her place'. In my experience when someone says 'know your place' it means they believe your place is beneath their foot, licking the shit off their shoes.

[@debl3063]

The fact they said "dumb parties" proved they didn't need to be told.

[@HaughtyHedonist]

I'm Guessing The Title Of This Will Be Changed Soon To Avoid Confusion. Both Stories Were A Nightmare, Felt Sorry For Both OPs.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

The dad and stepmom ignored all the baby news for 90% of OP’s pregnancy. They didn’t care just about the baby just like they didn’t care about OP’s graduation Too bad. So sad. Shulda been a real dad.

[@dannietea]

Story 1: NTA. I don’t know where the hell all of the main character accusations came from when literally all OP wanted was her dad to at least pretend to be interested.

[@user-zr9ub2fs4w]

Story 2: Just WOW. Those in-laws are scum. I sincerely hope she showed Reddit's response to her husband and his family. Just WOW. Disgusting. Degrading . . . I bet the in-laws look down their noses at her, not recognizing how they are the ones who should be ashamed of their behavior.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Paula sounds jealous if the attention is on anyone but her. He didn't come to your baby events because "Paula doesn't think it's worth it"? NTA. Tell him you didn't tell him about the birth because "Paula doesn't think it's worth it." And that only people that DO think your baby is worth it, is allowed in their lives. "Sis thinks it's all Paula's fault and I should apologize to dad." Dad is *20 years* older than Paula! If he hasn't found his...voice by now, he's never going to.

[@carlrood4457]

The server story is awful. They're literally going out of their way to exclude her from a holiday meal when she has two off days she could attend with them and is willing to cook. Also, calling a tip for service and leftovers a "gift". At best, they're snobs putting the working class person "in her place" or flat out racists. They clearly DON'T want her in their family

[@susankaempfer8427]

Just goes to show that money can’t buy class.

[@diamondseraph9369]

On the bright side in the most recent update OP says that her husband took her side after she had a FaceTime session where she stood up for her self and set some boundaries. She also said that they uninvited everyone who sided with her in-laws and that they were focusing on having a drama free Christmas so everything seems to have worked out in the end at least so far.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, Paula sounds like the kind of person who doesn't care about anything unless it directly involves her, it is sad that your father is letting her pull everyone down.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: I hope that Paula stays away forever. Story 2: WTAF? How rude of them. If your husband goes along with this insane idea, it is a deal-breaker. Edit: Please give us an after Christmas update, OP. Don't let this toxic family stomp all over you.

[@ComaLies225]

To be honest, I’m hella petty and would have called Paula out for her indifference. “Oh, you don’t care? That’s fine I don’t need you to care but you can GTFO cause you’re not doing me a favor by staying.”

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? I long for the day when an OP curses some one da fuq out for this kind of foolishness. Might not be "right" but it most certainly would be "deserved."

[@MarkNarrations]

I somehow mixed up the title and thumbnails on this one apologies, fixed and the actual story will be coming soon

[@TigersandBearsOhMy]

Mark, your take on story 1 was spot on. Sometimes I feel reddit actually does hate everything wholesome; family, newborns, healthy relationships, etc, and tries to shame people if they dare to express a want for such things. It's sad.

[@stellamccoy5259]

When you play games, you get the prizes you deserve. OPs father played and found out.

[@shydog7276]

I'm floored by the people saying that pregnancy isn't that big a deal and not everyone cares. Like, uh, the dad SHOULD care. This is HIS first grandchild. His baby's baby. Sure the world at large doesn't care, but if anyone should... It should be the grandparents 😐 Especially if he's gonna act butthurt that no one told him the baby was born. Eff the dad, a social media blurb is good enough for his disinterested butt.

[@VidGirl88]

Story 1: Dad's a grown ass man. If he gives zero effort he gets zero response.

