AITA Wedding Edition 👀 | Wedding Planner REACTS

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[@caityjayde96]

If anyone's curious, there's an update for the first one. The friend unblocked OP and reached out to him so they met up. The husband had told her that he'd asked OP to change and then suggested that they both block OP so that he can't come between them. Friend asked witnesses what actually happened and found out that her husband lied. Apparently Husband hates OP because he thinks OP wants to date Friend even though they're just friends, so he took an opportunity to intentionally create drama so that he could cut OP out of their lives. Friend has also seen other people talking about her Husband's red flags in the comments of the post and is now questioning her marriage, but hasn't decided anything yet. OP is going to be a supportive friend no matter what she decides and it seems like their friendship is safe for now.

[@robinruane6255]

Whoooaaa wait! OP is a dude? That's a whole other angle! I thought it was a girl wearing her old dress! 🤣

[@caityjayde96]

@@robinruane6255 Yes, he's a guy. He mentioned in an edit on the original post that he's male and that the dress is a Corpse Bride costume.

[@JadaCarlton]

I knew the husband was a red flag. 🚩

[@SarcasticPixie]

If a male wears a corps bride costume to any wedding event, he doesn’t deserve to have any friends. What kind of a psycho does that? Does no one have a brain anymore?

[@marymiller6188]

😮😮😮 wow…just wow!

[@sanxi34]

People skip meals before a wedding because 1) usually getting ready takes forever 2) because usually weddings serve a SHIT TON of food! and 3) because people see themselves getting dressed and you don't wanna see that food baby as you just got dressed haha

[@taylerkolin3075]

What gets me on the first story is the reason bride is mad is "everyone knows you don't wear a wedding dress", but doesn't engage with *why* it's improper to wear white or a wedding dress to a wedding. That being so nobody mistakes the wearer as the bride and/or so they don't take attention from the bride. If the person in the corpse bride costume is a man, not likely to be mistaken for bride or someone trying to steal her husband. And if everyone is in whacky costumes the corpse bride one would easily fit in as just as distracting as anything anyone else would be wearing. She's mad because you're just *supposed* to be mad when someone does that, not because of how it specifically impacted her wedding day.

[@lisajohnson4744]

Not to mention that her guy was stirring her pot… (there was an update: hubs engineered the situation to make OP look bad and break up a friendship.)

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

The obvious unreasonable quality of this bride is she planned a surprise wedding. Her guests didn’t know they were going to a wedding. The guests didn’t plan for a wedding. If the bride is going to do something like that, she needs to let certain things go. Even after the update (which make the story even more ridiculous) I don’t feel any sympathy for this bride and I wouldn’t want her in my life

[@VioletEmerald]

Completely agree with your response to the 2nd letter writer. It really genuinely might be too much of a trauma trigger to ever go to a wedding again. Some people struggle a lot with their mental health. It's. Valid.

[@Mothman_In_a_T-Pose]

Yup! Trauma doesn't have a timeline. I hit my ten years trauma anniversary this December. I'm still working through it, and I still have certain triggers. I'm in therapy, I'm taking care of myself, but I have trauma disorders. I will never be "over" my trauma, because part of me died the day the trauma occurred. For the 2nd person's sister's situation, the person she loved most in the world died. Less than two weeks after unifying their love and their hearts under their deity and government's eyes, he died. That's not something you just "get over". That's something that breaks you in a way that will never be fully repaired.

[@VioletEmerald]

@@Mothman_In_a_T-Pose And it is a little different if he completely unexpectedly died only 2 weeks later, vs if you knew before the wedding day he would be dying any day now. BUT... the new bride's lack of understanding that her sister could be traumatized by the death of the love of her life, because... what? "Death isn't traumatic if you can see it coming?" Uhhh no. Traumatic deaths aren't limited to the shocking ones. It's often, probably "usually" extremely traumatic to watch someone close to you die of cancer or other terminal illness, etc etc.

[@LoveValentineXO]

My mom died 11 years ago. She was a hair dresser. Still can't bring myself to sit in a hair salon and get my hair done in any capacity. I cut and color my own hair.

[@maddie19]

As someone who doesn’t eat before weddings, it’s partly because I take forever to get ready, so I just don’t have time, but also I expect to be fed, typically my family gets good catering, so I’m chowing down. If I was in the OPs shoes I would have done what was suggested in the video or DoorDash to the venue and eat in my car.

[@ariellebrowne]

It seemed as though they took public transport cause they said they only had enough money to get back home but not enough to go home and pay for the food

[@tilarfifield2407]

Not Jamie trying to be as nice as possible when trying to tell someone they’re an asshole 😂 I love this please do 50 more of these!!

