Bo Burnham - "I'm Bo Yo" Super Extended - Aladdin Theater - 10/16/2009 *EXPLICIT* w/Lyrics

Bo gives us some fun snippets of other songs and then launches into his 11th song "I'm Bo Yo" which turns out to be a super long and crazy extended version. This was at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon on October 16, 2009. The first part he starts playing is the tune to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton.
Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays
But they could probably "tie the knot" in like...
I got a safe full of cherries,
cause I pop it and lock it,
A girl's like a fridge,
once a week you should stock it,
And girl, if your into a rimming
it's only safe if your swimming,
but girl don't sit on the couch
cause I treat my objects like women.
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shits so hot I leave your toilet bowl steaming
I'm gonna tarot like the cards of the gypsies
You'll bleed for so long you'll get monthly ellipses.
If your pants are loose, I'll re-pleat ya.
You're a first time vegan and it's nice to meet ya
I'm bo yo I'm the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
Think your better you're not
Don't need a sweater I'm hot
I'm a real G that can really find your g spot
Whoa yeah! Help me out doorman!
Go to a Vagina orchard, count 1, 2, 3
Spin that plant around you got a third world CUNT-try
That's right, consider yourself warned
I'm offensive and creative like handicapped porn
Your playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am?
Your pushing 'em together like a titty Venn diagram
Look at that CRACK excuse me can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphragm, ass looks like your hiding ham.
First base, were making out mother-f*****
Second base, I'm getting faked out yo
Third base, I'm getting take out
Try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out
But I just don't know
I said I just don't care
I said my flow is so cold
I need a tampon for my polar bear
And you can spell and smell my stink
B.O. lingers and it makes you think
Chorus
It was all a dream I used to read a quick Nick magazine
Ren and Stimpy, Tommy Pickles and the gang between
I'm watching TV in the dark
Every Saturday Double dare with my main man Marky Mark
Summers, Falls, Winters and Springs
I've seen 19 sets cut me open count the rings
But I wish that I could be 8, 9, or 10
Wearing "Life is Good" t-shirts that made sense back then
You wanna know me well here's a list
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed
I like palindromes like "do geese see god?"
Or "go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog"
and I can do a rubix cube in a minute 20
Fast food and the internet's plenty for me
I'm simple with one dimple
and a weird mole thing on my left nipple
I'm part of the fattest country on the global scale
and were phat with a ph on the ph scale
Because we're so basic
Give us a house and a car and a kid
So we can raise it praise it blaze it up
and get lasic to see how bad we fucked it up
We all had braces our smiles are fake
Another mother saw her hunter daughter's water break (?)
The Miley Cirus virus is as bad as it gets
and similarly bad is simile Tourette's
'Cause like its like I like my right to like
but like I also have like a life to write right? Wrong.
This is a road kill song but I couldn't avoid the bouncing ball during the sing along
I'm a little tea pot whose steaming mad because the worlds not terrible cuz im hot
1, 2, Fuck You
I take a stroll around the block to relax my mind
and then I walk by the clock just to pass the time
and rhymin', mathematical timin', syntax impacts the intact hymen trust me,
you don't want to fuck with me check my record,
wrecked it on my SAT's I got a 780 math, 730 verbal
kick a Jonas brother and he'll fart out a gerbil
Voice so sweet call me Mr. Herbal Tea
more deadly than Joseph Goebbel's pee
in a swastika Dixie cup
I got a dick full of helium I'll fuck you up
Put up your fists its a battle of wits
and if you bring your facts sis
just the cattle with tits
and I'll get mad at their zits
and paddle their bits
with saddles and whips
and rattle their clits...that was rude.....
Yo, Cause girls are like donuts when I be busting Bo nuts,
I can make em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
I'm like Doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her.
'Cause I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise.
My girl's epileptic cause she's the one I'm jerkin with
Come on you Asian child laborer show me what your working with
Ooooh large machinery
'Cause there's an inverse relationship between respect and sex
I'm talking about religious sex like a Mormon sect
That says you can't have sex with members of different spects eeeaaaahh...
This description isn't long enough to put the last part in, but you get the idea. "This song's gonna end really awkwardly. Thank you." =)

[@obviouslynova4803]

"This song is called: If you sing along, I'll fucking kill you"

[@paper9945]

It's actually this show is called

[@jeojeb99]

lol

[@kroxldiphyvc]

Justin Campbell it's not timed poorly, it's timed perfectly which is why it works so well, it just wasn't written to include wait time for people to laugh... if you want that with your jokes stick to the monotonous drone that is television

[@ethansaucier2917]

Pretty sure you responded to the wrong comment chain.

