AITA For Wearing White to MY Wedding?

[@CaptainPygar]

The groom could have worn blush suit because it was his family's tradition and he cared about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@dream6562]

But the tradition is for the bride to be in blush

[@lisril0619]

She should have discussed it with him and they should of came to an agreement together.

[@bw8660]

😂 LOL yes.

[@CaptainPygar]

@@dream6562 Mix it up 😎

[@CaptainPygar]

@@lisril0619 The groom and his family should not make demands because of their niche family tradition. That is based solely on superstition and not explained to the bride well before the wedding. Especially when at the same time the groom and his family are wearing what they want. (Unless they are groomsmen or bridesmaids) I would tell him that it just seems his family is bad luck and I'm soo superstitious that I can't marry into family like that.

[@Oceanmaid91]

Guy was so focused on tradition and her dress color to the point he was “disappointed” as she walked down the isle? Nope, divorce! You don’t get to put tradition above your partner!

[@dream6562]

But you're bringing your partner into your family, which would also include family traditions

[@tarredion]

@@dream6562but then they should be on a similar level, traditions is an abstract ever changing thing (yes despite being traditions) not the PERSON you are marrying at a wedding. The person you love always comes above that, even just a little bit. You don’t put someone’s person down just because they’re joining your family - that is toxic and not a healthy relationship

[@dream6562]

@tarredion OK but this isn't just the bride's wedding it's also the grooms wedding as well and obviously a he wants to live up to the tradition and the meaning behind it, why should it just default to the groom giving in

[@Es9954]

@@dream6562 Then he should wear a blush dress

[@Oceanmaid91]

He should have taken a more active role in the communication then! Instead he just jumped on her when his mother was already starting in! This to me is a red flag that indicates a control issue or he holds his mother’s wishes above hers. And if you think for one minute they’ll let this go, let me tell you they won’t. People like this like nothing more to twist the guilt knife

[@paulamarshall3810]

It was his families tradition NOT hers!

[@mmg8830]

Nothing more to add!!!

[@forgetmiiknot]

RIGHT?!?! Exactly my thoughts. The bride shouldn't be obligated to do a tradition for a bride if it's from the groom's side. Unless she really wants to do it, of course

[@onfireboyscout]

Fr HE should have worn blush

[@lisril0619]

But she should of discussed it with him. If it's apart of his family then it might be apart of him. And apparently it was important to him. He's an ass for saying that he was disappointed but she's also in the wrong for not talking to her partner.

[@kirpat1212]

I mean presumably her family has a tradition of usually wearing white dresses as a bride lmao. Why is his more important when shes the one wearing it?

[@madnessarcade7447]

Did u get to his justification later on They were looking out for her

[@haileyhowson8350]

@@madnessarcade7447yeah but for all we know, her family could have a similar thing. when it comes down to it, she should wear what she feels her best in, as should the groom.

[@MarvelousMarrah]

I see their point bc a wedding is supposed to meshing of traditions but like it’s your wedding, your dress, if you want to wear black NOBODY CAN SAY SHIT TO YOU

[@dream6562]

It's also his wedding too though

[@bleudiamondbleu]

@@dream6562then he can wear what color he wants and she can wear what color she wants

[@MarvelousMarrah]

@@bleudiamondbleu exactly like if my fiancé came up and was like I’m wearing Jean shorts and cowboy boots I would let him

[@alyzu4755]

It's OK for MIL to FEEL disappointed, but not to seethe through the entire ceremony and then call her out on it. ESPECIALLY on the wedding day! And the groom should have made his reservations known before the wedding. OP looked at blush dresses, and even asked about getting her dress altered. In the end, its her decision.

[@lauraelliott6909]

This is more of a superstition than a tradition.

[@dream6562]

Traditional things can stem from superstition though

[@MrSuperPlush]

I am guessing if this is an old family tradition their idea of "blush" is very much pink.

[@noprogressionisregression6854]

I know that I've heard this story before and you guys put it into a shorter format. But my thoughts are the same. I'm baffled by the amount of women that say that the bride needs to compromise. Even you guys seem to think that. Noticed that the stories are never about men. It's always about the woman making a compromise. Will be refreshing to hear feminist inetead of this passification saying that the woman should just go along with it.

[@srkh8966]

The wedding dress story-you can’t make someone adhere to your family’s tradition. And-the groom could’ve worn a blush tux

[@colorcutie97]

Ok I know it makes a big difference to some people but realistically how much different would it have been if the dress was blush? Like why is it such a big deal that she wears what she wants? I was assuming it was going to be a cultural thing like some Asian cultures that wear colors and use white for funerals but it’s just their family? This is just weird. She gets to wear what she wants on her wedding day. End of story. Also I heard on another story “tradition is just peer pressure from dead relatives” and yea, traditions are sometimes important but you can’t force anyone into them.

