Alain de Botton and Ayishat Akanbi | Studio B: Unscripted

On this episode of Studio B Unscripted, philosopher Alain de Botton is in conversation with stylist and social commentator Ayishat Akanbi.
A best-selling author, whose books have been described as a ‘philosophy of everyday life’, de Botton founded The School of Life, a social enterprise determined to make learning relevant in today’s culture using philosophy to help others ‘live wisely and well’.
Ayishat Akanbi is a fashion stylist and writer. Through her work and online following she confronts complex issues related to surviving in today's society. She uses her platform to comment on and call out injustice and inequality.
This meeting of two minds from different backgrounds explores a range of topics from ancient Greek tragedies and Russian literature, to racism, social media and loneliness. The topics of conversation revolve around the nature of good vs evil, the notion of empathy towards others and how emotional intelligence can be a vehicle towards a better society for all.
The views expressed in this programme are the guests' own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera's editorial stance.
Studio B, Unscripted is a free-flow conversation between two guests and a small audience, with no mediation, no MC, no TV presenter - focusing on what brings us all together and how we can tackle and discuss some of the big issues of our time.
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[@onemanenclave]

"At the root of anger there is optimism that has been frustrated."

[@joana50]

Is this Einzelganger?

[@swiftie_billie.eilish]

@@joana50 by alain

[@joana50]

@@flishry So we need to be realistic first for optimism to be effective?

[@TheDionysianFields]

OR...success that has been thwarted.

[@orelhai]

this conversation made me feel a little less lonely

[@KieraT]

I feel this every time I hear Ayishat speak.

[@MaverickLingo]

I feel the same way.

[@daniellew544]

Same

[@gregorykollarus8190]

So true when I watch this I feel less lonely

[@etcetera3282]

I am already familiar with Alain de Botton and I admire him a lot. But I never heard about Ayishat before. And i am quite taken by her wisdom and intelligence. I will definitely look for more videos by her on KZbin.

[@tallperson717]

See her latest interview on Triggernometry KZbin Channel. She's awesome

[@rosiemc8812]

I can't get enough of her now either after watching a recent interview on the Rebel Wisdom channel! :-)

[@googlelyfun9766]

Agreed!

[@gregorykollarus8190]

She is amazing

[@issavirgo4838]

Why was you taken by her wisdom and intelligence?

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I love the question at 20:22 about having empathy towards racists. I can see how being the victim of oppression makes it incredibly difficult to have an empathetic approach to other people, but in my own experience I've noticed I get peace of mind when I choose to not let racism/racists have power over me and my emotions. Like Ayishat said I prefer "removing the power of racism in my own life", by having empathy towards people like that I believe that it allows you to see that they're just using racism as a mask for their insecurities.

[@xoxoJGWS]

Exactly! I like how you worded that. And i often think there is a misconception on that of, when i have compassion for the person who did me wrong, i say it was okay for them to do that and i am no longer entitled to feel very angry or sad about it. But i think both can exist together, sometimes i am sad or angered at a comment and then later i think about the person and i can see how they came to say that mean thing and i start to feel compassion. AND i can still feel hurt by it, the compassion for them is not more or better than compassion for myself.

[@sararichardson737]

Wish I’d had that perspective back in the day. My life, quite possibly, would be different today. Just sayin.

[@TheEnglishator]

Exactly! Or terrorism for that matter!

[@kellythrash3154]

That is a lovely way to word that concept. When my son was about 5, he asked me one day, Mama, what's the difference between me and Joseph? (His mixed race cousin.) I didn't understand, and he said, well. I'm white, he's black. Does that mean I'm better than him? Is he better than me? I laughed, and told my sweet boy, honey, you know how when we go to the pool to swim, and I smother you with sunscreen, and Aunt Pat doesn't really make Joseph wear much at all? He said, yeah..... I said well, there you go. It is really just a difference I how much sunscreen you have to wear, darling. He thought about that for a minute, then smiled and said, okay. And they went to play. Idk what made me say that. But I wanted my baby to understand, it doesn't matter! He is your cousin. Skin tone is kind of beside the point. Wish everyone in government knew that, lol.