[@carolynv8979]

You can tell she handles brides professionally.

[@ashleyb3015]

I agree on the first one that OP is NTA. He didn’t know it was a wedding and even asked if he should change. However, in the future, just to be safe, it’s probably a good idea to not wear a wedding dress to an engagement party either, even a cosplay one.

[@stxrryd]

i will never understand why you would need to CONVINCE someone to join a gathering when they don't want to be there. let's say for the sake of argument that her friend is lying about her reason for not attending. why do you, as you say it is, have to convince someone to be "there for you"? what is the appeal in that anyway? why would you want a miserable person at your wedding, regardless of whether or not it's traumatic for them? why???

[@xfairfaeriex]

Totally agree. My sibling and I have had a rocky relationship for a very long time and they asked me whether they had to come to my wedding. I wish I was in a more level headed state of mind and had told them ‘no’ because they clearly didn’t want to be there if they bothered asking that but I told them that I wanted them there. They didn’t press the issue and attended with their spouse who I also am not a fan of. In retrospect, I don’t know why I did that to myself and to them. Would have made it one less thing to stress about if I had told them it was okay to skip it. I think I thought I needed to have family there but it didn’t actually make me happy having them there nor were they happy to be there I imagine.

[@StephLovesTLK]

About the guest fees: It's super common here is Quebec (but definitely not the rest of Canada). A lot of brides and grooms will charge (In advance and its written on the invitation card) for coming to the event, and a gift is either not expected or very small. I've never heard of charging at the wedding though. I'm not sure if its common else where.

[@michaelayoder1947]

I came to comment the same thing! 😊

[@staceyk2274]

I'm very curious about this - what amount is typical?

[@StephLovesTLK]

@@staceyk2274 it’ll range, but I’d say I’ve seen anywhere from 50$-100$!

[@DLF-xq9lq]

It might be common but it seems a little odd. What other event does the host and hostess charge people for attending?

[@StephLovesTLK]

@@DLF-xq9lq Sure, I get your point, but most events planned aren't with a guest list of 150-200 people in a big hall with music and food. I personally didn't charge for my wedding, but we did that knowing that most Quebecers don't give big gifts because they expect to be charged. So we were diligent on keeping everything within budget.

[@Moonbutnosun]

As for the Michelin star wedding food.... normally people include this info ahead of time.. so they can plan ahead and bring money. Plus usually it is asked ahead of time for the catering to be able to plan on how many roughly of each dish they need to prepare for!!!!

[@Moonbutnosun]

What is this wedding and why and where

[@ladyeowyn42]

The caterers at my SIL’s wedding didn’t care about having enough dishes or even serving them warm. We sat at the last table to get served and people were getting snarky.

[@Moonbutnosun]

@@ladyeowyn42 ew that's terrible service I'm so sorry your family had to pay for them. I've been catering for 11 years now and I can't imagine treating guests like this

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

So it’s normal in the US now for people to charge guests for food at their wedding? I got married back in the dark ages (2004) and never heard such a thing. People on a budget had a short guest list and shopped around for the best priced caterer or people on a super tight budget in rural poorer areas did potlucks, which required something of the guests, but the guests knew ahead of time. People also would opt-out of a wedding completely and elope. I can see possibly other parts of the world charging guests, but at least the guests would be made aware in advance, I hope

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

I mean my parents got married very young on a shoestring budget in a small rural town back in the 1970s. My Mom did not get an engagement ring; there were only wedding bands and they did not charge their guests. I think they only served cake and appetizers.

[@SaraBliese]

I went to McDonald's during a wedding once. It was a dear dear friend, and they served appetizers only, which were delicious, but not very filling. A few friends and i decided to go grab McDonald's and come back. Friend did not care, we got to eat, everyone was happy.

[@JoelBrewton]

Regarding the first one, I agree that there is probably a lot of context missing..... THAT BEING SAID..... I also unfortunately lost my husband less than one year after we got married (in 2020) and I can definitely relate to the OP's story. For me, it's not weddings that trigger my emotions, but certain locations that my husband and I spent a lot of time at. I once found myself having to leave a birthday celebration early because he and I had visited the venue many times together, and being there was bringing up a lot of memories. What we have to remember, as people, is that everyone is fighting their own battles. Not everyone has the ability to press the pause button on those battles and it definitely sounds like the sister in the first thread is under the impression that she expects the entire world to pause for her wedding.

[@ladyeowyn42]

I’m sorry for your loss

[@Alicia-yn6gt]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@annejia5382]

Props to the fiance of the bride for suggesting her to post it. Maybe he was thinking that she will accept it more by receiving responses about tue situation cause the fiance is definitely on the sister's side but couldn't further convince her.