[@girlwiththeartfolder1854]

Honestly, Paula reminds me of my estranged uncle. Despite being invited to family events, such as religious holidays, weddings and family gatherings, he never tried to show that much interest towards some of his family members. Every time someone would mention anything about my sister having a baby or one of the kids, he would reply "ugh, babies", in disgust, despite being in his 50's. He would also make some rude remarks based on the whole idea of religion. He's an atheist, which we never once held against him and still invited him round because he's family. Yet he never made the effort to act interested or keep his thoughts to himself as not to upset others. The final straw was when he never showed condolences towards my father (his brother-in-law) after his mother passed away. I pretty much sent him a scathing text telling him how disgusting his behaviour has been and since then never spoke to him. It was actually heart-breaking since he and I did share some common interests....but still, i felt he went too far and needs to get over his ego.

[@nashia23]

Story 1: Paula really wants a baby and has told her older husband but he’s had his kids. He lived that life. She’s just there to be young and be a trophy. She agreed to that and maybe thought she could persuade him into a baby. She’s jealous of something she can’t have right now, be pregnant. That’s why she’s only interested in the baby. Story 2: That family only wants to humiliate their poorer DIL and make sure she knows that she’s really beneath them.

[@acatnamedm4529]

I get main character syndrome, but you are the main character of your own life. You are free to share as much or as little about your own life events to people in your life. I don't get the people in the comment section talking about OP being selfish and childish.

[@beingWantable]

Story 1 = if the father found the baby important he would've been worried around due date. He would have known due date. He would have asked how you were doing etc etc.

[@hiro4344]

Last one: Sure, serve them dinner, and serve Husband divorce papers at the same time.

[@marecort3697]

I got married at 37 and pregnant on my honeymoon. I don’t know if it’s because I got pregnant so easily or quickly or at my age, but a lot of reaction I got from those outside my family was not “congratulations,” but a story about how someone they know or was related to had a hard time getting pregnant! It was so disheartening sometimes, as I was so happy to be pregnant and enjoying it all. Now, I’m one of 4 kids, and I grew up the scapegoat. My mom and I had a very abusive relationship (we had mended it somewhat through therapy). But, even though this wasn’t the first grandson (my little bro had twin boys 6 years before), I was the center of my parent’s universe for once in my life. They lived about 7 hours away, but it was still amazing. They were both in the delivery room! And they have adored my son since, and he’s 22 now. Had it not been for my family’s support and excitement over my pregnancy, things would not have been as amazing as they were. I was 100 positive the entire 8-1/2 months (he was a little early).

[@carolroberts4614]

That's nice that your family, especially your mum, are so supportive now. I lost my mum when I was 19, and I like to hear stories about nice mums, like mine was!

[@nataliereeves3594]

"Be the server for OUR FAMILY dinner." Do they not consider op family then? Tell husband he either backs you up or you have a serious problem.

[@cb9825]

Last story is nuts. I thought people like these rich in-laws exist only in telenovelas🤯

[@Nicole-bt4mj]

S1: Kinda wish OP had said something like "well, I didn't think you'd be interested given how you've been acting the past 9 months"

[@CouncilEstateRach]

No mark yr not jibber jabbering...you are a complete gentleman kind considerate and loving... i hope and pray you meet someone and have a family as you would be a tremendous parent and im sure yr children would be such a positive for the world. Take take care. Xxxx

[@DaniS398]

My mom has 8 grandbabies and 9 and 10 are on the way. She AND my my stepdad are excited every time like it's the first. When I told her about my current 3rd (and last) pregnancy, she literally squeeeeed over the phone. That father is weird and Paula needs to stay gone.

[@michamocha]

Story one: NTA. These are grown adults lol. If someone say things like "is that all you talk about" it's reasonable to assume they're not interested at all, especially followed up by their actions. They showed disinterest so they can't really get reasonably upset when people don't cater to them. It's amusing that someone told Op she's not entitled to her father caring about her pregnancy considering that the source of conflict is him obviously caring and being upset that he didn't get details that he acted like he didn't care to know. He decided to copy his wife and it backfired on him, it's that simple.