[@BreenyLee]

two of my favourite minds in one video? wow, never thought I'd see this day...

[@lobz]

I never thought you would be interested in this kind of discourse.

[@deemah5050]

Breeny Lee , i love your channel ♥️♥️

[@iSweariCanDance]

Well yeah this is the video you were looking for. This is a video of both of your favorite minds talking to each other about various subjects.

[@gregorykollarus8190]

Love these two too

[@divinegoddess3060]

must be a British thing lol

[@Matrinique]

I love her. Lots of memorable quotes from this talk. "We think that understanding something is the same as condoning it."

[@janebaker966]

That's what we get told,or used to,not much now. If I educate you on every aspect and nuance of my rare health condition or on every detail of the sexual practice I need to engage in,in order to feel fulfilled and whole then you will UNDERSTAND and you won't loathe,hate,fear and isolate me. Actually NO,it doesn't work like that.

[@jonpadrejuan5357]

the world needs more people with this kind of thinking.

[@wellofloneliness]

and with the courage to express it

[@TheFizziologieNetwork]

I think many of us think in this nuanced and deep way, but as discussed, perhaps are not willing to be vulnerable enough to speak up...

[@zibajaaan8592]

wauw indeed. The final two minutes gave me goosebumps: some people get ill because they are too selfless which stands in their way to live authentically🍀♥️ Beautiful video, I want more Haha

[@capnkirkie1]

Watching content like this is so refreshing. I wish I had more people in my life that I could just sit down with and talk about the topics they discussed

[@dianamitchell57]

capn kirkie I so agree.

[@oluwaseun5250]

same here. over a glass of wine and maybe popcorn

[@capnkirkie1]

@@dianamitchell57 If only the 3 of us knew each other 😂

[@amanda008]

Me too! IG Group? Lol

[@capnkirkie1]

@@amanda008 I'm down if y'all are!

[@gent8940]

Was it Joseph Campbell who said “If you want to understand what's most important to a society, don't examine its art or literature, simply look at its biggest buildings,” in that case it’d not be banks (“tallest”), but Amazon fulfilment warehouses. We are consumerists.

[@caroldiehl8453]

Labeling people as "consumerists" seems to be missing the point of the talk.

[@DaveE99]

The entire economy depends on sales. One persons spending is another’s income.

[@SeanTheDon17]

This was a beautiful talk by two beautiful people.

[@martycrow]

Kindness, listening, intelligence, humour. What more can one ask for?

[@dancingmango143]

@@martycrow absolutely that 🙏🏾

[@bewhole1556]

I agree. And love that the message is that we are all beautiful--and flawed. We must maintain the capacity for forgiveness, toward others and mostly toward ourselves.

[@SeanTheDon17]

@@bewhole1556 Such a beautiful message

[@carlosinchile]

martycrow. How about.. Hard work Freedom of speech Personal Responsibility & many more issues humans constantly need to maintain & develop.

[@paulineburke7965]

Ahhhhh! What a relief! Thank you 💚 I am not the only one. I have been watching so many speakers who seem so happy and free from suffering that I have felt ashamed and weird. Now I feel okay about feeling lonely and weird. I'm about to publish a book and I am terrified that it's rubbish, but it is really authentic, and I don't regret this, whatever happens. Please keep on helping us with your honesty and integrity. X

[@jacellhs9644]

Pauline Burke good luck Pauline!

[@vikkiiam3083]

Best ever is Byron Katie .

[@gregorykollarus8190]

It so true! We need more conversation like this out there in the world.

[@bdf2199]

Ayishat is one of the most enlightened figures Ive seen

[@OFFICIALFUNUSBAND]

@Roberto Varial lol same. dont understand the praise but good for her.