[@samanthacooper8225]

"Where is this happening??!" 🤣😂 Your reactions are priceless!

[@rachel_sj]

You can tell that the last AITA post broke Jamie’s brain and tested her sanity! 😂 I also wanna find out where this wedding was and if, and how many, there were other people who didn’t wanna pay for a Michelin Star Wedding Meal!! 😮

[@lovelywishes4235]

But for real though lol

[@annejia5382]

True fr tho where?!?!?!??!? 😂

[@bec7080]

I think if the first story was true and I was to do something like that as a bride then I would make specific suggestions. "It's a Gatsby themed costume party". Or something. Even "since it's my bridal shower please avoid white or bridal themed costumes" It's ok to have buyers remorse if you are a grown up about it. My sister asked that no one wear white to their rehearsal dinner because she didn't request that at the bridal shower and she felt like she didn't stand out in her little white dress she had. And it's OK that she realized after the fact that she wanted to stand out after the fact. She wasn't angry at anyone because she made the bridal shower dress code. She just realized she wanted something different after the fact and learned from it then changed the next thing.

[@meganb.higgins973]

I wouldn't have said anything to my friend, but I definitely would not have paid her to eat at her wedding. I would have stayed for the mandatory events like the bouquet toss and all of that jaz and then quietly made my exit. Where I would have gone to mcdonald's and angrily thought about the events while stuffing my face 😅

[@morgancaraway3941]

The AITA series is my favorite and I’m soooo glad you are doing it. P.S. I completely agree with everything you said Jaime❤

[@luolinia]

hi! i'm from argentina, here is usually normal for people to have attendence fee on weddings, that usually includes the food, sometimes couples choose to hire a restaurant for their wedding and it can have an extra amount but that it's almost never the case unless they're rich, so yeah, if someones who's going to your wedding ask you if they have to pay something, that includes the food

[@saneill17]

So many people are doing those surprise weddings at their engagement parties now, it’s safe to be prepared just in case hahaha

[@Hybrid301]

You need to find the story about the bride’s nephew making the wedding dress.

[@xDarkTrinityx]

The last one.... her bf is a piece of work... she said she didn't have enough money for food and a ride home. So what was she supposed to do? It's not stingy if you didn't tell people to prepare for expensive food.

[@katherineschmidt2075]

Definitely not the A hole for no 1. That's what happens when you plan a surprise wedding, you run the risk of someone wearing something you don't like and isn't suitable for photos. I'm sure someone could've also loaned her a scarf or spare top to put on over top if needed, but hubby stated everything was fine, no need to change. But him backtracking once his wife found out he told her that is alarming, almost manipulative of the situation. He'll lie at every situation which he finds too hard or caught out in.

[@robinruane6255]

These are great! I will say these days it's so common for people to do the surprise wedding thing that it's probably a bad idea to show up in a bridal costume for what you think is an engagement party. That said, NTA for wearing the same costume as the host of the party 🤷‍♀️

[@scook449]

They probably thought is was okay since they were a dude in a wedding dress, and that's fine at most weddings as a funny bit. I've even seen videos where the groom is told they are going to pre-wedding photos, and he will get to see the bride in the dress before the ceremony. Surprise it's actually the best man, or a good guy friend, dressed up like the bride. Everyone gets a good laugh and they all get pictures together. So it's sort of seen as more acceptable than a woman trying the same thing.

[@LoveValentineXO]

I've never heard of a surprise wedding until that post. Honestly, I would think showing up in a wedding costume from a character who is well known to wear a wedding dress makes a lot of sense for an engagement costume party since wedding is the theme. If it was just someone who came in a wedding dress, I might have questions, but you can get a cheap wedding dress at some thrift stores for costuming. I would say the best advice would be to advise the guests not to wear anything white, hoping to eliminate the possibility of a wedding dress but keep the surprise. But I also think a surprise wedding is kind of silly...

[@paperpager1249]

I can completely understand the sister still having trauma from losing her husband… even though my dad died almost 8 years ago, I still cry and miss him. I have avoided certain events/places every now and then. I cannot IMAGINE going through what the sister went through. I personally would never go to a wedding ever again if I was her. That OP is beyond insensitive and cruel to think their sister would be “over it” after 6 years… when the sister’s husband was meant to be with her for the rest of her life before he passed.

[@KaylaShaye]

I have sincerely never heard of someone charging guests for a meal at their wedding, people come from all over the country to be at weddings and you can't even provide a meal? If you can't afford a five-star wedding then don't have one.

[@BB-bx4dp]

Am I the only one who would lose all trust in a friend who lied to everyone by claiming their wedding was just a party?