[@geraghtyvellante3559]

Ethan Saucier ikr I was just thinking that

[@kadeishere]

He has so many perfect clever jokes in this song that people don't get because he raps it all so fast

[@BaratoneBass]

nah i reckon people do get em but its timed poorly so they cant laugh or else they miss jokes

[@SirGraffitiArt]

i dont think it was timed poorly, it wasnt written to be performed in front of a crowd

[@toaonua523]

Part of the reason he plays quickly and out of rhythm is to keep people from singing along, it distracts him :P

[@genieboyle269]

It makes me cringe when people say cringe

[@OakQueso]

@@BaratoneBass There is no way you can understand all the jokes in this song. Some of them are just too abstruse and complex.

[@hayleydavidson3556]

I love that girl who told her friend to "shhh" because she was singing along probably didn't want Bo to rip her a new asshole like he does when people sing along to his songs xD he's hilarious

[@RCISG4Y]

He's such a savage I love it xD

[@mabellinco157]

What is the timestop

[@lazywriting7044]

When?

[@boybeans1535]

@@mabellinco157 1:57- 2:03 is the girl singing and then the friend's shushh

[@fjoo]

You can tell how much he loathes half of that audience. He needs to bring a guy with a tranquilizer gun to his gigs.

[@kjk3995]

i think his whole thing about hating the audience is like half all part of the act and half the truth.

[@BananaWhiplash]

+Kalea Kogon I always assumed it's partially an act, because aside from him never really speaking badly about his fans, there was that time during "what." where he broke character to tell everyone how he felt like blessed thanks to his fans and etc, and then he says he's going to "revert back into his stage persona" and does it all dramatically and looks at the crowd like he hates them all.Mostly it's an act, but I can imagine that he gets annoyed when they heckle him since he's less of a stand up comedian and it's more like he puts on one-man shows.

[@austinhart7830]

ever since what he has been getting panic attacks when people laugh or interrupt his show. and he covers it up with jokes and small smiles...

[@JCMZTheGamer]

Austin Hart Wait for real?

[@nu_keys]

It's his stage persona: Conflicted, unhappy kid who uses comedy to give others what he can't have + arrogant douche that thinks he's better than everyone.

[@LastEmblem]

For the G-spot joke he should have played all the G's on the keyboard and said, "Oh yeah, right there"

[@quinndenson3489]

*emo Intensifies*

[@solitaryshadow3978]

True but people don't know a g note when they hear one

[@isaacrumley]

@@quinndenson3489 what does that even mean?

[@reenasharma3004]

@@quinndenson3489 they are back it doesn't hurt anymoreeee

[@bulborb2088]

Isaac Rumley The song welcome to the black parade starts with a piano playing a g note. The band who wrote it, My Chemical Romance, is commonly attributed to be emo

[@gabbykingmusic]

It makes me cringe when people sing along because we all know how much he hates it and you can see him tensing up.

[@Oli16259]

If you sing along i fucking kill you😅

[@ctsilver_1642]

Oli Ok then.... lmao

[@setatimerforonehour]

Oli r/beatmetoit

[@j8rh3ad43]

I think that’s why he sped it up

[@boredomwastaken609]

Oh No in which song?

[@otrg13]

I like how he sings really fast so the people singing along get tripped up.

[@zoeguevara2414]

I hate it when people sing along... the only time you are aloud to sing aloud it when you're watching him through a screen. Not at a show... that's his time to shine!