[@CynicalChick777]

Story #2 - World's Worst Server reporting for duty. I'm going to get your orders wrong, spill drinks on you and give everyone the wrong plate. Deer in headlights look - What do you mean you ordered the chocolate cake? I wrote down that you wanted this bowl of dishwater for dessert.

[@andreamuller9009]

Nah , that makes them think your stupid . I would do it....serve the family in the restaurant, would jump over every stick and through every hoop that they are sure to put in my way to humiliate me.... And at the end serve my husband the divorce papers with a smile: "I'm glad I found out who and what you are before I have children with you" ....and then leave the "gift" aka the tip on the table with the words: "You seem to need that more than I do. Obviously YOU can't afford to invite your daughter-in-law to your Chrismas dinner and pay the staff tips at the same time." and then turn around and leave and never look back. These shitty people aren't even worth the dirt under anyone's fingernails and aren't worth a single thought!

[@Scotter1971]

I would have giftwrap printed with Paula's texts printed on it and use it to wrap any of her future presents.

[@shadewolfe1231]

Did I miss the story about proving an alibi for a cheating friend (that’s in the title)? 😅

[@CatLadyElegy]

Lol I think Mark had a moment 😂

[@persephoneszeliga]

I know, it took me a moment to realize there was a mix up.😂😂

[@memnochLasher]

Yeah, me too. I came to comments to verify! 😂😂😂

[@andthatsshannii]

I have a cousin whose sister in law is infertile and treated pregnancies the same way as story 1

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, the dad doesn't get to skip on all the baby stuff only to show up to get social media posts!

[@madambutterfly1997]

There's no right to be cold and short with you especially when your actions towards him were a byproduct of his stupid decisions

[@caroleharrison8884]

Phone calls work both ways! Why couldn't the dad ever call the op!? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@TheBaskinmays]

Father does not get to be mad that he was not included when he was given invite and invite to be involed with family events and did not feel it was that big of a deal.

[@owl7072]

"I know we've been deliberately ignoring you and talking shit throughout your pregnancy, but how DARE you not give us any updates! What do you mean we set a precedent of not caring before, and so you had no reason to believe we ever would?! Clearly it's on you for not developing the ability to read minds!"

[@calicocritterscrafts886]

My in-laws are double digit millionaires and they would NEVER pull a stunt like that!!!! As usual money doesn’t buy class

[@bluemist781]

Story 1: the thing she should have said instead of telling her father he’s on thin ice is ask why should she believe him now. He’s proven to be unreliable and losing faith in him completely for the last time would be less damaging to her family than constantly and repeatedly being let down. If he tried to deny it, which those people usually do, I’d start bringing up history and fact. Their words are worthless, “trust me bro” doesn’t mean a damn thing if you’ve failed those around you that many times. The quantity of let downs is only matched by the quality, like missing his child’s graduation. A ceremony second to getting married. Honestly I’d bring up every way he’s failed me, let him know that is all I expect of him, and that expectation is the one and only thing he doesn’t let me down on. He’s such a walking negative he creates a mental debt with the only thing certain about it being it’ll always be in the negatives. He’s the “I’m going to get milk” meme except he still steps into the house to eat then leave again like “op- I forgot the milk brb”. Ig I’m petty and extreme, I just don’t like the mental image of my baby going through even half the shit I’ve been through- that guy is a threat. He will damage that woman’s child similar to how he’s hurt her if he doesn’t get cut off or get his shit together.

[@Tammohawk1]

I'd laugh in their faces while telling them NO. You don't get to try to humiliate me and think I'm going to just take it.