[@christinesmith1827]

I would certainly think twice about attending any future events they hosted...

[@jadedixon3641]

Yeah, I would lose all trust. Not only are large gatherings stressful for me on their own, finding out the event I planned for is not the one happening... just say goodbye to the "friendship" right there.

[@eleanorbassett5536]

I loved this!!! Can't wait to see another one from you (hopefully lol)

[@catalinaaddams8581]

Last story: No I’m sorry… she asked beforehand… clearly if someone asks about the cost for attending it’s because they are being budget conscious (as in aware not that they are necessarily financially struggling) so if you say “no you don’t have to pay to attend” the assumption is that because I’m inquiring about costs you’d have the decency to be like “no, not to attend but because we have a special chef we are asking that guests pay for their meals”… I think the bride is shady and assumed that OP wouldn’t attend if she knew the cost upfront

[@moniqueferrez2207]

OMG! Loved watching this video. We need more stories!!

[@jesusxfreak2]

My brother and my new SIL just got married. Was a lovely event with Wedgewood Weddings and there was thankfully food served at the cocktail hour as well but of course everything was so organized that it was quick to get the regular food once we were seated as well. I couldn't imagine though someone asking ppl to pay for their plates and not put it on the invites (though I personally think you should only serve what you can afford and not ask guests to pay for their food)

[@RhiannaCH]

I had my wedding at Wedgwood weddings. It is a great company. All our guest had a great time.

[@jesusxfreak2]

@@RhiannaCH yah. they were so on time with everything and the food was great.

[@EmUhlee-]

Please do this again!! I love Reddit stories lol

[@nadiadansani2139]

Guest fees: paying for food, partially paying for the menu

[@Purplegoldfish]

If someone is making an excuse to not come, then do you really want them there? My sister in law had a very weak excuse to not attend our wedding, and honestly, if that's how important she saw our day I didn't want her there anyway (also she verbally abuses my husband/her brother soooooo..)

[@valkyrieraven7446]

As someone who is getting married in a few months, I’ve had invitations sent to family members and friends that I’m almost positive won’t be attending for one reason or another. However, that doesn’t mean that they won’t still send a gift. I wouldn’t be upset if someone said that they can’t make it unless they didn’t tell me until last minute and had already said that they would

[@PaulaNaranjo1988]

in my country (Argentina) it's kind of common (but also somewhat tacky) for guests to pay for their own dinner or the party attendance fee and for the bride and groom to pay for the rest. Usually, weddings start at around 9PM and end at 5AM so there's a different price for people who enter after 12AM and those guests usually have to pay to get in. It is not expected of those guests to bring gifts at all. Some people also make you pay to attend the dinner, but that is less common. It happens a lot with people who have no budget for the wedding.

[@davidandemilyjohnson9896]

Im 2 weeks out and needed this kind of video thank you 🥺❤️

[@16poetisa]

I don't blame the last OP for maybe not handling things tactfully enough, because there's nothing so terrible as being hungry and expecting a good meal but then having the rug pulled out from under you. I'm vegan and my hungry-to-hangry time is real short, so I always bring backup food with me. But when I RSVP with my dietary needs and then it turns out I can't eat anything after all, it's so disappointing. The last wedding I went to, when I saw all the vegetable options at the buffet I was pretty satisfied... until my sister checked and found out that everything had butter except for the salad. I hadn't had a proper meal since the day before and I had an instant hangry mood swing. I didn't want to risk my stomach getting upset, so I just ate some lettuce and then went outside to cry and eat my sad little protein bar. After the speeches I went and got a giant bowl of veggie ramen and ate it in record time, in my wedding guest finery no less.

[@jennifermcdaniel3910]

2 of my FAVORITES!!! JAMIE & AITA!!! 💜💜💜

[@lovelyrainflowerfarm]

We need to give grace when ppl don’t know how to play by the rules we’re inventing - lol so true 🤣

[@lexim1934]

"let that hurt if it needs to hurt"

[@stevieray7203]

Corpse Bride..sometimes the trash takes itself out. They saved you a lot of drama in the future.

[@laurapfel]

The idea from the first one might have been from the movie "what if" and I really loved it and was thinking about going this direction with out wedding ❤😂 but as engagement parties aren't a thing around here it wouldn't have worked out anyway

[@autumnmolick1333]

First 30 seconds, you are so funny. Keep it up!

[@kasandramckenna3250]

Where was the McDonald’s debacle story from?