[@OFFICIALFUNUSBAND]

@Roberto Varial social media doof indeed

[@gregorykollarus8190]

I agree she’s completely my inspiration

[@chriskii12344]

On a Ayishat Akanbi binge at the moment, very interesting thinker.

[@keenanfinucan8778]

The generosity, the independence and the honesty shown by these two people is refreshing and sorely needed in our world!

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

15:43 vulnerability = strength

[@chillimis1]

Compassion is a privilege (that comes from loving parents, education and so on..)- therefore you can't blame others for not having it - but if you have the privilege of being compassionate and understanding - you should always do your best to use it. In this way you can possibly plant a seed of compassion and love in people who doesen't have the same sufficient mental resources as you.

[@chillimis1]

@@gorosemonde I'm definitely not saying that you shouldn't believe that people can surpass their conditions. I'm saying that instead of blaming people for their conditions, you should use your own abundance of love - and hereby help others surpass their conditions. I think it's wrong that we in the western world tend to think that moral responsibility should only be attached to the individual instead of the collective. We all have responsibility for each other, and those who has the most resources should give to those who doesen't. The practice of giving, is something you need to create as an individual, but by using the gifts (love and compassion) from your circumstances.

[@janebaker966]

Just because you extend compassion towards other people doesn't mean they will return it,or love and respect or gratitude either. Its not like a commercial exchange. I do something kind for someone,they are perfectly entitled to hate me back and be rude to show they have on obligation or debt towards me. I may not be rude to that black person but that doesn't have to stop them being rude to me and laughing at my discomfiture.

[@farhadsharifi1628]

"behind cynicism is usually anger" , great talk

[@Kar-Kan]

Behind not cynicism is usually naivines or stupidity which is one an the same.

[@patar782]

^^^ is a perfect example of the sentence

[@Kar-Kan]

Yes i agree from foto he is kind a naively stupid looking guy.

[@owenh1145]

How's it going? Do you still think this? You seemed quite cynical and angry enough to insult someone over the internet who is brave enough to put their face and name to their words. I hope you might look at your comment and feel like it's not you and that you've changed your mind. Sending you love either way

[@Szaam]

22:44 "It's not so much that I'm saying that I want to sit down with KKK members, but what I am saying is that I won't allow them the privilege of making me think that they're evil." That is a brilliant quote. I only discovered Ayishat today and I love her already.

[@phily8093]

I wish the world talked to itself like these two people do.

[@helenakandjumbwa7995]

Alain is my dad! What a mind. What a man.

[@realbobbyaxel]

he is the dad i never had!

[@gregorykollarus8190]

These two are amazing!!! Love them for the honesty, and truth they put out into the universe. Empathy, and understanding is what our society completely lacks. These two are starting a new wonderful conversation! Thank god!

[@Jose-lk9rt]

I never thought I would hear by Alain himself “how am I crazy”, when she asked I was like, NO WAY. Awesome

[@lindaruto9457]

How am I discovering this right now !! So refreshing !

[@sobrevida157]

Evil. . . it stops the conversation where it should begin. Very profound. That's true of every label, isn't it? She's just crazy. She's a CEO. He's a bartender. He's introverted. She's a conservative. He's liberal. . . we think we know everything about someone when we can label them. There may be people who see that this video is presented by Al Jazeera and just can't watch it. But when we label, we miss the nuance. Why might she have anxiety issues. Why is he liberal? Why is he introverted. Once we start looking with love or curiosity, we can being to understand our selves and each other..

[@TheDionysianFields]

I agree with nearly every word of that, except we should never question something like introversion. I see it as an essential trait of myself and others.

[@gregorykollarus8190]

This is so inspiring. I try to watch this video every few weeks, in a way to center my self. Thank God people like this are out there in the world. I just wish there were more people in the United States thought this way.

