AITA for Serving my Boyfriend a Cookbook for Dinner?

[@T_Cup]

I never get men who want traditional women, but never hold themselves up to any of the standards of traditional men. If this man isn't covering all the expenses, housing them, taking the lead on making her feel loved and pursued and spoiling her on every special occasion, then no he doesn't get a free cook - he's not doing anything more than a regular roommate would

[@raed3240]

They forget how " traditional" courtship also meant celibate dating until the wedding. Then working all day for a family they only see a few hours a week. And chivalry the whole time. Lmao. I don't think anyone rly wants that nowadays so if there's no comprises it's doomed to fail.

[@nolwazi3076]

They want maids lol

[@lauraelliott6909]

He's prioritizing his feelings and comfort over her future.

[@cristalvelarde8734]

Did he ever apologize? Admit he was being selfish? Did he ever learn to make a few meals? Did they break up? I have so many questions

[@arden2113]

Ugh. Weaponized incompetence is so real. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

[@thejato]

Judge Lynn Toler gives brilliant advice about this. Don't take shit when you're studying and building your career. You had to wait too long for your date to show up? Out. Someone threw a tantrum because you were studying and can't text back? Out. Your only priority is setting yourself up for success. The right person will wait. The others can walk out.

[@esmooth919]

NTA. If he's too selfish to understand that you are trying to better yourself and your career, then that's kind of a huge problem

[@maddyjoy7858]

That's called academic abuse. Break up with him.

[@mellsgonzalez224]

This is so important ! A lot of young women need to hear this term !!!

[@madnessarcade7447]

My parents used to let me use the oven to bake with their supervision since I was like 5 In high school was when I started experimenting with cooking on my own Now I’m good enough at it

[@veryaveragebunny]

Sometimes people settle but sub par treatment because they actually gotten less, worse, or nothing in their own childhood. Sometimes we settle. Sometimes our brain does a funny thing and tells us that’s all we deserve. It’s a constant battle going uphill with no shoes and no resources but luckily we have a community of strong women that wait for us on the other wise

[@SophiasSleepySounds]

I am literally in culinary school and so busy with working and studying. My boyfriend had no idea how to cook but he watched me and videos. Now on late nights I come home to a hot meal. After I went a 12 hour day of cooking I shouldn’t have to come home and cook again.

[@Emchav99]

Ew immediate breakup. The minute someone starts saying “you make me feel” I cut them off. I didn’t make you do anything stfu 😂

[@gnocchipr1nc3ss]

I think it depends on context. In a relationship especially you are actually capable of influencing your partners feelings, and it’s ok to acknowledge that. It’s when (like in this post) it’s being used to manipulate someone and blame them for something that is so extremely unreasonable and then refusing to take any responsibility for his own emotional reaction. There is a way to talk about feelings and how both people influence them without being an asshole I think. I know what you meant though :)

[@ccgold24]

If OP reads this, break up with him. When I met my fiancé, he didn’t know how to cook anything, and now he cooks food that is just as delicious. He’s showing you his true colors girlfriend.

[@Joey1800cc]

I did a great job by meal prepping over a fair few weeks so that by the time my thesis is under the pump for these last couple months, I don't need to cook. I occasionally clean because well, I make mess too but meal prepping solved so much for me and the people I live with have been really great. I get budget constraints really affect this ability but our food budget is $120 for a week/3 people and it's just a matter of setting aside a portion here and there. It's tight, but we prioritise affording healthy dinners (bulk of the budget) and scattered unhealthy foods and we are all eating way better and satisfied. We are all very busy too so not just me so I know they appreciate just being able to grab one of the 83 meals (yep) and be done. It took a while to figure out cooking for the freezer and making sure when things are thawed they still taste good, but honestly it has saved me so much time in the kitchen!

[@alemtorsaula]

I consider myself SO lucky that my partner is not only a line cook, but also will step up and cook dinner if I (bartender) am working later than he is. I only ask him to cook once in a blue moon, and it's only to tell him what needs to be cooked. And the mans knows so much better than I do about how to cook meat. He is the meat man when we buy good steaks for dinner, and it's a team effort. I can't begin to say how thankful I am for him. That in itself is messed up, because every partnership should be like this regardless of each person's skill set. I feel for OP but her man needs to get his act together.

[@llillylion1314]

Oh! I knew this one would be a another banger

[@Raraking4796]

I did want to say that personally I feel like the stocking thing isn’t always because they don’t love you. I think most women pay more attention to detail and men have a broader look at things. In my family literally in our individual households and in our big family Christmas the grown women take care of the majority of the stocking stuffers and the guys handle the presents. The women of course but presents too but not nearly to the same capacity of the men. My husband makes more money than me and the other households are similar based on our job chooses and hours we work. Just because your man doesn’t fill your stocking doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Sometimes the new bed or other pricey gift they’ve bought for you is what’s been on their mind for you. My husband is getting so good at cooking. Previously he only get comfortable bbqing. Now he still cooke he was just super self conscious about it. Chore wise we each do the chose the other one hates. I hate doing the floors and yard work so my husband does those and I do the dishes, laundry as he’s not a fan of those and I don’t mind them at all. Marriage is about working together. My husband and I have different work schedules and so we take turns with dinner. We both have one day off together and so the cooking on that day may very 5 days if one of us is working the other one isn’t and the last remaining day we both work. Whoever has the days off cooks dinner on our days off. The day we both work is a free for all. Haha

[@JB-qf5ep]

He does not think your education matters or that you have any academic/career intentions that he deems worthy of acknowledgement or respect. Basically, he thinks you are 'playing school' like how children 'play house'. He does not respect you as an individual separate from what maidlike tasks you can perform for his benefit. Unfortunately, that signifies it isnt a real relationship of equals - he views himself as the employer who is so powerful he can control his housekeeper to perform in any way he sees fit, and he is annoyed that the housekeeper didnt meet every single need of his today. It almost feels like he is a second from saying 'You are on the clock, so study on your own time (which is never).' Leave and find someone who actually appreciates your individual goals.

[@jane-annarmstrong6562]

I am a mom of 2 boys 25&14 yes both of them can cook I made sure if it . I am the main cook in my house .. however if I don’t feel like it my husband and son will gladly take over

[@lesliea07]

I had to learn at the age of 7 how to cook for me and my sister due to mom being away, Dad on crack and his girlfriend on crack. It’s not hard. Canned food. frozen meals. Chicken. Oven baked foods. it’s not rocket science. Follow the directions and then cook it. Smfh.

[@Harley24986]

I'm very much a traditional wife and love to cook for my husband...that being said, if I am sick, or genuinely busy, he fends for himself or does his best to cook in my place for the family. This guy is a giant baby. Make a sandwich dude. Sheesh.

[@Siminiski253]

Oh my god... is this about my ex?!

[@Ilikefrogs..]

Let’s stop blaming the mother for her son’s misogyny.

[@destinyschild5768]

But to be fair in my family my mom never expects my brother to cook even when we go to his house me and my mom need to prepare something and bring it there or else we won’t eat anything. Plus when he comes over my mom bothers me that I need to have something prepared for him and fix his plate. Some mothers do teach this and the son continue this behaviour to the girlfriend

[@gnocchipr1nc3ss]

It’s complicated but women are capable of perpetuating misogyny too!

[@beelarehman5992]

Thank you Andrew Tate

[@esmooth919]

Some people can't cook for shit, despite their best efforts. Some people are even in danger of burning the house down, So I personally wouldn't make fun of someone for not knowing how to cook If they legitimately don't know how