[@jeanninepink]

I'm serious too... Where is it!!!??? At least I can say I never heard of such a thing like the last post and in from Mexico. . . So, maybe this will keep me up all night, damn it 😹😹😹 also I vote for more videos like this from you! And it reminded me of the last season of YOU and a KZbinr (ex co-founder/owner of Artic Fox ~ the baby shower 🍼 turned into a wedding an people didn't knew) I personally wouldn't do that... Also I would like to make sure it's mine and my then fiance's wedding and not a surprise party (I'm not engaged but that's my opinion in surprise weddings ~ for me is a NO NO)

[@apollo21lmp]

i've been to many weddings, either as a guest or as an officiant and i have never heard of the guests having to pay for either the meal or an "entry fee" to attend. even at my first and third weddings, (yes, i said 3), the wedding couple and/or their families paid for the reception and all food. some people are just cheep and entitled if they expect friends and guests to pay for the reception or even, (as i've seen in other YT vids), the honeymoon.

[@writerspen010]

Does anyone know which nation or culture the Michelin star poster was from??

[@1sheilajanae]

The tea is hot today😂

[@Seanna0113]

I love this so much

[@Seanna0113]

Also I used the master plan for a couple months when I first got engaged last July and now I’m 3 months out from my wedding and everything has been done for a while now and it’s great! Thanks!

[@debeightonethree6346]

Unfair for us to judge? They posted the story to the internet for judgement!

[@zacharyhagen2307]

I feel like you show up for family. Sister should show up.

[@gaeathomson7943]

I have neeeever heard of a wedding where you have to pay for the meal. What in the world🤣 i would’ve gotten McDonald’s too!

[@stacymitchell4829]

Hi Jamie, I've kind of marathoner your videos since my fiance and I got engaged New Years Eve. I have a question that I haven't seen addressed in your videos. Say the bride (or groom) has a deceased father (or mother) is it appropriate for the bride to give a speech about her father in lieu of the father's and the father/daughter dance? I don't want to bring the mood down, but I'd like to give some words, and I know some people choose to have another family member walk them down the aisle and do the dance, but for me I'd rather not "replace" him if that makes since. My mother will unlikely be able to attend the wedding as she will be living abroad and is unwilling to travel unless I escort (but that's an entirely different situation we won't get into)

[@VioletEmerald]

I think it's beyond appropriate and makes perfect sense to honor your Dad in this way at your wedding. Do what feels right to you. It's your day.

[@xfairfaeriex]

Definitely okay to change the expectations/events of the wedding. We changed things in our wedding as did a friend of mine for hers. Weddings are a very personal affair and should be done in the way that suits you guys best. Plus you shouldn’t have to think back on your big day and regret not sticking to what feels right to you. It should be a day you remember fondly knowing you followed your heart. ❤

[@stardustmelody2709]

The White dress story should have been handled differently. She should have asked the bride. Husbands generally don't understand wedding traditions, or do’s and dont’ts😂

[@katherineschmidt2075]

To me, about the 1st couple, if they're gonna block you because you did exactly what they stated for the party, you went in costume, but yes as a corpse bride. Well they aren't good friends anyway. I wouldn't bother trying to keep in touch and keeping them as friends. Not worth it.

[@michellebrickner9307]

About the 2nd one, you can have a horrible relationship with someone and genuinely not want to ruin something important to them. I'm not saying the sister would have ruined the wedding, but she may think she will and is trying to prevent that. If the bride really wants her there, she could work with her sister to figure something out (like a way to make a quick exit, see if maybe a therapist can be there, etc). However, the bride (and the family) should not try to guilt the sister into coming. The sister may genuinely be doing what she feels is best not only for herself but also the bride and should be allowed to do so without being made out to be the enemy.

[@minnie9649]

I don’t understand when people throw traditional etiquette rules to the wind, and are then shocked and offended when their guests follow suit.

[@pixiewixiechu]

Having no 1 star reviews is a huge red flag that they potentially take down reviews. People will give 1 star bc they can't bully someone into a discount, so having none is shady.

[@overworked123]

Hahahahha! Sounds like brides want a fancy wedding way beyond their budget. That's not what makes a wedding special. Love is. If you have crackers and cheese with homemade cake with your special person and friends and family in the back yard, you'll be happier than if you spent lots of money and lost friends over drama.