[@bw8660]

NTA! My response would have been "In my family, it's tradition for the bride to wear whatever she wants 💅" Seriously though, it is irrational amd actually rather sinister that an entire dress colour and her husband's view of her dress has been coloured entirely by some ridiculous superstition! How's about we actually enter a marriage not thinking the worst could happen and instead deal in the here and now and what makes us both happy as a couple. The final point I'll make is regarding the husband. He absolutely should have spoken to his mother regarding her negative behaviour and comments to his wife. He is also the arsehole for telling his wife he was disappointed (!!!) with her dress colour when she walked down the aisle. Jeez, if there is anything that sours a huge relationship moment like that, it's your spouse saying things like that... that he can never take back! 🤦‍♀️ In reality, if the marriage doesn't work out, it will be because the husband doesnt fully support and back up his wife. But I imagine if you asked his family and even him, it seems they would blame the colour of the dress as the omen for why it didn't work out... urgh. It does not bode well for the relationship.

[@zurilyjones]

Did the husband tell her that the tradition was important to him? I wouldn’t change it for my mother-in-late but I might for my husband if he really cared. But it sounds like he never communicated that and just let his mom do the talking so I wouldn’t feel bad.

[@everdeenxoxo]

I think in the most recent episodes I have not agreed with their opinions. The wedding aside, The dress is for the bride, I don’t feel like there is any compromise or asking permission or anything when it has to do with her dress and what she’s going to wear. She needs to wear something that she is going to be comfortable in and she is going to love. Compromise on the cake or a compromise on the food being served or the theme but not HER dress. If they have this tradition then they can instill it on their daughters. But they have to take in her opinions as well and at the end of the day what her opinion is about the dress is what matters. Also from the story it just does not sound like a tradition it sounds more like a superstition and their reactions are huge red flags because what else are they going to be superstitious about now that they are married.

[@gcarr1089]

Wonder if the real reason was, OP wasn't a virgin. So they wanted her to wear blush more for that reason. but just gave her a sweet story just to make her feel bad.

[@izzisart]

That was my first thought.

[@laurag502]

immediately my first thought also…

[@dream6562]

That's a far leap in logic without proof

[@EricaLaurenx3]

I think if she remains healthy and alive for a few years after the wedding, they can put this superstitious tradition to rest. It's her day and not her tradition so while they can be annoyed now, it might do the whole family some good by realizing it was just 2 isolated incidents and has nothing to do with the color dress, and more to do with something medical or at least grounded in reality... time to move on

[@madnessarcade7447]

Based on the title I thought that this story would be the groom wanted to wear a white suit and the bride wouldn’t let him

[@laurag502]

that or i thought maybe they were from a culture where white is not the normal wedding color… for example most indian brides wear red and white is reserved for funerals

[@poppejones4835]

Nah that’s some control a$$ shit if my fiancé was choosing my outfits if he dictating that he’s dead to me. Unless I look like a stripper or inappropriate that’s fine. But if he gonna get get his panties in a twist he needs therapy. I’ve been codependent for too long to allow someone to gaslight me. If the in-laws Can get that control. Nope 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

[@maangoo9]

Thats not a tradition, thats a superstition

[@madnessarcade7447]

5:36 I guess it changes the MiL’s perspective she was mad because she didn’t want anything to happen to her she was looking out for her which is sweet

[@Harley24986]

That’s their tradition, not her family’s tradition. Do that with your own daughters. 🤷‍♀️ my wedding. I wear what I want. I wore red to mine.

[@ambrosia.floros]

See i could never wear blush cause I have super cool/pink toned skin, and it would not look good on me

[@madnessarcade7447]

7:44 feel like dope isn’t the right word If u wear white u might die sounds tragic

[@frankencherry]

Honestly the disappointment is fair as they did state the tradition and how important it was to them however at the end of the day the bride did make it clear that if they could not alter the dress that it would be white so I think it was very uncalled for to pull her aside like that at her wedding day. Maybe after the wedding or not at all. The husband should have stayed quiet, i get why it could have been disappointing but at the end of the day it is the brides choice.

[@madnessarcade7447]

If the wedding is only for the brides then why should the grooms make an effort No one cares about them Grooms get married in sweats it’s your wedding wear what you want kings it should be about love not the outfits

[@madnessarcade7447]

4:13 if u don’t like something ignore it I agree with that

[@bubblesawesome3284]

Nah like it’s ur wedding and you are the one wearing the dress. It’s what makes you happy not everyone else

[@ElfInTheFlowers]

Yeah, nope. Unless the in laws are paying for everything… nope. I don’t like that color and would have been sad forever. Maybe a compromise with blush jewelry if the in laws purchased them.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

Or something blush in her hair or blush accents on something like the bouquet or her shoes if that would be possible. I would consider just wearing a blush garter similar to how a lot of brides do to fulfill the "something blue" superstition.