[@dindog22]

The Christmas dinner server story. My aunt pulled this exact same thing on me one year. Family Christmas party. I didn’t even get a great tip out of it

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: LOL! Now I know how poor Mark feels when he has to tell stories where the bad guy has his name. Anyhoo, Paula-in-this-story sounds like she's got a few screws loose, but the main villain, of course, is Daddy Dearest. Two things stood out for me. 1. he couldn't be arsed to show up to his own daughter's graduation. 2. He couldn't be arsed to remember his own daughter's due date. Not only that, but he was so detached from it all that he apparently didn't even notice she was in the hospital for four days and then got mad when he belatedly found out. What if she'd had major medical complications? What if she'd died?! The ESH comments were willld. The only people here suffering from Main Character Syndrome were Paula-in-the-story and Daddy Dearest.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Commenters sure did enjoy jumping to conclusions about that first story.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 2. Nta. Tell me you can't stand your daughter-in-law without telling me you can't stand her. That is just the biggest most disrespectful slap in the face you can give a person. That is nothing but a huge power play by the mother-in-law and the rest of the family and husband is going along with it. I cannot believe the husband does not see this I don't blame Op I would tell them to go to hell.

[@taetannim3581]

Props to OP's, "I didn't expect to be treated like Demeter." Love!

[@EnclaveTank45]

Part 2 It could be subliminal messaging due to them being rich saying you're inferior because you're not rich.

[@paden1865able]

Just in time for me to put my feet up and cool down now that the chores are done. Thanks, Mark!

[@Legless_Orphan]

I don't like kids and don't care about my brother's kids, didn't care about the baby shower or gender reveal BUT I know it mattered to him so I acted like I cared. Him and his wife didn't know I had no interest in children related things.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Paula's behavior is a bit creepy. Absolutely refuses to be involved or let other enjoy the pregnancy, yet acts entitled to the baby after birth? Very creepy.

[@heidifruchtl354]

Oh boy. I didn't tell my parents about my pregnancy until I was 18 weeks pregnant. They weren't thrilled, they hated the baby daddy, but they supported me and baby. Daddy especially. He fell in love with peanut as soon as he was told. He found out that I was using a vintage step stool, and went out to purchase the most sturdy one he could get for his pregnant daughter. I still have/use the stool. He threatened to disown his own mother because of my pregnancy. She wanted me to either abort or give my child up for adoption. I was 24, out of the house, employed full-time and I was ready for baby. I was also 7 months pregnant when she found out. He visited every day of my week long hospital stay. We joked about his speeding to the hospital before my c-section, hemade it. How he hugged my Dr in gratitude for the safe delivery of baby and how much he fell in love with her. He always claimed that he pampered her, she even admitted that he was spoiled. She was devastated last year when she discovered him. RIP daddy.

[@onepieceisking5493]

Wow, even after getting told off by family for he's treating his own daughter and not calling out the witch he gets mad and argued back. Heck no, then the audacity to call op to scream at her like it's her fault that the family is mad at them because they know what actually happened therefore can't be manipulated nor lied to about what happened. Looks like what op said made him finally realize what Paula has been doing to him and he went at her for it, good for him. No surprise that Paula screamed at him and more than likely cursed him out for now siding with op instead of her. She's probably now mad that she doesn't have her husband on her toxic side. She probably defended her actions and tried to manipulate him. Paula probably immediately packed up and left once realizing that she wasn't fooling anyone now and no one would side with her. I'm not surprised that she immediately left. I hope he breaks with her toxic butt. People like Paula wonder why their single.

[@gmun2248]

My first thought - it's crazy family season, time for all the stories to start!! Second thought: damn, I might end up writing one of those this year 🤦‍♀️. (Xmas at my sister's, with her in-laws, plus she & BIL don't really cook or host anything, their oven just broke & the turkey is currently in my parents' freezer. Good start. I'm veggie, I'm cooking mine on xmas eve & will take it with me! Then there's all the people-y stuff...) If I was OP in the last story, I'd make a decision based on whether i wanted to save my marriage or not. If she opts out, being the worst server ever & ruining their xmas dinner is a perfect option to start some justified revenge. Then finish it with a brutal lawyer & a divorce due to blatant bigotry.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yup. Life would be so much better if it weren't for the "people-y stuff," wouldn't it? One of the nice things about getting older is realizing I actually don't have to put up with a lot of people and their stuff.