[@reflections509]

that's a great idea I just saved it and want to incorporate it into my morning routine

[@wojciechdrozdek677]

30:55 - Here's a weird question. Are you lonely? - Yes, in many ways, yes. - Me too. The fact that this kind of exchange can be seen on TV is fulfilling.

[@robertamoshe]

This conversation made me feel less alone. Truly beautiful.

[@gregorykollarus8190]

Soooo true

[@KingNomad]

"if you want to know what a society values, look at the tallest buildings in that society, what are they devoted to?" love it

[@apbtxca]

This is the best I will say that because I am so grateful everyday for simple things like running water, indoor bathrooms and electricity, magical things like knowing how to play an instrument, being able to push a button and hear music, having information easily accessible at libraries and now the internet blow my mind everyday and I truly am happy even in the midst of deep deep disappointments and sadness. I feel privileged & fascinated when going through the anguish suffering so I may have a better connect to more kinds of people & their experiences I’ve learned that people connect and feel less alone when you share your anxieties, but in the end compared to many places even now, but most certainly almost all cultures throughout history I am doing wonderful.

[@mrcolemore5831]

Absolutely loved it. And pleased to see Alain's face. Student of School of life

[@riyana9960]

I wish our families taught us these things! Anyhow, thank you for this visceral conversation.

[@TheVGinia]

Finally got to see the face behind school of life! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@patricialyons383]

Alain please post more wonderful lectures we need you today 😊😢

[@RichieHardcore]

This gives me hope in our hyper-mediated, outraged times, thanks to these amazing humans for such a compassionate and kind conversation.

[@gregorykollarus8190]

Love this conversation too. Thank God there are people like them out there on the Internet

[@purpigment]

The Perfect Conversation. And what a Beautiful Audience.

[@avm392]

What a very beautiful and sincere interview. You both are my kind of people...I read a lot, and I am lonely because I do not seem to find the people I am looking for in the outside world. God bless you both.

[@prosperousk5477]

One of the best conversations I’ve ever watched.

[@lobz]

This was amazing, we need more of this!

[@viveakin]

One of the most underrated discussions in Aljazeera! Wow! Love the wisdom here!

[@callista4990]

please more about alain in the internet. i just like looking at him talking. so comforting.

[@TheDionysianFields]

My takeaways: Evil is a concept human beings invented to simplify their reality. Monsters are real, but only in a relative sense (and all of them were once scared children, and perhaps still are). The need for an enemy is the need for a scapegoat. To give in to such a need is to foster an unlivable world. Impressed by this young woman.

[@akueijohnsonateny]

I’m economizing this conversation! I watch it part by part because I don’t wanna finish it any sooner! I need to be out there, hoping that when I get to my room, I’ll watch a part of the conversation! There’s too much wisdom in this, and I love wisdom!

[@ermentrud]

This was really interesting. I hope to be able to watch more and more talks like these, particularly with Alain de Botton who is so impressive, and whose books I am now reading. I'd simply adore to sit with him alone in a cafe and chat about all and sundry. It would be such fun, and truly enlightening!!!!

[@lindarodriguez5806]

Totally agree!! Love and compassion needs to be cultivated. Yes, to help make our world a better place.

[@hannammi1567]

Alain's eyes see through your soul. I love this warm exchange of ideas.

[@fareseddin4182]

Thank you for this beautiful discussion

[@rositsazlatanova1146]

I have only just started watching the video and I already love what Alain's saying. Watched many other videos with him.

[@gregorykollarus8190]

I need to watch more vids with alain. He’s amazing

[@naufalfalfal]

Before even watching I can tell it's going to be an interesting conversation from the title. Late to the party but I'm glad I found this

[@bebechocolateinbarcelona-a5034]

Also, there's no harm in the pursuit of happiness, there's simply a need to recognize that dreams may go unfulfilled but we must be satisfied/content with what we have too. There's a need for balance will striving for improvement/personal development.