[@it.comes.around]

Honestly, if even the smallest question can ruin your day, get a wedding planner to funnel all your questions. That last bride let a simple question about running to get McDonalds ruin her day? That’s kind of ridiculous. I get that sometimes the stress of wanting it all to go perfect can get to you, so if you are one of those people, have someone else take on that stress. I get that it’s pricey, but you had the money to rent from a Micheline star restaurant, if your that set on your vision, budget right for it. I can understand something upsetting the first bride, especially because it seems she was getting false information from what I read in other comments, as that is a small in-house budget friendly wedding, but if you want to be high class, think high class and hire a planer. The last op was not the AH, they offered a solution to a problem the bride created and not having money should not be shamed like that by her boyfriend or friend group, who seem to disregard that in the moment, SHE DIDN’T HAVE THE MONEY TO GET HOME IF SHE PAID FOR FOOD 😤

[@greeeneyes91]

what is going on with people, that is incredible

[@moyaatje8762]

The whole let no be no part... I have to disagree... It flipping hurts when you're the bride and NOT A ONE family member from your side shows up besides you parents and sibling... And everyone from your husband's side shows up saves from srsly physically incapacitated old people

[@Cheshiregrinn91]

That is so bizarre. 'everyone knows you don't wear a wedding dress to a wedding!' yeah but they didn't wear a wedding dress to a wedding. they wore a wedding dress to a costume party.

[@erinnichols4866]

🤔💍

[@shalimarjackson1222]

You are indeed the AH you are the type of person that want all eyes in them. This was not the appropriate time to "PRANK" when at am engaged apartment. Why would she as the husband anyway.

[@tapangasummers4729]

Honestly though an engagement party still? No white no wedding

[@yougosquishnow]

It also makes a big difference that the op in the first story is a guy. I could maybe get it if it was a woman, but a man In a wedding dress costume can't even be close to seen as trying to one up the bride.

[@nikkiprobert8544]

The first bride and groom are A-holes

[@bleachguy64]

I would be pretty upset if a crossdressing trans dude showed up to my wedding also.

[@SarcasticPixie]

I would never wear a Corpse Bride costume to ANY WEDDING EVENT. It’s common sense. I would feel like the wedding itself was being mocked…it’s a freaking DEAD BRIDE. No one has any common sense anymore.

[@ryannevanvliet5569]

so I stalked the reddit threads. For the McDonald's one, OP initially wanted to sneak out and get some affordable food, but the bride was checking on her guests who didn't order anything. So OP was afraid of being caught that he/she sneaked away.

[@jenniferdaniels701]

Yeah, I'm not sure there was a best way to deal with that. If you ask the bride to borrow money, she'd complain that she almost went broke on the day, and of course didn't bring money along for someone else. If you just left and came back without saying a word, you'd be suspicious, especially if the bride noticed you left.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

So it was a no-win situation?? Yeah, OP likely will have to distance herself from said friend.

[@birdyburdy839]

Also is everyone forgetting that she literally said in the post that she could not afford both. Like if she had gotten that meal she wouldn't have been able to get home.

[@elinamauno8833]

So she told some people that the food was included in the wedding… And then went to question people who didn’t order something when they had been swapped with food that wasn’t included… I am just so confused with the Logic there

[@elinamauno8833]

I have now heard of 3 cases of these ”surprise” weddings taking place at what was advertised as something else. I mean, I personally do not even see the point in doing this - like I understand setting up a surprise party for someone else. But having the ”celebrated people” be the only ones who knew, seems odd. People might genuinely be unprepared for a wedding in terms of what to bring, and what to wear, for example. On top of this - doing the ”surprise” wedding, not giving a dress code to the guests for the facade event, and then being mad at someone not wearing something you deem appropriate to a wedding is so absolutely bonkers I cannot even. THEY themselves, no one else, chose to do the surprise - and will have to carry the consequences that could rise from it - such as clothing not fit for a wedding.

[@uninvincibleete]

8:50 - thank you so much for talking about trauma response in such a considerate and well-explained way. We can't know someone's intentions--maybe she's faking, maybe she's not--but at the end of the day, if someone sets a boundary (on their own behavior, not others) then that should be the end of the discussion. If she says 'I can't come, it's too upsetting for me', then that shouldn't be up for negotiation. She shouldn't have to *earn* the right in OP's eyes to be traumatized. It's ok for OP to be sad about it, but then maybe OP could work something out with her instead that will work within her boundaries (like a non-wedding party while the family is in town). Also regardless of the reason, why would anyone want to force someone to be at their wedding who doesn't want to be there? It's supposed to be a party, not a prison. Weird controlling attitude imo.

[@aleksandra...]

I'm also pretty sure the bride would expect her to *be* /act/ happy for her happy day. So the sister knows she would need extra emotional control, or will be the one who "ruins" the mood.