[@kiwisareoranges6717]

Zoe Guevara Me everytim lol

[@LoreCatan]

Let's keep this one year late chain going bois

[@paytonfederico-stopa]

i gotchu :)

[@AlexanderrRobinEvans]

Payton Laine keep the late comment chain going :)

[@guymaniii6467]

That one part in repeat stuff as well

[@coolkatmehrfth]

"Go hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog." That line is what made me love Bo because he successfully put a palindrome into a comedy/rap song. It's the same forward and backward.

[@lukasgoldberg3762]

Weird al?

[@lukepascarelli4449]

yeah that's the whole point. immediately before he said that, he said "I love palindromes like"

[@sammorris4722]

He didn't write that himself. It was on Time Warp Trio before he even hit puberty.

[@coolkatmehrfth]

Sara Woolerton yes, but the fact that he successfully integrated that into a song is awesome

[@user-ej3lh7dd1s]

Sara Woolerton but he swung and he missed

[@SuperMaggie21]

He mixed the lyrics of 'I'm Bo Yo' and 'Words, words, words'! Clever!

[@davidcomeaux1559]

its from 2009, I dunno if Words Words Words existed yet. Its interesting to see that some of those ideas existed before they were put in their final song

[@Crossark1]

Actually, this was how I'm Bo Yo used to be performed by him. You can find another example from 2009 under the title Bo Burnham Freaks Out Live Hilarious. He realized that it sounded neat after that incident, so he just kept it.

[@SuperMaggie21]

Wow! you guys are like.. Bo Professionals. Bo Pros. I should go to you guys when I wanna know about Bo. Thanks!

[@Crossark1]

Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad Not sure if sarcasm, or genuine feels.

[@SuperMaggie21]

Genuine feels.

[@kimihro4959]

I find it amazing that people still have to explain Bo's jokes after so long.

[@Maddie-sp5is]

So, so long, :)

[@Dawaddles]

His jokes are next level

[@GabrielCarpenter]

It'd be interesting to see if Bo Burnham did a "Retro" show where he plays his old electric keyboard and wears his tie dye shirts etc.

[@matthewmccafferty8745]

I laughed so much at "he beat her with an umbrella"

[@Lillyistrash]

i laughed so much at all of this

[@angelscupboard]

Chris Brown is an angry fella

[@LightItUpDan]

Best extended version of anything. EVER.

[@nopropicman5643]

agree

[@ava9365]

I know right

[@logicalnihilist4103]

So you and James both like Bo Burnham?

[@VoidZeroNothing]

You can hear some people rapping along and you can see how _pissed_ he is.

[@airsoftalpha62]

I love how he inserted jokes into the extended version from his song 'words, words, words' like at 4:44 he starts with walk by the clock just to pass the time or at 5:08 with "a dick full of helium i'll fuck you up" he must have been writing the song during this period

[@LilBoom]

CPTTrenchcoat same

[@creasyfisher8267]

I think he did this because people were singing along

[@omgwatson2452]

Creasy Fisher he did yeah.what im wondering is if he actually freestyled or if he had that written for another song

[@NuggetBarlow]

Watson Md some of it was from words words words

[@Strock72]

a few quotes were from words words words and the other is pre-written that's not freestyle

[@Foolzoid]

Also some from Hell of a Ride

[@celty_6835]

This is just how he used to perform this song live--

[@TheBlackMambaa248]

These are the crowds Bo absolutely cannot stand

[@gxgycf8348]

The audience was laughing so hard they missed the relationship between sects and sex joke.

[@epicdave01]

He put I'm Bo Yo and words words words together. That's awesome

[@pinklily7026]

I know right!!!!!!!!! BEST THING EVER!!!! Im lovin it.

[@emilymcintosh9368]

and hell of a ride

[@pmmenard4500]

Does this man just not need air? how does he do it

[@mischa2643]

He's quite tall-his torso is roughly two and a half feet long , and a good deal of that space is taken up by lungs. He needs air, he just has a larger space to hold it all in that most of us

[@MarieKyriney]

+Madeleine I don't know if this is right or wrong, just very well explained.