[@blahdelablah]

Depends on what is driving the personal development, it's not always a positive aspect of our lives. Only you know what's right for you, but speaking personally it's not easy to get the balance you referred to right. To quote a film “A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”.

[@reflections509]

this is by far the best video I've seen in a very long time

[@sweetybissi5761]

This was an inspiring conversation ! Uplifting

[@KingNomad]

gosh so many gems in this talk !

[@patriciasimon5888]

So much wisdom in their words. I think I'll keep coming back to this video. :)

[@mattng4707]

Oh my God I wish I was taught this when I was in my teens and 20s, just love this talk.

[@marisfenix]

I can’t thank you enough Alain !

[@asekhotakane]

This video gave me chills so much knowledge and intellect

[@ingeweeda]

wow! two great souls in one space! RESPEKT!!! and at 9:50 ... facing murder nearby our heart, is another level of diving deep, deeper... i faced it as well, a few years ago... respect and many thanks for this very inspiring dialogue being posted.

[@summertimejay3157]

Beautiful conversation that flowed smoothly from one topic to another.

[@amanr6346]

What a wonderful discourse between two perceptive minds! 🙏😀

[@Nico.Robin7]

Anything with Ayishat I love 🥰🥰. P.S First time I've heard of Alain and I love him already.

[@nancymohass4891]

What made people be “alienated “ and lonely , in modern world, that’s what we need to understand to find a solution which is going to be a long process .

[@LeaLittleDanishGirl]

20:22 Their answers are just so spot on! 🎯 29:40 THAT is SO me! 😂🙏 2 of my favourite talkers in one show! 👌

[@akumasan69100]

Two open-minded poeple speaking truths , I really appreciate it! Have you ever thought about giving them some other "everyday life problems" or mental health issues not so understood from all of us , and letting them express some thoughts about it? could be eye-openning for some of us to see this type of programm put forward a bit in our every days life. Thanks all for reading , stay healthy.

[@uGuguTshabalala]

Hands down the most amazing conversation I have ever listened to

[@realbobbyaxel]

Alain de Botton is a brilliant person... lot to learn from him and we must follow his teachings

[@Mateo-et3wl]

He's not a cult leader

[@fypip]

Loved this!

[@amorybristol2568]

Cynicism and compassion are not mutually exclusive. If you scratch the surface of any cynic, you’ll find a disappointed idealist.

[@AcousticUplift]

Amen to that. I don't think every cynic is a disappointed idealist but many are.

[@thetreesify]

I needed this video today! Lovely!!:)

[@louellalanan8386]

I like to see them having a good and healthy intellectual talks...I learnt that kindness came from our sins that we commit and instead to condemn and despise those evil, find the reason why he commit. Therefore, I affirm to Alain De Botton's statement in his conversation.

[@isaacrurengo4690]

The lighting is HEAVEN! ORGASMIC!! Good God almighty!

[@HussainFahmy]

*_Love can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when we know what we love for most and hold it like a light within us, we can make things happen, almost like magic._*

[@rainoftranquility7735]

A reflection of yourself will often lead to profound growth. I came to a realization later than I would have liked, that the things I was taught as a child need to be unlearned. Our parents, grandparents, etc. taught us what they knew, but much of that has been detrimental to our emotional level of intelligence. The majority of people's ideologies stem from their childhood. However, very few change or challenge those beliefs once they are adults. Sadly, this has led to the continuation of many negative views and beliefs.

[@TheDionysianFields]

Amen.

[@davemckay4359]

Thanks for convo.

[@kasvinimuniandy4178]

I loved the question about romantic comedies. I've seen some humbling Korean dramas that challenged my perception of romantic love and love in general. Because It's My First Life (realistic challenges/benefits that come with marrying a person) When The Camelia Blooms (mother and son's love, love for your own blood, love for yourself.) It's Okay Not To Be Okay (self-love) Righteous Love (the lady does a lot, A LOT of laundry) Save Me (Friendship, Hope and Courage) My ID is Gangnam Beauty (External beauty and Inner beauty) Indeed, romance plays a role in most of the shows but I was challenged by these stories to explore my own values and what I look for in life.