[@QuestionableLifeChoices]

the dinner one reminds me of my cousin's wedding years ago! the ceremony was relatively early but there was, like, a 4 hour cocktail hour and even with the small amounts of food, we were all starving so a bunch of us left and had a small dinner/appetizers at a bar/restaurant and when we came back (with still, like, an hour of cocktail hour left) and dinner was eventually served, the servings were TINY. plus, the bride was vegetarian so there was only one meat "option" which was about 10 small meatballs in the middle of every table, 1 per person. the manicotti i had tasted off, too. ultimately, people had a good time but didn't feel very good so when one of my cousins ordered pizza to his hotel afterwards for a few people, everyone realized that they weren't sick, they were just literally starving lol. that was the wedding where the family learned the importance of having enough food and it wasn't an issue at a family wedding again, and we've had about 8 weddings in the 11-12 years since 😂

[@helenameyer9778]

I love this idea and I definitely vote for you reading more AITA wedding threads!

[@becp488]

That first one! If that was my surprise costume wedding, I would think it hilarious if a mate was in a corpse bride costume. Image the fun photos you could get.

[@kristinmichels1963]

We're having a costume wedding and I would LOVE if someone came dressed as Corpse Bride!

[@ms.i9055]

Maybe she was part of the wedding party and couldn't leave unnoticed. She could have said that I have to step out for a quick emergency and I will come ASAP. I wouldn't have given an explanation either, just like the bride didn't fully explain that I have to pay for my meal. Also, the rule of thumb when it comes to my stomach is that I don't hope on people. I will always eat something before going anywhere, just in case if the food is bad, or not to my liking.

[@dginicola]

Omg I wanna see pictures of the corpse bride costume! I agree they are not the A hole. This is hilarious! 😂❤

[@salamanda11]

I loved this! Please do more! That last one was wild. You gotta tell people if they are going to need to pay for anything at your wedding. Wow.

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Lol these reaction videos are the best, you should definitely do more :)

[@GabriellaLivBrown]

I agree!

[@sun-bleachedbones6027]

On that first one, I think the mistake was asking the groom if the dress was okay instead of the bride XD

[@scook449]

update says that the groom had it out for OP because OP is a guy friend of the bride. Groom wanted to break up their friendship so groom lied to the bride, saying OP didn't ask, causing drama so they had an excuse to block OP and cut them out. OP telling the bride that he did ask, and that the groom said it was okay, threw the grooms plan off. Now the bride is starting to get word of other stuff against her friends the groom has done and is seeing a lot of red flags she ignored.

[@adiarae360]

The way I found out my boyfriend bought my engagement ring so now I’m BINGING your channel. Originally started watching as a bridesmaid helping her bestie and now it’ll be for me!! 🎉

[@rachel_sj]

I got married six months ago and I wish I found out about this channel as I was planning my wedding, starting a year ago now! 😅 Congrats and best wishes on your upcoming union!! 😊❤

[@jeanninepink]

Oh my goodness... I know it's not probably correct to say this quite yet because you aren't engaged just yet but congratulations 🎉 🎉 🎉

[@samdesylva6236]

Have fun on the journey!!!

[@kristyrussell5493]

Congratulations!!

[@annelixa9]

I really relate to that second one. My brother's wife died 10 days after their wedding and they got married because of her cancer. I got married last summer and was worried about him because it was 5 years after and was the first wedding he had gone to since. We had a photo display of past weddings from both my wife's and my family. There was a picture from his wedding and he got upset when he saw it. My aunts comforted him and did I get upset about him "taking attention off me"? No! I talked to my mom about how I could help instead. I stopped partying for a while and went and comforted him too. We hugged and he thanked me for including her by having the picture. When we got our pictures back, there was a photo of him being comforted by our aunts and we removed it before he saw any. I did all those because I love my brother. We talked before the wedding if he was sure that coming was the best choice. I can't imagine having done anything different and being mad at him if he had decided it was too hard to come.

[@georgianevada]

Seriously though, where is this happening? I’m so confused 😂

[@Moonbutnosun]

An ENTRANCE FEE to your friend's wedding?!? Is this a concert cuz girl no

[@georgianevada]

@@Moonbutnosun right!? I don’t get itttt!

[@sarahl8004]

I definitely did not want one negative word said to me during my wedding day so as for me, I would prefer the friend go get the burger by themself and not tell anyone and come back after, even though I would also never have charged for wedding food.

[@nadiadansani2139]

The first one is wishy washy The second one I think the sister is doing too much, JUST COME

[@angelar5264]

When they first said “Guest Fees” my initial though would be cash bar or paying for parking. Those are expenses I could see asking about to be prepared for. I would never have thought you’d get charged for a meal at a wedding.

[@loosilu]

The way I see it, if I'm paying for my meal, I'm not your "guest."

[@7echostar]

The location of the “guest fee” was really bothering me too so I did some research. Apparently it’s a thing in Japanese culture?? Can someone verify this?