[@driceyt4252]

Madeleine not to mention he seems to be in good shape, so his lungs would have a larger capacity.

[@kiwisareoranges6717]

pm menard Yeah i sing along all the time I always need air.

[@eleanoraffirmations21]

3 years late but: kzbin.info/www/bejne/an-xomx5rcaha6c

[@shreklover2000]

I can't help but cringe every time I hear someone singing along, because Bo hates it and it's fun to watch him try and shake them off by changing the song up or singing faster.

[@pinklily7026]

I love when he does it.

[@rosendogavilan8193]

What makes you say he hates it

[@averytrexel]

@@rosendogavilan8193 maybe bc he said he hates it lmao

[@brendanfreed7850]

He may or may not be in love with that doorman...

[@prulinesale8829]

He rapped it so fast so no one could sing along oh my god

[@Superdarkcloud666]

Honestly, now that I'm listening to him sing it here, I'm amazed he was able to bring himself to sing it live. I mean having him record it or something is one thing, but I would feel so embarrassed and/or offensive in front of a crowd of people if I had to sing that.

[@kotapippen]

I guess if you've made a career of making more PG-13 jokes, you get used to the embarassment.

[@jamesbentonticer4706]

"...were fat with a ph on the PH scale, cuz were so basic..." LOL

[@troilo1000]

***** ph scale measures if something is acidic or basic.

[@MilaThePurpleOne]

What does basic have to do with the pH scale? I've always learnt it to be acidic or alkaline.

[@mickeymoose636]

MilaThePurpleOne on one end is acids, on the other end is bases.

[@jacoblandau5633]

Basic is a synonym for alkaline

[@ivegotcarrotsforlou]

Bo is so incredibly attractive...

[@pinklily7026]

So are you... Taco Bell

[@frnkiestorm1526]

Ikr

[@bruhh4255]

@@pinklily7026 lol

[@fetishcheese5415]

Im not gay but.....

[@fetishcheese5415]

@@starlesscitiess im so sorry for you

[@gabbykingmusic]

"ONE.. TWO.. FUCK.. YOU.." Genius.

[@kamilmartinez2150]

my favorite part is when someone shushes someone who's singing along

[@xpoppysophiax7004]

You can see him speeding up and slowing down to try and catch the audience out in singing with him ❤️😂😊

[@corbinh6972]

I was like 8 when I first heard this, and I listen to it now and it like completely different because I understand it.

[@pogogo51]

"This is a roadkill song but I couldn't avoid the bouncing ball during the sing along" Holy shit, how long was he planning this song? So singing along bugs him enough to write a song about, and he waited for a show when it got really bad to sing it? That's pretty cool, yo.

[@RavioliCorleone1]

Oh my god, that Bob Dylan joke is gold.

[@ShotableTricks]

I died

[@Frommsarah]

Oh my are you okay?

[@MarkFunderburk]

Frommsarah no he's dead..

[@Frommsarah]

seems serious

[@ShotableTricks]

yo im back

[@A_Hunters_Moon]

Rap battle Eminem Vs Bo Im sorry, I want to see this happen

[@danielaferrufino-borja1838]

Why is this not real yet!!???

[@andrewdefilippo2998]

This. Needs. To. Happen

[@ankurama42]

Eh. I don't want the Universe to blow up yet.

[@hunterchronister5574]

Yes

[@treyrath]

it could be allright.. but uhh...if you truly think if given time to prepare that anyone could come close to Eminem, will not happen...Watch Eminems last cypher.

[@japanime555]

This is what's cool about comedians who also do music. They can tell normal jokes as well as do jokes that would only work in song format.

[@obsidian7644]

One of the most genius lyrical songs ever written. The double and triple entundras are one after the other. Bo got bars

[@kjk3995]

i love that he rapped it faster and did the extra verse because he knew the audience loved that song. so thoughtful

[@Kianleahy]

Kalea Kogon he raped faster so no one could sing along because people were singing along

[@forty_two42]

You can see him working out the song words words words during this set

[@q7851]

you can see hes trying to sing fast even for the easiest part as "Im bo yo" so the audiences wont sing along. Why the fuck does people sing along? he never asked for it

[@nome33803]

This extended version is pretty juicy

[@jiggyjigster1117]

udont nome ayy

[@nome33803]

EMMET ayy

[@Careless_Chair_7352]

AM I SERIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THE BIGGIE SMALLS PART!!!???