[@mmm59mmm]

To answer one of the ladies' questions: The movie "Marraige Story" is a great depiction of how romance and partnership is in real life

[@paulineburke7965]

My best relationships are with people with whom there is no pretending to be all okay and not crazy. You two are so great.

[@AndrewBugimbi]

I really crushed on someone in the audience I juse wana say hi...she asked alain what makes him crazy in a black cap

[@beelze1821]

"anyone can love something that is terrific, but can you love something that is not terrific?" dayum

[@Cathy1W]

Alain needs to let Ayishat speak more it sounds like he is leading the conversation all the time let Ayishat talk........ let it unfold.

[@hnwestin]

What a wonderful talk

[@wasilatyusuf5413]

I bless today that I found this video ☺️

[@sajjad4626]

Ayishat in Joe Rogan podcast, who is with me !

[@jzaaaa4372]

Very very good idea, that would be fantastic

[@insanecaine]

Look at the section of conversation at 12:42. The red-haired woman asks a question to Alain, and they right after that the bald man asked one to Ayishat. Listen very carefully to how Alain makes his points by constructed clear and sound arguments. You can tell that he has really things about his ideas and has sculpted responses. It was a real pleasure listening to him. And also I enjoyed Ayishat as well. It's great to see great thinkers talking to each other.

[@sumotherdude]

so good!

[@paulines581]

Thank you

[@cantavoidtrite]

What a great audience!

[@lynnrich114]

I am amazed that Alain reports that he is insecure. I hold him to brilliant, eloquent, thoughtful, and down to earth. Naturally, his admission of being unsure makes him even more relatable. And well, isn't that the point in all of this. I make it a practice of being vulnerable in many situations. I have long found that in this practice lies true connection.

[@uninstaller2860]

41:22 the lady in gray. I can't stop laughing! I know that probably just her resting face, I feel mean. But again, I can't stop! :D

[@dmoskha]

I think that's my exact face when I'm sooooo tired but trying hard to stay awake and follow because of the sheer wisdom being served in the room 😅

[@dlizzy3835]

😂😭 I wasn't prepared. I was so focused on the speaker's seemingly anxious expression that I missed it. I also feel guilty for laughing, hopefully she wouldn't be offended. Thanks, I needed that laugh.

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Honestly, I'm much more scared of the faces that seem calm nowadays. 🤔

[@MegaSammura]

I know that expression !

[@Deecat88]

A face of deep understanding with psychotic tendencies. In reality I bet she’s a lovely person. 🙏🏽

[@bobninda]

Gotta love Botton - I’m a huge fan.

[@gregorykollarus8190]

I am a big fan of him too

[@tatianach917]

A beautiful conversation between beautiful people. Even comments r so good like wtf

[@haidarandalusi6979]

In a world filled with potential friends and enemies, love and hate are as necessary as knowing when to use which on whom.

[@hughlowe4431]

Fantastic conversation

[@user-hj8nt6rc2w]

i love it!!!!

[@kim.possible.]

I understand people being cautious about the word religion but Jesus was the epitome of radical love 💕 I love that this conversation is being had even when it’s not within the Christian context. The topics discussed by these amazing people are really necessary right now.

[@swaggadagga95]

Love these guys

[@caerulea0]

Wonderful talk

[@namiin3034]

She's wearing green wallabies 👀 I used to love mine, 1990s fashion 😂😂😂😂

[@L4SERB0Y]

Interesting discussion, they are effectively describing a secular society christian philosophy and freedom of speech.

[@twilightandmileyfann]

Wow amazing talk ☺️

[@catscan2022]

This woman is so mature for one so young