[@duczapanna]

Did the inlaws tell her in time why was this tradition so important? Should I quote Justin? 😅

[@czurbandanaz]

Beautiful story proud to be a woman ❤

[@kooolkidninjamaster]

The man could have worn a blush tie

[@Stinkydinkydo]

I think the bride is nta but I can understand the family's disappointment. Family traditions don't really matter to people outside the family, but they can be pretty important both in a cultural sense and just an isolated family context. I don't think she's a jerk for doing what she had to do, but she definitely got off on the wrong foot with this family, and the lack of communication with her fiance also doesn't bode well

[@tiryaclearsong421]

Both family cultures matter though. The bride's culture dictates a white dress and the groom's culture dictates a blush dress. The bride wearing colors that correspond with her culture makes sense. She could have added a blush accent somewhere if she wanted to be kind. Also the groom's family are acting insane. If they throw tantrums wanting everything their way then they are just antagonizing the other family.

[@hellokitty4063]

My fiancé picked out my wedding dress because it is his wedding as well and he also had a vision of how is bride was going to look like. We both love my dress.

[@caitlynalexandra615]

🚩🚩🚩

[@rking6751]

I think the real question should be “Is she still alive?”

[@leilanitauheed3334]

Fr

[@laurelrhodes744]

This feels like a NAH, but MIL is asshole-ish for down playing OP’s boundary. This whole thing could have been communicated a lot better, but I don’t think anyone’s really wrong here. The family had an expectation, and OP had a different one. Neither are wrong, but they could have both been more direct with each other.

[@Greeklithee]

I’m so proud of myself

[@frankencherry]

Good for you! Love that self positivity!

[@jenniferdaniels701]

Did OP know the reason behind this tradition? Would the in-laws have been okay with a different color of dress, as long as it wasn't white?

[@Shaylovespopeye]

I love pink so I don’t really like white as a wedding dress maybe should have just wore blush or she can do what makes you happy i love tradition I really love blush i love pink I really love pink I’m sorry but she should have wear blush white is plan Jane I’m disappointed to no to white do over wedding I think she should have comprised with him it’s his wedding to i Agee with you i love you guys

[@kimberlyWard8152]

Yes it's his wedding too so he can wear blush if he wants but he can't force her to and that's great that YOU prefer pink but she clearly doesn't she wants white

[@Shaylovespopeye]

@@kimberlyWard8152well I think she could have compromised with him marriage relationship is about compromise so no she can wear blush she didn’t decide with him she should have talked to him no she can wear blush take the dress back

[@thepeopleslast2579]

​@@Shaylovespopeyeshe compromised by asking if they could alter the dress, compromise does not mean you do what the other person wants.

[@Shaylovespopeye]

@@thepeopleslast2579 i know but still she should have compromised because her of husband what he and family want

[@thepeopleslast2579]

@@Shaylovespopeye again, she did compromise. She tried to get it altered, it wasn't possible. And she shouldn't have to compromise, family should want you to be happy more than they want you to do what they want.

[@ghostgirl707]

I have a hard time understanding why she went through the effort to ask about the alterations for the dress. A white dress is traditionally used for weddings, and to not respect a small simple request from his side of the family says more about her than the family.

[@joyas38]

she said it was not possible

[@brookewilson1950]

She would've had to find another dress and she didn't want to do that because she'd already fallen in love with the one she picked.

[@ghostgirl707]

I understand that, and we don't have the full story either. Also, I'm sure she planned the wedding months in advance before this.

[@thepeopleslast2579]

The thing is them choosing the color of her dress is not a simple request

[@daniks4217]

I think it would have been nice for her to do the blush and I think it is nice that her husband felt comfortable expressing his feelings about it. It sounds like it mattered to him and she didn't tell him.

[@noishi4658]

What a dumb tradition. No sense to it. Literally a trash to even argue about.

[@vladb2154]

People forget that it's the groom's day too. If it's a tradition that is really important to his family, i don't see anything wrong with her keeping it alive. She could have just cleared things out

[@ElfInTheFlowers]

Nah, he could have worn blush.

[@bee-oz4tp]

dude how much more clear could she get you guys LITERALLY read the comment saying she did in fact tell them and they thought she was joking that’s THEIR problem not hers. she had already said “if they cant alter it its staying white” so even without her confirming it, if she walked down in white OBV they couldn’t alter it why are they so surprised why is it only THEIR tradition matters and she HAS to follow it