[@reinhardtwilhelm5415]

I did a double take when I heard that opening line too.

[@Jessplaysgamesforyou]

I love how he laughs every now and then, It makes him seem funnier.

[@scenegirlilonka]

"When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed" I. Just. Can't. Story of my fucking life!

[@legoman1990]

He is a fucking genius!

[@allisonfig18]

He is such a great performer. He's just so comfortable on the stage... It's relaxing and refreshing. The way he deals with hecklers and mistakes is just so... REAL XP

[@johannal254]

i Love how he fucks with the audiance

[@elig7087]

I love that it looks like he's looking at the camera 😖😖

[@connorsullivan2745]

He’s always just stunned that people like what he does

[@joshj728]

Only took 8 years for this to reach a million views,glad to see it finally has

[@GuidedFireWind]

The fact that can recover from mistakes so perfectly that seems like it's part of his show is an art form.

[@zyzzer]

I was fortunate to get to go to this show, it was amazing!! Think about it often really...such a talented man. Miss ya Bo, come back soon!

[@bangtanjunkie1401]

I can't help but imagine a young(er) Bo singing songs like this at his school's talent show and his teachers would just feel so uncomfortable on the side as they stifled their laughter and also tried to uphold their jobs as educators. ...just a thought.

[@mr.cringekid5117]

I think I would have yelled "WILL YOU SHUT UP" to the audience that was just screaming.

[@linneascameraroll]

same lmao

[@ExtreamSports]

I heard some early Words Words Words in there. Interesting.

[@japanime555]

There was like a mixture of three other songs he wrote.

[@1TSRyan]

"Because BO lingers" Loved it.

[@MMCLLC7]

*Bo whispers* "...help me out, doorman"

[@orangefish727]

He wouldn't stop playing with his hair 😅😂

[@AlexanderrRobinEvans]

Orange Fish7 3 years late and thanks for commenting this, I noticed it too and thought it was so cute lol

[@eastiegonewestie1993]

I love how he quietly explains some of the puns.

[@pinklily7026]

This song's gonna end really awkwardly. Thank you." =)

[@andystith871]

It was all a dream, I used to read a quick Nick magazine, Ren and Stimpy, Tommy Pickles and the games between. I'm watching TV in the dark, every Saturday, Double Dare, the main man Marky Mark. Summers, falls, winters and springs, I've seen 19 sets, cut me open count the rings, but I wish that I could be 8, 9 or 10, wearing 'Life is Good' T-shirts, that made sense back then. You wanna know me? Well, here's a list, when I tried to hit puberty, I swung and I missed. I like palindromes like 'do geese see God?' and 'go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog'

[@thomasbethel9137]

I used to watch bo when I was like 13, the more I watch it as I get older I get more of the jokes I used to blindly laugh at

[@velvetsugar7644]

Honestly he sings so fast that i when i try and sing along i feel like my voice is going to disappear and its great ✨;D

[@ElezyerArts]

HOW DID I MISS THIS SHOW!?! I live in portland... Now im sad...

[@ImTriForceGuy]

I want a 'studio' version of this version.

[@deananuzzolese1591]

Me too, very much so!!

[@kevschnibbletz3808]

Oh boy

[@jacobguthrie6231]

**Blowing in the wind**

[@MsJjx]

He is actually so talented :)

[@---m---]

Blowing in the wind SENT ME

[@Dangshnizzle]

The first five lines of this extended version I believe were rather smart refferences to Biggie's Juicy. Actually he has been adding on to this addition to I'm Bo Yo for a long time now.

[@TheCullenHarkins]

Extended version best version

[@lilyharlin6634]

Fuck yes. Such raw comedy. Makes me wish I could go to a live show.