[@shreshthaghoshal4038]

I think it's more of a cash gift to the couple rather than like, a fee to be allowed in to the wedding which is what guest fee sounds like to me.

[@esunablizzard6482]

@@shreshthaghoshal4038 I agree with this. I'm pretty sure cash gifts (possibly in red envelopes) on special occasions are a thing in Asian culture, and not giving one would be like, a faux pas. In Mexico, people will often use safety pins to pin cash to the bride and groom as cash gifts (after dancing with them), but it was an optional thing people did. That said, I've heard reaction videos to Bridezilla Reddit stories where guests were required to pay for their plates (like $150-$250 even) to attend but it was usually mentioned in the invitation or in response to their RSVP (surprise! You're agreeing to attend, so you will be expected to pay this much!) and were still expected to bring wedding gifts. Sometimes they imposed a minimum dollar value for those expected wedding gifts. My guess is these people couldn't afford a big wedding but still wanted to have one, so they're placing the remaining financial burden on the guests and using the fact that it's a wedding to justify it. If you can't afford a big wedding and still want your loved ones to attend, you need to scale it down or something. They could say due to their budget they can only afford to have X amount of guests.

[@elewysoffinchingefeld3066]

I've never had to pay for food at a wedding. For drinks, yes. For a wedding rehearsal, sure, but not the wedding meal itself. I wouldn't have prepared for it, either, unless it was stipulated clearly in the invitation. And I've been to weddings where I wasn't able to eat the food due to allergies, so I had to just have the bread and butter that was provided at the tables. I would love to have more context, too.

[@floof_croissant]

Came for the wedding reddit drama and stayed for the wedding planner advice that I probably won't need for at least 10 years ❤ love the energy!

[@licoreen]

That third one was a shocker. I can imagine wedding guests being expected to pay for their own meals. And then the original poster’s boyfriend finding that acceptable? And the OP’s friends? I guess it must be customary somewhere.

[@atalmeowlaurent1847]

In Israel the minimum to go to a wedding is 100$ USD dollars, if you are a good friend, you have tongive more. The food can be awful, tue music, everything can be ugly and still have to pay that amount. I was in shock, an apparently many do not go to weddings because they don't have the money. Once I went to a wedding where the food was vegan, I was soooo hungry, many wedding are after work and I wasn't the only one. We could only eat salads. The reason the food was awful it was because the bride's taste on food, but in my opinion, not everyone is vegan....

[@michelleeriksen6816]

Let your yes be yes, and your no be no! Quite a Biblical concept 😸 My brother didn't come, which I didn't like, but I was barely able to spend time with my family anyway at my wedding so it didn't matter much. At least to me

[@freudianslip2010]

There are so many good weddings AITAs, you could totally make this a series. I am with you on all your judgments.

[@nadiadansani2139]

There’s currently a debate online as to whether or not bridesmaids are supposed to stay till the end of the wedding

[@carolinelabbott2451]

Quick query. By stay till the end of the wedding, do you mean till the end of the marriage ceremony, till end of wedding reception/party, or till the end of the day is done, or till the bride and groom leaves for their honeymoon?

[@minnie9649]

I cannot fathom that a Michelin star restaurant service would agree to cater a wedding where they would charge each guest, and then the food is $50? I understand that is a lot for people, but Michelin restaurants are much more expensive than $50. Perhaps this is in the UK where it may be more normal to pay for your own wedding meal?

[@candacestamper6769]

Ehhhh.... you can't marry someone terminal * because * they are terminal and then say for the rest of your life "sorry, can't go to the wedding, my dying husband died". Please.

[@shortangel333]

Right? But also they arent close so maybe she just didn't want to go which fair enough she doesn't have to.

[@ashenwalls3558]

I think I held my breath through that entire video... Ugh wedding drama is so stressful (but juicy).

[@songpoetry1]

That Michelin one is so weird to me! 😮 Why would you expect guests to shell out money for your wedding feast? Everywhere that I've ever lived that's the bride and groom's responsibility! Maybe it's my Russian-German heritage speaking, but to me feeding your guests well is the most basic of all basic hospitality. I'd feel ashamed if any guest of mine wasn't stuffed to the brim with delicious food on my dime. Only then can you feel offended if the guest is not eating any of your offered foods.

[@carolynv8979]

If someone buys me food I feel I HAVE to clean my plate. It goes back to comments my grandma would make when I was younger. Its something I’ve been working on & I’m getting better, but I would leave room for a wedding meal rather than risk looking unappreciative.😅

[@ShanaGarrett]

The corpse bride guy is definitely NTA, but that bride was a psycho.