[@hannnnnnaahhhhh]

I was at that show and I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard in my life.

[@ArcticaTheFox]

“One, two, fuck, you” Best line 4:40

[@EmeraldSky33]

Bo is magic.

[@Gregory-ud6zq]

Wow that really is extended

[@JimmyNoonan724]

i saw him live on march 19th this is exactly how he sang I'm Bo Yo at my show! it was great

[@gavinstclair2945]

it says aladdin theatre and that means he already dressed up as alladin for halloween

[@DMVBOI_]

Lmfao

[@SirMan48]

I bet not a single kid in the audience recognized that his prostitute joke was a tribute to one of Bob Dylan's most important songs

[@meggriffon5124]

Am I the only one who didn't hear the other people singing along?

[@Mutantcy1992]

Are you serious?

[@Mutantcy1992]

***** Ain't nobody talkin to you.

[@crazyrottenbones]

get ur ears checked, plz

[@happygopucky1602]

They didn't sing along after 3:58 because it was an extended version of Oh Bo that's not in the original song everyone's heard

[@meggriffon5124]

Serious as can be. I was more paying attention to the show tho than how "annoying" the audience was being. But yeah no I didn't hear anybody sing along.

[@antisbest]

watched this high, and it was the greatest thing ive ever seen

[@hollydean1367]

hes so smart and he makes it funny and hes just funny and i wish he was still doing comedy... i send his lyrics randomly to people and thats why i have no friends MEH

[@mycoreefer]

I liked it when he said [REDACTED] in that fast flow

[@p8ntbawlr210]

3:17 " It was all a dream, i used to read a quick nick magazine, ren and stimpy tommy pickles and the gang between, i used to watch TV in the dark, every saturday, double dare with my main man Marky Mark." LYRICAL GENIUS.

[@michaels3860]

Holy fuckin shit Eminem watch out!

[@joanz2756]

What does he say after the "Help me"

[@jeojeb99]

Help me out door man x3

[@lm2017]

I'm about a year late to this comment but you can probably find it somewhere on youtube. somewhere in this show he says "give it up for doorman" because I think he was holding the door for people and it was during the show so he didn't have to. doorman becomes a running joke throughout this entire show.

[@rocknrollersforevr27]

this performance. the one at the aladdin theater is like the best one ive ever seen him do. :D

[@tortoises100]

give it up for doorman...

[@JaneAshleyAndrews]

Blowing in the wind parody at first was amazing.

[@mayamoo2666]

"Explicit" *laughs in distance extremely loud and starts talking sarcastically" Really? I had no idea I mean this guy is so pure and never makes bad jokes or cusses.

[@codyculwell6941]

That moment ( 5:50 ) when he realized he went to far stopped, then turned the stop into some thing that worked. That was awesome and he is a genius!

[@codyculwell6941]

Correction 5:53 *

[@ArronMCFC]

Or they are the lyrics he wrote and he sung them...

[@codyculwell6941]

+Dark Light no I never did is that how he originally wrote it?

[@akfitz]

You're welcome?

[@TheRealFrostify]

He did that a lot in this. I was surprised. He truly is a genius

[@metaldragoon9468]

Watch out Eminem another white rapper is in the house

[@xThePinkApple]

I'm so thankful that the lyrics are in the description

[@WalkerDoes]

Omg 6:50 he said "please don't sing" under his breath 😂😂

[@TheIrishDino]

Or it was "that spells semen" but both are equally possible

[@thunderhooves4400]

@@TheIrishDino I'm pretty sure it was "that spells semen"

[@SHUX-A7-13]

Thank you amanda woldt for recording and posting this. I watched these vids years ago and those doorman shoutouts still get me 😆

[@novagrant4507]

4:42 -wrong song bo-

[@gobilla2124]

that's the point

[@ohadmire3814]

this is legendary

[@KyleKanga]

what was the song he started to play when he said it was an original?

[@jeojeb99]

A thousand miles

[@rickfrye9525]

Inside was so amazing I had to go back and look at some of the old stuff